“Credibility and trust are keys to lasting relationships. Lying erodes credibility and creates distance. When situations arise where lying seems to be the most expedient solution, the emotional cost factor can add additional motivation to find solutions that do not involve lying. Often with some imagination and a willingness to spend time thinking about the problem, satisfactory solutions can be found which do not involve lying. There are unquestionably risks to telling the truth. Telling the truth can cause a great deal of embarrassment, but admitting to failures often leads to learning how to do better in the future. For someone who values learning and effectiveness, the gain usually more than justifies the pain.” (Ben Best, Some Philosophizing About Lying)
And after the definitions, to today's special rant:
It is one thing to know that some people are avid liars, and another completely different thing when people who claim to know you purposely lie to avoid certain situations… Well, let me tell you a truthful rule of thumb: If you lie to me, you are in deeper waters if I find out. Why? Simple: I tell things as they are, up front, openly. I am honest and unafraid, as I either don’t care what the world thinks, or I feel comfortable enough within my friends circle to simply be myself.
Yes, I am very opinionated, but it is not my fault that as a rule of thumb my opinions are measured within the rules of what is right or what is wrong. I have high standards for myself, and expect the same from those I care. Virtues and morals are a must. A person who lies about little things becomes used to living within webs within webs… and becomes a slave of their own lies, living in a twisted reality that can vanish anytime. I expect my close, few friends, to be as I am with them. Again, shit happens...
Someone, who promised to never lie to me again in his entire life, did lie again, as easily as passing the cake… Very disappointing.
Someone, whom I thought trusted me as openly as I trusted her, supported that lie… Very disappointing.
That two of the most important people in my life would bend things simply so “I would not be upset” is very disturbing, disappointing, and sad. Why? If it was such a deal with a little thing... and this happened... what else can be in store for me?
Why people dismiss trust, truth and honesty as insignificant, feeble things? Why is it that being responsible and clever is such an alien thought?
It is the small things which matters most… Small things band together to create a big thing. Over the years this keeps on happening, and although temptation is human, knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway for a thousand time is… Very disappointing.
I have been an open book until now. I have kept nothing for myself, I have given all I am to those I love most. I cannot understand deceit in any form because that is not my way. I cannot accept lies as casual things because they are not, because people have a history and in that history I have always ended up believing and then being lied to again. Empty apologies, a friendship toast and all is forgiven and forgotten… Right. When it all happens monthly… weekly… daily… words cannot touch the heart. When actions are not present, the mirage fades… and despair reigns… and goblins feast on the wicked souls…
If my voice cannot be tolerated, if answers cannot be taken into consideration, if my ways are so sharp and unbearable, then move on. I am sick and tired of receiving the award for being wrong when I’ve always been right. I won’t shut up. As long as I am right I will never shut up! Write those words in marble. Both of you.
10-4
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