A dream.There was this strange reunion at my aunt's house. Coriolis, Groundel and Tril were there, and things were going well. We were all having fun. Then a neighbor appeared and as Coriolis made a smart remark I snapped back. We decided to talk in private, and as I closed the door he started crying and crying and crying histerically. You know, the kind of histeria when there's absolutely nothing more to do... I wanted to comfort him but didn't dare to get near him. I woke up pretty stirred up. Corilis is the kind of person that doesn't show feelings or weaknesses before anyone, but I have been there before to see this happen... And it scared me, deeply. I wish there was a way to make him understand some things in both our lives, because for someone who knows so much he sometimes overlooks what is really important and what is in his face... I feel bad, because I know he is not happy and I wish there was a way I could make him happy. Sounds silly, but in a way that we cannot understand we are attached to each other. I wish I could do more to show support and cheer him up and make him believe in how important he is for me. He is the only one I envision having a real family with. That deep runs my feelings and faith in him. But he never sees beyond the window, he doesn't dare to even touch the curtain to try looking at the dawn... And so I stay there, in the other side of the window... Looking into his life through the small crevices when the wind blows and the curtain moves with it... Looking at glimpses of his life... hurting when I see him hurt... wishing I could do what I simply can't... Witnessing the empty life others offer and whom he even gives chances that are mindless... I shall forever be there, because he changed my life completely... And even if I fail, he knows I am true to my people, there is no evil in my heart. I will always be his friend. It is just ironic that because of years past he still refuses to see... We are both so different from everyone else. We are both driven by the same forces. It doesn't take a genious to do the math... (sight) And I still wish for a miracle... Am I stupid or what...

I've been pretty lazy this weekend... Maybe its just that I am depressed... Maybe it's just that my mind overloaded my senses... Maybe I'm in short circuit and imploding... Whatever. I am tired... I have no more tears to spill so that part is a relief somehow... But I am tired as hell... No desire to go drive visit anyone, or to window shop... Not even to dial the phone... Tired of everything and everyone. Tired of reaching and feeling and believing... Drained. Dying. Holding on to the last shreds of what I always wanted... to my dreams...

Until the end comes and only darkness remains.

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