The weekend... I kinda wrote something about it, but could not post it because I had no phone... The happiest weekend of the year, and I couldnt talk to anyone... Grrr... Wanted to go to Ponce on the weekend and couldn't... Wanted to check some sites and ebay and couldn't... It plainly sucked...

On Friday, saw Saw2. although it was not bad, it was not good either... Linear in its storyline, knowing who is the Jigsaw eliminates the tension of finding out who is he... less mistery... The ending with the new Jigsaw is kinda... stupid... but of course, they need an excuse for a Saw3. The deaths were cool, not too creative but cool. The idea was awesome... the delivery was a bit weak... I expect too much of movies these days... I guess that's why I'm turning to oldies and foreign, American movies are too predictable and have lost its charm...

Yesterday spent the afternoon watching Pirates of the Caribbean. Always lighthearted but nice to watch, love Captain Sparrow to death! XOXOXOXO

Today, wanted to disguise in my normal violet velvet ren dress, but since I had to go to Aguadilla and must throw some cables in the afternoon that would not have been too practical... I guess that the Halloween spirit will try to come to me after work... Whatever... it's not like for me the whole year is not Halloween... ;)

Anyway... Gotta go back to duty... If anyone out there can, PLEASE REPORT MY AUNT's PHONE! I am isolated ever since Saturday! And without internet! Now, THAT is creepy!

Enjoy things that bump in the night!

10-4

Happy Halloween to all! And to all, a fright night! ;)

" Hello – remember me?"
" Who's there "
" I've got your number "
"Oh no! "
" I'm back to haunt you, ha ha ha ha ha "

Its Friday night – so creepy outside
its is thundering and lightning
There's nobody home – cause I'm all alone
its scary and its frightening

The sound of shoes – a shadow that moves
something odd is tic tac ticking
Someone's in here – I'm so full of fear
the telephone is ringing

Now I can see you - oh no please no
Now I can touch you - oh god please go
I am right here now - oh please tell me where
Ha ha ha ha - I'm in a nightmare
You better run I'm back to haunt you down

Halloween – in the death of the night – hear me scream
I'm coming - I'm coming
Halloween – is the fear that I fight – in my dream
I'm coming - I'm coming

Hell broke out – on this Friday night
Zombies passing deadly
My Candyman – from Bounty land
is coming here to get me

Now I can see you - oh no please no
Now I can touch you oh god please go
I am right here now oh please tell me were
Ha ha ha ha - I'm in a nightmare
You better run - I'm back to haunt you down

Halloween – in the death of the night – hear me scream
I'm coming - I'm coming
Halloween – is the fear that I fight – in my dream
I'm coming - I'm coming
Halloween – in the death of the night – hear me scream
I'm coming - I'm coming
Halloween – is the fear that I fight – in my dream
I'm coming - I'm coming

Halloween……

-Aqua, Halloween

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night toss and turn and dream of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there's someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach Like the fire in my blood

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

-Jennifer Saunders, Holding out for a hero

I don't believe in trouble I don't believe in pain
I don't believe there's nothing left but running here again
I don't believe in promise I don't believe in chance
I don't believe you can resist the things that make no sense
I don't believe in silence cos silence seems so slow
I don't believe in energy the tension is too low
I don't believe in panic I don't believe in fear
I don't believe in prophecies so don't waste any tears
I don't believe reality would be the way it should
But I believe in fantasy the future's understood
I don't believe in history I don't believe in truth
I don't believe that's destiny or someone to accuse

I believe, I believe!!!

I don't believe in trouble I don't believe in pain
I don't believe there's nothing left but running here again
I don't believe in promise I don't believe in chance
I don't believe you can resist the things that make no sense
I don't believe in silence cos silence seems so slow
I don't believe in energy the tension is too low
I don't believe in panic I don't believe in fear
I don't believe in prophecies so don't waste any tears
I believe!!!

I want you to try, try to needing to know why, why
No kidding, no sin, sin No running, no win, win
I believe!!!

No angels, no girls, girls
No memories, no Gods, Gods
No rockets, no heat, heat
No chocolate, no sweet, sweet
I believe!!!

I want you to try, try
to needing to know why, why
No kidding, no sin, sin
No running, no win, win
No angels, no girls, girls
No memories, no Gods, Gods
No rockets, no heat, heat
No chocolate, no sweet, sweet

No feeling, no secrets... The silence you feel...
which hides you from the real...
I want you to try, try needing to know why, why
why, why, why... why... why...

I believe, I believe!!!

-Run Lola Run, Franka Potente, Believe

At RUM during the moning. Updated all 7 pc's and antivius on them. Midday, and things got a bit complicated... To AEE, so the electrical wire that is alive in the house will be killed soon... Then to AAA to find out I needed escrituras to get the water connected... To AEELA to get the loan to pay the ex-owner... Home to get the escrituras, then to AAA to explain things and get the water connection job ticket and pay the deposit... Then to get the tiles I didnt get on Sat... Then to make a spare key of my office key because I lost the original along with my ID... Then to the Post Office to find out if the check arrived (which didn't because this is the International Screw Me week)...

Yes it was a busy day... Another busy day... I am exhausted! Signing off really early so I get some batteries recharged...

10-4

Okay, you babes of jazz. Let's pick up the pace.
Let's shake the blues away. Let's make the parties
longer. Let's make the skirts shorter and shorter.
Let's make the music hotter. Let's all go to hell
in a fast car and KEEP IT HOT!

-Chicago, Nowadays

Long, long, LONG day at work. Made 8 service tickets and the fringe of a banner... don't ask... Very VERY drained and tired... An hour is all it takes to make me want to run off... but DUTY calls (and need for cash). Afterwards, two small chandelliers arrived, so at least the bedrooms will have light. Wheeeee! Then the album stuff and visiting orcish lands for comfort.

Back home... Kitties misbehaved a bit throwing a terracota can from the highest place of the bookshelf to the bed... Luckyly it fall in the bed... all the sand splashed on bed and floor...

They can be unnerving, but my kitties are more than just pets... They understand me, they are my companions and friends... They love me and I love them back... Its a simple relationship that shows in many intrincate ways.

Tired. Will sleep early... Long week ahead...

10-4

PS: Happy Birthday to LightShadow! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I thought I had enough of pain, that I was trough with feeling pain and that my heart had gone steady and strong and even cold. I was wrong. Today I have felt a pain within me that has no description and no boundaries. Sudden, unexpected, swift, deadly… I have learned I still have tears to shed, and my ability to love left me… If I had a sword through my heart before, now it is no more… because the sword was taken away with the entire heart, after moving it sideways within my flesh, making sure that no trace of warm blood was left… As the shower of daggers ripped me open, I found my strength to stand leaving me. I held the doorframe trying to not fall, as my spirit went out of my body… I listened speechless… I couldn’t find inner force to make myself angry and reply, as I would normally do.

There is no point to words. There is only near-sightness and selfishness and an unreasonable jealousy that cannot allow any ray of hope, or any truth… He is fixed on the same idea, the same viewpoint, the same thoughts, which are not reality, which are not true… How can I compete with all he has quilted in his brain? What can I say to things, actions and words that hurt much without a point? He dares to doubt me in every way, and without any reason. And all I gave him was truth and dreams and all the love I had. This is it. This is the point of no return. This is where he chose to kill my heart and stop it all, even if it drives him insane, even if it is the worst mistake he knows he’s making. His desperation within his irrational ways leads him. Nothing else to do. I feel… Is that a consolation in itself? I still feel… After more than 15 years, I still feel…

What lies ahead... just around the riverbend? Now, that song made so much sense... And foretold so much change...

10-4

What I love most about rivers is:
You can't step in the same river twice
The water's always changing, always flowing...

But people, I guess, can't live like that
We all must pay a price
To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing
What's around the riverbend
Waiting, just around the riverbend

I look once more
Just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore
Where the gulls fly free
Don't know what for
What I dream the day might send
Jut around the riverbend
For me
Coming for me

I feel it there beyond those trees
Or right behind these waterfalls
Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming
For a handsome sturdy husband
Who builds handsome sturdy walls
And never dreams that something might be coming?
Just around the riverbend
Just around the riverbend

I look once more
Just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore
Somewhere past the sea
Don't know what for ...
Why do all my dreams extend
Just around the riverbend?
Just around the riverbend ...

Should I choose the smoothest curve
Steady as the beating drum?
Should I marry Kocoum?
Is all my dreaming at an end?
Or do you still wait for me, Dream Giver...
Just around the riverbend?

-Pocahontas, Just around the riverbend

What did I do yesterday? I honestly can't recall... I think I've been watching Animal Cops and What Not to Wear and Trading Spaces... overdose of Animal Planet and TLC...

Today, the adventurers gathered at point A and so we went to point B to gather a package, but since it had not arrived we went to point C and then D. Point E was crowded but we managed to pass through the villagers unnoticed... our cloaking device works wonders! The borderline was full of insight and cats... We gathered information and went on to scout for valuables and fleur-de-liz items that would certainly please the Queen. No luck with the valuables, at least the big boss should appreciate the knowledge... nothing like being able to expand an ongoing plan. We went over dwarves and villagers once more, and with ease snatched our carriage and returned to point A so one of the crew could find means to reach point F. After a break another stop was made from point A to G, then back.

Dorothy has reached Kansas. The bird has landed. Pocahontas was a fool. And Mulan will be tomorrow's treat.

10-4

Corpse Bride. Loved it. Emily, the perfect name after my own... LOL Emily Strange, Emily Rose, and now this Emily... The animation was nice, the story predictable but ok, and absolutely loved the ending with the butterflies. Tim Burton is a genious. I still don't know WHY people say that Big Fish was not a strong story... I think it was... I loved it. It moved me, and THAT doesnt happen everyday. Whatever...

Invaded by the Credit Card abducters. Had to cancel mine because of many transactions coming from Neverland... WTF. Struggling with barely there money and now this... Woe always invites strangers for free and for unreasonable fun... That was the suckiest moment of the day.

Seems the gov will take some land from some people and turn it into the place for a train that will take tourists to the Caves of Cofresí Pirate and will link that place to Boquerón resort... Funny thing is that the lands are on sale and some people (house developers) were to buy it, and the sellers didnt mention that fact... You know the government... they take whatever they want whenever... But I must admit that the idea of a train linking those places is very alluring to me. I just hope they have security for cars, so the thing about car vandalism or getting stolen as in the Tren Urbano doesnt have a second chapter over here...

Saw the apartment owner and a check should be on my way tomorrow afternoon... Need it for the bath tiles, the waterproof glue and the sink-toilet set.

Friday morning will take auntie to her Disneyland... the grocery store and the post office. Gotta call the contractor to see if I should call the people of AAA and AEE. By midday I'll visit my house to see what's up and take some measurements. Gottta go to AEELA as well, to try getting the loan to pay the lady that sold me the house although paperwork will have to wait until next week... Its at my office...). May visit Lucinda at night, been a looong while since I last saw her ( and she was not in a good mood).

**************** Music Box playing in the background... *****
**************** Imagination... Its free, use it! ***********

"Hey, hey, hey ,hey
Ohhh...

Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby

Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on

Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby

Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me

Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down

Will you recognise me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ohhhh.....

Don't you try to pretend
It's my feeling we'll win in the end
I won't harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security

Don't you forget about me
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Going to take you apart
I'll put us back together at heart, baby

Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me

As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away

Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on - call my name
Will you all my name?

I say :
La la la...
When you walk on by...
And you call my name...
-Simple Minds, Dont u forget about me"

Dedicated to all my friends out there, although I don't talk to you regularly or see you regularly you are all regularly on my mind and on my heart.
Coriolis, Zordak, Lucinda, No Name, Groundel, Joe, LightShadow, LaSombra, Taz, Bubu, Rimmer, Lulú, El Calvo, Tetazo-Lady, Tribu de Texas... and late Mayra and Betsy who are both watching my back from Heaven...

********** End of Kodak moment ****************
********** back to regular schedule ****************

Thought of going to old San Juan on Saturday, but the weather broadcast foretells plenty of rain. So it may not be such a wise idea... And my budget is below the red line. Thinking that its best to leave that for next week... Still, don't know... Oh, and I almost forgot, the blue tiles arrive Sat afternoon... Eeeck!

Tired and blue... The usual. When will this provincial life will change...

Everyday... (yup, watch out... it's another musical score!)

"Little town, It's a quiet village
Ev'ry day Like the one before
Little town, Full of little people
Waking up to say: Bonjour!Bonjour!
Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!

There goes the baker with his tray, like always
The same old bread and rolls to sell
Ev'ry morning just the same
Since the morning that we came
To this poor provincial town

Baker:Good Morning, Belle!
Belle:Good morning, Monsieur.
Baker:And where are you off to, today?
Belle:The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story
About a beanstalk and an ogre and a -
Baker:That's nice. Marie! The baguettes!Hurry up!
Townsfolk:Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
Woman:Never part of any crowd
Man:'Cause her head's up on some cloud
Townsfolk:No denying she's a funny girl that Belle
Man I:Bonjour!
Woman I:Good day!
Man I:How is your fam'ly?
Woman 2:Bonjour!
Man 2:Good day!
Woman 2:How is your wife?
Woman 3:I need six eggs!
Woman 4:That's too expensive!
Belle:There must be more than this provincial life!

Bookseller:Ah, Belle.
Belle:Good morning, sir. I've come to return the book I borrowed.
Bookseller:Finished already?
Belle:Oh, I couldn't put it down. Have you got anything new?
Bookseller: Not since yesterday.
Belle:That's all right. I'll borrow . . . . this one!
Bookseller: That one? But you've read it twice!
Belle:Well, it's my favorite! Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise -
Bookseller:If you like it all that much, it's yours!
Belle:But sir!
Bookseller:I insist.
Belle:Thank you. Thank you very much!

Townsfolk:Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar
I wonder if she's feeling well
With a dreamy, far-off look, And her nose stuck in a book
What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle

Belle:Oh, isn't this amazing? It's my fav'rite part because --- you'll see
Here's where she meets Prince Charming, But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three!

Woman:Now it's no wonder that her name means "Beauty"
Her looks have got no parallel
Shopkeeper:But behind that fair facade I'm afraid she's rather odd
Man:Very diff'rent from the rest of us
Townsfolk:She's nothing like the rest of us
Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is Belle!"

-Beauty and the Beast

There must be more than this provincial life! Just the way to sum up all my feelings... 32, and still believing in fairy tales...

10-4

Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella.

Ella fue una desilución para sus padres
que querían un varón,
pasaba el tiempo vestida de azul
en algún rincón ...

Siempre quiso ser bailarina,
más la obligaron a estudiar medicina,
y le prohibieron la ilusión de
un amor que la distraía ...

Coro:
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella.

Y se fue a casar confundida
con un mediocre al que ni quería,
y entre que haceres, gritos y novelas
se le fue la vida ...

Y se tragaba su llanto encerrada en el baño,
y se enterraba las uñas de desesperación,
y salía cómo si nada con la cara lavada ...
para quedarse callada con el dolor en el corazón!

Coro:
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella.

De nada sirvieron los hijos
que la llevaron a tirar a un asilo,
donde una tarde se miró al espejo
y lo encontró vacío ....

Ella tuvo una visión en esa noche clara,
se imaginó volando se sintió amada ...
Ella se prometió: Voy a cambiar mañana!
dijo que sería ella ...
y que lucharía por ella ...
pero el mañana no llegó.

Coro:
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella,
Ella que nunca fue, Ella que nunca fue ella.
Ella que nunca fue...

-Gloria Trevi, Ella que nunca fue

¿Que opinas de los toreros muertos?
Pues ay que hacerles un tributo ¿no?
Va

Y creo que he bebido mas de 40 cervezas hoy
y creo que tendré que expulsarlas fuera de mi...
y subo al water que hay arriba en el bar
y le empiezo a mear y me hecho a reir
sale de mi una aguita amarilla calida y tibia

Y baja por una tuberia
pasa por debajo de tu casa
pasa por debajo de tu familia
pasa por debajo de tu lugar de trabajo
mi aguita amarilla,mi aguita amarilla

Y llega a un río
la bebe el pastor
la beben las vaquitas
riega los campos
mi aguita amarilla,mi aguita amarilla

Y baja al mar
juega con los pececillos
juega con los calamares
juega con las meduzas y con las merluzas
que tu te comes

mi aguita amarilla,mi aguita amarilla(estrb)
mi aguita amarilla,mi aguita amarilla

Larala,larala,larala,laralala,la la la

El sol calienta mi aguita amarilla
la pone cien grados, la manda para arriba
viaja por el cielo, llega a tu ciudad
y empieza a diluviar
moja las calles,moja a tu padre
tu madre lava la vjilla con mi aguita amarilla
larala,larala,larala
moja el patio del colegio
moja el ayuntamiento

mi aguita amarilla,mi aguita amarilla
mi aguita amarilla,mi aguita amarilla

Larala,larala,larala,laralala,la la la

Y creo que he bebido mas de 40 cervesas hoy
y creo que tendré que expulsarlas fuera de mi
y subo al water que hay arriba en el bar
y empiezo a mear y me hecho a reir
y me pongo a pensar ¿donde irá?¿donde irá?¿donde irá?
¿donde irá? se esparcirá por el mundo!
pondá verde la selva y es que mi aguita amarilla
será un líquido en el mundo

Larala,larala,larala,laralala,la la la
Larala,larala,larala,laralala,la la la

-Molotov, Mi aguita amarilla

Beaches

I am NOT dead. I am NOT haunting old Mayaguez streets with a white (eckkkkk!) camisole and messy hair falling on my face, while everyone hears me screaming: La Madre! La Madre! And no, I have NOT run away to Mozambique to release rats of their very important and dangerous task of finding unused concealed bombs.

People: I am on vacation. Translation: I am doing many things that I would not be able to do while working, so you wont find me sitting in a corner facing the wall and scratching my butt. I have been looking for the prices of house things like tiles and lamps and different kinds of fixtures, and daydreaming as I look for prospect sofas and bedroom stuff... prospect because as someone says, and I quote: " Champagne taste but Coca-Cola pocket".

All these days I've been trying to asimilate what I can change in the house that I bought, what I can change later, what I can stand for a while and what definitively has to go. It has been a very tiresome process, at times confusing, at times overwhelming, at times as clear as water. Can't do much with only $200 to count on for the next 3 months... everything else is compromised for paying the last checks to the owner, and for paying the last checks to the constructor. On January I will be able to start fixing things, slowly but in a more consistent way... Following the master plan, everything should be spit and spat by Thanksgiving 2006. Yay! Until then, more headaches ahead... But I guess that all the trouble has a flair of its own, and its a lovely process in which I will be able to construct the right lair for the right dragoness...

Downstairs there are quite some needs: New cabinets (yikes, a solid $2000 for the perfect kitchen which includes a stove and fridge, a double corner sink, and cabinets with gothic arches), new flooring (old world tiles resembling stone for the foyer, living room and dining room, and solid terracota for the kitchen), whole bath redo (cobalt blue tiles inside the criolle bath, outside walls with white tiles placed diagonally, fleur-de-lis cobalt designs stamped on some of them and stamped as ceiling border... floor in white-cobalt design... cabinet and mirror for the sink). I already have the chandelliers for living & dining, small but with unique character ( and which I need someone to do the rewiring). I'm looking for the kitchen and foyer chandelliers, and I spotted a nice one for the stairway... Oh, and I need to visit the Salvation Army since that will be the spot to get most of the mobiliary that I need (they have very good deals, but this has to wait until Feb or Mar).

Upstairs: I like the yellow flooring, so it stays. The two bedrooms need new closets, so I'll get them mirrored ones later on. They needed light fixtures, and I just won them on ebay... two nice small chandelliers. I already have the a/c for my room (very important! I'm a polar bear). Since I cant do the cabinets downstairs until next year, the ones upstairs will stay for a little while, then they will be dismissed (only the sink will stay because that area will be designated to a small kitchenette and my art space). Now, the bathroom... It needs TLC asap... I just cant go in there and smile... hate the tiles and mish mash of everything. Since seems I will live upstairs really soon, the common sense dictated that it is the room that needs inmediate help... I am trying to do the best to solve that problem... Got the criolle bath flooring. Still need the cobalt blue tiles and the mustard tiles, the trim tiles in cobalt maybe with a design, bot sure yet... white spaces on the walls maybe with white tiles to match the sink... Cobalt, mustard and white since I will keep the stars and moons tradition in this bathroom.

Construction: A wall is done, the arches are WIP and the stairway was stripped of the iron fence and the foundation for the big wall and ceiling is done. I dont want them working too fast... which they are doing... Got the entire payment in December!

Patio: The great outdoors meets wilderness... Need to hire someone to take down the forest but that has to wait a bit more... I hope that the bees nest is not too close as they buzz around! I'm looking for a cabrita couple so they work the trimming miracle that I need... leave your resumes at my post! :)

Today: Took the day out for a vacation day, went with the idea of going to the beach... Caña Gorda was closed... They close Mon and Tue... is a new law... The chicken BBQ guy was not in the road when we passed by, I should have taken the hint. So, we went to my favorite place in the world: Cabo Rojo's Lighthouse. We trecked, my car almost got stuck thanks to my thinking it is a Big Foot machine, and we climbed our way defying the wind and the sun... The lighthouse is now surrounded by iron fencing that is closed to visitors. I could not touch the building. Right there was where I rescued Roxy last year... It stinged my heart. Ever since my 17th year I made the journey to this sacred place, and felt atuned to a land that I feel for, and felt that the surrounding wildlife and plants and even ants welcomed me as I welcomed them... It felt surreal and bad. I felt old. I felt violated. My sacred temple is no more, thanks to rich people with no love for values and culture and heck, not even for freedom. I hope an alien attack changes everything for good.

Anyway, after the ill fated encounter of a closed Faro (lighthouse), we went to Combate Beach. Closed... at least it had a good reason for that, it was flooded... yup, a flooded beach... plus the surroundings have been sold to rich people who have built many apartment-tourist facilities... Awful. The land is no longer wildlife, it is a wild mix of a new breed: cement and lavishness. No respect for nature, none at all... That's why it rebels. I was actually glad the place was flooded... People that mess with wildlife are scum. So... We decided to try another beach, Boqueron... It was closed. Same Mon-Tue closed crap. Then we went to Buyé Beach... The resort had the same sign... No beaches on Mon or Tue. What used to be a free simple thing you could do whenever you felt like is now something you must do under the rules of the government, the days they want and the times they allow. If I were the Little Prince I would die of sorrow and sadness because I would not be able to watch sunsets in the right place to do so... and we are talking about an island! Freedom! My ass!

So... back home we watched half of Pocahontas... ermmm, more nature being ripped away stuff, not good... This was my vacation day... I am tired, dissapointed, sad about nature... People wonder why all these bad things are happenning: earthquakes, tsunamies, landslides, earth openings, floods... Mother Nature is awakening from her slumber and her task now is to have an iron fist... no velvet glove... no one had a velvet glove with her...

I love my small island. I love the dawns and dusks, I love its green allure and its majestic seashores... Mankind should be removed to avoid further damage to flora and fauna. We are the worst animals of all, because all that animals do is based on instinct and survival, and all that humans do is based on greed and evil. My homeland has a terminal disease that needs to be removed... But that is utopic wishing...

Personal life: Still, very still... No sounds within or beyond. Suspended animation, o algo.

10-4

Unbirthday

A very happy unbirthday to LS! We celebrated her Un-bday yesterday with simple dinner and a movie night. The Fog was awful... Terrible mish mash of stories that had no point really and nothing scarier that the Pirates of the Caribbean special effects... I'll give it half a cow head... (BTW LS's bday is on the 24th, so until then many happy un-bdays to her! :P

Popu: Email me with the right email because I did sent an invite when I sent all invites! Did you cancelled your yahooooooooooooo? Shame on you!

Groundel: Get a job, get back to college on Jan and surprise me by May. :D Am I gonna let u say "I do" this time? (music from Psycho)

Back to my red self... Out!
10-4

Big Mistake

I am barely alive... this can't be called living. This has been the worst idea that I've had. Moving in with my aunt has proven to be the worst of all choices this year... Why? I get screamed at 24/7 for everything I do... and for everything I don't do... It is not important the fact that things are not my fault, if I am around it is my fault no matter what. I am 32 year olds, biologically. For her, I'm just 12 year olds and I know nothing about the world, about living and about the things I do. I am stupid, ignorant, flamboyant, and all I do is lead an easy life. For her I am not a professional who is fighting for her own place and her own things... no... for her I am a leech that takes advantage of the little things she has, a chaotic disruption in her order, someone who has no use other than bothering, bossing and being tossed around. She has no respect for me, for who I am, for my beliefs...

She doesn't get that I need peace and quiet, that I am on vacation and that the last things I've been having is fun... That I am juggling the construction, the cats, personal issues, work issues, everyone elses issues... and I simply cannot stand or be around screaming and yelling and fighting just because it is my fault that I breathe. I needed a vacation from work because of the constant nagging of people... peace of cake when compared to this 24/7 nagging that has no sense in itself... I had no choice but to leave the apartment in order to do the house thing... Can't she see that I am not here just because it is comfy and relaxed... because it is NOT comfy, it is NOT relaxed, it is driving me nuts, it DISRUPTS my inner peace... I hate going home to soemone elses home, having to give every reason and detail of what I'm doing or what I'm gonna do or what I bought or what I eat or what I drink or why the cats act as cats, or why everyone is as they are, or why the world is having so many calamities, or why God put me here to try my patience when He knows I have none less!

This aint good for my nerves, it aint good for my mental health, it aint good for trying to smile and accomplish the little goals I must accomplish in order to set things straight... She volunteered when I asked, and I asked 5 times. I hesitated and she said all the way that this was my home and would always be... that she would help. Honestly, if she had said no at least I would have had the headache of getting more money and staying on the apartment until things were done. I have not really saved anything in matters of cash because now I have no place to cook because she wont let me touch anything in the kitchen, she wont let me wash my clothes because I could damage the washing machine, and I have no place to really rest and be... simply be... My little apartment was a haven, each time I closed the door to the world it was my space, my air, my silence...

I hope that construction ends up soon because I need to move by Thanksgiving. I know that living there will be harsh at first without furniture and stuff, but I rather be surrounded by candlelight and sleep in a place where no one will tell me what I must do or shouldnt do or simply anoy me because it seems fun. It's that bad in here... I find myself crying every night because of it... a knot in my throat as I see that good intentions are one thing and reality is another... I love my aunt, she is a real mother to me, but I cannot live under her roof if I want to truly live. Its as simple as that.

True colors shine through, for everyone.

10-4

Vacation begins!

Vacation begins, and I am beyond broke. The contractor passed by at 9:30 as he agreed to, and we decided to build a wall surrounding the stairway outside, so the space is a bit bigger instead of being reduced. Light issues will be taken care of, and the two arches will be on the sides. I'll get rid off the counter in the kitchen, so I can later on built a nice L shaped kitchen. Bathrooms need tls, especially a change of tiles. Upstairs will have some add-ons, but that is another proyect when the mayor changes finish. The area of the foyer will be defined later on, my focus is on open space... so I can breathe!

Spent the afternoon putting together the background pages of what will be the May vacation's scrapbook. The Disney theme is perfect, and found postcards that I got at Universal for that purpose... Way cool. Will start the paging/ journaling/ selection/ putting together/ voila! tomorrow afternoon...

The weather has been too fickle... Beach will have to wait for next week IF rain stops. Thinking of traveling north to visit Old San Juan and to go to the Salvation Army and check out the furniture and stuff... Looking for oldies with medieval flair... Thats how I want to decorate my house... :D

Coriolis: May Groundel & me stay over on Friday night if rain stops and allows for travel?

Lucinda: Got some bags for you. Ring to claim them ;)

LS: Are you doing something on Thursday night?

Popu: Are you on legal drugs yet?

Groundel: Are you happy or at least happy-errr?

God: What is the big plan you keep hidding from me? Stop changing the questions when I got the answers! Please? :D

10-4

Finally this hellish week is over. Overloaded with work in every sense... People driving me crazy. The next two weeks will be in sort-of-vacations, at least away from work. Yesterday was a looongaleer day in Aguadilla, the bright side is a cheap eating place that the girls showed me... got some pescao en escabeche with guineitos that was simply delicious. Went to sleep early, had to wake up early today because of the exadep test...

Speaking of tests, that exadep crap sucked. Everything went well, but that math part was a killer... things I have never seen, symbols that only someone who had taken calculus not just business calculus would know... Whatever. Another crappy thing was taking a 4.5 hour test in those crappy rooms with no a/c... Absolute sauna!

Rainy weather is cool during afternoons and nights... Slept in the afternoon and went to try reaching el calvo at night... No use... Where is he? Was he abducted by aliens? Is he travelling? WTF? Left Gruendel in his provisional lair and went home...

May stay with the kiddies tonight, they seem to need the love.

Tired... Havent called or contacted any friendly face... had no time during this past week... Yes, Lucinda, I'm alive (barely)! Thanks for the hello, LS, hopefully I'll call u on Sun. :D Hi to Pops, NoName the missing in action one, and Coriolis. I love you all guys! Yu are all always in my thoughts.

Catching zzz's... Out!

10-4

Will be at Yauco and San German tomorrow, and at Aguadilla on Friday… Got the ticket for the test… Gotta pass the test so I can go on with the plan of going back to studying on January.. hopefully it will be for a doctors degree. Will be figuring out if I should move anytime soon to the house… Next week I will call for connection of water and light… I’m trying to get contractor and quotes but so far nothing… Growing impatient…

Valiant… Cute little short movie… Disney did it again, loved the furry feather friends.

Past weekend was the big move. I had no luck finding Willie at first, but he was home on Friday night and he agreed to lend the pick-up. So on Saturday morning he, along with Groundel’s help, moved the big stuff out of my small dwelling… During the afternoon the room for the kittens was prepared at its best… At night I was too beat to do anything else… On Sunday got cat food, left the anti-flea liquid on the cashier’s place (had to go back on Tue to get the stuff and not loose the money)… And cleaned out the last parts of the apartment. 10:30pm… still moving out… I was beat!

On Monday I was on zombiefyed estate the whole day… Went home to put clothing in place and my aunt was still arguing and screaming her way to me… Out we went to catch a breath of air…

Tuesday… nothing too interesting… Updates at work, taking care of kitties at home… Tired as hell… Keys and beeper given to owner. Waiting for the deposit until next week… I hope that wont be a mayor issue now…

Wednesday: More updates, people bugging with their stuff and me very tired. Got Inositol and anti-flea.

Hopefully, after tomorrows updates at work, I’ll get my house’s keys, give the lady a bit of cash, then pick Groundel so we go check the house. Gotta sleep well on Friday, need a clear mind on Sat. Sunday and next week will be for house evaluation and calls and cleaning and taking stuff there.

Scores for postal service jobs arrived. I”m elegible, as well as Groundel… let’s see what happens.

Gotta sleep, eyes popping out.

10-4

Moved to Aunties. Living hell on day 1 & 2... Today was ok I guess... Kitties less stressed... Me, completely stressed. Keys of apartment off my hands as of today. Exadep graduate test on Saturday... Vacations starting next Monday.

happy happy joy joy