With the fire from the fireworks up above me
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain at hand
You run for cover in the temple of love
You run for another but still the same
For the wind will blow my name across this land
In the temple of love you hide together
Believing pain and fear outside
But someone near you rides the weather
And the tears he cried will rain on walls
As wide as lovers eyes
In the temple of love, shine like thunder
In the temple of love, cry like rain
In the temple of love, hear my calling
In the temple of love, hear my name

And the devil in black dress watches over
My guardian angel walks away
Life is short and love is always over in the morning
Black wind come carry me far away
With the sunlight died and night above me
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain inside
You run for cover in the temple of love
You run for another it's all the same
For the wind will blow and throw your walls aside
With the fire from the fireworks up above
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain
You run for cover in the temple of love
I shine like thunder cry like rain
And the temple of love grows old and strong
But the wind blows longer cold and long
And the temple of love will fall before
This black wind calls my name to you no more

In the black sky thunder sweeping
Underground and over water
Sounds of crying weeping will not save
Your faith for bricks and dreams for mortar
All your prayers must seem as nothing
Ninety-six below the wave
When stone is dust and only air remains
In the temple of love, shine like thunder
In the temple of love, cry like rain
In the temple of love, hear the calling
And the temple of love is falling
Down

(Extended Below)

In the temple of love, shine like thunder
In the temple of love, cry like rain
In the temple of love, hear my calling
In the temple of love, hear my name
In the black sky thunder sweeping
Underground and over water
Sounds of crying weeping will not save
Your faith for bricks and dreams for mortar
All your prayers must seem as nothing
Ninety-six below the wave
When stone is dust and only air remains
The only haven you can trust
And the devil in black dress watches over
My guardian angel walks away
Life is short and love is always over in the morning
Black wind come carry me far away
With the fire from the fireworks up above
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain you
You run for cover in the temple of love
I shine like thunder cry like rain
And the temple grows old and strong
But the wind blows longer cold and long
And the temple of love will fall before
This black wind calls my name to you no more

In the temple of love you hide together
Believing pain and fear outside
But someone near you rides the weather
And the tears he cried will rain on walls
As wide as lovers eyes
In the temple of love, shine like thunder
In the temple of love, cry like rain
In the temple of love, hear the calling
And the temple of love is falling
Down

-Sisters of Mercy, Temple of Love

Yellow bird flying gets shot in the wing
Good year for hunters and Christmas parties
And I hate
And I hate
And I hate
And I hate elevator music
The way we fight
The way I'm left here silent

Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again
Oh these little earthquakes
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

We danced in graveyards with vampires till dawn
We laughed in the faces of kings never afraid to burn
And I hate
And I hate
And I hate
And I hate disintegration
Watching us wither
Black winged roses that safely changed their color

Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again
Oh these little earthquakes
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

I can't reach you
I can't reach you

Give me life, give me pain
Give me myself again

Oh these little earthquakes
Here we go again
Oh these little earthquakes
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

-Tori Amos, Little Earthquakes

And if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
and I'll go chasin' the nuns out in the yard
and I'll run naked through the streets without my mask on
and I will never need umbrellas in the rain
I'll wake up in strawberry fields everyday
and the atrocities of school I can forgive
The happy phantom has no right to bitch

Oo who- The time is getting closer
Oo who- Time to be a ghost
Oo who- Everyday we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will we pay for who we've been

So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
They'll be my ticket to the universal opera
There's Judy Garland taking Buddha by the hand
and then these seven little men get up to dance
They say Confucius does his crossword with a pen
I'm still the angel to the girl who hates to sin

Oo whoo- The time is gettin closer
Oo who- The time to be a ghost
Oo who- Everyday we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I've been

Or will I see you dear and wish I could come back
You found a girl that you could truly love again
Will you still call for me when she falls asleep
or do we soon forget the things we cannot see

Oo who- The time is getting closer
Oo who- The time to be a ghost
Oo who- Everyday we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been

And if I die today
And if I die today
And if I die today
Chasin' nuns out in the yard

-Tori Amos, Happy Phantom

kiss on the lips - you're sweet and simple but
quite daring. you move for the kill confidently
knowing the other person wants the same thing.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
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~*~*~*~*~UNIQUE~*~*~*~*~
You are different. You're the type of person that
is easily spotted in a crowd. You have a
radiant personality. You probably go through a
lot of mood swings from happy to lonely, angry
to sad, loving to spiteful, and so on. Be aware
that your sudden change in personality may
offend some people. People like to be around
you because you are genuine and relaxed. You
seem at peace with yourself and you give off
that "what you see is what you get"
vibe. That's a good thing because your general
audience will feel relaxed and at ease knowing
that they too can be themselves with out having
to worry. Try not to judge others on their
appearance. It's not nice. Over all you're a
spirited person who enjoys having a good time!
Good for you! :o)

Please Rate or message me! Thank you for taking my
quiz! XoXo <3 Lana


You're Beautiful...but why? ( PICS)
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This weekend... Good and bad. Friday visited Trilogy, chilled for a while and then Groundel picked me up... Weird experience with a drunk junkie that was so out-there that was too friendly to us... No harm done, anyway. But it was funny as hell. Saturday rented 5 movies since I was on call... My co-workers were... working... and I had to give support at 7:30AM thank-u-very-much... Went to see a lousy apartment, went to get groceries finally after a whole year... LOL, yup, that low... And watched the flicks...

Girl on the bridge: Loved it. Sweet, mild love story about a suicide, a knife thrower that asks her to work for him so if he misses she dies... and how they realize that when they are apart they have the worst of lucks...

The Forgotten: Liked it. Sci-fi when not expected. Nice movie, I guess it is scary for any mother... how could I know? I know nothing about that.

A mi madre le gustan las mujeres: An ok movie... predictable, sweet, it is suppossed to be funny I just found it ok for killing time... more of the same in many things...

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: Loved the eye candy, loved Angelina Jolie... Hated the ending, why the captain stays with the stupid, good for nothing blonde? That's so macho-style... Anyhow, good movie... nice effects... Fast paced...

Ghost in the Shell 2, Innocense: Hmmm... I found it too slow for my taste in Manga. So there is where the Matrix came from? That was nice, the whole idea of the movie was nice, just that there are so many things that needed not to appear because they added nothing to the atmosphere and drama... Nice time killer that left me almost unconscious.

OK, besides the movie marathon, Joe spent the weekend over the Western side to be with his Juliette. :) It rocked to have you both around, guys! Thanks for the laughs. :P

Today... Visited my aunt and then visited el Calvo. He was having some computer issues so I helped with them, and when hunger striked went home to attack a chicken... So that's about it for these three days... Missed Tril's calling, as he didn't in the last 2 days... Thank God he can't live wihout me... (followed by a sarcastic laugh). Anyway, I'm just not thinking too much, the year is just beginning and I have things to do... No time to think deep or cry. Enough is enough.

10-4

You're 80's Madonna!


Which Madonna are you?
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Meeee? Popularrrrrrrrrrr? Sheshhhhhhhhhh! I dont even get invited to the corner café... Although I am kinda hooked on the 80's... Kinda? LOL

Tonight... In Nuestro Ambiente... COMMUNION: TRIBUTE TO KILLING JOKE, JOE DJing as DJ-Popu. Be there, and send him my best wishes. ;)

Depressives Annonimous

It’s just funny how the world works… Yesterday I was playing Dr.Ruth or something… not too willingly, but in a way it gives me a different light on my personal situation… I’m not the only one who is screwed at work, I’m not the only one whose personal life stinks, I’m not the only one depressed and on the edge of insanity… It’s either we all stick together, or we will individually burst. LOL

During the morning the youngest of my co-workers was complaining about exercise aches… ended up as my patient, expressing how she has discovered the hard way how two-face the people in this place is… She’s a cool gal, this is her first job… I feel for her…

During the afternoon I wanted to ask a question to another co-worker… He is quite expressive and quite an open book… just like me. He started explaining how to get a house, ended up telling me about his personal life and how between that and work he’s screwed… He works to pay the bills, but hate the place and the people. And is in his 30’s and still no home, no wife, no life, no nothing… Another Arien that struggles because in the midst of his deeper depressions he knows he’s meant to do something big… LOL Seems we Ariens have the same curse under the stars… He was talking about the emptyness, the feeling of wanting to be away from people, even shopping only at Walmart one hour before closing… LOL Wow! Nope, it wasn’t me talking… Next thing we will end up in a bar listening to heartbreaking songs… LOL

Coriolis joins the club, as a matter of fact I created the club and he was the first member… Another entity that feels lonely, misunderstood, empty, yadda yadda… If we all get together we could rule the world… and then explode it! Yay!

No word from Trilogy. Roxy is showing love at all times. Groundel has been cooking (internal joke). Life could be worst… but at least there ARE people that understand how I feel… That facts gives a ray of hope, in a way… I hope I can get a house or an apartment by the end of this year… I guess in a way it is a main goal. I want my own place, so my kitties can run wild and so I can have an isolated room for painting and being just me.

10-4

Roxy's Mischief

I had a nap, then woke up to check some bids. By midnight, the laptop battery went off, and I was getting ready for going to sleep, then Groundel wakes up and asks a stupid question: “Where is Roxy?” And so… I start to look for friggin Roxy… (Ok, for those who do not know WHO the hell is Roxy, she is my 8th cat, a femme that I rescued from El Faro and that seems to be a mixed breed… whose attunement with me is strong as she is a bully, a cascarrabias and yet she is love incarnated with me). Back to the story… I looked for dear Roxy Heart…Not under the bed, not in the bathroom, not in the litter, not in the living room, not in any shelf… Roxy had escaped and we had not noticed. I went nuts. I went outside, looked around the house, around all cars, around the perimeter… no sign of Roxy. And so I go back to my apartment, devastated, on the verge of crying my eyeballs off… Groundel put on his shoes and went outside for a walk, to see if he could find her. I moved around the house, nervous, crying… My baby was gone… More, my familiar, my kindred animal soul was gone… So finally I decide to get outside, sit down in the floor and close my eyes. After a small while I heard a faint meow. I whistled, and the meow grew higher. It was my baby. And she was in the other side of the fence, in the neighbor’s house.

So, I approached the fence, calling for her. Then another cat, a white male, appeared out of nowhere, chased Roxy until she got up in a tree then he come back to me, purring. The bastard would not let Roxy get down, and each time I whistled or call her, he would come to me. After a while Groundel arrived, and I explained what was up. I asked him to get food for phantom kitty to distract him… I started messing with the fence until I could open up a hole that was already there (that’s the way that the neighbor’s chickens use to come to my side), and started petting and talking to phantom until he finally came to my side. I went to my apartment, saw that Groundel was appearing with the food, and just as I was telling him to go with phantom to the front of the stairs that lye close to my door, Roxy made a super fast triumphant entrance inside the apartment, staying behind Groundel’s legs, staring at phantom as if saying “They are mine, my own, my precious, and you ain’t coming here!”.

So… Almost 1:30 in the morning, I took Roxy to the bathroom for a bath to make sure she had no guests in her fur, then bathed her in the anti-guests cream, and then let her be after hugging her and caressing her for a while. I love Roxy. All the times that I’ve been very sad and insanely depressed, she comes to me to make me feel better. She sleeps at my side and always watches while I surf the net… She’s an extension of me. After that, couldn’t sleep for a long while… I stopped counting minutes after 3 AM… Ah… There is always emotion, action, suspense… and lots of love…

Woke up at 7:30 AM. It was a miracle I arrived on time to work… I feel sick, seems the wind, the coldness of wee hours in the morning and then the cold shower while bathing Roxy will get to me after all… My nose is stupid and my body aches… But no matter… I rather be in pain than lose my furry friend.

10-4

Yesterday was a waste. The day went away fast- Thank God! And not much was done… Saw Tril at night, ended up in another fight… Whatever… The issues start to get annoying, especially since he doesn’t singles me out of his lack of trust for everyone. I am doing nothing bad. So, shoot him.

This weekend sucked. Did nothing, saw no-one, was depressed and pissed and tired… Not even the cat did something interesting… The only hilarious moment was a a desvelado-talk with Joe and Anthony and Samil. They made me laugh a lot at wee hours in the morning. It would be nice if Anthony became part of the constant circle again, I miss him a-lot, got used to his daily presence and mischief. The good old times… And it would be nice to have Joe around to hang out and create mayhem around the little people Buahahahahahah! Wishful thinking. Reality is I’m surrounded by idiots at work, and the few friends I have are aloof in their own bubbles… It is a bubble world after all… Whatever. Life goes on.

Aguadilla, the whole day... Got home, drop dead into my bed... woke up at 8 and so here I am...

Feeling: Deeply sad, deeply dissapointed (again), deeply angry (again), like reviving a vendetta, like throwing a heavy stone lid to a friggin tomb (his, again), like getting a knife and plunging it into a heart a dozen times... (again)... Moody... Mad... Pissed... Insane...

Ahhh! What's the use... I may feel like a radioactive agent of entropy, but I am a friggin goody-goody-doer and so I am incline, in the Real World, to simply let days pass, forgive, and forget... I am so stupid when I want to be stupid... Been stupid for 15+ years out of... true love... out of obssession... out of belief... out of commitment... I always believed he was truly good for me, because whenever he is around he makes my eyes light up... and his eyes light up... and the world dissipates... I believe in dreams and angels and the destiny that we make happen... But who knows... Maybe not this time... Maybe not in this lifetime...

Groundel has been supportive and kind and a true gentleman all along. I thank him deeply for being true to me, to our promise of friendship and of being there no matter what. If he were not around, I would be very lonely. This is not a coffin BUT a mausoleum... and there is plenty of space for both of us. 'Nuff said.

Watching Groundel playing Silent Hill... cool... He rented Avalon, so I may get to see that tomorrow. Too depressed to say anything else...

10-4

I was sooooo bored yesterday that I made up a “scrapbook look” for my office door. I covered almost the whole thing with hearts in different shapes, in the colors red, pink and blue. And made grass, and even a small river… LOL Yes, THAT bored…

Arrived drained to my home, but managed to get up and visit Tril. I needed to go to the pharmacy and so he went with me and then we went back to his house. He was depressed, and I tried to cheer him up to no avail… (sight) Well… He talked and talked and talked… Seems he needed to let out of his chest many things. So I listened and tried REALLY hard to stay quiet and not judge. Then I went home… Groundel had tummy trouble but was surviving it. The pink stuff came in handy. :)

I didn’t even turn on the computer. I was beyond tired and beyond drained. I went to bed and even Roxy tried to make me feel less… stressed… Nevertheless, I couldn’t sleep well. I guess the bad vibes got into me, as I kept tossing and turning… I may be about to get sick, it was raining small droplets and those are the worst… Ah, my luck… my fate…

Today things are very, very slow… The day is murky (which I like) and the office is freezing my bones. But hey, I am alive. I guess that’s what counts…

10-4

Phone call this morning. It was nice to hear an old friend’s voice. Green-eyes used to work with me at HP, and even after I stopped working there she kept contact… Well, she called and it was ok until she started this weird questioning about cats… then she asks me if it is normal for a cat to come back home after she has left the cat in another city… because she wanted to get rid off kitty… and kitty came back scrawny and hungry after 3 days… I was baffled, shocked, you name it… Then she goes on to tell me same thing happen to a friend of hers who tried to get rid off a cat but then kitty came back after a few days… from Añasco to Moca!!! God! Then she complains about femme cat having kitties… and as I mention sterilization she says she ain’t spending money on a cat… and then she mentions they sleep in her car motor… Ok… So a the nice experience of listening to a friendly voice turned into… a gasping, slapping, incredibly unbelievable BAD trip. Then she asks my cats colors, and as I say black she almost screams because, oh my, how can I actually LIVE with 5 black cats? As she hanged up I tried to catch my breath and stabilize my emotions… How can ANYONE be so insensible to a cats’ true needs? Why people believe black cats are so different than the rest? They have no mutations… Just 4 legs and a tail and the same kitty-drive… Then the thing about disposing of them as if they were trash… When they are born in a certain place, no matter where you take them… if the new place is not safe or good for them, they will go back to what they understand is “home”. Distance doesn’t matter. They cannot understand that a human simply doesn’t want them around, period. I was appalled, and felt sad and the thought of the poor kitties being treated that way makes me sick… And the worst thing is that 80% of the people in the island behave this way with the little furry defenseless animals… They treat cats as if they had no pain, no need for love, no need for shelter or companionship… and after showing a bit of humanity they dispose of them as if they were trash when they get bigger and “not so cute”. It angers me. It makes me wanna scream and slap with a shoe all of those who harm poor innocent kitties just because… Ignorance is not an excuse. Supersticion is not an excuse. There is absolutely NO excuse for doing such a thing… And then, people think of themselves as “human”. What a joke.

Visited el Calvo and picked up Tril at his job. Then came back home... Tired, a bit stressed, a lot sad...

10-4

Joe came to Mayaguez last night, and I just "met" his girl. Just met is out of place. I've known Ms.Lightshadow for more than 10 years now. LOL The world is REALLY small. We met at an art class in our local college. And although I speak to no one, I did speak to her. So hear this Joe: The girl is VERY special, she rocks and you better be good to her DAMNIT! :P You two make a great couple. I hope this is "it" for both. Cheers!
And Ms.Lightshadow: There is a GREAT gentleman that would do anything for you, and you only. He's a crazy, smart, witty, funny, caring, thoughtful, outstanding, intelligent guy... Handle with care and appreciate him VERY much. He's worth your time and your heart. Cheers! Good vibes sent both ways!!!

Did some serious shopping yesterday, got 2 business suits and a business pant. Trying to make a better corporate image... sort of. Will not get rid of my red hair, thank-u-very-much...

Hope Tril is not pissed because I could go see him last night. I was REALLY tired and sleepy... I think I fall asleep while speaking to him in the phone... Wellllllllllllll... Shit happens... Nevertheless, will try to see him today.

Nothing else from NeverNeverLand.

10-4

You scored as Drama nerd. Drama nerd 100% Goth 81% Loner 75% Geek 69% Punk/Rebel 50% Ghetto gangsta 50% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 25% Stoner 25% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

Gossip

I am against gossip. I hate gossip and try not to further its ends. Gossip screws up people in every sense of the word. It is just better to go ahead and say things straight to a person’s face. It keeps integrity and in a way it creates trust. If someone has the guts to tell things to your face, that someone can be trusted because will deal with problems in an open way. That’s just my way of thinking… Since sometimes people do not get you have closed ears and closed will for gossip, I just let them talk and ignore them. I may gain the good and the bad of it, but I make no comments. I rather be a tomb. People talk without knowing a person’s problems or conditions or mental status or experiences… For every action there is a reaction and a motive. Taking time to dig for the truth, for facts, without passion, takes a big effort… but in the end it is the best way to get things straight. It can be a messy business… and maybe that’s why gossips were born… they are the easy scapegoat to reality and to frame those who you dislike…

I just saw a beautiful silver cross made of roses. Pretty, pretty, pretty. Me want! Me take! Waaaaaahhhh!

Solving system problems… Seems that in the holidays communication lines got fucked up… Well… To the rescue! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Will try getting the shoes for my aunt tomorrow… and will try to get 3 uniforms-of-sort for work. There was a nice clearance last week, hopefully it is still going… Nothing else is new… Ysterday was sleeping by 6pm. And I’m still tired… I need an energizer engine! Geeesh…

10-4

“If there is a solution to the problem, there is no need to worry. If there is no solution, there is no sense in worrying either.” Dalai Lama

Friggin sleepy. These last 3 days been sleeping 5-6 hours because of insomnia and it sucks… I feel ethereal already… Need to get Lucinda really fast before things start to fade away and I end up tubed! LOL

Yesterday and the day before had to go to Aguadilla to check out a slight problem that is driving me nuts and there’s nothing I can do to solve it because it’s either the electricity or the phone line… Shessshhh, I get fed up of people complaining to me as if I could do a hocus pocus or something…

Talked briefly to Tril yesterday. I am in no talking mood, and had plenty of sleepiness… When I get like that I get so drain that I require too much concentration to just talk… Imagine thinking… No way!

Groundel starts classes today. He resigned his job so he can study full time so he can try to get all the classes needed so he graduates this year. A final big effort. You can do it! We girls can do anything! Ask Barbie! :P He also took the test for the driver’s license… At least he passed the first phase. Now to wait a week or two so he tries the driving test. He needs it.

Lucinda has a very tight crazy schedule… Plans to complicate it even more… But hey, an ultimate push, to see if you finally graduate this year! As I said before, we girls can do anything…

Movie review:
Dawn of the Dead: The original, the only, the unrated, the stupidest… LOL It is plainly funny. I guess that by the time it came out it was a bit scary, but I cannot help but laugh at the zombie dances… I liked it.
Battle Royale: Nice flick. Loved the concept, cruel… but it may come to that… Young people are that savage… disrespectful… So… Go BR!

Drooling over the keyboard… R-U-N2SIN? I’ll be back! Buahahahahahahahah

10-4

I'm a pewty rose...

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
-Persian proverb

Groundel had picked a cute friendly card for me and I spoiled the surprise... I felt so bad... Well... You gotta learn to get things when I'm not around to place little shopping things in my purse, you should know I'll end up checking what I have in my bag of misteries... Anyhow, he gave it to me nevertheless. And I ended up crying nevertheless... Feeling both bad about being such a spoiler, and feeling warm and cozy thanks to the nice simple words. You know you always have an important place in my life and in my heart, silly boy. When I offer friendship, it IS forever.

And now to something completely different...

Yesterday I was plain lazy. I didn't wanna get off bed, and just layed there with 5 kitties sleeping around me. The other two were in the condo, and the last one was isolated so she would not eat or drink (because of today's operation). I woke up at 4PM... Hey, do not sue me, after all I went to sleep at 5AM... And then put a bunch of pics on a CD so I can go someday this week to develop them... Need to update photo albums and scrapbook.

At 7pm decided to try seeing el Calvo, passed by and ALAS! he was there! Plus a big surprise... The man that stubbornly said to me that he would NEVER add any kind of COLOR to his walls... and this he had said for 15 years... painted his inside walls in 5 different tones from coral to brown. I was stupified, zombified... you name it... The house looks extremely good, the color picks up the warmth of the wooden furniture and gives plenty of focal points to the whole house adding drama to the pieces he showcases... Ok, this has been my "Christopher Lowell moment" today... LOL Stayed until 9 and then headed back home.

Lucinda called, finally... and she needed me to get some info on the net, soooo I browsed and send her answers to her email. To bed at 1AM, and when I woke up for potty break I realized the cocks were singing and it was already 6:30AM... Time to get up... Ahhhhhh!!! Back to reality TV... Sucky...

Trilogy left a message, but since I arrived after 10pm I didnt call him. May do so today. I'm still mad at him.

So remember kids... He who wants a rose must respect her thorns... I have many thorns, so whoever wants me has to deal with them and respect them and even admire me for them. A girl than can be naive and sweet yet punch you in the face if you do something wrong both rocks, and is priceless!

10-4

We are gonna see the wizaaaaaaard!!!

Went to Arecibo on Sat, nice little dinner with Groundel and then nice little shopping spree. Since it was already late when I decided to keep drivig over there, we arrived kinda late to Mayaguez. Trilogy had called and left a message… I’m still mad at him, but I tried to be a good sport and called him back to see if he wanted to go to the movies at midnight. And so we did. We watched White Noise, and honestly I was falling asleep… The movie is too slow, and although it has a nice idea it lacks good writing… Gee, like that’s not the trend the last couple of years… Oh, well… Left Trilogy safe and sound in front of his house, and I arrived safe and sound to mine.

The highlight of the night was having a bit of an actual conversation with my beloved old acquaintance Joe. It was amusing to hear his voice on the radio, although the signal over here sucks, and I didn’t really liked the music from 10-11. It definitively improved after 11… but I couldn’t hear much after a while… Joe, dumbass, you do not need to ask for crashing-permissions… You just call and show up. Ok? I hope that this time around you get all that you deserve from lady Lightshadow. As I said, this year you will GLOW in every sense of the word. Yayyyyyyy!!!! Another reason for me to be happy and do the happy dance and hop along with Hannibal and smoke a cigar and say I love it when a plan comes together! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)

Woke up late on Sunday, still… FINALLY went to the local mall to browse Borders. No RPG boxed sets… but there are the novels, so I guess I’ll check which ones I miss so I complete my novels collection… The Anne Rice area was really sad, and the Stephen King area was too fancy. Saw some books on scrapbooking that I want to get later one, as well as some books on sewing… Yes, you read right… Seems I might turn out to be a seamstress by the end of this year, because I am getting some patterns for medieval styles and vampy stuff and I am so tempted on trying that DIY clothingline thinguie… I’ll try that after I actually get a sewing machine… that’s my next big buy, and seems I’ll get it for my birthday…

Browsed the tatoo books, and the cards and ift sections, and the mandatory dvd section… I was laughing so hard when I checked the new releases… now there’s a new book about the cheese… do not wait around for cheese, make your own… It is the continuation (sort of) of the business oriented “Who stole my cheese”, and I cant wait to read it… I found the first one hilarious. I know it is NOT comedy, but I am a business mayor so I find it funny… Sue me later, ok?

So… after the bookstore, then it was the mandatory visit to HT and to Walmart… and then crashed at my aunt’s… Couldn’t help the long hourse there: good food and they were showing the Conan movies back to back. I am a Conan junkie. So it was a nice thing to see. Finally came home, fed my kitties and went online to try paying some bids I won… The system was not allowing anything for a while, so I kept on in my quest for trims and fabrics (I want some in some specific styles/prints… yes, I am experimenting with textures, so what?). And after my final success, here I am.

It is 4am… and I am getting a bit sleepy… I was planning to visit the Observatory, but will leave that for next Sat. I should go to sleep and then try to get the helechos I want for my palms… Yup, still on that quest… And do the week’s clean up, and try to make people do everything I want so my dominatrix title goes on untouched… LOL Whatever… Gotta find Sara… The kitties will be neutered on Tue… See ya!

10-4

3KingsDay and then some mice...

Okkkkkkkk... Wanna burst my bubble? LOL ;P

This week has been... mild... easygoing... so-so... Called my father on the 1st, and been crashing at my auntie's for food and good drinks (I absolutely hate drinking alcohol, BUT her Ponche is something else... THE exception). Also been crashing for small bits at Trilogy's palace of dust. Incredibly odd that I've catch no cold or nothing related to any sickness... Amen... Free days since governmet loves partying, and the new gov gave Friday off... so, a small 5-days vacation... YIPEEEE!!!

Well, started a 1hr-walking-routine, hopefully it will fall between 3-5 days on weekdays. The aim is to lower my sugar, plus any magical bonuses. I may be enticed to go back to the gym by my b-day on April... Who knew...

Will take the GMAT test around Feb or March to see if I can get in the MFA program on the UIA, San German. I guess that it will feed my need for being artsy and creative... Was thinking of going ahead with the PhD on Business... but I am more inclined towards the MFA in Painting and (whispering...) Photography... I think the MFA could help for a career jump towards new horizons... We'll see about that...

Been writing-rewriting-proofwriting my fantasy epics... Creative writing bug has been on for some days now... Also reading some Forgotten realms info-booklets... Has been fun, getting new gaming ideas.

Will see if I can get to the Observatory in Arecibo between today and Tuesday, and maybe get some helechos for my lovely palms... La-la-la...

Feeling: Hopeful, like smiling, smelling the roses and the coffee, breezing

Kittywold: The 8 kitties are happy with their condo and have been creating mayhem as usual. Will get Michita to the vet so she get her operation next Tuesday... Wheeeeeee!

Friends: Coriolis didn't show up as usual, Lucinda called yesterday but I was not home and tried to see el Calvo last night but he was sleeping at 10pm... Trilogy has been with tummy trouble for 3 days, and Groundel has been a corporate slave on Xmas and beyond.

Movies:
Resident Evil 2- Milla is back, better than ever in her female-terminator-like character... Loved the movie. Can't wait for RE3. Wheeeeeeee! Femme power!!!
Gargoyles- STAY AWAY FROM THAT CRAP!!!
Manchurian Candidate- Loved it. A bit predictable but good action-drama.
Shawn of the Dead- Ah... Ok... I admit I didn't wanna see it, but heck... I was bored... Please don't sue me... Besides, it was not so bad. It was better than QOTD at least!


An that has been the latest news on this side of the 3rd planet...

10-4

Pissed, pissing... piss some more

Everyone is mad at me, sorry. I have not been feeling like hanging out with noone lately, and my mood flips from somber to antisocial to anarkist to somber again.

Family is mad at me because I dont look for anyone... Well, maybe I am tired of smiling and behaving like Crazy Glue. If someone wants to speak to me and share some quality time, they know where to find me. So, I have found that my dear sister is only interested in everything about her husband and her hubby's family, and nothing about my aunt or me, so... sorry if I have not been too enthusiastic of visiting her new house to see the new furniture. I mainly do not care much about me, but it bothers me greatly that NO ONE remembers my aunt exists. Especially after SHE has been there to serve and help ALL the rats that makes up my so-called family. My mother and my grandfather used to steal from my aunt... jewelry, adornments, even saws... you name it. Another uncle wanted to take over the house when she divorced because the house needed a "man". To all my aunt has been kind and submissive, and to all I've been the bitch because I do not need a dick to be a "man" and give tough love when needed. So... TO THE PYRE!

Friends are mad at me because they don't find me. I have not been feeling like picking up the phone, and I don't feel like talking, period. If it were for me I would go in a journey to Russia and get lost in the ice-covered mountains. Alone. Coriolis has left many messages, same with Lucinda... even LadyMex... and even Trilogy...Coriolis used his brain and called me up at my aunts, where she answered and passed me the call... thanks auntie... But overall, people, I feel I need to be in a small cave, and mourn there who I am and what I wanna do with my life, sort things out, make some moves, and THEN come out to the Real World and embrace Life... Do you understand? I dont want anyone's opinions biasing me. I dont want anyones advise, I have received too many for nothing. I just want to do what I want, what I feel is right, what I know will make me happy, fucking everyone else's opinion. So, spare and forgive my lack of calling-looking for-greeting-whatever. Don't feel like it, cannot give it.

Even the whole World situation is getting to e. I am a friggin sponge. I feel every pain around me. That's why I wanna be undercover and isolated... I am a sponge and receiving all those bad vibes doesn't improve my psycho self...

Whatever... People, just let me be... Ok? Let me BE.

To Vero: I had EVERY intention of going to meet you, but the whole thing about Mayaguez is tat EVERY corner has history for/with me. That place where you played used to be a place where someone I know worked, where some situations happened, and around the place is where lay 3/4 of the reasons Trilogy and me were not together for 15 years... his friends... his hanging-out places... the bitches that were with him and with Groundel... I hate the area. HATE. And I thought people had forgotten who I was, but they have not. I have an aura that screams out my name thanks to Trilogy... I HATE that too. I feel bad and humilliated whenever I pass by anywhere in Calle Bosque. SO I deeply apologize for not showing up. It was not about you, but about everyone else. I hope you understand. This, mixed up with my bipolarity the past 2 weeks has not been good. I am trying to get well, but I am not. So, here should come an arrow referring you to the rant about me wanting to be isolated in a cave... And I know about how parents think they are straightening you up, without taking in account you do not NEED to straighten up because you are doing NOTHING bad/wrong. I went through that as well... I was a whore because I was always with guys, for more than 8 hours locked up with them in a room... doing roleplaying games... Nothing bad, I have always been a goody-goody girl... but I guess appearances gives parents wrong conclusions. Do not cry on account of that. Get even.

So, back to my bubble-retreat... in the Twilight Zone.