Trial

Me, Im still with cold & flu. But it should not matter as the Force runs strong within me... Auntie has fever and cold, but wont take medicines not even a friggin panadol. I try to help and I get curses as I was the one who brought sickness into this house, and she just wants me and everyone else to leave, cats included, since she is tired of serving and of everything. Ok... WTF?

Well, I should not be surprised with her stupidity, as when the drivers came over to bring the activity plants and they asked her about me she said I only liked being served, that I did absolutely nothing else. I felt offended because that is not the truth, but apparently that is all she seems to understand from my staying in this cursed house. It has not ocurred to her that perhaps I stay beause I dont want to leave her alone, beause she is 83, and I have seen the changes. No. I just stay so I am served. My kitties are confined in a room, but they are a bother anyway. I am confined to a room because in this house anything I say is wrong, but that is not the important thing...

I am tired and deeply hurt. She always thinks ill of me, and I am the only one who is always trying to help. So I am not the "hugs and kisses" type... Sorry, you raised me that way. You raised me being an emotional sponge that never shows feelings but that cares with all her heart. You raised me believing in core goodness, believing that even if the world doesnt see the good you do what matters is that you know you do... You raised me believing in being my best at all times, believing that I could do anything, believing that I could conquer any galaxy. And so I have deep feelings and emotions, artsy and creative... and I have an atunement with my surroundings that makes my heart break each time I see forests destroyed and animals killed for sport. You created me this way, aloof but real and there, a problem solver, altruistic, egotistical... but able to handle anything anytime... And you dare to say I do nothing in here, all I do is being served. She even ventured that I keep Groundel around me because he serves me.I will never forget those words. It is always the people who should know who you are who absolutely know nothing of you.

If I were the selfish bitch that everyone thinks I am, my wings would have taken me to Florida or California. I would be working within the arts area that I love so much, studying theatre, making scenographies... The day I was born was the same day Picasso died, what a cool idea... maybe my longing for artistic expression is due to the fact that I am his reencarnation... But I wont fill my ego so much with that thought... The important thing is I am a creative entity chained down because of duty. Duty, and love.

My only reason to stay in this cursed island is my aunt. I see no future for me in a place where everything is highly political and true talents are nothing. Here you need good palas to progress in life. It is who you are and who you know. My resume scares the shit off common people here, especially my bosses. My drive to keep on learning seems an oddity in an island where reggaeton, sex, beer and drugs are the most important thing in people's lives. My affinity with ecletic things and themes makes me an easy target for being considered a loony. So be it. I only stay because of my aunt, because I am all I am because of all the sacrifices she made for me while I was growing up.

She raised me. She studied with me. She made me take piano lessons (that sucked), sewing lessons, painting lessons. She made me learn the ways of high society, of ettiquette and finesse (which I would later on mock... and still mock as a matter of fact). Thanks to her I had beautiful dresses for the flower parades, and for my poetry contests. Thanks to her I kept on with the artsy drawing and painting obsession. Thanks to her I dreamed of getting a college degree because I wanted to keep the family business... the same one my uncle (a man that raised me believing that gender did not matter)sold because he could not see a woman in charge of the business. I promised myself I would have my own business, and that is still in the drawers... but I have not forgotten.

Thanks to her I have instruction and education. Thanks to her I have values and a heart. Thanks to her I am an iron hand, with no velvet glove. Overachiever, no one will make me shut up, no one will stand in my way, I still have so much to do... in the core, all fueled by her, by her life, by how women were subdued in the past, by how men take advantage of a woman's character... I learned much only by observing her... a tireless titan who always gave expeting nothing in return... and who is now bitter just beause of that. She had nothing in return. She made my uncle, and after 35 years of marriage he left her for a woman that is not even close to a shadow of who my aunt is. She raised my mother and my mother stole from her. She helped her brother and he stole from her as well. She took care of her mother, her father and her aunt until they died. And she took me in since my 4th birthday, to raise me as her own child. In truth I admire her, and I understand her bitterness, as in my short life I have felt something close to that... but in all I still have not lost my heart. And she has. And it makes me so sad...

I am angry at her, at what I call her stupid beliefs... at her stubborness... She will never acknowledge me for being right about anything... she doesn't let me help her... I feel bound. I cannot be a watcher, I am a woman of action not just words. And she just let me do that... watch and do nothing. Plus I must dig her insults... which have no other foundation than the anger she feels for everyone being thrown at me because I happen to be there. Nothing is ever fair. Especially for rightous women, espeially for us.

If she wants me to leave, I can leave. I have my house. I just have to wait one more month, to put light and move my stuff. And that will be that. But I am not the one that will be so affected by that change... I know she needs me, now more than ever. But her rage and rebelliousness makes her throw stones at me. And all I have left intact is my dignity. I am tired of being wounded for nothing. I just wished she saw the truth, at least just once.

Nothing is ever simple... nothing is black and white. Yet shades of grey get so confussed with the mists in my land...

10-4

Good ? Week...

Crappy days, and the song plays on and on and on...

Well, a call woke me up on Monday's morning. A co-worker who needed some help getting to the net... And I agreed to meet with her in the afternoon... How naive I was... As I hanged up, another call came through. Groundel asked me to pick him up at his college because he was not feeling well.

Well... not feeling well turned into a shaking diabetic shock. For the rest of the evening and night tried to help him get better, his legs were not working properly and the pains, fever and chills appeared then vanished then reappeared again. He had to stay the night at aunties since in his condition it would have been insane to let him go to a lightless-waterless place.

Tuesday things didn’t get better and although the boy didn’t want to go to the hospital because he has no medical plan, I made him go. So, from Tuesday 6pm to Wednesday 10am Groundel was stranded at the hospital, with his culito hole smaller than ever as he strongly believed he was gonna loose his legs… Men are babies! Anyway… I stayed until 10pm, then went back for two hours during the night. As I arrived in the morning he told me they had stabilized his sugar with 2 insulin shots, they ran tests and the pain in his right leg is due to celulitis… a new one in his malady list… Besides that, everything else is fine. I just don’t wanna see that hospital bill… But if he had not gone then there would have been worst consequences.

People around me don’t take their diabetes seriously, and that pisses me off. Both Groundel and Popu need to stop the complaints and start taking their illness as a serious fact of their lives. I am not perfect in doing that, but I am aware at all times of how I am and what I need and I stray from letting myself go to extents that may endanger me further. Guys, you both need to put on the gloves and work on the matter! I wanna see you around when I’m 120 years old. Got it? End of speech.

Besides the Groundel’s Incident, I have been parallely sick… Been hold together by Dologesic and willpower. Well, seems that at least the constant fever broke and now I am left with the coughing/running nose issue… Too used to it by now… Weather doesn’t help. The worst is that auntie caught it from me… I am the entity of bad luck and illness in the family… I accept my throne. Now, shut up and let me sleep!

Ummm... did I mentioned I forgot my co-worker's meeting on Monday's afternoon? I hope she doesn't take it personal... I honestly forgot about her with all this... I was too worried about Groundel. Sue me.

Anyway... Finally had the time to check the post office... Bills, more bills... And, taddaaaaaaaaaaa! Got Karah’s card. Thanks, girl! You even made me misty-eyed! (And that is not an easy task!) :)

Haven’t heard from Coriolis ever since Sat. Hope that no one killed him or something… after all he owes me a visit. ;)

Lucinda is venturing on the blog silliness. Check out her Raven Endlessness!

No further plans right now. Too tired, too yucky. Hope that the sun will truly shine tomorrow.

10-4

Harvest moon strikes back

Soooooo... Today the plan was to go to my house and do some cleanup of the surrounding areas... They were showing 5th Element, and so for the 20something time watched the movie (I'm a sucker for Milla, sue me for that). When it was over Tomb Raider 2 was next but didn't felt like watching Lara Croft, so down to Lucinda's we went... Oh, Lulu gave me a call to wish me a happy late bday. Cute moment of the day. :)

We arrived just in time, as Lucinda was finishing up her laundry and the kids were finishing up their mayhem... sort of... A hint of rain traed behind us, but that didn't stop us from reaching my house. Over there Groundel and Lucinda took care of the piles of leaves and branches left by my uncle. Diego and Barbie helped me with the leaves, rocks and earth that layed burying half the road that heads towards the back...

Memorable moment of the day: Just as I finished loading the carretilla and yelled to Groundel so he would push it and throw the debris on the assigned spot, Lucinda thought she was She-Hulk or something and decided that if Groundel could lift the carretilla so could she... It all tripped to the side, everything falling off the carretilla... Way to go, She-Hulk! ;) No harm done. Yup, we learned some appreciation for Groundel's strenght. Guess that women DO need a manly man every now and then... (And I refuse to repeat that).

So, side of road was left almost done, and leaves debri was almost completely packed. All that is left is the rear part of the earth/stones/weeds and the pile of branches and debris that my uncle made in the front of the back door. That should be homework for the week...

Left the 20 uvas playeras in the front of the house, should try planting them tomorrow during the afternoon if it doesnt rain too early. Hopefully noone will steal the plants... LOL Well, people do miss the fact that they are given for free at Recursos Naturales... Whatever. Need to get cement to throw a thin layer over the front side, leavingjust the space for the uvas playeras to grow. And need to get some weed killer, so I spray the rocky side getting it ready for trinitarias.

Tired. Got a runny nose, so keeping upwith tradition I should acept that I am sick... still in denial because of all the things I want to do...

Anyway, got to continue my sleeping chronicles... Lucinda and Groundel: Thanks for the help. I could atually DO NOTHING if I didn't have you around.:) Also my thanks to Karah, her words always brings a smile to my face.

10-4

Birthday

My b-day… Not much to say about it. Took auntie to Sams and supermarket… then visited Lucinda who did a shitty looking flan that tasted like coffee heaven. ? Got calls from Groundel and Coriolis, and messages from Candi, Joe, and daddy. I guess not so bad… the day is almost finished. Drained, a bit sad, not much hopeful… but hanging on.
10-4

At the top of the stairs is a locked room
my secret chamber that no outsider views
for entry is forbidden prohibited
Behind this door is my other self
not a picture in a frame nor a fresh disguise
but my other self
immoblie inert and sanguine
My narcissus kisses exhale crimson breath
and pump ruby to the lip
I stand before myself not Jekyll nor Hyde
not sibling nor twin seperated at birth
I stand before myself unaccountable
I dreamt that I had feet of clay
I dreamt I crossed the seven seas
and when I woke not knowing
I knew I led the double life

All I ever needed is twice removed
I spit in my bile in an airless temper
in this vacuum a vampire reversed
This one who breathes life into me
and even dull mirrors reflect the tarnished twosome
I stand before myself not another me
Not D?eganger nor witless clone
I stand before myself unrepentant
I dreamt of sin and aftermath
I dreamt of centuries laid bare
and when I woke not knowing
I knew I led the double life

-Siouxie & the Banshees, the double life

Busy? Me? Nah!

Ok… things done today:
-Decorated for two baby showers
-Computer support
-Prepared layout & salad for lunch sale
-Went to pay IRS
-Took auntie to bank
-Back at work in time for friggin showers
-Front desk while sending messages tied to secretaries thing
-Ate cake
4:30… The free week has officially begun. Wheeeee!

Tonight’s plans:
Movie
WNTW
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Any questions?

10-4

Wherever I may roam

...and the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
So in her I do confide
And she keeps me satisfied
Gives me all I need

...and with dust in throat I crave
Only knowledge will I save
To the game you stay a slave
Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll redefine anywhere
Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home

...and the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
Under wandering stars I've grown
By myself but not alone
I ask no one

...and my ties are severed clean
The less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign
Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll never mind anywhere
Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home

But i'll take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind
And I'll take my find anywhere
Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home

Carved upon my stone
My body lie, but still I roam
Wherever I may roam

-Metallica, Wherever I may roam

Mother Nature having a ball

Or so it seems... LOL Another hectic day. I woke up pretty late, at 7am. I actually thought it was Saturday, and planned on catching more Z’s, but my aunt woke me up screaming as usual. I broke my bathing-having breakfast-feeding kitties record as I was in my car and ready to go by 7:30. Arrived on time for the 8am signup, and ran to my office to finish up the secretaries flyer. I also made contact for the music, a 6-musicians-group from Hormigueros, that will only charge $300 for two hours, which is very good. By 10:30am I had done that, had sent the flyers via outlook to each zone, then customized the flyers for the secretaries and send those as a secretarial bunch. Got some emails of actual computer problems, but one was already solved and the other two need me to go onsite so they are on the waiting line. Bothered the drivers so they would take me to get the coffee trees, and their boss agreed to do that during the afternoon. From 11to midday went asking people one by one about which menu they will dig in the activity, as well as asking for the money they all owe. Some paid, some promised. I will make another round tomorrow.

Lulu invited me to go pick up some Chinese at lunch, and so we also went to Pitusa to get some baby stuff for the 2 baby showers taking place on Friday… Oh, yes, that is in charge of a very eclectic group whose members have been nagging me almost daily this week asking for my opinions on everything (as if I actually cared). It is funny how I say yes or no or u-hum them without actually looking and they actually think I am responding their questions… By midday today somehow answering the dilemma of displaying the stuff that had to be put somewhere else but a box landed me in the middle of the “putting everything together” on Thursday afternoon… translating to “You have been the giver of godly ideas, now that we have gathered the offerings please put everything together tomorrow afternoon by waving your magic wand of wonders, thank you”. So… Tomorrow afternoon I will have to make a pyramid display for baby stuff that should be hot glued into it and wrapped in transparent paper… and cover some walls with baby blue tablecloth mimicking a sky, place cotton mats as 3-D clouds and hang the cigueña somewhere in the ceiling… As if I had nothing better to do…

But enough of tomorrow, back to today… The drivers took me to RUM to go get the baby trees. One of the guys there answered many questions that I made about planting and stuff… Anyway, he gave me a bush that should give a red-colored flower the color of my hair. Awwww, how thoughtful… ;) Since one of the drivers wanted an orange tree, we also went to the RUM nursery and he got those. I saw some caimito, corazon, guayaba, aguacate, limon dulce and Tahiti orange (seedless) trees that I definitively want to get later on. Anyway, we had to go take the plants to my aunt’s house so I take care of them in the meanwhile… Sooooo… We delivered the trees, auntie made some remarks that will give the drivers plenty of material to bother me for at least a month… Noel got his ivy plant as a bonus and we all went back to the office happily… Almost time to go, so it was a matter of putting all the mess away and signing my exit. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I am very sleepy, and the rain makes that even more less tolerable. Guess that today I will go to bed by 8pm… I am drained and need some energy. The week is not over yet, plenty to do between tomorrow and Friday… Tomorrow need to do the reports for my IT boss, and to go get peoples money. In the afternoon will decorate for the baby shower. On Friday morning I need to go get the fans & dominoes at San Sebastián. In the afternoon there is the activity reunion at 1pm, and the baby shower at 3pm. I will be very happy at 4:30pm, as the week ahead will be only for MY projects, DAMNIT!

Do I have time to even think? Nah. And it somehow pleases me… I don’t really have plans for Saturday. I guess we will end up gathering at Lucinda’s in the night, but nothing else is concrete. Haven’t heard from the contractor and since I’ve had no time to all him big deal… Groundel reached 12th level on the Sims, now surfing the Biodome (looks really cool). Hope Lucinda makes the chocolate mint flancocho or coffee flan… :D Don’t know if anyone else is mad at me or something. Whatever. There will be another pool party, this time on the 15th at Graciela’s place. And the voices say that everyone will dance in the tube… LOL Sure… They wish…

Ok, gotta get kitty food. They are looking at me in a very funny way…

10-4

Got Babies! Got Babies! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Well, today was like being at a girls scout jamboree or something. In the morning I did work hard in the office to make the friggin secretaries invitations. I had to take the cd to college so a friend would print them out later in the afternoon. After the delivery, went with a co-worker to the Natural Resources office within RUM. She had spoken to one of its employees and they would give us coffee trees so we can give one to every secretary. Cool. Tomorrow I must go with a driver to gather those, as well as some other trees that we plan to give away. The coolest thing about that visit was the realization that plants in there are given free of charge to the public. I filled my car with 5 yellow robles, 5 ucares, 5 Washingtonian palms, 5 palms with leaves as fingers, 2 red flamboyanes and 20 uvas playeras. Wheeee! Talk about going druidic! I plan to get 40 more uvas playeras and 10 more robles to plant around the house.

After that, went with drivers to San Sebastian. Idalia was in her car, and showing us the way via infamous Road 108. Ahhhh, beautiful panoramic landscapes and views... Ewww, too many bent roads that can make you sick any minute. After a whole hour (using the main road it takes 40 minutes, mind you) we finally arrived at San Sebastián. Went to give the deposit at the Hacienda, petted a cabrita that reminded me of the infamous "Cabrita Incident" at Animal Kingdom, then Idalia took us hand-fan hunting at the town's main street. The locals knew we were some weird kind of tourists. Too many stares and politeness towards us. LOL Small towns are cozy, and they definitively go with the Porta Del Sol tourism techniques. Puerto Rio somos todos. LOL Well, got a deal for the old-fashioned femme hand fans, and Im still looking for gifts for the few secretarial males. The quest goes on. Arrived way after 5pm at work's parking, but the small voyage was a breeze. It's allways a delight to go anywhere with the drivers.

At home had to cook... ermmm... make sandwiches, since there was no food on the fridge. Damn... And I have no cash to buy anything at all. Whatever. The car is also asking for oil, and seems the water something needs repair. Plus the tire boots need change. I need at least 500 to cover that... Guess I'll have to go to the Comercio street or something...

Got a call from LS. She gave some directions to Groundel so he an try hunting for what seems a fair part time job. Thanks, LS, very thoughtful of you. ;)

Lucinda wanted robles, so gotta let her know she should go to RUM and get them for free. Encouraging the lass to make her house pretty, and keep it that way. Yay!

Seems that with the trees and paint and doing some of the activity mementos my Holy Week will be full. Well, not bad. I wont have nothing to do, and it all will be cashless action. Another Yay! ;)

Kitties sleeping, and I should follow the example. Too much action, not so young anymore you know... Right!

10-4

Harvest Moon?

Birthday week began. I am completely drained and exhausted from a hellish weekend of physical labor (not the one you imagine PERVERTS). Been playing Harvest Moon, the live episodes, on Saturday and Sunday. The first one at Lucinda’s, planting the palm trees in the worst ground I have seen… and yesterday at my home… trying to put away some debris that lays in the way but that is made of earth, stones and cement. Lovely effort. As rain started to pour down I had to quit the motion, and getting inside the house I witnessed the lovely falls that I have in my stairs… I was beyond mad and pissed, for several reasons. Whatever. At least a little bit was done, hopefully next week I will do a whole bit more in Sat and Sun. Want to have a clean way so cars can go further to the back. Called the contrator and left him a pissed message as well. Hope to find him during the day today. Happy happy joy joy.

Gotta work on the invitations and flyers for the secretary week thinguie. This week had a bad jumpstart and I foresee that will be full of bruises and bad behavior.

Lovely.

I’m also in blunt and no “hairs in my tongue” mode. So, watch-out WORLD. Not in kind, gentle and thoughtful state. I’m quite angry and bitter and too stressed for my own good. At work, this is the last big thing I do, they definitively do not deserve my efforts. Next job will be a paid thing, I am tired of doing my best for free. At home been cleaning and putting what I can in my house. Wanna start making it mine. That’s the plan, painting the walls with murals. Been looking for gothic designs and ideas and something is coming up. Inspiration always comes in times of trouble...

So… Tired, beat, mad… the usual with a spoonful of sugar.

10-4

Tears in heaven

I was not aware until now that a dear friend is going through a rough time. Someone very dear to him passed away without his notice. So, this one seemed appropiate... with all my respect. I know what she meant for you, and I deeply hope you find your peace soon.


Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?


I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.


Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?


I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.


Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.


Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.


Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?


I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

-Eric Clapton, Tears in Heaven

Land of Hell and then some strawberry fields

Lesson of the day:
Our ancestors placed a great value on earth because they worked it, they knew it, they helped it and depended on Earth’s whims to survive. In todays world that seems out of place, and yet… if you do take the time to feel the earth running through your fingers, then you will KNOW the greatest of the secrets from our elders… For it is Earth who brings us nourishing and a promise of a new day.

Back to the scheduled programming...

Friday night was lonesome, but I guess that it is what I needed because I was friggin drained from a week of full impact. By 9pm I was asleep. Woke up today nearly at midday with batteries recharged, eager to do something... anything. Well... Began by taking all boxes that could be in my house aside, cleaning the space they had taken at auntie's and then atually taking them over there. In the house, seems the contractor was there but didnt fix things as water was still filtering. Ok, so after that, passed by to see what Lucinda was planning for the day, turned out we all had an appointment at big W. Ok... got the garden tools, went back to aunties to load gas and then to Lucindas place, where a gardening adventure still unfolds. She needed to dig 4 holes for some palms she left rotting in water from last week, so between Groundel and me we digged and digged and digged the friggin stoney earth from Hell that she has for ground at her place... The sun went out, and the 4 palms happily greeted the night. Well, the reward was a homey meal, followed by the friggin cheesecake that I wanted so badly and a really nice strawberry frappe. At 11pm I went back home.

I am exhausted, arms & legs & back are killing me... And the story wont be over. Tomorrow I shall take Groundel to the laundry so he takes care of his clothing, then gotta load some tables and stuff at aunties so I take them to my house. Then, if there is no rain, will clean up the leaves and dead weeds that uncle has left in the back... there are some nasty 4 piles of natural debri plus concrete debri and other trash from the old owners... So... The day ahead seems full already. Fun, huh?

Well, no cash for movies or for food gatherings, so I guess at least this hard work will keep me entertained... Whatever. Gotta run to my bed, Morpheus is calling.

10-4

Un beso y una flor

Dejaré mi tierra por ti
Dejaré mis campos y me iré
Lejos de aquí
Cruzaré llorando el jardín
Y con tus recuerdos partiré
Lejos de aquí.

De día viviré pensando en tus sonrisas
De noche las estrellas me acompañarán
Serás como una luz que alumbra mi camino.
Me voy pero te juro que mañana volveré.

Al partir, un beso y una flor
Un "te quiero", una caricia
Y un adiós
Es ligero equipaje
Para tan largo viaje.
Las penas pesan en el corazón.

Más allá del mar habrá un lugar
Donde el sol cada mañana
Brille mas
Forjarán mi destino
Las piedras del camino
Lo que nos es querido
Siempre queda atrás.

Buscaré un lugar para tí
Donde el cielo se une con el mar,
Lejos de aquí
Con mis manos y con tu amor
Lograré encontrar otra ilusión,
Lejos de aqui.

De día viviré pensando en tus sonrisas
De noche las estrellas me acompañarán
Serás como una luz que alumbra mi camino.
Me voy pero te juro que mañana volveré.

Al partir, un beso y una flor
Un "te quiero", una caricia
Y un adiós
Es ligero equipaje
Para tan largo viaje.
Las penas pesan en el corazón.

Más allá del mar habrá un lugar
Donde el sol cada mañana
Brille mas
Forjarán mi destino
Las piedras del camino
Lo que nos es querido
Siempre queda atrás.

-Bravo, Un beso y una flor

Lemons, anyone?

The day yestarday was really REALLY long. Had to go meet a workmate at Sams to get her bacalao for the fund raising lunch today. Got some muffins to sell as well. At night, stayed up late doing the cursed cigueña. And today as I arrived I found out the cigueña is for next week… Anyway, at least I wont have to paint anything else for work during my Bday week… soryy, Holy Week.

Just read that Communion is back. Hope that by June it’s still going on, until then I can do absolutely NOTHING related to traveling beyond my zone… But June aint so far. My vacations are in May, though… Oh, well… Somehow things will be brought together. I trust that.

Wanna go see IceAge2 and NewWorld, but seems I will have to wait for the video release… Same as Memoirs of a Geisha. Damn…

If given lemons, make lemonade. The sun will come up, if not in this galaxy… elsewhere.

10-4

Bitch

Ahhhh… people… Everyone in the office has the stare of K-9s. All because of the bad press that my nemesis gave. She basically let everyone know that I was gonna take all the secretaries to a stable. Seems the words Hacienda and Agrotourist Complex only make them think of horses… I wonder if it is just their oral or anal fixation states… Things that makes you go hmmm… So now my task is to get a nice menu and to let people know that besides horses, the place is a rustic hotel that has 2 pools, 2 restaurants, a café, a spa, cabins for families, a gazebo near a lake, and the lands with lettuce/tomatoes and the area with horses, sheep, guineas, chickens and the like. The place is like a Puerto Rico pabillion would look in Disney’s Epcot. Classy and impressive, filled up with antiques and gourmet food. Breath in-breath out. The only zone with a problem with the choice was ta-daaaaaaaaa, my office. Yauco, UIA, RUM, CAA and Aguadilla were all fine with it. So the activity will be there. Let my nemesis implode or something.

Everything else besides work seems… ok… silent… graveyard silent… During my small vacation on May I will focus on making a business plan for the events coordinator thing I’ve always wanted to do. I will try to give birth to that baby this year, aunque sea lo último que haga, lo último que hagaaaaaaaaaa! In the meanwhile, gotta pull off this activity at the Hacienda by April’s end, and then gotta do some deco for a kinder graduation on May. This year I am turning the age of Christ. I see where the nails had to come from… 10 days until doomsday!!! Buahahahahaha! And just to celebrate, Holy Week is the vacation I granted to all my kiddies! ;) The good thing, relax-release so I cleanup the House and begin painting some murals over there… Yup, THAT is what I will do in my Holy Week. Perhaps that will help me release the energy that I have stored for so long within me… Two years without painting a decent mural ain’t funny… Knowing that someone erased what you painted is not funnier… Dragons, India, Egypt, Medieval… Let’s see the outcome… Home is where the heart is.

Friends having their own messes. At least mines are work-related and mind-related. Is that being positive or what. LOL Tril has been missing in action for 2 weeks, Groundel has been studying just as LS, Lucinda has been in home-improvement mode, Coriolis is in nurse mode, Joe is in WTF mode (the usual) and so… Kitties are in joder-la-pita mode… Me, I’m in breezing mode. Let the bee be bee. Unless it’s a nemesis that deserves some serious damage… Buahahahah! Hey, I’m allowed a little fun, no? So, my anthem… Like it or not:

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one
Chorus:
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing
Chorus
Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me
Chorus
I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

-Meredith Brooks, Bitch

10-4

In brief...

Work: People of the place where I work… If I were a male I would say “You can suck my d&#@”. But since I am a polite refined lady, I will just say “you are all bleached tombstones. See you all rotting in Hell!" Still doesn’t make me feel good, but at least I am expressing my feelings… Someone simply taking the nemesis position against me… So… Bitch mode 101…

Home: Same old, same old. Want to be my own.

Acquaintances: Some tolerable, some simply un-tolerable.

Feelings: Too pissed to even begin explaining


[Spoken:]
Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

Silky smooth
Lips as sweet as candy, baby
Tight blue jeans
Skin that shows in patches

Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl

Hair that twirls on finger tips so gently, baby
Hands that rest on jutting hips repenting

Hurt that's not supposed to show
And tears that fall when no one knows
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
What it feels like for a girl

Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak

Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl

In this world
Do you know
Do you know
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
What it feels like in this world

-Madonna, What it feels like for a girl

Some things are crystal clear, others are a blurred hazard. I was born to take things the hard way… like it or not…

10-4

PS Coriolis: Thanks.

Out there

I once gave this song to you and I know there is someone out there that will see it. Even the mist have to take a day off
She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child
But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to live
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
She steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me

Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She will promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But she'll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she's always a woman to me

She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
But she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me

Billy Joel-She's always a woman to me

A phantom... of the Happy One

Friday went by without making deep noises.

Spent Saturday with Lucinda as she was looking for plants to make a small landscaping in her house… She went to a elder client’s home to get some plants for free and as expected that visit was a longaleer… Met with Groundel and Mouser at Walmart, had a deadlt showdown with bad consequences with a white spider inside Lucinda’s car, had a bad tantrum 30 minutes moment, and then back at Lucinda’s to get my car and deliver Mouser and Groundel. Long day, bad day… Whatever.

Sunday began with a strange phone call of 1 ½ hours. Then it was Coriolis turn but we were interrupted by my dear aunt and her haunting banshee screams. All for breakfast. (sight) Well, Groundel helped me clean the kitties room (complete cleanup that left me smell-less). That took away the whole afternoon, we actually had lunch by almost 6pm… The rest of the night I spent washing clothing and cleaning up my room. Oh, and listening to my aunt complaining about my throwing garbage… in the garbage… ( a BIG WTF).
Not in a talkative mood…


And if I die today I'll be the HAPPY Phantom
And I'll go chasin' the nuns out in the yard
And I'll run naked through the streets without my mask on
And I will never need umbrellas in the rain
I'll wake up in strawberry fields every day
And the atrocities of school I can forgive
The HAPPY phantom has no right to bitch

Oo who the time is getting close
Oo who time to be a ghost
Oo who every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will we pay for who we been

So if I die today I'll be the HAPPY phantom
And I'll go wearin' my NAUGHTIES like a jewel
They'll be my ticket to the universal opera
There's Judy Garland taking Buddha by the hand
And then these seven little men get up to dance
they say Confucius does his crossword with a pen
I'm still the angel to a girl who hates to SIN

Oo who the time is getting close
Oo who time to be a ghost
Oo who every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been

Or will I see you dear and wish I could come back
You found a girl that you could TRULY love again
Will you still call for me when she falls asleep
Or do we soon forget the things we cannot see

Oo who the time is getting close
Oo who time to be a ghost
Oo who every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been

And if I die today
And if I die today
And if I die today
Chasin' the nuns out in the yard

-Tori Amos, Happy Phantom

10-4

Friday, friday...

Friday. Amen. I think Bomba & Plena it is. Will give it all a taste of Majestad Negra. It will all be a reminiscent of high school’s Nights of Puerto Rico, that much I know. It should work out nicely.
The weekend promises to be dull. Everyone has something better to do, and I guess I’ll be stuck at home with my dear mother’s computers. I feel sad… How strange of me… No one responds to my beckons, so… Cats and computers is what it will be. Someday I’ll fly away… far away… so no one can truly reach me… Far away.

10-4

It's all or nothing
And nothing's all I ever get
Every time I turn it on, I burn it up and burn it out

It's always something
There's always something going wrong
That's the only guarantee, that's what this is all about

It's a never ending attack
Everything's a lie and that's a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my money back

And all the morons
And all the stooges with their coins
They're the ones who make the rules, it's not a game it's just a rout

There's desperation
There's desperation in the air
It leaves a stain on all your clothes and no detergent gets it out

And we're always slipping through the cracks
Then the movie's over, fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my money back

I want my money back
I want my money back

What about love?
It's defective! It's always breaking in half

What about sex?
It's defective! It's never built to really last

What about your family?
It's defective! All the batteries are shot

What about your friends?
It's defective! All the parts are out of stock

What about hope?
It's defective! It's corroded and decayed

What about faith?
It's defective! It's tattered and it's frayed

What about you gods?
They're defective! They forgot the warranty

What about your town?
It's defective! It's a dead-end street to me

What about your school?
It's defective! It's a pack of useless lies

What about your work?
It's defective! It's a crock and then you die

What about your childhood?
It's defective! It's dead and buried in the past

What about your future?
It's defective! And you can shove it up your ass

Oh, I want my money back
I want my money back

It's all or nothing
And nothing's all I ever get
Every time I turn it on, I burn it up and burn it out

It's a never ending attack
Everything's a lie and that's a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my money back

And we're always slipping through the cracks
Then the movie's over, fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my money back

I want my money back
I want my money back

-Meatloaf, Life is a lemon and I want my money back

Indians, cowboys and picnics?

Ah... One new nightmare has begun. I'm the head of the secretary's week works... So... New activity, new headache. Love doing it, hate the process... Anyway, will head away from the seachores and maybe will get into hacienda style sites. Gotta check places and decide for catering by Monday. My stress levels will go high again, but I guess THAT will be my bday gift on April... The activity will be the 28th, two weeks after Holy Week. Yay! We gotta get funds for everything... Thinking of indian theme or maybe typical jíbaro bash... I'm inclined towards the indian theme but a jíbaro thing would be easier and less stressful... Will see how it all unfolds.

Last night had a fight with Trilogy because of his barking mad attitudes. Guess we'll never go out if things keep on this way... He says he tries, but sadly that is not what I see. I get angrier by the day and that doesn't help his case. Whatever... Life goes on... Or so they sing...

Can't wait for the weekend. This has been a long day so far...

10-4

Score and Plans

Got a letter from HR and the exam score I got is 85.73 on the elegible registry for the two internal jobs that I applied for, HR Oficial and Support & Employment Modalities Oficial. Need to review both convocations to make sure which want I want, so I can keep on requesting the job positions. I know I want a career change, but of course I wont make the move if payment is lower. If it is the same then that should not stop me… I need experience in other fields so I can get a better position elsewhere in the US if I decide to move in the next 8-10 years… So the big plans right now: Get a new job in a different area of specialty and do a master in Social Work or a PhD in Psychology. Afterwards, if the weather provides for the change, I will get off this little piece of Earth. I know sooner or later I’ll fly away because I have no real opportunities for a good life and quality of life in here. I want to make a difference but this place is too politically inclined to allow for that. Whatever… It’s just a plan.

No word of the contractor. That is really, REALLY pissing me off.

Tomorrow is the Day of Enslavement Abolition. Hmmm… not for everybody, right Coriolis? Porque negro es tu color... LOL ;)

10-4

In Space no one can hear you Scream

So, I will pretend that all this time I have been in a paralell dimension screaming at people my deep belief, something that goes like this: I HATE COMPUTERS! Just because I MUST work with computers and just because I CAN fix them it doesn't mean that I ENJOY doing so! I work 8-4:30, a BIG sacrifice on my part because I HATE COMPUTERS. After that strict regimen, I WANT my PERSONAL time to be just that... PERSONAL. And in my personal time, no one that truly cares about me or knows me should ask me to fix a computer because... it is insane to do such an outrage to lovely me. Personal time is for doing things I enjoy, as painting, writing, reading, scrapbooking, touring, fighting, being pesky, being godly... BUT it is NOT and I repeat NOT the time to go give CPR to a PC. Hate it... Not willing to do it... Will curse a lot if I have to... And you will fall in my black list.

So... After giving the reason of my dislike of computers, now my reasoning for me being in space... It took me a long time, but my best friend learned that she could only ask techy questions to me if she called me at work... Now, on Friday, one of my dear co-workers, the one that always hears me complaining about people asking me pc stuff after dark, storms in asking me to go to her house to fix her pc... I said nothing at first, breathed in and out, and managed an "I'll see... this weekend is full for me". Today, as I was dreaming of lovely forests and felines, my aunt storms in followed by my dear mother, both rudely waking me up. My mother's presence and desire to speak to me equals an instantaneous "I have PC problems". She didn't say that, she started with "I have a little money...". I was pissed. I was awakened after a deep sleep... And anyone who knows me KNOWS that is just... suicidal. I got off bed screaming, cursing, to say the least. Five minutes later no one else was in my bedroom... but the damage was done... Me, almost having a heartstroke and being at my worst anger moment... which would take like 3 hours to vanish...

Went to the house to take pictures of the watery walls as evidence of bad construction, so I have something to show the contractor... Went to get some sweets to even my anger. And phoned my dear mother to finally ask what was the matter. Why should I ask? I already knew... I play dumb so well... And so to her house to fix the damn problem... She wanted a friggin backup, and I delivered. And the PC gave its last breath afterwards, as it was foresaw. She traps me, making me take the friggin tower with me so I fix it. On the way out, she adds another tower that belonged to her dead husband so I make the OS work, and almost gave in a third she had in storage... And that's why, ladies and gentlemen, I hate visiting my dear mother... A simple how are you will never come from her lips, but a "Fix me the computer" is all she speaks to me. I screamed, I cursed, and it didn't matter for I ended up with two towers in my car's back... and not the medieval kind...

I arrived home, placed the towers in the living room, signalled them and asked my aunt if she though it was fair that the only day I have that I can dedicate to myself I had to waste 5 hours in the stupid computers, not only that, since now I have to troubleshoot, find parts and fix them in what is left of my spare time... She just gives the "I told her she shouldnt bug you" look, nothing else... But it's not in honest intent, as everyone thinks I do nothing, so what if I have to waste hours doing a little techie job? What about my own plans? I ALWAYS have to change plans to adjust them to everyone's needs... Is anyone adjusting my needs to their schedule? And if I don't then I am the evil, anarchic one that delivers foul intent and evil thoughts and actions... Right...

I am living in space. And even if noone listens, I'll keep screaming. It's the only thing that I can do... especially when you deal with family issues... And then everyone wonders why I wanted a house far away...

Gee... I wonder why...

10-4

A Pool Party at San Germán...

Well, after beginning the day at 2am to watch my beloved WNTW program… things actually got better. Slept around three hours, then Groundel finally showed up. We went to see my house at Hormigueros (been 3 weeks since my last visit) and I was pleasantly surprised at all the work my uncle has done in there. He has destroyed all bad weeds from the surroundings and even at the cliff. Wow. I picture a nice gazebo on that spot… and a wooden walkway… Daydreaming… To pop the cloud, as I opened the door to go to the 2nd floor, the foyer area was flooded. I automatically turned to pissed mode. Watching the watermarks on the walls that the contractor built made me turn to REALLY pissed mode. I checked everything, and it all has to do with the connection of oldhouse-new house… the edges are crooked and water comes in from the rain. Nothing much to do today… So I departed trying to blow my steam in some other way…

Stopped at Kmart and browsed the store… Received a call from fellow pirates that were waiting at a certain pool. The call did the trick, as I was hesitant on my decision to go or not to go. So, picked up some Doritos and off I went to the pirate cave… José and Graciela were already in the pool, Aníbal opened the door. The party was just the right amount, with the right amount of kids and people that didn’t spoil the evening at all. I found myself in the water almost instantly, and I stayed there as a lovely dark siren for more than 4 hours. It was great. The dark clouds and the rain was great. The sun that came up afterwards was great. The night falling on the daylight was great. Company, comments, fun, was great. Graciela made a yummy asopao so everyone would leave with a warm stomach, and the birds were happy. Made it home, in time to write this. A sweet night sleep awaits. ;)

On other news, seems Kyonene hurt his back or leg again. (sight) Will monitor tomorrow, to see if he needs a vet visit…

Busy days… But they have been filled with drama, suspense and fun. What more can I wish for?

10-4

Pirate INVASION at Joyudas, PR

Last night a friend told me that one of his friends told him, after being a bit aloof in thoughts, that as he passed by Joyudas he had seen pirates walking all over… He mentioned it again, adding that the people were dressed as pirates, GROWN UPS dressed as pirates… His wonder became unbelief as my friend told him that I was the mastermind behind the Pirate Menace. The guy insisted “But that was in Joyudas, I tell you, all over!” LOL Hilarious.

So… As I arrived early at the restaurant so I would setup the audio-visual stuff, the people of Aguadilla was already there… And ALL of them was in gear. I dressed up, as well as the staff. But we didn’t have deep faith that people would actually go as pirates… I was delighted! I should have known Aguadilla would not fail me. They are the crew of mayhem, and they have a solid “fun” vain. And so, they delivered kid-like fun. I had to go home to get some light extensions, so when I arrived the people that were going to the island had already left. Bu I was not stranded alone. Some leftovers from Mayaguez started to arrive, mainly with pirate props… Ah! Their faces as the people from the island arrived! A lesson in how to have REAL fun, from Mayhem Crew. Thank-you, mateys.

The presentation inside the restaurant began. Counselors were called upon, as their childhood-adolescence pics appeared on screen, and a small semblance on what they wanted to be when they grew up and the like was read. Some even cried, as they have not seen the pics in years. They were wet with water pistols each time they said something, and some where asked to stand on chairs and sing. At the end of each semblance, they were asked to dance the “Pelúa", an old school bus tradition. The kids…ermm… counselors… loved it. The “punishments”, being tied up on a column, gunned with water, attacked with water-bombs… The pirate staff had a water-blast from it all. As the presentation went on, food was served. The restaurant’s organization was flawless as I expected (that’s why I recommended it). After the presentation I gave a small recess showing pictures from the island adventure thanks to a co-workers’ digicam. Evidence of MiceIsland’s Piracy has been recorded for a lifetime. Evidence of a couple’s after death love was recorded. Evidence of the Captain being tied up and shot was recorded. Evidence of tight people becoming party animals was recorded. Evidence of all region’s zones mingling in true camaraderie was recorded. Yup, the kids had fun… And it was not over yet.

Lunch ended, and the official activities for the kids began. I had made 2 ships as stage, not only for show but for the games. Two groups were divided, each had to be inside each ship. Pirates were given ammo (black ping-pong balls that acted as cannonballs) and they were expected to fire at each other. The ship with more balls inside its floor would loose. As the battle began, I played the Pirates of the Caribbean ship fight scene on screen. LOL As the game halted they kept on fighting, throwing cannonballs to each other for longer than expected. LOL That was FUN. One ship sank, the survivors were given “casi ganadores” prizes.

So, the winning crew was lined-up, and a game of Pass the Parrot began (think Hot Potato gone shipwrecked). And the count of winners descended to 5. The so-called winners had to walk the plank in one foot, blindfolded. One of them tried mutiny, and had to walk the plank inside a potato bag. Ironically enough, he passed the test. :P So, the 3 winners had to duel drinking a bottle of ale, the fastest two would be chosen… In our case, the bottles were baby bottles, ale substituted by water. The two girls that got so far struggled with keeping their lipstick on and sucking. The mutinee drank the whole bottle in one gasp. Sucking experience demonstrated flawlessly. :O Nevertheless, one girl and the mutinee reained as the last two contestants.

The final test was a duel. Swords were stuck on boyo-breads and so they had to duel for their boyos. LOL Sonia was attacked by treason by the mutinee, and so she was angered… which ended up in José loosing all his boyo as Sonia attacked in blind fury. The winner of the whole games deal, Sonia… What she won? A nice dinner for two at the restaurant. At first she was like yeah right, but when she was given a certificate her expression changed. Yup, the dinner was real.

Each member of the staff selected the best pirates on gear, and from the chosen group the winner was selected by applause. This time Denisse, a clean-preppy pirate, won the prize: cut and spa at a boutique in Añasco.

Gifts were given to each counselor, and final words were pronounced. And so, everyone went bye-bye. I stayed to clean up all the sand I had put on tables and around the ships, and went to congratulate the owner of the restaurant for their flawless service. Just as I recalled they gave it during old high-school reunions… Funny enough, as I went to the parking most people had left, but the ones from Aguadilla lingered in a big group, seated over cars, talking & chillin. It would be a perfect workworld if people from other regions were as they are…

So, the Pirate Bash ended, and the memories that it left on everyone were quite something… Today a supervisor was telling me that of all things that has been done here, yesterday would be the best memory for those retiring soon. Am I proud, or what? :D

It is necessary to be a kid and see the world in innocence and wonder to achieve true happiness. No money can replace the joy of sharing that comes from the heart. True story. So… With this success I simply took a tankard and digged in! Arck! Arck!

I love it when a plan comes together.

10-4

V for Vendetta

Hats off and standing ovation. This movie is by far the best one I have seen in years. The feeling that overcame me when I saw the DC and then Vertigo signs at the beginning was an omen. The performance, the poetry in motion, the powerful delivery… I absolutely loved it, it enthralled me from beginning to end. It is timeless, and I wonder how mass people here should apply the same lessons to solve our political issues…

See it! If you have nothing to do, SEE IT. And if you hae an appointment, cancel it and SEE IT. No butts about it.

A walk in the clouds...

Yup, still sick... Yesterday decorated the restaurant and it looks cool. Made two pirate ships: the Rotten Crab and the Lady Hook. Filled the place with sand, hopefully the owner wont mind. Working on the presentation and later on will be doing some pirate bandanas. Tomorrow is the big event, and there will be the treasure hunt as well... Yay... Ugh! Me and my ideas. I choose the worst time to get sick. I just hope it all pulls through.

Today is Trilogy's B-day, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Arck! Arck!

This place is too cold. Still have to put together all the info on the people... if I can actually DO that...

Whatever... Gotta keep it short...

10-4

sick, sea sickness perhaps?

Skipped work to complete Mission: Bank last Friday. Fast, easy find. Lucinda was happy, so we were all happy. Wheeeeeeeeeee! Once again Coriolis bombed us… Found old Joe dwelling in his lair… Replenished our tummies… And out to the island once more! It was a loooong day… I arrived feeling lousy, and so the tale as old as time unfolded… by midnight I had a high fever, everything ached and I was having delusions.

Managed to actually get on the car and drive to the doctor’s office on Saturday. Got prescriptions, and back to hibernation mode. Ongoing fever that ignored the swarm of acetaminophen. Awful. By Sunday’s late afternoon I could finally get off bed. At least the fever & aches were gone, but I have an infernal cough and a misbehaved runny nose. Whatever… LightShadow passed by, and along with Groundel we all went to hunt for food. At least something was entertaining… And so free days are over and here I am, back to Monday…

This is bad. This week is the stupid activity, and today I’m supposed to visit the restaurant & isle, and paint the boats. Tomorrow I’m supposed to pass at 4:30 by the restaurant to decorate. On wed I’m supposed to do the head pieces… And Thursday I should go along with the staff from Helios to gather the crew from Hell and have fun… or so is planned… That endeavour should cost along $30 for the food and the money that we all had to give for the counselors food… It’s a big ouch on the pocket. Plus, I am expected to attend because I’m part of the staff, no buts about it. It all sucks. I’m planning on giving instructions and the hell with it all. I may have all ideas and how to’s on my head, but I don’t see any happy gratification from it… And I feel worst than crap. Bad timing for getting sick, but nothing I can do about that. Maybe it was an omen meaning I should let the hyenas take care of the titanic so they drown with it… Whatever. It’s all disappointing…

I just want a warm bed, a nice 80s station playing on the background, and some codeine medicine pills so I sleep like a log. For the next 3 days. Now THAT would be blissful.

10-4

Hyenass vs Lyoness

EXTRA EXTRA!!!
SHOWDOWN AT WORK ENDS UP IN CATFIGHT!!!
NO ONE HURT!!! FREE TRIP TO EL CARAJO!!
EXTRA EXTRA!!!

So, MsBigmouth made a mistake today, she tried to be a bigmouth with moi. You know, me… calm, quiet, passive…deadly me. MsBigmouth assumed that I would just go along with her stupidity, as people are always scared of her or just stay quiet. She was after all the BIG BITCH of the office, in attitude and other things… She spoke and the world would stop, she always had the last word, and she won every fight... No contenders or survivors. MsBigmouth, the big shit! Well... that last part may be true... she's full of it. At least her throne within the attitude realm has been taken. Another bitch is in town. She wanted attitude? She thought noone would defy her? She thought she could speak ill about an innocent victim? She thought she would have all the words in the world to make a point with her devilish tongue and actions? She was deeply wrong in underestimate calm, quiet, passive… me.

You all know I get bitchy, but you all also know that it is only when I am right and when something must be done about…something. Between friends that may be my true self, at work my aura of FEAR simply keeps people away… Sometimes the shield comes down whenever an innocent needs shelter or good advise or listening ears… But most of the time, this dragon reigns from the shadows in its full glory. At work I keep poise, smile politely and do go too deep because who needs the little people finding out things about the goddess… But sometimes action needs to appear when an offense happens in your nose, about someone who isn’t present and who happens to be a kind, beautiful soul that the hyenas want to humiliate… as they usually do. I wont let that happen as long as I breathe. The paladin in me unsheathed her sword, and with strength of words and plenty of devilish poise, she battled MsBigmouth fearlessly. The paladin would have the final word, as truth was her shield and justice burned within her sword's edge.

Oh, MsBigmouth was relentless, and hinted on raising her tone to me… Hah! I dared her with my stare and half smile. She threw her poison, but my breathweapon simply obliterated her. In subtle words I simply said the truth: She has an attitude problem, her personal problem with the victim was not to be a matter for the staff meeting, she should know the proper place and time to say things, she should acknowledge that others were better than her, had more education and instruction and manners, she should acknowledge that being loud and making shows would work in a short run, not forever, and that everything I said was not because of gossip but of facts that I have personally witnessed over time. She said she would not speak or deal with the victim, blah blah. I smiled and told her: “If that is the case, then I shouldn’t be seating here trying to help any of you. But I am a professional. I don’t have to like you to do something for the greater good… And be certain I don’t like YOU. But you don’t see me speaking ill of you, or poisoning people against you. You speak ill of someone that is good, has a good heart, works hard. I wont allow it. And if you don’t like me saying this, big deal. You said your thing, I said mine. She deserves her achievements because they have been made out of sacrifice and tears, and surviving being around your kind. She has all the right in the world to make the Invocation because her heart has no shadows and her soul is beautiful.”.

Somehow, MsBigmouth shut up. Her face changed, she was mad… but would not fight me. Guess I know too much about her. No one in the staff said anything else… Dead silence. I guess they all know I know much about each one of the pack. I didn’t left the reunion. I crossed my legs, and coyly told one of the other girls: “So, what’s next in the agenda? Oh, don’t worry about victim, she cannot attend. Her boss is not going to the activity and needs her in the office. So after all, the wish is granted. Silly comment, huh MsBigmouth?” I stayed until the end. MsBigmouth did not look at me at all. Each time she spoke I looked straight at her , with the icy daring stare I manage to give when I am really pissed… All with a mild smile.

The reunion finished. Hyenas run away. I just went to my office and put my stuff away as the time for going was near… With the door closed behind me, I cried… just because I had to let out how mad, angry, upset I had felt. A kind soul doesn’t deserve such cruel remarks and treatment. It is so unfair that thoughtless bitches could roam around destroying lives with their ill thoughts and words and then get to laugh at the expense of innocents. I have made a point of no tolerance for such beings. They think themselves the great bitches in town? They are in for a big surprise. The Lyoness is loose. Beware. I can be the biggest bitch of all if I want to, and if my target deserves it. If I see injustice, I will say/do/act. No buts about it. No second thoughts. I was surprised at myself because I kept cool through it all… Playing Lyoness has never been easy, but the entivcement of the hyenas made me a natural… Perhaps I have what it takes to be a boss after all… Hmmm… Whatever.

10-4

The asshole story

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge:
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, thelegs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and theblood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge !!

Ain't it true, huh?

Women's Requiem

Yesterday was the Day of Women. Besides the fact that only one person, a client, was the only one to congratulate me (I forget I shouldn’t complain, for most I am an asexual entity) it is sad that there must be a specific day assigned with that in mind. Is there a men’s day? No, we need to be reminded that 364 days of the years are men’s days, one is just for women, and even in that one day not even the boss congratulates you… Hmmm… With the constant violence to which women are submitted over and over and over, that is not surprising. And the masochists teach machismo to their kids… I don’t get it. I wish there was more brains instead of pharmacy blondes that wants a family and a hubby that supports them, and to achieve that purpose they accept anything. I pity them. Maybe is my independent, pushy, bitchy, overachiever, nonconformist nature that leads people to think I am not a woman. I’m surprised they don’t think I’m a transsexual or something…

Well… I don’t need a man, unlike 95% of females in this cursed piece of Earth. Wanting is not needing. Somewhere in translation, women treat need as want and vice-versa. The traditional genre tasks dictates men should be providers, women are weak and belong in the house raising a family and being a neatherthal’s slave. Men underestimate women’s work in the house, as family keepers and even more as professionals that juggle everything. At work you see it everyday. Sometimes, I’ll say 75% of the time, it is women’s own fault because they don’t understand that a workplace is not the place to talk about babies, makeup and sex. The other 25% are dismissed as unimportant, ignorant bitches that think they know what they are doing but really don’t. Yup, those are the bosses I have faced, I’m so damn tired of proving myself… At work you are expcted to be a professional and a very alluring sexual decoration. That is what I have witnessed, as bimbos earn more than I do just because they show their assets. Well… Sorry but I won’t get in that list. I believe that if a man can do it, a woman can do it better. A pity most women have been raised by machist ladies who impose an attitude of suck it up… literally.

Will take my frustrations elsewhere. No one listens anyway… But I’ll fight the real enemy, always.

10-4

Lucinda needs to travel to the big apple... not in USA, the boricua big apple... on Friday. I may help her so she doesn't get lost. Depends on work, by now it's a 75% of a go. We'll see...

I was having a not-so-bad day, when a deep downer came my way… Now I am feeling quite sad… Not much to do about it, though…

Got news that a girl at work, the one I call the puertorrican elf, lost her baby two-three days ago. She was on her 7th month, and after feeling some weird pains her hubby took her to the hospital. There the scanner & doctors revealed the baby was dead, it had no liquid. She was narrating the whole experience seemingly calm… Well, the girl is barely 18, she has her whole life to try and succeed on that matter… but it is a bad punch, since her whole life has been a struggle and a chaotic evil cloud. Being a mom actually was making her feel that life was worth living, a smile was always in her face even if all these months were a bad thing because she couldn’t actually eat much… Whatever. It is sad. But one thing is certain: She was too young and had too many troubles to actually be thinking of having a kid. I hope that all the energy that she put into that endeavour is now put to studying and healing her self. Leomaries is a lovely young lady that has survived many ordeals, and seems life is just focused on making her toughen up… I hope all has been for the best. I hope she knows she can count on me for anything.

10-4

Yauco during the morning. Pirates mayhem everywhere. People mad at me. Others enticed and delighted. The usual. ;)

Running... Gotta go.

10-4

Por que el pollo cruzo el camino

EL CASO: Un pollo al borde de una carretera. La cruza.
PREGUNTA: ¿porqué el pollo ha cruzado la carretera?

Las siguientes son las respuestas a tan importante enigma:

RENÉ DESCARTES: para ir al otro lado.

PLATÓN: Por su bien. Al otro lado de la carretera se encuentra la Verdad.

ARISTÓTELES: Está en la naturaleza del pollo el cruzar las carreteras

KARL MARX: Era históricamente inevitable

CAPITAN JAMES T. KIRK: para llegar adonde ningún otro pollo había llegado antes.

HIPOCRATES: Ha cruzado la carretera por culpa de un exceso de secreciones en el páncreas.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR: He tenido un sueño donde todos los pollos eran libres de cruzar una carretera sin tener que justificar sus actos

MOISÉS: Y Dios descendió del paraíso y Le dijo al pollo: "cruza la carretera". Y el pollo cruzó y Él vio que esto era bueno.

RICHARD M.NIXON: El pollo no cruzó la carretera, repito, el pollo no cruzó nunca la carretera.

NICOLÁS MAQUIAVELO: Lo importante es que el pollo cruzó la carretera. ¿A quien importa el porqué? Solamente el fin de atravesar la carretera ya justifica cualquier motivo que hubiera tenido.

SIGMUND FREUD: El hecho de que te preocupe porqué el pollo cruzó la carretera ya revela tu fuerte sentimiento de inseguridad sexual latente.

BILL GATES: precisamente acabamos de terminar el nuevo programa "OfficePollo2003" que además de cruzar las carreteras, será capaz de incubar huevos, archivar los documentos importantes, etc...

BUDA: preguntarse tal cosa (porqué el pollo cruzó la carretera) es renegar de tu propia naturaleza de pollo

GALILEO: y sin embargo, cruza

FEDERICO TRILLO Y ANA PALACIO: puede que cruzara o puede que no cruzara

JOSE MARIA AZNAR: mire usted, el pollo iba en misión humanitaria

ZAPATERO: señor pollo, ¡déjenos en paz! (retomo a los franceses)

LA IGLESIA DE LA CIENCIOLOGIA: La razón está en vosotros, pero no la conocéis todavía. Mediante un módico pago de 1.500, más el alquiler de un detector de mentiras, le haremos una análisis psicológico que nos permitir descubrir la razón.

BILL CLINTON: Juro sobre la constitución que no ha pasado nada entre el pollo y yo.

EINSTEIN: El hecho de que sea el pollo el que cruce la carretera o que sea la carretera la que se mueve bajo el pollo es relativo al referencial.

ZEN: el pollo puede cruzar la carretera en vano, solo el Maestro conoce el ruido de su sombra detrás de la pared.

STALIN: hay que fusilar al pollo inmediatamente, y también a los testigos de la escena y a 10 personas más escogidas al azar por no haber impedido este acto subversivo

GEORGE W. BUSH: El hecho de que el pollo haya cruzado la carretera con toda impunidad a pesar de las resoluciones de la ONU representa un grave ataque a la democracia, la justicia y la libertad. Esto prueba sin ninguna duda que teníamos que haber bombardeado esta carretera hace tiempo. Con el objetivo de garantizar la paz en esa región, y para evitar que los valores que defendemos sean otra vez atacados por este tipo de terrorismo, el gobierno de los Estados Unidos de América ha decidido enviar 17 portaaviones, 46 destructores y 154 fragatas, con el apoyo desde tierra de 243.000 soldados de infantería y por el aire de 846 bombarderos, que tendrán por misión, en nombre de la libertad y de la democracia, el eliminar todo asomo de vida en los gallineros a 5.000 km a la redonda, y después, asegurarse con unos disparos de misiles muy precisos de que todo lo que parezca de lejos o de cerca un gallinero sea reducido a un montón de cenizas y no pueda nunca más desafiar a nuestra nación con su arrogancia. Hemos decidido también que después, este país será generosamente dirigido por nuestro gobierno, que reconstruirá gallineros según las normas vigentes de seguridad, poniendo a su frente a un gallo elegido democráticamente por el embajador de los USA. Para financiar todas estas reconstrucciones, nos conformaremos con el control absoluto de toda la producción de cereales de la región durante 30 años, sabiendo que los habitantes locales se beneficiaran de una tarifa preferente sobre una parte de la producción, a cambio de su total cooperación. En este nuevo país de justicia, paz y libertad, podemos asegurarles que nunca más un pollo intentará cruzar una carretera, por la simple razón que no habrá más carreteras y que los pollos no tendrán patas. Que Dios bendiga a América.

LEONEL FERNANDEZ: ha sido por negligencia del gobierno, que no llevado una política diáfana en lo que a la cría de plumíferos se refiere...Este infeliz pollo es una víctima más de la indiferencia estatal y del mal manejo de los recursos del Estado!

HIPOLITO MEJIA: yo le doy una pela a ese pollo cualquier día por afrentoso. Qué es lo que tiene que estar en el medio, cruzando la carretera? Acaso los pollos pagan placa en este país?

VINCHO CASTILLO: tenemos pruebas fehacientes de que el pollo fue presionado a cruzar la carretera como parte de unas maquinaciones malévolas, de modo que cuando estuviese fuera del gallinero, las autoridades se lo incautaran todo: su nido, sus huevos, su alimento especial. Esto ha sido un caldo -- digo, un plan -- cocinado por la "tormenta" Malkún.

ALVAREZ RENTA: cuando el pollo cruzó la carretera, ya había vendido sus acciones de Pio Pio Incorporated a una empresa propiedad de un taíno que tenía intereses en La Pinta, La Niña y La Santamaria Limited, financiada por una tal Isabel The Catholic, que recibió fondos de un tal Nabucodonosor, accionista principal en la compañía constructora The Babel Tower Holdings...

RAMON BAEZ FIGUEROA: no tengo comentarios, dejaré que esto lo aclaren mis abogados... (fuera de cámara: "ahora na má falta que también me echen la culpa por esta vaina del pollo...")


VIERNA DARGUTH: Sinceramente, si el pollo cruzó el camino es porque le dió la gana. Cuidao que le buscamos las cinco patas al gato para todo... Señores, vivan sus vidas sin estar pendientes a los pollos que cruzaron la calle y que nunca explicaron sus motivos. Dejen de ser tan entrometidos! Puede parecer patético, pero esto es precisamente lo que la gente hace con sus problemas y sus vidas, divagar sobre el pollo ajeno, sobre las razones ajenas, sobre los motivos ajenos... Y sobre todo ASUMIR posiciones que es muy probable que el pollo nunca racionalizó (es un animal despues de todo). Tristemente aquí el pollo se convierte en una alegoría de la persona común que cruza la calle y que la gente despelleja con chismes y comentarios que a la larga nada tiene que ver con el pollo... digo, con la persona. Hmmm... Una gran lección, no? Aprendamos de ella...

Próxima pregunta:
Quién vino primero, el pollo o el huevo...

10-4

Been looking for pirate stuff, getting ideas for the counselors activity. Today TV was cool, showing Salems Lot early at midday. Went to check out furniture so I would suffer a bit, me and my masochist side... And visited Lucinda just because I can.

Watched the end of La Academia and I was baffled. Just because Mariana is hot by public standards, she didn't deserve the 1st place... I can't believe that the fat girl was out, she demonstarted being the true showwoman of the program every week... And I can't believe they gave Afid a 4th place when he deserved a 2nd or 3rd... Public's votes are based only on looks, not talent. The usual. It sucks.

Need to go get gas early in the morning, my car is almost empty and I didn't realize it... BTW, yesterday was the premier of TLC's Logging in for love. Ewwww! Corny and stereotypical... WNTW still rules. Discovered some shows that are VERY interesting on HGTV. Whatever...

Need my beauty sleep. Sayonara!

Changing a little here and there... Finally recovered the past old posts that were missing from the list... Still editing, but gotta sleep, so bear with me!

Decisions, decisions:
San German: PhD Psy Consulting & PhD Industrial Psy
Ponce: PhD Clinical Psy & PsyD Clinical Psy, and MS Social Work

So... Which to choose? I'm inclined towards Social Work, PhD Consulting, or Psy Clinical Psy. Any comments?

At work, playing chess... Got letter from RUM... Will see if it makes a difference... Gotta change my career even if it means more work/headaches. Better die happily and swiftly than in a slow rot...

10-4

Friday: Hoodwiked. Loved it. Funny and entertaining. Grandma kicks serious ass! At night watched 3 hours of WNTW, and then surrendered to old Sandman.

Saturday: The plans of taking sick auntie to the doctor and to visit grandfather with the doctor were fumbled thanks to everyone’s attitude. They don’t want me to mess with things. Heated argument. Big headache.

Sunday: Lazy. Watched Glory, Batman and The Shining. Also many episodes of house improvement.

Not many news, not much to say… Today, things flowing rapidly at work. Made some plans to see if I can follow-through with them… Plans, plans, plans… To make changes in the house, to get everything straight, and to do the things I want to do in the process.

10-4

This seems to be a never-ending week. Been at UIA yesterday and today, at least the days are going fast. Exploring the graduate programs of diverse universities to see what I can do… Trilogy has called the last 3 days but I have not felt like seeing him, his same questions bother and annoy much… Whatever happened to creative thinking and creative talk? Groundel have two tests today, hopefully he will nail them. Coriolis is completing a disappearing act, I wonder if snakes ate him… And LS is burying herself with college. Everyone has been really busy, myself included.

Don’t feel like writing much… I just wanna go home. The cough is worst by the minute and I don’t feel well at all.

10-4

Just as I mentioned to someone, seemed that we were all in druid mode this weekend. Went on Sat to see how my house is, and the sábila plants that my uncle took there were almost burnt. I told him that he placed them in a wrong spot but he never listens… Well, went to aunties, got two big pots and on Sun went back to plant them and take them with me. Yay! They might be saved… Also, took some helechos at aunties and placed them on pots. Gonna do different pots so I have what I need to make the garden I want in the fron of the house. Gotta write to the Wilderness gov thingie to get uvas playeras for free, and visit RUMs plant station. Whatever… Little by little, since I aint living in the house until it is completely done…

Speaking of getting it done, seems there is a leak that the contractor had “fixed” that is leaking again. I have a feeling they left it with the plastic rubber connector and that the right thing was to put copper and weld it… How come I know that? Well, gotta call the guy and make things happen. Still have not received the light certificate, until I do I am not paying my dear installments. Let’s see how that goes…

Monday, long day. Cleaning, laundry… I need a vacation from the weekend.
10-4

I am beyond mad or upset. I can’t believe the ineptitude that my dear mother has when handling important issues. Today early in the morning she calls to ask what to do with my grandfather who had a pain. I was baffled. I guess that in the Fairyland that she lives in there is no 911. What’s the point of calling my aunt when my aunt can do nothing but get nervous about it? Oh, I get pissed because my mother is not an idiot, she is not insane or incapacitated. We are talking about a woman in her 50-something. So I don’t get it. My grandfather has fallen more than 6 times, and in none she had the common sense of taking him to ER for an x-ray test. How about a lab? He is frail because he doesn’t receive proper food (actually almost none at all).

I have been witnessing this carelessness for more than a year, and I am fed up. She takes his money and there is no food or medicines or professional care for him. She has lived for free in that house all her life, ever since she divorced from my father when I was 4 years old. Everyone has helped her at all times. Her parents took care of her. She didn’t raise her kids, we were raised me by my aunt and my sister by her godmother. Damnit, the woman has had no responsibilities in her whole life. All has been a screen of being social and being wealthy and being a respectable person. Now she’s dating a guy that is almost 80 and that is in complete need of care. The guy what needs is a maid or housekeeper that takes care of him. And she has time everyday to go pick him up and have lunch and dinner and take him places so he stop being depressed… She gets out at 8am and returns at 11pm. In the meanwhile, who takes care of her parents? Wouldn’t it make more sense that she takes care of her elderly instead of an elderly stranger who has 2 daughters that could take care of him? My mother do everything for this guy, and nothing at all for her parents. But she loves getting their social security checks.

What about food? What about hiring someone to take care of him, bathing him and feeding him during the day? How about a nun to stay with him at nights… oh, yeah, because my mother complaints that she has to pass the night upstairs with him and that it is just too much for her. How about having a scheduled doctor visit each month, taking lab tests until no anemia shows up? How about giving her father quality of life, the therapies he needed? He is not as senile and useless as she makes him look. He is just drugged. How come he acknowledges my aunt and me when we pass by? And holds our arms asking us to please don’t go? And if he gets outbursts of rage, I ask… If a dog was left for 2 days without food… would he ask for food nicely? Or a cat? Or any animal? Well, I expect a human to get enraged if he knows he has money and no food is given to him. That’s common sense. I also expect rage when all he receives is a constant fight from his wife, whom I have heard the way that treats him from outside whenever I have passed by and stood outside listening without calling.

I am not dumb or deaf. I have speaked up and they have made no attempt to listen to me. My mother seems an angel but is a careless bitch. My grandmother is anemic too, but at least she goes to a small store near their house and gets something to eat from there. What she gets for my grandfather, the one that they wont allow to go sit in the living room, HIS living room? He cannot even go to the bathroom, they make him do everything in his bed. They have made him handicapped out of hunger and mistreat.

I am tired of witnessing. I have given warnings and advice. But I am so ignorant… So… I will be heard one way or another. I cannot wait until they kill him.

I called the Family Department. A coworker gave me the name of someone who works there and deals with elderly abuse. She will visit the house in 2-3 weeks to check the conditions and give me solutions. She said she will tell them it was an anonymous call, I told her she can give my whole name. I don’t care. Whatever I do, I do looking at the enemy in the eye. I don’t have to run or hide. My mother needs to get a lesson. When you praise God, you should acknowledge that he said “Do unto others as you would want them to do to you” as well as one of the “Obras de Misericordia” is to take care of the sick. I know and live more the Religion than the ones that go every weekend to church and claim to be good sheep. I know her conscience is not at peace, and her deeds have not been just out of the goodness of her heart. But I am not like my aunt, who is always complaining and putting things in God’s hands. I do believe God will help truth prevail, but I believe also that you have to make things happen. And I will. In the meanwhile I am to make sure he gets medical treatment, and I plan to gather proof my way. Truth will be uncovered, the hard way.

I suspect my aunt will be a bit alarmed because she is in for no-scandals… Me, bring them on. If I go to any means to save a kitty, I think that I might feel drawn to do the same or a bit more with my grandfather. Common sense. My sword has been drawn, there is no turning back. For truth and justice and love. To the death.

10-4

Hmm, I just learned that there is an AEELA study financial aid, so I am going to check it out. I want to study something else… someone mentioned psychology… I am also thinking of social work… That has always attracted me. Or interior design. I need to gather more information on the different offers available at the universities around here… We’ll see…

I feel outraged, challenged, inspired and at the same time I feel sad. I wish the world to be one of harmony, in which nature and humans collaborated and there were no wars or deceit or ill will. But evil has deep roots, and so many are blinded by the wrong sources of hate… I am just one believer in the good that can be, against the thousands of hundreds that work in favor of destruction and chaos… Never mind that. I sincerely believe I am to make a difference in my surroundings, in all the people I touch. Perhaps if they pass unto others the chain of kindness, something big and good can come out of if. All is not lost, as long as there remains just one person with the light of rightfulness in his/her eyes.

10-4

Valentine’s Wishes:
For Maria: A teleporting machine so she can go anywhere in a blink (aint that a reporter’s dream?)
For Joe: A motorcycle so he can push his stamina to his limits and travel across the isle to meet with his love
For Coriolis: A nice razor with aftershave
For Sara: Some Vodka, earplugs and an hour at the HoloDeck
For Groundel: Some pills of friendliness, and Memory Power
For Trilogy: A cloak of invisibility so he can truly live up to the song “I’ll be watching you” and a ticket to the moon with no return, all expenses paid
For myself: Getting the loto number and getting the heck outta here

Happy Hunting!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
Hope you all enjoy a day full of candy and good wishes. May all of you get some! Jeje!

Well, of the flu remains a very healthy cough. Of the bad moments remains hope that things will get better. Of people remains the fact that few good friends are best than a crowd of “funny strangers”.

My temper is in check, bad things will always be bad and nothing can change that… so breath in breath out. There are always some highlights in life, I guess…

On Sat my uncle showed up asking for the key of my house. Turns out he had been jumping over the fence to get in and use his machete on the wilderness covering my house. Ok… I figured someone is really bored. Whatever. Since he has no finca of his own I guess that my house will be the new attraction? Went over there in the afternoon, and he also had been welding the water pipes… Now I have a faucet very accessible outside, and no visible leaking. Ok… I drew the line at the comment of the front having a perfect space to harvest gandules. I don’t want the farm in the front. What is wrong with having some landscaping? I know over his house what seems like wild weeds are in fact gandules, tomatoes, ginger and the like, but I think you can have all based on location and organization. Front-landscaping. Back-he can do as he pleases. I know nothing of agriculture so any advise on that I welcome with open arms… but don’t push it!

Also, on Sat I re-entered the information wave, riding the cURL and asserting that it’s not a bug but a feature… Whatever. Got me a cel so there’s some communication between me-auntie-the world. Hate having to do it, but the phone damage at aunties is something that the phone company doesn’t seem to want to repair, sooooo… Auntie was happy about it. And she immediately made the mistake of giving the number to the wrong crowd… Breath in, breath out. My mother immediately called me because her computer is not working. You know so many reasons to call a person, but my mother always calls me only if there is a computer issue… and it goes beyond making me mad and upset. Grrrr…

On Sun Lucinda went to aunties for she needed a Chinese costume for both kids… long story. We tried the whole day to get the guy she won the auction from, but it proved to be mission impossible. At 8pm we gave up, told her I would try getting the guy next day… And so I did. Sent the payment and hopefully she will get the package on time… Fingers crossed.

Been scheduling some loose problems so they get solved, and doing some customer support. At least the morning was not boring. Hopefully the afternoon will go as fast.

10-4

Well, I can talk. I just can't breathe. Seems I'm using my matita-abilities to get oxygen... LOL Whatever. Just heard a strange saying "Estás más combiná que una papeleta". Ok... It just made me laugh. Don't ask. My cough is a bit dry, so now its a matter of getting sinus medicines since the flu turned or evolved into sinus. Hmmm... I should become a shaman and get more medicine plants... Or a witch so I get my own demonito... Jeje...

Been 2 days that I know nothing of Groundel. Hope he's doing ok, that Lucinda is taking care of him, that her kids are not driving him crazy and that everything is in order. No one has a phone, so... It's pathetic, I know... But ain't that our normal mode? Pathethic Anonymus. Ok... well known, but humor me...

Back on track, sort of. Slept some last night. Let's see how the day unfolds...

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EL CICLO DE LA VIDA EN PUERTO RICO
En la cadena de la vida:
El rico vive del pobre, el policía dice que cuida a los dos.
El ciudadano común se cuida de los tres
El trabajador mantiene a los cuatro.
El vago vive de los cinco.
El comerciante comercia con los seis.
El abogado enreda a los siete.
El cantinero emborracha a los ocho.
El cura absuelve a los nueve.
El doctor no cura a los diez.
El sepulturero entierra a los once.
El partido de turno gobierna a los doce.
Los políticos engañan a los trece y a su vez :
Al rico lo hace más rico.
Al pobre lo hace más pobre.
Al más pobre lo hace imbécil.
A los imbéciles los hace representantes a la cámara y senadores para
vivir de la corrupción, y así dejan de ser pobres.

El consuelo es que en Puerto Rico sólo seis "personas" tienen
problemas: Yo, tú, él, nosotros, vosotros y ellos.

Arghhhhhh! Rotting! This damn flu is a killer! The pills are keeping me alive, but damn... I slept almost nothing last night. Came to work because I knew I wouldn't sleep in the morning. The cats are calling for me but I cannot go in their room... Walking hurts. Talking hurts. Breathing hurts. Shot me! Somebody!!!! Anybody!!!

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Well, yesterday there was an activity at work, for students. but since only a few showed up there was plenty of leftover fancy food. Churrasco, carrot cake, nut cake... Yummy. Later in the afternoon would I learn that the marinara that the churrasco was placed on for 3 days would be the most disagreeable of things. Tummy trouble, followed by a sore throat that kept getting worst by the half-hour. Went to Sams to finally take my pic and get the card, delivered the goodies at home and then delivered Groundel. By 8pm I had a fever. So, spent the night with deliriums, taking medicines and the like... Oh, my so called normal nightlife... Today I gathered all that is left of a thing call energy, and here I am... at work... freezing my ass and my sinus with this stupid a/c... Taking non-drowsy pills that makes me drowsy anyway because all I want is a bed and a comforter... Hope I can make it through the day... It hurts to talk, so I'll be as quiet as a mouse... How nice...
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My horoscope today...

"Get excited, because this is going to be one great day, VIVIAN! Everything will go your way; it will seem as if you simply cannot lose. At work, team members will look to you as the leader. At home, family members express gratitude and affection. What more could anyone want? While you may be tempted to parlay this luck at the casino, don't act on the impulse. You are already a winner. You really do have it all. Enjoy it! You have earned this shining moment."

Yeah, right...

Today at work early to go to San German… Should be back at midday hopefully. I fil-trafa so lets hope things move fast… The deposit I made didn’t clear completely because the gov bank had it in hold, and the contractor’s check was cleared but left me in a big negative until the hold is out… I just have 60 box and cannot get to it until tomorrow night! How will I fill up my car’s gas tank, and how will I eat in San German and tomorrow… nice trivia… I just have to wonder WHY, WHY, WHY things ALWAYS have to be so HARD or DIFFICULT for me… WHY??????? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Ok. End of DRAMA. Now to Life... Unscripted.
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This weekend passed away as a lightning flash. Groundel needed a place to stay, and Lucinda took him in. We have been looking for a small room or something and nothing came up. Then Lucinda remembered that at the house where she lived years ago there was a basement that used to be rented… She called her aunt and the small apartment was available since the last tenant left it as a mess and the owner just closed it up. We went to see how bad it was on Sunday, and turns out the place is perfect. It needs cleaning and paint, but as a place just to sleep it is just what he needs. Water included, it will be a $75 monthly bill. Did I say perfect again? He doesn’t really need light, he’s kinda used to living in candlelight for the time he lived with his mother (they stopped paying the ligt bill in September…), so… Groundel will be Lucinda’s guest for another week. They should go on Friday to start the cleaning up-painting stuff, and move a mattress from the house above. Location is at walking distance to everything since it is at the heart of Mayaguez. So, he can go study, and can go work… He may get something thanks to another of his friends at Volcar (the guy left and is supervisor somewhere else and asked him to give him his resume to try getting him a part-time… Fingers crossed please). So… One less stress for me. I was really upset about people being so… bitchy and senseless about him having no home. I tried my uncle and that turned out as something bad bad bad. Seems he clearly forgets where he comes from, and how he made it. Oh, well… That’s a rule of thumb of humans. They forget their roots. Anyway… The important thing is that at least the night dwelling matter is closed. Now it’s up to Groundel to get a job and finish studying. After that, the sky’s the limit for him.

The showdown between my uncle and the contractor was as I expected… bad. I don’t get why my uncle is so… himself… making comments as if he were the one paying… You can get that feel, which is very wrong. I wanted him to help me view things about the forest-side of my dwelling, no to examine the actual house and start criticizing. He questioned why I wanted such dark tiles for the bath… I LIKE COBALT BLUE, SO WHAT! Then he makes that snarl he makes when he disapproves… Ahhhh! Saying that the actual tile was fine, that the floor was fine, that I just needed light and I could move in… And to my saying I wanted everything done before actually living there, he snapped “Oh, since you have the money”. WTF… I repeat… WTF? I hate that. I really hate that. If he were to make any contribution by all means he may speak… If he had been a co-signer, or the one giving anything for the house he could have every right in the world to make his opinion stand loud and clear… But flailing a machete while complaining about everything really pissed me off. NOT YOUR HOUSE, NOT YOUR DEBT, NOT YOUR CONCERN. Well, I’m NOT sorry I have TASTE and VISION. I inherited THAT from my auntie. And to my uncle’s dismay, I got my ILL TEMPER from HIM. So he better shove up his ass his opinions if they do nothing to help me in any way. The contractor has not been perfect but has been a sport with me, and allowed me to pay him in installments. I know that kindness in business is payed for. A shame an ex-businessman like my uncle cannot see that… But then again, the one that really run his business was my aunt, not him… He got the glory while she was his slave. Cute thing.

Yes I am very ticked off. My uncle used to be very human and very kind… But his contact with the hyenna that he married and his 7 brothers who are simply animals have made him… cold hearted… shallow… That is not the man I remember. I rather keep my good memories than deal with such a creep. I know life hardens people, but damnit… He is my father. I am no stranger. And somehow he made me wish I were… That was the not-so-kodak moment of Saturday evening. Hurray-hurray.

Well.. my life goes back to me again as I woke up this morning. It’s a good feeling facing life stress-free, and having achieved the solutions to the problems that I considered important. So what if I over-react, or if I am a sentimental fool? That’s what friends are for. And I may not have tons of friends, but I always stand for my close friends: The family I chose. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Been solving issues that appear, and just writing and feeding some talents that I neglect at times. Drawing sketches as I write, meaning that I am really getting into the characters… I still have it in me. Yay!

January passed by, quick, swift and leaving nothing of reckoning worth. Lovely. Seems this year will fly away fast. Hope so anyway… Want it to be Oct 2007. At least something interesting will happen by then, I hope… I know I won’t be able to travel this year, with all the expenses and so… but… Next year I will go see the friggin Horror Nights, even if it’s the last thing I do, damnit! And with any luck, will pass by NY and see the Lestat musical. Is that too much to ask for? Huh?

Working on one of my sites that needs a facelift. Love the outcome so far.

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