I knew there had to be trouble of some sort, everything was too still and perfect these last days... Trilogy proved that he can be an ass again. Like always, following his friends opinion about me and my attitude and behaviour... He dares to try telling me when I should or should not say things... At this point in my life, no one is going to tell me what to do, how or to just shut up. If someone doesn't like me, then why they stay around me? I don't get it. Or worst, Trilogy take into account the opinion of some losers that have done nothing in their lives and that he has met recently, and as usual badmouths me in front of others, stepping all over me as only he can try to do... Well... We play in MY house, so if he hates my words or actions just buzz off. I am not into proving nothing to noone, I just state facts and if he cannot handle my voice or ideas or representation (as I am speaking for 3 people), well then it is too bad. Its been 14 years of knowing each other, and although I know him he still has much to learn about me. But... It is allright... Thanks to that I had a though in the back of my head all the time... A voice constantly repeats to me "Be yourself". Somehow, the whole situation puts many things in perspective... I am myself always... But it actually feels good to have someone that actually wants me to be myself, no holds barred. So... I am myself. My voice will always be heard. And if someone cannot handle, get off my face and get off my life. I am tired of these old fights that repeats themselves, out of the blue, out of nothing but ignorance and fear of what someone cannot understand...

Groundel... Pissed me off. He was witness to Trilogy's "ignorance" but he says nothing... When will come the day that someone stands for me? After all, I was giving voice to what we all were feeling in the gaming atmosphere... But he doesn't like conflict... Right... Like, he hates conflict but is always arguing with me... Plain simple, he cannot take sides... I was mad at him. He did apologize later on, but I still don't feel like talking to him. Ok, the Paladin is used to fighting armies alone... But that is tiresome and is kinda hurtful. And its lonely. Why is it that doing what is right means doing things alone?

Talked with AVO. Ah, at least just his voice soothes my soul... I know everything he's gonna say, but I just need to hear him, my haven, my shelter... I need him around me to lick my wounds so I can go out to battle again. This is bad... I am dwelling deeper into needing territory... And I find myself wishing for him at all times. The witch has been spellbound. Please, do not send help. :)

And finally, talked with Coriolis... Someone understands me! Of course. LOL At least he lifted my evil thoughts and once again engaged in the game of having fun at humanity's expense.

Right now I am not so mad... or angry... I'm ok I guess... I allow things to affect me, things that should not matter but that they do... Nothing a good night sleep cannot fix.

10-4