Illfated attempts to bring Discord into the realms of reality were the display of the day. It all swirled in torment, anger, and so I keep on being slashed again and again and again. But no more. It is in their psyche that tormenting a shadow makes them strong. It is a pretention from my side to think I am so important for all of them, friends and exlovers. I'm a fool for believing and trying to make dreams come true. They all have shredded my belief in them. They all belong to each other. No one has shown compassion for me. No one has stood by my side if only to make me stay on my feet. Everything I have received has been words thrown at me like daggers, piercing my heart and killing my soul. Everything I have been shown is that it has been a parade, a parade in which I have been mocked and laughed at... no mercy at all.

A minion of God's compassion came to me today. An unlikely messenger that did what no one else has... been there with no judgement, and simply holding me for some seconds. It is true, only God is merciful. Only He grants strenght to go on, only His ever presence never leaves you alone. And although His minion went away as suddenly as it arrived, the memory remains bringing a slight smile to these dark days of loss and confusion and death.

___________________________________________________________

I follow the night

Can't stand the light

When will I begin

To live again?


One day I'll fly away
Leave all this... to yesterday...
What more could your Love do for me?
When will Love be through with me?

Why live life from dream to dream?
And dread the day
when... dreaming... ends

One day I'll fly away...
Leave all this... to yesterday...
Why live life from dream to dream?

And dread the day when dreaming... ends...

One day I'll fly away...
Fly,... fly... away

-Nicole Kidman, "One day I'll fly away"

I was a fool to believe . . .
A fool to believe. . .
It all ends today. . .
Yes, it all ends today.

Today's the day when dreaming... ends.