Why live life from dream to dream? The idea is everything, but the effort is worthless. I am tired, tired of doing everything humanly possible, for nothing. I see results, whenever I am the one doing things, or looking for the right people… But no action or results coming form others… I’ve been walking in the clouds for a while, but it has been thanks to my own compromise with myself to make things work and let go of anger and hate and become a Jedi… But it seems I am the only one willing to be a Jedi after all… Pretty words and promises and thoughts are blissful mirages. I am not into words, but actions. I am not into promises, but truth. I am not into changing who I am and what I think, for NO ONE. I am PROUD of who I am, of my code of honor, of my endless faith in goodness, of my dreams and of my actions. There’s absolutely NOTHING I would change from my self, because TRUTH and FAITH and LOVE and COURAGE and ACTION have forged me.
I have been forged by fire and ice, through the good and the bad… And although MY life has not been perfect, it has been HONORABLE and I have given more than my 100% to my friends, to my family, to work and to studying. I have done so far everything that I said that I would do, and I am not stopping. I am an ongoing SOMETHING settling for CHANGE at all times, nothing more nothing less. I cannot and will not be a conformist, especially knowing all I do and wanting to do all I still want to do. If ANYBODY dislikes ANYTHING I do or say or think, from the bottom of my heart: FUCK IT. I am who I am, I know who I am, and I absolutely LOVE who I am. I am not about to change my SELF, body and soul included, just because I could be a hit in the social corner or in any other corner. I do not sell myself short, and I expect things from myself that go beyond the things I expect from people. I am hard with myself, because I have high standards. And I deserve to be surrounded by people who at least can appreciate my standards even if they go way below them.
I can go with the flow, and accept and move on, but do not expect me to try drowning myself in shit because that simply won’t happen. Because of who I am, because before anything or anyone else, I am in love with MYSELF, and I worship MYSELF and I expect great things from the only person that has NEVER failed me… MYSELF. I am my biggest fan, I am my own brigade, I am my own army, I am my own motivation, I am my greatest dream. So I feel sorry for you, the little people, the ones that obey society’s whims and commands without thinking just for the sake of belonging to something. I will always look through the glass that separates us, with contempt and even sadness… But I just can’t and won’t betray who I am for you. No matter how much I feel for you, no matter how deeply I love you… In the end, I love myself the most.
I talked about disappointment before… Yes, it comes from my greatest love as well as from my greatest friend, as well as my greatest hope and as well as from my greatest gamble... Then it goes on with the never-ending ones that are and are not all at the same time. I hate absence. I hate absence especially when it is at your side, in your nose. And then comes the circle of questions that are NONSENSE, which comes from mistrust… When there is no trust, there can be no love. It is a funny thing… Being up front, crystal clear, blunt, simple, straightforward seems to give absolutely no answers to some people… It is almost like they do not listen! They are so focused on their own beliefs and their own fantastic little worlds that when they clash with reality they can only mumble insanely the same words once, twice, and then some… LIGHTEN UP! WAKE UP!
WHAT’s GOING ON?! Whoever truly knows ME knows that I am too honest for my own sake, that I spit the truth either you like it or not. So… No mumbo-jumbo, no tricks, no spells, no illusions… Damnit, DON’T YOU GET IT? No cards up my sleeve, just me and my words and my Shield of Truth and my Sword of Justice… TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! And seems that I bring on such an entertaining show, huh?
No show. I am all I want to be, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. Believe, or not. Trust, or not. Be on my side, or not. There are no middle points. Love me, or not. I am not taking any more shit from anyone. Be, or simply don’t… But then, FACE the CONSEQUENCES, and don’t you WHINE about THEM!
The way of the warrior is cold as steel, is sacrificed, and is despised by many… but it takes comfort on the warmth of the blood that the blade spills, and its core is fueled by honor that many betray. I am a TRUE warrior. I shall never fight you while you turn your back to me, or if you are innocent. But speak with actions of evil, betrayal and deceit, and my sword will not have pity on you. Feelings run deep, but I do excel at my duty… Death before dishonor.
10-4
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