Webspinning of the Arcane mixed with a bit of poison, passion, dreaming and humanity...
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Here I am... Payday and cannot go get the check... Stranded in my house with no soul taking pity on my self... LOL Right... It could be worst I guess... Gotta go to the hospital this afternoon, get a nice excuse before I die. Hope to get better by the 1st, hope that Coriolis can come over here so he can be Driving Miss V to some places to take care of some loose ends before I depart for 2 weeks... Buahahahahah... Going to Texas, eeeehhhaahhhhh from the 9th to the 19th, so maybe I'll blog, maybe I wont...
Coriolis had a sickness, then Lucinda had sickness, then Einstein and Barbie... Then Groundel, then about everyone at work, and finally me. How nice...
Saw Moulin Rouge for the 6th time...
Saw Finding Nemo. Awesome movie! I didnt expect such a good film!
Revisited Dracula and Sleepy Hollow...
Bored as hell...
Looking for bargains on weddingstuff... Found a contact for Circulo de Recreo, lets hope that comes out right. Looking for a priest to do the confirmation thinguie for Groundel before September (thats a project in itself!)... Everything else seems smooth...
Insane as usual...
Trilogy called 3 days ago, and got startled at the fact I did not recognized his voice... Sorry, but REALLY trying to move on here! Besides, he said we are no longer friends, so why he keeps his every-4-months calls? Out of the 12 years waiting circle, pal!
Thats about all the emotion and drama I can handle. Yipeeee! The pills really work!!!
And AVO is still being around, a bit down but hey, he is after all the empathic agent of entropy in our universe, aint he? ;)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
10-4
Coriolis had a sickness, then Lucinda had sickness, then Einstein and Barbie... Then Groundel, then about everyone at work, and finally me. How nice...
Saw Moulin Rouge for the 6th time...
Saw Finding Nemo. Awesome movie! I didnt expect such a good film!
Revisited Dracula and Sleepy Hollow...
Bored as hell...
Looking for bargains on weddingstuff... Found a contact for Circulo de Recreo, lets hope that comes out right. Looking for a priest to do the confirmation thinguie for Groundel before September (thats a project in itself!)... Everything else seems smooth...
Insane as usual...
Trilogy called 3 days ago, and got startled at the fact I did not recognized his voice... Sorry, but REALLY trying to move on here! Besides, he said we are no longer friends, so why he keeps his every-4-months calls? Out of the 12 years waiting circle, pal!
Thats about all the emotion and drama I can handle. Yipeeee! The pills really work!!!
And AVO is still being around, a bit down but hey, he is after all the empathic agent of entropy in our universe, aint he? ;)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
10-4
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Good news:
1- More free days thanks to the Gobe's last Xmas wish
2- Survived a round trip
3- Still sticking to my guts
4- Nice moves!
5- Real friends exist
6- Happiness is not HAVING what you want but WANTING what you have
7- I'm still my old insane self
8- Not falling into tears-traps
Bad news:
1- Mom still a bitch
2- Mom scheming against my plans
3- Mom annoying me
4- Sis is missing in action
5- Money pit getting to $0.00
6- Missing some people
10-4
1- More free days thanks to the Gobe's last Xmas wish
2- Survived a round trip
3- Still sticking to my guts
4- Nice moves!
5- Real friends exist
6- Happiness is not HAVING what you want but WANTING what you have
7- I'm still my old insane self
8- Not falling into tears-traps
Bad news:
1- Mom still a bitch
2- Mom scheming against my plans
3- Mom annoying me
4- Sis is missing in action
5- Money pit getting to $0.00
6- Missing some people
10-4
Monday, December 15, 2003
Dissapointment, I feel...
Dissapointment tears my heart apart and makes me scream from the top of my lungs: HIPOCRITES! So many say that like a mother there is none... Damn right. My mother calls me insane, crazy beyond recognition, a social disturbance. And that she will have nothing to do with my stupid ideas. APPLAUSE FOR THE HIPOCRECY OF SAYING TO ALL HER FRIENDS HOW MUCH SHE HAS DONE FOR HER TWO DAUGHTERS. She has nerves of steel, doesn't she?
An then, the stage turns all lights towards my real mother, the one that raised me... The one that expresses feelings once every lunar eclipse... One thing is very straight: I am paying for my wedding. It is my business, it will be as I want it to be. But even if I ask for an opinion, the one that raised me and knows me so well just says she can say nothing for she cannot compromise... Money. Always money. A nice word would ie her into giving me money... Thats the big translation... So if she says nothing, and just witness my insanity, what that makes her? A partner in crime with the attitude of trying to step all over me... I am so many things, but a loser. I have so many skills, and I have no addictions, and I am hard-working... Yet, what's the reward? A good feeling? Not words, no words from the people that matters to you... And that simply sucks.
I am scheming my wedding without my family's aid. My mother wont have anything to do with it because she seems to be ashamed of my creativity. My other mom won't take part because she would then "have" to spend money on me. I won the first prize for the greatest and most loved daughter, didn't I?
My friends are my family, the ones I chose right, the ones that know who I am and acept it with a smile in their faces. It just hurts... I now my friends love me. I would just like to hear just once that my blood family is proud of me.
10-4
Dissapointment tears my heart apart and makes me scream from the top of my lungs: HIPOCRITES! So many say that like a mother there is none... Damn right. My mother calls me insane, crazy beyond recognition, a social disturbance. And that she will have nothing to do with my stupid ideas. APPLAUSE FOR THE HIPOCRECY OF SAYING TO ALL HER FRIENDS HOW MUCH SHE HAS DONE FOR HER TWO DAUGHTERS. She has nerves of steel, doesn't she?
An then, the stage turns all lights towards my real mother, the one that raised me... The one that expresses feelings once every lunar eclipse... One thing is very straight: I am paying for my wedding. It is my business, it will be as I want it to be. But even if I ask for an opinion, the one that raised me and knows me so well just says she can say nothing for she cannot compromise... Money. Always money. A nice word would ie her into giving me money... Thats the big translation... So if she says nothing, and just witness my insanity, what that makes her? A partner in crime with the attitude of trying to step all over me... I am so many things, but a loser. I have so many skills, and I have no addictions, and I am hard-working... Yet, what's the reward? A good feeling? Not words, no words from the people that matters to you... And that simply sucks.
I am scheming my wedding without my family's aid. My mother wont have anything to do with it because she seems to be ashamed of my creativity. My other mom won't take part because she would then "have" to spend money on me. I won the first prize for the greatest and most loved daughter, didn't I?
My friends are my family, the ones I chose right, the ones that know who I am and acept it with a smile in their faces. It just hurts... I now my friends love me. I would just like to hear just once that my blood family is proud of me.
10-4
Monday, Monday...
Feels like a slumber...
Humming under
Crawling thunder...
I am tired, tired, tired, tired... Been driving looking for the right spot... On Saturday spent 6 hours in the laundry. Yup, had nothing to wear so finally gave in to the darkside... Sunday was "looking for castles" day... Tiresome... Nothing I expected... Ugly places, deserted places... Seems that my last hope is San Germán. There's one perfect antique-victorian place I may add to the "Me Like" list. Still browsing...
Groundel has been quiet and easygoing. He bought 4 Starwars figures this weekend and was pretty content with it.
Lucinda went to a wedding yesterday, and luckily found jackpot.
LadyMex is stressed and misleaded as usual. Her ex will be here next week, with his current wife, and so some of us expect long hours of torture-talk.
Diego almost got splatted by my Ravi. And last night literally stepped on crystal...
AVO is kinda thundering and having a good angry time... I guess? ;)
Coriolis is excited about purple, it goes with his complexion...
And me... Just keeping up with Loving a plan that comes together. Bored, sort of... Tired... Frustrated... But happy. This pills reaaaaally work! :P
10-4
Feels like a slumber...
Humming under
Crawling thunder...
I am tired, tired, tired, tired... Been driving looking for the right spot... On Saturday spent 6 hours in the laundry. Yup, had nothing to wear so finally gave in to the darkside... Sunday was "looking for castles" day... Tiresome... Nothing I expected... Ugly places, deserted places... Seems that my last hope is San Germán. There's one perfect antique-victorian place I may add to the "Me Like" list. Still browsing...
Groundel has been quiet and easygoing. He bought 4 Starwars figures this weekend and was pretty content with it.
Lucinda went to a wedding yesterday, and luckily found jackpot.
LadyMex is stressed and misleaded as usual. Her ex will be here next week, with his current wife, and so some of us expect long hours of torture-talk.
Diego almost got splatted by my Ravi. And last night literally stepped on crystal...
AVO is kinda thundering and having a good angry time... I guess? ;)
Coriolis is excited about purple, it goes with his complexion...
And me... Just keeping up with Loving a plan that comes together. Bored, sort of... Tired... Frustrated... But happy. This pills reaaaaally work! :P
10-4
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Well, last night went to see the priest for the first time. The monseñor was not at all as I expected. He said nothing about our crazy hair, and although we got a lecture on why we don't go to church, he was easygoing. The date is set for Saturday October 23, at 2:00pm. I love it when a plan comes together. :)
I contacted a company that creates historical-period clothing. So, everyone on the wedding party will be with ren-french-victorian flair. For the reception the plan is a Masquerade, since Halloween is around the corner... nothing traditional. :)
In other news, seems I got a virus from around the block, got the runnies and nausea... Came to work but feel a bit dizzy and with a humongous headache... Ah, whatever... Nothing is perfect...
10-4
I contacted a company that creates historical-period clothing. So, everyone on the wedding party will be with ren-french-victorian flair. For the reception the plan is a Masquerade, since Halloween is around the corner... nothing traditional. :)
In other news, seems I got a virus from around the block, got the runnies and nausea... Came to work but feel a bit dizzy and with a humongous headache... Ah, whatever... Nothing is perfect...
10-4
Thursday, December 04, 2003
Looking for a castle, looking for a priest, looking for the right place , date and things. Been very busy with Barbie's birthday last Sunday. Made a small mural and two posters of Strawberry Shortcake. The whole thing was so cool! I expected to be bored, but I actually had lots of fun playing around, especially inside Strawberry Shortcake's house... Yipeeee! :P Everyone looked happy (at least the kids anyway). :D Lady mex was with Nico and Elisa. Lucinda's boy was upset because he couldn't open the presents, but then he engaged on playing and forgot... for a while... The cake was beautifully red and pink, many strawberies alluring the taste. Yummy! and had a blast talking... ok, more like listening, to Lucinda's father and his very engaging topics... from nature to UFO's. Cool!
This week, back to writing dates and getting the stuff I want for next year. This week must visit places and talk to churches... See who accepts the red-headed maniac... That's going to be tough, I dont want to dye my hair black... We'll see what happens...
At work, they are finally processing my permanency. Maybe it will be here by January. Seems next year will have many events under its belt! I should be travelling on January to Texas, to stay for 2 weeks with my father. And my car will be paid-off by November. Yes, 2004 should be a good year indeed, very unforgettable.
In the meanwhile, discovering Puerto Rico...
10-4
This week, back to writing dates and getting the stuff I want for next year. This week must visit places and talk to churches... See who accepts the red-headed maniac... That's going to be tough, I dont want to dye my hair black... We'll see what happens...
At work, they are finally processing my permanency. Maybe it will be here by January. Seems next year will have many events under its belt! I should be travelling on January to Texas, to stay for 2 weeks with my father. And my car will be paid-off by November. Yes, 2004 should be a good year indeed, very unforgettable.
In the meanwhile, discovering Puerto Rico...
10-4
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Your IQ score is 124
During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We analyzed how you did on those questions, which reveals the way your brain uniquely works.
We also compared your answers with others who have taken the test, and according to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is an Insightful Linguist.
This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.
Go ahead, humor me... :d
During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We analyzed how you did on those questions, which reveals the way your brain uniquely works.
We also compared your answers with others who have taken the test, and according to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is an Insightful Linguist.
This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.
Go ahead, humor me... :d
Friday, November 21, 2003
A curiosity...
You said your birthday is 4 / 8 / 1973
which means you are 30 years old and about:
56 years 5 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 87
52 years 11 months younger than Pope John Paul II, age 83
48 years 10 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 79
41 years 6 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 72
39 years 5 months younger than Larry King, age 70
33 years 2 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 63
29 years 9 months younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 60
26 years 9 months younger than George W. Bush, age 57
21 years 9 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 52
17 years 5 months younger than Bill Gates, age 48
12 years 7 months younger than Cal Ripken Jr., age 43
6 years 9 months younger than Mike Tyson, age 37
2 years 8 months younger than Jennifer Lopez, age 33
2 years 9 months older than Tiger Woods, age 27
9 years 2 months older than Prince William, age 21
and that you were:
28 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
26 years old on the first day of Y2K
24 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
22 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
21 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
19 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
17 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
16 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
12 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
10 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
10 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
7 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
6 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
3 years old on the U.S.'s bicentennial Fourth of July
a 1 year old when President Nixon left office
May I say WOW! Gosh, didn't knew so MUCH happenned in just 30 years!
:P
10-4
You said your birthday is 4 / 8 / 1973
which means you are 30 years old and about:
56 years 5 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 87
52 years 11 months younger than Pope John Paul II, age 83
48 years 10 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 79
41 years 6 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 72
39 years 5 months younger than Larry King, age 70
33 years 2 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 63
29 years 9 months younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 60
26 years 9 months younger than George W. Bush, age 57
21 years 9 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 52
17 years 5 months younger than Bill Gates, age 48
12 years 7 months younger than Cal Ripken Jr., age 43
6 years 9 months younger than Mike Tyson, age 37
2 years 8 months younger than Jennifer Lopez, age 33
2 years 9 months older than Tiger Woods, age 27
9 years 2 months older than Prince William, age 21
and that you were:
28 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
26 years old on the first day of Y2K
24 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
22 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
21 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
19 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
17 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
16 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
12 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
10 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
10 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
7 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
6 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
3 years old on the U.S.'s bicentennial Fourth of July
a 1 year old when President Nixon left office
May I say WOW! Gosh, didn't knew so MUCH happenned in just 30 years!
:P
10-4
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
It is said that after the storm comes the times of calm weather... And once there was someone who said that there were deep trials that two people should conquer, which will define if their lives were meant to be joined forever, or not. There have been many trials and definitively the two people in question had many things to prove to each other but mostly to themselves. They had to live their own life in order to understand the complicated facts of basics. They had to conquer the pain that threatened to destroy both in their own way, the actions that could not be taken back... Change. Growth. Renewal. The winter came and destroyed everything, but then Spring gives birth to Hope and so, once again the Faerie Tale comes alive... This time, stronger than ever, and soundly based on a respect that there wasn't there before, an understanding that wasn't there before and a new faith that was killed before.
I have killed a ghost that haunted me for so many years. This ghost pushed me over the edge some months ago. Trilogy was my greatest love ever, and his words made me insane, made me loose grasp of reality and made me go over the edge... The good thing, I finally acknowledged that keeping hope in a constant nothing was holding me back. Thanks to AVO I came to see life in a new light, and although things did not work out I found that I still have something left of that girl from high-school that had so many goals in life, that was so demanding with herself... that was so naive... but assertive. I fussed with all around me but relationships, I had to. After so many years I put myself first, I just hope that no one was hurt in the process... So I lived for work, my own goals have much precedence over anything else... I decoded who I am, once more. I remembered, who I wanted to be, what was right, what was wrong... I loved myself so much, I don't know why I allowed myself to get lost to the will of my ghost... a stupid, flawed idea... For more than 13 years, chained to a thought... The illusion of perfect. Perfect was all along within me. And perfect was all along on my face.
Last week I began to make sense with my life, after putting other pieces in the right place. Giving is how you take. Being myself is the best I could do, back then at high-school, and now. And the great mystery is, rediscovering and loving myself I have also fallen into truth. An epiphany, you may think... I needed not to look for love, it was always at my side. He had to learn things, to quench the tainted past he had... to learn about letting go, about giving without receiving, about humility and fairness and truth itself. It has been a long journey, but he made it. Alone. And I admire that he gained strenght of character, a will to live, and on the way, he made himself a good man. So, my dear Groundel has finally found a home within me. He earned it after so long. His betrayal always there to remind him of what not to do, of what he was and should never be again.
He did not ask me, in fact he had given up on me. And it was such a deligtful surprise, just saying the words... "Let's get married next year". That one he never expected to her from me, the feminist bitch that would forever punish him for his treason... And I never expected to forgive. But rediscovering my core it is so simple after all... And somehow, it feels so right. So, we finally decided to get married next year, by October. I want the charm to be a good spell that lasts forever, so it has to be on Halloween's eve. Of course, I am a witch. :P Ohhhh... I am so excited about it all! I was the one who said I would never marry by the catholic church, that no man deserved me... And it feels so right everything ever since last week... I feel at peace, a feeling that I had forgotten after so many years... I feel I am doing the right thing after so many doubts and uncertainty, after making myself blind to emotions... I am feeling everything now... My old self is back, and it is just amazing.
Coriolis was happy about it, and will be the godfather. Lucinda will be the Godmother. El Calvo will be the wedding coordinator. The theme, Midsummer Night Dream/faery-goth/medieval. We are connecting with more depht of beliefs, giving reason to our madness and it's all simply lovely. We have been there in our ups and downs, we have been there for a long time as support, our frienship passing the tests of distance and boundaries of situations and feelings... I showed him the right way of doing things, and he decided to follow the lead, all by himself. So... It is full circle.
Groundel the orcish priest of Flame, and Kymill the plane-touched bard... Live long and prosper!
10-4
I have killed a ghost that haunted me for so many years. This ghost pushed me over the edge some months ago. Trilogy was my greatest love ever, and his words made me insane, made me loose grasp of reality and made me go over the edge... The good thing, I finally acknowledged that keeping hope in a constant nothing was holding me back. Thanks to AVO I came to see life in a new light, and although things did not work out I found that I still have something left of that girl from high-school that had so many goals in life, that was so demanding with herself... that was so naive... but assertive. I fussed with all around me but relationships, I had to. After so many years I put myself first, I just hope that no one was hurt in the process... So I lived for work, my own goals have much precedence over anything else... I decoded who I am, once more. I remembered, who I wanted to be, what was right, what was wrong... I loved myself so much, I don't know why I allowed myself to get lost to the will of my ghost... a stupid, flawed idea... For more than 13 years, chained to a thought... The illusion of perfect. Perfect was all along within me. And perfect was all along on my face.
Last week I began to make sense with my life, after putting other pieces in the right place. Giving is how you take. Being myself is the best I could do, back then at high-school, and now. And the great mystery is, rediscovering and loving myself I have also fallen into truth. An epiphany, you may think... I needed not to look for love, it was always at my side. He had to learn things, to quench the tainted past he had... to learn about letting go, about giving without receiving, about humility and fairness and truth itself. It has been a long journey, but he made it. Alone. And I admire that he gained strenght of character, a will to live, and on the way, he made himself a good man. So, my dear Groundel has finally found a home within me. He earned it after so long. His betrayal always there to remind him of what not to do, of what he was and should never be again.
He did not ask me, in fact he had given up on me. And it was such a deligtful surprise, just saying the words... "Let's get married next year". That one he never expected to her from me, the feminist bitch that would forever punish him for his treason... And I never expected to forgive. But rediscovering my core it is so simple after all... And somehow, it feels so right. So, we finally decided to get married next year, by October. I want the charm to be a good spell that lasts forever, so it has to be on Halloween's eve. Of course, I am a witch. :P Ohhhh... I am so excited about it all! I was the one who said I would never marry by the catholic church, that no man deserved me... And it feels so right everything ever since last week... I feel at peace, a feeling that I had forgotten after so many years... I feel I am doing the right thing after so many doubts and uncertainty, after making myself blind to emotions... I am feeling everything now... My old self is back, and it is just amazing.
Coriolis was happy about it, and will be the godfather. Lucinda will be the Godmother. El Calvo will be the wedding coordinator. The theme, Midsummer Night Dream/faery-goth/medieval. We are connecting with more depht of beliefs, giving reason to our madness and it's all simply lovely. We have been there in our ups and downs, we have been there for a long time as support, our frienship passing the tests of distance and boundaries of situations and feelings... I showed him the right way of doing things, and he decided to follow the lead, all by himself. So... It is full circle.
Groundel the orcish priest of Flame, and Kymill the plane-touched bard... Live long and prosper!
10-4
RIMA XXIV
Dos rojas lenguas de fuego
que a un mismo tronco enlazadas
se aproximan, y al besarse
forman una sola llama.
Dos notas que del laúd
a un tiempo la mano arranca,
y en el espacio se encuentran
y armoniosas se abrazan.
Dos olas que vienen juntas
a morir sobre una playa
y que al romper se coronan
con un penacho de plata.
Dos jirones de vapor
que del lago se levantan,
y al reunirse en el cielo
forman una nube blanca.
Dos ideas que al par brotan,
dos besos que a un tiempo estallan,
dos ecos que se confunden,
eso son nuestras dos almas.
-Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer
Dos rojas lenguas de fuego
que a un mismo tronco enlazadas
se aproximan, y al besarse
forman una sola llama.
Dos notas que del laúd
a un tiempo la mano arranca,
y en el espacio se encuentran
y armoniosas se abrazan.
Dos olas que vienen juntas
a morir sobre una playa
y que al romper se coronan
con un penacho de plata.
Dos jirones de vapor
que del lago se levantan,
y al reunirse en el cielo
forman una nube blanca.
Dos ideas que al par brotan,
dos besos que a un tiempo estallan,
dos ecos que se confunden,
eso son nuestras dos almas.
-Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer
Friday, November 14, 2003
Thursday, November 13, 2003
Raining, raining cats and dogs, raining a soft lovely swift raindrop, raining harsh and indomitable... Rain... Damn! Most of the island is in alert for floods. I am a bit nervous since I do live in a near-flood area. Still, came to work, after all it's 5 minutes from home especially without traffic. The sky is completely grey, it feels almost as if I were in another place. Grrrr...
Crowito is doing better. Yesterday gave him a nice almond shampoo bath. He complained but not even one scratch on me. Good. The bad thing is that he keeps his intent to go to the bed to do #1. So, we've been monitoring him and shooing him off the bed. He's caged if I'm not home or if I'm sleeping. At least last night he woke me up just once. And the second time was actually a good thing, for there was a blackout and the alarm clock was reset... Crow woke me up just at the time the alarm clock wakes me up. That was very cool. :)
Not many people came to work, most must be trapped... Anyway... Toast to the King!
10-4
Crowito is doing better. Yesterday gave him a nice almond shampoo bath. He complained but not even one scratch on me. Good. The bad thing is that he keeps his intent to go to the bed to do #1. So, we've been monitoring him and shooing him off the bed. He's caged if I'm not home or if I'm sleeping. At least last night he woke me up just once. And the second time was actually a good thing, for there was a blackout and the alarm clock was reset... Crow woke me up just at the time the alarm clock wakes me up. That was very cool. :)
Not many people came to work, most must be trapped... Anyway... Toast to the King!
10-4
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
So, yesterday started with some excitement… Crow got sick, an urinary tract obstruction (just like his brother Kyone) so I had to take him to the vet in the afternoon. During the morning Groundel went to an interview at a very very cool store, fingers crossed to see if he gets that job. He needs it. He is breaking his back on the auto parts warehouse where he works. Waiting on that I painted a little memento for the receptionist at work, who asked me for a décor for her office's door. So, did a pair of girls praying, on a 18x24 cardboard. That turned up great.
In the afternoon, went to get funds for the vet, since I am beyond broke. I was lucky my aunt gave me the 10 box I needed. So, off to the vet… The place was almost empty (miracles, miracles) since it was a holiday and it was raining cats and dogs… hmm… what an allegory! LOL Anyway, he gave 3 shots to Crow and an oral medicine that Crow should get every 12 hours for a week… That's gonna be something…
Went home to do the birthday card that I told Lucinda I'll do for Barbie, with a Strawberry Shortcake theme. Edited a picture of Barbie, dressing her as the doll (she could be a look-alike… almost a double!). Made the card's first draft, printed it and then to bed.
It was a loooong night. Crowito kept waking me up every two hours, so I opened the cage so he could go to the litter and then drink and eat a little… Every 2 hours without fault! This morning, trying to give him the medicine was war. He bite Groundel, scratched my legs, spilled everything and started to drool everywhere… Friggin mess! I was almost late for work, but got lucky as most people arrived really late because of the bad weather and the street was very easy for driving… arrived at work in just 5 minutes! That's a record!
I'm going in the afternoon to the insurance company to check on the issue about the car's window. Hopefully it won't be an arm and a leg, just an arm… There will go my Xmas bonus, whatever it will be…
Ahhhhhhhhh… I am sleepy… Hope that the day will pass fast! I want my bed, damnit!
10-4
In the afternoon, went to get funds for the vet, since I am beyond broke. I was lucky my aunt gave me the 10 box I needed. So, off to the vet… The place was almost empty (miracles, miracles) since it was a holiday and it was raining cats and dogs… hmm… what an allegory! LOL Anyway, he gave 3 shots to Crow and an oral medicine that Crow should get every 12 hours for a week… That's gonna be something…
Went home to do the birthday card that I told Lucinda I'll do for Barbie, with a Strawberry Shortcake theme. Edited a picture of Barbie, dressing her as the doll (she could be a look-alike… almost a double!). Made the card's first draft, printed it and then to bed.
It was a loooong night. Crowito kept waking me up every two hours, so I opened the cage so he could go to the litter and then drink and eat a little… Every 2 hours without fault! This morning, trying to give him the medicine was war. He bite Groundel, scratched my legs, spilled everything and started to drool everywhere… Friggin mess! I was almost late for work, but got lucky as most people arrived really late because of the bad weather and the street was very easy for driving… arrived at work in just 5 minutes! That's a record!
I'm going in the afternoon to the insurance company to check on the issue about the car's window. Hopefully it won't be an arm and a leg, just an arm… There will go my Xmas bonus, whatever it will be…
Ahhhhhhhhh… I am sleepy… Hope that the day will pass fast! I want my bed, damnit!
10-4
Monday, November 10, 2003
Saturday: Gaming day. This time, FR with Groundel dm'ing. Coriolis is still under introductory realms, trying to find my witch. Me, I'm in the abyss, facing demons as usual. It was fun, fun, fun.
Rented Boogeymen. Nice countdown of some wicked guys. My all time favorite will always be Michael Myers. Gotta love the guy.
Finally saw Charlie's Angels... What a dissapointment! Demi Moore looked fake and so, so ugly! She is shapeless! I don't know what was the big fuss about her body, she looks ugly!!!! And nothing but Drew Barrymore was interesting... I love Drew. She is real. And although she aint the pretty model, she is cute and acts impecably.
The sequel to Lilo & Stich is hilarious. Loved it. Gotta get me a cute animal like him... Grrrrrr.
Sunday, went through some shopping pains, as my ATM card is doing nothing and I forgot my checks at home... Sooooo... Mayor ouch... Silent night...
Monday... Back to working pains. See ya!
10-4
Rented Boogeymen. Nice countdown of some wicked guys. My all time favorite will always be Michael Myers. Gotta love the guy.
Finally saw Charlie's Angels... What a dissapointment! Demi Moore looked fake and so, so ugly! She is shapeless! I don't know what was the big fuss about her body, she looks ugly!!!! And nothing but Drew Barrymore was interesting... I love Drew. She is real. And although she aint the pretty model, she is cute and acts impecably.
The sequel to Lilo & Stich is hilarious. Loved it. Gotta get me a cute animal like him... Grrrrrr.
Sunday, went through some shopping pains, as my ATM card is doing nothing and I forgot my checks at home... Sooooo... Mayor ouch... Silent night...
Monday... Back to working pains. See ya!
10-4
Friday, November 07, 2003
There will be a special event tomorrow. Six planets will align, creating the shape of a star. It is said that this alignment creates a powerful force that awakens the psiquic powers around the world. Tomorrow, from 5 to 8 pm there will be a worldwide circle of meditation and praying because of that cosmic event.
Monday, November 03, 2003
Friday, my first thought was to put some wacky make-up, but then thought about all the computers I had to move to the new place at Aguadilla... That was smart. I worked like a bull. Damn! I hope they are happy, they better be! When I got home I was beyond beat! Groundel rented 3 movies, two anime and one Fangoria... I Zombie sucked... in the complete endless meaning of the word. Kiki's Delivery Service was a fun witchy anime flick. Millenium Actress was... confusing... entertaining... beautiful... artsy... loooong... nice.
Lucinda couldn't do the party she wanted to do, so that was about it for Halloween night. Spent the night in some gothic attire without the usual stares, the only good thing about it... permission to be as I am. :P Freely. Oh, big deal, I celebrate Halloween 365 days a year, so... Coriolis couldn't come either. He had to work on Saturday... Growing pains... Being a kid is hard on such a sucky corporate-industrialized word... But we cannot stop. Together, we can survive! Yay!
Oh, Saturday was a loooooong day! Well, someone wanted to have some company due to unwanted visits on hometown... So added Lucinda and co. to the group. Woke up early at 7, then to go get some info for the car (without success). Got a call from LadyMex, and so called Lucinda to join us. Went with Groundel to the doctor, ended up tuning her PC/network system... Grrrrr... Got out at 3, went to leave Lucinda where they were repairing her car, then to pick up LadyMex and wait for Lucinda at her home. Hi-ho, hi-ho, its up the hill we go... We all wandered SanGerm?n's Kmart for a long long while, and then went to visit el Calvo, who almost choked with all of our physical precense... LOL He had some current students celebrating their Bdays over his house, plus us old students... We stayed for only half an hour, since little Barbie spilled some precious Voodu gems and we felt we were intruding. So, we went to leave LadyMex, Lucinda departed with her kids and I went home... Not yet. Went to my aunt's even if Groundel was complaining that she was sleeping... I knew she wasn't. The night was young! Plus I wanted to leave some Xmast decor for her Xmas tree on her house since my kids could break them easily. So, we stayed there to have a snack, and then went home. After the long walks and talks it was straight to bed, beaten.
Woke up on Sunday at 5pm... Yes, I was THAT tired. Went to get some decent food at my aunt's, watched some tv... some WWF and Charmed, then home to bed again. I still feel I need more rest, but heck... Need to work for a living...
10-4
Lucinda couldn't do the party she wanted to do, so that was about it for Halloween night. Spent the night in some gothic attire without the usual stares, the only good thing about it... permission to be as I am. :P Freely. Oh, big deal, I celebrate Halloween 365 days a year, so... Coriolis couldn't come either. He had to work on Saturday... Growing pains... Being a kid is hard on such a sucky corporate-industrialized word... But we cannot stop. Together, we can survive! Yay!
Oh, Saturday was a loooooong day! Well, someone wanted to have some company due to unwanted visits on hometown... So added Lucinda and co. to the group. Woke up early at 7, then to go get some info for the car (without success). Got a call from LadyMex, and so called Lucinda to join us. Went with Groundel to the doctor, ended up tuning her PC/network system... Grrrrr... Got out at 3, went to leave Lucinda where they were repairing her car, then to pick up LadyMex and wait for Lucinda at her home. Hi-ho, hi-ho, its up the hill we go... We all wandered SanGerm?n's Kmart for a long long while, and then went to visit el Calvo, who almost choked with all of our physical precense... LOL He had some current students celebrating their Bdays over his house, plus us old students... We stayed for only half an hour, since little Barbie spilled some precious Voodu gems and we felt we were intruding. So, we went to leave LadyMex, Lucinda departed with her kids and I went home... Not yet. Went to my aunt's even if Groundel was complaining that she was sleeping... I knew she wasn't. The night was young! Plus I wanted to leave some Xmast decor for her Xmas tree on her house since my kids could break them easily. So, we stayed there to have a snack, and then went home. After the long walks and talks it was straight to bed, beaten.
Woke up on Sunday at 5pm... Yes, I was THAT tired. Went to get some decent food at my aunt's, watched some tv... some WWF and Charmed, then home to bed again. I still feel I need more rest, but heck... Need to work for a living...
10-4
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Ohhhhhh, greaaaatttttttt... The depression syndrome is spreading badly throughout the isle. Now Coriolis is the latest victim. Back-trip. I don't like San Juan. The capital is so full of shit, literally. It is a cold cement jungle that preys on you and make you loose touch of the real self. Hit with a brick. Sometimes money ain't just enough... It is plainly seen that God has a huge sense of humor at our expense. :p
I am feeling happy ever since yesterday. Seems that closeness to the Witching Day is kicking on good vibes. At least for a day I get to play being myself without condemnations by society. It is so good to grasp freedom even if once a year...
Seems I'm allergic to the a/c at work, since the air conducts are not in good shape. Got the almost-Daria syndrome, getting all red, face to toe until I get off work and wait 15 minutes... Hmmm...
Kitties! Many kitties! Showering kitties at Lucinda's home! Her man fixed my car's breaks last night in just 1 1/2 hours, and I bought the car's license today... now I only have the window's problem ... Little by little...
Hope there's a light at the end of the road...
10-4
I am feeling happy ever since yesterday. Seems that closeness to the Witching Day is kicking on good vibes. At least for a day I get to play being myself without condemnations by society. It is so good to grasp freedom even if once a year...
Seems I'm allergic to the a/c at work, since the air conducts are not in good shape. Got the almost-Daria syndrome, getting all red, face to toe until I get off work and wait 15 minutes... Hmmm...
Kitties! Many kitties! Showering kitties at Lucinda's home! Her man fixed my car's breaks last night in just 1 1/2 hours, and I bought the car's license today... now I only have the window's problem ... Little by little...
Hope there's a light at the end of the road...
10-4
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Lightheaded, a bit sleepy... Never-never Land is home. From mad to wicked, that's the road to follow. Carefree life seems to treat one better... Anyway... My car has a broken window, no license, and bad brakes. I'm looking for a mechanic, and hopefully won't forget to reach the insurance company.
Coriolis discovered HotTopic. He can die now. ;)
Halloween is in two days, so that should make me happy... or devious.
Set feels the spirit, definitively...
10-4
Coriolis discovered HotTopic. He can die now. ;)
Halloween is in two days, so that should make me happy... or devious.
Set feels the spirit, definitively...
10-4
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Pretty drapes in light beige adorned the wall. They resembled regal drapes of the Renaissance perhaps... The light toned down, only two torchieres on each side, both with shades in red crystal. Right at their side, chandeliers in red flickering a lovely red flame. There were flowers covering the left wall, and a nice padded stepper right in front of the main table, where layed a casket of pure white. Inside, silk lining served as a snow background to the lovely lady that rested in it. Her dark hair contrasted with the white silk. Her features were peaceful, tranquility radiating from her with its invisible glow. Her lips depicted a soft smile, an understanding smile full of compassion and serenity.
I watched from a corner, the reverence of the human behavior in such times... The despair of the mother, the hurting of the brothers and sisters and true friends, and the onlookers who went to watch and gossip later. It was all a display of tradition, an everyday event on such a place... It never ceases to strike me that in a same place parody and tragedy merges in an attempt to explain or reason death.
After a while I went to the old lady who always greeted me in her house... and to the sister that always saluted me whenever I visited... Then I went to say a last goodbye to my dear friend, smiling back at her, kissing her forehead and giving a last caress to her hair. Rest in peace. You earned it. Goodbye, Mayrita. Until we meet again.
I couldnt go to the cemetery, I am not well and right now I would be to emphatic with many behaviors... I was dizzy and even panicked at so much people in the place... I had to leave for I knew if I stayed I would just faint. Driving back home... A long drive...
10-4
I watched from a corner, the reverence of the human behavior in such times... The despair of the mother, the hurting of the brothers and sisters and true friends, and the onlookers who went to watch and gossip later. It was all a display of tradition, an everyday event on such a place... It never ceases to strike me that in a same place parody and tragedy merges in an attempt to explain or reason death.
After a while I went to the old lady who always greeted me in her house... and to the sister that always saluted me whenever I visited... Then I went to say a last goodbye to my dear friend, smiling back at her, kissing her forehead and giving a last caress to her hair. Rest in peace. You earned it. Goodbye, Mayrita. Until we meet again.
I couldnt go to the cemetery, I am not well and right now I would be to emphatic with many behaviors... I was dizzy and even panicked at so much people in the place... I had to leave for I knew if I stayed I would just faint. Driving back home... A long drive...
10-4
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
An old friend died today at 12:30pm. Mayra had breast cancer, which ended up taking her lungs and spreading internally. She left behind two children, a husband that now will learn the value that she had, and her family and friends. I met her in my first job, at HP... around 1990. She was always giving herself to others, selflessly. She suffered much due to her husband's gambling and absence. Her children were rascals who started to change their attitude when they learned about their mother's illness two years ago. She was a quiet one, always giving her ears and her heart, always looking for the bright side of things and life. She had words of inspiration at all times, and in face of adversity she stood strong and fought to the death. She had won heaven a long time ago, so I am certain she is peacefully resting now. Her life, words and dreams will not be forgotten. Forever my friend. I only regret I could not talk to you one last time. Such a sudden departure, so unexpected... No more pain.
10-4
10-4
Monday, October 20, 2003
Been sick... Like, getting used to it? If you have an enemy, wish him/her migraine. It is absolutely the worst thing to bother 24/7... Last week was the flu. This week started with lovely throwing up just before getting into my car. Since then, migraine and overall nausea feeling. Lovely and cozy. Couldnt go to work, bad start to new system week. Need to get rid off the string of bad luck! This is suppossed to be the month of witches, DAMNIT! Bedridden, sad... Taking many pills... Yeah, Arkham sounds good.
Monday, October 06, 2003
I see black, I see white
I see the darkness and the light
Life goes up, life goes down
I am the hero and the clown
(I live it up) - yeah
(Won't give it up)
I want it all don't wanna fall
(I live it up - won't give it up)
(I want it all don't wanna fall)
I'm pretty sure there must be something worth living for
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them tear you apart
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them change you
You are here to live and what you take you've got to give
(Walk your way) It's just a signal from your heart
(Walk your way) Sometimes it strange though
Life is such a game, don't give it up
Cuz it will never be the same
I'm smoking, I'm soaking
Till there is nothing left to lose
Shit stinks and really smells bad
Step into it - makes you upset
(I live it up) - oh yeah
(Won't give it up)
I want it all don't wanna fall, yeah!
(I live it up) - oh yeah
(Won't give it up)
(I want it all don't wanna fall)
I'm pretty sure there must be something worth living for
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them tear you apart
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them change you
You are here to live and what you take you've got to give
(Walk your way) It's just a signal from your heart
(Walk your way) Sometimes it strange though
Life is such a game, don't give it up
Cuz it will never be the same
(whoa oh oh oh oh) yeah
(whoa oh oh oh oh) So many different things are waiting to be done
(whoa oh oh oh oh)
(whoa oh oh oh oh) So many things but you can put your ears into the sound
(whoa oh oh oh oh) hey
(whoa oh oh oh oh) Just take your time and you will never be too late
(whoa oh oh oh oh)
(whoa oh oh oh oh) Just take your time don't try to change your fate
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them tear you apart
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them change you
You are here to live and what you take you've got to give
(Walk your way) It's just a signal from your heart
(Walk your way) Sometimes it strange though
Life is such a game, don't give it up
Cuz it will never be the same.
-Walk Your Way by Helloween
I see the darkness and the light
Life goes up, life goes down
I am the hero and the clown
(I live it up) - yeah
(Won't give it up)
I want it all don't wanna fall
(I live it up - won't give it up)
(I want it all don't wanna fall)
I'm pretty sure there must be something worth living for
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them tear you apart
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them change you
You are here to live and what you take you've got to give
(Walk your way) It's just a signal from your heart
(Walk your way) Sometimes it strange though
Life is such a game, don't give it up
Cuz it will never be the same
I'm smoking, I'm soaking
Till there is nothing left to lose
Shit stinks and really smells bad
Step into it - makes you upset
(I live it up) - oh yeah
(Won't give it up)
I want it all don't wanna fall, yeah!
(I live it up) - oh yeah
(Won't give it up)
(I want it all don't wanna fall)
I'm pretty sure there must be something worth living for
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them tear you apart
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them change you
You are here to live and what you take you've got to give
(Walk your way) It's just a signal from your heart
(Walk your way) Sometimes it strange though
Life is such a game, don't give it up
Cuz it will never be the same
(whoa oh oh oh oh) yeah
(whoa oh oh oh oh) So many different things are waiting to be done
(whoa oh oh oh oh)
(whoa oh oh oh oh) So many things but you can put your ears into the sound
(whoa oh oh oh oh) hey
(whoa oh oh oh oh) Just take your time and you will never be too late
(whoa oh oh oh oh)
(whoa oh oh oh oh) Just take your time don't try to change your fate
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them tear you apart
(Walk Your Way) Don't let them change you
You are here to live and what you take you've got to give
(Walk your way) It's just a signal from your heart
(Walk your way) Sometimes it strange though
Life is such a game, don't give it up
Cuz it will never be the same.
-Walk Your Way by Helloween
The Raven
by Edgar Allan Poe
First Published in 1845
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
" 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore,.
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore,
Nameless here forevermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me---filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
" 'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.
This it is, and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you." Here I opened wide the door;---
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,
Lenore?, This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,
"Lenore!" Merely this, and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before,
"Surely," said I, "surely, that is something at my window lattice.
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore.
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.
" 'Tis the wind, and nothing more."
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven, of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door.
Perched upon a bust of Pallas, just above my chamber door,
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly, grim, and ancient raven, wandering from the nightly shore.
Tell me what the lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore."
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door,
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."
But the raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered;
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before;
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster, till his songs one burden bore,---
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never---nevermore."
But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore --
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."
Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee -- by these angels he hath
Sent thee respite---respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, O quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!--prophet still, if bird or devil!
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted--
On this home by horror haunted--tell me truly, I implore:
Is there--is there balm in Gilead?--tell me--tell me I implore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil--prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that heaven that bends above us--by that God we both adore--
Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden, whom the angels name Lenore---
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore?
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting--
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming.
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted---nevermore!
by Edgar Allan Poe
First Published in 1845
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
" 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore,.
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore,
Nameless here forevermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me---filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
" 'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.
This it is, and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you." Here I opened wide the door;---
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,
Lenore?, This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,
"Lenore!" Merely this, and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before,
"Surely," said I, "surely, that is something at my window lattice.
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore.
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.
" 'Tis the wind, and nothing more."
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven, of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door.
Perched upon a bust of Pallas, just above my chamber door,
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly, grim, and ancient raven, wandering from the nightly shore.
Tell me what the lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore."
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door,
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."
But the raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered;
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before;
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster, till his songs one burden bore,---
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never---nevermore."
But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore --
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."
Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee -- by these angels he hath
Sent thee respite---respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, O quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!--prophet still, if bird or devil!
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted--
On this home by horror haunted--tell me truly, I implore:
Is there--is there balm in Gilead?--tell me--tell me I implore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil--prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that heaven that bends above us--by that God we both adore--
Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden, whom the angels name Lenore---
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore?
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting--
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming.
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted---nevermore!
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
This one's for Coriolis alter ego as... Snake... alias Gaston. (Yes, couldnt help myself):
Gaston:
Who does she think she is?
That girl has tangled with the wrong man!
LeFou:
Darn right.
Gaston:
No one says "no" to Gaston!
Dismissed! Rejected!
Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.
LeFou:
More beer?
Gaston:
What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.
LeFou:
Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together.
Lefou:
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
Lefou and Chorus:
No one's been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
LeFou:
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
Gaston:
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
Lefou and Chorus:
My what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"
LeFou:
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips
Chorus:
No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
LeFou:
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
Bimbettes:
For there's no one as burly and brawny
Gaston:
As you see I've got biceps to spare
LeFou:
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
Gaston:
That's right!
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair
Chorus:
No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
LeFou:
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
Gaston:
I'm espcially good at expectorating!
Ptoooie!
Chorus:
Ten points for Gaston!
Gaston:
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
Chorus:
Oh, ahhh, wow!
My what a guy, that Gaston!
No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
LeFou:
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
Gaston:
I use antlers in all of my decorating!
Chorus:
My what a guy,
Gaston!
Song: Gaston from Disney's Beauty and the Beast
Gaston:
Who does she think she is?
That girl has tangled with the wrong man!
LeFou:
Darn right.
Gaston:
No one says "no" to Gaston!
Dismissed! Rejected!
Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.
LeFou:
More beer?
Gaston:
What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.
LeFou:
Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together.
Lefou:
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
Lefou and Chorus:
No one's been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
LeFou:
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
Gaston:
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
Lefou and Chorus:
My what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"
LeFou:
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips
Chorus:
No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
LeFou:
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
Bimbettes:
For there's no one as burly and brawny
Gaston:
As you see I've got biceps to spare
LeFou:
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
Gaston:
That's right!
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair
Chorus:
No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
LeFou:
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
Gaston:
I'm espcially good at expectorating!
Ptoooie!
Chorus:
Ten points for Gaston!
Gaston:
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
Chorus:
Oh, ahhh, wow!
My what a guy, that Gaston!
No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
LeFou:
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
Gaston:
I use antlers in all of my decorating!
Chorus:
My what a guy,
Gaston!
Song: Gaston from Disney's Beauty and the Beast
Climb ev'ry mountain
Search high and low
Follow ev'ry by-way
Every path you know
Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream
A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Everyday of your life
For as long as you live
Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream
A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Everyday of your life
For as long as you live
Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream
- Song: Climb Ev'ry Mountain from The Sound of Music Soundtrack
Search high and low
Follow ev'ry by-way
Every path you know
Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream
A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Everyday of your life
For as long as you live
Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream
A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Everyday of your life
For as long as you live
Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream
- Song: Climb Ev'ry Mountain from The Sound of Music Soundtrack
The Bad:
Lucinda got conjutivitis from little Einstein. Now the girl is in quarentene...Buahahahaha. Got a call from an old friend... with some bad news... Seems that the cancer treatment she took solved the problem for a little while but now it re-emerged and started the chimo again this week, and her lungs get filled with water... Her family may take her to the States for the right treatment. Me, I have an endless migraine, plenty of stress/ansiety/depression/nervous breakdown of sorts. Work keeps on being a pain in the ass.. Where's a time-out when u need it?
The Good:
RedRose by StephenKing, really nice. Gold & Blood by AnneRice, a masterpiece as usual. Kali is as adorable as ever. I realized Vierna is 4 years old. I am creating a nice costume for the official Cratures of the Night day... Absolutely fall in love with Jafar and Iago. The Beast looked better as a Beast than as a prince.
Coriolis is getting a promotion, became the sin-eater, got another job (so now he has 3), and still gives some personality to gaston and Jafar while managing to play magic and keep the elf happy... Talk about an overachiever! Ah... Immortals...
I hope that by the end of the year the machinations of my machiavelic plan begins, so maybe next year I can sit back, smoke a cigar and say " I love it when a plan comes together".
AVO taking a turn to save mankind. Go GreenPeace! Fight the real enemy!
The Whatever:
Dark thoughts are great, odes to darkness take my breath away. Blood is alluring. Life is an adventure whether it is good-bad-ugly doesn't matter... The innocent look at each day in wonder, the sinner look at each day for something else... But the gifts come to us as BloodKisses, sweet nothings of pain makes us yield and remember that being vulnerable may be our greatest ally on the figt for power and a turning tide on the war for self-conquest.
10-4
Lucinda got conjutivitis from little Einstein. Now the girl is in quarentene...Buahahahaha. Got a call from an old friend... with some bad news... Seems that the cancer treatment she took solved the problem for a little while but now it re-emerged and started the chimo again this week, and her lungs get filled with water... Her family may take her to the States for the right treatment. Me, I have an endless migraine, plenty of stress/ansiety/depression/nervous breakdown of sorts. Work keeps on being a pain in the ass.. Where's a time-out when u need it?
The Good:
RedRose by StephenKing, really nice. Gold & Blood by AnneRice, a masterpiece as usual. Kali is as adorable as ever. I realized Vierna is 4 years old. I am creating a nice costume for the official Cratures of the Night day... Absolutely fall in love with Jafar and Iago. The Beast looked better as a Beast than as a prince.
Coriolis is getting a promotion, became the sin-eater, got another job (so now he has 3), and still gives some personality to gaston and Jafar while managing to play magic and keep the elf happy... Talk about an overachiever! Ah... Immortals...
I hope that by the end of the year the machinations of my machiavelic plan begins, so maybe next year I can sit back, smoke a cigar and say " I love it when a plan comes together".
AVO taking a turn to save mankind. Go GreenPeace! Fight the real enemy!
The Whatever:
Dark thoughts are great, odes to darkness take my breath away. Blood is alluring. Life is an adventure whether it is good-bad-ugly doesn't matter... The innocent look at each day in wonder, the sinner look at each day for something else... But the gifts come to us as BloodKisses, sweet nothings of pain makes us yield and remember that being vulnerable may be our greatest ally on the figt for power and a turning tide on the war for self-conquest.
10-4
Friday, September 26, 2003
The crypt has been cold and mossy... The air within the dephts remains hard to breath. Still living, eyes closed within the tomb but with high awareness... Dreams searching for the continuum and perhaps a sweet and sour solace. The sound of my own breath give way to silent murmurs coming from earth's hold. What is it? When will be time? For the centuries pass by and rising seems an aloof desire. Not even the need to feed gives will to the body... Once again the gentle slumber and its dream cradle suffice to fulfill the need... Body can wait, ancient and eternal it is. Dormant, silence and murmurs give way to the images that flash in a blur and gives way to confussion , wonder and pain. Alas! No need to brood on the imagery... Pointless torment...
Here I am, the immortal questioning Fate... questioning the Endless and claiming the glory paid with blood... Insanity holding on, grasping the web of thoughts and reality and mist and betrayal... Humans waste themselves, a cattle that should be ignored if only for survival of us... kindred... And we may even crave their waste...
Silent lingering... The cold walls rise and give back the echo, the craving, the mirage...
I am to sleep some more, numb my senses to the human world and wait for the time when retribution will become us, will become my own, will impale my senses and allow a savoring of extinct old blood and rebirthing new elixir of life.
Fading murmurs echo the plea that so many souls repeat, from ancient tongues to newest child...
Silent stir...
10-4
Here I am, the immortal questioning Fate... questioning the Endless and claiming the glory paid with blood... Insanity holding on, grasping the web of thoughts and reality and mist and betrayal... Humans waste themselves, a cattle that should be ignored if only for survival of us... kindred... And we may even crave their waste...
Silent lingering... The cold walls rise and give back the echo, the craving, the mirage...
I am to sleep some more, numb my senses to the human world and wait for the time when retribution will become us, will become my own, will impale my senses and allow a savoring of extinct old blood and rebirthing new elixir of life.
Fading murmurs echo the plea that so many souls repeat, from ancient tongues to newest child...
Silent stir...
10-4
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
So I'm getting in touch with my writing skills, which I have neglected for months. Need to hurry and try finishing up at least the firts five chapters of the WoN tale and put together the Cutlass Tales. A job in itself.
Finding out about the doctorate programs available at RUM and UIA. It will be either counseling or international business.
Will let go of the AIO endeavour. Must go forward, no backwards... expensive mistake.
Severed unfinished ties and jobs. Focus on rearrangement of what I must fulfill in the next 3 years.
I'm tired, sad... Doing the best I can to meet deadlines at work... Taking all my strenght and mind effort... Trying not to take things personally. Hoping this last time I'll truly get the permanency on Oct so my plans start rolling...
I need a good vacation. Trying to plan for that, rying to focus the resources so I can arrange someting, even if it is a trip to Isla de Gilligan, damnit! May be taking some days off to breathe in breathe out, but that will be on Oct most likely... Got to leave the 2 weeks off for Dec or Jan... if I dont change plans for next summer (which seems the sensible thing to do)...
Getting info on second floors... and on apartments and townhouses.
Getting info on the spots around the isle which are ruins or have a castle-like quality.
Letting imagination fly thanks to my characters... to writing and to playing.
Getting info on the gothic stuff I want and how to get it... Oh, masterplans alert!
Sleeping 10+ hours daily, and still feeling I need more... Work consuming me...
Urge to be creative... Urge to paint and set loose the Artiste forever... Ah... With only a million I could do wonders... Dream on.
I have been aloof and quiet, plots and masterplans inside my mind... Saw el Calvo and Lucinda during the weekend... but I have been with a permanent bad temper. So I've tried to be quiet and give no opinions. Spoke with AVO, barely... Whatever. We should be friends now, hopefully that statement is right. I would hate to see him vanish from Avalon. Haven't gone to the movies after watching The Medallion... Finally saw Chicago, and Harry Potter I in Spanish... that was not so bad... Saw Two Towers 2 more times, so its the 5th view of that masterpiece. Still looking for the Sound of Music.
Thats all for now!
10-7
Finding out about the doctorate programs available at RUM and UIA. It will be either counseling or international business.
Will let go of the AIO endeavour. Must go forward, no backwards... expensive mistake.
Severed unfinished ties and jobs. Focus on rearrangement of what I must fulfill in the next 3 years.
I'm tired, sad... Doing the best I can to meet deadlines at work... Taking all my strenght and mind effort... Trying not to take things personally. Hoping this last time I'll truly get the permanency on Oct so my plans start rolling...
I need a good vacation. Trying to plan for that, rying to focus the resources so I can arrange someting, even if it is a trip to Isla de Gilligan, damnit! May be taking some days off to breathe in breathe out, but that will be on Oct most likely... Got to leave the 2 weeks off for Dec or Jan... if I dont change plans for next summer (which seems the sensible thing to do)...
Getting info on second floors... and on apartments and townhouses.
Getting info on the spots around the isle which are ruins or have a castle-like quality.
Letting imagination fly thanks to my characters... to writing and to playing.
Getting info on the gothic stuff I want and how to get it... Oh, masterplans alert!
Sleeping 10+ hours daily, and still feeling I need more... Work consuming me...
Urge to be creative... Urge to paint and set loose the Artiste forever... Ah... With only a million I could do wonders... Dream on.
I have been aloof and quiet, plots and masterplans inside my mind... Saw el Calvo and Lucinda during the weekend... but I have been with a permanent bad temper. So I've tried to be quiet and give no opinions. Spoke with AVO, barely... Whatever. We should be friends now, hopefully that statement is right. I would hate to see him vanish from Avalon. Haven't gone to the movies after watching The Medallion... Finally saw Chicago, and Harry Potter I in Spanish... that was not so bad... Saw Two Towers 2 more times, so its the 5th view of that masterpiece. Still looking for the Sound of Music.
Thats all for now!
10-7
Alive
Survivor
Dreamer
Endless hope
Alien
Alienated
Fearless
Stubborn
Annoyed
Dissappointed
Trustful
Courageous
Believing
Exploring
Enjoying
Desecrating
Blessing
Loosing
Understanding
Laughing
Summoning
Sadness
Writing
Webs
Spinning
Torture
Strengt
Fight
Working
Challenge
Playing
Discovery
Beginning
The game of Life is on. :)
10-4
Survivor
Dreamer
Endless hope
Alien
Alienated
Fearless
Stubborn
Annoyed
Dissappointed
Trustful
Courageous
Believing
Exploring
Enjoying
Desecrating
Blessing
Loosing
Understanding
Laughing
Summoning
Sadness
Writing
Webs
Spinning
Torture
Strengt
Fight
Working
Challenge
Playing
Discovery
Beginning
The game of Life is on. :)
10-4
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
" Aries
You may not be feeling like yourself. Actually, you're not sure who you feel like, but the main thing is that people are noticing. You realize how difficult it is to maintain your usual focus when your attention glances off in directions that you never previously considered. Relax and reset your standards for the next day or two. This is only a phase and it promises to be educational. The things you learn will be especially useful once you recapture your familiar personality and get down to business again."
It kinda sums up everything... Was in SanGerman, now to Centro Medico...
This life sucks.
You may not be feeling like yourself. Actually, you're not sure who you feel like, but the main thing is that people are noticing. You realize how difficult it is to maintain your usual focus when your attention glances off in directions that you never previously considered. Relax and reset your standards for the next day or two. This is only a phase and it promises to be educational. The things you learn will be especially useful once you recapture your familiar personality and get down to business again."
It kinda sums up everything... Was in SanGerman, now to Centro Medico...
This life sucks.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Drats! I spent the whole weekend trying to understand a stupid program for 3d design, the only break I took just to see the League... No good sleep until yesterday... sort of. I stayed at my ex-colege yesterday, then there was this nice lightning storm blessed with heavy rain... My lovely luck... Made it home late for dinner, then as i logged to my class I realized I had to go out again and get clay!!! I needed to do a model in clay, take a photo and post it along with sketch and 3d rendition... :( God! So off I went, got home again, tryed the modeling thing, and as I went to take the friggin pi I realized my lovely cats had thrown the camera under the bed, batteries spread and missing in action... I was so, so pissed... I ended up throwing the model in the trash, breaking the papers, feeling VERY frustrated and just going to sleep. I was NOT gonna venture in the rain again. So... Hopefully during the day I'll get the batteries and hope the camera is not broken, so I do the frigging assignment... I cant believe everything is plain upside down with the class... I've been having a string of bad luck... Luclkily my car's tires have not melted yet, but the wires are VERY evident. Will try and get the new tires tomorrow... Today is out of the question... Gotta do the sketch, the modeling and the 3d rendition, plus answer todays questions... Just getting the 3d image going will be hassle enough... :( I hope I can get the programs soon. The shareware is a crap theat is making me pull out my hair...
Haven't seen Lucinda, perhaps tonight when i deliver Groundel to his lovely colege, then I'll do a small camp-out at Lucinda's house. And check is she has a microphone... And get the broken tv that has been travelling more than I do. ;) Gotta take it to repair, my aunt is bothering so much about it... plus I want my tv... Hopefully I can put cable and cable modem on Jan...
This weekend is a 50/50 for gaming. Coriolis doesn't know if he's coming, so it's almost an air of mystery, isn't it? LOL That one I have barely talked to this week... Heck, and he's the one I have talked to much... Have not been able to talk to AVO, daytime has been a drag at work, I am working at my 110% capacity, getting home fully drained... I guess that's why I am not understanding the stupid program... My cel is still with 1 minute, and the times I've been at home is for login, post assignment, go to bed... I didn't even went to see my mother on Sun, it was her B-day... soooo I guess next Sun is taken for that endeavour... Haven't seen my grandparents either. Been too caught up with work-study. My revenge will come on Jan, hopefully. I need a BIG BREAK.
Saw el calvo on the weekend, for just one hour... Everything has been in a hurry... At least I can say I survived cross-over college week! Amen...
Got Kara's drawings, need to scan them and color them. Another thing for this weekend? God, I am delayed with that, how strange! Sorry girl, just one more week? Hmm? Now, now, don't get feisty! :)
I guess I'll clone myself to be at San Juan, to attend college, and for work, so I can just run away from EVERYTHING and have some peace and quiet... They say Mars closeness is bringing bad temper on people... In me it's the oppossite. Then again, Aries is ruled by Mars... At least it is bringing me energy to die with the boots on. Fighting is my nature anyway... In a positive way...
Ah! The endless rain has given me the perfect excuse to wear my tall boots and my velvet coat. Prrrrrrfect! LOL
Now, to Aguadilla... Waiting for the bus... Cannot drive... Yikes!
10-4.
Haven't seen Lucinda, perhaps tonight when i deliver Groundel to his lovely colege, then I'll do a small camp-out at Lucinda's house. And check is she has a microphone... And get the broken tv that has been travelling more than I do. ;) Gotta take it to repair, my aunt is bothering so much about it... plus I want my tv... Hopefully I can put cable and cable modem on Jan...
This weekend is a 50/50 for gaming. Coriolis doesn't know if he's coming, so it's almost an air of mystery, isn't it? LOL That one I have barely talked to this week... Heck, and he's the one I have talked to much... Have not been able to talk to AVO, daytime has been a drag at work, I am working at my 110% capacity, getting home fully drained... I guess that's why I am not understanding the stupid program... My cel is still with 1 minute, and the times I've been at home is for login, post assignment, go to bed... I didn't even went to see my mother on Sun, it was her B-day... soooo I guess next Sun is taken for that endeavour... Haven't seen my grandparents either. Been too caught up with work-study. My revenge will come on Jan, hopefully. I need a BIG BREAK.
Saw el calvo on the weekend, for just one hour... Everything has been in a hurry... At least I can say I survived cross-over college week! Amen...
Got Kara's drawings, need to scan them and color them. Another thing for this weekend? God, I am delayed with that, how strange! Sorry girl, just one more week? Hmm? Now, now, don't get feisty! :)
I guess I'll clone myself to be at San Juan, to attend college, and for work, so I can just run away from EVERYTHING and have some peace and quiet... They say Mars closeness is bringing bad temper on people... In me it's the oppossite. Then again, Aries is ruled by Mars... At least it is bringing me energy to die with the boots on. Fighting is my nature anyway... In a positive way...
Ah! The endless rain has given me the perfect excuse to wear my tall boots and my velvet coat. Prrrrrrfect! LOL
Now, to Aguadilla... Waiting for the bus... Cannot drive... Yikes!
10-4.
Friday, August 22, 2003
This has been a KILLER week. The MsBlast virus possessed all pc's and servers, and for the whole week it has been a huge project putting everything out of the Dark Side's grasp. But finally the week is over... My eyes are fried. My brain is dead meat... This week I EARNED every penny, and more... To top it all this is the gruesome CROSSOVER week at AIO, soooooo I've been juggling 2 classes as well... Barely making it. Tomorrow Coriolis will try giving me the cd with the stuff I need to do the last project for this week... I am beyod broke, my cell is with just 3 minutes, my car's tires are breaking down on me and got a lovely phone bill of almost 2hundred because of some collect calls... Damn, no more collect calls unless I'm dying! Got behind on the loans, again... And the electricity bill shocked me again... Too much to pay, no money to do so. If this goes on I may have to think of drastic measures... Like it or not...
A birdie told me that they are suppossed to give me the friggin permanency on October. Hmmm... Could it be a red birdie called the undead birdies so they would do the task? Who knows... Maybe it was THE letter... or the red birdie... or both... I hope this time it happens. I need that permanency, so I get to do the loan for consolidation and for the house... For Dec2004-May2005. Yup, that's my goal next year. Got to get a house. Need to have my own, my land, my place. Tired of giving money for free, sort of.
Personal matters... What personal matters? Barely had time to breathe. I havent sleep more than 3 hours on 4 days in a row. I am falling to pieces.
Coriolis has been helping a lot. Groundel started college year 2.5, Lucinda learned to Buzz online, and Trilogy passed from missing to being a plain ghost. How strange...
Looking forward to see the Medallion and the League sometime soon.
Got to finish 3 assignments, so... Definitively a 10-4
A birdie told me that they are suppossed to give me the friggin permanency on October. Hmmm... Could it be a red birdie called the undead birdies so they would do the task? Who knows... Maybe it was THE letter... or the red birdie... or both... I hope this time it happens. I need that permanency, so I get to do the loan for consolidation and for the house... For Dec2004-May2005. Yup, that's my goal next year. Got to get a house. Need to have my own, my land, my place. Tired of giving money for free, sort of.
Personal matters... What personal matters? Barely had time to breathe. I havent sleep more than 3 hours on 4 days in a row. I am falling to pieces.
Coriolis has been helping a lot. Groundel started college year 2.5, Lucinda learned to Buzz online, and Trilogy passed from missing to being a plain ghost. How strange...
Looking forward to see the Medallion and the League sometime soon.
Got to finish 3 assignments, so... Definitively a 10-4
Saturday, August 16, 2003
This is cool, the top 10 movie killers...
http://entertainment.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=131100
Been bothering bodacious bride, babling bitterly before binary bipeds...
LOL
Lucinda has been borned blonde and JRo is summonning a ritual for his new garments...
Coriolis on his way to my hometown, so we play some AD&D and watch Freddy Vs Jason...
Watched Tomb Raider last week. It was ok, but too linear, too predictable and she never gets some... stupid.
10-4
http://entertainment.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=131100
Been bothering bodacious bride, babling bitterly before binary bipeds...
LOL
Lucinda has been borned blonde and JRo is summonning a ritual for his new garments...
Coriolis on his way to my hometown, so we play some AD&D and watch Freddy Vs Jason...
Watched Tomb Raider last week. It was ok, but too linear, too predictable and she never gets some... stupid.
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Thursday, August 14, 2003
OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: There is a new famous name in town. Forget the old AVO plain acronym, there's nothing implying more GOLD than the new, improved JRo.
Don't you get fooled by the rocks that he's got
He's just Josey, Josey from the block,
He used to have a little but now he has a-lot
Speed that is, zooming... blinding us!!!
;P
Yup, so I am flipping now. So? That's JRo, the 5 minute-a day alter ego of AVO. Soon movie star- rock star-business star- Drag Queen and transexual-trasvesti... Hell Yeah!
:D Tag! U R it!
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Don't you get fooled by the rocks that he's got
He's just Josey, Josey from the block,
He used to have a little but now he has a-lot
Speed that is, zooming... blinding us!!!
;P
Yup, so I am flipping now. So? That's JRo, the 5 minute-a day alter ego of AVO. Soon movie star- rock star-business star- Drag Queen and transexual-trasvesti... Hell Yeah!
:D Tag! U R it!
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Tuesday, August 12, 2003
I am feeling like a train passed over me and missed some spots like my brain and my fingernails… DAMN! Even coffee is bothering me… Back to the stage of being free of things since they are bothering me… It always happens. Got enough of fast food, now my stomach is crying out for help, got a constant burning on my upper stomach and nausea… Prescription: Back to teas and to green food. And must eliminate caffeine and sodas… Yikes! I’ll die! LOL We all die, anyway… My sugar is out of control and its making everything miserable. I am beyond tired and beyond feeling sick. At least gathered some strength to clean up the closet and at least clean the floor, but the smell of Lysol is too much… Wont even look in Clorox’s direction… So much for no smells bothering me… I hate it when I get into these stages, but hey, happens every 1-2 years… Gotta slow down and clean up my body from so much junk. Who knows, maybe even start lifting weights? Ok, that’s in the agenda but in order to do that I must NOT get dizzy. So… gotta get more diabetic pills and gotta get some vitamins since I definitively NEED them.
Besides my lousy health, been keeping track of paperwork, made many reports that were due on the first week of this month and almost finished some GOV submissions. Gotta hurry in one, deadline for the 15th.
Coriolis will be coming on the weekend to play nonstop Faerunian action… Weeeeellllll. LOL Ok, that should be something… Lucinda is still trying to get in touch with me through the net… She finally got that she must type, this is not a StarTrek communication device… Groundel still keeps his true colors with that red-violet combination on his hair and is almost finishing Parasite Eve. AVO is trying to fix some accounts but seems very happy about his speed factor... and mobility… LOL
Gotta go back to work.
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Besides my lousy health, been keeping track of paperwork, made many reports that were due on the first week of this month and almost finished some GOV submissions. Gotta hurry in one, deadline for the 15th.
Coriolis will be coming on the weekend to play nonstop Faerunian action… Weeeeellllll. LOL Ok, that should be something… Lucinda is still trying to get in touch with me through the net… She finally got that she must type, this is not a StarTrek communication device… Groundel still keeps his true colors with that red-violet combination on his hair and is almost finishing Parasite Eve. AVO is trying to fix some accounts but seems very happy about his speed factor... and mobility… LOL
Gotta go back to work.
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Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Musings on current situations…
Work is beyond being a bad deal, it is draining, unpleasant, unhappy, unappropriate, and full of envy, bad thoughts and people who just want to screw you. I am doing my best to do two things: get a permanency AND get a new job. If I stay here, I will rot. The time has come to make changes… I’ve had enough of being abused. I know I have rights, but just in case I am doing the job hunt, in case nothing can be done. I want to go work with the Feds. I want thrill and challenge, not stalement. I feel so trapped in this invisible cage and its time to burst it open and flee without thinking of anyone but me… I have move my pieces on the chess game, and the wait is becoming overdue… I just want to go. I deserve so much more than what I get… Underpaid with 4 job titles over me… And passing through so many hard times… Things must change, and if they won’t as they should, I’ll make them change.
School… Not challenging, uninteresting, boring… I think after this course I will quit. I need time for myself and this robs me of it. And if I am to do a job hunt, I must have time to do so. Intensely.
Friends… They are around, but I am not feeling too communicative. I need to figure out how to accomplish my master plan… And the first step is my career… Then get a nice place to stay… Then think of what I’m going to do with everything else. I don’t know if I should stay in PR or go. It is a big deal because of my aunt, only. Take that away and I am so in the states… So I may be moving to the Metro Area again if I get a good deal, or maybe moving to Florida. I must get off this environment, no place has ever caused so much turmoil in my life than this…
Not much left to say… No words, just knots in my throat.
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Work is beyond being a bad deal, it is draining, unpleasant, unhappy, unappropriate, and full of envy, bad thoughts and people who just want to screw you. I am doing my best to do two things: get a permanency AND get a new job. If I stay here, I will rot. The time has come to make changes… I’ve had enough of being abused. I know I have rights, but just in case I am doing the job hunt, in case nothing can be done. I want to go work with the Feds. I want thrill and challenge, not stalement. I feel so trapped in this invisible cage and its time to burst it open and flee without thinking of anyone but me… I have move my pieces on the chess game, and the wait is becoming overdue… I just want to go. I deserve so much more than what I get… Underpaid with 4 job titles over me… And passing through so many hard times… Things must change, and if they won’t as they should, I’ll make them change.
School… Not challenging, uninteresting, boring… I think after this course I will quit. I need time for myself and this robs me of it. And if I am to do a job hunt, I must have time to do so. Intensely.
Friends… They are around, but I am not feeling too communicative. I need to figure out how to accomplish my master plan… And the first step is my career… Then get a nice place to stay… Then think of what I’m going to do with everything else. I don’t know if I should stay in PR or go. It is a big deal because of my aunt, only. Take that away and I am so in the states… So I may be moving to the Metro Area again if I get a good deal, or maybe moving to Florida. I must get off this environment, no place has ever caused so much turmoil in my life than this…
Not much left to say… No words, just knots in my throat.
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Sunday, August 03, 2003
Saw the Hours and Ghost Ship... The Hours was a nice movie. Didn't understand it at first but after some deep insights by Coriolis I finally got it. Then came the ooohhhhs and ahhhhhhs. :) GhostShip was not as bad as I thought it would be. I definitively liked the beginning murder scene. And the last spirits rising scene was simply beautiful.
Went on a small shopping spree today. Got some goodies that I needed and that I've been wanting for years! Yes, sometimes u get too involved in routine and just forget to indukge the most important person in the whole world besides your significant other: Yourself.
Lucinda is now part of the cyber-world as she got a computer... Apprenticeship towards total assimillation. LOL
Groundel got some games... Parasite Eve and Legacy of Kain. Gotta get Silent Hill later on...
AVO surviving some working mayhem... Hopefully ;)
Gotta run do an assignment, so...
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Went on a small shopping spree today. Got some goodies that I needed and that I've been wanting for years! Yes, sometimes u get too involved in routine and just forget to indukge the most important person in the whole world besides your significant other: Yourself.
Lucinda is now part of the cyber-world as she got a computer... Apprenticeship towards total assimillation. LOL
Groundel got some games... Parasite Eve and Legacy of Kain. Gotta get Silent Hill later on...
AVO surviving some working mayhem... Hopefully ;)
Gotta run do an assignment, so...
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Saturday, August 02, 2003
Ooh Ooh Ooh
Everywhere I look I see rain. . .
Why am I here if you're there
So far away it's not fair
To be without you - like this
I miss you more than you know
The nights are long, The days slow
Without the warmth of your kiss
Wish you were back here with me
Cause out my window, All I see is
Rain, Rain in the sky
Everywhere I look my eyes see
Rain, rain fallin' down
Crying as it hits the ground
Rain, rain in my heart
Every day that we're apart
Rain, Rain
Falling rain, rain
Only rain, rain
The sun is strong when you're near
But when you're gone it disappears
Behind an ocean of blue
The telephone's not good enough
It can't reach out, it can't touch me
The way that you do
Wish you would knock at my door
Cause only you - can stop the pouring
Maybe I'll go outside
And walk beneath the clouds
Pretend it's you that's watching over me
This isn't the only thing that come's between us now
Baby soon we'll be - together
-Cher "Rain, rain"
Yes, I miss AVO, so what? ;) Stop staring!
10-4
Everywhere I look I see rain. . .
Why am I here if you're there
So far away it's not fair
To be without you - like this
I miss you more than you know
The nights are long, The days slow
Without the warmth of your kiss
Wish you were back here with me
Cause out my window, All I see is
Rain, Rain in the sky
Everywhere I look my eyes see
Rain, rain fallin' down
Crying as it hits the ground
Rain, rain in my heart
Every day that we're apart
Rain, Rain
Falling rain, rain
Only rain, rain
The sun is strong when you're near
But when you're gone it disappears
Behind an ocean of blue
The telephone's not good enough
It can't reach out, it can't touch me
The way that you do
Wish you would knock at my door
Cause only you - can stop the pouring
Maybe I'll go outside
And walk beneath the clouds
Pretend it's you that's watching over me
This isn't the only thing that come's between us now
Baby soon we'll be - together
-Cher "Rain, rain"
Yes, I miss AVO, so what? ;) Stop staring!
10-4
Come on baby let's get out of this town
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
There's a chill in my bones
I don't want to be left alone
So baby you can sleep while I drive
I'll pack my bag and load up my guitar
In my pocket I'll carry my harp
I got some money I saved
Enough to get underway
And baby you can sleep while I drive
We'll go thorough Tucson up to Santa Fe
And Barbara in Nashville says we're welcome to stay
I'll buy you glasses in Texas a hat from New Orleans
And in the morning you can tell me your dreams
You know I've seen it before
This mist that covers your eyes
You've been looking for something
That's not in your life
My intentions are true
Won't you take me with you
And baby you can sleep while I drive
Oh is it other arms you want to hold you
the stranger
But lover you're free
Can't you get that with me
Come on baby let's get out of this town
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
If you won't take me with you
I'll go before night is through
And baby you can sleep while I drive
-Melissa Etheridge "You can Sleep while I drive"
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
There's a chill in my bones
I don't want to be left alone
So baby you can sleep while I drive
I'll pack my bag and load up my guitar
In my pocket I'll carry my harp
I got some money I saved
Enough to get underway
And baby you can sleep while I drive
We'll go thorough Tucson up to Santa Fe
And Barbara in Nashville says we're welcome to stay
I'll buy you glasses in Texas a hat from New Orleans
And in the morning you can tell me your dreams
You know I've seen it before
This mist that covers your eyes
You've been looking for something
That's not in your life
My intentions are true
Won't you take me with you
And baby you can sleep while I drive
Oh is it other arms you want to hold you
the stranger
But lover you're free
Can't you get that with me
Come on baby let's get out of this town
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
If you won't take me with you
I'll go before night is through
And baby you can sleep while I drive
-Melissa Etheridge "You can Sleep while I drive"
Friday, August 01, 2003
Yesterday was one of those days… The first mistake was getting out of my bed. Work sucked. More problems, for a change. Even doing your thing as you are asked to do is a pain the ass… I just might give up everything and run as Luke did… I hate this place. I hate how deceitful and dishonest people are. I hate empty promises. Got home and slept for a while. Then did my assignments and off to bed again. I am so tired, and I know is mental drain… Illithids sucking my brain energy at work…
Coriolis FINALLY found a place he likes, near Rio Grande de Loiza… Ahhhhhh! That should be nice (except when there’s a hurricane). He’s trying to work that out. Best wishes sent his way.
AVO might be looking for a new job. Seems airs of change are at the horizon and is better to be safe than sorry. Who knows? Maybe it’s for the best… Maybe he can get a job nearer to me. ;)
Lucinda got a computer and wants to learn how to chat. LOL Weeeeeeell… :P
Groundel will be throwing game, solo adventures to catch up with the story. Coriolis will be playing that adventure soon, so we need to finish up some things beforehand. Been a while since I last used the Witch. And Nizzré. :) That should be fun…
My boss is supposed to come to check something during the day… And I just want it to be 4:30 to get out of here and forget about work. May be going to see The League of Extraordinary Gentleman tonight… Maybe. Tomorrow will be a busy day…
Nothing deeper to say. Tired. Sleepy. Sad. Drained. Hopeful. Loving. Missing. Hmmm…
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Coriolis FINALLY found a place he likes, near Rio Grande de Loiza… Ahhhhhh! That should be nice (except when there’s a hurricane). He’s trying to work that out. Best wishes sent his way.
AVO might be looking for a new job. Seems airs of change are at the horizon and is better to be safe than sorry. Who knows? Maybe it’s for the best… Maybe he can get a job nearer to me. ;)
Lucinda got a computer and wants to learn how to chat. LOL Weeeeeeell… :P
Groundel will be throwing game, solo adventures to catch up with the story. Coriolis will be playing that adventure soon, so we need to finish up some things beforehand. Been a while since I last used the Witch. And Nizzré. :) That should be fun…
My boss is supposed to come to check something during the day… And I just want it to be 4:30 to get out of here and forget about work. May be going to see The League of Extraordinary Gentleman tonight… Maybe. Tomorrow will be a busy day…
Nothing deeper to say. Tired. Sleepy. Sad. Drained. Hopeful. Loving. Missing. Hmmm…
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Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Payday! Payday! Yipeeeee!
And then the Bills attack leaving the pocket bleeding, moaning in agonizing despair... LOL Oh, well... Got some travelling to do, to check a f%$#@^& printer, and got to finish passing the inventory... Besides that, not too much stress going on. :)
Fate has separated the lovers for a week, but do not fair, the continuing adventures shall go on even if Titanic sank. :D Last night had an odd mix of hunting and being the target... Mental note: Do not mix AVO with Coriolis or you will end up tied up in a sanitarium... Damn, it's like I cannot escape being the innocent traveller mugged by those two. Sheeeeeshhhhhhh... Ok, so it is fun... But why must I volunteer to be the but of the joke? NO COMMENTS, PLEASE! :))
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And then the Bills attack leaving the pocket bleeding, moaning in agonizing despair... LOL Oh, well... Got some travelling to do, to check a f%$#@^& printer, and got to finish passing the inventory... Besides that, not too much stress going on. :)
Fate has separated the lovers for a week, but do not fair, the continuing adventures shall go on even if Titanic sank. :D Last night had an odd mix of hunting and being the target... Mental note: Do not mix AVO with Coriolis or you will end up tied up in a sanitarium... Damn, it's like I cannot escape being the innocent traveller mugged by those two. Sheeeeeshhhhhhh... Ok, so it is fun... But why must I volunteer to be the but of the joke? NO COMMENTS, PLEASE! :))
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Monday, July 28, 2003
I knew there had to be trouble of some sort, everything was too still and perfect these last days... Trilogy proved that he can be an ass again. Like always, following his friends opinion about me and my attitude and behaviour... He dares to try telling me when I should or should not say things... At this point in my life, no one is going to tell me what to do, how or to just shut up. If someone doesn't like me, then why they stay around me? I don't get it. Or worst, Trilogy take into account the opinion of some losers that have done nothing in their lives and that he has met recently, and as usual badmouths me in front of others, stepping all over me as only he can try to do... Well... We play in MY house, so if he hates my words or actions just buzz off. I am not into proving nothing to noone, I just state facts and if he cannot handle my voice or ideas or representation (as I am speaking for 3 people), well then it is too bad. Its been 14 years of knowing each other, and although I know him he still has much to learn about me. But... It is allright... Thanks to that I had a though in the back of my head all the time... A voice constantly repeats to me "Be yourself". Somehow, the whole situation puts many things in perspective... I am myself always... But it actually feels good to have someone that actually wants me to be myself, no holds barred. So... I am myself. My voice will always be heard. And if someone cannot handle, get off my face and get off my life. I am tired of these old fights that repeats themselves, out of the blue, out of nothing but ignorance and fear of what someone cannot understand...
Groundel... Pissed me off. He was witness to Trilogy's "ignorance" but he says nothing... When will come the day that someone stands for me? After all, I was giving voice to what we all were feeling in the gaming atmosphere... But he doesn't like conflict... Right... Like, he hates conflict but is always arguing with me... Plain simple, he cannot take sides... I was mad at him. He did apologize later on, but I still don't feel like talking to him. Ok, the Paladin is used to fighting armies alone... But that is tiresome and is kinda hurtful. And its lonely. Why is it that doing what is right means doing things alone?
Talked with AVO. Ah, at least just his voice soothes my soul... I know everything he's gonna say, but I just need to hear him, my haven, my shelter... I need him around me to lick my wounds so I can go out to battle again. This is bad... I am dwelling deeper into needing territory... And I find myself wishing for him at all times. The witch has been spellbound. Please, do not send help. :)
And finally, talked with Coriolis... Someone understands me! Of course. LOL At least he lifted my evil thoughts and once again engaged in the game of having fun at humanity's expense.
Right now I am not so mad... or angry... I'm ok I guess... I allow things to affect me, things that should not matter but that they do... Nothing a good night sleep cannot fix.
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Groundel... Pissed me off. He was witness to Trilogy's "ignorance" but he says nothing... When will come the day that someone stands for me? After all, I was giving voice to what we all were feeling in the gaming atmosphere... But he doesn't like conflict... Right... Like, he hates conflict but is always arguing with me... Plain simple, he cannot take sides... I was mad at him. He did apologize later on, but I still don't feel like talking to him. Ok, the Paladin is used to fighting armies alone... But that is tiresome and is kinda hurtful. And its lonely. Why is it that doing what is right means doing things alone?
Talked with AVO. Ah, at least just his voice soothes my soul... I know everything he's gonna say, but I just need to hear him, my haven, my shelter... I need him around me to lick my wounds so I can go out to battle again. This is bad... I am dwelling deeper into needing territory... And I find myself wishing for him at all times. The witch has been spellbound. Please, do not send help. :)
And finally, talked with Coriolis... Someone understands me! Of course. LOL At least he lifted my evil thoughts and once again engaged in the game of having fun at humanity's expense.
Right now I am not so mad... or angry... I'm ok I guess... I allow things to affect me, things that should not matter but that they do... Nothing a good night sleep cannot fix.
10-4
Finally visited El Calvo. It was quite a while... Helped with some internet issues. :) Wanted to go visit Lucinda but it was kinda late so went back home to do some assignments. Playing with Fireworks, oh, so it actually has the same features as Photoshop... I just need to the get the hang of it... Gotta update things for class, kinda haven't... Ahhhh... Jugling things so it all makes sense...
AVO mobile... LOL That message is simply hilarious. :D He better be mobile.
Groundel happy after the surprise b-day celebration on Sat. Since I couldn't get a cake or gather people on Fri he thought I would do nothing special this year. Ha! At least Coriolis volunteered with a cake... a friggin sugarless strawberry cake that changed our lives forever (now, THAT was a treat!)... Trilogy DMed the Greyhawk adventure, then after a short break I started DMing a Forgotten Realms/ Ravenloft adventure. So it was non-stop play since 1pm to 2am... The need was satisfied... For now...
No signs of life from Lucinda. Where is she? Did she died? Was she abducted by aliens? Is she chained up in a dungeon? The season finale on the next episode of Lost in Daze...
Kara and Michael have been silent. Hope they are ok. :)
Zordak was online, and exchanged some ooohhhhs and ahhhhhs Blasts from the Past...
Haven't watched TV in the last 2 weeks... I wonder if the new season of Andromeda started...
That's it for the weekly news. Stay tuned for more...
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AVO mobile... LOL That message is simply hilarious. :D He better be mobile.
Groundel happy after the surprise b-day celebration on Sat. Since I couldn't get a cake or gather people on Fri he thought I would do nothing special this year. Ha! At least Coriolis volunteered with a cake... a friggin sugarless strawberry cake that changed our lives forever (now, THAT was a treat!)... Trilogy DMed the Greyhawk adventure, then after a short break I started DMing a Forgotten Realms/ Ravenloft adventure. So it was non-stop play since 1pm to 2am... The need was satisfied... For now...
No signs of life from Lucinda. Where is she? Did she died? Was she abducted by aliens? Is she chained up in a dungeon? The season finale on the next episode of Lost in Daze...
Kara and Michael have been silent. Hope they are ok. :)
Zordak was online, and exchanged some ooohhhhs and ahhhhhs Blasts from the Past...
Haven't watched TV in the last 2 weeks... I wonder if the new season of Andromeda started...
That's it for the weekly news. Stay tuned for more...
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Saturday, July 26, 2003
It is critical to serve others, to contribute actively to others' well-being. I often tell practitioners that they should adopt the following principle: regarding one's own personal needs, there should be as little involvement or obligation as possible. But regarding service to others, there should be as many possible involvements and obligations as possible. This should be the ideal of a spiritual person.
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Friday, July 25, 2003
Cleaning up the whole place, throwing away stuff and doing homework... What a Nerd! LOL
Today is Groundel's Birthday... So Happy B-day, big fella! U r getting ooooooollllldddddddd! Not that he looks older, he looks as if he were a college boy, damnit! Grrrr... Purple hair and everything... :)
Login off to go do some last minute shopping and hopefully to do something fun.
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Today is Groundel's Birthday... So Happy B-day, big fella! U r getting ooooooollllldddddddd! Not that he looks older, he looks as if he were a college boy, damnit! Grrrr... Purple hair and everything... :)
Login off to go do some last minute shopping and hopefully to do something fun.
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I JUST DELETED MY WHOLE NEW POST... I AM SLEEPY AND WRITTING STUPID. I'LL WRITE TOMORROW OR DURING THE DAY...
BTW Pirates of the Caribbean rocked! Great special effects and great fighting/swashbuckling scenes that makes you remember the Princess Bride and such classics... Loved Sparrow... Captain Sparrow. :)
Played with the digicam, took some pics to start my new forced collection for montages... then tried to start my assignment but got sidetracked with Gangs of NY and another weird movie... Equillibrium? Whatever...
Talked with Coriolis, chatted a bit with AVO (I hope he went to sleep without being mad at me), and tried to contact Diva and MexicanLady without success...
The Sandman awaits...
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BTW Pirates of the Caribbean rocked! Great special effects and great fighting/swashbuckling scenes that makes you remember the Princess Bride and such classics... Loved Sparrow... Captain Sparrow. :)
Played with the digicam, took some pics to start my new forced collection for montages... then tried to start my assignment but got sidetracked with Gangs of NY and another weird movie... Equillibrium? Whatever...
Talked with Coriolis, chatted a bit with AVO (I hope he went to sleep without being mad at me), and tried to contact Diva and MexicanLady without success...
The Sandman awaits...
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Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Been a bit away from technology, entering into reality and brushing with imagery of epiphany...
Been deep into reverie, getting the history of probability and casualty, adding up penalty...
Been wandering ecstasy, skimpy touch of blasphemy in heavenly heraldry...
Get it?
So... Lucinda has been quiet, Coriolis has been having too much fun at my expense, Groundel is getting older by Friday and AVO...
Hmmmm...
~How wonderful life is, now he's back in my world... ~
Yes, once again he's making life simply perfect with his not so humble presence. Need I say more? :)
10-4
Been deep into reverie, getting the history of probability and casualty, adding up penalty...
Been wandering ecstasy, skimpy touch of blasphemy in heavenly heraldry...
Get it?
So... Lucinda has been quiet, Coriolis has been having too much fun at my expense, Groundel is getting older by Friday and AVO...
Hmmmm...
~How wonderful life is, now he's back in my world... ~
Yes, once again he's making life simply perfect with his not so humble presence. Need I say more? :)
10-4
I used to be so in control
But reality is losing its hold
Now I don't know where to begin
Just look at the state that I'm in
My mind is in total decay
I'm coming to take you away
There's nothing more that I can do
This maniac's in love with you
Your biggest fear has just come true
This maniac's in love with you
My heart has been strapped in a straight jacket love
The therapy boys say it fits like glove
I'm grossing the line in my brain
The line between pleasure and pain
It takes all I've got to survive
This madness will eat me alive
There's nothing more that I can do
Your biggest fear has just come true
This maniac's in love with you
I'm all locked up inside of you
I just don't know where to begin
Just look at the state that I'm in
My mind is total decay
I'm coming to take you away
There's nothing more that you can do
This maniac's in love with you
Your biggest fear has just come true
This maniac's in love with you
There's nothing more that you can do
This maniac's in love with you
-Alice Cooper, "This maniac is in love with you"
But reality is losing its hold
Now I don't know where to begin
Just look at the state that I'm in
My mind is in total decay
I'm coming to take you away
There's nothing more that I can do
This maniac's in love with you
Your biggest fear has just come true
This maniac's in love with you
My heart has been strapped in a straight jacket love
The therapy boys say it fits like glove
I'm grossing the line in my brain
The line between pleasure and pain
It takes all I've got to survive
This madness will eat me alive
There's nothing more that I can do
Your biggest fear has just come true
This maniac's in love with you
I'm all locked up inside of you
I just don't know where to begin
Just look at the state that I'm in
My mind is total decay
I'm coming to take you away
There's nothing more that you can do
This maniac's in love with you
Your biggest fear has just come true
This maniac's in love with you
There's nothing more that you can do
This maniac's in love with you
-Alice Cooper, "This maniac is in love with you"
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year, you can find it here
Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
So I called up the Captain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis
Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
but you can never leave!
- The Eagles, "Hotel California"
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year, you can find it here
Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
So I called up the Captain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis
Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
but you can never leave!
- The Eagles, "Hotel California"
Monday, July 21, 2003
Sunday, July 20, 2003
Had a system crash. Hopefully wont loose all my data... or every one of you will hear the scream... This sucks... More omens so I leave online school... Day went fast, dyed my hair and dyed Groundel's hair, then went to auntie's and gransim's, and then thanks to heavy rain went home... The PC wouldnt load so I guess it died on me... I NEED A TECHNICIAN! Er... wait... I AM a technician... This sucks so much! I took days off and now gotta spend some dealing with resurrecting a friggin PC... God has a sense of humor...
10-4
10-4
Saturday, July 19, 2003
Ok, I'm beat. I am too old to loose sleep like this... You know, thousands of years must finally take a toll on a mortal embodiment of a goddess... Last night spent some hours on the net until 3am... And woke up at 9:30 to call the vet and make a VIP appointment for Set... Yup, he will become gay on Monday. Yippeeeeee! Went to the post office and finally got the books for my class, AND a very important letter from Kara. Yes, IT FINALLY ARRIVED! :P
Ok, I will answer one question here just for the general knowledge of people who knows nothing about hair coloring... To get out of this world colors on your hair you must bleach. Not if you are blond or have natural white, but from light brown to black: BLEACH. Then run get your colors. Use Manic Panic, it stays on for 4 weeks (6 in lighter shade). I've been using Vampire Red for two years now, my hair has adopted it as a natural color... I only do my roots every 6 weeks, bleach them then color the entire hair so the color is refreshed and bright. Do wear black, as it stains permanently any clothing or surface it touches. :) Any questions, just ask. For the violet hair with green straks, I would recommend you do your purple hair, then wait a week and do bold highlights of 1-2 inches, and die the highlights in green (since u already bleached you should get a fairly light blond on the hair, so the green will stick nicely). For bleaching I use Dark and Lovely, as my hair is black hair and naturally wavy and stubborn. After coloring you should leave it as long as 4 hours... sometimes I let it stay overnight so the color really sets in. Rinse it out and do apply a nice conditioner to your hair (I use a hair repair treatment or a moisturizer for extremely damaged hair... ). Blow dry or do some rollers and voila! Perfect unnatural hair. :) Hope this helps, Kara!
Ok... so where was I? After getting the letter, the books and many bills... Went to my aunts for supper, and then took her to my grandsims house. Left her there to do some must-buy-essentials shopping. Ahhhh! Found this great sky with sunflowers cover for my table for just 1.50... Yes, I am a sucker for sunflowers and bargains... Ran back to my grandsim's house and stayed until the night crept above us. Delivered my auntie and ran home to fulfill my scholastic destiny... Which I still haven't... I am so sleepy, tired and unhumanly hungry. I was gonna do my hair tonight, but I'm too tired... That's tomorrow's quest.
Coriolis finally sticked with the elf and still seems happily ever after... He was house-hunting today, becoming one of those anoyying people that stare at maps while driving... Hmmm...
Trilogy still missing in action. Footsteps followed by Lucinda...
Groundel procrastinated the laundry... And has been watching movies.
AVO kinda busy with his gig tonight... Maybe some peace dealings can be performed to stop a certain war from destroying everything... At least we are talking. Baby steps... :)
Back to school now. On a Saturday... Pathethic little me... I am convincing myself I am very, very suicidal and lunatic if I think I can do all this and also start a doctorate...
Gotta grab some food...
10-4
Ok, I will answer one question here just for the general knowledge of people who knows nothing about hair coloring... To get out of this world colors on your hair you must bleach. Not if you are blond or have natural white, but from light brown to black: BLEACH. Then run get your colors. Use Manic Panic, it stays on for 4 weeks (6 in lighter shade). I've been using Vampire Red for two years now, my hair has adopted it as a natural color... I only do my roots every 6 weeks, bleach them then color the entire hair so the color is refreshed and bright. Do wear black, as it stains permanently any clothing or surface it touches. :) Any questions, just ask. For the violet hair with green straks, I would recommend you do your purple hair, then wait a week and do bold highlights of 1-2 inches, and die the highlights in green (since u already bleached you should get a fairly light blond on the hair, so the green will stick nicely). For bleaching I use Dark and Lovely, as my hair is black hair and naturally wavy and stubborn. After coloring you should leave it as long as 4 hours... sometimes I let it stay overnight so the color really sets in. Rinse it out and do apply a nice conditioner to your hair (I use a hair repair treatment or a moisturizer for extremely damaged hair... ). Blow dry or do some rollers and voila! Perfect unnatural hair. :) Hope this helps, Kara!
Ok... so where was I? After getting the letter, the books and many bills... Went to my aunts for supper, and then took her to my grandsims house. Left her there to do some must-buy-essentials shopping. Ahhhh! Found this great sky with sunflowers cover for my table for just 1.50... Yes, I am a sucker for sunflowers and bargains... Ran back to my grandsim's house and stayed until the night crept above us. Delivered my auntie and ran home to fulfill my scholastic destiny... Which I still haven't... I am so sleepy, tired and unhumanly hungry. I was gonna do my hair tonight, but I'm too tired... That's tomorrow's quest.
Coriolis finally sticked with the elf and still seems happily ever after... He was house-hunting today, becoming one of those anoyying people that stare at maps while driving... Hmmm...
Trilogy still missing in action. Footsteps followed by Lucinda...
Groundel procrastinated the laundry... And has been watching movies.
AVO kinda busy with his gig tonight... Maybe some peace dealings can be performed to stop a certain war from destroying everything... At least we are talking. Baby steps... :)
Back to school now. On a Saturday... Pathethic little me... I am convincing myself I am very, very suicidal and lunatic if I think I can do all this and also start a doctorate...
Gotta grab some food...
10-4
RIMA XVI
Si al mecer las azules campanillas de tu balcon,
crees que suspirando pasa el viento murmurador,
sabe que, oculto entre las verdes hojas,
suspiro yo.
Si al resonar confuso a tus espaldas vago rumor,
crees que por tu nombre te ha llamado lejana voz,
sabe que, entre las sombras que te cercan
te llamo yo.
Si se turba medroso en la alta noche tu corazon,
al sentir en tus labios un aliento abrasador,
sabe que, aunque invisible, al lado tuyo
respiro yo.
-Gustavo A. Bécquer
Si al mecer las azules campanillas de tu balcon,
crees que suspirando pasa el viento murmurador,
sabe que, oculto entre las verdes hojas,
suspiro yo.
Si al resonar confuso a tus espaldas vago rumor,
crees que por tu nombre te ha llamado lejana voz,
sabe que, entre las sombras que te cercan
te llamo yo.
Si se turba medroso en la alta noche tu corazon,
al sentir en tus labios un aliento abrasador,
sabe que, aunque invisible, al lado tuyo
respiro yo.
-Gustavo A. Bécquer
Friday, July 18, 2003
Ok, is it THAT evident that I've had a rough week? Lovely description, sunken eyes and extreme palor... LOL Ok... Hard to get I am sick? Let me scream that for you, little people: I AM SICK! There. Dealing with dusty computers, spiderwebs and rain will definitively sicken you! And add to that dealing with all of you!
Working can sometimes BE the final frontier... or just the oppossite... Take your germs away from me! Stop it! STOP IT!
Ahhh... ok... So I'm back at my office... Answering stupid questions to stupid people... Turning into a nice icicle... This place is really cold, not helping me at all... I wanna go home, go to bed and see no daylight until Sunday. I feel terrible... My sore throat is taking over and the headache is making me dizzy... Two more hours... Two more hours... Eternity sometimes... And I know the schedule of the day is not over... Wonder Woman needs time off, damnit! I hope I have enough fuel in me to just do things...
Everything quiet. Know nothing of Lucinda, Trilogy or Coriolis. I know AVO has a gig tomorrow, hope that runs smoothly... he hates gatherings of tons of people and heat, but hey... Job quirks... Big deal, he can manage. He has for years. Silly me worrying...
I'm still on the " getting things" phase... trying to... I am trying to find what, when and where I did or said some things and then analyzing why, why, why... Responsability comes even if you ignore things... ignorance is not a good excuse facing a jury... So... I am so self absorved... That's the only conclusion I can get at, but that is not a surprise at all... I know it's always about me, myself and my other personalities. I pay too much attention to myself that I don't really see of feel the small subtext of my words and actions... And they can hit everyone around me with such strenght... Without being aware of it, I can be the cruelest bitch... Nothing to be proud of. I just cannot believe I have gone to those means...
I try loading into my mind all the things that happenned in the last months of my life and I cannot see a big wrong... But it seems I did a wrong... Without meaning to do it, without actually thinking of doing it... Without being aware of it... I wish I could straighten things as easy as " bend and snap"... But nothing is ever easy in life... And some wrongs are too deep and too hurtful... I am not the source of all evil, heck, I am not evil... Or so I think. I just know that sometimes I wished I were evil, so I could openly accept the blame of everything for good or bad... In my reality I am wicked and I am open to everything... In my reality I care and love and expect goodness to prevail just because it's right. My twisted reality...
I am not a martyr or a victim. I do whine much, but with no dualism on my intent, just to get it out of my chest. I whine because I get frustrated at the things I cannot change, or at my being constantly missunderstood... I think out loud things I should keep silent about... And I give my not-so-humble opinion when I should just shut up... I wish I could allow myself to be carried off by someone else... But that is not my nature... My first incstinct is to solve things myself, at everything... And I don't realize when I should back off and let others do things for the sake of doing them. I can accept these blames... I just cannot understand other facts that seem unreal... And I think, THINK... and end up in a loop that is driving me crazy... that completely drains me and shutdown my whole self... A loop that gives me no answers but more questions... And the whole process just reaps my soul. Emotional me sucks. Cold me sucks. Sentient me sucks. Calculative me sucks. Brainy me needs a break. Working me is tired. Artsy me is dying. Loving me is frozen. Warrior me... wounded, taking charge and trying to make sense out of Amorphous me.
Tonight, nursing the elder sims... doing an assignment... and hopefully having a long sleep... wishing it would be eternal... It is not about dying, but about being tired of being so missunderstood, and being tired of living in the wrong time...
10-4
Working can sometimes BE the final frontier... or just the oppossite... Take your germs away from me! Stop it! STOP IT!
Ahhh... ok... So I'm back at my office... Answering stupid questions to stupid people... Turning into a nice icicle... This place is really cold, not helping me at all... I wanna go home, go to bed and see no daylight until Sunday. I feel terrible... My sore throat is taking over and the headache is making me dizzy... Two more hours... Two more hours... Eternity sometimes... And I know the schedule of the day is not over... Wonder Woman needs time off, damnit! I hope I have enough fuel in me to just do things...
Everything quiet. Know nothing of Lucinda, Trilogy or Coriolis. I know AVO has a gig tomorrow, hope that runs smoothly... he hates gatherings of tons of people and heat, but hey... Job quirks... Big deal, he can manage. He has for years. Silly me worrying...
I'm still on the " getting things" phase... trying to... I am trying to find what, when and where I did or said some things and then analyzing why, why, why... Responsability comes even if you ignore things... ignorance is not a good excuse facing a jury... So... I am so self absorved... That's the only conclusion I can get at, but that is not a surprise at all... I know it's always about me, myself and my other personalities. I pay too much attention to myself that I don't really see of feel the small subtext of my words and actions... And they can hit everyone around me with such strenght... Without being aware of it, I can be the cruelest bitch... Nothing to be proud of. I just cannot believe I have gone to those means...
I try loading into my mind all the things that happenned in the last months of my life and I cannot see a big wrong... But it seems I did a wrong... Without meaning to do it, without actually thinking of doing it... Without being aware of it... I wish I could straighten things as easy as " bend and snap"... But nothing is ever easy in life... And some wrongs are too deep and too hurtful... I am not the source of all evil, heck, I am not evil... Or so I think. I just know that sometimes I wished I were evil, so I could openly accept the blame of everything for good or bad... In my reality I am wicked and I am open to everything... In my reality I care and love and expect goodness to prevail just because it's right. My twisted reality...
I am not a martyr or a victim. I do whine much, but with no dualism on my intent, just to get it out of my chest. I whine because I get frustrated at the things I cannot change, or at my being constantly missunderstood... I think out loud things I should keep silent about... And I give my not-so-humble opinion when I should just shut up... I wish I could allow myself to be carried off by someone else... But that is not my nature... My first incstinct is to solve things myself, at everything... And I don't realize when I should back off and let others do things for the sake of doing them. I can accept these blames... I just cannot understand other facts that seem unreal... And I think, THINK... and end up in a loop that is driving me crazy... that completely drains me and shutdown my whole self... A loop that gives me no answers but more questions... And the whole process just reaps my soul. Emotional me sucks. Cold me sucks. Sentient me sucks. Calculative me sucks. Brainy me needs a break. Working me is tired. Artsy me is dying. Loving me is frozen. Warrior me... wounded, taking charge and trying to make sense out of Amorphous me.
Tonight, nursing the elder sims... doing an assignment... and hopefully having a long sleep... wishing it would be eternal... It is not about dying, but about being tired of being so missunderstood, and being tired of living in the wrong time...
10-4
Last night ended up going to sleep almost at 2am... Missed my " lift" to SanJuan, woke up almost at 7:30... running again without breakfast, big friggin headache right now... Going to Aguadilla to get a server for a region that lost theirs... Then gotta pass the inventory in a beautiful file so I send it in the afternoon to my boss...
Yesterday went to feed my gradsim, then had to take my sister to her house ince her glasses are missing... got home at 10:30pm to try start do an assignment...
Everything else the same. No time for deep thoughts, just for keeping the flight without crashing on mountains...
Missing... understanding... feeling bad about things I didn't realized, truly... But the show must go on...
10-4
Yesterday went to feed my gradsim, then had to take my sister to her house ince her glasses are missing... got home at 10:30pm to try start do an assignment...
Everything else the same. No time for deep thoughts, just for keeping the flight without crashing on mountains...
Missing... understanding... feeling bad about things I didn't realized, truly... But the show must go on...
10-4
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Little time at school. Last night had to stay longer at my grandparents because my uncle and his wife came from Nevada. At least they will be staying at my elder's home so Mother will have to BEHAVE. :) Haven't been able to go to the hospital, and Set's wailing the whole night was definitively a big, BIG annoyance.
Lucinda appeared after work to show off her used-new Trooper. Since she already had a tv on the back, I asked her if she could take the tv that's been travelling on the back of my car for 2 weeks... So she should be taking it for repair today. Amen. I am definitively eager to get the tv fixed, so I can get the silver tv that I bought as replacement for my aunt's damaged one while it was sent to repair-land... FINALLY I'll have a decent TV. Hopefully by Jan-Feb next year I'll get to put cable... I am pretty tied up right now, plus making some plans for Dec-Jan...
Depending on Vader's choice I'll be going to Orlando or Texas, so... If I go to Orlando I'm thinking of getting to NewOrleans via bus-line... Maybe travel until reaching NJ to visit Michi at least for a day... If the deal is Tx, then Maybe I'll be enticed into getting to Vegas or Disneyland... Whatever. As long as airline tickets are paid, if I get to do some savings, maybe that can be done. I have more than 35 days I can take for vacation, and since I've had none in 7 years, that's a keeper. I hope that turns out right...
To do list:
Gotta fix Set this weekend, NO MORE EXCUSES!
Gotta do my hair, my roots are showing from miles away!
Gotta do some summer cleaning at the apartment, out with everything I haven't used in the last 6 months, the Salvation Army will be thrilled.
Gotta do some changes, tired of seeing everything in the same place.
Gotta bath all kitties... with my armor on...
Gotta complete some assignments...
Gotta see some people I havent seen in more than 2 months...
Gotta draw some girls... and some paintings...
For what is worth it, missing someone very much,... but going on...
10-4
Lucinda appeared after work to show off her used-new Trooper. Since she already had a tv on the back, I asked her if she could take the tv that's been travelling on the back of my car for 2 weeks... So she should be taking it for repair today. Amen. I am definitively eager to get the tv fixed, so I can get the silver tv that I bought as replacement for my aunt's damaged one while it was sent to repair-land... FINALLY I'll have a decent TV. Hopefully by Jan-Feb next year I'll get to put cable... I am pretty tied up right now, plus making some plans for Dec-Jan...
Depending on Vader's choice I'll be going to Orlando or Texas, so... If I go to Orlando I'm thinking of getting to NewOrleans via bus-line... Maybe travel until reaching NJ to visit Michi at least for a day... If the deal is Tx, then Maybe I'll be enticed into getting to Vegas or Disneyland... Whatever. As long as airline tickets are paid, if I get to do some savings, maybe that can be done. I have more than 35 days I can take for vacation, and since I've had none in 7 years, that's a keeper. I hope that turns out right...
To do list:
Gotta fix Set this weekend, NO MORE EXCUSES!
Gotta do my hair, my roots are showing from miles away!
Gotta do some summer cleaning at the apartment, out with everything I haven't used in the last 6 months, the Salvation Army will be thrilled.
Gotta do some changes, tired of seeing everything in the same place.
Gotta bath all kitties... with my armor on...
Gotta complete some assignments...
Gotta see some people I havent seen in more than 2 months...
Gotta draw some girls... and some paintings...
For what is worth it, missing someone very much,... but going on...
10-4
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Exhausting... Time constraints everywhere. Almost got up late, had to rush without breakfast. The nights are getting more complicated now... The addition of going over to make sure my grandfather is fed kinda disrupts the schedule, but hif he is to get better this must be done. My mother seems to be just drugging him with all those pills, all have the side effect of getting you to LaLaLand. And she is not really taking care of him... Grandmother still at the hospital, will try to squeeze appearing there today. Got home late, to do an assignment and post it. But that was done... Set's wailings woke me up in time just to avoid the dreaded red line at work... I am so, so sleapy! Just two more days... Gotta try and finish up inventory and cabling a local office... with help, hopefully... Can't go today to Aguadilla, haven't finish up with Mayaguez yet. And too much blurry vision to drive anyway... Stupid pills seems to be doing nothing to me. Another addition to the things to do list... I owe a visit to LadyDoctor, for almost 2 months... Feeling crappy, but the show will go on.
AVO completely missing in action. That says much... He just drop a line that he wants me away from his surroundings, away from his life. Always extremist to the core. Out of one argument. I have been too angry to even have a deep reaction... I definitively know how to choose them, huh?
Trilogy waiting for next game.
Groundel watching tons of movies. A friend from work got rid of all his VHS because he has a DVD now, and was giving movies for free...
Coriolis enjoying titanic meals... Food, people, food.
Lucinda... Missing but I know what she's up to...
Me... Sad, hurt, angry, mad, strong, thoughtful, responsible, tired, TIRED... workaholic and studyholic and nurseaholic (the latest addition to the list)...
10-4
AVO completely missing in action. That says much... He just drop a line that he wants me away from his surroundings, away from his life. Always extremist to the core. Out of one argument. I have been too angry to even have a deep reaction... I definitively know how to choose them, huh?
Trilogy waiting for next game.
Groundel watching tons of movies. A friend from work got rid of all his VHS because he has a DVD now, and was giving movies for free...
Coriolis enjoying titanic meals... Food, people, food.
Lucinda... Missing but I know what she's up to...
Me... Sad, hurt, angry, mad, strong, thoughtful, responsible, tired, TIRED... workaholic and studyholic and nurseaholic (the latest addition to the list)...
10-4
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
What I feel? It doesn't really matters, I am used to whatever it is. It is funny when things go smoothly in Paradise it is all smiles and understanding. One cloud and it all turns into a pitch black void without return. Once in the beginning, almost as an omen... and twice in the end.
I have alternate realities within my life's shell, and none of them is shit. It is a real pity that the person you wanted to be with could not see or understand your true colors... and would simply turn his back at the first sign of a storm. That's where true friendship is tested, and as a consequence, true love. I knew something was wrong, felt it in my gut for a time... But I was blinded by the beauty of the Oasis that I failed to see it all was a mirage... When you travel too fast everything becomes blurred and uncertain... exciting, beautiful... but ethereal. I willingly fall in that trap. I was asked to believe, and I did. But time hopping is not one of my special abilities, and so it had to take a human course... I asked only for time. Seems that was a big request. I was put boundaries to my free will, and I am one who won't tolerate boundaries. I don't need them. I do things as I feel them, and speak just the right amount of words each time... throwing out to the world genuine me... I needed not be reminded to be myself... I am myself. Always. For good or bad. For dream or nightmare. I am. My own. I don't comply to what I don't believe in. It's all as simple as that...
So complex to deal with... yet so simple. I don't need guidance, directions, commands... I need understanding and love. I don't need a physical demand 24/7. I need the passionate embrace of souls meeting in dreams if not in flesh. I am beyond some things. A pity those closer cannot appreciate it...
I could reply shit with shit, but I don't have to. I know who I am, and I know what I want. I expect perfection. I expect the best. I am to be worshipped. He who complies will have the same. But try to put boundaries to me, and it all falls down.
What I feel? A good question... with no answer. I am deeply sad, at the mud he tries to throw me, the attitude towards me, the lack of faith and compassion... I understand anger and outrage and even jealousy, but I cannot understand how you can say today "Marry me" and the next day "Have a nice life". Somehow the math doesn't add up. Because I did believe and I did love and I did give a chance... I just needed time.
No regrets. No apologies if my best ain't good enough. I am capable of handling problems. He just runs away from them. And so... Enough about him. Another one who breaks my heart. Although this time it was faster... no less painful.
10-4
I have alternate realities within my life's shell, and none of them is shit. It is a real pity that the person you wanted to be with could not see or understand your true colors... and would simply turn his back at the first sign of a storm. That's where true friendship is tested, and as a consequence, true love. I knew something was wrong, felt it in my gut for a time... But I was blinded by the beauty of the Oasis that I failed to see it all was a mirage... When you travel too fast everything becomes blurred and uncertain... exciting, beautiful... but ethereal. I willingly fall in that trap. I was asked to believe, and I did. But time hopping is not one of my special abilities, and so it had to take a human course... I asked only for time. Seems that was a big request. I was put boundaries to my free will, and I am one who won't tolerate boundaries. I don't need them. I do things as I feel them, and speak just the right amount of words each time... throwing out to the world genuine me... I needed not be reminded to be myself... I am myself. Always. For good or bad. For dream or nightmare. I am. My own. I don't comply to what I don't believe in. It's all as simple as that...
So complex to deal with... yet so simple. I don't need guidance, directions, commands... I need understanding and love. I don't need a physical demand 24/7. I need the passionate embrace of souls meeting in dreams if not in flesh. I am beyond some things. A pity those closer cannot appreciate it...
I could reply shit with shit, but I don't have to. I know who I am, and I know what I want. I expect perfection. I expect the best. I am to be worshipped. He who complies will have the same. But try to put boundaries to me, and it all falls down.
What I feel? A good question... with no answer. I am deeply sad, at the mud he tries to throw me, the attitude towards me, the lack of faith and compassion... I understand anger and outrage and even jealousy, but I cannot understand how you can say today "Marry me" and the next day "Have a nice life". Somehow the math doesn't add up. Because I did believe and I did love and I did give a chance... I just needed time.
No regrets. No apologies if my best ain't good enough. I am capable of handling problems. He just runs away from them. And so... Enough about him. Another one who breaks my heart. Although this time it was faster... no less painful.
10-4
Monday, July 14, 2003
The weekend went on with drama, suspense and many other tense moments... Coriolis may be back with his elf after all, as I foresaw (amen), and everything else in Wonderland may be just as chaotic as it must be.
My grandfather is bedridden, now my grandmother is in the hospital too because her cat bite her in the leg and she is diabetic... and old... Soooo... After "beautiful gaming" Saturday it was "visiting the sick" Sunday.
Had a small argument with AVO... Ok, not so small but let's keep things friendly. Hopefully things will be straightened up given time...
I'm still thinking of leaving the online courses, but now its Color Theory and I am very tempted to stay, plus a Boricua is in the class and may help with some issues. :) That's cool.
10-4
My grandfather is bedridden, now my grandmother is in the hospital too because her cat bite her in the leg and she is diabetic... and old... Soooo... After "beautiful gaming" Saturday it was "visiting the sick" Sunday.
Had a small argument with AVO... Ok, not so small but let's keep things friendly. Hopefully things will be straightened up given time...
I'm still thinking of leaving the online courses, but now its Color Theory and I am very tempted to stay, plus a Boricua is in the class and may help with some issues. :) That's cool.
10-4
Saturday, July 12, 2003
AD&D, from 12pm to 11:15pm... Ahhhhhh Feels so good to go back to the drug... :) Much needed break, oh yesss... Time stands still outside, and we just go to a far away place where u can really make things happen... Nothing beats this.
Coriolis having trouble with his femme... They split. He's on an emotional rollercoaster... I just hope that things get better, after all, he deserves the best.
Trilogy... Paranoid and bothered by the kitties as usual...
Groundel just being kind and polite and enjoying the stillness and happiness of just playing Dungeons.
So, we are planning a small AD&D marathon, starting the 25th, extending to the 28th... We'll see if THAT can be done... Two DM's up to the challenge, Trilogy and... that's right boys and girls, I may be back to my so-called "business"... Ravenloft and Forgotten realms of course. :) Will be working on the module and stuff...
Tomorrow I'll do some camping on my aunt's house, then will try to go see Sara or Pabón... if I dont fall uncontious... I am so tired, and feeling weird lately. Emotionally challenged, physically impaired, completely offline and very sad... I have too much empathy sometimes...
AVO had an accident, and has been on an emotional rollercoaster of his own. He's having some tough times... I hope he gets through them with a wicked smile. My dear boything: Do not complicate yourself, man! Go with the flow, enjoy the here and now and live each day to its fullest one at a time. Do not rush to next week or next month... Savor here and now. What if tomorrow never comes because there is a tidal wave coming from the Bahamas and we are all washed-off the planet? What if there is a big earthquake that turns us inside out, upside down? What if REAL accidents happenned? You are blessed, with so many talents that you put to waste because of... excuses. Your priorities should not be one above the other, but balanced. Think about it. Some things can change, some can't. You must gve in to your artsy self, much more than your job or even me. Always the certain thing is yourself... Yourself first. So there are no regrets later on. As long as there is a balance,everything will be just fine. Trust the Romulan. (Ok, bad allegory...)
Will play a little on the net, and then go catch zzzz... The day has been so draining, DAMNIT!
Kara! Thanks for your messages! I browsed some of your thinguies, will see more later on. Been too caught up in matters of time, but haven't forgotten about you! :)
10-4
Coriolis having trouble with his femme... They split. He's on an emotional rollercoaster... I just hope that things get better, after all, he deserves the best.
Trilogy... Paranoid and bothered by the kitties as usual...
Groundel just being kind and polite and enjoying the stillness and happiness of just playing Dungeons.
So, we are planning a small AD&D marathon, starting the 25th, extending to the 28th... We'll see if THAT can be done... Two DM's up to the challenge, Trilogy and... that's right boys and girls, I may be back to my so-called "business"... Ravenloft and Forgotten realms of course. :) Will be working on the module and stuff...
Tomorrow I'll do some camping on my aunt's house, then will try to go see Sara or Pabón... if I dont fall uncontious... I am so tired, and feeling weird lately. Emotionally challenged, physically impaired, completely offline and very sad... I have too much empathy sometimes...
AVO had an accident, and has been on an emotional rollercoaster of his own. He's having some tough times... I hope he gets through them with a wicked smile. My dear boything: Do not complicate yourself, man! Go with the flow, enjoy the here and now and live each day to its fullest one at a time. Do not rush to next week or next month... Savor here and now. What if tomorrow never comes because there is a tidal wave coming from the Bahamas and we are all washed-off the planet? What if there is a big earthquake that turns us inside out, upside down? What if REAL accidents happenned? You are blessed, with so many talents that you put to waste because of... excuses. Your priorities should not be one above the other, but balanced. Think about it. Some things can change, some can't. You must gve in to your artsy self, much more than your job or even me. Always the certain thing is yourself... Yourself first. So there are no regrets later on. As long as there is a balance,everything will be just fine. Trust the Romulan. (Ok, bad allegory...)
Will play a little on the net, and then go catch zzzz... The day has been so draining, DAMNIT!
Kara! Thanks for your messages! I browsed some of your thinguies, will see more later on. Been too caught up in matters of time, but haven't forgotten about you! :)
10-4
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Why must people be so unpolite and stupid? It just hits me like a brick... I always try to be nice and helpful, and then they go wham-bam. It just goes to show that at work no one is your friend, no matter how much so-call trust they have earned from you... But it's another lesson. All heading towards the X-files motto: Trust no one. It just gets to me... Maybe it's PMS, maybe I am oversensitive, maybe I'm wrong... I was just driven to tears... It is enough. Anything from foes, but from friends? Ah... That never stops. A simple word or sentence could have been less hurtful... I guess I expect too much of humans... There is no courtesy, no morals, no nothing. Apocalipse is now.
Let the Headless Horseman run and take male heads off ANYTIME!
Let the Headless Horseman run and take male heads off ANYTIME!
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Yesterday was awful... Had to spend the whole day at Aguadilla fixing and updating PC's... 14 in total... Also got some news on what my boss from Mayaguez has been saying about me. He is gonna get it... Very soon...
Today, off to San German and RUM, both to do some inventory and to gather bad PC's. Then gotta finish the inventory for Mayaguez. Tomorrow will be the whole day trying to finish up Aguadilla's inventory and upgrades... Fun, Fun, Fun... And I've got a Techie reunion on Friday at San Juan.
Yes, this week has been a load... I am so tired! Monday I arrived home and went straight to bed at 6:00pm. Yesterday did some PC cleaning & stuff, went to bed at 10:00pm... I foresee that I follow Monday's bed time tonight... I feel so tired... Tired, and angry. So that is taking my fuel...
10-4
Today, off to San German and RUM, both to do some inventory and to gather bad PC's. Then gotta finish the inventory for Mayaguez. Tomorrow will be the whole day trying to finish up Aguadilla's inventory and upgrades... Fun, Fun, Fun... And I've got a Techie reunion on Friday at San Juan.
Yes, this week has been a load... I am so tired! Monday I arrived home and went straight to bed at 6:00pm. Yesterday did some PC cleaning & stuff, went to bed at 10:00pm... I foresee that I follow Monday's bed time tonight... I feel so tired... Tired, and angry. So that is taking my fuel...
10-4
Monday, July 07, 2003
Today... At work... Setting things up to run away to San Germ?n in the afternoon and to make a disappearing act and be at Aguadilla for the next 3 days. Inventory plus moving days... It sucks. Coriolis told me he saw some ads for another job... Will check that out... Nothing else of importance going on, except I'm friggin hungry!!! Damnit!
Missing someone terribly...
10-4
Missing someone terribly...
10-4
Ok, so I will try to gather a summary of the latest news:
AVO was around, Tuesday and Wednesday. The drama, the suspense, the intrigue! LOL We had a great time. He arrived pretty late on Tuesday, so basically it was a matter of resting after a looooong journey... Ah, to boldly go where no man has gone before... Someone has to do it, right? ;) So, on Wednesday I had some plans, but the day was awfully bright... So... Made a slight change. Since conversation was interesting I kinda wandered off into Ponce... So, we visited the local mall, got lost into some mesmerizing non buyable items and enjoyed the cold environment for a while. On our way back home I wandered off... First intention was to go to La Parguera, but kinda made a turn and followed the old route I used to take to go to El Combate. We got to the area, and even if dusk was peeking I made it to El Faro... This is my absolutely favorite place in the area... The old lighthouse from Cabo Rojo, surrounded by wilderness, raw, and still defying the elements. I love this spot. Ever since high school I've been visiting El Faro... Whenever I was in deep tears I found my way there... Day or night... (Lonesome, out of this world place, crazy to wander into it at night, alone, but hey... No one said I was sane... ). There are many stories and myths surrounding the place, especially about ET and UFO's... But that is another story... Anyway, we wandered into the wilderness, caught some great sites, someone was impressed with the place ( I was quite surprised he had never went there), and many Kodak moments. On the way back we went to Lucinda's house, for some introductions. We kinda realized we had spent too much energy during the day, so the night went on breezing, delicious bliss.
On Thursday, soooouuuppppp... Well, got up almost at midday to take off to Area Metro... AVO needed to be at work before 4:00pm. Well, made it there at 3:55... Fair enough. :D I made it home as fast as I could, I was spooked because of a dream I had and there was just too much traffic. The 4 of July was on Friday, and people were preparing and getting crazy. Made it home, and went straight to bed.
Friday: 4 of July. Rainy day. Went with Groundel to see Trilogy. He was going to throw game on Saturday... After 7 years, the old AD&D group will reunite to play a new game, at least an adventure... So I had to make sure he actually did... Coriolis was gonna travel from Area Metro just to play, so Trilogy was kinda forced into it... Meeting place: My home. Somehow the thought was not too comforting... Ah, Coriolis called, making sure the plan was followed through... The joke now is, guess what the name of the campaign is? Damn him. Quite a good observation... Almost every player has been my bf at some point in life... So THAT was my main concern... Coriolis branded the gathering V's Harem. Cute. I kinda crossed fingers that no human blood would be spill, though... At night got a bogus call from Trilogy asking me about my personal status... NOT OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS, PAL!!!
Saturday: THE GATHERING. So, our little lives made history on their own. Coriolis, Groundel, Trilogy and me, under the same roof, plus a stranger. And we actually played, even defying cat allergies, thirst, hunger and jealousy. Coriolis joking with me as usual, keeping my cool and sanity. Trilogy and Groundel kinda giving out sparks of their own, but holding on to the civilized mode... But it was a successful meeting. At least there will be a second part, which is more than I expected. The group still has the chemistry for gaming. I just need an invisible dome around me and making sure I stay physically away from everyone so there are no raised eyebrows. Easy to do since almost everyone is allergic to cats, and mine are always around me. LOL My devious plan... :) So maybe next week we'll have the second game...The party has a barbarian half orc, a human ranger, an elven psi-priest and a drow thief-mage, and the adventure is setup in Greyhawk. I am the drow, of course... which has a slight case of vampirism... Shhh, that's a secret. Oh, and my father, Vader, made a special appearance via phone call. He wants me to meet the Council at Texas or Florida in Christmas... We'll see...
Sunday: Got off bed at noon. Went to my aunt's house but there was Mr. Home Improvement so I kinda left in a hurry. Went to Kmart. Went to see T3: Rise of the Machines (Arnold rules, movie sucked). Then back to auntie's place to eat. Then watch some TLC, Trading Spaces, Andromeda re-run and finally made it home. Had some turmoil on Paradise but by now things are at least in virtual suspension. Whatever. Not a biggie. Just some gaga-talk.
10-4
AVO was around, Tuesday and Wednesday. The drama, the suspense, the intrigue! LOL We had a great time. He arrived pretty late on Tuesday, so basically it was a matter of resting after a looooong journey... Ah, to boldly go where no man has gone before... Someone has to do it, right? ;) So, on Wednesday I had some plans, but the day was awfully bright... So... Made a slight change. Since conversation was interesting I kinda wandered off into Ponce... So, we visited the local mall, got lost into some mesmerizing non buyable items and enjoyed the cold environment for a while. On our way back home I wandered off... First intention was to go to La Parguera, but kinda made a turn and followed the old route I used to take to go to El Combate. We got to the area, and even if dusk was peeking I made it to El Faro... This is my absolutely favorite place in the area... The old lighthouse from Cabo Rojo, surrounded by wilderness, raw, and still defying the elements. I love this spot. Ever since high school I've been visiting El Faro... Whenever I was in deep tears I found my way there... Day or night... (Lonesome, out of this world place, crazy to wander into it at night, alone, but hey... No one said I was sane... ). There are many stories and myths surrounding the place, especially about ET and UFO's... But that is another story... Anyway, we wandered into the wilderness, caught some great sites, someone was impressed with the place ( I was quite surprised he had never went there), and many Kodak moments. On the way back we went to Lucinda's house, for some introductions. We kinda realized we had spent too much energy during the day, so the night went on breezing, delicious bliss.
On Thursday, soooouuuppppp... Well, got up almost at midday to take off to Area Metro... AVO needed to be at work before 4:00pm. Well, made it there at 3:55... Fair enough. :D I made it home as fast as I could, I was spooked because of a dream I had and there was just too much traffic. The 4 of July was on Friday, and people were preparing and getting crazy. Made it home, and went straight to bed.
Friday: 4 of July. Rainy day. Went with Groundel to see Trilogy. He was going to throw game on Saturday... After 7 years, the old AD&D group will reunite to play a new game, at least an adventure... So I had to make sure he actually did... Coriolis was gonna travel from Area Metro just to play, so Trilogy was kinda forced into it... Meeting place: My home. Somehow the thought was not too comforting... Ah, Coriolis called, making sure the plan was followed through... The joke now is, guess what the name of the campaign is? Damn him. Quite a good observation... Almost every player has been my bf at some point in life... So THAT was my main concern... Coriolis branded the gathering V's Harem. Cute. I kinda crossed fingers that no human blood would be spill, though... At night got a bogus call from Trilogy asking me about my personal status... NOT OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS, PAL!!!
Saturday: THE GATHERING. So, our little lives made history on their own. Coriolis, Groundel, Trilogy and me, under the same roof, plus a stranger. And we actually played, even defying cat allergies, thirst, hunger and jealousy. Coriolis joking with me as usual, keeping my cool and sanity. Trilogy and Groundel kinda giving out sparks of their own, but holding on to the civilized mode... But it was a successful meeting. At least there will be a second part, which is more than I expected. The group still has the chemistry for gaming. I just need an invisible dome around me and making sure I stay physically away from everyone so there are no raised eyebrows. Easy to do since almost everyone is allergic to cats, and mine are always around me. LOL My devious plan... :) So maybe next week we'll have the second game...The party has a barbarian half orc, a human ranger, an elven psi-priest and a drow thief-mage, and the adventure is setup in Greyhawk. I am the drow, of course... which has a slight case of vampirism... Shhh, that's a secret. Oh, and my father, Vader, made a special appearance via phone call. He wants me to meet the Council at Texas or Florida in Christmas... We'll see...
Sunday: Got off bed at noon. Went to my aunt's house but there was Mr. Home Improvement so I kinda left in a hurry. Went to Kmart. Went to see T3: Rise of the Machines (Arnold rules, movie sucked). Then back to auntie's place to eat. Then watch some TLC, Trading Spaces, Andromeda re-run and finally made it home. Had some turmoil on Paradise but by now things are at least in virtual suspension. Whatever. Not a biggie. Just some gaga-talk.
10-4