Coriolis is finally getting some very much deserved attention! Good! If someone deserves it, it's him. Plenty of good wishes sent his way! :)
About me? Took the 3-day Oracle Portals training at SanJuan. Had to make a sacrifice and stay at the AVO's place. Met the Sims, had some long talks, and had a wonderful time. Thanks for everything! You definitively made me feel very welcomed. :) What can I say, but that I am so overwhelmed by this guy? He's a true friend, and that is not a light thing to say... A friend in every sense of the world. He has just the right words for everything... I am speechless, humbled... inspired... And very grateful that I stumbled on him on my stray path...
So, the training was ok... the company from work so-so... Sleepless... tired... But very much inspired, thank you! :) My spirit is renewed. Had to die to be born again... Ain't it always like this?
"Magik" fills the senses now. There is a new light to everything around me... and I don't feel I walk alone. Changes ahead.
Inspiration.
Saturday, May 31, 2003
So… Been days since my last post… Well, days may be bad and cruel, but they can end up being just the right amount of fun. An horizon of... bliss?
Nothing, just biting a little of
Heaven...
Right here in Hell.
Flying into this Darkness,
Twirling into its deadly embrace
Turning into a willing slave…
Yielding to its mercy
While blazing up in flames
Fire growing and consuming everything,
Firestorm taking all that dare face it
Flailing with rage and might and power
The echoes screaming louder… higher…
Consume plains and mountains!
Deserts and planes!
Consume oceans and mounts,
What do I care?
Consume all at your mighty, unstoppable path…
Turn life to ashes
And make it all whole
Turn ashes to Life!
Become my God!
‘Nuff said. So… Firestorms unleashed in my world… What to do? What to do?
No stopping this fire, the wind makes it intense… Beautiful… Amazing… Powerful…
No more fears.
10-4
Nothing, just biting a little of
Heaven...
Right here in Hell.
Flying into this Darkness,
Twirling into its deadly embrace
Turning into a willing slave…
Yielding to its mercy
While blazing up in flames
Fire growing and consuming everything,
Firestorm taking all that dare face it
Flailing with rage and might and power
The echoes screaming louder… higher…
Consume plains and mountains!
Deserts and planes!
Consume oceans and mounts,
What do I care?
Consume all at your mighty, unstoppable path…
Turn life to ashes
And make it all whole
Turn ashes to Life!
Become my God!
‘Nuff said. So… Firestorms unleashed in my world… What to do? What to do?
No stopping this fire, the wind makes it intense… Beautiful… Amazing… Powerful…
No more fears.
10-4
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
CRUZADA
Vaga buscando venganza,
desgarrando carne y alma...
Secando el aliento,
(sordos gritos anémicos)
Siguiendo la ruta evidente
Donde el hierro invisible hiere
y las húmedas sonrisas queman.
Búsqueda iracunda! Infinita!
Mirada ciega y pesado andar...
Huellas desvanecidas en arena movediza,
Mentiras y verdades que pretenden volar...
Tornando al simple vientop en tormenta...
Tornando al vendabal en destrucción...
Sin rumbo... El espectro vela...
Cruzando el infinito, lentamente,
(pesar que no termina ni ofrece lamento)
tan sólo empuje eterno que no lleva prisa,
tan sólo se llena de emoción frívola...
atravesando parajes o moradas,
llevando la guadaña como ídolo
y en su espalda el filo de una espada.
Corre sangre caliente, la sed aumenta...
Corre el fallido deseo e ilusión.
Cae de bruces la fe eterna!
Y ríe a carcajadas la cruel traición.
Se ha guardado en vanos rios escarlata
Otorgando inviernos que detienen el palpitar
Mas aún la vendeta ha de continuar...
-Kymill, Bard of the Planes
INVOCACIÖN
Desconocido a tangible y real.
Sueño? Fantasma? Cómo saber?
Tan sólo su voz y su alma he tocado...
Sus ojos y su sonrisa danzan en las tinieblas
Mas su presencia ya vive dentro de mí.
Qué extraño efecto ha tenido
el doblar del campanar del olvido!
Sombras danzan al unísono, y se desvanecen
Al aparecer su reflejo en luz brillante...
Deslumbra su esencia, desfallece su ahínco.
Dia tras dia no falta su conciencia,
Su inspiración, sus detalles, su belleza...
Etérea... intangible... tan real...
Marea que se levanta y se torna letal!
Dónde moran tus brazos en el frío?
Dónde descansan tus pensamientos?
Desvarío...
Lejos de tí es un tormento
Que el Infierno de Dante rivaliza...
Mas no hay apremio sino desvelo,
Ansias y susurros de desdicha...
Luz en tinieblas, guía en la tormenta,
Ven a mí y desata tu pasión...
Que en la furia de hielo y fuego se conjure
El hechizo que defenderá nuestro bastión!
-Kymill, Bard of the Planes
This salutation to dear miss Kara Rimmer, who is having a killer time buiding up success out there in the iron jungle! Weeeeeeeeeee! Miss talking to you! Hope you get all the contracts, get rich and famous, and get to walk over everyone who stood in your way. Hell yeah! And then, don't you forget about me ;)
Monday, May 26, 2003
It's Memorial day. Spent the whole day sleeping with my beloved kitties. Yes, SLEEPING! The earth may tremble, lions may roar and... I am fricking hungry. :P Yesterday had a happy-go-lucky talk with Coriolis that cheered me up a bit. Finally saw the Matrix at 12:50am on Sun... Wow. Great SFX, FX and all X's you wanna add. A bit too linear/predictable storyline, but what the hech... it was worth the pain. Had another happy-go-lucky talk today with Lucinda. She is having the time of her life with the introduction of... The Hair Place! A haven for anything you ever wanted! Showed her some extentions and now I created a monster. She also got some purple dye for her hair... let's see if she finally submit herself to my assimilation. ;) And finally, a happy-go-lucky chat with the AVO (yeah, from now on lets keep it short, that's a way too long name! Angry-Vindictive-One... so there are no mistakes) :D. That was full of adventure, drama, suspense and terror. ;) Always a pleasure sharing time with him.
So, Now I'm off to see the Wizard and see if I finally finish today's assignment.
10-4
So, Now I'm off to see the Wizard and see if I finally finish today's assignment.
10-4
Ok... now, about the bright stars that bloomed in my sky, here are the compatibility answers... And I wonder what went wrong... :P Ok, this is ONLY for fun purposes, since I am kinda in retrospective of my whole life... The signs that crashed against me: Tauro, Leo, Virgo and Pisces. And this is all I will write about romantic life in here. LOL Again, Enjoy!
Aries and Taurus
When Aries and Taurus come together in a love affair, the partnership is a natural union of Love, represented by Taurus, and Passion, represented by Aries. This relationship is all about balance. Aries wants to jump right in and get into it, while Taurus prefers to go much more slowly. This can create a problem; Taurus loves to be wooed and romanced -- two concepts that are basically foreign to straightforward, brash, totally unsubtle Aries. An Aries-Taurus partnership can be a great learning experience for both Signs. Taurus can help Aries rein in some of the more foolish, impractical impulses, and Aries can help Taurus be more spontaneous and adventurous.
Taurus is sensual, patient and gentle. Aries is attracted to these qualities; Aries sees Taurus as their rock, totally stable and loyal forever. Taurus sees Aries as possessing that quality they want more of -- knowing when and how to grab on to life's opportunities. These Signs are a good balance for each other. Aries might sometimes play games with Taurus, playing off that Bullish laziness, or try to push Taurus into making hasty decisions, but the Bull can usually convince the Ram to slow down a bit. Aries brings excitement to the relationship, while Taurus brings security and romance. When Aries wants instant gratification, Taurus can show just how sexy and sensual slow, deliberate movement can be.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars (passion), and Taurus is ruled by the Planet Venus (love). Venus and Mars go well together; they represent the two necessary halves of the same relationship coin. The symbols are universally recognized as masculine and feminine, so this relationship is a good balance of these energies.
Aries and Leo
When Aries and Leo come together in a love affair, the sparks will fly! Both are Fire Signs, passionate and dynamic, with a healthy love of sportsmanship and competition. There is a lot of action in this relationship. Both Signs want to be the boss and problems can arise when their equally-large egos get in the way. These partners have genuine admiration and respect for each other, but they need to learn to take turns commanding and giving orders -- even when they're only choosing a movie at the video store!
This partnership is all about fiery passion, domination and who's on top -- and when! Both Signs can be impatient and proud. Leo likes to be adored and their egos to be stroked, services which easily-bored Aries may not want to provide. Aries may also be bothered by Leo's flirtatious nature -- but this relationship is always exciting. Despite their sometimes noisy differences, Aries often looks to Leo as a guide or counselor. Leo is the Lion and, with Leo, Aries can be the lamb. As in the myth (The Lion and the Lamb), any differences between these two can be overcome. Both Signs are usually respected by others and it's important that this respect exists within the relationship as well.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Leo is ruled by the Sun. Both are masculine energy archetypes, and together they make a good combination -- they understand each other because they're coming from the same place. The Sun is about the self and Mars is about aggressive energy, so they're highly compatible and can make a powerful team.
Aries and Virgo
When Aries and Virgo come together in a love match, they may think at first that they have nothing in common and nothing to learn from one another. This relationship takes time to develop as each partner must learn to understand where the other is coming from. Aries and Virgo can seem like total opposites: While Aries is brash, dominant and aggressive, always jumping into new things and almost always impatient, Virgo is detail-oriented and quiet, even shy, and works patiently toward long-term goals. Aries's energy is fiery and impetuous while Virgo's is much slower and more grounded. It's these very differences, however, that can teach Aries and Virgo so much, once they just look beneath one another's surfaces to see what lies beneath.
Early in the relationship, Aries and Virgo may see nothing but one another's faults. Virgo thinks Aries is way too brash, and Aries thinks Virgo is extremely fussy. But if they focus on one another's strengths instead, they'll discover a great deal. Aries teaches Virgo about fun and excitement, about the spontaneity that is often missing in Virgo's life. Virgo teaches Aries patience and attention to detail, the knowledge that the little things -- and moments -- are important too. Aries can teach their Virgo lover to take things less seriously. Virgo can teach Aries to be polite and value hard work.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Virgo is ruled by the Planet Mercury. Aries wants to rush out and fight without wasting time preplanning or strategizing. Conversely, Virgo wants to analyze everything and work out all the details before acting. These are such opposite approaches that strife can result. Both Signs must make a conscious effort to learn from one another's method rather than letting their partner's natural rhythm bother to the point of distraction.
Aries and Pisces
When Aries and Pisces come together in a love match, they can be very good for one another. Aries is a strong Sign; they are almost completely prey to their impulses, which they follow without a second thought to the outcome or possible consequences. Dreamy Pisces is much quieter and more internally-focused; they're the Poets of the Zodiac. On the surface an Aries and a Pisces may seem an unlikely pair, but when there's love involved, they can truly fulfill one another's needs. Pisces is very intuitive, both as a person and as a lover; Aries must take care to return this favor so Pisces won't begin to see their Aries partner as stingy and selfish.
Aries is a leader with tons of initiative. When Aries finds someone attractive they'll launch the pursuit without a second thought. When the 'prey' is gentle Pisces, Aries tends to take on the role of protector. The funny thing is, Pisces is the real protector, as the intuitive, deeply understanding partner who provides a relaxing sort of refuge for hectic Aries. Pisces is a Water Sign; they can fill any container, so to speak. They are so giving and empathetic that sometimes they can become something of a doormat -- they give themselves completely to their partners, and if their partner can't do the same, trouble may result. Pisces understands Aries in a deeper way than most other Signs do, so this can help alleviate this type of problem: Pisces knows how to keep Aries from becoming overly brash or rash. Together they form a dynamic team when they combine Aries's directness with Pisces's intuitive understanding of other people.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars (Passion) and Pisces is ruled by the Planets Jupiter (Luck) and Neptune (Illusions). Mars brings passionate action to Neptune's dreamlife. Aries helps Pisces bring their fantasies into reality. Jupiter lets Pisces help Aries tone down their overt style of operation.
And the phoenix rises from the ashes...
Aries and Taurus
When Aries and Taurus come together in a love affair, the partnership is a natural union of Love, represented by Taurus, and Passion, represented by Aries. This relationship is all about balance. Aries wants to jump right in and get into it, while Taurus prefers to go much more slowly. This can create a problem; Taurus loves to be wooed and romanced -- two concepts that are basically foreign to straightforward, brash, totally unsubtle Aries. An Aries-Taurus partnership can be a great learning experience for both Signs. Taurus can help Aries rein in some of the more foolish, impractical impulses, and Aries can help Taurus be more spontaneous and adventurous.
Taurus is sensual, patient and gentle. Aries is attracted to these qualities; Aries sees Taurus as their rock, totally stable and loyal forever. Taurus sees Aries as possessing that quality they want more of -- knowing when and how to grab on to life's opportunities. These Signs are a good balance for each other. Aries might sometimes play games with Taurus, playing off that Bullish laziness, or try to push Taurus into making hasty decisions, but the Bull can usually convince the Ram to slow down a bit. Aries brings excitement to the relationship, while Taurus brings security and romance. When Aries wants instant gratification, Taurus can show just how sexy and sensual slow, deliberate movement can be.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars (passion), and Taurus is ruled by the Planet Venus (love). Venus and Mars go well together; they represent the two necessary halves of the same relationship coin. The symbols are universally recognized as masculine and feminine, so this relationship is a good balance of these energies.
Aries and Leo
When Aries and Leo come together in a love affair, the sparks will fly! Both are Fire Signs, passionate and dynamic, with a healthy love of sportsmanship and competition. There is a lot of action in this relationship. Both Signs want to be the boss and problems can arise when their equally-large egos get in the way. These partners have genuine admiration and respect for each other, but they need to learn to take turns commanding and giving orders -- even when they're only choosing a movie at the video store!
This partnership is all about fiery passion, domination and who's on top -- and when! Both Signs can be impatient and proud. Leo likes to be adored and their egos to be stroked, services which easily-bored Aries may not want to provide. Aries may also be bothered by Leo's flirtatious nature -- but this relationship is always exciting. Despite their sometimes noisy differences, Aries often looks to Leo as a guide or counselor. Leo is the Lion and, with Leo, Aries can be the lamb. As in the myth (The Lion and the Lamb), any differences between these two can be overcome. Both Signs are usually respected by others and it's important that this respect exists within the relationship as well.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Leo is ruled by the Sun. Both are masculine energy archetypes, and together they make a good combination -- they understand each other because they're coming from the same place. The Sun is about the self and Mars is about aggressive energy, so they're highly compatible and can make a powerful team.
Aries and Virgo
When Aries and Virgo come together in a love match, they may think at first that they have nothing in common and nothing to learn from one another. This relationship takes time to develop as each partner must learn to understand where the other is coming from. Aries and Virgo can seem like total opposites: While Aries is brash, dominant and aggressive, always jumping into new things and almost always impatient, Virgo is detail-oriented and quiet, even shy, and works patiently toward long-term goals. Aries's energy is fiery and impetuous while Virgo's is much slower and more grounded. It's these very differences, however, that can teach Aries and Virgo so much, once they just look beneath one another's surfaces to see what lies beneath.
Early in the relationship, Aries and Virgo may see nothing but one another's faults. Virgo thinks Aries is way too brash, and Aries thinks Virgo is extremely fussy. But if they focus on one another's strengths instead, they'll discover a great deal. Aries teaches Virgo about fun and excitement, about the spontaneity that is often missing in Virgo's life. Virgo teaches Aries patience and attention to detail, the knowledge that the little things -- and moments -- are important too. Aries can teach their Virgo lover to take things less seriously. Virgo can teach Aries to be polite and value hard work.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Virgo is ruled by the Planet Mercury. Aries wants to rush out and fight without wasting time preplanning or strategizing. Conversely, Virgo wants to analyze everything and work out all the details before acting. These are such opposite approaches that strife can result. Both Signs must make a conscious effort to learn from one another's method rather than letting their partner's natural rhythm bother to the point of distraction.
Aries and Pisces
When Aries and Pisces come together in a love match, they can be very good for one another. Aries is a strong Sign; they are almost completely prey to their impulses, which they follow without a second thought to the outcome or possible consequences. Dreamy Pisces is much quieter and more internally-focused; they're the Poets of the Zodiac. On the surface an Aries and a Pisces may seem an unlikely pair, but when there's love involved, they can truly fulfill one another's needs. Pisces is very intuitive, both as a person and as a lover; Aries must take care to return this favor so Pisces won't begin to see their Aries partner as stingy and selfish.
Aries is a leader with tons of initiative. When Aries finds someone attractive they'll launch the pursuit without a second thought. When the 'prey' is gentle Pisces, Aries tends to take on the role of protector. The funny thing is, Pisces is the real protector, as the intuitive, deeply understanding partner who provides a relaxing sort of refuge for hectic Aries. Pisces is a Water Sign; they can fill any container, so to speak. They are so giving and empathetic that sometimes they can become something of a doormat -- they give themselves completely to their partners, and if their partner can't do the same, trouble may result. Pisces understands Aries in a deeper way than most other Signs do, so this can help alleviate this type of problem: Pisces knows how to keep Aries from becoming overly brash or rash. Together they form a dynamic team when they combine Aries's directness with Pisces's intuitive understanding of other people.
Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars (Passion) and Pisces is ruled by the Planets Jupiter (Luck) and Neptune (Illusions). Mars brings passionate action to Neptune's dreamlife. Aries helps Pisces bring their fantasies into reality. Jupiter lets Pisces help Aries tone down their overt style of operation.
And the phoenix rises from the ashes...
As MANY know I am ARIEN. So, took some interest on revamping my knowledge on my favorite subject, myself, and here are the results. Enjoy!
V’s Sun sign: ARIES
Aries is the first Sign of the Zodiac, and that's pretty much how those born under this Sign see themselves: first. Aries are the leaders of the pack, first in line to get things going. Whether or not everything gets done is another question altogether, for an Aries prefers to initiate rather than to complete. Do you have a project needing a kick-start? Call an Aries, by all means. The leadership displayed by Aries is most impressive, so don't be surprised if they can rally the troops against seemingly insurmountable odds -- they have that kind of personal magnetism. An Aries won't shy away from new ground, either. Those born under this Sign are often called the pioneers of the Zodiac, and it's their fearless trek into the unknown that often wins the day. Aries is a bundle of energy and dynamism, kind of like a Pied Piper, leading people along with its charm and charisma. The dawning of a new day -- and all of its possibilities -- is pure bliss to an Aries.
The symbol of Aries is the Ram, and that's both good and bad news. Impulsive Aries might be tempted to ram their ideas down everyone's throats without even bothering to ask if they want to know. It's these times when you may wish Aries's Sign's symbol were a more subdued creature, more lamb than ram perhaps. You're not likely to convince the Ram to soften up; these folks are blunt and to the point. Along with those qualities comes the sheer force of the Aries nature, a force that can actually accomplish a great deal. Much of Aries's drive to compete and to win comes from its Cardinal Quality. Cardinal Signs love to get things going, and Aries exemplifies this even better than Cancer, Libra or Capricorn.
Aries are ruled by the Planet Mars. Taking a peek at Roman mythology, we find that Mars was the God of War. Our man Mars was unafraid to do battle, and much the same can be said for Aries. These folks are bold, aggressive and courageous. They can summon up the inner strength required to take on most anyone, and they'll probably win. Aries do not lack energy or vitality, and they can stay in the game longer than most anyone else. Now that's a winning edge. Rams are also, for the most part, independent and well aware of their own interests in a given situation. This sometimes myopic view may not be for everyone, but it does help Aries get things going. Further, their competitive natures ensure that they will play the game with zeal and vigor. At times, their approach may be construed as arrogant and domineering, but it takes a lot of focus to be a leader (or so an Aries would say). Sadly, the Aries won't usually be around for the final victory (defeat? never). These folks will more than likely have bolted to the next project before the first one is done.
The Element associated with Aries is Fire. Think action, enthusiasm and a burning desire to play the game. Aries love physicality, so they won't sit on the sidelines for long, if at all. They'll jump into the fray full force and will contribute much in the process. Talk about eager beavers! Sure, some of their decisions may later prove to have been hasty, but you'll never find an Aries who regretted taking a shot.
Making things happen is what it's all about to these folks. Aries are also unafraid of stepping onto new terrain. The challenge inherent in taking on the unknown is heaven on Earth for Rams. Sure, they may appear arrogant when they take on the world, but they'll be quick to tell you it's the only way to go. While a common Aries refrain might well be 'me first,' there's no point in arguing with them since, in their minds, they are first. Is this unbridled ego? Maybe, but that might be what it takes to blaze a new trail. Oh, and on the subject of arguing, it's the Ram who will have the last word, so save your breath.
Aries seem to play as hard as they work. These folks are happiest in a spirited soccer match or engaging in the martial arts. In the game of love, the Ram's ardor is unquestioned, although Aries can also be playful and romantic with their mate. With Aries ruling the head, face and brain, those born under this Sign need to be on the lookout for headaches and are well-served to take the occasional deep breath. The Ram's color is bright red, a sure sign of the fire that breathes within.
The great strength of the Aries-born is in their initiative, courage and determination. These folks love to get things going and are fearless along the way. Their dynamism and competitive spirit add considerably any of their endeavors.
V’s Rising Sign: Aries Rising
If your Rising Sign is Aries, whether you like it or not, people always look to you to get things started, to lead the charge, and to say the things that no one else dares to say. You seem confident and blunt -- and like an easy puzzle to put together. People think they understand your motivations. On the negative side, you might appear too intense and forward -- even self-absorbed. Don't be surprised if others expect you to respond jealously in love. That is the Aries way, and for all the world, you look like an Aries!
V’s Descendant: Attraction Factor, Libra Descendant
If Libra lies on your Descendant, you're searching for a romantic partner with an even temperament and a sense of inner harmony. Since you have Aries Rising -- a Sign associated with aggressiveness and action -- you seem to the world quite spontaneous, bold and assertive. Beneath the surface, though, you're a soft-hearted romantic who yearns to meet that special someone and settle down. Coupledom -- even with all its inherent benefits and aggravations -- profoundly appeals to you, the idea of sharing your life with one person resonating in your soul. When it comes to falling in love, you may at first seem blasé, too preoccupied and busy with your own dynamic lifestyle. You may even warn your potential mate of your roving eye or your need for freedom; once you've got their ear, though, you'll reveal your heart's true intentions. A mate keen on marriage and building a family will make you the most satisfied.
Lucky Sign: Aquarius
You find luck through your visionary skills and the ability to see beyond outmoded traditions. Prepare yourself for luck by positioning yourself in situations that value your innovative thinking and rebellious nature. With your revolutionary ideas, you have the potential to be a catalyst in organizations. By overcoming stubbornness, and through willingness to compromise, you will be able to find even more success and luck than you thought possible.
Karmic sign: Gemini
You have difficulty communicating what is on your mind -- usually because you fear being humiliated and doubt your own intelligence and mental capacities. You may try and compensate for this by working very hard at studies. You are deep and intellectual under the surface -- but often what you present is either intolerance and quiet or being over talkative. This usually is because of a fear of new ideas, even your own. If you examine your own motivation closely you might find that you use these things to avoid situations that might require a new outlook. In order to overcome your feelings of isolation you might try to connect more with your own motivation. You could find that your own ideas are completely acceptable, even valuable.
Passion sign: Aquarius
You are most likely a born rebel, with or without a cause! Are people surprised by your natural instinctive behavior? Mars in Aquarius renders you highly experimental, unorthodox, and independent. You express yourself in any way you see fit, and probably are unaware of how eccentric you actually are. You have a strong desire for independence and freedom. This planetary placing has been said to produce more originality and unconventional flair than any other. You are easily bored with routine and are a bit erratic when it comes to your personal life and how to live it. After all, there are so many options, and aren't they all worth a try? In relationships, you enjoy experimentation, and lots of spontaneous activity! You offer excitement and variety to your relationships and are happiest when you and your partner are friends as well as lovers.
Love sign: Aries
Those of you with natal Venus in Aries could be visualized as Cupid with a bow, rising to glorified heights and releasing an arrow aimed at a specific target of your choice. Energetic, youthful and direct, lovers with Venus in Aries will not demurely wait for anything. You are active and forthright, no stranger to competition. Those with this placement contain the impatience and daring of a truly alive, free-thinking, variety-seeking adolescent, discovering for the first time the indescribable bliss and inspiration of love with a capital L. Your emotions are changeable, fiery and perhaps a bit on the explosive side. Although you will probably attract a number of people to you with your energetic and super-active lifestyle, beware of your less exciting tendencies. Your self-centeredness (which can border on total self absorption) may leave your pursuits wondering if there is room for two in this affair. Remembering that others may not see things they same way you do will enable you to keep the fires scorching! You will be happiest in a relationship that allows you to be true to yourself.
Soul-mate sign: Juno is in Sagittarius
It is vital that your partner can keep up with you. Juno-Sagittarius is so dynamic, so filled with energy, enthusiasm and drive that she can intimidate those who can't match her strength and courage. You crave variety so you're likely to be slow to settle down but once you decide on a partner you are more than happy to be tied down as long as your bonds aren't too tight. You need independence and freedom, and a partner who is secure enough to allow you to spend time on your own and perhaps to have friends and experiences outside the relationship. Clingy or dependent partners will soon drive you to leave; instead you need a partner whose zeal for life matches your own. Your partner must be willing to join you in your ambitious schemes and to explore uncharted territories with you. However, any hint of fickleness, infidelity or unkindness will turn you right off. It's important that your partner have a life of their own but someone who uses their independence to hurt you is not for you.
Preferences for Aries:
Books:
The rushing Ram will want a quick and entertaining read that will give them a rush of adrenaline. Short stories and thrillers suit the turbo-charged Aries. Favorite books could include Edgar Allen Poe's stories, and some of Stephen King's shorter works.
Career:
Ambulance driver, Barber, Bell-hop, Butcher, Coach, Computer or video game designer, Courier, Dentist, Director, EMT, Entertainer, Entrepreneur, Fire fighter, Hairdresser, Jockey, Landlord, Lawyer, Make-up artist, Metal worker, Military officer, Neurologist, Optometrist, Producer, Police officer, Public relations executive, Sales person, Sportsperson, Stagehand, Stock broker, Stunt person, Valet
Chocolates:
Eats all of the chocolates in one sitting.
Food:
Aries likes variety -- so serve a bunch of appetizers. Fire Signs want their food to be hot and spicy. The Ram hates bland things and likes to spice up their meals with basil, cinnamon and curry. When cooking for an Aries, remember: The redder, the better.
Movies:
The fiery Ram likes to be scared, perhaps so they can claim they weren't, but that everyone around them was. Favorite films might include The Sixth Sense or adrenaline-pumping Arnold Schwarzenegger bicep blockbusters like The Terminator, or maybe the physical comedy of Jackie Chan.
Music:
First in everything, the Ram listens to the cutting edge. You listened to Metallica back when their hair was long and Nirvana when they were just some garage band from Seattle. Sleater-Kinney or Rage Against the Machine have found their way to your CD changer. Your type of music causes your parents to cover their ears
Restaurants:
Always on the go and ready to rush off to the next big thing, the Ram will most likely grab some fast food en route. When dining in a restaurant, try a variety of appetizers, which will suit your investigative nature.
Sports:
The robust Ram puts their athletic and energetic energy to use in activities like sprinting, high impact aerobics or Tae-Bo.
Travel:
Argentina, Cambodia, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Ireland, Luxembourg, San Francisco, Spain
Television:
Aries may find that watching extreme sports competitions are right up their alley. You can't miss with the hardcore aspects of Monday Night Football, the powerful action of the hockey rink and the intense jabs of boxing when trapped for an evening of television.
Vesta sign for V: Sexuality sign Vesta is in Gemini
Vesta in Gemini is the most intellectual of all the signs, so it's no surprise that with Vesta's influence the Vesta-Gemini link-up makes you a powerful intellect and the sharpest crayon in the box. Knowledge is power to you, and you want all the information you can get on just about any subject. You're a dynamo at work and in your personal life, and others look to your sharp, incisive intellect for answers and reassurance. You are the sort of person who always has the missing piece to the puzzle or the important bit of information which makes a difference. Study and research are your tools as you continue to sharpen your keen intelligence, and with a bit of work you'll find you're unbeatable. You can get what you want through networking, making every effort to gain knowledge and by sharing your valuable information with others, who'll give you brownie points and goodies for your insight and knowledge. If you don't network and share, you may find that you lose confidence in your intellect and doubt your own power. Sharing sexually is also important, though you'll find that you can't connect physically with anyone you don't connect with mentally.
Pallas sign for V: Warrior sign Pallas is in Scorpio
What a powerhouse you are, Pallas-Scorpio! Scorpio is the natural general of the Zodiac, and with Pallas' warrior influence you're almost unbeatable. When these two influences meet you have a woman who is powerful, penetrating, perceptive, strategic and probing. Those who oppose you will feel your deadly sting for quite a while after they've already given up. Not only do you have the courage to begin and win battles, you're cunning enough to mount sneak attacks. Your enemies never quite know where you're coming from or which angle you're take, and they're not likely to get leaked information from those in on your plans -- because no one's in on your plans! You take a close-mouthed stance and keep your intentions private, vowing to see your battles through to the bitter end. You make an excellent leader as long as you have soldiers following your charges, and you're likely to win every battle you fight.
Healing sign: Chiron in Aries
If Chiron falls in Aries in your chart, you bear a pain inflicted upon your sense of self. This Chironic placement makes for a person who can wallow in self-pity over wounds, which can be physical, mental or psychic, self-inflicted, inherited or accidental. At the heart of Aries' influence are the ways in which you attain fulfillment with who you are on the inside and out. With Chiron in Aries, you can't help others because you can't see that you're not at peace with yourself. Instead of floundering in doubt, punishing yourself for who you aren't, Chiron in Aries encourages you to embrace who you are. By celebrating your strengths, you gain peace of mind and an opportunity to reach out to others going through similar pain. Healing yourself opens you (and your wound) up to the world, giving you a chance to give back what you've learned from your pain. Give your time to causes dealing with self-esteem or appearance issues -- especially with children and adolescents -- like eating disorders, self-mutilation or any behaviors that people inflict upon themselves out of self-loathing.
Power sign: Libra
The focus of Libra is on relationships. Many babies are born when Pluto is in Libra as a result of their parents making efforts to improve and revitalize their relationships. These children grow up watching their parent's relationships either thrive or fail completely. This generation, however, is determined to make all of their partnerships work out. They watch what has worked for previous generations and incorporate it into their own lives, and they see what has failed in the past and try to make working changes. Some of those born while Pluto was in Libra might cast aside the idea of formal marriage in favor of more unconventional approaches to unity. Others, however, may decide that the free-form approach does not work and choose to rely on the more conservative elements that worked for marriage in earlier generations.
Mothering Sign: Ceres is in Sagittarius
The ways in which you nurture yourself will seem odd and perhaps even exhausting to the other signs -- you wish for excitement, variety and physical activity for your relaxed moments. Lazing on the sofa or taking a bubble bath would only bore you; the Ceres-Sagittarius woman needs both intellectual and physical stimulation. You indulge yourself with long walks or down time at the gym, or perhaps by taking classes or attending lectures which broaden your understanding of different cultures and ways of doing things. You'd be wise to take night classes on subjects which are far-removed from your everyday life, or travel may be the way to enhance your experience and understanding. A Ceres-Sagittarius who doesn't reach out to educate herself will find herself bored to tears and looking for sustenance in all the wrong places. You are also put off by the touchy-feely sympathy and nurturing that some signs offer; that way of nurturing others is most definitely not for you. Instead, you are a teacher and a leader; helping others broaden their horizons and increase their scope. Those who can keep up with you will look to your for inspiration and a boost.
Rebellious sign: Libra
Libra is the Sign of Partnership. When Uranus moves into this Sign, there are going to be some changes in the way people interact, especially with regards to love relationships. Your generation has probably taken a good look at the divorce rate of their parent's generation and decided that something needed to change. You might find yourself marrying early in life, or late in life, or not marrying at all. Inconsistent experiences could make you skittish about relationships and indecisive about your sexuality in general. If you want to settle down, look for a relationship that will offer you plenty of freedom to be yourself and try new things. It is possible that your partnerships will never be typical, but they will occur on your own terms.
Spiritual Sign: Neptune is in Sagittarius
You are part of a 14 year group of people that are extremely idealistic and farsighted in their dreams. Your age group is very liberal and expansive in outlook, and consequently churches become much more flexible and more eclectic in their approach during your life time. Religions that do not adapt to the broad-minded attitude of your age group simply are unable to attract very much interest and involvement from you. A great deal of metaphysical musing and speculation is evident in your age group, and there is a very strong interest in all manner of psychic phenomena, UFO's, prophecy, etc. This interest will open many new doors and insights, but will also often lead to a great deal of fantasizing and speculation that is taken more seriously than it should be.
Ok... now, I FEEL naked! LOL I must also say that the reports are VERY accurate (the only slide was on the TV preferences... I HATE football! But hey, nothing is perfect!
I also learned that I have many influences from Libra and Gemini... So I finally have an answer to the why's of my life. :P
V’s Sun sign: ARIES
Aries is the first Sign of the Zodiac, and that's pretty much how those born under this Sign see themselves: first. Aries are the leaders of the pack, first in line to get things going. Whether or not everything gets done is another question altogether, for an Aries prefers to initiate rather than to complete. Do you have a project needing a kick-start? Call an Aries, by all means. The leadership displayed by Aries is most impressive, so don't be surprised if they can rally the troops against seemingly insurmountable odds -- they have that kind of personal magnetism. An Aries won't shy away from new ground, either. Those born under this Sign are often called the pioneers of the Zodiac, and it's their fearless trek into the unknown that often wins the day. Aries is a bundle of energy and dynamism, kind of like a Pied Piper, leading people along with its charm and charisma. The dawning of a new day -- and all of its possibilities -- is pure bliss to an Aries.
The symbol of Aries is the Ram, and that's both good and bad news. Impulsive Aries might be tempted to ram their ideas down everyone's throats without even bothering to ask if they want to know. It's these times when you may wish Aries's Sign's symbol were a more subdued creature, more lamb than ram perhaps. You're not likely to convince the Ram to soften up; these folks are blunt and to the point. Along with those qualities comes the sheer force of the Aries nature, a force that can actually accomplish a great deal. Much of Aries's drive to compete and to win comes from its Cardinal Quality. Cardinal Signs love to get things going, and Aries exemplifies this even better than Cancer, Libra or Capricorn.
Aries are ruled by the Planet Mars. Taking a peek at Roman mythology, we find that Mars was the God of War. Our man Mars was unafraid to do battle, and much the same can be said for Aries. These folks are bold, aggressive and courageous. They can summon up the inner strength required to take on most anyone, and they'll probably win. Aries do not lack energy or vitality, and they can stay in the game longer than most anyone else. Now that's a winning edge. Rams are also, for the most part, independent and well aware of their own interests in a given situation. This sometimes myopic view may not be for everyone, but it does help Aries get things going. Further, their competitive natures ensure that they will play the game with zeal and vigor. At times, their approach may be construed as arrogant and domineering, but it takes a lot of focus to be a leader (or so an Aries would say). Sadly, the Aries won't usually be around for the final victory (defeat? never). These folks will more than likely have bolted to the next project before the first one is done.
The Element associated with Aries is Fire. Think action, enthusiasm and a burning desire to play the game. Aries love physicality, so they won't sit on the sidelines for long, if at all. They'll jump into the fray full force and will contribute much in the process. Talk about eager beavers! Sure, some of their decisions may later prove to have been hasty, but you'll never find an Aries who regretted taking a shot.
Making things happen is what it's all about to these folks. Aries are also unafraid of stepping onto new terrain. The challenge inherent in taking on the unknown is heaven on Earth for Rams. Sure, they may appear arrogant when they take on the world, but they'll be quick to tell you it's the only way to go. While a common Aries refrain might well be 'me first,' there's no point in arguing with them since, in their minds, they are first. Is this unbridled ego? Maybe, but that might be what it takes to blaze a new trail. Oh, and on the subject of arguing, it's the Ram who will have the last word, so save your breath.
Aries seem to play as hard as they work. These folks are happiest in a spirited soccer match or engaging in the martial arts. In the game of love, the Ram's ardor is unquestioned, although Aries can also be playful and romantic with their mate. With Aries ruling the head, face and brain, those born under this Sign need to be on the lookout for headaches and are well-served to take the occasional deep breath. The Ram's color is bright red, a sure sign of the fire that breathes within.
The great strength of the Aries-born is in their initiative, courage and determination. These folks love to get things going and are fearless along the way. Their dynamism and competitive spirit add considerably any of their endeavors.
V’s Rising Sign: Aries Rising
If your Rising Sign is Aries, whether you like it or not, people always look to you to get things started, to lead the charge, and to say the things that no one else dares to say. You seem confident and blunt -- and like an easy puzzle to put together. People think they understand your motivations. On the negative side, you might appear too intense and forward -- even self-absorbed. Don't be surprised if others expect you to respond jealously in love. That is the Aries way, and for all the world, you look like an Aries!
V’s Descendant: Attraction Factor, Libra Descendant
If Libra lies on your Descendant, you're searching for a romantic partner with an even temperament and a sense of inner harmony. Since you have Aries Rising -- a Sign associated with aggressiveness and action -- you seem to the world quite spontaneous, bold and assertive. Beneath the surface, though, you're a soft-hearted romantic who yearns to meet that special someone and settle down. Coupledom -- even with all its inherent benefits and aggravations -- profoundly appeals to you, the idea of sharing your life with one person resonating in your soul. When it comes to falling in love, you may at first seem blasé, too preoccupied and busy with your own dynamic lifestyle. You may even warn your potential mate of your roving eye or your need for freedom; once you've got their ear, though, you'll reveal your heart's true intentions. A mate keen on marriage and building a family will make you the most satisfied.
Lucky Sign: Aquarius
You find luck through your visionary skills and the ability to see beyond outmoded traditions. Prepare yourself for luck by positioning yourself in situations that value your innovative thinking and rebellious nature. With your revolutionary ideas, you have the potential to be a catalyst in organizations. By overcoming stubbornness, and through willingness to compromise, you will be able to find even more success and luck than you thought possible.
Karmic sign: Gemini
You have difficulty communicating what is on your mind -- usually because you fear being humiliated and doubt your own intelligence and mental capacities. You may try and compensate for this by working very hard at studies. You are deep and intellectual under the surface -- but often what you present is either intolerance and quiet or being over talkative. This usually is because of a fear of new ideas, even your own. If you examine your own motivation closely you might find that you use these things to avoid situations that might require a new outlook. In order to overcome your feelings of isolation you might try to connect more with your own motivation. You could find that your own ideas are completely acceptable, even valuable.
Passion sign: Aquarius
You are most likely a born rebel, with or without a cause! Are people surprised by your natural instinctive behavior? Mars in Aquarius renders you highly experimental, unorthodox, and independent. You express yourself in any way you see fit, and probably are unaware of how eccentric you actually are. You have a strong desire for independence and freedom. This planetary placing has been said to produce more originality and unconventional flair than any other. You are easily bored with routine and are a bit erratic when it comes to your personal life and how to live it. After all, there are so many options, and aren't they all worth a try? In relationships, you enjoy experimentation, and lots of spontaneous activity! You offer excitement and variety to your relationships and are happiest when you and your partner are friends as well as lovers.
Love sign: Aries
Those of you with natal Venus in Aries could be visualized as Cupid with a bow, rising to glorified heights and releasing an arrow aimed at a specific target of your choice. Energetic, youthful and direct, lovers with Venus in Aries will not demurely wait for anything. You are active and forthright, no stranger to competition. Those with this placement contain the impatience and daring of a truly alive, free-thinking, variety-seeking adolescent, discovering for the first time the indescribable bliss and inspiration of love with a capital L. Your emotions are changeable, fiery and perhaps a bit on the explosive side. Although you will probably attract a number of people to you with your energetic and super-active lifestyle, beware of your less exciting tendencies. Your self-centeredness (which can border on total self absorption) may leave your pursuits wondering if there is room for two in this affair. Remembering that others may not see things they same way you do will enable you to keep the fires scorching! You will be happiest in a relationship that allows you to be true to yourself.
Soul-mate sign: Juno is in Sagittarius
It is vital that your partner can keep up with you. Juno-Sagittarius is so dynamic, so filled with energy, enthusiasm and drive that she can intimidate those who can't match her strength and courage. You crave variety so you're likely to be slow to settle down but once you decide on a partner you are more than happy to be tied down as long as your bonds aren't too tight. You need independence and freedom, and a partner who is secure enough to allow you to spend time on your own and perhaps to have friends and experiences outside the relationship. Clingy or dependent partners will soon drive you to leave; instead you need a partner whose zeal for life matches your own. Your partner must be willing to join you in your ambitious schemes and to explore uncharted territories with you. However, any hint of fickleness, infidelity or unkindness will turn you right off. It's important that your partner have a life of their own but someone who uses their independence to hurt you is not for you.
Preferences for Aries:
Books:
The rushing Ram will want a quick and entertaining read that will give them a rush of adrenaline. Short stories and thrillers suit the turbo-charged Aries. Favorite books could include Edgar Allen Poe's stories, and some of Stephen King's shorter works.
Career:
Ambulance driver, Barber, Bell-hop, Butcher, Coach, Computer or video game designer, Courier, Dentist, Director, EMT, Entertainer, Entrepreneur, Fire fighter, Hairdresser, Jockey, Landlord, Lawyer, Make-up artist, Metal worker, Military officer, Neurologist, Optometrist, Producer, Police officer, Public relations executive, Sales person, Sportsperson, Stagehand, Stock broker, Stunt person, Valet
Chocolates:
Eats all of the chocolates in one sitting.
Food:
Aries likes variety -- so serve a bunch of appetizers. Fire Signs want their food to be hot and spicy. The Ram hates bland things and likes to spice up their meals with basil, cinnamon and curry. When cooking for an Aries, remember: The redder, the better.
Movies:
The fiery Ram likes to be scared, perhaps so they can claim they weren't, but that everyone around them was. Favorite films might include The Sixth Sense or adrenaline-pumping Arnold Schwarzenegger bicep blockbusters like The Terminator, or maybe the physical comedy of Jackie Chan.
Music:
First in everything, the Ram listens to the cutting edge. You listened to Metallica back when their hair was long and Nirvana when they were just some garage band from Seattle. Sleater-Kinney or Rage Against the Machine have found their way to your CD changer. Your type of music causes your parents to cover their ears
Restaurants:
Always on the go and ready to rush off to the next big thing, the Ram will most likely grab some fast food en route. When dining in a restaurant, try a variety of appetizers, which will suit your investigative nature.
Sports:
The robust Ram puts their athletic and energetic energy to use in activities like sprinting, high impact aerobics or Tae-Bo.
Travel:
Argentina, Cambodia, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Ireland, Luxembourg, San Francisco, Spain
Television:
Aries may find that watching extreme sports competitions are right up their alley. You can't miss with the hardcore aspects of Monday Night Football, the powerful action of the hockey rink and the intense jabs of boxing when trapped for an evening of television.
Vesta sign for V: Sexuality sign Vesta is in Gemini
Vesta in Gemini is the most intellectual of all the signs, so it's no surprise that with Vesta's influence the Vesta-Gemini link-up makes you a powerful intellect and the sharpest crayon in the box. Knowledge is power to you, and you want all the information you can get on just about any subject. You're a dynamo at work and in your personal life, and others look to your sharp, incisive intellect for answers and reassurance. You are the sort of person who always has the missing piece to the puzzle or the important bit of information which makes a difference. Study and research are your tools as you continue to sharpen your keen intelligence, and with a bit of work you'll find you're unbeatable. You can get what you want through networking, making every effort to gain knowledge and by sharing your valuable information with others, who'll give you brownie points and goodies for your insight and knowledge. If you don't network and share, you may find that you lose confidence in your intellect and doubt your own power. Sharing sexually is also important, though you'll find that you can't connect physically with anyone you don't connect with mentally.
Pallas sign for V: Warrior sign Pallas is in Scorpio
What a powerhouse you are, Pallas-Scorpio! Scorpio is the natural general of the Zodiac, and with Pallas' warrior influence you're almost unbeatable. When these two influences meet you have a woman who is powerful, penetrating, perceptive, strategic and probing. Those who oppose you will feel your deadly sting for quite a while after they've already given up. Not only do you have the courage to begin and win battles, you're cunning enough to mount sneak attacks. Your enemies never quite know where you're coming from or which angle you're take, and they're not likely to get leaked information from those in on your plans -- because no one's in on your plans! You take a close-mouthed stance and keep your intentions private, vowing to see your battles through to the bitter end. You make an excellent leader as long as you have soldiers following your charges, and you're likely to win every battle you fight.
Healing sign: Chiron in Aries
If Chiron falls in Aries in your chart, you bear a pain inflicted upon your sense of self. This Chironic placement makes for a person who can wallow in self-pity over wounds, which can be physical, mental or psychic, self-inflicted, inherited or accidental. At the heart of Aries' influence are the ways in which you attain fulfillment with who you are on the inside and out. With Chiron in Aries, you can't help others because you can't see that you're not at peace with yourself. Instead of floundering in doubt, punishing yourself for who you aren't, Chiron in Aries encourages you to embrace who you are. By celebrating your strengths, you gain peace of mind and an opportunity to reach out to others going through similar pain. Healing yourself opens you (and your wound) up to the world, giving you a chance to give back what you've learned from your pain. Give your time to causes dealing with self-esteem or appearance issues -- especially with children and adolescents -- like eating disorders, self-mutilation or any behaviors that people inflict upon themselves out of self-loathing.
Power sign: Libra
The focus of Libra is on relationships. Many babies are born when Pluto is in Libra as a result of their parents making efforts to improve and revitalize their relationships. These children grow up watching their parent's relationships either thrive or fail completely. This generation, however, is determined to make all of their partnerships work out. They watch what has worked for previous generations and incorporate it into their own lives, and they see what has failed in the past and try to make working changes. Some of those born while Pluto was in Libra might cast aside the idea of formal marriage in favor of more unconventional approaches to unity. Others, however, may decide that the free-form approach does not work and choose to rely on the more conservative elements that worked for marriage in earlier generations.
Mothering Sign: Ceres is in Sagittarius
The ways in which you nurture yourself will seem odd and perhaps even exhausting to the other signs -- you wish for excitement, variety and physical activity for your relaxed moments. Lazing on the sofa or taking a bubble bath would only bore you; the Ceres-Sagittarius woman needs both intellectual and physical stimulation. You indulge yourself with long walks or down time at the gym, or perhaps by taking classes or attending lectures which broaden your understanding of different cultures and ways of doing things. You'd be wise to take night classes on subjects which are far-removed from your everyday life, or travel may be the way to enhance your experience and understanding. A Ceres-Sagittarius who doesn't reach out to educate herself will find herself bored to tears and looking for sustenance in all the wrong places. You are also put off by the touchy-feely sympathy and nurturing that some signs offer; that way of nurturing others is most definitely not for you. Instead, you are a teacher and a leader; helping others broaden their horizons and increase their scope. Those who can keep up with you will look to your for inspiration and a boost.
Rebellious sign: Libra
Libra is the Sign of Partnership. When Uranus moves into this Sign, there are going to be some changes in the way people interact, especially with regards to love relationships. Your generation has probably taken a good look at the divorce rate of their parent's generation and decided that something needed to change. You might find yourself marrying early in life, or late in life, or not marrying at all. Inconsistent experiences could make you skittish about relationships and indecisive about your sexuality in general. If you want to settle down, look for a relationship that will offer you plenty of freedom to be yourself and try new things. It is possible that your partnerships will never be typical, but they will occur on your own terms.
Spiritual Sign: Neptune is in Sagittarius
You are part of a 14 year group of people that are extremely idealistic and farsighted in their dreams. Your age group is very liberal and expansive in outlook, and consequently churches become much more flexible and more eclectic in their approach during your life time. Religions that do not adapt to the broad-minded attitude of your age group simply are unable to attract very much interest and involvement from you. A great deal of metaphysical musing and speculation is evident in your age group, and there is a very strong interest in all manner of psychic phenomena, UFO's, prophecy, etc. This interest will open many new doors and insights, but will also often lead to a great deal of fantasizing and speculation that is taken more seriously than it should be.
Ok... now, I FEEL naked! LOL I must also say that the reports are VERY accurate (the only slide was on the TV preferences... I HATE football! But hey, nothing is perfect!
I also learned that I have many influences from Libra and Gemini... So I finally have an answer to the why's of my life. :P
Friday, May 23, 2003
TGIF... Mean it in bright bold letters. I am emotionally drained, physically tired and mentally challenged. I feel as a big amorphous blob that moves from one place to the other engulfing everything at its path, so everything stays within making it bigger and more terrible. I feel hazardous and beaten... maybe even a bit radioactive at this time. I'm still musing on the matter of the class, still outraged, still hurt about it. And work has left me in empty today... I have absolutely nothing more to give for this last half hour... Just sitting here, looking pretty. ;) There are 2 assignments I'll try to get done tonight... I have been thinking of quitting this whole AIO thing... Look for getting rid off my constant tired state... Getting sleep and playing dungeons 5 times a week. I feel the magic is gone. I wont make any decisions until Spring Break is over, for the summer session, though... I know that making big decisions when you are mad is never clever. I have been playing with the idea of perhaps just going for the fucking International Business Doctorate. That's what I should've done instead of doing this... start over... allowing people to step over you when you know what you are... I'm not 17 anymore. I don't know yet... I am tempted... I still have many plans that links everything to my life's road and the plan B and C are included. I have plans for everything. I will just give one last try, and see if things are worth it... The no sleep, the giving more than 100%... I am running for Masochist of the Year, perhaps?
Tonight will be a long night...
Want to squeeze The Matrix... Maybe... I don't know... I feel so depressed... When will a meteor hit me?
Tonight will be a long night...
Want to squeeze The Matrix... Maybe... I don't know... I feel so depressed... When will a meteor hit me?
Thursday, May 22, 2003
I am upset... No, upset is a kind word that cannot describe the outrage that I feel right now. Upset does not really make you visualize screams of bloodthirst, anger, and berserking rage! I got a nice little email from the proffesor of the class that I am taking now, Digital Manipulation, accusing me of plagerism on a report about a digital artist biography... ??? Ok... what do you put on biographies? What you get on any information resource that after quoting you kindly list as a source for the info... I always do that. I wrote a complete paragraph on why I chose the artist, essay-like... mine, my own... I checked 3 sites and from them made a complete bio... And I plagiated... Yeah, 5 hours plagiating... I asked one of my peers to check it up and tell me what she thought about it... And what I expected, a big "why he would state such a thing?" Aha! Give me the drum-music... The spotlight... The intrigued public... I don't know what his problem is, except that I have better education than he, and that I answer every one of my peers with useful information not useless blunt "Late and not enough information" remarks (which are very un-teacher like and very un-proffessional). I always have a luck for being kicked. Yeah, the Kick me tag is a big badass sign in bright neon colors that show fireworks every 2 seconds. The sign also depicts a small graphic of an island and then shouts "Puerto Rico"so if someone with a pea-brain hates Puertoricans, well, maybe that someone can have fun with me?
I am outraged. I feel that no matter how much effort I put into things, with goodwill and good intentions, things blow in my face. I hope the AIO staff reviews all my work, and shove it up his ass. I REALLY hope so. And if they take his side and expell me for doing a stupid assignment as he expected and properly done, they'll hear from me... legally. I am so tired of people trying to step all over me... I am so tired of being branded as something I am not, just because people get envious or jealous of me and of what I do... I would just quit the program thanks to him. That's how I honestly feel. But that would give him a right... I hate having to prove some points to people, but I am gonna whip ass. HELL YEAH!!!
So... I do not feel better after saying all this. I hate when I am pushed towards my twin sister's evil side... But I know it's right... Only the good die young... And this is just another proof of the simple fact that you cannot be good in this world because noone will know the difference.
I am so dissapointed...
I am so discouraged...
I am so tired...
V for vendetta, victory and vex. FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY!!!
10-4
I am outraged. I feel that no matter how much effort I put into things, with goodwill and good intentions, things blow in my face. I hope the AIO staff reviews all my work, and shove it up his ass. I REALLY hope so. And if they take his side and expell me for doing a stupid assignment as he expected and properly done, they'll hear from me... legally. I am so tired of people trying to step all over me... I am so tired of being branded as something I am not, just because people get envious or jealous of me and of what I do... I would just quit the program thanks to him. That's how I honestly feel. But that would give him a right... I hate having to prove some points to people, but I am gonna whip ass. HELL YEAH!!!
So... I do not feel better after saying all this. I hate when I am pushed towards my twin sister's evil side... But I know it's right... Only the good die young... And this is just another proof of the simple fact that you cannot be good in this world because noone will know the difference.
I am so dissapointed...
I am so discouraged...
I am so tired...
V for vendetta, victory and vex. FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY!!!
10-4
Ok, so officially I need 72 hr days. Just one day is NOT enough. Yesterday went to the Seminar thingue... My workmates left at midday, leaving me alone until the damn thing was over (Yes, I am so square I actually feel bad if I just do that VERY IRRESPONSIBLE thing). By 4:30 I was breaking apart. Had to run to get coffee so I woke up. Oh, got to visit Plaza Carolina... Wow. Things HAVE changed, for the better... Ah, the new... ok... the only Goth capital of PR... LOL
The highlight of the day, got to FINALLY see the Angry one after all... What can I say? A delightful evening. Always going beyond my expectations. The whole crappy day had to end well. ( Thanks for a great time, my precious! ) :P
Tried seeing Coriolis, the operated one... but he was walking at Plaza... ( Hey, YOU are suppossed to be in bed!!! ) So, I kinda missed him. Got home early enough to post my assignments and sleep a bit. The cats are behaving and Groundel is getting a full time for the summer. (Congratulations on your new tasks, I know people do not give you enough credit for your dedication at work. And you deserve it. Cheers!).
Went today to the chiropractor. He prescribed 10 therapies... Starting June. :D Then had to go to el Fondo to get some paperwork... Only 2 tellers and the place was packed... It was a long, long wait. Got to my office at 2:45pm... Should''ve gone home... Ah, you know the story, square, square, square... :D
My arm is not good, but at least it is getting its deserved attention. And I feel at least contempt with how things are going... Work is slowly falling into its right place, as well as everything else. The old recipe... Time... Patience... More time... And if all else fails, THE HELL WITH IT!
The highlight of the day, got to FINALLY see the Angry one after all... What can I say? A delightful evening. Always going beyond my expectations. The whole crappy day had to end well. ( Thanks for a great time, my precious! ) :P
Tried seeing Coriolis, the operated one... but he was walking at Plaza... ( Hey, YOU are suppossed to be in bed!!! ) So, I kinda missed him. Got home early enough to post my assignments and sleep a bit. The cats are behaving and Groundel is getting a full time for the summer. (Congratulations on your new tasks, I know people do not give you enough credit for your dedication at work. And you deserve it. Cheers!).
Went today to the chiropractor. He prescribed 10 therapies... Starting June. :D Then had to go to el Fondo to get some paperwork... Only 2 tellers and the place was packed... It was a long, long wait. Got to my office at 2:45pm... Should''ve gone home... Ah, you know the story, square, square, square... :D
My arm is not good, but at least it is getting its deserved attention. And I feel at least contempt with how things are going... Work is slowly falling into its right place, as well as everything else. The old recipe... Time... Patience... More time... And if all else fails, THE HELL WITH IT!
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
The chainsaw thinguie is still on... Oh! Today was a f&$%^&* day. Things in Aguadilla could go so smoothly IF ONLY PEOPLE WOULD BACK OFF! I just HATE trying to maximize my time doing the expected multitasking when I have to watch over the "children" who... oooppps... cannot keep their hands off the pc... while it runs a setup... GRRRR It makes me so, so MAD! By 12 pm I had this humongous headache enough to send Bin Laden to Jupiter. I kinda HAD to get off Aguadilla at 12, but since I had not finished, I stayed until 2:00... So, basicalle hid and ran away with people following me, begging for attention. No one is ever satisfyed, not even when you say you will come back... Ah! And I just step on the elevator to reach my office at Mayaguez and there's a blackout. I should have left... but no, I am a goody goody so I went to my office anyway... So I am forced to stay until 4:30 with the hellish pain in my neck-arm... Ohhh! Someone WILL get my Evil Eye! Gotta pass this karma on!
Monday, May 19, 2003
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ok... This week is NOT starting fine. If things keep up I'm gonna cut my arm with a chainsaw. Today I must go at 12 to do a CT Scan... On Thursday I have a nice appointment with the doctor... and I must attend a training at SanJuan on Wednesday. I wish I had a Jetson's plane so I could just do some voice-activation and zoooooom, there I go... But no... Crappy thing... Seems I must also drop by SanGermán during the morning to solve a small problem. How can I get better if I can't stop driving? To be or not to be, THAT is the question...
This weekend I tried to be computer-less. I cannot write too much in the keyboard without thinking of the stars... if you know what I mean...
So... Saturday was a completely sucky day. The weather was gloomy, I was in no mood to talk to anyone, Alex and Sara tried to reach me but to no success... The highlight of the day was that while I was in my aunt's house Trilogy appeared. That was a what the F$%^#. His grandfather is in the hospital and he is now in charge of doing things in the house... How cool, my condolescences to the people in the household... :P I hope nothing bad happens, if the guy dies that will be a testament-haste and kaboom in theat family... No one appears to take care of the old man, except Trilogy... but everyone will appear for the inheritance when he dies... Such is life... Trilogy is obviously upset, but I could not even try giving him a big hug... although I knew he needed it... Still it was nice of him to pass by... Whenever he has Times of Trouble I'm there... A/W, Trilogy also wanted to invite Groundel and me to a new game group that he is gathering... Spelljammer/Greyhawk. That would be nice, its been 2 months since the last game I played with Groundel... I would use Deirdre (Anti-Paladin of Kali & Warmage) and Amlurith (Spellsinger of Eilistraee). Since I was in a communication gap I didn't really speak of anything else. I tried going to see el Calvo but turned back in the middle of the way. I was too drained to attempt more driving, and my arm was killing me. Did the long assignment of the day, amen. Ah, I still remember Marketing stuff, GOOD! And, just before midnight, got the chance to make peace with a beloved friend. So, mood shift to contempt.
On Sunday I was definitively in better mood, and although I kinda sleep until 2:00pm I managed to go do some of the many things in my list. Ran into Lucinda at the Mall. She was on the verge of crying. Seems Eintein said something to his grandma and she went away, leaving her with Barbie and Einstein stranded at the Mall... I told her she could tag along if she wanted... The next thing I knew was that she vanished in the middle of a crowd. ??? Whatever! At least I had the chance to give her a sample of the hair conditioner I told her about... Anything so she grows back her long mane, after all, THAT is the base of our friendship! :D Couldn't watch Andromeda yesterday... My aunts house was too hot and I was kinda melting... So I went home, finally... Then Trilogy appears with his computer, which inmediately made me give him the Evil Eye. I HATE DOING TECHIE STUFF AT HOME! I think I'm gonna put up a sign in my door... DAMNIT! So I tried checking it, but thekeyboard he gave me was not working and the pc would not acknowledge my monitor (now THAT was weird)... so he went away with no fixed pc. I did not make a big effort since Lucinda's pc is still there, watching at me angrily because I have not fixed it... I need to be in the right mood... And that's like an eclipse sighting! :P
Groundel seems to be getting along just fine with Trilogy... Ah, the love-hate relationship they have is so beautiful... I guess that Dungeons can try balancing our whole relation, it would be nice if all of us could hang out as we used to years ago... Without the stupid mind of whom I belong to... I know Jealousy is a strong thing... Neither Trilogy nor Groundel can handle it for long periods of time.
Ah! Sunday was also a special day. It was the birthday of the Angry Vindictive one. :) Getting older and better! ;) Just like wine.
Also, Coriolis called me and Alas! He found me! Gosh, he got an operation on Friday... I thought that the pain had been nothing... Sorry for not calling back ASAP! Hope u get well soon!
Ok, this has nothing to do with anything, but wow, Sean Connery is the epitome of ageless... He reached the age he wanted to reach, looking as great as he can, and casted a Permanency spell on himself... Talk about perfection!
10-4
Ok... This week is NOT starting fine. If things keep up I'm gonna cut my arm with a chainsaw. Today I must go at 12 to do a CT Scan... On Thursday I have a nice appointment with the doctor... and I must attend a training at SanJuan on Wednesday. I wish I had a Jetson's plane so I could just do some voice-activation and zoooooom, there I go... But no... Crappy thing... Seems I must also drop by SanGermán during the morning to solve a small problem. How can I get better if I can't stop driving? To be or not to be, THAT is the question...
This weekend I tried to be computer-less. I cannot write too much in the keyboard without thinking of the stars... if you know what I mean...
So... Saturday was a completely sucky day. The weather was gloomy, I was in no mood to talk to anyone, Alex and Sara tried to reach me but to no success... The highlight of the day was that while I was in my aunt's house Trilogy appeared. That was a what the F$%^#. His grandfather is in the hospital and he is now in charge of doing things in the house... How cool, my condolescences to the people in the household... :P I hope nothing bad happens, if the guy dies that will be a testament-haste and kaboom in theat family... No one appears to take care of the old man, except Trilogy... but everyone will appear for the inheritance when he dies... Such is life... Trilogy is obviously upset, but I could not even try giving him a big hug... although I knew he needed it... Still it was nice of him to pass by... Whenever he has Times of Trouble I'm there... A/W, Trilogy also wanted to invite Groundel and me to a new game group that he is gathering... Spelljammer/Greyhawk. That would be nice, its been 2 months since the last game I played with Groundel... I would use Deirdre (Anti-Paladin of Kali & Warmage) and Amlurith (Spellsinger of Eilistraee). Since I was in a communication gap I didn't really speak of anything else. I tried going to see el Calvo but turned back in the middle of the way. I was too drained to attempt more driving, and my arm was killing me. Did the long assignment of the day, amen. Ah, I still remember Marketing stuff, GOOD! And, just before midnight, got the chance to make peace with a beloved friend. So, mood shift to contempt.
On Sunday I was definitively in better mood, and although I kinda sleep until 2:00pm I managed to go do some of the many things in my list. Ran into Lucinda at the Mall. She was on the verge of crying. Seems Eintein said something to his grandma and she went away, leaving her with Barbie and Einstein stranded at the Mall... I told her she could tag along if she wanted... The next thing I knew was that she vanished in the middle of a crowd. ??? Whatever! At least I had the chance to give her a sample of the hair conditioner I told her about... Anything so she grows back her long mane, after all, THAT is the base of our friendship! :D Couldn't watch Andromeda yesterday... My aunts house was too hot and I was kinda melting... So I went home, finally... Then Trilogy appears with his computer, which inmediately made me give him the Evil Eye. I HATE DOING TECHIE STUFF AT HOME! I think I'm gonna put up a sign in my door... DAMNIT!
Groundel seems to be getting along just fine with Trilogy... Ah, the love-hate relationship they have is so beautiful... I guess that Dungeons can try balancing our whole relation, it would be nice if all of us could hang out as we used to years ago... Without the stupid mind of whom I belong to... I know Jealousy is a strong thing... Neither Trilogy nor Groundel can handle it for long periods of time.
Ah! Sunday was also a special day. It was the birthday of the Angry Vindictive one. :) Getting older and better! ;) Just like wine.
Also, Coriolis called me and Alas! He found me!
Ok, this has nothing to do with anything, but wow, Sean Connery is the epitome of ageless... He reached the age he wanted to reach, looking as great as he can, and casted a Permanency spell on himself... Talk about perfection!
10-4
Friday, May 16, 2003
This one for you, Angry Vindictive one.
HYBRID
It's a hybrid of me-I'm a hybrid of he
You're a misfit of me-I'm a misfit of you ...in limbo
Carbon copies run blue-a reminder for you but they're only skin deep crumpled shells in a heap Marked cheap
Surrogate heads of a no-no domain
shoulders form rows to make waves again Catch the next train
When you walked through that door marked "enter if you dare" Reasoned with a friend marked "do not bend" bit on that finger marked "handle with care"
a tear soiled your cheek-a broken finger on the floor a mess in sawdust-a shop window burst..no repairs
it's a hybrid of me-I'm a hybrid of he
You're a misfit for me-I'm a misfit for you in limbo.....do you speak the lingo?
-Siouxie & the Banshees
So, today I did a mayor screw up, which hurt badly someone I cared for too much... Being the careless thoughtless bitch I am, this one has been master of disasters. I did not realize I had such an impact... I try but cannot trust so fast. Still, I did thought of you as a close friend, since I bared my soul to you easily, as if I have known you for years. From some words I can feel Hell sent towards me, and I don't deny I deserve it for lack of belief... or just becoming scared? Who knows... I don't. I just feel choked. I lost a great friend today.
So, closing the day, this Lullaby for you... Hoping it can sooze your soul in a way... If such a thing can be accomplished.
Lullaby
The lunacy will leave the day
Luminous in flight
As the moon spits out
In jagged beams another night
Wrap around this brilliant veil
Tranquil and unbroken
As you spiral down
A world of clay and taut convulsion
The dream swan spins
And cartwheel turns
Down deep within your violet side
The sun begins to rise
Skaing down its morining swords to thaw your frozen eyes
The dream swan spins
And so conceal the heart that aches and yearns
Hush awhile
Sleepless child
I'll be watching over you
-Siouxie & the Banshees
I'll be watching. I keep my promises.
This one looks like Trilogy... So, caught in the mood, this is for you...
"To Have And Not To Hold"
To have and not to hold
So hot, yet so cold
My heart is in your hand
And yet you never stand
Close enough for me to have my way
To love but not to keep
To laugh, not to weep
Your eyes, they go right through
And yet you never do
Anything to make me want to stay
[Chorus:]
Like a moth to a flame
Only I am to blame
Ba ba da ba ba ba
What can I do?
Ba ba da ba ba ba
I go straight to you
Ba ba da ba ba ba
I've been told
You're to have, not to hold
To look but not to see
To kiss but never be
The object of your desire
I'm walking on a wire
And there's no one at all
To break my fall
[chorus]
You're to have, not to hold
You're to have, not to hold
[chorus]
You're to have, not to hold
You're to have, not to hold
You're to have, not to hold
To break my heart
-Madonna
"To Have And Not To Hold"
To have and not to hold
So hot, yet so cold
My heart is in your hand
And yet you never stand
Close enough for me to have my way
To love but not to keep
To laugh, not to weep
Your eyes, they go right through
And yet you never do
Anything to make me want to stay
[Chorus:]
Like a moth to a flame
Only I am to blame
Ba ba da ba ba ba
What can I do?
Ba ba da ba ba ba
I go straight to you
Ba ba da ba ba ba
I've been told
You're to have, not to hold
To look but not to see
To kiss but never be
The object of your desire
I'm walking on a wire
And there's no one at all
To break my fall
[chorus]
You're to have, not to hold
You're to have, not to hold
[chorus]
You're to have, not to hold
You're to have, not to hold
You're to have, not to hold
To break my heart
-Madonna
An old one that is almost like my personal anthem... ;)
"Bitch"
I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one
[Chorus:]
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing
[Chorus]
Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me
[Chorus]
I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way
-Meredith Brooks
"Bitch"
I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one
[Chorus:]
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing
[Chorus]
Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me
[Chorus]
I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way
-Meredith Brooks
Talk about long, loooong weeks! I am glad this is FINALLY over. I arrived last night completely beaten. Did all assignments in a rush and went to sleep... wanted to stay at home today, I feel so tired! But, trying not to miss my duties at work...
I got so upset yesterday... People are just so so crappy! I've got to the big conclusion that I need to be a model so I am taken seriously. Yup, that's right. I say I am not feeling well, I have no one being compassionate to me. I was feeling dizzy, I needed to eat something, and my arm and neck were hurting badly... No one cared. One of my workmates, someone who actually doesn't do much, kept complaining the whole conference that her arm was hurting, and everyone was paying attention to her and even offering help. But hey, I am not flirty and I am not thin and I was not wearing anything showing my complete cleavage... Sooooo... Even one of my dear teammates said "You better not fall because you'll stay in the floor". Nice joke. Very thoughtful... So I stayed quiet thinking "Qué cojones".
It doesn't matter how much you are good to your workmates, or how much you give at work, there always comes the issue of an implicit "you are not the standard beauty that we praise, so get off my face..." Also, since I am big and fat that means I am strong and can do everything and more, so If I don't go and do my "job" is because I don't want to. My male workmates are not ready to offer help to me. The only help I get comes from the drivers at Aguadilla and Mayaguez... They are the only ones with a conscience, I guess... So, I felt even worse by the attitude my workmates give me... It's a matter of being appreciated... Only 3 people appreciate me in the department, the secretary (a femme), one of the technicians (the older one), and one of the programmers (another femme). Everyone else just kept backstab after backstab... and based on lies or superficial things. One of the girls always mind me because I don't drink beer or talk as if I were on the street. That's so stupid! Especially since you are supposed to be a professional... you are working in an office, not at the local bar. And then comes the issue that I'm always in black. Ah, well... if you actually saw me everyday you would know I don't wear black all the time... sad but true :P And then comes the issue of my hair... Ah! If my boss doesn't mind, I care even less what anyone else thinks... Just wait until I dye my hair in violet. TSK TSK. And last but not least, my workmates are mad at me because I have an MBA and YEARS of experience... Can you believe that? I am the big competition; I am the enemy... They try to throw mud at me but I won't get stained... That's such an unhealthy attitude and environment, especially when you should do teamwork to succeed... It gets me angry. It gets me moody. It makes me want to quit. I know eventually I will, I cannot get stuck on this shit... not even if it can get comfortable...
Ah, the "I'm not a model" issue is quite a sensation... LOL It is annoying to watch men drooling over the secretaries, and it is worst to watch how girls that actually don't even know their jobs get permanency and get everything they ask just because they show all their attributes without much care but with all intention. Ok, so that's what you do when you have no other assets, I guess... For them I am the black sheep... If I wanted to I could be a very sexy bitch. Damnit, I am after work hours. But at work I believe there should be a respect and a professional environment... Being friends with workmates seem to hinder that... People do not understand that friendship is one thing, business another. I can be your best friend, but I won't cover you at work or lie for you. I believe people should shine by their own light, period.
Bottomline, I don't care what they think about me. It does hurt that I do give and care for even the ones that backstab me, but I can take it. One day they will learn. I know who I am and what I am and so, I need not prove anything to anyone. My standards for beauty go deeper than theirs, and even then I know I could be a nice Goth model. If I wanted to, there's plenty I could show off, but I rather do private sessions. ;) I am a goddess, very much in love with myself, thank you!
It just sucks that you get alienated for not following the rules of society.
As Coriolis used to sing... "It sucks to be youuuuuuu". :P
I got so upset yesterday... People are just so so crappy! I've got to the big conclusion that I need to be a model so I am taken seriously. Yup, that's right. I say I am not feeling well, I have no one being compassionate to me. I was feeling dizzy, I needed to eat something, and my arm and neck were hurting badly... No one cared. One of my workmates, someone who actually doesn't do much, kept complaining the whole conference that her arm was hurting, and everyone was paying attention to her and even offering help. But hey, I am not flirty and I am not thin and I was not wearing anything showing my complete cleavage... Sooooo...
It doesn't matter how much you are good to your workmates, or how much you give at work, there always comes the issue of an implicit "you are not the standard beauty that we praise, so get off my face..." Also, since I am big and fat that means I am strong and can do everything and more, so If I don't go and do my "job" is because I don't want to. My male workmates are not ready to offer help to me. The only help I get comes from the drivers at Aguadilla and Mayaguez... They are the only ones with a conscience, I guess... So, I felt even worse by the attitude my workmates give me... It's a matter of being appreciated... Only 3 people appreciate me in the department, the secretary (a femme), one of the technicians (the older one), and one of the programmers (another femme). Everyone else just kept backstab after backstab... and based on lies or superficial things. One of the girls always mind me because I don't drink beer or talk as if I were on the street. That's so stupid! Especially since you are supposed to be a professional... you are working in an office, not at the local bar. And then comes the issue that I'm always in black. Ah, well... if you actually saw me everyday you would know I don't wear black all the time... sad but true :P And then comes the issue of my hair... Ah! If my boss doesn't mind, I care even less what anyone else thinks... Just wait until I dye my hair in violet. TSK TSK. And last but not least, my workmates are mad at me because I have an MBA and YEARS of experience... Can you believe that? I am the big competition; I am the enemy... They try to throw mud at me but I won't get stained... That's such an unhealthy attitude and environment, especially when you should do teamwork to succeed... It gets me angry. It gets me moody. It makes me want to quit. I know eventually I will, I cannot get stuck on this shit... not even if it can get comfortable...
Ah, the "I'm not a model" issue is quite a sensation... LOL It is annoying to watch men drooling over the secretaries, and it is worst to watch how girls that actually don't even know their jobs get permanency and get everything they ask just because they show all their attributes without much care but with all intention. Ok, so that's what you do when you have no other assets, I guess... For them I am the black sheep... If I wanted to I could be a very sexy bitch. Damnit, I am after work hours. But at work I believe there should be a respect and a professional environment... Being friends with workmates seem to hinder that... People do not understand that friendship is one thing, business another. I can be your best friend, but I won't cover you at work or lie for you. I believe people should shine by their own light, period.
Bottomline, I don't care what they think about me. It does hurt that I do give and care for even the ones that backstab me, but I can take it. One day they will learn. I know who I am and what I am and so, I need not prove anything to anyone. My standards for beauty go deeper than theirs, and even then I know I could be a nice Goth model. If I wanted to, there's plenty I could show off, but I rather do private sessions. ;) I am a goddess, very much in love with myself, thank you!
It just sucks that you get alienated for not following the rules of society.
As Coriolis used to sing... "It sucks to be youuuuuuu". :P
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
ODE to the Ghost of the Past
Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.
As Phoenix reaches the sky, and Moth burns closing to fire
You build on an empire of dust and mists in reply…
No more shall you conquer the weak!
No more shall you destroy the faith!
Go ahead and rot in your will as by force you are turned away!
Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.
Go back to change, cleanse yourself from all guilt,
From all pain and deceit You shall come back avenged.
No longer the Executioner, No longer the Judge…
No longer the Keeper…
Thinned is your blood!
Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.
Thy legacy shall live on in lore and fairy, and bardic tales
Thy foolishy might will beat in drums
As memories fill your grave.
Alas! Thy shadows will be whole!
Alas! Thrill in darkness despaired!
Alas! Melt both flesh and bone…
Then not even the ashes will remain
Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.
-Kymill the Bard of the Planes
Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.
As Phoenix reaches the sky, and Moth burns closing to fire
You build on an empire of dust and mists in reply…
No more shall you conquer the weak!
No more shall you destroy the faith!
Go ahead and rot in your will as by force you are turned away!
Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.
Go back to change, cleanse yourself from all guilt,
From all pain and deceit You shall come back avenged.
No longer the Executioner, No longer the Judge…
No longer the Keeper…
Thinned is your blood!
Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.
Thy legacy shall live on in lore and fairy, and bardic tales
Thy foolishy might will beat in drums
As memories fill your grave.
Alas! Thy shadows will be whole!
Alas! Thrill in darkness despaired!
Alas! Melt both flesh and bone…
Then not even the ashes will remain
Vanish, oh Messenger of Doom!
Vanish, Herald of Fate!
Thou shall destroy the Loom
And give in to Death and Rebirth.
-Kymill the Bard of the Planes
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)