Birthday

My b-day… Not much to say about it. Took auntie to Sams and supermarket… then visited Lucinda who did a shitty looking flan that tasted like coffee heaven. ? Got calls from Groundel and Coriolis, and messages from Candi, Joe, and daddy. I guess not so bad… the day is almost finished. Drained, a bit sad, not much hopeful… but hanging on.
10-4

At the top of the stairs is a locked room
my secret chamber that no outsider views
for entry is forbidden prohibited
Behind this door is my other self
not a picture in a frame nor a fresh disguise
but my other self
immoblie inert and sanguine
My narcissus kisses exhale crimson breath
and pump ruby to the lip
I stand before myself not Jekyll nor Hyde
not sibling nor twin seperated at birth
I stand before myself unaccountable
I dreamt that I had feet of clay
I dreamt I crossed the seven seas
and when I woke not knowing
I knew I led the double life

All I ever needed is twice removed
I spit in my bile in an airless temper
in this vacuum a vampire reversed
This one who breathes life into me
and even dull mirrors reflect the tarnished twosome
I stand before myself not another me
Not D?eganger nor witless clone
I stand before myself unrepentant
I dreamt of sin and aftermath
I dreamt of centuries laid bare
and when I woke not knowing
I knew I led the double life

-Siouxie & the Banshees, the double life