Hurricane Rita is already fucking up New Orleans and the coast of Texas. My father and his family had to leave to San Antonio so they are safe... Hopefully nothing bad or beyond repair will happen to their home... Those houses are made with materials that are not meant to stand a hurricane. And the houses with pretty lakes near them are death traps. Here in Puerto Rico hurricanes have been pretty harmful, and help arrives from the federal government but just the necessary amount... Americans have never known or understood the way to treat a hurricane... Here in the island we withstand them as a necessary evil. Hurricanes are part of our life, we live with them... Bt the climate is changing in the whole world and there is no way for being safe. Just last week there was a sea twister in my hometown... I have never seen something like that. We were lucky that it went away as fast as it came... Nature is taking back what men has taken from her. There is no other way of putting it. It is humans fault after all... The Ozone layer is worst each second, the icebergs are melting, flora and fauna are destroyed by the minute and no one cares... Hurricanes are the beginning of the tangible manifestation of Nature's wrath... And we are responsible for it, because we take Nature for granted and we hurt her constantly... Hurricanes and twisters are but a taste... California should beware, the predictions for a catastrophic earthquake are too obvious.

Anyway... FEMA from the states take puertorrican FEMA agents whenever there is a hurricane emergency because our people KNOW how to prepare and battle the effects of such a monster. It's interesting that this is not highlighted too much... The land of the free still enslaves by racism and ignorance... Well... Time shows them lessons that creates some deep impacts on them. In a way, this is important so they become more aware of the important things in life. The material world is lended. But spirituality is the only true thing we can hold within our grasp. Hopefully this lesson shines through all the despair and pain and death.

10-4

Friday 23:
Grito de Lares
and
Bought my house...

Yay! Im a HOMEOWNER!!! Thanks for all the good vibes, people! :D

The Brothers Grimm: Nice take on storytelling. Loved the twisted version of Snow White, the evil queen looked awesome. Who's the fairest of them all? Awww, the halfling has grown up… In this new character he is the oppossite of Sam, he is cocky and selfish. Anyway, loved the wolf-wolfwere transformation. And loved the huntress, little miss Snow White… cursed one… LOL If you can see it, go. If not, wait for it on dvd.

The newsflash: I'll FINALLY do the house closing on Friday! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Everything else is the same… I'm sad, still… but moving. I should do the big moving out of the apartment either Sunday or definitively next week… Have until Friday the 30th… Kitties are behaving weird… It's like they know change is coming… Big change…

10-4

It is a little bit funny, this feeling inside… I feel sadness and happiness converging into a mixed feeling brew that looks sassy and delicious. I just wrote a long babble about it, but Fate had its first wicked thrust and it was erased… So… I talked about my feelings, a lot about them… I talked about Death. But it was not a bad talk, Death is a cool gal.

“And if I die today I’ll be a happy phantom, and I’ll go chasing the nuns out in the yard…”

LOL Nah, really, I wouldn’t chase nuns… Maybe friends and foes, but leave the nuns to their prayers, ok? Whatever… Mixed feelings… Like a bowl of mixed tropical fruits, yummy… I guess… If I die today it wouldn’t be so bad. If I die today I would be ok with it. I have the memories of tasting the best things in life, Love, Friends, Money, and even 5 seconds of Fame. No complaints. I have been a creative entity, and all my life that fact has been reinforced. Work, play, studies, dreams, hopes, reality, EVERYTHING has evolved around my creative pulsings, and so everything has been good even in its own odd way. I rise in my cloud above the utilitarian day by day of the little people, with hard work I have earned my instruction and my job status, and my hearth shaped golden values that go on against the storms of today’s ignorance and lack of ethics, morals and love.

I have a good life. I am surrounded by love even if it is not the love I want… but it is love and its value shall not me underestimated… I have friends that would take a bullet for me, I have the unconditional love of my 8 feline companions, I have the never-ending love of my aunt, I have tasted True Love and its ramifications, I know that although I may seem to walk alone I'm never alone. I have the mind, the heart, the creativity, the spontaneity, the will, the courage, and the warmth… I have enough material things to live, and to share. I have enough belief and faith to know that my purpose is big and that I may not be aware of what it is but I may be doing just what was fated in a way… I am my own, have not sold my soul or my beliefs to anyone, have not bent my knee for false beliefs or false prophets. I have been patient, and kind, and tough and swift. I have been a warrior at times, pleading mercy for some, bringing justice to others. I am not afraid, never have been and won’t start now… Truth, honor, faith, loyalty, courage… they have all been my shields in battle and so I have not been defeated. In this world of loss and ill thoughts and ill actions and rotten souls, I have survived. I am still innocent in my ways, I still keep hope and belief… I still dream…

So if I die today, I’ll be a happy phantom… Because I lead a good life, with good feelings and good actions… And I would feel compelled to stay and reckon my memory to those who loved me… and to torment with my visage those who wished me ill…

Whooohooo… The time is getting closer…
Whooohooo… The time to be a ghost…

Well, besides all this ghostly crap… The weekend left me strengthless and drained. Worked too much painting and the like… Today I arrived late at work because the blackouts left my clock out of focus… And I owe my life to a hungry kitty… LOL Not that anyone really noticed… Sometimes it is like I’m a ghost already…

Feeling moody. Sad about Groundel. Sad about kitties missing him. Sad about being lonely. Sad about the whole situation. Sad about leaving my Fortress of Solitude. Sad about shitty thoughts. Contempt with the best I could do. Contempt with the house thinguie… Mad it is not over yet… Contempt with friends and family… Contempt about Love, sad about Love, mad about Love… Sad I couldn’t go to SJ to celebrate Coriolis bday, sad I still have much to do and so little time to do it… Sad that help is not coming my way as I want it… Contempt that I breathe thanks to Flonase, that I walk even in sleep, that I can work even if I hate what I do, that I have so much that others lack… Contempt that I know I am blessed with many things, most of them intangible and invisible. Happy that my life is good, have always been throughout storms and shadows… Happy I have not surrendered, I am still my self, my own… Happy I’m still a dream to some, but a nightmare to others!

10-4

Mounted AC on aunties small room, painted half the room... Small room looking good. Kitties and mistress shall be very pleased. Today... hopefully nice social butterfly day, for some kicks.
10-4

You are Mary Bell. At the ripe old age of 10 you
strangled a neighbor boy, afterwhich you carved
your initals into his skin. At his funreal you
laughed. Your next victim was a 3 year old. You
pushed him off the roof, resulting in a broken
skull. After he was found you went to his
mothers house and asked to see him, she replied
tha t he was dead. You smiled brightly and said
'Oh, I know he's dead. I wanted to see him in
his coffin."
You horrid little girl you.
-smacks your hand-


Which Imfamous criminal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Your fated to have a Dark love.
Probably a lover of things gothic, your
artistic and original. Although you're a loner
and independent to a fault, all you will need
is him, and he will feel the same...

Please rate aaaaand... eat chocolate bars?
*cough*rate*cough* ^^

What Love are you Fated for? ~AWESOME anime pics!~
brought to you by Quizilla


You're Albert Einstein! You are incredibly smart,
although, you know that you do make mistakes
like everyone else. You are kind, but you spend
most of your time studying or doing
experiments.


Which famous (or infamous) person are you a reincarnation of?
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Goth


What Will Your Wedding Dress Look Like (Now With Pics)
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You chose brown eyes.
Brown eyed people are normally very romantic. You
love to daydream, and sometimes you get
confused with your own fantasies over reality.
You are pretty outgoing, but some days, all you
want to be, is alone, reading, or thinking by
yourself. You have many talants, and you will
probably have a very important job when you're
older.


The Eye color personality test
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You will be an author or poet.
You spend most of your time thinking up characters
and situations that sometimes you get caught up
in them. Come back to the real world once in a
while to jot your ideas down.
We have the next JKRowling!
Please rate and message


What is your calling in life? With manga pictures!!!
brought to you by Quizilla


People see intelligence in your eyes. You probably
enjoy reading a good book and are pretty good
at outsmarting people. You like finding the
meaning behind things and you know how to hold
an intellectual conversation. The downside of
this is that people can mistake you for a nerd
or people who aren't as smart as you will get
angry and try to bring you down. Don't let
them, though! You should prize your
intelligence and not worry about what those
people think. Btw...can you help me with my
homework?


What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!))
brought to you by Quizilla

Your theme song is Boulavard of Broken Dreams by
Green Day. Maybe you feel you're alone in the
world or just want to be alone. Whatever it is,
it seems your best friend is your shadow.
Whether that's from past experiances or the
fear of future ones, the world may never know.


src="http://www.boomspeed.com/starlight/brokendreams.mid"
loop=100>

src="http://www.boomspeed.com/starlight/mbanner.gif">


What's Your Theme Song?
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Artemis(Diana): goddess of the hunt and virginity.
She was sometimes thought to be the goddess of
the moon. she was born on an island because
Hera, Zeus' wife, was angry because Leto's
children were Zues's. Artemis was born then she
helped her mother deliver Apollo, her twin,
making her also goddess of childbirth. Go you!
Your a strong, independent person with a love
for parties and haing fun. You never let others
push you around and you don't change for
anyone. Please Rate and Message!


Which Goddess Are You?(Girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla


MEDIEVAL ENGLAND
Famous Ruler: King Edward III
Living Quarters: Castles
Hardship: The Black Plague
Who wouldn't want to live in the "fairy
tale-like" days of knights and castles?


What Time Period Do You Belong In? (Updated!)
brought to you by Quizilla

There was no water for quite some hours, so I had no work after 10am. Picked up the A/Cs for my aunties place, delivered dirty laundry, delivered Groundels stuff at his moms, broke a window, visited Home Depot and moved some stuff around... Tried getting a friggin driller to finish up the ACs job but... no driller at aunties and no driller at my mothers... so I guess I will get a driller tomorrow... Im tired of begin for it...

CORIOLIS B-DAY! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Best wishes to a special elvenfolk. :D

I'm very tired... Doind too much within little time... Oh, well... Cannot just rest, I guess I'll sleep when I die. LOL I must keep on going now that I have the fuel, sort of... or at least the motivation or desire...

Finally got the papers for the post-grad test. Will send it JIT to take it in October. I'll try to begin classes in Jan. Finger crossed... Won't run but wont stop... if I dont stop I'll get there.

Friends... Whoever is your friends likes you for who you are not what you've got, needs no explanations just your presence, and trusts you even if you seem misguided.
The code of Thundera must live on in their hearts... Truth, Honor, Loyalty and Justice. Inconditionality 24/7, love always and patience by the gallon... My friends know who they are, what to expect from me, why I exist. They know I mean my deals forever, I keep my word. I belong to another time and place...

Kitties are restless... Will make them behave somehow. :O

10-4

Wednesday. Still sick, but working. Yesterday the day went fast, amen… Rented Sin City and Cursed.

Sin City: Loved the story about the dead hooker. Hated the nudity but I guess it comes with the style of the story… Loved the black and white and special colors… Tarantino’s mark? Nah! LOL

Cursed: Ms.Ricci looks good, and that’s about it. Another stupid mediocre storyline about werewolves that gives nothing new to that ground… At least Underworld shed some good story hints, but this… Aw! Headache!

Today got some serious cleaning up to do, if I gather the strength during the day… Tomorrow I’ll have to go to a meeting at SJ, so it’s gonna be another looong day… Wanted to take Friday free, but thanks to my cold that may not be… depends on my traveling arrival… No further news.

10-4

Ladies and gentlemen… yes, I’m sick again. It is my natural estate by now, so big deal… I earned a sexy voice and an Olympic cathegory nose. So, I should be happy…

Yesterday had to leave work at midday. The coldness of this friggin office is deadly. I went with fever, and as I fall asleep, I had around 4 waking dreams… don’t ask me to recount because my memory has a short fuse… I just recall waking up around 4 to have lunch, sipped 5 times the lovely Lipton soup and left the rest of the plate untouched as I went back to my bed… It is a mix of sinus with physical tireness, I’m certain of it. Around 8 browsed the net for an hour, then back to bed. I didn’t get up in the whole night… I had to go get the 2 ACs for my aunt, which are paid, but couldn’t because of my sickness… Sucky day…

So, today I’m at my office. I’ll go ahead and make some tea to pass through the morning… Gotta pick up the AC’s at midday before the daily rain falls. May have to look for a soup at the pharmacy, as well as sore throat pills or liquid because I feel Hell’s opening gate is in my throat… I look like the demonic gypsy from Abyss… black gypsy flowing skirt, lace shirt, black bandana and round sunglasses… And my getting even more paler skin… Just as if I came out of a Vampire book… LOL… Whatever…

Well… Hopefully a coworker can solve Aguadilla’s problem via VNC, if not I’ll be forced to travel and burn the servers. Saw a lovely figurine that may predict an outcome… but still wondering about the blank tarot card… Hmm…

Groundel is supposed to go job hunting at a local hotel that will be giving interviews for Rooms to Go… if he gets a shirt to do that. That’s about it.

Lucinda wants a dog for Elmira… And so the story repeats itself… LS may have a good candidate… if she can tear it from her mom’s womb…LOL

Coriolis is making real his gay-ish dreams. He has become a complete Gardening and Housekeeping Smurf. Papa Smurf is sooo proud! Yea you bet, bitch! LOL

Joe is surviving hangovers and lack of sleep… Try denying it! LOL You are too old for those games, pal. Its time you realize… And its time you stop winding up the wrong way. The right way is doing whatever it takes for your woman… I’m sorry, but gigs, work and hangovers should be the least of your priorities. Its just a loving advise. LS deserves more than lame excuses. You should drag yourself to her feet even if you are bleeding to death and your back is ripped open and feeding worms and werewolves! Ok, acid trip of the day… But you get the point.

NoName had a baby (luckily) and is hopefully in the recovery room… LOL Nah, seriously, hope your tests run smoothly and you have nothing but an Alien in your spine. :P

Over…

10-4

Thanks to LS I looked for a letter that Anne Rice wrote about New Orleans tragedy. I had looked into her site and was dissapointed to find it with no updates and especially no comments about the event... Well, she wrote an article in NYTimes, and here it is... I should learn She never disappoints. :)


September 4, 2005
Do You Know What It Means to Lose New Orleans?
By ANNE RICE, La Jolla, Calif.

WHAT do people really know about New Orleans?

Do they take away with them an awareness that it has always been not only a great white metropolis but also a great black city, a city where African-Americans have come together again and again to form the strongest African-American culture in the land?

The first literary magazine ever published in Louisiana was the work of black men, French-speaking poets and writers who brought together their work in three issues of a little book called L'Album Littéraire. That was in the 1840's, and by that time the city had a prosperous class of free black artisans, sculptors, businessmen, property owners, skilled laborers in all fields. Thousands of slaves lived on their own in the city, too, making a living at various jobs, and sending home a few dollars to their owners in the country at the end of the month.

This is not to diminish the horror of the slave market in the middle of the famous St. Louis Hotel, or the injustice of the slave labor on plantations from one end of the state to the other. It is merely to say that it was never all "have or have not" in this strange and beautiful city.

Later in the 19th century, as the Irish immigrants poured in by the thousands, filling the holds of ships that had emptied their cargoes of cotton in Liverpool, and as the German and Italian immigrants soon followed, a vital and complex culture emerged. Huge churches went up to serve the great faith of the city's European-born Catholics; convents and schools and orphanages were built for the newly arrived and the struggling; the city expanded in all directions with new neighborhoods of large, graceful houses, or areas of more humble cottages, even the smallest of which, with their floor-length shutters and deep-pitched roofs, possessed an undeniable Caribbean charm.

Through this all, black culture never declined in Louisiana. In fact, New Orleans became home to blacks in a way, perhaps, that few other American cities have ever been. Dillard University and Xavier University became two of the most outstanding black colleges in America; and once the battles of desegregation had been won, black New Orleanians entered all levels of life, building a visible middle class that is absent in far too many Western and Northern American cities to this day.

The influence of blacks on the music of the city and the nation is too immense and too well known to be described. It was black musicians coming down to New Orleans for work who nicknamed the city "the Big Easy" because it was a place where they could always find a job. But it's not fair to the nature of New Orleans to think of jazz and the blues as the poor man's music, or the music of the oppressed.

Something else was going on in New Orleans. The living was good there. The clock ticked more slowly; people laughed more easily; people kissed; people loved; there was joy.

Which is why so many New Orleanians, black and white, never went north. They didn't want to leave a place where they felt at home in neighborhoods that dated back centuries; they didn't want to leave families whose rounds of weddings, births and funerals had become the fabric of their lives. They didn't want to leave a city where tolerance had always been able to outweigh prejudice, where patience had always been able to outweigh rage. They didn't want to leave a place that was theirs.

And so New Orleans prospered, slowly, unevenly, but surely - home to Protestants and Catholics, including the Irish parading through the old neighborhood on St. Patrick's Day as they hand out cabbages and potatoes and onions to the eager crowds; including the Italians, with their lavish St. Joseph's altars spread out with cakes and cookies in homes and restaurants and churches every March; including the uptown traditionalists who seek to preserve the peace and beauty of the Garden District; including the Germans with their clubs and traditions; including the black population playing an ever increasing role in the city's civic affairs.

Now nature has done what the Civil War couldn't do. Nature has done what the labor riots of the 1920's couldn't do. Nature had done what "modern life" with its relentless pursuit of efficiency couldn't do. It has done what racism couldn't do, and what segregation couldn't do either. Nature has laid the city waste - with a scope that brings to mind the end of Pompeii.

•

I share this history for a reason - and to answer questions that have arisen these last few days. Almost as soon as the cameras began panning over the rooftops, and the helicopters began chopping free those trapped in their attics, a chorus of voices rose. "Why didn't they leave?" people asked both on and off camera. "Why did they stay there when they knew a storm was coming?" One reporter even asked me, "Why do people live in such a place?"

Then as conditions became unbearable, the looters took to the streets. Windows were smashed, jewelry snatched, stores broken open, water and food and televisions carried out by fierce and uninhibited crowds.

Now the voices grew even louder. How could these thieves loot and pillage in a time of such crisis? How could people shoot one another? Because the faces of those drowning and the faces of those looting were largely black faces, race came into the picture. What kind of people are these, the people of New Orleans, who stay in a city about to be flooded, and then turn on one another?

Well, here's an answer. Thousands didn't leave New Orleans because they couldn't leave. They didn't have the money. They didn't have the vehicles. They didn't have any place to go. They are the poor, black and white, who dwell in any city in great numbers; and they did what they felt they could do - they huddled together in the strongest houses they could find. There was no way to up and leave and check into the nearest Ramada Inn.

What's more, thousands more who could have left stayed behind to help others. They went out in the helicopters and pulled the survivors off rooftops; they went through the flooded streets in their boats trying to gather those they could find. Meanwhile, city officials tried desperately to alleviate the worsening conditions in the Superdome, while makeshift shelters and hotels and hospitals struggled.

And where was everyone else during all this? Oh, help is coming, New Orleans was told. We are a rich country. Congress is acting. Someone will come to stop the looting and care for the refugees.

And it's true: eventually, help did come. But how many times did Gov. Kathleen Blanco have to say that the situation was desperate? How many times did Mayor Ray Nagin have to call for aid? Why did America ask a city cherished by millions and excoriated by some, but ignored by no one, to fight for its own life for so long? That's my question.

I know that New Orleans will win its fight in the end. I was born in the city and lived there for many years. It shaped who and what I am. Never have I experienced a place where people knew more about love, about family, about loyalty and about getting along than the people of New Orleans. It is perhaps their very gentleness that gives them their endurance.

They will rebuild as they have after storms of the past; and they will stay in New Orleans because it is where they have always lived, where their mothers and their fathers lived, where their churches were built by their ancestors, where their family graves carry names that go back 200 years. They will stay in New Orleans where they can enjoy a sweetness of family life that other communities lost long ago.

But to my country I want to say this: During this crisis you failed us. You looked down on us; you dismissed our victims; you dismissed us. You want our Jazz Fest, you want our Mardi Gras, you want our cooking and our music. Then when you saw us in real trouble, when you saw a tiny minority preying on the weak among us, you called us "Sin City," and turned your backs.

Well, we are a lot more than all that. And though we may seem the most exotic, the most atmospheric and, at times, the most downtrodden part of this land, we are still part of it. We are Americans. We are you.

Anne Rice

Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company

Well, I keep getting movies from my cancelled subscription to an online movie co. service, so here’s a moview review, sort of…

Neverwhere: From Neil Gaiman, his slightly old british Neverwhere may seem a bit corny at first, but considering how it got in the small screen and how the special effects , etc. made the budget, it is a cool flick. Always love Neil’s work on the darker side of the supernatural fantasy.

El Dia que me Amen: A funny mild romantic comedy where a guy has got a psycho behavior thinking he will die if he steps outside his house… When his old playmate from childhood comes back home, the truth is reveiled… He has been like that ever since she went away without notice, as his mother did when he was a child… The guy gets to a Venezolan Mepsi center where he meets a guy that is a hardcore Madonna fan, and where he gets the necessary support to face reality if only it means getting more insane. I liked this flick very very much. Reminded me of someone special.

Wuthering Heights: Wow. I think that sums it all… Wow! I absolutely loved this movie, no wonder it’s a classic… I didn’t expect a ghost right off the start, and the castle/house was gorgeous! The story was powerful and strong, and it grabbed my attention from start to finish. I’ll certainly look for the book, if the movie was that good, the original work should be breathless.

Finally, Friday… At work one of my dearest colleages is having a hard time with the harpies that surrounds her. And I am beyond tired, as usual… but basically because I couldn’t sleep well last night, perhaps thinking too much… Leo wanted to go to the Expo Novias tomorrow, and I’ll try to comply although I know it’s gonna make me feel weird… perhaps sad… Day-0 is almost there for me, I expect to make the whole move on Sunday, if the coallegues from work show up with a pick up and help... I have dual feelings about the whole thing… One side of me knows it is all for the better, that things are happening, that I will get my house and I need to make sacrifices to make it possible… The other side of me feels destroyed, because the idea of home vanishes with this, and more uncertainty steps on me.

I don’t know what to do, what to believe, what choice to make, if it’s the right thing to do… I don’t know what will my destiny be, who will be at my side in the end… if there will be anyone at all… I feel isolated, distanced from those I love most, and it’s a wall that has taken life of its own and gets further and further… I wish I knew my heart of hearts, I no longer have a clear view of what love is. I have forgotten what it feels like to be in love. I feel dry, no wonder, no zest, no desire to do anything special, no desire to dream silly dreams… I feel that nothing fills me or makes me happy, that I have no one to truly share all I am and that makes me feel barren, melancholic, bitter… I hope that the task ahead shakes me up and clears my mind of doubts and shadows… And if love exists, let it be then… and if its only a deceitful illusion, may it fade away forever.

10-4

Well, yesterday I was feeling sick and lousy. At midday had to go pay the rent and give some copies to house owner, but as I reached Hormigueros se rajó la madre de los aguaceros… Damn, I felt like a pocket hurricane was dropped over me! So, I had no umbrella, and I was coughing badly enough… and I decided to go back to the shadows were I belonged… I arrived at work just as the rain was starting to fall. So, wet and hungry, went to my office and pulled out a soup and heated it and enjoyed it… Half an hour later I was running to the bathroom, as I felt the urge to say hello to the soup and friends… I vomited my soul out! After that awful session had enough strength to get to my office and fall unconscious for half an hour or so… Phone calls woke me up, more like made me stop floating around since I was not really asleep… Whatever.

Arrived at home and fall in my bed right away. Woke up by 6:30 or something, and went to take the copies to the lady, since I was “in route” went to get the litter much needed to change the kitties bath. Back home, no messages, bided for flea collars on Ebay, and to bed once more since it all stinks!

Coriolis birthday is next week. Let’s see if we can plan a big b-day bash in the Zoo and then in the Caverns and then in Arecibo or Rincón or Guánica… The 16-18 weekend will be called as Metallica’s song “Wherever I may roam”… LOL If no hurricane arrives here, DAMNIT!

I am planning the big furniture move for this weekend. Living room-bedroom and e/c should be gently dropped at Auntie’s. Let’s see how THAT turns out… I need a pick-up truck and men. Preference… big black bald weightlifters on leather gistros willing to dance the Macarena. LOL

10-4

I feel today as if I had lost everything worth living for. I am beyond sad, I am beyond tired, I feel that once again wishes and goodwill betrayed me… I would like things to be different, but sadly they can’t be. I must be alone, for a time. It’s not about feeling lonely, which I do anyway, but I need isolation. I am in deep need of deep thinking and re-evaluating my goals if there are any left… I am in deep need of healing myself from the world, getting rid of all the dark stuff that tries to get the best of me day by day… I need a break from time and place and space… I need to run away and grasp the simple life, enjoy a sunset once more, spot a butterfly and run after it… I need rejuvenation of spirit and thought. I need a reawakening of all my senses, a re-affirmation of all I am worth.

Last night I had a dream that made me so sad… About white roses and a lake. It is ironic, but the more things change the more they stay the same… in a way. I’ll always love my Knight of the White Rose. Not even in dreams he stays…

Anyway… At work. I feel dizzy, the big headache is driving me crazy, pills doesn’t work and people are driving me insane with their plea for internet… I wanna go home… Sadly, there is no home for me to go to.

10-4

Ok... Seems I'm getting into the "dont have time even to blog" mode that most of those I know have followed for the last couple of months... At least my mode has been for a few days, so no harm done. What have I been up to?

I'm sick. Yup, again. But this time I got sick because I kinda got carried away with the cleaning/moving thing. You'll see what I mean...

Been using my whole brain at work, so getting out completely drained... Well, thats a change. At least I am not getting too bored, I'm actually doing something, you know, workin'for a living... That's great. But since I've been so drained, I get home straight to bed...

Well, on Friday had to take two hours during the morning so I could reach my lawyer and get an affidavit for the home seller swearing that I will pay the bit that I will owe her after the closing date. Yay for that, first mission accomplished. Moved on to next target, deal with the devil... Renewed and got a bit for straightening out all other messy accounts plus getting half the bit for the home seller... Yay for second mission accomplished. Got to my office just in time for a quick dinner and back to work. Called Retiro and the home owner have not sent the cancellation from her bank, so the closing date is stuck until she does that. On my side, everything is done and at least the papers are moving in SJ so the approval is a step further advanced... My stress levels are just in the yellow line. During the night I got 10 green 19gallon bins and 5 green 10gallon bins to start my next mission: Preparing my stuff for the move... Began at 9pm, stayed up until around 2am.

Saturday... Woke up early in the morning. And the mission continued. Filled up the green bins, packed them in my Rav4 and delivered them at my aunt's place 3 times before 1pm. On the 4th voyage packed old bins that I had. So... To my aunts house one last time. I arranged all bins in the "bird's room". Surprisingly they didnt take too much space as I expected... At least I know that my furniture will be ok in there when I move it next week... Back to the present, after the green bin stacking, went to my small room (I have 2 rooms in my aunts house, the small doll's room and the Egyptian room). Didnt know where to start... but grabbed a green box and began stacking Barbie dolls on it. Then Jem & Holograms & Misfits... Then Rainbow Brite & Gang... Baby cry for you, BabyBallerina... RetroDoll... Poochie, and some old plush dolls. After THAT, placed all SheRa dolls inside the Crystal Castle, and closed it so the castle stays neatly creeping on the wall's bookshelf. Then, placed all the Strawberry Shortcake dolls inside the Big Strawberry Shortcake Mansion, including the snail picnic cart and the round ride... LOL Turned around the mansion and it is all neatly packed... The whole point is: I need to make this room Kitty Proof, since this will be the room where my kitties will dwell until I make further decisions, like moving to the house that I'm gonna get... So... After that, decided to paint the old wall behind the bookshelf... and then decided to paint the bookshelf bone white as the wall... then somehow ended up painting the ceiling as well, since it had naughty black patches (ermmm... seems that will be my hobby after I move in, the whole house needs a ceiling painting facewash...). After that, started putting some of the bookshelf stuff back (the things that go in high places), but had to stop. The whole room is crowded and I need to clear it... That will be a big project in itself... Anyway... I think I did more than I expected on one day. So, went back home by 8pm.

After a shower and a nice dinner, my feet were definitively aching BUT I was not sleepy... I guess its the stress or adrenaline pump or whatever... So, had the brilliant idea of begin washing the cats. They still had fleas, and I wont risk bringing fleas to my alma mater dwelling... Soooo... It was 9pm when I began the quest to clean my kitties and battle the screaming fleas again. This time I used Sargeants shampoo first, let it stay for 5 minutes, take it off and then use Hartz shampoo as second bath, let it stay another 5 min and then wash the kitty for a last time... Two baths... A funny, not so funny, amusing, ironic, deadly task. Hmmm... I guess it could have been worst. Began with the heavy-weights: Roxy, Crow and Isis. Roxy wouldnt stop moving, Crow woudlnt stop moaning, and Isis wouldnt stop screaming... Placed Roxy and Isis together in a taxi, and Crow all by himself. Then, the turn for bathing the chiquitos came up... Cyric was a bliss. He seemed clueless to what was going on, and just moved to wherever I placed him. His brother Kyonne was a different story. Kyonne behaved as the kitty that runs from PepeLePuh. LOL But I got both chiquitos bathed and flea-ridden... and in the same taxi they falled asleep. After the 5 kitties I had no strenght left in me... Although I still had 3 more kitties to bath, I just couldnt do anything else... I was beat! Went to sleep at 2am.

Sunday morning... At 9am woke up and had breakfast. Five wet kitties were still jailed, but I couldnt let them wander off without making sure the area was clear... So... Next mission, clean the house so fleas are exterminated for sure. E/C, living room, kitchen and bed was all browsed, inspected, moved, brushed, mopped, sprayed with anti-flea serum and prepped for the 5 mayor havok-makers. One by one I took the bathed kitties, applied the anti-flea liquid behing their heads (it should last a month, we'll see how that works), and so they roamed the house once more. As the taxies were left emptied, the three kitties that had missed bath last night were placed inside: Set was very upset, Kali was enraged and possessed, and Michita was like whatever... Began the bathing session with Kali. I was afraid she would bite me/scratch me again, but things ran smoothly. Michita was blissful, since she has been through hell she has the "I dont care I have been through everything this is nothing" cool attitude... Set was angry, and would attempt to break of my hold using complicated spins combined with diverse back-kick tactics... I was too aware of his tricks, expecting an attact at all times, and so he was subdued and bathed... LOL Left the three amigos caged each one on different taxies. Placed newspaper on the taxies floor so the wetness would be dismissed... Setito wet me with his paw, hilariously vengeful as always... I finally took a long bath, washed my hair and had all the intention to keep up with cleaning my small room at auntie's place... Right... Took off from the apartment by 7pm. Arrived over there, ate something and realized I had a slight coughing that was annoying, and that every muscle and bone in my body ached. So... Decided to leave the room for Monday since it was Labor day and I would be free of work... Right... Went home, took allergy/sinus pills, coughing serum and to sleep... after releasing the prisoners of Askaban and applying the back-neck antiflea serum... Sleep I said? Uh-uh... No way. The coughing became violent and wouldnt let me sleep. I battled it for a long while until I finally surrendered to exaustion.

Monday, Labor day... How fitting... I opened my eyes briefly around 9 but had to go back to sleep because I simply could not will my body to get up. Around midday I was on my feet... Feeling miserable with sinus pressure, runny nose, itchy eyes and hellishly itchy throat... Went in my car, and I recalled I needed to change its oil and filter, so ended up in Pep Boys. That was a good move... The car had almost no oil. It was on the edge of breking up. So... The car was filled up and after taking its vitamins it agreed to run wherever I pleased. So... Went to Hormigueros to try and pay the rent... Awful weather, hellish rain... And the rent could not be paid because the people were not in their office... So... Went to deliver dirty clothing to my mothers dwelling. Granny was there, rain began again and had to make a small camping over there... It was then that I realized how bad I was feeling, I could barely move and felt like walking in clouds... So... Gathered clean bedding & clothing and went to my aunt's for dinner. Arrived there, my mother was there with a friend of hers, and I went straight to bed. Almost fall asleep. Auntie cooked, and so I ate and then went away because I knew that if I stayed I wouldnt be alive for long. Arrived home straight to bed. Slept until 10pm... Woke up coughing, itching... and the sleep wore off... Took meds and nothing. Drank a Sleepytime tea and nothing... So, I am here... Its 1am... And Im trying to get sleepy... Coughing, feeling like crap, have work tomorrow (today), and could not clear my small room as I wanted to because I had no strenght left in me... Ah! Whatever...

I just sighted, so it may mean that I am tired and ready for a nap. I hope so... Well, special thanks to Groundel who was kind enough to help me with moving and cleaning... Seems he may catch something as well, he was sneezing and his eyes were watery... I appreciate your help, always.

LightShadow and Joe were missed. Thanks for the messages, Joe, as you can see I have been quite busy! :) Hope to get in touch with you soon, guys!

Coriolis and NoName, and Gruendel: Ok... Here's an idea... You all have blogs... How about writing something on them, even if its just babling or poetry or quotes? Just anything to signal that you guys are alive. Hey, I check your blogs everyday. I always have time for you. ;) So Blog! Damnit!

Lucinda has been taking flea-control measures of her own... Good luck, you'll need it! LOL

Havent been able to check Trillian or be online to talk with Taz or Zordak. I miss you guys!

Havent heard from Trilogy. He probably had too much work with this long-weekend thing...

Well... Thats the news for my lovely weekend... It went fast, it was too busy for my own health, and it is only the beginning... Shesh! Well... I hope I can update auntie's place while I'm there, the house needs serious work. And I hope that by EOM I get my dwelling so work on it can begin... I am really excited about that. The house has so much potential for being the haunted castle that I have always dreamed of! We'll see... Please send good vibes.

10-4

Sat: Worked during the day... Trabaja esclava!

Sun: Making preparations for move

Mon: SJ interview and Retiro. Plus tortura china during the trip. Internal joke, I guess…

Tue: Crim at Mayaguez, new contract at owner’s home, doctor and failed attempt to find my lawyer…

Wed: At San German, cabling and system is up and running. I’m damn hungry and shuld call Retiro in the afternoon to see if everything is allright. I just need the owner to fax a document to Retiro so we get the date for closing. Yay!

So, yes, I’ve been beyond busy and running everywhere. No time for chilling, the weekends are going too fast and I know its only the beginning… Next weekend I will start moving to my aunt’s place. Don’t know if I will be able to move the big stuff, I’ll leave that to the “if” of getting a truck, and manly men to move the stuff. We’ll see.

Sorry, not in jodeina mode. Running, making things happen, and crossing my fingers… wishing things will turn out for the best. I’ll stay around 4-5 months at my aunts until everything is done in my house. Then the kitties will be free, as well as me. :D

Gotta go. Lunch. Will keep the news band on… Sad about New Orleans and its tragedy… Life goes on…

10-4

And this is how I feel...

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

-Abba, I have a dream

Y por una extraña razón, esta canción es recurrente como un canto de alegoría personal...

Una noche de resaca
al tratar de despertar
noté que por el ombligo me
empezaba a desinflar
que mi cuerpo se arrugaba
como un papel vegetal
e iba pasando, que curioso, al estado gaseoso

Y tras la metamorfosis
me sentí mucho mejor
era un aire gris oscuro y con bastante polución
se notaba en cualquier caso
que era aire de ciudad
que si bien no es el más sano,
lo prefiero al ser humano

Aire, soñé por un momento que era aire,
oxígeno, nitrógeno y argón,
sin forma definida, ni color
fuí aire, volador.

Como yo soy muy consciente
hasta en esta situación,
decidí ser consecuente
con mi nueva dimensión
y probé a ser respirado,
por la que duerme a mi lado,
sin entrar en pormenores, yo sé hacer cosas mejores

Como no me satisfizo
la experiencia sexual,
se me inflaron los vapores,
me convertí en huracán...
dí unas tres o cuatro vueltas
y a la quinta me cansé
este cuarto es muy pequeño
para las cosas que sueño

Aire, soñé por un momento que era aire,
oxígeno, nitrógeno y argón,
sin forma definida, ni color
fuí aire, volador.

Y lo siento por mi novia
y el cristal que me cargué
me escapé por la ventana
y en picado me lancé
pero tuve mala suerte
y cuando iba a remontar
me volví otra vez humano
no falteís al funeral

Aire, soñé por un momento que era aire,
oxígeno, nitrógeno y argón,
sin forma definida, ni color
fuí aire, volador.
que era aire...

-Mecano, Aire

Por alguna razón esta canción me recuerda a Lightshadow y Joe... LOL So, guys, here's your theme song:

7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas.
7 Horas, corriendo por la ciudad
7 Horas, mis piernas no dan a más
7 Horas, empiezo hasta del revés
7 Horas, te voy a volver a ver.

Y no sabes cuanto tiempo, espero este momento
Pensando suave y lento en cada movimiento
Se me mezcla la nostalgia con la sangre que baja
Y sube toda junta para inundar mis ganas.

No consigó actuar, me bloquéo al pensar
Donde yo me aprisiono, ya no puedo más
Se acaba la reserva, me quedo sin paciencia
Cada minuto se hace un mundo y todavía quedan…

7 Horas, corriendo por la ciudad
7 Horas, mis piernas no dan a más
7 Horas, empiezo hasta del revés
7 Horas, te voy a volver a ver.

Y miro 15 veces el billete de autobús
Y me aseguro de que mis piernas tengan depilado de luz
Me levanto, me siento, me concreto, me disperso
Miro al reloj cada minuto, ¡Estoy atacá!

Axo que hartita estoy de currar
Como no me apriete el tiempo no voy a llegar
Rebusco en la maleta braguitas y camisetas
Con aretes y cacaos y en un ratito te estoy dando bocaos.

7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas

7 Horas, corriendo por la ciudad
7 Horas, mis piernas no dan a más
7 Horas, ya empiezo hasta del revés
7 Horas, te voy a volver a ver.

7 Horas, corriendo por la ciudad
7 Horas, mis piernas no dan a más
7 Horas, ya empiezo hasta del revés
7 Horas, te voy a volver a ver.

7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas
Solo me faltan pa verte
7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas
Solo me faltan pa´ cogerte
7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas
Solo me faltan pa verte
7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas
Solo me faltan pa´ cogerte
7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas
Solo me faltan pa verte
7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas
Solo me faltan pa´ cogerte
7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas
Solo me faltan pa verte
7 Horas, 7 horas, 7 horas, 7 horas

-Bebe, 7 horas (duh)

Last night: Sleep by 6pm. Woke up at 6am. That tired.
10-4

Last night a movie arrived, Beautiful Creatures… Gayish action director by Peter Jackson… It was ok. Based on a true story. Went to sleep early because had to take the USPS examination test today’s morning. So I did. I just arrived… Got a BIG headache that leads to a night of complete darkness because I just know I’ll have migraine by 6pm… Anyway… Another interview on the midst… on Monday. Wish me success… as I do have everything else I need. ;)

10-4

Weekends... they come and go, and its almost as if they didn't exist… On Saturday went on a quest for a purse, mine broke on me... Almost futile, but at the last minute discovered a mundane place with cheap prices. Auntie, and then more cleaning… On Sunday was some extra cleaning for the kitties sake. Went to aunties, then to leave a paper at Lucinda's cursed with plagues place… And then left Groundel so I picked up Tril to go to the movies. At home early to check mail and go to sleep… I'm even more tired than on Friday… Geesh… I feel that little by little something is sucking up my life… Whatever…

Sky High: It was ok. Loved the flame-guy… Another looks can be deceiving cliché… Loved seeing Linda Carter, and her crack about her not being "Wonder Woman". ;) Everything else pretty much predictable…

10-4

Your Daddy Is Darth Vader

What You Call Him: Pops Why You Love Him: He knows best

Who's Your Daddy?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Ditzy Executor of Sacrifices. Where You Lived: Australia. How You Died: Decapitation.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Your Birthdate: April 8

Born on the 8th day of the month, you have a special gift for business, as you can conceive and plan on a grand scale. You have good executive skills and you're a good judge of values. You should try to own your own business, because you have such a strong desire to be in control. You are generally reliable when it comes to handling money; you can be trusted in this regard. Idealistic by nature, you are never too busy to spend some time on worthwhile causes, especially if managerial support are needed. There is much potential for material success associated with this number.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

VIERNA
V	is for	Vibrant
I	is for	Irresistible
E	is for	Earnest
R	is for	Radiant
N	is for	Naive
A	is for	Alluring

What Does Your Name Mean?

You Know You're Puerto Rican When....

You have been spanked with a folded leather belt and/or "chancletas" ...leather ones! You know your mom is sneaking up on you cause you can hear her "chancletas" flapping on the linoleum floor. Your mom yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you only live in a one bedroom apartment. You've ever called linoleum floor a "rug" You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the "chuletas." You say "Vamoj pa' encima" or "mete mano" instead of "Let's get started." You got scared whenever someone mentioned "el CUUUCO"!!! You remember every Christmas those "aguinaldos" that abuela used to sing for you. You've gone to titi's house and passed through the "bead curtain" in the living room. You know someone who owns a conga, bongos and/or a cowbell. You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on the tv and under the tv. You have a porcelain cat/dog/rooster or frog on a doilie in your living room. You have a perpetually semi-drunk uncle. Someone in your family is named Maria, Charlie, Papo, Ana or Carmen. You call rug-carpeta , roof-rufo, parking-palkin, stress-estress, library-libreria (instead of biblioteca), boiler-boila, sucker-soca, or to knock-noquiar. You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold. You need a cup of coffee after every meal, expresso boricua style "con leche". Your sister has hair on her legs and as much moustache as your father. One of your aunt's weighs over 300 pounds. You have one or more cousins in and out of jail. Your uncle has more gold in his mouth and/or neck than you've ever seen. You have sat in a two-passenger car with over 5 people in it. You put a big Puerto Rican flag on your car... an a PR bumper sticker. You have a picture of "Cristo" or a crucifix in your house. You actually think some names begin with "Ave Maria pur?ma, Papo." You walk around saying "chacho" or "chacha" or "ay,bendito". You have said, "no, hombe" instead of "no, hombre" to both sexes. You do that funny pointing thing with your nose and if the person doesn't understand you, you use the lips for emphasis. You can speak with your face: twitch like a rabbit to ask "what do you want? or nod your head upwards to mean "wassup?" You have driven a "cheby" (Chevy) or a "forito" (Ford)! You call all sneakers "loj tennis" and the Converse are "loj champion". All cereal is called "con-flei" All brands of diapers are called "pampel". You have ever ground pl?nos and/or fingers for pasteles during Christmas time. Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend. You remember when Heineken replaced Shaeffer and Schlitz. Your dinner consists of a "mixta"...rice and beans and some kind of meat. Your uncle has a wife and a "corteja" or "chilla". You've put a penny on your forehead to stop a nose bleed. Your mother has put a balled up piece of thread on your baby cousin's forehead to stop her hiccups. You have at least thirty cousins. You know how to drive "estandard" or "estick" shift. You can tell the difference between Cafe Rico and anything else. A coqui's sound has driven you crazy. Your grandmother thinks Vick's vapor-rub is the miracle cure for everything. You're proud to be Puerto Rican - and you pass these jokes on to all your Puerto Rican friends!

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You Know You're Addicted to Photoshop When...

You see the world with one eye and stock images with the other. When asked what the primary colors are, answer "RGB" You get the urge to 'fix' poor quality images. You start teaching your significant other to use this "evil" program and in the space of one afternoon convince them it's at least only quasi-evil in the face of PSP. You ramble about a breakthrough in the piece you're doing to people who have no idea in hell what you're talking about You ponder the meaning of existence without layers. You never leave the house without a digicam and notepad. You drop something and your brain tells you automatically "Ctrl-Z! Ctrl-Z!". When you realize it won't work, your brain tells you "Ctrl-Alt-Z! Ctrl-Alt-Z!" You're getting dressed for something important and you look in the mirror and realize you would look so much better if you could just tweak the levels a little and apply a slight gaussian blur. You stop on the street to rant about cheesey effects that should not be on professional posters. You scream out fonts as they appear on TV. You have dreams in "glowing edges" You're standing by the ocean and wondering who used Ocean Ripple. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Photoshop.

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Your Stripper Name is: Butterfly

Get your own Stripper Name

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts.

Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your IQ Is 95

Your Logical Intelligence is Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Your Rising Sign is Aries

You're full of energy - and people look to you to get the party started. Confident and honest, you'll be the one to say what everyone is thinking. You are easily bored, and you always find unique ways to do things. You don't just dream it, you do it. And that's why you're so successful. Too intense for some, often times people are intimidated by you. But you're usually smart enough to charm them anyway!

What is Your Rising Sign?

Star Wars Horoscope for Aries

Like many aries, you have demonstrated your penchant for inflicting pain. You feel you are at the center of the universe and that you must be in control. You enjoy being a leader... and you find that your aggression and quick temper serve you well. Star wars character you are most like: The Emperor

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

Purple hair. Now I am super-uvita... I'll share a pic when I get it on my Kymill Fotolog, ok? Anyway... I like it for a while... not forever... In November I'll go back to my Bloody Mary/Lyoness obsession with red hair. Call this a break... nI needed some physical change on me... That's all. ;)

So far Inositol has been great. No more Paxil for me. Yay! One less chemical in my life. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Oh, and I have a whole bunch of clean clothing. Another wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

10-7

Yup, even a 10-7 instead of the traditional 10-4. ;)

Tuesday:
Had to go to RUM to install a PC. Actually, it was an ok job, the difficult task was putting it on network… raining as hell… and the people acting as leeches makes everything simple so complicated!

Went to BigK to get more things for the flea killing spree. LightShadow was there, and so two worlds collide. LOL She sticked around with Groundel and me until she had to go stab something and eat it. I got the flea thinguies and headed back home… Definitely beaten, to bed without further words.

Wednesday:
As usual, chicken talk and babbling after the Rum thing… So, had a meeting with the high gods and made them aware of the situation for future reference. Spent the day organizing all files in my office, amen to that… Solved problems via virtual helper on the network.

People are finally finding me, talking to me, yadda yadda. Cool. Its not easy stopping Lola from running but if you are persistent, you can do it! ;) Marie had an emergency issue, hope that it got solved. :) Lucinda has been quite busy and quite stranded… that one needs a car, so it anyone is gonna dispose of one send it in! Coriolis has a sinus flu thinguie that is killing him. Groundel has been cooking and housekeeping.

I arrived at home pretty drained. Fight,… Hope that this time the points were clearly made and I have no further need to repeat myself. I was too drained physically and emotionally to keep myself from surrendering to Morpheus…

Thursday:
So today I’m the snappy dresser+7 with magical bonuses. The secret: Got no clothing but the ones I use for special occasions because I have not been able to do my laundry… So there. It’s not that I want to be dressed as an office Barbie… I just have nothing else to put on my self. ;P Besides that issue, I am trying to understand some things that my boss wants me to do but have not given instructions to do… (Sight) Its not easy being red…

Hungry… Still sleepy… And trying to make people happy… which is labor. It all sucks. I WANT MY MTV!!!! (the good old years…). Got a notification that Vivienda returned the case denying the Llave loan because it was 2 houses… they didn’t even bother to read the whole case. That was the good news of the day, I am soooo ecstatic… Trying a last resorce to get that house, but if that doesn’t work is bye-bye… I have done all my homework and it sucks… Badly… Back to the house hunting drawing board.

Feeling: Well… Been 3 days with no Paxil, so I am not doing so bad taking that into account. I am a bit sad, completely angry, completely frustrated, disappointed, helpless and on the edge of just leaving everything at it is and running away… away from all… away from this bullshit place, from bullshit people… from all! I hate having to be stuck with all this: job, place, setting, drama, family, friends… Everything bothers me. Everything is getting to me. Everything is a constant crappy chaos that persists in making me miserable. One thing is fixed, the other gets fucked up. Its tiresome. This ambience is killing me. The raise on prices is fucking up my finances even further. Everything seems to conspire against every plan I have… I heard that before, and it is true… there is a big conspiracy against my plans, no matter what they are... No matter which steps I take to do things safely, or the right way, or the long way, or the short way… I just cannot get what I want because someone hates me so much that has done something to put a cloud over me at all times… That is my big conclusion, because by now there is no other thing I can think of, to give me a why or reasons for all that is happening…

I may like a gothic lifestyle, but DAMNIT! Enough is enough!

10-4

This has been quite a weekend… The usual black cloud keeps creeping over me and I am so, so tired of it, DAMNIT! On Friday wanted to clean up a lot so I could go to SJ Sat and Sun… but noooo… Clorox overdose made me sleep until late afternoon on Sat, and rain was quite heavy. Since I knew my car’s tires would not take it, I just stayed in a self-camping at home, meditating and finding out what the hell was wrong with the place giving me hives… Oh, I found out. I’ve been sleeping with thousands of eggs in the last couple of weeks… Yes, the inconceivable happened… My cats had fleas and all their eggs were mostly in my bed, sooooo… there’s the reason for my so called allergy. Ewwww!

Needless to say I went bananas. I am paranoid about cleaning and I have no idea how they got them… Well… There was a cricket invasion and the kitties had been hunting them so perhaps that’s where the intruders came in… So… Saturday night I spent cleaning the bed and everything around the place, disinfecting with Clorox (yup, more Clorox). On Sun went to the mall, got anti-flea shampoo and anti-flea spray and spent the whole afternoon bathing each kitty… one by one… That was labor… I mean LABOR. Kali went upset and bite my thumb, so now my left hand is almost useless because of the swelling thumb… But no more damages… Put all kitties in "confination" for 2 hours until the house was cleaned with Clorox once more. Last night no flea bit me. Yay! I won the battle! Hopefully I will win the complete war…

But the story doesn’t end there. I went at night to my auntie's to eat. As I went home I got a flat tire. My spare was also flat, so had no spare to spare… and had to go home driving at 10mph… I arrived to cry. I just cannot have peace not even in one day… Soooo… Called work at 8 am, told them I would be arriving late because of the flat tire. Took the tire out, and it was completely ravaged. Rolled the tire with Gruendel’s aid until we reached the tire place… Then I had to walk back to go get money at an ATM because they don’t accept ATH… Ughhh! Then walk all the way back from the bank to the tire place… And roll the new tire back home. Labor… More LABOR. When the tire was in place, went back to the tire place so I could get another new tire, put the 2 new tires in front, put the ones in front on the back, and put the tire left as spare. Complimentary filling the empty tires… 35lbs, as a mental note… Ok… So I forcefully got the front tires, and left Groundel at home, then off to work… And now I’m back, from outer space… That was the exercise of the month. Honest. My arms feel buffed. And my legs are definitively there.

Ok, so again, I’m officially broke… I need to contact the realtor and ask for my money back so I can pay the rent and buy some groceries because I am empty. I hope that she has no more buts about it, I’m tired of that too. She didn’t call the whole past week to see the phantom house inside, and I am plain tired of the whole issue with her. I will stick with Retiro and if Vivienda grants what it should then I should make an offer to the owner. If she accepts cool, if not whatever. It has been draining, everything. I just want to get out of this friggin place if only for a week… Coriolis, don’t fail me. Please?

So, Gruendel is back home. He’s gotta find a job. And he’s gotta straighten up his college issues… My car is off-limits for him, he still has no license. I don’t know just how much his overall attitude has changed, hopefully it HAS changed and he’ll start behaving as a man, not a child. The clock is ticking. And I am not into standing bullshit. Let’s see what happens now. May the cloud vanish and the light shine forever…

10-4

if this world is wearing thin
and you're thinking of escape
i'll go anywhere with you
just wrap me up in chains
but if you try to go out alone
don't think i'll understand

stay with me, stay with me

in the silence of your room
in the darkness of your dreams
you must only think of me
there can be no in-betweens
when your pride is on the floor
i'll make you beg for more

stay with me, stay with me

you'd better hope and pray
that you make it safe
back to your own world

you'd better hope and pray
that you wake one day
in your own world

'cuz when you sleep at night
they don't hear your cries
in your own world

only time will tell
if you can break the spell
back in your own world

stay with me,stay with me
stay with me,stay with me...

-Shakespeare's Sister, Stay

All the birds have been blue
They don't know what to do
Ever since you said goodbye to me...
And the flowers in their gloom, have just refused to bloom
Cause we all want you back, you see...

All the birds have been blue
They don't know what to do
Ever since you said goodbye to me
And the flowers in their gloom, have just refused to bloom
Cause we all want you back, you see,
And even mister moon
Is left without a tune
And his shadow has lost the harmony...
So don't waste any time
Come back and change your mind
And everything will work out
Naturally!

You know that love is a struggle
And only the strong survive
So it's up to me and you
To do what we've got to do
To keep our love alive

And the bees have been gone
And they know that something's wrong
Because they don't feel like buzzing at all.
And the starts up in the sky, all they do it cry
And that's why the rain must fall!
And the early morning sun
He knows that you're the one
And we both miss your company...
So don't waste any time
Come back and change your mind
Everything will work out
Naturally!

You know, Love, love is a struggle
And only the strong survive
So it's up to me and you
To do what we've got to do
To keep our love alive...

So don't waste any time
Come back and change your mind
We'll be singing harmonies
With the birds and bees
If only you'll be mine
Things will work out find
Hmmmmm... Naturally!

-Huey Lewis & the News, Naturally

Went to Aguadilla on Friday. Worked as a bee the whole day, didn't even check my email! Damn! On my way back, stopped at Pitusa and got some cleaning stock for the next mission... Upon arrival at home, started cleaning the living room, ending with the bathroom where I almost intoxicated myself with Clorox... I kinda forgot to leave the door open... Shit happens... Well... On cleaning mode until 1am. Went to sleep by then, woke up at 2:30pm... So... My plans for traveling North were evaporated. Sorry, people... wasn't my fault...

Gruendel appeared after 6pm. He was helping Michael paint the improved house. Ok... They had a cabrita incident of their own... A long talk with Gruendel... Food... And that was the excitement of the day. Just cancelled the Blockbuster Online account and sent some payments for delayed bills. Still half are outstanding... But soon it will all be over... Fingers crossed!

Tril called, busy the last 2 days, too busy to even say hi... More points on his behalf? Hmmm... Marie called... Mark called... Coriolis called... Lucinda called... Ok... Everyone called! Ermm... no, not everyone... My auntie and Anthony and Father and Kara didnt call... Blah! ;) Anti-social me is feeling quite blue. Sorry people, but I am not in "answering calls" mode. I am in "soul searching" mode, and that requires solitude and enlightment. I kinda hope that Clorox helps that issue...

No movies, no rentals, no theater, no visits, no nothing... Just being here... or staring at the sun... dancing for rain until the river floods again...

10-4

No word from Gruendel. He had a letter for todays gathering at 2pm, for the post office job… but no word from him so I guess he’ll miss it… How nice, he really needs the job… Whatever…

Tril gave me a gift yesterday. It has symbolism… And he got gifts for the kitties… Now that was plain weird and unexpected. Then he invited me for dinner… And then we argued as always… He wants to be steady with me and had already figured out his life with me. Hmmm… Ok, just how about asking me first before making such life plans? He asks me why I wont give him a chance, why I mistreat him and talk to him almost with hate… Drugs and his bubble wont let him see things, I guess… I ran out of chances. It’s been 15 years of them.

May check out some places of interest if Coriolis provides shelter, if weather conditions agree and no cosmic debris falls in my way.. I need a break from Mayaguez and all its bullshit. I need to breathe even if it is the impure air of the Metro area. I need good company and some laughs. I need to remember how to smile.

I feel tired and grouchy. My oh-so-great period arrived today, lucky me… timing stinks as usual… And I feel nauseus and dizzy and with a friggin pain… Solved some computer problems, will go tomorrow to Aguadilla to solve issues over there… And trying to get some feedback about the house thinguie… Seems it all will be over by Sept 30th… Hmmm… Gee, I’m planning a voyage and that could be the date of closing… How strange… DejaVu.

Hope Marie gets a job soon. And hope Maria’s kitties get stronger. :D

10-4

At San Juan… We got out of Mayaguez at 5:45am. Seems I’ll have to be here all day because the people I came with have a seriously long reunion. So… I’ve been looking for jobs for Gruendel on the net. Besides that, no other news… I’m broke and I need food ASAP… This sucks. At least I should get paid on Friday. I’m friggin hungry… Grrr…

Rainy day... Will be a looong day... Oh, well...
10-4

Friday night. To auntie's for food, hunger... yummy... Not much to do, no cash to do anything, so it we watched Vampyr and the Mascot since they arrived by mail... (I'm trying out Blockbuster by mail, so far it sucks, takes too long to arrive...). Invited Marie over but she had some trouble with her roomies so she couldn't make it.

Vampyr had the shadow play that gave Coppola the ideas for the live shadows in Bram Stoker's Dracula. Interesting idea of suicides becoming vampires because they are banned from heaven and cursed... Taking into account the year the movie was made, it was state of the art. Black & white with plenty of shadow's play and drama injected by the use of written words and explanations in the screen. A bit slow for my taste, almost fall asleep. Then the Mascot... It was a cute little flick that I really liked. The idea of the tears of the mom giving the rad doggy a heart was very sweet. And again, I imagine all the work to make the dolls and marionettes move... That must have been labor back then!

Saturday. A bit of housekeeping, then to my aunt’s to gather goodies. She gave me cash for gas, so tried to venture and see Lucinda but there was nobody home. So, came back to my lair… Improvised movie night watching Return of the King extended edition with Groundel… LOL That was quite enough. Watching the ranger and the ghosts fighting, and the fair lady saving the day in her own way was refreshing, as always... Yup, LOTR is the kind of story that always brings you a smile of hope to your face, no matter what... Anyway, in the net for a while, and to bed.

Sunday. Gruendel passed by early in the morning with breakfast, and ready for the task ahead: Mayor papers/mags/books cleaning & arranging… Took all the plastic boxes that I have and emptied them… Then gathered everything in them in an orderly fashion. Two boxes remained empty, so I could also do some closet cleaning and gather the wedding things that remained scattered… And also made scrapbooking space in the cabinet I use for this purpose… it had too much trash inside, so to the garbage with unused yucky stuff. Yay! More space… the final frontier! Ended up quite tired. Visited my auntie’s for goodies, again, and then left Groundel in the park. Went home and watched Snow White and the 7 dwarves, and Finding Nemo. Marie called and we talked for a small while. Then, to bed.

Monday. Will finish doing a computer that needed to be formatted… May go home for lunch. There is an administrative reunion at 1pm, so there goes the afternoon. At least I am very positive that the day will be gone very, very soon.

10-4

I’m on the quest of gathering all the paperwork needed to aplly for 3 different positions at my current employer… they all have nothing to do with computers and require an MBA, Fingers crossed, please lit some candles for me because I really want a career change… I need an injection of something new and useful to do… I am too friggin bored at my current job. Last night prepared the bundle for todays copying and stuff. My aunt lent me some cash for getting the gov certifications I needed. I am beyond broke… but hopefully with a smile. We’ll see…

Groundel passed by a bit late, was with Michael doing some curtain shopping… Ok, yes, there is something wrong in that picture… whatever. Printed out some journaling for the scrapbook, and went to sleep later on.

I just got a message from Rafa, a friend from High School. He’s leaving Disney because he got a better job offer. Way to go! :D Hope it is for the better.

Haven’t heard from Lucinda… Well… Since I’ve been a bit scattered this week and a bit antisocial, that is not so surprising. Marie has left messages but I have arrived home too beat even to login… I hope that tonight I can catch some time in the net... Joe, I'm pretty tied up and have no money to spare, so that will have to wait until next month. I'm surviving on ChefBoyardee, and tuna. It ain't funny. And my car need new tires, which I cannot get yet... (sight) And I still owe 300 something to the AEE, so maybe soon I'll have to lit candles just to see the kitties faces...

Feeling:
Rebel. Antisocial. Angry. Like screaming. Like beating. Like destroying. But it’s ok, I am cute. :P I just have not felt like talking with anyone… Oddly enough, this week I wanted to be alone and actually do some stuff. I still have plenty of clothing to wash… Never ending story… And lots of cleaning up to do at the apartment. I also need to start throwing away things I don’t need, identify things I can sell on ebay and organize all. I think this is my last month in the apartment… I cannot keep on loosing so much money just for myself. If I am going to be alone, I’ll go back to my aunt’s house until I get my house. I don’t see Groundel coming back anytime soon, and the whole situation stinks. I cannot handle all by myself as things are right now. The idea of living elsewhere had to do with being with him. If he’s not around, and doesn’t want to be around, then what’s the point. I am not saying anything else about that matter to him. I’m tired of pleading. Either he moves in by the end of month, or I’m gone. Case closed.

10-4

Wednesday passed by and all I can say is “Sniff, sniff, another day missed”. The natural thinguie for depression makes me sleep soundly, so it has an unexpected side effect… I’ll keep watching for anything else… I keep on with the allergy thing as well, itches like hell. My ongoing opinion on LOTR: It is the… I repeat THE masterpiece of all times.

I found some items that might work for the journaling part of the scrapbook. I’ll try printing them out tonight, if I make it. :P Won’t be in my office, seems the drivers will FINALLY take me to Aguadilla and beyond to do all I have to do for the report I was supposed to hand in today… Grrr…

Groundel passing by, being nice even if he’s a bit psycho… Hope his bullshit stops somewhere soon before I decide to poison him. Trilogy has called and doesn’t seem to get that his chances passed and he missed them badly. Oh, well… Hasn’t logged in in 3 nights in a row… That’s a record for the last 2 months… I’ve felt too sad and too sleepy or with too much headache to try that at night. I hope noone takes it personal. ;)

Seems Coriolis is interested in the Gore Getaway for October. Ok, idiot proof… Gore Getaway for those who doesn’t know it is the Universal Horror Nights in October. So… If anyone else is interested, let me know. I hope I can make the arrangements to go, its long past do… :P

That’s it for now…

10-4

Yesterday afternoon as I went off work the sudden light triggered my oh so lovely migraine. As soon as I arrived home I had to get in complete darkness. I was so tired I fall asleep immediately. I woke up around midnight, tried to check mail and had to forget that idea. My eyes hurt as well… bright light still bothered me and my head felt as if it was being hammered. So, back to sleep… after releasing the prisoners of Askaban… I had forgotten that Cyric and Kyo were trapped in their taxi… LOL No wonder I had such a sound sleep… they are the ones that run around and make mayhem… I recall two phonecalls from Marie, but I don’t remember the time… I’ll get back to her today.

Well… Must visit UIA, Yauco and Rum. Hopefully that will be fast…

10-4

Well, you can say that this weekend was pretty damn clean… On Sat I spent the whole day cleaning up the litterboxes of the cats, and the whole apartment… so no more ammonia odor for at least 2 more weeks. While I was in housekeeping mode the kids next door started talking to me, I guess their parents were not around as they were home alone and trapped in that house… Things that makes one really mad… What if there is a fire? Who in complete mental capacity will leave 3 children locked up in a house, as if they were animals or pets? That is a consequence of children raising children…

Went to my aunt’s house. Turns out on Thursday morning, specifically 4am… she had a fall and stayed in the floor for almost half an hour with no one to help her. She makes me so angry… She fall outside, because she was taking the trash out… At 4 in the morning!!! WTF! And so, her left arm is bad again… (sight)…

Woke up early on Sun morning so I would clean up the car (Yes, people, you can have a heart attack now… I actually cleaned my car). LOL Detailing… It’s been more than 5 years that I didn’t clean the car inside… So it is spanking new now. :P Next thing is to change the 4 tires, there is one that is pretty damage and can fail anytime… but I have to wait until next payday… 4 tires, change of oil, and motor cleanup and check-up, and see if I can finally put a new cd player maybe with a cd changer. Ok, got all paydays until Xmas there… LOL

Mon morning… I didn’t want to wake up or come to work. I’m tired as hell. Also the allergy I have doesn’t help… I have hives in my whole torso, legs and arms… They look like bites, but there ain’t a thing to bite me, so I don’t get what is causing it. The annoying thing is the itching… If I had a fever I would say I have chickenpox, but no… it’s an allergy… I always react too much to the environment… Grrr…

Haven’t heard of Coriolis. Joe called saying he’ll come on Sat then called to postpone the trip. Back to his bipolar self. LOL NoName was complaining about my lack of communication… Marie’s b-day was yesterday, I think they were going to watch a movie during the night but I got bored at home and after half an hour logged to the Internet. Yes, I cannot help it, it’s an addiction! Plus I wanted to talk with Taz. That’s always fun. Oh, and he installed Yahoo... Welcome to the dark side... LOL :D

Groundel passed by on Sat and Sun, helped me with the litters and the car. He keeps on with his issues… plus now he has to hunt for a job. (sigh) Never-ending stoooooryyyyy… Whatever… I’m tired of pleading…

So… Today I have to complete (or try completing) a communications inventory… Waiting for the drivers so they take me to San German and Yauco. Hopefully the day will go fast…

Oh, I tried a prank on Isis this morning. Put a hair comb on her tail. She went nuts. I didn’t realize that the comb would actually press her tail too much and cause her pain. :( Yup, that’s the guilty trip of the day…

10-4

Hide & Seek: The girl from War of the Worlds is awesome in this movie! She needs not speak, her eyes says it all! And De Niro looks delicious. LOL Anyway, entertaining... Loved Charlie!

Premonition: Another japanese flick... Suspense... Some shots stay in your head (like a girl with blew-up face...) Really nice storyline, as usual. I'm becoming a deep fan of these films... Gotta build a nice film-library of them...

Ay payita mía
Guárdate la poesía
Guárdate la alegría pa'ti

No pido que todos los días sean de sol
No pido que todos los viernes sean de fiesta
Tampoco te pido que vuelvas rogando perdón
Si lloras con los ojos secos
Y hablando de ella

Ay amor me duele tanto
Me duele tanto

Que te fueras sin decir a donde

Ay amor,
fue una tortura
perderte

Refrão: Yo se que no he sido un santo
Pero lo puedo arreglar amor
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.
Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que tuyo es mi corazón
Mejor te guardas todo eso
A otro perro con ese hueso
Y nos decimos adiós

No puedo pedir que el invierno perdone a un rosal
No puedo pedir a los olmos que entreguen peras
No puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal
Y andar arrojando a los cerdos miles de perlas

Ay amor me duele tanto
Me duele tanto
Que no creas más en mis promesas
Ay amor

Es una tortura
Perderte!

Repete refrão :
Yo se que no he sido un santo
(Y es que no estoy hecho de cartón)

No te bajes, no te bajes
Oye negrita mira, no te rajes
De lunes a viernes tienes mi amor
Déjame el sábado a mi que es mejor
Oye mi negra no me castigues más
Porque allá afuera sin ti no tengo paz
Yo solo soy un hombre muy arrepentido
Soy como el ave que vuelve a su nido

Repete refrão:
Yo se que no he sido un santo
(Y es que no estoy hecho de cartón)

Ay ay ay,
Ay ay ay,
Ay, todo lo que he hecho por ti
Fue una tortura perderte
Me duele tanto que sea asi
Sigue llorando perdón
Yo... yo no voy
A llorar por ti...
A llorar por ti!

-Shakira, La Tortura

Went to HT last night, dining with Groundel and then we tried to watch a movie... tried because the frigging movie kept skipping... grrr... so we forgot about it and so he left.

Took Cyric to the vet this morning. He got his operation and his rabies/deworming shots. He's still with the tecato look, but he's doing better by the minute. :P

Oh, lovely news from out dear governor... He's gonna cut the hours of work for government employees to 4 days, with the 4 day pay only... so thats 80% less money than what we are making... WTF? Translation... Next week we'll witness havok in the island. No one likes his idea, but since he seems to enforce a dictatorship we are all screwed. So... from bad to worst... I am seriously thinking about leaving this place for good. I have worked hard all my life, and now the rise on electricity fees, taxes, water and if they cut gov jobs earnings... (sight)... Just when you think things will be better... shit happens... I don't know where my car will take me, but seems all arrows are signaling anywhere else but here...

Met Marie during lunch. The girl has been trough some shit, and I love her attitude. Ah, nothing like someone who describes herselfs as a bitch, and she certainly means it! LOL Yay! Bitches unite! :D

10-4

Well, nothing worth mentioning... No one passed by last night, I was bored and lonely... Went to sleep early... Kitties jumping as if they were part of a Cirque de Soleil act... Almost didn't wake up today... Still sleepy, at least its been 2 days in a row I'm "sleeping" at almost the same time... This seems to be a day that will be looooong because I am so friggin bored...

Need to change the front tires of the Rav4. And change oil. And clean it up.
Will take Cyric to the vet tomorrow as well. ;) Need to end the peeing everywhere cycle.
Saw a nice set at HT, so I guess I'll visit tonight...
Will get a nice set from Lippy on the net too...
Met a lady that seems sensible and kind.
Taz being himself.

10-4

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken
When your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

Now there's no point in placing the blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you
My heart will be broken

Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

If I could melt your heart

-Madonna, Frozen