Coriolis is finally getting some very much deserved attention! Good! If someone deserves it, it's him. Plenty of good wishes sent his way! :)

About me? Took the 3-day Oracle Portals training at SanJuan. Had to make a sacrifice and stay at the AVO's place. Met the Sims, had some long talks, and had a wonderful time. Thanks for everything! You definitively made me feel very welcomed. :) What can I say, but that I am so overwhelmed by this guy? He's a true friend, and that is not a light thing to say... A friend in every sense of the world. He has just the right words for everything... I am speechless, humbled... inspired... And very grateful that I stumbled on him on my stray path...

So, the training was ok... the company from work so-so... Sleepless... tired... But very much inspired, thank you! :) My spirit is renewed. Had to die to be born again... Ain't it always like this?

"Magik" fills the senses now. There is a new light to everything around me... and I don't feel I walk alone. Changes ahead.
Inspiration.

So… Been days since my last post… Well, days may be bad and cruel, but they can end up being just the right amount of fun. An horizon of... bliss?

Nothing, just biting a little of
Heaven...
Right here in Hell.
Flying into this Darkness,
Twirling into its deadly embrace
Turning into a willing slave…
Yielding to its mercy
While blazing up in flames

Fire growing and consuming everything,
Firestorm taking all that dare face it
Flailing with rage and might and power
The echoes screaming louder… higher…

Consume plains and mountains!
Deserts and planes!
Consume oceans and mounts,
What do I care?
Consume all at your mighty, unstoppable path…
Turn life to ashes
And make it all whole
Turn ashes to Life!
Become my God!


‘Nuff said. So… Firestorms unleashed in my world… What to do? What to do?
No stopping this fire, the wind makes it intense… Beautiful… Amazing… Powerful…

No more fears.

10-4

CRUZADA

Vaga buscando venganza,
desgarrando carne y alma...
Secando el aliento,
(sordos gritos anémicos)
Siguiendo la ruta evidente
Donde el hierro invisible hiere
y las húmedas sonrisas queman.

Búsqueda iracunda! Infinita!
Mirada ciega y pesado andar...
Huellas desvanecidas en arena movediza,
Mentiras y verdades que pretenden volar...
Tornando al simple vientop en tormenta...
Tornando al vendabal en destrucción...
Sin rumbo... El espectro vela...

Cruzando el infinito, lentamente,
(pesar que no termina ni ofrece lamento)
tan sólo empuje eterno que no lleva prisa,
tan sólo se llena de emoción frívola...
atravesando parajes o moradas,
llevando la guadaña como ídolo
y en su espalda el filo de una espada.

Corre sangre caliente, la sed aumenta...
Corre el fallido deseo e ilusión.
Cae de bruces la fe eterna!
Y ríe a carcajadas la cruel traición.
Se ha guardado en vanos rios escarlata
Otorgando inviernos que detienen el palpitar
Mas aún la vendeta ha de continuar...

-Kymill, Bard of the Planes

INVOCACIÖN

Desconocido a tangible y real.
Sueño? Fantasma? Cómo saber?
Tan sólo su voz y su alma he tocado...
Sus ojos y su sonrisa danzan en las tinieblas
Mas su presencia ya vive dentro de mí.
Qué extraño efecto ha tenido
el doblar del campanar del olvido!

Sombras danzan al unísono, y se desvanecen
Al aparecer su reflejo en luz brillante...
Deslumbra su esencia, desfallece su ahínco.
Dia tras dia no falta su conciencia,
Su inspiración, sus detalles, su belleza...
Etérea... intangible... tan real...
Marea que se levanta y se torna letal!

Dónde moran tus brazos en el frío?
Dónde descansan tus pensamientos?
Desvarío...
Lejos de tí es un tormento
Que el Infierno de Dante rivaliza...
Mas no hay apremio sino desvelo,
Ansias y susurros de desdicha...

Luz en tinieblas, guía en la tormenta,
Ven a mí y desata tu pasión...
Que en la furia de hielo y fuego se conjure
El hechizo que defenderá nuestro bastión!

-Kymill, Bard of the Planes

This salutation to dear miss Kara Rimmer, who is having a killer time buiding up success out there in the iron jungle! Weeeeeeeeeee! Miss talking to you! Hope you get all the contracts, get rich and famous, and get to walk over everyone who stood in your way. Hell yeah! And then, don't you forget about me ;)

It's Memorial day. Spent the whole day sleeping with my beloved kitties. Yes, SLEEPING! The earth may tremble, lions may roar and... I am fricking hungry. :P Yesterday had a happy-go-lucky talk with Coriolis that cheered me up a bit. Finally saw the Matrix at 12:50am on Sun... Wow. Great SFX, FX and all X's you wanna add. A bit too linear/predictable storyline, but what the hech... it was worth the pain. Had another happy-go-lucky talk today with Lucinda. She is having the time of her life with the introduction of... The Hair Place! A haven for anything you ever wanted! Showed her some extentions and now I created a monster. She also got some purple dye for her hair... let's see if she finally submit herself to my assimilation. ;) And finally, a happy-go-lucky chat with the AVO (yeah, from now on lets keep it short, that's a way too long name! Angry-Vindictive-One... so there are no mistakes) :D. That was full of adventure, drama, suspense and terror. ;) Always a pleasure sharing time with him.
So, Now I'm off to see the Wizard and see if I finally finish today's assignment.

10-4

Ok... now, about the bright stars that bloomed in my sky, here are the compatibility answers... And I wonder what went wrong... :P Ok, this is ONLY for fun purposes, since I am kinda in retrospective of my whole life... The signs that crashed against me: Tauro, Leo, Virgo and Pisces. And this is all I will write about romantic life in here. LOL Again, Enjoy!

Aries and Taurus
When Aries and Taurus come together in a love affair, the partnership is a natural union of Love, represented by Taurus, and Passion, represented by Aries. This relationship is all about balance. Aries wants to jump right in and get into it, while Taurus prefers to go much more slowly. This can create a problem; Taurus loves to be wooed and romanced -- two concepts that are basically foreign to straightforward, brash, totally unsubtle Aries. An Aries-Taurus partnership can be a great learning experience for both Signs. Taurus can help Aries rein in some of the more foolish, impractical impulses, and Aries can help Taurus be more spontaneous and adventurous.
Taurus is sensual, patient and gentle. Aries is attracted to these qualities; Aries sees Taurus as their rock, totally stable and loyal forever. Taurus sees Aries as possessing that quality they want more of -- knowing when and how to grab on to life's opportunities. These Signs are a good balance for each other. Aries might sometimes play games with Taurus, playing off that Bullish laziness, or try to push Taurus into making hasty decisions, but the Bull can usually convince the Ram to slow down a bit. Aries brings excitement to the relationship, while Taurus brings security and romance. When Aries wants instant gratification, Taurus can show just how sexy and sensual slow, deliberate movement can be.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars (passion), and Taurus is ruled by the Planet Venus (love). Venus and Mars go well together; they represent the two necessary halves of the same relationship coin. The symbols are universally recognized as masculine and feminine, so this relationship is a good balance of these energies.

Aries and Leo
When Aries and Leo come together in a love affair, the sparks will fly! Both are Fire Signs, passionate and dynamic, with a healthy love of sportsmanship and competition. There is a lot of action in this relationship. Both Signs want to be the boss and problems can arise when their equally-large egos get in the way. These partners have genuine admiration and respect for each other, but they need to learn to take turns commanding and giving orders -- even when they're only choosing a movie at the video store!
This partnership is all about fiery passion, domination and who's on top -- and when! Both Signs can be impatient and proud. Leo likes to be adored and their egos to be stroked, services which easily-bored Aries may not want to provide. Aries may also be bothered by Leo's flirtatious nature -- but this relationship is always exciting. Despite their sometimes noisy differences, Aries often looks to Leo as a guide or counselor. Leo is the Lion and, with Leo, Aries can be the lamb. As in the myth (The Lion and the Lamb), any differences between these two can be overcome. Both Signs are usually respected by others and it's important that this respect exists within the relationship as well.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Leo is ruled by the Sun. Both are masculine energy archetypes, and together they make a good combination -- they understand each other because they're coming from the same place. The Sun is about the self and Mars is about aggressive energy, so they're highly compatible and can make a powerful team.

Aries and Virgo
When Aries and Virgo come together in a love match, they may think at first that they have nothing in common and nothing to learn from one another. This relationship takes time to develop as each partner must learn to understand where the other is coming from. Aries and Virgo can seem like total opposites: While Aries is brash, dominant and aggressive, always jumping into new things and almost always impatient, Virgo is detail-oriented and quiet, even shy, and works patiently toward long-term goals. Aries's energy is fiery and impetuous while Virgo's is much slower and more grounded. It's these very differences, however, that can teach Aries and Virgo so much, once they just look beneath one another's surfaces to see what lies beneath.
Early in the relationship, Aries and Virgo may see nothing but one another's faults. Virgo thinks Aries is way too brash, and Aries thinks Virgo is extremely fussy. But if they focus on one another's strengths instead, they'll discover a great deal. Aries teaches Virgo about fun and excitement, about the spontaneity that is often missing in Virgo's life. Virgo teaches Aries patience and attention to detail, the knowledge that the little things -- and moments -- are important too. Aries can teach their Virgo lover to take things less seriously. Virgo can teach Aries to be polite and value hard work.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Virgo is ruled by the Planet Mercury. Aries wants to rush out and fight without wasting time preplanning or strategizing. Conversely, Virgo wants to analyze everything and work out all the details before acting. These are such opposite approaches that strife can result. Both Signs must make a conscious effort to learn from one another's method rather than letting their partner's natural rhythm bother to the point of distraction.

Aries and Pisces
When Aries and Pisces come together in a love match, they can be very good for one another. Aries is a strong Sign; they are almost completely prey to their impulses, which they follow without a second thought to the outcome or possible consequences. Dreamy Pisces is much quieter and more internally-focused; they're the Poets of the Zodiac. On the surface an Aries and a Pisces may seem an unlikely pair, but when there's love involved, they can truly fulfill one another's needs. Pisces is very intuitive, both as a person and as a lover; Aries must take care to return this favor so Pisces won't begin to see their Aries partner as stingy and selfish.
Aries is a leader with tons of initiative. When Aries finds someone attractive they'll launch the pursuit without a second thought. When the 'prey' is gentle Pisces, Aries tends to take on the role of protector. The funny thing is, Pisces is the real protector, as the intuitive, deeply understanding partner who provides a relaxing sort of refuge for hectic Aries. Pisces is a Water Sign; they can fill any container, so to speak. They are so giving and empathetic that sometimes they can become something of a doormat -- they give themselves completely to their partners, and if their partner can't do the same, trouble may result. Pisces understands Aries in a deeper way than most other Signs do, so this can help alleviate this type of problem: Pisces knows how to keep Aries from becoming overly brash or rash. Together they form a dynamic team when they combine Aries's directness with Pisces's intuitive understanding of other people.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars (Passion) and Pisces is ruled by the Planets Jupiter (Luck) and Neptune (Illusions). Mars brings passionate action to Neptune's dreamlife. Aries helps Pisces bring their fantasies into reality. Jupiter lets Pisces help Aries tone down their overt style of operation.

And the phoenix rises from the ashes...

As MANY know I am ARIEN. So, took some interest on revamping my knowledge on my favorite subject, myself, and here are the results. Enjoy!

V’s Sun sign: ARIES
Aries is the first Sign of the Zodiac, and that's pretty much how those born under this Sign see themselves: first. Aries are the leaders of the pack, first in line to get things going. Whether or not everything gets done is another question altogether, for an Aries prefers to initiate rather than to complete. Do you have a project needing a kick-start? Call an Aries, by all means. The leadership displayed by Aries is most impressive, so don't be surprised if they can rally the troops against seemingly insurmountable odds -- they have that kind of personal magnetism. An Aries won't shy away from new ground, either. Those born under this Sign are often called the pioneers of the Zodiac, and it's their fearless trek into the unknown that often wins the day. Aries is a bundle of energy and dynamism, kind of like a Pied Piper, leading people along with its charm and charisma. The dawning of a new day -- and all of its possibilities -- is pure bliss to an Aries.

The symbol of Aries is the Ram, and that's both good and bad news. Impulsive Aries might be tempted to ram their ideas down everyone's throats without even bothering to ask if they want to know. It's these times when you may wish Aries's Sign's symbol were a more subdued creature, more lamb than ram perhaps. You're not likely to convince the Ram to soften up; these folks are blunt and to the point. Along with those qualities comes the sheer force of the Aries nature, a force that can actually accomplish a great deal. Much of Aries's drive to compete and to win comes from its Cardinal Quality. Cardinal Signs love to get things going, and Aries exemplifies this even better than Cancer, Libra or Capricorn.

Aries are ruled by the Planet Mars. Taking a peek at Roman mythology, we find that Mars was the God of War. Our man Mars was unafraid to do battle, and much the same can be said for Aries. These folks are bold, aggressive and courageous. They can summon up the inner strength required to take on most anyone, and they'll probably win. Aries do not lack energy or vitality, and they can stay in the game longer than most anyone else. Now that's a winning edge. Rams are also, for the most part, independent and well aware of their own interests in a given situation. This sometimes myopic view may not be for everyone, but it does help Aries get things going. Further, their competitive natures ensure that they will play the game with zeal and vigor. At times, their approach may be construed as arrogant and domineering, but it takes a lot of focus to be a leader (or so an Aries would say). Sadly, the Aries won't usually be around for the final victory (defeat? never). These folks will more than likely have bolted to the next project before the first one is done.

The Element associated with Aries is Fire. Think action, enthusiasm and a burning desire to play the game. Aries love physicality, so they won't sit on the sidelines for long, if at all. They'll jump into the fray full force and will contribute much in the process. Talk about eager beavers! Sure, some of their decisions may later prove to have been hasty, but you'll never find an Aries who regretted taking a shot.
Making things happen is what it's all about to these folks. Aries are also unafraid of stepping onto new terrain. The challenge inherent in taking on the unknown is heaven on Earth for Rams. Sure, they may appear arrogant when they take on the world, but they'll be quick to tell you it's the only way to go. While a common Aries refrain might well be 'me first,' there's no point in arguing with them since, in their minds, they are first. Is this unbridled ego? Maybe, but that might be what it takes to blaze a new trail. Oh, and on the subject of arguing, it's the Ram who will have the last word, so save your breath.
Aries seem to play as hard as they work. These folks are happiest in a spirited soccer match or engaging in the martial arts. In the game of love, the Ram's ardor is unquestioned, although Aries can also be playful and romantic with their mate. With Aries ruling the head, face and brain, those born under this Sign need to be on the lookout for headaches and are well-served to take the occasional deep breath. The Ram's color is bright red, a sure sign of the fire that breathes within.
The great strength of the Aries-born is in their initiative, courage and determination. These folks love to get things going and are fearless along the way. Their dynamism and competitive spirit add considerably any of their endeavors.

V’s Rising Sign: Aries Rising
If your Rising Sign is Aries, whether you like it or not, people always look to you to get things started, to lead the charge, and to say the things that no one else dares to say. You seem confident and blunt -- and like an easy puzzle to put together. People think they understand your motivations. On the negative side, you might appear too intense and forward -- even self-absorbed. Don't be surprised if others expect you to respond jealously in love. That is the Aries way, and for all the world, you look like an Aries!

V’s Descendant: Attraction Factor, Libra Descendant
If Libra lies on your Descendant, you're searching for a romantic partner with an even temperament and a sense of inner harmony. Since you have Aries Rising -- a Sign associated with aggressiveness and action -- you seem to the world quite spontaneous, bold and assertive. Beneath the surface, though, you're a soft-hearted romantic who yearns to meet that special someone and settle down. Coupledom -- even with all its inherent benefits and aggravations -- profoundly appeals to you, the idea of sharing your life with one person resonating in your soul. When it comes to falling in love, you may at first seem blasé, too preoccupied and busy with your own dynamic lifestyle. You may even warn your potential mate of your roving eye or your need for freedom; once you've got their ear, though, you'll reveal your heart's true intentions. A mate keen on marriage and building a family will make you the most satisfied.

Lucky Sign: Aquarius
You find luck through your visionary skills and the ability to see beyond outmoded traditions. Prepare yourself for luck by positioning yourself in situations that value your innovative thinking and rebellious nature. With your revolutionary ideas, you have the potential to be a catalyst in organizations. By overcoming stubbornness, and through willingness to compromise, you will be able to find even more success and luck than you thought possible.

Karmic sign: Gemini
You have difficulty communicating what is on your mind -- usually because you fear being humiliated and doubt your own intelligence and mental capacities. You may try and compensate for this by working very hard at studies. You are deep and intellectual under the surface -- but often what you present is either intolerance and quiet or being over talkative. This usually is because of a fear of new ideas, even your own. If you examine your own motivation closely you might find that you use these things to avoid situations that might require a new outlook. In order to overcome your feelings of isolation you might try to connect more with your own motivation. You could find that your own ideas are completely acceptable, even valuable.

Passion sign: Aquarius
You are most likely a born rebel, with or without a cause! Are people surprised by your natural instinctive behavior? Mars in Aquarius renders you highly experimental, unorthodox, and independent. You express yourself in any way you see fit, and probably are unaware of how eccentric you actually are. You have a strong desire for independence and freedom. This planetary placing has been said to produce more originality and unconventional flair than any other. You are easily bored with routine and are a bit erratic when it comes to your personal life and how to live it. After all, there are so many options, and aren't they all worth a try? In relationships, you enjoy experimentation, and lots of spontaneous activity! You offer excitement and variety to your relationships and are happiest when you and your partner are friends as well as lovers.

Love sign: Aries
Those of you with natal Venus in Aries could be visualized as Cupid with a bow, rising to glorified heights and releasing an arrow aimed at a specific target of your choice. Energetic, youthful and direct, lovers with Venus in Aries will not demurely wait for anything. You are active and forthright, no stranger to competition. Those with this placement contain the impatience and daring of a truly alive, free-thinking, variety-seeking adolescent, discovering for the first time the indescribable bliss and inspiration of love with a capital L. Your emotions are changeable, fiery and perhaps a bit on the explosive side. Although you will probably attract a number of people to you with your energetic and super-active lifestyle, beware of your less exciting tendencies. Your self-centeredness (which can border on total self absorption) may leave your pursuits wondering if there is room for two in this affair. Remembering that others may not see things they same way you do will enable you to keep the fires scorching! You will be happiest in a relationship that allows you to be true to yourself.

Soul-mate sign: Juno is in Sagittarius
It is vital that your partner can keep up with you. Juno-Sagittarius is so dynamic, so filled with energy, enthusiasm and drive that she can intimidate those who can't match her strength and courage. You crave variety so you're likely to be slow to settle down but once you decide on a partner you are more than happy to be tied down as long as your bonds aren't too tight. You need independence and freedom, and a partner who is secure enough to allow you to spend time on your own and perhaps to have friends and experiences outside the relationship. Clingy or dependent partners will soon drive you to leave; instead you need a partner whose zeal for life matches your own. Your partner must be willing to join you in your ambitious schemes and to explore uncharted territories with you. However, any hint of fickleness, infidelity or unkindness will turn you right off. It's important that your partner have a life of their own but someone who uses their independence to hurt you is not for you.

Preferences for Aries:
Books:
The rushing Ram will want a quick and entertaining read that will give them a rush of adrenaline. Short stories and thrillers suit the turbo-charged Aries. Favorite books could include Edgar Allen Poe's stories, and some of Stephen King's shorter works.
Career:
Ambulance driver, Barber, Bell-hop, Butcher, Coach, Computer or video game designer, Courier, Dentist, Director, EMT, Entertainer, Entrepreneur, Fire fighter, Hairdresser, Jockey, Landlord, Lawyer, Make-up artist, Metal worker, Military officer, Neurologist, Optometrist, Producer, Police officer, Public relations executive, Sales person, Sportsperson, Stagehand, Stock broker, Stunt person, Valet
Chocolates:
Eats all of the chocolates in one sitting.
Food:
Aries likes variety -- so serve a bunch of appetizers. Fire Signs want their food to be hot and spicy. The Ram hates bland things and likes to spice up their meals with basil, cinnamon and curry. When cooking for an Aries, remember: The redder, the better.
Movies:
The fiery Ram likes to be scared, perhaps so they can claim they weren't, but that everyone around them was. Favorite films might include The Sixth Sense or adrenaline-pumping Arnold Schwarzenegger bicep blockbusters like The Terminator, or maybe the physical comedy of Jackie Chan.
Music:
First in everything, the Ram listens to the cutting edge. You listened to Metallica back when their hair was long and Nirvana when they were just some garage band from Seattle. Sleater-Kinney or Rage Against the Machine have found their way to your CD changer. Your type of music causes your parents to cover their ears
Restaurants:
Always on the go and ready to rush off to the next big thing, the Ram will most likely grab some fast food en route. When dining in a restaurant, try a variety of appetizers, which will suit your investigative nature.
Sports:
The robust Ram puts their athletic and energetic energy to use in activities like sprinting, high impact aerobics or Tae-Bo.
Travel:
Argentina, Cambodia, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Ireland, Luxembourg, San Francisco, Spain
Television:
Aries may find that watching extreme sports competitions are right up their alley. You can't miss with the hardcore aspects of Monday Night Football, the powerful action of the hockey rink and the intense jabs of boxing when trapped for an evening of television.

Vesta sign for V: Sexuality sign Vesta is in Gemini
Vesta in Gemini is the most intellectual of all the signs, so it's no surprise that with Vesta's influence the Vesta-Gemini link-up makes you a powerful intellect and the sharpest crayon in the box. Knowledge is power to you, and you want all the information you can get on just about any subject. You're a dynamo at work and in your personal life, and others look to your sharp, incisive intellect for answers and reassurance. You are the sort of person who always has the missing piece to the puzzle or the important bit of information which makes a difference. Study and research are your tools as you continue to sharpen your keen intelligence, and with a bit of work you'll find you're unbeatable. You can get what you want through networking, making every effort to gain knowledge and by sharing your valuable information with others, who'll give you brownie points and goodies for your insight and knowledge. If you don't network and share, you may find that you lose confidence in your intellect and doubt your own power. Sharing sexually is also important, though you'll find that you can't connect physically with anyone you don't connect with mentally.

Pallas sign for V: Warrior sign Pallas is in Scorpio
What a powerhouse you are, Pallas-Scorpio! Scorpio is the natural general of the Zodiac, and with Pallas' warrior influence you're almost unbeatable. When these two influences meet you have a woman who is powerful, penetrating, perceptive, strategic and probing. Those who oppose you will feel your deadly sting for quite a while after they've already given up. Not only do you have the courage to begin and win battles, you're cunning enough to mount sneak attacks. Your enemies never quite know where you're coming from or which angle you're take, and they're not likely to get leaked information from those in on your plans -- because no one's in on your plans! You take a close-mouthed stance and keep your intentions private, vowing to see your battles through to the bitter end. You make an excellent leader as long as you have soldiers following your charges, and you're likely to win every battle you fight.

Healing sign: Chiron in Aries
If Chiron falls in Aries in your chart, you bear a pain inflicted upon your sense of self. This Chironic placement makes for a person who can wallow in self-pity over wounds, which can be physical, mental or psychic, self-inflicted, inherited or accidental. At the heart of Aries' influence are the ways in which you attain fulfillment with who you are on the inside and out. With Chiron in Aries, you can't help others because you can't see that you're not at peace with yourself. Instead of floundering in doubt, punishing yourself for who you aren't, Chiron in Aries encourages you to embrace who you are. By celebrating your strengths, you gain peace of mind and an opportunity to reach out to others going through similar pain. Healing yourself opens you (and your wound) up to the world, giving you a chance to give back what you've learned from your pain. Give your time to causes dealing with self-esteem or appearance issues -- especially with children and adolescents -- like eating disorders, self-mutilation or any behaviors that people inflict upon themselves out of self-loathing.

Power sign: Libra
The focus of Libra is on relationships. Many babies are born when Pluto is in Libra as a result of their parents making efforts to improve and revitalize their relationships. These children grow up watching their parent's relationships either thrive or fail completely. This generation, however, is determined to make all of their partnerships work out. They watch what has worked for previous generations and incorporate it into their own lives, and they see what has failed in the past and try to make working changes. Some of those born while Pluto was in Libra might cast aside the idea of formal marriage in favor of more unconventional approaches to unity. Others, however, may decide that the free-form approach does not work and choose to rely on the more conservative elements that worked for marriage in earlier generations.

Mothering Sign: Ceres is in Sagittarius
The ways in which you nurture yourself will seem odd and perhaps even exhausting to the other signs -- you wish for excitement, variety and physical activity for your relaxed moments. Lazing on the sofa or taking a bubble bath would only bore you; the Ceres-Sagittarius woman needs both intellectual and physical stimulation. You indulge yourself with long walks or down time at the gym, or perhaps by taking classes or attending lectures which broaden your understanding of different cultures and ways of doing things. You'd be wise to take night classes on subjects which are far-removed from your everyday life, or travel may be the way to enhance your experience and understanding. A Ceres-Sagittarius who doesn't reach out to educate herself will find herself bored to tears and looking for sustenance in all the wrong places. You are also put off by the touchy-feely sympathy and nurturing that some signs offer; that way of nurturing others is most definitely not for you. Instead, you are a teacher and a leader; helping others broaden their horizons and increase their scope. Those who can keep up with you will look to your for inspiration and a boost.

Rebellious sign: Libra
Libra is the Sign of Partnership. When Uranus moves into this Sign, there are going to be some changes in the way people interact, especially with regards to love relationships. Your generation has probably taken a good look at the divorce rate of their parent's generation and decided that something needed to change. You might find yourself marrying early in life, or late in life, or not marrying at all. Inconsistent experiences could make you skittish about relationships and indecisive about your sexuality in general. If you want to settle down, look for a relationship that will offer you plenty of freedom to be yourself and try new things. It is possible that your partnerships will never be typical, but they will occur on your own terms.


Spiritual Sign: Neptune is in Sagittarius
You are part of a 14 year group of people that are extremely idealistic and farsighted in their dreams. Your age group is very liberal and expansive in outlook, and consequently churches become much more flexible and more eclectic in their approach during your life time. Religions that do not adapt to the broad-minded attitude of your age group simply are unable to attract very much interest and involvement from you. A great deal of metaphysical musing and speculation is evident in your age group, and there is a very strong interest in all manner of psychic phenomena, UFO's, prophecy, etc. This interest will open many new doors and insights, but will also often lead to a great deal of fantasizing and speculation that is taken more seriously than it should be.

Ok... now, I FEEL naked! LOL I must also say that the reports are VERY accurate (the only slide was on the TV preferences... I HATE football! But hey, nothing is perfect!

I also learned that I have many influences from Libra and Gemini... So I finally have an answer to the why's of my life. :P

Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.

- William A. Ward

TGIF... Mean it in bright bold letters. I am emotionally drained, physically tired and mentally challenged. I feel as a big amorphous blob that moves from one place to the other engulfing everything at its path, so everything stays within making it bigger and more terrible. I feel hazardous and beaten... maybe even a bit radioactive at this time. I'm still musing on the matter of the class, still outraged, still hurt about it. And work has left me in empty today... I have absolutely nothing more to give for this last half hour... Just sitting here, looking pretty. ;) There are 2 assignments I'll try to get done tonight... I have been thinking of quitting this whole AIO thing... Look for getting rid off my constant tired state... Getting sleep and playing dungeons 5 times a week. I feel the magic is gone. I wont make any decisions until Spring Break is over, for the summer session, though... I know that making big decisions when you are mad is never clever. I have been playing with the idea of perhaps just going for the fucking International Business Doctorate. That's what I should've done instead of doing this... start over... allowing people to step over you when you know what you are... I'm not 17 anymore. I don't know yet... I am tempted... I still have many plans that links everything to my life's road and the plan B and C are included. I have plans for everything. I will just give one last try, and see if things are worth it... The no sleep, the giving more than 100%... I am running for Masochist of the Year, perhaps?

Tonight will be a long night...

Want to squeeze The Matrix... Maybe... I don't know... I feel so depressed... When will a meteor hit me?

I am upset... No, upset is a kind word that cannot describe the outrage that I feel right now. Upset does not really make you visualize screams of bloodthirst, anger, and berserking rage! I got a nice little email from the proffesor of the class that I am taking now, Digital Manipulation, accusing me of plagerism on a report about a digital artist biography... ??? Ok... what do you put on biographies? What you get on any information resource that after quoting you kindly list as a source for the info... I always do that. I wrote a complete paragraph on why I chose the artist, essay-like... mine, my own... I checked 3 sites and from them made a complete bio... And I plagiated... Yeah, 5 hours plagiating... I asked one of my peers to check it up and tell me what she thought about it... And what I expected, a big "why he would state such a thing?" Aha! Give me the drum-music... The spotlight... The intrigued public... I don't know what his problem is, except that I have better education than he, and that I answer every one of my peers with useful information not useless blunt "Late and not enough information" remarks (which are very un-teacher like and very un-proffessional). I always have a luck for being kicked. Yeah, the Kick me tag is a big badass sign in bright neon colors that show fireworks every 2 seconds. The sign also depicts a small graphic of an island and then shouts "Puerto Rico"so if someone with a pea-brain hates Puertoricans, well, maybe that someone can have fun with me?



I am outraged. I feel that no matter how much effort I put into things, with goodwill and good intentions, things blow in my face. I hope the AIO staff reviews all my work, and shove it up his ass. I REALLY hope so. And if they take his side and expell me for doing a stupid assignment as he expected and properly done, they'll hear from me... legally. I am so tired of people trying to step all over me... I am so tired of being branded as something I am not, just because people get envious or jealous of me and of what I do... I would just quit the program thanks to him. That's how I honestly feel. But that would give him a right... I hate having to prove some points to people, but I am gonna whip ass. HELL YEAH!!!

So... I do not feel better after saying all this. I hate when I am pushed towards my twin sister's evil side... But I know it's right... Only the good die young... And this is just another proof of the simple fact that you cannot be good in this world because noone will know the difference.

I am so dissapointed...

I am so discouraged...

I am so tired...

V for vendetta, victory and vex. FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY!!!

10-4

Ok, so officially I need 72 hr days. Just one day is NOT enough. Yesterday went to the Seminar thingue... My workmates left at midday, leaving me alone until the damn thing was over (Yes, I am so square I actually feel bad if I just do that VERY IRRESPONSIBLE thing). By 4:30 I was breaking apart. Had to run to get coffee so I woke up. Oh, got to visit Plaza Carolina... Wow. Things HAVE changed, for the better... Ah, the new... ok... the only Goth capital of PR... LOL

The highlight of the day, got to FINALLY see the Angry one after all... What can I say? A delightful evening. Always going beyond my expectations. The whole crappy day had to end well. ( Thanks for a great time, my precious! ) :P

Tried seeing Coriolis, the operated one... but he was walking at Plaza... ( Hey, YOU are suppossed to be in bed!!! ) So, I kinda missed him. Got home early enough to post my assignments and sleep a bit. The cats are behaving and Groundel is getting a full time for the summer. (Congratulations on your new tasks, I know people do not give you enough credit for your dedication at work. And you deserve it. Cheers!).

Went today to the chiropractor. He prescribed 10 therapies... Starting June. :D Then had to go to el Fondo to get some paperwork... Only 2 tellers and the place was packed... It was a long, long wait. Got to my office at 2:45pm... Should''ve gone home... Ah, you know the story, square, square, square... :D

My arm is not good, but at least it is getting its deserved attention. And I feel at least contempt with how things are going... Work is slowly falling into its right place, as well as everything else. The old recipe... Time... Patience... More time... And if all else fails, THE HELL WITH IT!

The chainsaw thinguie is still on... Oh! Today was a f&$%^&* day. Things in Aguadilla could go so smoothly IF ONLY PEOPLE WOULD BACK OFF! I just HATE trying to maximize my time doing the expected multitasking when I have to watch over the "children" who... oooppps... cannot keep their hands off the pc... while it runs a setup... GRRRR It makes me so, so MAD! By 12 pm I had this humongous headache enough to send Bin Laden to Jupiter. I kinda HAD to get off Aguadilla at 12, but since I had not finished, I stayed until 2:00... So, basicalle hid and ran away with people following me, begging for attention. No one is ever satisfyed, not even when you say you will come back... Ah! And I just step on the elevator to reach my office at Mayaguez and there's a blackout. I should have left... but no, I am a goody goody so I went to my office anyway... So I am forced to stay until 4:30 with the hellish pain in my neck-arm... Ohhh! Someone WILL get my Evil Eye! Gotta pass this karma on!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok... This week is NOT starting fine. If things keep up I'm gonna cut my arm with a chainsaw. Today I must go at 12 to do a CT Scan... On Thursday I have a nice appointment with the doctor... and I must attend a training at SanJuan on Wednesday. I wish I had a Jetson's plane so I could just do some voice-activation and zoooooom, there I go... But no... Crappy thing... Seems I must also drop by SanGermán during the morning to solve a small problem. How can I get better if I can't stop driving? To be or not to be, THAT is the question...

This weekend I tried to be computer-less. I cannot write too much in the keyboard without thinking of the stars... if you know what I mean...

So... Saturday was a completely sucky day. The weather was gloomy, I was in no mood to talk to anyone, Alex and Sara tried to reach me but to no success... The highlight of the day was that while I was in my aunt's house Trilogy appeared. That was a what the F$%^#. His grandfather is in the hospital and he is now in charge of doing things in the house... How cool, my condolescences to the people in the household... :P I hope nothing bad happens, if the guy dies that will be a testament-haste and kaboom in theat family... No one appears to take care of the old man, except Trilogy... but everyone will appear for the inheritance when he dies... Such is life... Trilogy is obviously upset, but I could not even try giving him a big hug... although I knew he needed it... Still it was nice of him to pass by... Whenever he has Times of Trouble I'm there... A/W, Trilogy also wanted to invite Groundel and me to a new game group that he is gathering... Spelljammer/Greyhawk. That would be nice, its been 2 months since the last game I played with Groundel... I would use Deirdre (Anti-Paladin of Kali & Warmage) and Amlurith (Spellsinger of Eilistraee). Since I was in a communication gap I didn't really speak of anything else. I tried going to see el Calvo but turned back in the middle of the way. I was too drained to attempt more driving, and my arm was killing me. Did the long assignment of the day, amen. Ah, I still remember Marketing stuff, GOOD! And, just before midnight, got the chance to make peace with a beloved friend. So, mood shift to contempt.

On Sunday I was definitively in better mood, and although I kinda sleep until 2:00pm I managed to go do some of the many things in my list. Ran into Lucinda at the Mall. She was on the verge of crying. Seems Eintein said something to his grandma and she went away, leaving her with Barbie and Einstein stranded at the Mall... I told her she could tag along if she wanted... The next thing I knew was that she vanished in the middle of a crowd. ??? Whatever! At least I had the chance to give her a sample of the hair conditioner I told her about... Anything so she grows back her long mane, after all, THAT is the base of our friendship! :D Couldn't watch Andromeda yesterday... My aunts house was too hot and I was kinda melting... So I went home, finally... Then Trilogy appears with his computer, which inmediately made me give him the Evil Eye. I HATE DOING TECHIE STUFF AT HOME! I think I'm gonna put up a sign in my door... DAMNIT! So I tried checking it, but thekeyboard he gave me was not working and the pc would not acknowledge my monitor (now THAT was weird)... so he went away with no fixed pc. I did not make a big effort since Lucinda's pc is still there, watching at me angrily because I have not fixed it... I need to be in the right mood... And that's like an eclipse sighting! :P

Groundel seems to be getting along just fine with Trilogy... Ah, the love-hate relationship they have is so beautiful... I guess that Dungeons can try balancing our whole relation, it would be nice if all of us could hang out as we used to years ago... Without the stupid mind of whom I belong to... I know Jealousy is a strong thing... Neither Trilogy nor Groundel can handle it for long periods of time.

Ah! Sunday was also a special day. It was the birthday of the Angry Vindictive one. :) Getting older and better! ;) Just like wine.

Also, Coriolis called me and Alas! He found me! Gosh, he got an operation on Friday... I thought that the pain had been nothing... Sorry for not calling back ASAP! Hope u get well soon!

Ok, this has nothing to do with anything, but wow, Sean Connery is the epitome of ageless... He reached the age he wanted to reach, looking as great as he can, and casted a Permanency spell on himself... Talk about perfection!

10-4

This one for you, Angry Vindictive one.

HYBRID
It's a hybrid of me-I'm a hybrid of he
You're a misfit of me-I'm a misfit of you ...in limbo
Carbon copies run blue-a reminder for you but they're only skin deep crumpled shells in a heap Marked cheap
Surrogate heads of a no-no domain
shoulders form rows to make waves again Catch the next train
When you walked through that door marked "enter if you dare" Reasoned with a friend marked "do not bend" bit on that finger marked "handle with care"
a tear soiled your cheek-a broken finger on the floor a mess in sawdust-a shop window burst..no repairs
it's a hybrid of me-I'm a hybrid of he
You're a misfit for me-I'm a misfit for you in limbo.....do you speak the lingo?
-Siouxie & the Banshees

So, today I did a mayor screw up, which hurt badly someone I cared for too much... Being the careless thoughtless bitch I am, this one has been master of disasters. I did not realize I had such an impact... I try but cannot trust so fast. Still, I did thought of you as a close friend, since I bared my soul to you easily, as if I have known you for years. From some words I can feel Hell sent towards me, and I don't deny I deserve it for lack of belief... or just becoming scared? Who knows... I don't. I just feel choked. I lost a great friend today.
So, closing the day, this Lullaby for you... Hoping it can sooze your soul in a way... If such a thing can be accomplished.

Lullaby

The lunacy will leave the day
Luminous in flight
As the moon spits out
In jagged beams another night
Wrap around this brilliant veil
Tranquil and unbroken
As you spiral down
A world of clay and taut convulsion
The dream swan spins
And cartwheel turns
Down deep within your violet side
The sun begins to rise
Skaing down its morining swords to thaw your frozen eyes
The dream swan spins
And so conceal the heart that aches and yearns
Hush awhile
Sleepless child
I'll be watching over you
-Siouxie & the Banshees

I'll be watching. I keep my promises.

This one looks like Trilogy... So, caught in the mood, this is for you...

"To Have And Not To Hold"

To have and not to hold
So hot, yet so cold
My heart is in your hand
And yet you never stand
Close enough for me to have my way

To love but not to keep
To laugh, not to weep
Your eyes, they go right through
And yet you never do
Anything to make me want to stay

[Chorus:]
Like a moth to a flame
Only I am to blame
Ba ba da ba ba ba
What can I do?
Ba ba da ba ba ba
I go straight to you
Ba ba da ba ba ba
I've been told
You're to have, not to hold

To look but not to see
To kiss but never be
The object of your desire
I'm walking on a wire
And there's no one at all
To break my fall

[chorus]

You're to have, not to hold
You're to have, not to hold

[chorus]

You're to have, not to hold
You're to have, not to hold
You're to have, not to hold

To break my heart

-Madonna

An old one that is almost like my personal anthem... ;)

"Bitch"

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

[Chorus:]
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

[Chorus]

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

[Chorus]

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

-Meredith Brooks

A though about being a prize: "Just standing here, looking pretty."
The animation of that Humpback of Notradame 2 movie sucked, but I really liked the feminist story. Perhaps it can show some light to some people... Men and women alike...
Just a thought...

Talk about long, loooong weeks! I am glad this is FINALLY over. I arrived last night completely beaten. Did all assignments in a rush and went to sleep... wanted to stay at home today, I feel so tired! But, trying not to miss my duties at work...

I got so upset yesterday... People are just so so crappy! I've got to the big conclusion that I need to be a model so I am taken seriously. Yup, that's right. I say I am not feeling well, I have no one being compassionate to me. I was feeling dizzy, I needed to eat something, and my arm and neck were hurting badly... No one cared. One of my workmates, someone who actually doesn't do much, kept complaining the whole conference that her arm was hurting, and everyone was paying attention to her and even offering help. But hey, I am not flirty and I am not thin and I was not wearing anything showing my complete cleavage... Sooooo... Even one of my dear teammates said "You better not fall because you'll stay in the floor". Nice joke. Very thoughtful... So I stayed quiet thinking "Qué cojones".

It doesn't matter how much you are good to your workmates, or how much you give at work, there always comes the issue of an implicit "you are not the standard beauty that we praise, so get off my face..." Also, since I am big and fat that means I am strong and can do everything and more, so If I don't go and do my "job" is because I don't want to. My male workmates are not ready to offer help to me. The only help I get comes from the drivers at Aguadilla and Mayaguez... They are the only ones with a conscience, I guess... So, I felt even worse by the attitude my workmates give me... It's a matter of being appreciated... Only 3 people appreciate me in the department, the secretary (a femme), one of the technicians (the older one), and one of the programmers (another femme). Everyone else just kept backstab after backstab... and based on lies or superficial things. One of the girls always mind me because I don't drink beer or talk as if I were on the street. That's so stupid! Especially since you are supposed to be a professional... you are working in an office, not at the local bar. And then comes the issue that I'm always in black. Ah, well... if you actually saw me everyday you would know I don't wear black all the time... sad but true :P And then comes the issue of my hair... Ah! If my boss doesn't mind, I care even less what anyone else thinks... Just wait until I dye my hair in violet. TSK TSK. And last but not least, my workmates are mad at me because I have an MBA and YEARS of experience... Can you believe that? I am the big competition; I am the enemy... They try to throw mud at me but I won't get stained... That's such an unhealthy attitude and environment, especially when you should do teamwork to succeed... It gets me angry. It gets me moody. It makes me want to quit. I know eventually I will, I cannot get stuck on this shit... not even if it can get comfortable...

Ah, the "I'm not a model" issue is quite a sensation... LOL It is annoying to watch men drooling over the secretaries, and it is worst to watch how girls that actually don't even know their jobs get permanency and get everything they ask just because they show all their attributes without much care but with all intention. Ok, so that's what you do when you have no other assets, I guess... For them I am the black sheep... If I wanted to I could be a very sexy bitch. Damnit, I am after work hours. But at work I believe there should be a respect and a professional environment... Being friends with workmates seem to hinder that... People do not understand that friendship is one thing, business another. I can be your best friend, but I won't cover you at work or lie for you. I believe people should shine by their own light, period.

Bottomline, I don't care what they think about me. It does hurt that I do give and care for even the ones that backstab me, but I can take it. One day they will learn. I know who I am and what I am and so, I need not prove anything to anyone. My standards for beauty go deeper than theirs, and even then I know I could be a nice Goth model. If I wanted to, there's plenty I could show off, but I rather do private sessions. ;) I am a goddess, very much in love with myself, thank you!
It just sucks that you get alienated for not following the rules of society.

As Coriolis used to sing... "It sucks to be youuuuuuu". :P

ODE to the Ghost of the Past

Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.

As Phoenix reaches the sky, and Moth burns closing to fire
You build on an empire of dust and mists in reply…
No more shall you conquer the weak!
No more shall you destroy the faith!
Go ahead and rot in your will as by force you are turned away!

Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.

Go back to change, cleanse yourself from all guilt,
From all pain and deceit You shall come back avenged.
No longer the Executioner, No longer the Judge…
No longer the Keeper…
Thinned is your blood!

Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.

Thy legacy shall live on in lore and fairy, and bardic tales
Thy foolishy might will beat in drums
As memories fill your grave.
Alas! Thy shadows will be whole!
Alas! Thrill in darkness despaired!
Alas! Melt both flesh and bone…
Then not even the ashes will remain

Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.

-Kymill the Bard of the Planes

Ok... so... went to F@#$%^&* Villalba... Had to stop in Ponce to ask for directions since I kinda had a mind slip and confuse Villalba with Adjuntas and kinda headed that way... It was a bit anoyying. I had NEVER went to Villalba and feared getting lost, plus had an almost empty tank of gas... the car, children, the car! :P So, reached the place, changed the modem, realized what the problem REALLY was... the two people expected to share a phone line at the same time SO one of them wouldn't work...DUH! Went back just in time to get to my CFSE appointment with the doctor... No more physical therapy, now I'll start chiropractic therapy... Sounds painful? LOL So, the bottom of that is that my trapecious muscle is affected, for life. It will ALWAYS hurt and I can just try to make it hurt less... How nice. Consequences of that: neck pain, right arm pain, right hand pain... I should not lift anything heavy and should try not to drive too much... Jajaja... Good one... I must drive, so that's a catch. Had to go see my aunt and get my digi cam since I left it there 2 days ago... Watched Braceface, the cartoons thank you. And made it home to feed 4 hungry kitties who almost nailed me to the door, trying to rip my skin so they could satisfy their hunger... Now I'm trying to see how I pose... for my final project... nude project, thank you very much... Procrastinating! Oh, when inspiration just wont strike...
Nothing else of interest... Seen noone... Oh... yes I did see someone... By turn of fate Lucinda was at the same McD I went for lunch... LOL That was a quickie, though :)

This week seems overloaded... Tomorrow I'll head to Villalba in the morning and got an appointment with the doctor at the CFSE. Then on Wednesday must go to Aguadilla... On Thursday must go to SanJuan to a conference on government webdesign... Got a full body self-portrait for Thursday and assignments for everyday on my new class... So... Hopefully tonight I can start (or even finish) the drawing final project and give quick answers to today's questions. :) I NEED to sleep...

I am so tired! I feel so drained! I have this mixed feeling of happy-sad-neutral... Some things are looking up, but others I just don't know... I seem to have digged on some issues I had forgotten and that is a bit unsettling. Just like the Xena episode in which Gabby tells Xena that she looks fine now, and Xena replies: "See the lake's surface? That's me before what happenned... Calm and still... "
Then Xena throws a rock in the lake... She adds "See what happened? It shook everything, the water ripples, unsettled..."
Then Gabby says "Ah, but if you wait long enough you'll se the water gets calmed again, still... as it was before".
And Xena replies: "Yes, it all may look as before, but the rock is in the bottom of the lake... The lake has changed forever. It will never be the same."

And that's just how I feel right now...

Ah! I have no time to be sad. When I am sad I just get careless and nothing matters. It is a good thing to have so many things to do... No time to think too much. No time for self-punishment... No time to question some big why's in life... Everything has a purpose. Every rock that falls in the lake had a purpose... Some say change is good. I say change tests character. In the worst of times I developed courage as I never thought possible, and I was alone. I can baffle myself sometimes...

Change.

Blood may fill my river, but that is not a bad thing at all... for blood is rich and warm, and has the secrets for life.

Dont you ever get in one of those moods in which you just want to bother everyone around you? Jejejejeh

Why? Why not?

YOU KNOW YOU GREW UP IN THE 1980'S IF......

> > 1.You ever ended your sentence with "psych"
> > 2.You solved the Rubics cube.....by peeling off the stickers
> > 3.You watched the pound puppies
> > 4.You can sing the rap to "the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
> > 5.You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish
> > 6.You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start
>a club of your own.
> > 7.You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls
> > 8.You know that 'Whoa' comes from Joey on "Blossom"
> > 9.Three words: M.C. Hammer
> > 10.You thought it would be great to have a friend named, "Boner"
> > 11.You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales"
> > 12.If you played the chipmunks Christmas album all year long!
> > 13.Remember reading Kool-Aid man comics
> > 14.You ever watched Fraggle Rock
> > 15.You had plastic streamers on the handle bars of your bike
> > 16.You remember When it was actually worth getting up early on a
Saturday to watch cartoons
> > 17.You wore a pony tail to the side of your head
> > 18.You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen
> > 19.You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class
>at school [this one is my favorite. I didn't think anyone knew. Oregon
trail with the computers that have a green screen
> > 20.You made your mom buy you one of those clips that would hold your
shirt in a knot on the side
> > 21.You had a Kirk Cameron poster on your bedroom wall
> > 22.You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House) with
friends at school
> > 23.You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it
> > 24. L.A. GEAR
> > 25.Your mother wouldn't let you have garbage pail kids
> > 26.You wanted to change your name to Jem in Kindergarten
> > 27.You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the
Ramona books
> > 28.You know the profound meaning of "Wax on,Wax off"
> > 29.You wanted to be a Goonie
> > 30.You ever wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing
> > 31.You wanted to be on StarSearch
> > 32.You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose
fell off
> > 33.You took Lunch pales to school
> > 34. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf
> > 35.You remember the craze, and then banning of slap bracelets
> > 36. You still get the urge to use "NOT" at the end of every statement
you make
> > 37.You remember Hypercolor T-shirts
> > 38.Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
> > 39.You remember Punky Brewster
> > 40.You loved Howard the Duck
> > 41.You thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up
> > 42.You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you
exchanged "friendship bracelets"
> > 43.You ever owned a pair of Jelly Shoes
> > 44.After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you couldn't stop saying "I
>know you are but what am I?"
> > 45.You remember "I've fallen...and I can't get up!"
> > 46.You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline
skates
> > 47. You ever got seriously injured on a slip and slide
> > 48.You know not to mix poprocks and soda (but did it anyway!)
> > 49. You have played with a 'skip-it'
> > 50. You had or went to a birthday party at McDonald's
> > 51. You learned oldies songs by watching Alvin and the Chipmunks
> > 52.You had a Glow Worm or watched the cartoons
> > 53.You remember dancing along with the Bangles in "Walk Like An
Egyptian"
> > 54. If you remember Heathcliff the orange cat
> > 55.You saw the California Raisins Christmas claymation special
> > 56.You've gone through this list occasionally saying "That wasn't from
the 80's."
> > 57.You remember Popples
> > 58.DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!
> > 59.You wore socks over tights with high-top Reeboks
> > 60.You wore like 8 pairs of socks at once, scrunched down
> > 61.MISS MARY MACK MACK MACK ALL DRESSED IN BLACK BLACK BLACK.....
> > 62.You remember boom boxes instead of CD players
> > 63.You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies
> > 64.You remember the Transformers
> > 65.You know what it meant to say "care bear stare!!" and you had a
favorite
> > 66.You remember Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales
> > 67.You remember watching TV thinking Doogie Howser was hot!
> > 68.You remember Alf, the little furry brown alien from Melmac
> > 69.You remember the large amounts of hairspray used
> > 70.You remember those very stylish headbands
> > 80.You remember Vicky the Robot
> > 81.You remember Eve Garland from Out of this World and how she could
stop time by pressing the tips of her index fingers together and talking to
her dad through a glowing cube in her bedroom
> > 82.You remember the beginning of New Kids on the Block
> > 83.You remember watching The Cosby show
> > 84.You remember Mr.Belvedere
> > 85.You remember Michael J. Fox in Family Ties and Back to the Future
> > 86.You know all the names of the gang from "Saved by the Bell"
> > 87.You know all the words to Bon Jovi's "shot through the heart" song
> > 88. You had a pair of USED Jeans and loved Cross Colors
> > 89. You had a Tripple Fat Goose
> > 90. The Starter Jacket was the Joint.
> > 91. Duck Hunt on Nintendo was the joint
> > 92. Nintendo period.
> > 93.You had to have every color Etonics ( blue, green, white, purple,
red, etc etc.
> > 94. You thought a dude was cute only if he had a ratail.
> > 95 .Pass this on to anyone you know grew up in the 1980's

Mothers Day! Congrats to good mothers, bad mothers and the like...

Today the day was way long, way busy, way yucky, way boring... I had to do 4 drawings for my sketching class (skulls and self portrait). From 12pm to 5 pm working on that... Only one drawing left to do... A full body self portrait for Thursday. 8 hours... That should be something... Will start tomorrow. Ah, my digital imaging class started today as well. Three people that I know, so far: Dave, Christina and Jamie. Sadly neither Dani or Sarah are taking the class (I think they already did). Seems this class should be more... fun.

MrFlach got a printer and could print out some of my work. That's way cool. No more empty walls on your apartment, pal! :) But do not fear, I WILL make something decent, in colors ok? Just gimme time... Time... TIME!!!

Yesterday visited El Calvo, with Lucinda and Einstein and Barbie... Everything was ok, but then el Calvo started talking about a fatal accident he saw while going home... Bad move... Same accident where Francisco died... Lucinda was in tears... It was very sad and ackward...

The Angry-Vindictive one has been apologizing, for speaking his mind? Do not apologize for saying something you mean even if it turns out bad. I would never apologize for speaking my mind, ok? Someone doesn't like it, screw them. Do not worry about anything else.It takes more than one different point of view to upset me forever. Conflict is an Arien haven. It is the food for Ares Avatars. It is an asset of gods of chaos. :)

Groundel has been playing and playing and playing and playing... Predictability in human form?

Trilogy is missing in action, week one in progress. The usual.

Ok?

Ah, Lucinda called me twice in the morning, waking me up both times, thank you! AHHHHH It’s Saturday… The sacred day for sleep… so WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!!! Ok, I know, I know she’s sad about the boy who died… Heck, that made me sad too… I knew him. But God has some strange ways… Everything that happens is for the better.

Yesterday had the pleasure to meet the Angy Vindictive one. He made me laugh a lot. Way cool. :P

Now, someone said I might be wasting my youth… Wasted Youth?

Wasted youth! Wasted youth!
I remember everything!
I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday
I was barely seventeen, and I once killed a boy with a Fender guitar
I don't remember if it was a telecaster or a stradacaster
But I do remember that it had a heart of chrome and a voice like a horny angel
I don't remember if it was a telecaster or a stradacaster
But I do remember that it wasn't at all easy
It required the perfect combination of the right power chords
And the precise angle from which to strike!
The guitar bled for about a week afterward
and the blood was sough dark and rich, like wild berries
The blood of the guitar was Chuck Berry red
The guitar bled for about a week afterward, but it rung out beautifully
And I was able to play notes that I had never even heard before
So I took my guitar, and I smashed it against the wall
I smashed it against the floor
I smashed it against the body of a varsity cheerleader
Smashed it against the hood of a car
Smashed it against a 1981 Harley Davidson
The Harley howled in pain, the guitar howled in heat
And I ran up the stairs to my parents' bedroom
Mummy and daddy were sleeping in the moonlight
Slowly I opened the door, creeping in the shadows
Right up to the foot of their bed
I raised the guitar high above my head
And just as I was about to bring the guitar crashing down
Upon the center of the bed, my father woke up, screaming "Stop!"
"Wait a minute! Stop it boy! What do ya think you're doin'?
That's no way to treat an expensive musical instrument!"
And I said: "God dammit daddy!
You know I love you But you got a hell of a lot to learn about rock 'n roll"

Hmmm… On the issue of wasted youth… Here's an old song that sums up my feelings about it… by Meatloaf, too…

It's all or nothing
and nothing's all I ever get
everytime I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out
It's always something
there's always something going wrong
that's the only guarantee
that's what this is all about
It's a never ending attack
everything's a lie and that's a fact
life is a lemon and I want my money back!
And all the morons
and all the stooges with their coins
they're the ones who make the rules
it's not a game--it's just a rout
There's desperation
there's desperation in the air
it leaves a stain on all your clothes
and no detergent gets it out
And we're always slipping through the cracks
then the movie's over--fade to black
life is a lemon and I want my money back!
I want my money back
I want my money back
What about love?
It's defective!
It's always breaking in half
What about sex?
It's defective!
It's never built to really last
What about family?
It's defective!
All the batteries are shot
What about friends?
They're defective!
All the parts are out of stock
What about hope?
It's defective!
It's corroded and decayed
What about faith?
It's defective!
It's tattered and it's frayed
What about your gods?
They're defective!
They forgot the warranty
What about your town?
It's defective!
It's a dead end street to me
What about your school?
It's defective!
It's a pack of useless lies
What about your work?
It's defective!
It's a crock and then you die
What about your childhood?
It's defective!
It's dead and buried in the past
What about your future?
It's defective!
And you can shove it up your ass!
I want my money back
I want my money back
It's all or nothing
and nothing's all I ever get
everytime I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out
It's a never ending attack
everything's a lie and that's a fact
life is a lemon and I want my money back!
And we're always slipping through the cracks
then the movie's over--fade to black
life is a lemon and I want my money back!
-Meatloaf: Life is a Lemon

Ah, old Meatloaf never fails to bring words to my mouth when I cannot express them the proper way! Actually, he is one of my favorites… The drama, the energy, the show, the truth… So… Wasted youth? The reply to that: Everything louder than anything else. I do so, I do so in so many ways in so many things I do in life… You know what they say: "Life's a virgin, if it were a bitch it would be easy." :D I do love. I love everything I am, everything I was, and everything I will be. Yes, I am in love with myself first, second and third. And from that comes the never-ending loving that I feel for those who have entered the pits inside my heart, a stronghold that has only one gate and no windows… Most people doubt I have a heart, but, alas, I could only wish I didn't so I would be logical and linear in my thoughts… Then I would be completely boring, though…

My friends, who belong to a very, VERY almost exclusive clan, know I would give my life for them. They call me the Paladin, because I fight for lost causes when everyone else looses hope. They call me Paladin because I am so stubborn in my righteousness, and I do admit that stubbornness may be my Achilles' heel… But it does come forth as an inspiration to their lives. My stubbornness and mad lawful-goodness have guided their paths and changed them for the better. That is enough reason for me to fight battles alone, for them. As I do this, I do for myself. All involves love, giving without expecting anything back… Giving for the sake of it… For the look of surprise or the smile or the tear or even the rage if I am not understood… So… I do love and give and enjoy life as the Paladin I am, as the goddess that is unreachable but that stands there at your side… as the truest friend you will ever meet through good and bad times. Wasting youth? I don't think so. Every second I think of the past is not lost, as it fuels inspiration and dreams. Some dreams can never be, but they are beautiful to watch. And inspiration is the food for action.

What is youth to the immortal? I have all the time to do what I want and to give all I can… At 80 years old I will be the same brat with weird-looking hair, and vampiric addictions… And I will be young, and smile at all the memories that I created for those I loved, friends and even strangers. So… wasting youth I relate to drinking, smoking, killing, drug using or dealing… That's not constructive, that's wasting. Now, looking for depth of emotions is NOT wasting youth. And I do look for that, even for simple friendship. I am emotions. I am not logical. I need the TRUE INSPIRATION to send a card, to make a call, to visit and even to just eat... and that is on simple friendship. Imagine more…Depth, ties that bind forever, insight, learning, truth, and trust… Closeness is not a physical thing, but an emotional state that you can achieve with true friends and that challenges all the tests of time. That is what I always want. That is what I always aim for. That is why I get so many disappointments in life… But the few achievements are enough to make me go on, against any odds… even if they do remain as memories.

Ah, see? I can be very emotional and also really angered sometimes… But this is something worth writing. I see I have changed much of my ways, but my core will always remain intact… and that gives me pride.

Now quoting the other godess in my life, Madonna:
"Nothing really matters
Love is what we need
Everything I give you
All come back to me"

So, I did made it to SanJuan. The road was tricky, endless sun on some parts but mainly heavy rain in the main trail. At least seems that the dark clouds are surrendering to the sun... Had a brief meeting with the Boss, and delivered old useless, pc stuff... I'm now waiting, to see what happens next... Bored as hell... Next week promises to be interesting, filled with work...
TGIF! And maybe I'll get to meet the angry, vindictive one. :P Don't know if I can reach Coriolis, he's always too busy on Fridays...
On a sad note, Francisco, Lucinda's neighbor, died yesterday on a car accident in Hormigueros... he was 14 years old... a potential genius in a brat body... he will be missed...

Looong day! Busting my head trying to figure out a configuration problem for nothing... I am so tired! Oh, tonight got plenty of drawings to complete... I won't aim at masterpieces just at getting things done. Too tired to do anything else... I need 2 cds and to get some stuff to SanJuan, so the odds are very high that I'll drop by tomorrow... Of course i am not going too early... Going at 9 so I get there by 11:30 or something... I must also browse some of the webdesigns they have done so far... Whatever... ;) Must go back to Mayaguez... Ahhhh, traveling, hate it... Yes, it all would be easier if only there were trains in here, around the friggin isle... But reality bites. :O

As the wind unfolds slowly,
The rhythm of its pace
Fills the darkness and the cave
With its steady and swift passing.

Knocking down the weary bridges,
Destroyed by the hurricane wrath
The enemies halt and tremble
As they acknowledge its path.

Defying fate, defying lore,
Defying the sage and logic
Bring on the gory destroyer
And entice me even more...

The wall of treacherous mists
Reveals the ancient nemesis...

I am, as I stand against all,
I was, as immortal I'm called.
I will be, forever,

Ongoing inspiration;
Ongoing reaper of souls.

Bring on your faith and your courage,
Face the wrath of the endless;
Feel the love of the mortal
By the shade of a stranger...

Not so stranger, not unknown...
As for centuries departed,
The split soul avenged...
Reunites, no longer shattered.

Feast the darkness on its own light,
Blend the blood to its own desire
Let the pact go on forever
And let the bond burn a pyre...

Flames dance, enthralled, in awe
The wind's fury unleashed, in love.

- Kymill Thann, the Bard of the Planes

Ok, so the activity is over... Amen. I smiled and changed colors...LOL It was nice, though a bit embarrassing... They gave a bio of my overall likes/dislikes/studies... and thanks for the work well done... And I got goodies! It is funny, I got a bracelet, a shirt and a purse that misteriously I had seen in the weekend (But didnt buy because I was kinda broke...) LOL Thank God I didnt! I liked everything but having to speak... all those stares... Yikes! But its over, and the breakfast-brunch was good. Now on with daily tasks...

Last night went to see Xmen2... Wow! It is allright, more than I expected, much better than the first movie. They played well with the core of the characters, and Nightcrawler... Ohhhs and ahhhs to Nightcrawler! My baby! I just loved the way his power was portayed... And Ororo seemed with much more personality than the 1st movie as well... The 3 seconds of Colossus was perfect, same as for Kitty Pryde. I hope to see them in the future Xmen3? LOL And the hint on Dark Phoenix? Way cool. :)

Someone is very very thoughtful... You know who you are... Thank you very much for everything.

I can’t be with you today…
But if you close your eyes and think;
I’ll be beside you in the kitchen
Standing by the sink.

I’ll be with you in the bedroom
Waiting quietly on your bed;
Just close your eyes and think of me,
Relive those memories in your head.

I’ll stand by you in the bathroom,
An unlikely place to meet;
I’ll smile at you so playfully
As I let you brush my teeth.

I’ll be your light in the darkness,
Shining steadily through and through;
You only have to watch it glow
To know I think of you.

I’ll be the music that you listen to,
I’ll be there in every song;
I’ll laugh with you and sing with you,
And comfort you when your day’s gone wrong.

I’ll be the wind that ruffles your hair,
I’ll be the warm embrace,
I’ll be the hand on your shoulder,
I’ll be the tender touch in your face.

I’ll be the clock gently tickling
Reminding you of the times
We’ve shut the rest of the world outside
We’re in our own world- yours and mine.

I’ll be the moon as it dances
On the water cold and still;
For I have loved you always
And I know I always will.

Though you may not see me physically
As you live your life today;
Just close your eyes and think of me
I will not be far away.

-Unknown author

Today has been a day filled with mixed feelings. Happy, sad, happy, angry, happy, mad... Ok, so that's nothing new... Tomorrow they will give me a recognition (?) at work, because of the techie's week... and since I am the only one in the site I am screwed... LOL I dislike the idea of standing in front of everyone, getting lectured at how skilled I am (which I already know)... I simply dislike everyone smiling when I know most are two-face... C'est La Vie... So... I'll try to be in "smile absentmindedly mode" tomorrow morning... I'll try to let the "leader" come out of the closet and possess me for a while... Hey, gotta use all of my personalities after all. :D
Got a call from Mr. Angry & Vindictive. :P That made my day. I'm so glad things seem to be working out for him! :)
Coriolis called as well, seems his secondary boss will get what she deserves... And Groundel is preparing for a long long laundry night... coming soon to a theater next to you... Lucinda is still on her vanishing act, sort of, but I know she will appear sooner or later (she always does). She's just too busy dealing with little Einstein and company. :)
Tonight... more drawings... Ok, so I wanted to draw again, but this is kinda... ridiculous? The class is anoying and I already know how to draw/paint... And now everyone expect top works from me, so I gotta push myself further... My right arm is not appreciating the effort... Neither is my neck... No pain, no gain... this is kinda... extreme? LOL Sooner or later my own blood will cover the paintings... aww... now THAT's true goth spirit... Hell, yeah!

“As the pieces of the broken mirror lay scattered throughout the Hell’s Gates, a reflection is spotted within one. The shade that appears within it looks hazy, and ethereal, yet it remains visible so the witness can see… As the demons gather around to play with the sharp fragments, the one inhabited by the shade sends out a warmth that makes the demons shiver. They all wonder, in awe, and then turn around to flee… Too late for them… The shade extends its hands and as a twirling mist comes from it, it gets out of the mirror and engulfs the demons, making them fall one by one…”
-Memoirs of a Witch… by Kymill

This turns out to be the computer assistance personnel week, so congrats to techies and programmers, and of course to myself. ;)
The week started wet... there was this big rain during the afternoon... I ended up soaked on it. Hopefully I won't catch a cold or something... I have no time for that! Geez... And something happenned that there were car jams EVERYWHERE! I mean, I arrived late EVERYWHERE today, late by 15-30 min, and I am complaining because during normal traffic there is no way to get delayed on 5 min traffic... That was really anoying... Hope it was just Monday-Mother's day frenzy or something...

So, today's day was unneventful... Did the last drawing of last week's class... amen... did some drawings for Mon & Tue... Oh, watched Andromeda... LOL The guy from V appeared there! That was so, so cool! Pitting him against Captain Hunt was very assertive, and a good hook for further episodes... Do you feel that Andromeda is looking more and more as a reare breed of StarTrek-StarWars... Maybe the happy medium, offspring of sci-fi thinguies... Today certainly felt as if StormTroopers where storming arund Dylan and Romi... And the camera shots... LOL Oh, well... MutantX was not so bad, but the same thing from the past: Our beloved kitty with a DrMindbender twisting her reality... Then JeanGrey... er... the local psyonic to the rescue... Same old, same old... I hate how Shalimar has been portrayed in the last season... so much strenght, but so vulnerable and so emotionally unstable... Are they implying all ferals are like that? Hey, CATS RULE! The writers MUST be dog people... Hmph! Anyway... I could not start reading the Cyric novel... Damn, the plan was reading the last 2 works of Anne Rice and then the Cyric thinguie... Done none of the above. Ahhh! I guess I really really need complete stress so I can pick up the books...

Majestad Negra

Por la encendida calle antillana
Va Tembandumba de la Quimbamba
--Rumba, macumba, candombe, bámbula---
Entre dos filas de negras caras.
Ante ella un congo--gongo y maraca--
ritma una conga bomba que bamba.
Culipandeando la Reina avanza,
Y de su inmensa grupa resbalan
Meneos cachondos que el congo cuaja
En ríos de azúcar y de melaza.
Prieto trapiche de sensual zafra,
El caderamen, masa con masa,
Exprime ritmos, suda que sangra,
Y la molienda culmina en danza.
Por la encendida calle antillana
Va Tembandumba de la Quimbamba.
Flor de Tórtola, rosa de Uganda,
Por ti crepitan bombas y bámbulas;
Por ti en calendas desenfrenadas
Quema la Antilla su sangre ñáñiga.
Haití te ofrece sus calabazas;
Fogosos rones te da Jamaica;
Cuba te dice: ¡dale, mulata!
Y Puerto Rico: ¡melao, melamba!
Sus, mis cocolos de negras caras.
Tronad, tambores; vibrad, maracas.
Por la encendida calle antillana
--Rumba, macumba, candombe, bámbula--
Va Tembandumba de la Quimbamba.

-Luis Palés Matos

Well, I had to post something completely linked to our roots, didn't I? :P

This little poem has always been a favorite for me... Because of its breath of courage...
Many important days in my life have been marked with this little poem...

En la Brecha

¡Ah desgraciado, si el dolor te abate,
si el cansancio tus miembros entumece!
Haz como el árbol seco: reverdece
y como el germen enterrado: late.

Resurge, alienta, grita, anda, combate,
vibra, ondula, retruena, resplandece...
Haz como el río con la lluvia: ¡crece!
Y como el mar contra la roca: ¡bate!

De la tormenta al iracundo empuje,
no has de balar, como el cordero triste,
sino rugir, como la fiera ruge.

¡Levántate!, ¡revuélvete!, ¡resiste!
Haz como el toro acorralado: ¡muge!
O como el toro que no muge: ¡embiste!

-José de Diego

Ah... to match my sad mood, a nice little poem that sums the story up... One of them anyway...

RIMA LII

Volverán las oscuras golondrinas
en tu balcón sus nidos a colgar,
y otra vez con el ala a sus cristales
jugando llamarán.

Pero aquellas que el vuelo refrenaban
tu hermosura y mi dicha a contemplar,
aquellas que aprendieron nuestros nombres,
ésas... ¡no volverán!

Volverán las tupidas madreselvas
de tu jardín las tapias a escalar
y otra vez a la tarde aún más hermosas
sus flores se abrirán.

Pero aquellas cuajadas de rocío
cuyas gotas mirábamos temblar
y caer como lágrimas del día....
ésas... ¡no volverán!

Volverán del amor en tus oídos
las palabras ardientes a sonar,
tu corazón de su profundo sueño
tal vez despertará.

Pero mudo y absorto y de rodillas,
como se adora a Dios ante su altar,
como yo te he querido..., desengáñate,
¡así no te querrán!

-G.A.Bécquer

Gilbert, 13 years and counting... Endless memories...
I never forget... First love... The truest love...
And the one that makes you bleed forever...

Spelljamming...

Saturday... 10:30am... Sara calls... What the... Damn! I had no friggin sleep the whole week, and Sara just calls to wake me up so I go to the lab... I didnt get the phone. Got her third message at 1:00pm... Sorry Sara! But I'll go to the lab next week, ok? Ah... Seems she wanted to do something today... Well, anyway, went to the appointment at El Calvo's house. So, he prepared some vegan stuff... Yummy... And we all watched two movies. I had no idea that most people from Andromeda were in JasonX. Leixa and Liza... Even the lady who did Tyr's wife... Wow... that was the only interesting thing on the movie...
Got home late... Had to do 2 drawings, could only complete/post one... I will do the other today in the afternoon, I guess... I am tired, my right arm is killing me, my neck is definitively there and I need to give some rest to my hand... The bad thing of drawing/painting/decorating/and working with computers... plus being right-handed only. I need to work on my ambidexterity, damn it!

Ok, so I finally got the look and the info I wanted on this blog. Amen to that. Now with that simple pleasure I can just relax and enjoy in simplicity... LOL Hmmm... I kinda missed doing my assignment today, but hey, did some drawings for next week! I am tired, overworked, stressed, brokenhearted and oh so pissed... Yet there is something that makes me smile at the ugly world around me... On other news, after 4 years, finally got the permanency at work. Yayyyyy! Been thinking of redecorating... and playing D&D again... We'll see...

Trying to post the left sides...