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Om-bli-gui-to… Ya empezamos mal… (Sight) In two weeks will be the oh-so-great secretaries week, so they made a commitee that will take care of coordinating the event (as they do every year)… And somehow I always get dragged into it. They want to do this wow activity with only $45 that they have gathered so far (without much effort because the girl in charge of getting people to pay doesn’t like to ask for money… WTF!). Common sense… Hmmm… What an innovative idea. So following my common sense they followed the “idea” of asking people to bring in items and food instead of money… I can’t get why thinking about that is innovative… been there done that… but what a concept! And after assigning the items the committee was so surprised now there is food to spare… It doesn’t get better than that, huh? Whatever… There is the quest to find someone to come and give some kind of entertainment to the secretaries. At least someone found a contact that may be able to give a small self-defense/stress relieving thinguie and a “bomba & plena” thinguie. That should be fun and different. I’m very afraid about what may come up in matters of setup, as I always end up doing the décor and I am not so willing anymore. I may direct, but I cannot get on chairs or stairs… So that should be interesting. There is always drama and useless challenge…
Besides that, I’ve got someone who is pissed because they denied her a symposium because if she needed information on computers there is the IT department for that… LOL The blindness of those in power… This person is in charge of virtual employment, and her interest on attending a commercial symposium about Telecommunications and Internet has to do with making contacts that may turn into future employers for the program she was asked to develop… The joys of working in a place with no vision… They don’t even see what is in their nose. Sadly.
Yesterday the mage came early from work, so we watched Swordfish and Spirited Away. It was really nice to actually have him around in a weeknight. It makes a big difference in everything…
Groundel needs bandages and insulin. I got some contacts to see if he can get them from non-profit entities… Everyone opens their mouth but at the time to act no one do anything to solve the problems. That is what pisses me off from people. I wish I could solve it all myself, but sadly my finances cannot withstand much especially now. I have not been able to get the friggin test strips I need, and yesterday I ran out of syringes… Zordaks friend solved the syringe dilemma for the day, and I will see how I get the strips on Friday… Groundel has his foot exposed to the air because he has no non-stick pads and no bandages to wrap it all. He also ran out of insulin yesterday morning, along with syringes. (sight) Being diabetic and young is so lovely… Between his post-surgery woes and my being pregnant the odds for having some spare cash to keep up both maintenance expenses are completely out. My budget is shaken by doctors visits and friggin healthy food that I have to eat without question. The domino effect on everything is distressing. And the stress I get from it all makes me shed like a cat... and is quite depressing. Having your hands tied when you want to do things, when you wanna solve problems, is completely outraging and frustrating. There is no break from the string of bad luck, and payments… It’s all about the money…
No computer and no internet at home is driving me insane. I feel completely cut off the world. I cannot sell things to at least solve daily expenses. I cannot talk to people when I want to. I cannot get creative and do stuff and find goodies and news and opportunities… Ugh! Wanna get a book or two that some people have recommended, and can’t do that. Wanna take my mind of the stupid house with its stupid problems, but can’t even go meet with Nature because now you have to pay to go find a parking in public leisure places. It’s insane… Now they will start charging the stupid tax on non-processed food… The government keep milking the working class without any pity at all. And it is a wonder that suicides have increased… that crime keeps increasing…
Pasando el Niágara en bicicleta...
I wish I could at least play some Dungeons, so part of reality could be gone… but not even that. Working weekdays, followed by working on house chores on weekends… followed by more working weekdays… non-stop… And you cannot even enjoy a Chinese ice-cream because you don’t have the almost two dollars they charge now… An evil routine in which you keep making fat the system, while you get thinned down and jaded and there seems no escape at all… Oh, life is so beautiful! Smile because you are alive! Smile because you have family and friends and shelter and food and work! Smile because you have an education and freedom of deed/thought/speech! Smile because every second of your life has been schemed by everything that surrounds you so you don’t really have to think too much about anything! Why be troubled? Why feel helpless?
I am NOT sorry. This is NO way of living. This is NO life. Living being forced to give everything you have, and don’t have, is NOT living. Living without being able to enjoy a sunset is NOT living. Living not being able to sleep because the system ties up your dreams is NOT living. Living knowing you cannot breakout because of the consequences on other people’s lives, because you need the money, because you are the main pillar of a building, is NOT living. Life? Beautiful? Not even fairy tales are beautiful… There are always shadows that lurks and brings misery and unhappiness. Sometimes more, sometimes less… But the wheel always spins and is never in your favor. Especially if you fight for justice. Especially if you have high goals and dreams. Especially when you want to genuinely make a difference. It would be nice if only once in a while the wheel could turn for you…
10-4
Me dio una sirimba un domingo en la mañana
cuando menos lo pensaba
caí redondo, como una guanábana, sobre la alcantarilla
será la presión o me ha subido la bilirrubina
Y me entró la calentura
y me fui poniendo blanco como bola (d)e naftalina
me llevaron a un hospital de gente (supuestamente)
en la Emergencia, el recepcionista escuchaba la lotería
(¡treinta mil pesos!)
¡Alguien se apiade de mi! grité perdiendo el sentido
y una enfermera se acercó a mi oreja y me dijo:
"Tranquilo, Bobby, tranquilo"
Me acarició con sus manos de BenGay y me dijo:
"¿Qué le pasa, atleta?"
y le conté con lujo de detalles lo que me había sucedido
Hay que chequearte la presión
pero la sala está ocupada y, mi querido
en este hospital no hay luz para un electrocardiograma
Abrí los ojos como luna llena y me agarré la cabeza
porque es muy duro
pasar el Niágara en bicicleta
No me digan que los médicos se fueron
no me digan que no tienen anestesia
no me digan que el alcohol se lo bebieron
y que el hilo de coser
fue bordado en un mantel
No me digan que las pinzas se perdieron
que el estetoscopio está de fiesta
que los rayos X se fundieron
y que el suero ya se usó
para endulzar el café
Me apoyé de sus hombros como un cojo a su muleta
y le dije: "¿Qué hago, princesa?"
y en un papel de receta me escribió muy dulcemente:
(mi princesa, ¿qué va a ser de mí?, uh...)
"Lo siento, atleta"
Me acarició con sus manos de BenGay y siguió su destino
y oí claramente cuando dijo a otro paciente:
"Tranquilo, Bobby, tranquilo"
Bajé los ojos a media asta y me agarré la cabeza
porque es muy duro
pasar el Niágara en bicicleta
No me digan que los médicos se fueron
no me digan que no tienen anestesia
no me digan que el alcohol se lo bebieron
y que el hilo de coser
fue bordado en un mantel
No me digan que las pinzas se perdieron
que el estetoscopio está de fiesta
que los rayos X se fundieron
y que el suero ya se usó
para endulzar el café
( No me digan que me va cayendo
de tanto dolor
no me digan que las aspirinas
cambian de color
No me digan que me van pariendo
que le falta amor
no me digan que le está latiendo, oh no...)
-Juan Luis Guerra, El Niágara en Bicicleta
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