Tired

Just tired. Missing my diva. Since her passing away life has been on hold... It is a replay of work, work, work, smile, work, work, work, smile... My wings are broken. My air lacks oxygen. My dreams are rotting and stale.

What to do. I gave my 300% to believing my lovely diva would beat the odds. Quality of life, therapies, fighting the system, love... It all went on with no moment of silence or a moment to gather strength... And then she's gone... All halted abruptly... So many changes during so little time...

From a family knowing trials and challenges, we became a family who lost a child... And so everyone that was there suddenly was not... We moved 3 times, faced and survived homelessness, and live on a rat race that is never ending and all consuming.

I am tired, physically and emotionally. I need my own place, I need dreams to grow and take me to fantastic places I dreamed of, I need restored hope... I need something or someone to mend my broken wings... wings that will forever bear the marks of a diva gone... never forgotten... always missed...

Time goes on. The emptiness and hollowness are endless and slowly drowning the phoenix... A slow choke. A pain that cannot be cured.