A dream of you, a thought in blue
Funeral realism in Baco’s withering
A moonstone well shining a spell…
Innocent guilt… A dream of you…

Tattered blessing in impish truth!
Days run away stealing a corpse,
Requiems “ post-morte” stopped in a blur
Whispering moanings calling you forth.

Carnivalesque nightmare, balloons of silver…
Annihilates cherubs that selfishly quiver…
A dream of you, a damn reclusion
Was…, will be…, nevermore… Illusion…

False prophet, visage of lies,
And dreams known, dimensional debris
Wake up! Stand! Shield the bare core!
Eyes sunken in bloody gore…

A dream of you… a thought in blue
Caressing both time and thoughts…
Bewildered on its own premonition…
Collapsing into the ethereal loss…

-Kymill the Bard, Feb 2005

And so, I dream of you… And drift between stasis and realism… Everything is slow, no thrills, no surprise… Prefabricated actions and sequential do’s. Stale, boring, same day-by-day… About to change in a lovely way… Perhaps what was will be once more… Nevermore the past, unknown future comes… Present of slow, of setting and questing… Thoughts deepen the anguish and agony… No answers. More questions. More if’s. More deliberations. More slavery. Eruptions of invisible truth burns the simple life, and so the crackled bones show through.
Wicked.
Paranoid.
Epitomic.
Solipsism
Raging drums foretell the end…
Or beginning…

I’m tired, sad, bored… This job pays the bills but gives absolutely no challenge to me… I hate being between 4 walls, all day long… I need movement, action, mental stimuli… Ah… What’s the use… Nothing interesting appears and although I try to keep myself busy I am not the kind of person that likes simply doing nothing. People tell me read something, sleep… WTF? How about really working? One thing is taking things easy, another is being part of this drama… And then people wonder why gov jobs have bad reputation… 75% are non-motivated and unhappy and doesn’t care anymore… If only you could simply do what you were MEANT to do in life… But that is another story… For me, that is the biggest problem because I like doing so many things… Event coordination seems to be the most rightful thing, painting murals… just painting… web page art, graphic art, advertising… I had so many plans and I was stupid not to do them when I had the major drive to do so. Should have taken advantage of my college years… Oh, well… No point dwelling on that…

Want a place to call home and mean it. To paint, to make my kitties happy and to be. A big challenge, maybe… But I have faith that what is good for me will come.

Lucinda is still missing in action… I hope she is ok. Coriolis appeared from an uncharted island and seems happier than last week at least… I was worried about him… Groundel keeps up the good job with the Sims and with FR:BG. Joe is happy as a bunny with LS. And auntie has been cooking good all these days.

I guess life ain’t so bad after all… Bad and worst give way to creative alternatives, and keeping belief that something good will happen after the thin cows are over is the best remedy… Even if it doesn’t fight the blues away…

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