Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Musings on current situations…

Work is beyond being a bad deal, it is draining, unpleasant, unhappy, unappropriate, and full of envy, bad thoughts and people who just want to screw you. I am doing my best to do two things: get a permanency AND get a new job. If I stay here, I will rot. The time has come to make changes… I’ve had enough of being abused. I know I have rights, but just in case I am doing the job hunt, in case nothing can be done. I want to go work with the Feds. I want thrill and challenge, not stalement. I feel so trapped in this invisible cage and its time to burst it open and flee without thinking of anyone but me… I have move my pieces on the chess game, and the wait is becoming overdue… I just want to go. I deserve so much more than what I get… Underpaid with 4 job titles over me… And passing through so many hard times… Things must change, and if they won’t as they should, I’ll make them change.

School… Not challenging, uninteresting, boring… I think after this course I will quit. I need time for myself and this robs me of it. And if I am to do a job hunt, I must have time to do so. Intensely.

Friends… They are around, but I am not feeling too communicative. I need to figure out how to accomplish my master plan… And the first step is my career… Then get a nice place to stay… Then think of what I’m going to do with everything else. I don’t know if I should stay in PR or go. It is a big deal because of my aunt, only. Take that away and I am so in the states… So I may be moving to the Metro Area again if I get a good deal, or maybe moving to Florida. I must get off this environment, no place has ever caused so much turmoil in my life than this…

Not much left to say… No words, just knots in my throat.

10-4

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