I need more time than what I expected, because things are not working out well. Someone thinks that playing just for friendship is an easy game, and its not. Everything gets to me, everything hurts in every way. I gave it a try. From constant presence to this is almost unbearable. And to know everything was a lie is more than I can bear. My best friend, you cannot help me this time, because you are the source of my pain... and I cannot open my soul to you because you get enraged... You think I am attacking you, and I am not... How can we help each other this way? I wish feelings had a switch, so I could turn them off completely. But they are a big part of me. And right now, I am at a loss... I never expected such a lie from you... I build everything around that lie... Now, I have to internalize a truth that seems so alien, unreal... I don't know anything anymore. I don't know what can survive from this. I don't know how much time will be enough... I just don't know...

Phantom of the Opera: Powerful voyage that I loved dearly. Coriolis was right once more, a striking movie... The misic leaves you on the edge, and wanting more. Although it is sad... Why can't anyone fall in love with the scarred? Why it is such a tale in almost every movie? If I had a Phantom in my life, I wouldn't hesitate to be his. But I guess thats just me, the weird one.

10-4

Movie review for this weekend:

Dark Water: Sucky movie. A bit of suspense, not horror! Why they keep calling mild suspense horror! Damnit!

Inmortal:Egyptian mythos meets futuristic world... sort of... Bast plays monopoly and a horny god wants to leave a child before dying... Interesting, but the mix of live action and CGI doesnt work well.

Alone in the Dark: If I wanted to see an alien I would rent Alien. The creatures are not demons, just a bad rip-off of what an Alien is... Slow motion action movie, weak plot and bad acting... They could have done something better... Worst than QotD.

Infection: A japanese horror flick. In the tradition of how they portray the illnesses of society... A hospital from hell, in which ethics turned dirty ARE the real illness... Cool flick. Highly recommended.

Phantom of the Opera: Will see it tomorrow, but have to say this... I felt insulted when the guy at the video store told me "This is an opera". I said u-huh and he repeated the same sentence. I said I know and he said "Well, since you have 3 horror films... just letting you know"... Ok... So basically, based on our appearance I cannot like operas? Gimme a break!

Washed my hair. Caressed my kitties. Relax-release. I am not trying to be a drama queen here. I just pour my soul here whenever I am angry, sad, frustrated, pissed... even sometimes you can get some happy remarks if you browse carefully... But since my mood the last 2 weeks has been the pits, people... bear with me. I am not suicidal, I am not neglecting myself, I am taking care of my kitties, I'm working and I am continuing my projects. I am not stale or stuck in self pity. I just say what I feel because that is who I am, and in here I can write what my soul feels... and put the words that my mouth dare not say in the proper way... Here my thoughts take a concrete shape, and ideas that were blurred become real. This is my therapy. This is my psychiatrist. This is my psicosis.

I dont hate Groundel for being honest, or for leaving my roof, or for going on with his life without me. But I have a right for complaining about it, 7 years give me that right. And if I feel this is a wrong decision, I have to say it, I have to SCREAM it: THIS IS WRONG!!!! There... And no, I dont feel better because I just screamed it... it solves nothing... but at least I release that energy from myself when noone else can hear me... Because it seems no one can really understand why I am like this... Because it is so hard to believe that YES, I DO LOVE GROUNDEL! SO WHAT! I travelled to try patching things up, which didnt work... And I have put up with many things to try to make things work... But... It takes 2 to tango, and if he doesnt think we can make it THEN we cant make it. ANd GROUNDEL, THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE!!! But, ok... I can be my bipolar self, be proper and nice and polite... No one will ever love you as I do. But of course, you already know that... Anyway... I am your friend forever... Just understand that I dont see you making this decision out of your on will... Somehow others press you into this... And thats what I hate most.

On with the show. I will smile. I have nothing to regret. I have much to do. I wish for love... true love... someday knocks at my door. That matter is in Gods hands, as I will not look for it. I'm tired of looking. I will go on a long hibernation... so I try to heal... and hopefully I will wake up to the truest Spring of my life. I dont know where I am going from now on... But I am fightress and so... I stand to defy the storm. Let it come!

10-4

How I feel, as of today? Alone with myself, with my feelings, with the truth that I still dismiss as a nightmare… Playing charades ain’t easy, because I show what I feel regardless of circunstances. Blunt show off of the strings that are no more is insensible and thoughtless… I get hurt too often for my own taste, although I try to numb emotions and just go with the flow… It is hard… I’ve been asked to accept that what was was a big nothing and it feels unacceptable… irrational… wrong. All I can think of is Why and although my logic says forget and go on, my heart says it cannot be, that it is all lies that he believes himself, that he’s been turned against me by those who hate me. I find no more explanations within my self. I feel lost, and this sickening bleeding wont stop… In letting go, the thorns have taken more than just blood… they have ripped the skin, tearing it from muscles and bones… In letting go, I have killed my heart. I'm expected to smile in spite of tears, to play along as if nothing happenned, to stop feeling because it is as easy as triggering a trap... I'm expected to forget cofee in the morning, playing with the kitties, cuddling up to watch some anime or play the Sims, taking goth pics just because we felt like it, driving through the isle because we could... I'm expected to erase all these years of starting sentences that he ended, of starting thoughts that he predicted, of guiding plans that he executed... I'm expected to be there because I am as strong as a mountain, as maleable as water, as free as the wind... Underneath it all I am fire... and fire is voracious, constantly raging, constatly fueling its thoughts and dreams and desires... And when fire must be contained, it ain't easy... it usually ends up in a fatality... As right now. Some words hurt more than a thousand actions. Some thoughts will never be, as some dreams simply faded as nevermore... Growing old together... The safe haven we shared... The promises to be completed and sustained... The commitment that was broken... I am expected to swallow up everything as it never happenned, as we start from that lovely voyage in which friends decided to help each other... These 7 years never happenned... The tears I have shed never happenned... The love I gave without boundaries never happenned... The truth I gave without thinking twice, never happenned. This is how I feel... as the last years of my life have been mercilessly torn away from me, as they were dissipated without a second thought... I feel I was nothing. I feel I failed to see bare truth in my thirst for belief. I feel used and thrown away as an old toy that lost its luster... I feel abandoned to my fate, because of no other reason but selfishness, because it is very comfortable to run from problems instead of solving them. I feel I was not important enough, I was not woman enough,... I was not enough...

I am to shed tears that only my pillow can caress away. I am to hold on to my shadow and comfort myself with my endless love for me. I am to find strenght from my convictions and dreams and actions... But how... I feel so weak... I feel so battered... I am to cry at night until I have no more tears left, to scream silently until the sound deafens my senses, to bury myself in the world so my corpse can feed the worms and be no more... I want to be no more... My last dissapointment.

Do not even dare to ask how I feel, because I will hit you... I will hit you with all the strenght I have left... And I will draw your blood and feast on it. So in your final seconds, it is me who you see, it is me who you feel... It is me whom you belong. Forever.

10-4

Been trying to solve issues at work and about the house. Why is it that whenever things are lay out simple and clear something ALWAYS happens to make things for me utterly difficult? I mean, in my life, EVERYTHING has been a struggle for me. Nothing has ever come easily or as a reward for my efforts… I know that perhaps it is too much to ask, but why cant things go smoothly just for once? Am I asking for too much? Yup, misery loves company.

I’m slowly falling in place with the current situation. Make lemonade with the lemons. I’m still a bit shaken and shedding hair… but I know I can survive anything. I feel nothing anymore. Seems that what I thought was real was a mirage. Nevermind the drama. Another disappointment for the record. I gave a deadline for things… it’s still on. I know it myself, and that’s enough. I suspect that there’s more to just thinking things on the other side. My trust is lagging again, and the toll of so many days is starting to dig a grave. I thought that at least for one person I meant the world… I was dead wrong. Still waiting, for answers, for a renewal of hope… But each passing day those probabilities get thinner… For whom the bell tolls?

Need a decent sleep… but I guess I can only get THAT when I die. Keep waking up every hour. That sucks. You wake up in the morning even more tire than if you slept 4 consecutive hours… Another weekend approaches… Hurray, hurray… At least the kitties will be happy with the company.

I'm horrifyed about the London bombing. Last year it was Madrid... And there's a menace for Denmark and Italy. Sometimes it seems safer to live in a small spot in the Caribbean... Why so much hate? Why so much destruction? Isn't it enough with the natural horrors like the Tsunami to take so many innocent lives? How can killing be justified as an order from God? It makes me wonder if they REALLY read the Bible, because in any continent... any race, any belief, anyone with common sense even an atheist can tell that if you read the Bible it talks about a God that is just, a God that is LOVE. No nation is better than the other. We are all One. Earth is so small when compared with so many planets, with the Universe! People, don't you know by now? LOVE is the way! Love is the ONLY way!

10-4

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion -
Is nothing new
Flashback - warm nights -
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories,
Time after -

Sometimes you picture me -
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said -
Then you say - go slow -
I fall behind -
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows - you're wondering
If I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time -

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time

You said go slow -
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds -

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
Time after...

-Cindy Lauper, "Time after time"
Dedidacted to Groundel The Ugly, with love.

It is a conspiracy so I don’t sleep. I finally closed my eyes around 2am, and after getting some z’s for a while I felt something in my face. In my dream state I pushed it away, my unconscious self always assuming a cat is around… But I also felt small tiny legs. I woke up suddenly, thinking it was a spider. As I turned on the light, I spotted the intruder. No, not a spider… A big roach. The mother of roaches! I was so disgusted, and mad! My minions spotted the intruder at once, and set themselves on destroying mode. Agent Michita was the first one to persue and strike, hitting the target on the spot. Agent Cyric and Kyonne followed, torturing the victim, dismembering it, until it was no more! Ok, yes, so I enjoyed how my kitties saved me from the big bad roach… So what! Hmph! Well, needless to say… no more sleep… (shrug)

Called Groundel yesterday. He’s alive. Still with ghosts in his head, but alive. Haven’t heard from Coriolis, hope he wasn’t abducted in Ponce… Lucinda mentioned she would appear at home but lost the way… And auntie is still the best cook I know. :D

I’m beyond zombifyed by now… Slept a little, around 2-3 hours each day… It’s an improvement, sort of… Still, I’m VERY tired. Need to catch z’s… but the world doesn’t want me to… Only the good die young…

10-4

Monday. It's been 7 days and 8 hours, but who's counting. Finally took the advice and stopped calling/trying to see me... If he's gonna take such vacations from me it should be all the way not halfway. Anyway... I honestly hope this will be over soon. It is killing me slowly. I absolutely hate not having him around. I miss him dearly.

On Friday LS woke me up to go see War of the Worlds. The movie is viasually stunning, keeps you in the edge of the seat with a feeling of hopelessness... It is ok, but it should not have been called WotW because you just dont get to see the war actually happenning. Tom Cruise's acting is lame ( I persnally think that the only character in which he deserves praise is Lestat). The girl steals the show. And the movie has absolutely nothing to do with the novel. Besides the facts, it's good way to kill time. Much better than Queen of the Damned.

On Sat had the brilliant idea to get some scrapbooking pages... As I did, I left my car's keys inside the car. So... It was an odyssey to get the keys out. 3.5 hours later I got a hold on Lucinda, who drove me to my auntie's to get my spare key. Ok... That was as much excitement as I could handle at the moment... Went to see el calvo so he would get a look at the chandellier and tell me if it is ok. When I arrived home I realized I left my purse at el calvo's home... Ugh! Will try to get it back today.

Sunday I slept a bit during the day (all these days I've been sleeping just 1-2 hours and it's starting to tax me). Went to get some food at auntie's and then headed back home. Didn't felt like handling people, and still feeling nauseous. Scrapbooked until the wee hours of the morning since I had insomnia, again.

Today... I'm supposed to go help the owner of the house paint some unpainted evil spots, so it doesn't look so bad when taking pics of the place. It should be on the morning (yup, that explains why I am here at this time). I should be back home in the afternoon... don't feel like going anywhere, will go to the house painting bash because it's a duty...

Feeling: Sick, nauseous, weak, tired, sleepy. Got a headache, my eyes bother me, and cant eat/drink anything. Emotinally I'm still feeling awful... hurt, isolated, with no understanding of reasons or why... anxious, stressed...

I have many things to do. The problem is I dont feel the will to do anything. Why wont you stop this torment? Ahhh! Whatever.

Nevermore.

10-4

Friday. Beginning of July. Feeling completely mad. Days are passing way too fast for my own taste, my lack of sleep is leaving me with too many mind blanks, and circunstances are disturbing and sucky. I am drained, tired, jaded, fed up, hopeless, zombifyed... I wish he would stop the nonsense and would just go back and face things as he should, not just running away. The easy way out is never the right way out... He is letting days pass in a way that will hurt us forever. And I am suppossed to keep belief in friendship and hope and the like... I've got no illusions left within me. And hope can only be kept with faith and belief... A no-win situation, perhaps... I wish things would not have gone this far, especially thanks to a random event that had no deep meaning. Stubburnness, false freedom, lack of insight... it will only lead us to our doom. But he doesn't see that. He doesn't even think that. Death is inminent.

If I had wings I would go to the lands where Earthmother would nurture me and grant me the warmth of her open arms... If I could breathe fire I would burn all enemies once and for all. If I had the power to wish, I would wish for love. But fantasy and reality are such different things!

Hollow... Empty... A void of dreams and will and thoughts and shades... How I miss the bliss of your presence... the certainty... the strenght... Running in circles is the worst fate that any being can have... And so a pathway towards eternity is spoiled...

10-4

In my office, finally, after the long forced “vacation”… Not much has happened in here. I got to take away all the boxes and equipment since all this dust affects me. Besides that, nothing else of importance.

Got to find 3 quotes for remodeling the house, hopefully by tomorrow. Will help paint what is not right in the weekend. Hopefully, the matter will be done by July.

Groundel will not come back for a long time. It is very unlikely that he will return. His feelings and his thoughts are not with me. He thinks we are too different, and he thinks we have no common ground. Time is the only one that knows what will happen… I guess this is as good as it gets…

Tril called yesterday but I said nothing about everything that is going on. He doesn’t deserve to know. Let him rot in his lies and thoughts.

I feel tired, sad, betrayed, weak… I came to work but can’t move too much because I get dizzy and I’ve had almost no sleep. The sleeping pills didn’t work, I woke up each hour… The lack of sleep is taking a toll on me. And so I’m tired and it shows. Mentally I am destroyed… But I know the show must go on. So… I carry on… I will get the house. I will try to get a part time for the weekends. I will take care of my kitties… And I will take a big break from everyone. I haven’t been alone in say… 15 years… It feels strange. It feels even surreal.

Anyway… Been scrapbooking. The masochist in me wants to finish the first scrapping project that I begun… So that’s how I’ve been killing time. While I’m at it I’ve laughed and I’ve cried… And I see that even if things were bad there were many good things worth the time… worth the effort… Nothing is ever perfect, but we did have a home. Sadly, it’s only my opinion.

Games... I dont know if we will play again. I dont know if the guys will show up or stick around, they were just starting to know us. I dont know if we can cope with a few hours playing without thinking of reality... It is too soon to tell...

Whatever.

10-4

Groundel took his things and went away last night. Its been 2 nights without him at my side, the first 2 nights after 7 years... I waited yesterday for his return until 7am. By then I realized he would not come back. Last night he passed by to get some stuff. He says he needs a break from everything to clear things in his head, between us, in his life... No words I could say were enough. No tears I could spill were enough. In less than 24 hours my heart was killed twice. This seems more than I can bear...

I feel dead. There are no other words to describe it... Dead. Lonely and alone. Buried within 4 walls that act as my tomb. A beautiful mausoleum I built slowly... How fitting...

Thanks to LightShadow and Joe for being there.
Thanks to Coriolis for listening and calling me a bitch.

I am a song waiting to happen... Even in death, I still wait...

Weak. Trying to heal... Trying to make sense... Trying to put the jigsaw together... Blinding rage... Trilogy did his last big deed today. And Gruendel is nowhere to be found. Alone. As I was in the beginning. As my destiny demands.
10-4

The past week has been as if I passed the gates of hell and was locked and chained to a rock... I have only been this sick two other times... the time when I was in a hospital for a whole week and was on the edge of dying... The time when I was alone in Carolina and I spent a whole week without getting off the bed and without been able to communicate with anyone because I had no phone, no doctor, no friends... This time it has lasted three weeks. I've had medicines, I've had a phone... And just when I needed those I love the most around me, just when I am here, so near... Nothing. That week alone in Carolina didn't hurt my spirit as much as these 14 days in my so called hometown.

Nothing much to do besides beeing feverish and watch old reruns on DvD. I went back for a whole week to 20 years ago. I remembered the thrill of watching that show, one hour each week... How I managed to get off my room unnoticed, and get to the living room, and turn on the tv so low that the voices were just whispers... 2am on a school night, ah... and that was perhaps the most wicked thing I did back in my childhood... Sneaking out to my living room just to watch a show that molded my dreams, my writings, my image of how my true mate would be... Beauty & the Beast. A simple, not so simple story... A reminder of what love is, of how it should be grasped and never let go of... A reminder of how strongly you shoud fight for it when you find it, a reminder that love goes beyond life, beyond time, beyond death. I embraced each word as I did back then when I knew nothing of love and I could only dream... How different all the words sound when you know you have tasted them in truth... And yet... Deep inside... It remains the same, the young child who knew nothing of love and who still years for her faceless knight in shining armor... for the one that would fight for her and be hers forever even against any odds... My dream... And thus, my inspiration... And so, I long for a white rose that will never caress my face again... And I bleed red roses as I am reminded of everything in between the lines... I'm dying. My heart is dying. And although my body seems to finally accept healing, my spirit keeps dying... And I am left with no words to explain... And I am left with no music within my soul... And I am left without a candle to guide my darkness...

May I rest in peace.

I was in Emergency yesterday. After some tests turns out I have a Sinusitis virus. The doc gave me the prescription and I got the meds... Back at home, kept coughing like crazy and the runny nose and fever are driving me insane. Its been 3 days without sleeping thanks to the nonstop coughing... Nothing helps that. Last night tried to get through the night watching Beauty & the Beast (the old tv series)... That had almost no effect, the coughing kept going, I keep sweating like crazy, fever wont break and I want my MTV!!!! Ok, I'll try getting a hold of myself... Coriolis called but couldnt speak to him... I see no improvement in the healing department... El Mamut se Jodió... Today so far Ive not been able to lay down and sleep because of the coughing which is increasing... I need to have breakfast but thanks to the coughing I vomited the juice I drank so I aint so confident on eating... And I am suppossed to go work tomorrow... Right...

At work, finally. But that doesn't mean that I am well... I am "putrefacta"... Itchy eyes, runny nose, sore throat, headache, sneezing... Augh! Oh, and fever... last night it was all about fever... I don't get it. The virus just doesn't want to leave me... Groundel is still sick as well... Whatever it is, it came from Fl and it keeps on screwing our lives! I will go to emergency after I get off work today. Maybe they can find out what the heck is so wrong with us.

At work... The big boss is on vacation, the place is a bit empty, and plain stupidity broke two printers. Waiting for an answer on what to do...

I started a blog for Streeya since she's a herald and keeps on scribing in the adventure. It should give some credibility to that side of the character, plus it can serve as a chronology of what is going on in the adventure... of course, from Streeya's point of view. I listed here under AD&D characters on the right column.

I'm beyond hungry but can do nothing about that... Hopefully Lulu will share part of her meal with me, if she is as compassionate as usual. :P Lucinda's dog Cleo is on the edge, she's been sick for some days and will be taken to the vet this afternoon... Another pet disaster for Lucinda... I'm certain she must have eaten something poisoned meant for the cats... Her neighbors are such bastards... I wonder what would they do if their hildren were poisoned... Because animals are like children. Whoever do something bad to an animal, can do anything bad to a human.

Anyway, will drink a medicine and hope that I don't collapse into Ether.

10-4

Last night's game was good. I finally got to play within the others timeframe... Next meeting will be in Cabo Rojo, probably on Fri because I foresee this next week will be rough for Groundel and me. I start my work-comeback tomorrow and I woke up today as sick as the first day... Neverending story, it seems. I am drained and the sore throat is bad... I guess I am to embrace becoming a lich or something... Groundel's sickness has grown from bad to worst. Medicines are not working... I will get today the "mejunje" that I drink when everything else fails... If that doesn't work... Shoot me!

Happy Fathers Day!

Saturday. Damn hot day. I would be singing Good Morning Vietnam if I were over there... Gosh, yes, looks like summer! If nothing goes wrong, should visit my aunt during the afternoon and should play AD&D at night. Maybe tomorrow will visit El Calvo if I get money for the gas...

Meanwhile, here's a look at my favorite ride at Universal... Damn hot day as well...

I was not good company yesterday. I’m trying to mute frustration, anger and helplessness and it turns into unleashing me in a raw, insensitive self. I’m jaded, and have no patience for things that are not of my taste… My tolerance has been tried so many times that it is only a thin line now… I don’t mean to strike… it happens. I cannot shut up, I have a mind and a voice and I will be heard. I was transported by some simple words into the past, where no matter how right I was I was told to shut up as if my opinion didn’t count, and I hated it. It’s a shift that I cant help because its certain tones and certain words that makes me turn to that time, and blinds me. I have this ongoing thoughts that just because Im a woman I am not taken seriously. It may or may not be true, but the thoughts are there and its difficult to keep a neutral attitude with thoughts like that lurking in the mind. It’s no ones fault… It’s my past, my experience, and the voices.

So I act as I think and talk as I think and that can get messy… Lucinda calls it been passionate about my ideals… I guess she is either right or too polite… but then she is one of the few who dares oppose my point of view and yet keeps smiling when she sees me… I guess she understands my inner storms better than I know them myself… Guess she understands my imperfections and let go of them, trading them off with all the good things I am and I believe. LOL It takes twenty two years of knowing someone to accept that person as a whole with the good and the bad… Thanks Lucinda.

Getting paranoic doesn’t help either. This idea that something wicked is coming my way, from everyone around me, is not good… Feel jaded, people has failed me too often for me to keep belief anymore. What can I say… I may be good but I am no idiot, and some things I just let pass because I care… and my caring consumes me.

Whatever…

Friday… The week is over. The sickness wants to prevail, but is slowly receding. I am getting a bit better, a bit stronger… Lets hope I just survive myself.

10-4

Thursday. Singing the song, it should be s-o-u-p day... Actually, soup would be nice... I dont feel like eating much... Called work and everything is ok. I'll call retiro in the afternoon to follow up on the house thing. May do some scrapbooking... depends on weather. Gotta visit my aunt and get some of her magic soup...

I feel sad, deeply sad. On the edge of feeling kinda betrayed, but since it is something I cant ever be sure of, it stays on the edge... Things not going as I expected, how strange... As always I feel hurt... Gotta take more Paxil and forget about everything at all! I wish there could be a new beginning... But a new star? In my life? At this stage? That's a big laugh... Who would like to get involved with someone like me? Gotta be someone reallly suicidal...

Forget spells... Where are they now?

10-4

Its Wednesday... This week the doctors orders are stay away from your office, you had an upper respiratory infection that was more serious than you thought and stay at home resting and getting completely healed. So, no, I wont be going to work on Thu or Fri. I'll just rest and scrapbook a bit and enjoy whatever devilish plan the days offer.

Yesterday met two very interesting guys, whom we shall name Capeman and Demo. They will be playing AD&D with Groundel and me, hopefully for more than 2 months. I definitively was blown away by all the novels they have devoured, and all the information they keep in their minds, especially Demo. It is nice if someone knows Dungeons, but it is a very rare encounter finding a person who reads the novels and puts events based on the novels events. Thats way cool. I hope that there are no misunderstandings or issues... Capeman is goofy and very amicable, extroverted, gothic oriented with a hint of sk8 and surfer, and with lots of personality. Demo is very open, aproachable and has something interesting to say all the time, he knows his worlds, his rules, and roleplays just as even Coriolis would like. I really liked this guy's attitude, and since I relate on the basis of people fearing one just because of rumors I just can't see why would anyone be afraid of him. Well... It's me speaking... I'll never be normal... LOL Whatever.

They went home around 4 and Groundel helped making their characters, and even threw a bit of game. We even got pizza... Ah! The memories! And turns out that yes they know the people we have known all this time, including Tril. LOL Close encounters of the D&D kind, guess... They stayed playing until around 1am. I will play later on, as I was sick and under medication spells and dizziness. The whole idea is truly cool. Finally, the wait for adventure pays off... :D

Today went to see the doc, get more prescriptions and then went back home. I may play the Sims for a while, not feeling like scrapbooking... Actually I'm a bit sleepy and tired... Damned T-Virus! I'll just sign off and get some rest...

10-4

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect;
but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood.

So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

-Corinthians 1, 1-13

Monday. Still stranded at home. My right ear still out of service, my coughing deeply annoying me. But, alive… Seems it’s gonna keep on raining… Cannot stay awake long enough… And I am damn hungry. Tomorrow should be payday, so I can straighten bills and make everything fine. Joe left this morning, hopefully has already arrived safe and sound to whatever his destiny was.

Yesterday, the crew spent the whole afternoon watching movies:
National Treasure… I liked it. But then again, I was under medicines effect…
Shanghai Triad… Why,why,why? Long, so long! For that! Sniff, sniff… I almost fall asleep if not uncontious…
House of Daggers… Liked it very, very much. The bamboo sequences were really anime-like, and that was cool! The battles were beautifully choreographed.
Purple Butterfly… War-intrigue-Japanese invasion… Political, guerrilla… In the middle of the who’s who drama it was better than Shangai, but… Too long, that’s all… too damn long.

Thank God I was already in bed, because I was completely drowsy and in ether mode the whole evening. Nevertheless, thanks to Joe and LightShadow and Groundel the whole dy went away fast. They were thoughtful enough to get movies and watch them in my house instead of following the original plan of going to the movies. Not to mention that the night before, it was LightShadow & Joe who went to get my medicines and food. It’s the little things that counts. Thanks guys! You are really true friends!

Today, called work so they don’t think I abandoned them… and came here to feel a bit human while writing… Thanks to Sara for bringing the med recipe to my house, and thanks to Carlos for listening to my garbage and easing this sick days with some laughs.

Gotta go back to the shadows were I belong…

10-4

In my secret garden, I'm looking for the perfect flower
Waiting for my finest hour
In my secret garden, I still believe after all
I still believe and I fall
You plant the seed and I'll watch it grow
I wonder when I'll start to show
I wonder if I'll ever know
Where my place is
Where my face is
I know it's in here somewhere
I just wish I knew the color of my hair
I know the answer's hiding somewhere
In my secret garden, there's

[Chorus:]
A petal that isn't torn
A heart that will not harden
A place that I can be born
In my secret garden
A rose without a thorn
A lover without scorn

If I wait for the rain to kiss me and undress me
Will I look like a fool, wet and a mess
Will I still be thirsty
Will I pass the test
And if I look for the rainbow, will I see it
Or will it pass right by
'Cause I'm not supposed to see
'Cause the blind are never free
Even at my secret garden
There's a chance that I could harden
That's why I'll keep on looking, for

[Chorus:]
A petal that isn't torn
A heart that will not harden
A place that I can be born
In my secret garden
A rose without a thorn
A lover without scorn

I still believe, I still believe
'Cause after all is said and done
I'm still alive
And the boots have come and trampled on me
And I'm still alive
'Cause the sun has kissed me, and caressed me
And I'm strong, and there's a chance
That I will grow, this I know
So I'm still looking for

[Chorus:]
A petal that isn't torn
A heart that will not harden
A place that I can be born
In my secret garden
A rose without a thorn
A lover without scorn

Somewhere in fountain blue
Lies my secret garden


-Madonna, Secret Garden

I've been delirius. Within the etherworlds of dreamscapes and illusions, I have these voices and people that eagerly encourage me to go ahead with the event coordination thing, and to try implementing the amusement park that I envisioned years ago. I woke up from all the fever and interlaced memories... I am to do what I can to fulfil the mission of event coordination/ park of adventure/ whatever... I need to start my own business, next year... promise.

Health news: I'm still sick. But I am taking my medicines... The antibiotic is really aggressive, I just hear nothing in my right ear, but it doesnt'hurt as painfully as last night. The throat infection is still there, and the runny nose is earning the Olympic medal. Yay! Ugh... I still have body ache, and fever comes and goes, but now is countdown because of the antibiotic... I dont know if I'll be able to work tomorrow, but I should be well by Tuesday. I have been grounded within these 4 walls, logging on and off whenever I wake up... Most time in bed, since the dizzyness and the bad balance due to the ear thing wont allow me to stand... Its been BAD. Its been UGLY. But once again I shall survive so the story is not over, no sir... I hope?

Kitties news: Gotta operate Kyonne and Cyric ASAP. They are marking territory everywhere and I am pissed because of that... literally? Whatever...

Visitor: Got Popu sleeping on my couch. He's staying until tomorrow. He and LS wanted to take me to see High Tension, but I cant even get close to the door... So, Groundel rented some movies and we'll all have a movie afternoon, sort of... I know I will fall asleep somewhere between the lines... Whatever...

Havent been able to call my sister or Texas, but will during the week. Most probably by Fathers day weekend. :D

Hope to develop the pictures during this week. That should be fun to scrapbook in the weekend! :D And the house thing is still going, now under the view for approbation of Retiros big boss... keeps fingers crossed, please?

Im falling to pieces, rotting... too tired to type more... fingers collapsing...
10-4

Friday summary: Looong day. Tummy ache, fever, anything you imagine I had it. Tried to reach my doctor but she was not available today, plus it was raining cats and dogs. High fever, runny nose... Tiresome sickness! At mid afternoon I gave up hope of seeing any human life and I submitted myself to my kitties will. I did some scrapbooking but got tired, and hungry... and no one to call for food... I hate depending on others, I hate feeling so vulnerable!

I've been moody too. Crying for nothing... Thinking and crying... Then stop thinking and crying more... Who can understand... I don't have answers anymore. I don't know what is the best thing for me, in the long run. I don't know which road I should follow... I feel I must do something and I fear that something is too big and overwhelming... And then I cry a bit more...

I'm getting to a point where I think there is nothing more to whatever is going on... Yes, travelling is an option, but everyday shit is always the same. The more one th=ries changing it the more it must stay the same. It is difficult to realize that although you have all this big ideas and abilities, you can't do all you could do before because you are not who you were in matters of body mostly. Diabetes is a drag... And even if i try not to think about it, whenever I get sick it is a major drag because it doubles the time for healing and it makes me slower in everything. And it annoys me and makes me mad. It makes me dependent on people and I cannot allow myself to depend on noone because either no one cares or the ones that care have no brains to handle things as they should...

Call me a supreme narcissistic leader, but I feel noone else can do things as I do... I cannot trust things to people because they just dont do what they must and it causes more stress in me. I expect too much, I ask too much... I dream too much. And I love too much.

I'll work, get a house, go ahead with the business plans, go ahead be an artist... And still it all feels empty... And seems it all will keep on being empty. Being positive has not helped... I am surrounded by friends, and I feel so lonely...

And so I think, and cry... and write... and cry... and try to heal, and cry...

Yesterday had to stay at home during the afternoon... the body ache was too much. I ended up throwing up 5 times... Ok, so soemone really wants me to loose weight or something... It was awful! Got some crackers and 7up and at least I didnt throw that up! Finally slept for 3 hours and woke up with enough strenght to walk and get more crackers. My head keeps spinning, and the body ache stays... Runny nose and watery eyes... And cant talk much... Lovely...

10-4

Whoever put the latest Evil Eye on me worked, because I am definitively sick! High fever, runny eyes, runny nose, body ache, even nausea. I feel terrile! Been on bed since 5pm and seems I ill miss work tomorrow at this pace... Too much rain, had to catch up with me sooner or later... Oh, well...
10-4

PS... Check la historia del Mamut chiquitito... http://www.lopeor.com/bromas/mamut.asp

Went to Lucinda's at 11pm on Sat and stayed until 4 am Sun, basically went to sleep as daylight was inminent... How gothic, huh? LOL Well, went to the Bday bash and Einstein was surprised and had a good time. Plenty of Vader wanna-bes around! The place was packed with smurfs and smurfettes! Sweet! LadyMex was there with the kids and kept her distance... Well, I am a nice dragon, I won't incinerate people just because... Helloo? Oh, well... Whatever she misenterpreted it's her tortuos mind and twisted perspectives. I was just honest. And her being pushy with stupid matters and keeping her mexican gringolas at all times didn't help. When I know potential and I see you are wasting your life I will try to fix that... You don't listen or won't like my help, don't make me waste energy thinking of how to help you. Ok?

Anyway, after the B-Bash, went to see Tril. Incredibly, we didn't fight. That was the good news. No bad news? Now, THAT is weird... but true... LOL

On Monday, the day was long due to traffic... Had to visit San German and Yauco, and since they are fixing the highway, traffic was stopped at many points... From 10am to 3:30pm on the road... Ewww... There is a group from work that plans to take Belly Dancing classes, I might sign up... Tuuuuusssss ojos neeeeeeegrossssss! LOL Anyway, Tril called 'cause he wanted to go to develop some pics, to Borders and ToysRus, so when I got out of work I went to pick him up. Delivered him at his home by 8:30 and finally went home... Checked out some decoration books, and off to bed by 11... I was in no mood to surf the net, my eyes were hurting badly!

Today is Tuesday, Today is Tuesday! Tuesday, green beans...

Anyway... Still thinking of what I'll do today... Gotta take a break after lunch to take aunties TVs to the repairman. Need to sleep, dying here!

10-4

Woke up early to pick up my aunts tv for repair... and the place only works weekdays... Ugh! Ok... So, got a survival grocery spree and looked for the clone wars thinguie I must draw for tomorrows b-day bash for Einstein. Also put an end on boredom with these quizzes... Loved the one saying I'm a song waiting to happen. :D A Saturday that will fly away very, very fast!



Green is your Lightsaber's color.

Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth,
harmony, and freshness. Green has strong
emotional correspondence with safety. Green is
also commonly associated with wealth and
happiness, so someone with a green lightsaber
like yourself is a fortunate soul.


What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a
protector.
Yes, you don't like to kill people. That goes
against everything you belive in. It's not that
you are a coward, but your ideals and morals
wouldn't allow it. You are the typical hero, do
the righteous things, get the bad guys and do
it all legally. But just because you don't kill
doesn't mean you can't kick ass. And that is
what you do. You use your brain and your
strenght to do honourable deeds and protect
people you know and love. If an evil guy is
going to take over the world soon, it's you who
will get involved. You hate watching innocents
suffer, and love seeing bad people getting what
they deserve. You are probably also happy and
optimistic and work pretty good in groups. And
the friends you usually make are true ones.

Main weapon: Anything at all
Quote: "You only live once, but if
you do it right, once is enough" -Joe
Lewis
Facial expression: Smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla



hug from behind - you like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. you tend to be serious and emotional.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



BEAUTIFUL ICE PRINCESS/PRINCE .You need distance
between you and your partner in your
relationship. You are very difficult to get.
You have big requirements and this one you love
must try hard to get you. But after she/he melt
your heart she/he will be the most happy person
in the world. You need someone who shows you
that you are special and it makes you feel
good to see that you are loved. She/He shall
know that you could easily get another
girl/boyfriend but you wont as long as you
love him. when she/he hurts you you will hurt
him too, but in general you dont get hurt. If
your partner cheated you ,you would react cold
and immediately (try to) forget him


~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla


Your Gothic... Maybe even a bit Vampyric... Your
very sensitive, sometimes you can be outgoing
in your own population. Your sometimes Lonely,
but when your alone your much happier. If your
suicidal, it's okay, because your the kewlest
person I know!....well don't actually know you
but yeah!


Are you a Vampire/Goth/Punk/Poser/Emo/ or just a plain PREP!?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are an Enchantress, somewhat an enigma,
you would love to change the world. You hold
strong views and, would love nothing more, to
use your magic to change the world around you.
When in conversation, you listen, take on their
comments, and fantasise how you could improve
things. Quite the idealist, you think you have
all the answers, whether for right or wrong.
You hold your intellect high, and believe you
can change the world! In a relationship, you
need a partner of high intellect.

The world
and you, often seems at odds, with you
frequently seeing things from a different point
of view.

You have a connection with nature,
often stating, that things will take their
natural course. Nevertheless, secretly, you
would like to use nature to your own
ends.

Your good points are that you are
intelligent, instigative and thoughtful and
your bad points are, you can be single-minded,
misled and remorseless.

You feel that your
superior knowledge should astound everyone
around you; and you wish for respect from your
peers.


Are you a Princess, Enchantress, Faerie, Mermaid or Toad? (with pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla




You need understanding.
In your life there has been many people that
could never seem too comprehend your
personality. Now you have either become an out-
cast because of their narrow minds or you have
adjusted yourself to them, and never letting
them see who you are deep inside. You now
think that no one will ever understand you and
you hate that fact. Though you are scared of
what the effects might be if you would decide
to let someone in so you keep a safe distance
that you both curse and bless.


What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla




~*~*~*~ LOVING~*~*~*~
Your loving nature makes you wonderful to be
around. You are the type of person that accepts
people for who they are and they in return of
your good heartedness, accept you right back.
You are most likely a romantic at heart. With a
sensitive soul and probably a broken heart from
the past, you don't usually trust people. You
have probably been hurt by someone you love or
loved dearly which makes it hard to confide in
others. Easy going and romantic, fun and
lovable, you have a great personality. You are
very well liked in the general world that
you're in.

Please Rate or message me! Thank you for taking my
quiz! XoXo <3 Lana


You're Beautiful...but why? ( PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla




You are Psalms.


Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



Your connection with darkness is through your
interest in vampires. Theese occult beings
fascinates you. Their lives are just something
you would kill for, and if you would have the
opportunity to be sired, you would. Living a
mortal kind of life is just so ordinary and
boring. You aren't necessarly evil just because
of this interest/obsession, you just can
connect with them and their lifestyles. Though
people have a hard time understanding this and
chances are you're a social outcast. Perhaps
you hate your life and therefor developed this
interest, to escape reality.


What is your connection with darkness? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

The week in rock… Nah… Just the week… Ok, so basically work has been BORING and as I get home I fall asleep right away. No excitement… And no money to look for excitement. Back to reality, sadly… Well, things could be worst… I guess…

The thing about the house is running well, so I am guessing that it all be done by the 15th… Gotta call Retiro today to check out if there are any other news. People, keep up the good vibes!

Last night LightShadow made an appearance after 9pm. Her visit was a treat. Roxy was very excited about it LOL Thanks for the bichitos! Oh, and I forgot to give you a small something, as well as I forgot to give Joe another… Well, hope he passes by soon so I can give it to you both. :)

Lucinda also made an apparition, at work, yesterday. Left me a couple of black cartulinas so I make something for Einsteins big surprise b-day party on Sun. Let’s see how that turns out, since it will be at the boy’s grandparents house… Ugh!

The phone company made a mistake and cut my line last night, but it will be restores fee-less… we’ll see about THAT. Hmm…

So… TGI Friday! Yay! I need to ponder how I will do things, when and were… Payments, moving, etc… I also need to ponder about some people…

No more news for now, stay tuned…

10-4

Hello everybody! So now I’m back from outer space… Let’s give a small briefing of what went on during my second week of Vacation Time!

Saturday: Departure from Texas. Fernando, Maria Luisa, Patricia and me went to a steakhouse for the farewell dinner. Since I had a heavy breakfast I could only manage to eat some steak chops and onion rings. Patty left for a school-friends gathering, and the parents took me to the airport. I took pics of Patty’s award shows and before the goodbyes and MariaLuisa will send them to me later on. :D The plane travel was fast and fun. They were showing Are we there yet and although I didn’t get the headphones the movie looked funny and interesting so I didn’t realize the hours went fast. Soon I arrived at Orlando, and Michael received me. Vangie was parked outside, with Groundel. They picked up my luggage and off to the quest of finding the EconoLodge! No problem, right Vangie? LOL

Sunday: The plan was Disney for 7 days, but as I woke up a bit late I had a vision of Virgilio’s face moving side to side saying “Not just Disney, Universal! Universal!” LOL (Virgilio is the chauffer with ultra super traveling experience and he warned me NOT to stay away from Universal… God, I was a good Padawan and followed his advice… So got the 3 days at Universal offer (2 days, 3rd one free). Universal Studios. Shrek 4D was the first ride, and The Mummy was the first roller coaster in my life. Wow! No bone was left untouched in the Mummy! As we went out of the Mummy store Inhotep scared me on the entry door… How nice of him…Then Twister, Jaws and Earthquake. The MIB ride was a nice shooting experience, loved the spins! Went to Back to the Future and got many bumps in the head… The whole day went too fast. Fun, fun, FUN!

Monday: Well, got the Disney’s 4 day one park a day Magic Your Way offer. Disney’s Magic Kingdom. Plenty of memories. Absolutely LOVED the Splash Mountain, and the Thunder Mountain. The Pirates of the Caribbean and It’s a Small World brought many memories, and got pretty postal-like pictures as keepsakes. (I went to Disney when I was 7 years old… so imagining… More than 20 years later…) Space Mountain broke down in the afternoon but was up and running in the night, and Haunted Mansion was cool for decorating tips. Saw the Light Parade up close and personal since we sat on the edge of the walkway, and the demon from Fantasia looked impressive! The fireworks were ok.

Tuesday: Universal Islands of Adventure. At first I was overwhelmed because the place is visually intimidating… looks busy everywhere. Went into the Hulk ride, I guessed that if I went in it I would go in every ride… and I did. :D Got into the Storm spinning ride, then to the Spiderman 3D ride (awesome FXs). The Dudley Falls ride at Toon Lagoon, was closed as we got there… we were pissed because of the 45 minutes stay in the line but it turned out to be a good thing… Went to Jurassic Park, loved the draft ride. Rode the magical Unicorn, and then rode the blue dragon at the Dueling Dragons ride. That was WAY OUT OF THIS WORLD COOL. Then took the Poseidon adventure and passed by DrSeuss land very fast (I am not fond of him). Returned to the Marvel Island and took pics of the places I had not seen. Then Went back to Toon Lagoon… the ride was wet. As a last resort for entertainment, we went to Popeye’s ride… turned out to be a great ride as well as we came out SOAKING wet (thanks to a London family we took the ride twice and the waves that I missed the first time I caught the second time). Dripping water, we went to drink a warm coffee and cinnabuns. Yummy! We had time to go into the heated pool at night, soothing!

Wednesday: Disney’s Epcot center. Ok, the history of communication and progress ride was ok, but the Innovations area sucked by my standards… The Living Seas area was my favorite. No need to go to an aquarium, you have it there. Loved the manatees. And the sharks. And the Mind Flyers… And the show Turtle Talk with Crush was outstanding! Had great laughs on that one! The Land is mostly agriculture and more agriculture, but they do have Soarin, a new attraction that is a ride that makes you believe that you are hand gliding… It was outstanding, just that I didn’t enjoy it because I was frozen the whole ride (I am SCARED to DEATH when it comes to heights). After that unique experience went to Mission Space. I loved being the ships engineer, but the captain got space sick… I thought Groundel was joking, so we went on to the Energy pavilion… which sucked… And then I realized that Groundel was REALLY sick. So, we visited first aid and stayed there for an hour. Afterwards, we visited the nation’s pavilions… Mexico’s pyramid was nice. Norway’s Viking ship was really cool. Loved Germany and Italy because they had intricately beautiful surroundings. In Morocco bought liquor with coffee, and the Illuminations show took place. I was baffled. I had never seen such a beautiful display of fireworks in my whole life!

Thursday: Disney’s Animal Kingdom. You want to visit a zoo? Here it is… The whole place has like 3-4 trails for animal watching, Mombats, tigers, a Conservation awareness place, a petting zoo where the Cabrita Incident took place… The parade was nice, no lights and not too fancy but the idea of “cardboard” animals pulled by humans and humans addressed as animals worked very nicely. I liked everything in the park, especially the Bug’s Life 3D experience and the Tree of Life. The tree has over 350 animals carved on it, it is majestic!

Friday: Disney’s MGM studios. The main thing is that Star Wars weekends started on Friday, and we were excited about that… Only a couple was dressed as Jedis… Oh, well… The Star Tours ride is old but still good, and the store deserves 5 stars, plenty of nice goodies! Took pics of Leia, Anakin, ewoks, the bald band, and Jedis… and of course, Vader. Absolutely LOVED the Muppet Show stage. Everything else in the park was a bit… lame… Liked the stunts and backstage ride… Wanted to see Beauty and the Beast and Indiana Jones shows but they were closed when we got to them… that was a downer… But all in all it was a good day, everything was calm, and the place was pretty.

Saturday: Universal and Islands of Adventure. Went to the best rides of both parks. Took pics of Popeye & Olive, the crazy doc from Back to the Future, and others that I missed the other days. In the MIB ride got the killing attitude and hit with high scores Yay! And in the mummy ride almost lost my hat and glasses… Never mind that oopsie… Imhotep grabbed one of my ponytails when taking a pic with me Yay! And ate at the Monster Café those legendary ribs that I loved so much. At the Islands went to the Dueling Dragons ride and this time rode the red dragon. Way cool! It has 2 more loops in midair. Had time to take a cool break and drink a giant Icee, then ride the Spiderman3D cart one last time. Bye-bye Universal, I love You!!! :P

Sunday: Check out at 7:30am. In the end the hotel experience was not so bad… I get used to cheap things easily… LOL Nah, the room was always clean and the people were always ready to service with a big smile, which counts Anyway, the taxi was a small bus, and the taxi driver was a crazy fuck from Iowa. The guy is a horror freak, which was awesome as he was debating with us about horror movies and then he told some pranks he used to do to his brothers and sister. Arrival at the airport went well, no problems at all. In the plane, a lady almost got bitten by the flight assistant because she had a cat… Seems the flight assistant HATES cats… but besides that there was no more commotion…

Arrived at San Juan at 1:30pm. Coriolis picked us up and we went to get Joe to have his late-birthday-meal-celebration-whatever-thingie. It was fun, my first time at Longhorn. Wheeeeee! We dropped Joe in his house and Coriolis took us to his dwelling. Groundel and me departed at 8pm from Caguas to Mayaguez. The trip went fast and was surreal… Two weeks without driving made me feel weird… almost as if I were in a ride…

Anyway, went home and got a bit pissed (welcome to Mayaguez, city of continuous pain in the ass), but having all kitties around at bedtime was enough to make me smile. I love them, ABSOLUTELY love them. I guess I’ve learned that if I am going to travel it should be just one week away, because they suffer… either that or take them with me… I guess that means trying to get rid off my fear of traveling on cruises! LOL But THAT will be another story…

Today is Tuesday, and I should have taken the whole week for a vacation of vacation... I am tired, sleepless... Oh, well... I will take 2-3 days off when vangie visits for the wedding of Frances so that will make up for the working-right-away thing... Want to go to Caña Gorda or El Morro... We'll see... Anyway... Wanna go eat something so... Sayonara!

10-4

Memorial Day.

The smell of Clorox in the air... Clean litters, clean house, clean bedding... It deserves a big WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D

The kitties, all of them, slept in my bed last night. They definitively missed me. And if they are happy and they show, then I am happy.

Tomorrow is working day, so... I didn't have any rest last night, and I don't feel so sleepy tonight... Sooooo... Whatever...

Saw my auntie today. Solved a small water problem thats her water heating system had, as well as washed some clothing that the kitties had spoiled. Oh, and had a hearty BORICUA dinner, YAY!

Basically, thats it... Tomorrow I'll talk about my vacations. Gotta go to bed, I'm beat!

10-4

A night in which I come home and discover mayhem. The good news: the kitties are alive although Cyric and Crow are skinnier... The bad news: They peed on any clothing they saw in the floor, so THATS were the smell came from... I am aware that they were only meant to be fed, but I didnt expect to find the house with clothing in the floor soaked in urine and floor messed up with vomit, hairball and anything else that comes to mind... Taking care of animals includes their environment and I intended to pay for the service. I am really pissed because I guess I expect too much of people, or asume common sense from them... I think they will do into others as I do into others... I arrived at 10pm... and just finished cleaning almost everything... The litter is beyond comprehension and that will be tomorrow's quest because I'm guessing stores will be closed... I'm tired... Frustrated... Pissed... Yeah, welcome home... Now back to reality...

My vacations went smoothly, the time with my family in Texas was great, and the Disney and Universal adventure week was a thrill. I am just NOT in the mood to talk about it right now... But yes, this is the first vacation I enjoy throughly. Amen to that... And amen to finding my children in one piece. I know they missed me as much as I missed them.

10-4

Thursday night was Patricia's Awards Night. We went to her school's theater and it lasted for more than 2 hours. The most important thing is that she got a $180,000 scholarship, the highest in the school. Way to go! :D So she will be starting college in a prestigious campus in the states.

On Friday, we attended a luch given by the McDonalds hispanic funds. Patricia was also awarded with a $2,000 scholarship from them. It was a lavish lunch at the Houston Hilton hotel. My long lost brother Ron was there and told me mom was looking for me... (Yes, the clown made a crack about my hair, but I laughed it off gracefully thank-u-very-much!). Maria Luisa got lost taking us out of Houston's downtown, but we made it home. Patty went to a mall with some friends and I tagged along. Got Kali a nice cute belt. On the way back we took two more of Patty's friends and went to the movies, so I finally had the chance to watch StarWars even if it was from the dreaded far side of the theater (I loathe seating so far, I always sit on the 4th-5th row... but hey, I had to comply, it's part of being a guest...)!

The Star Wars movie was trash. It was completely linear, with no depht. Amidala had the dumb chip on her, of course, she got married... Such a strong character with so much potential and they did nothing useful with her. And Anakin... the character's development went from bad to worst. The only star than shined brightly was Yoda and ObiWan. It was all as I had foreseen... What a shame...

Arrived after midnight based on Fl time, so missed a call from Groundel. I hope I don't get stranded over there... And made a final call to Trilogy. Seems that I won't be calling no more because he got stupid with me, for the last time. So, after crying that one off, and some therapeutical words from NoName, I went to sleep.

I just woke up because I wanted to wash my clothes, but the machine has clorox and white drapes inside... Left the bucket and came back to the room. So, I took advantage of solitude for a last time this week... I foresee I wont be able to get in the net until the end of month... But it is ok. I will make the sacrifice. I'm going to Disney! A Magic-Your-Way 7-day extravaganza! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

My father arrived yesterday while we were at the movies. We should be able to have a last family lunch at midday. I must leave at 4:30 so i get in time to the airport. The flight leaves at 6:50 and arrives in Orlando at 10:15pm... Hopefully it will be fast. :) So, wish me a safe trip and an end to my woes... at least for one week.

10-4

I hate knowing so many Star Wars fans out there are waiting in line to go see the premiere and I am not able to do the same... Heck, no one around me knows the pain! the pain! No sci-fi fans over here, and no way for me to get to the movies... :( Oh, well... Nothing is perfect and I won't die for waiting a week or two before I can be able to finally see the friggin movie, but I really visualized I would go in a group and stay in the line for two hours and joke and have fun and watch the movie and be the usual dissappointed one that critiques everything and then go eat something and finally get home and be stalked by kitties to death... It is right, nothing I REALLY plan turns out that way... Oh, well...

Been in the house the whole day. Tricia's car window had a small accident so she had to take it to a window repair place, so the small outing to the mall was suspended. I stayed and chat some with NoName and Joe, got a drawing request from Lucinda that won the oddest moment of the day award (LOL) and fall asleep while reading one of my stories... I figured that since I had the time I could try finishing one of the storylines... but the silence and the air from the fan won the best of me. I woke up around 10, called Tril but he left the cel in his sister's hands even knowing I was gonna call... well, he is at the movies having fun with his friends (very full of me to think that he would actually look forward to talk to me...)... Called Lucinda but she was sleeping... Called Coriolis and finally talked to him after 4 signal losses... LOL He was complaining, too... about not being able to go to the premier because no one invited him... Yup, its either that or people around you that just cannot understand WHY it is important... Anyway... Joe celebrated his Bday today and planned on taking his ass over to the movies... Lucky guy (I said guy, not gay). :D

Nothing interesting on TV... I'm starting to get really bored... Well, luckily things will start speeding up tomorrow (I hope). The last days of my staying here will go fast, Thu & Fri... I must be in the airport during Sat afternoon, so Sat day does not count as a real day... It's a pass day... Whatever. I'll just embrace what the next two days will bring my way. It's been nice being over here once more, spending time with Grandma (she always has interesting anecdotes), teasing Patricia, trying outwitting Luis, listening to MariaLuisa's health speech, listening to my fathers work woes... All in all it is nice to witness a family that functions as a family should. It gives some hope, and some inspiration. Don't you think?

I wonder how things are going for the house-closing thinguie...

10-4

Ok, since I have a bit of a spare time, I'll talk a bit about these last couple of days... :)

Thursday. I was REALLY stressed. In the way to the airport there was this BIG traffic bottleneck in Arecibo just before the access to the freeway... For 45 minutes the traffic was almost stopped and I was quite angry about it. I arrived in San Juan and got lost getting to Auxilio Mutuo... Yes, I dont remember streets as I used to, sue me. Met Coriolis assistant, whom I really liked, and part of the crew. Got just in time to the airport, five minutes later the plane was boarding... Ok... At least that part of Beginnings was covered... The flight from San Juan to Orlando was... LONG! Three hours, no tv, no music, no nothing... not even the peanuts they give at other cheap ass companies (I guess this one is the king of cheap asses!). Well... At Orlando the baggage claim was fast and without further events. Vangie went to pick up the tourists and off to Cape Canaveral! She took us to a sports restaurant-bar called Beef O'Bradys. The titanic burger was most welcomed, thank-u-very-much! :D And so the night came to conclude.

Friday. I wanted to take a bus to walk around or maybe to get to the Kennedy Space Center... Wishful thinking. Not one bus passed my way, and so ended up watching some nice horror countdown on Bravo. :D No complaints here! Vangie took everybody to a place that reminded me of El Gatito negro at Joyuda... Anyway... The show was this weird lady that had been thrown out of the place like 2 hours before our arrival and that kept walking side to side in front of the restaurant as well as screaming or calling people's attention... Ok... That was fun... I had a fishy sandwich that was superb, and tried fried pickles... That's a new one and tastes delicious! Since we had quite a crew, vangie decided to take us to a pier. There we walked along the boardwalk, watched the sea and the boats and the people... A guy was surfing in the chore (WTF) and a lady took a picture of my hair (another WTF). LOL Well... We stayed there chillin for a while, then we all disbanded. It was a cool outing, a pity I didnt enjoy much of it thanks to the friggin wind... It was too strong and kept leaving sand in my eyes (and I was wearing my contacts). Whatever...

Saturday... Started in the wrong side of the bed I guess. Couldnt have the breakfast I expected at the Waffle House because it was full, so had to settle for a footlong at Subways... No biggie... Diabetics cannot be too choosie when it comes to food at the right time. Vangie took me to the airport, since I had a flight heading towards Houston. The flight went smoothly. The 747 had tv, they were showing Sideways (a stupid but moronically funny movie I had seen a week ago). Never mind that, they gave a nice snack (sandwich and coffee) and I read a complete book about Event Coordination as a business (yes I am also feeding my mind, am I an entepreneur or what? LOL). Arrived to Houston after a smooth 1.5 hour flight. There was a funny thing, when I tok my window seat I had two elderly people at my sides, so went over them. I sat, and took the magazine to read the flight news... And in the third page there was a cancer ad. Normally that would be something not so important, but as I was about to turn the page I spotted the name underneath one pic... It was Luis Felipe. One of my brothers. I stared for about 5 minutes and laugh. Now, that was something. Yes, I took the 'zine with me. :D Back to the arrival... The flight was perfect and my father received me at the airport. It was a happy moment. MariaLuisa and Luis were there too. No luggage problems, we had a nice dinner and headed home. I fall asleep as a log.

Sunday... I woke up a bit late, after midday. We all went to Olive Garden, and I had my first salmon dinner (yes, I've never had salmon before, so what?). We celebrated my father's birthday, Mother's day and my arrival. It certainly was fun. Afterwards, we went to a boardwalk, Kima. The stores are vividly displayed, and there's entertainment and fun for everyone. I ate an Amaretto ice cream that tasted heavenly, as well as I got the chance to call my aunt, Tril and Groundel. It was a day that went away really fast!

Monday... Woke up around 10. Finally had some internet contact, and after a while watched tv and said farewell to my father (he had to go to work, and the proyect is in Louisiana). We all hope he will be back by Thursday. (Fingers crossed) So... Tricia (my sister) has been Driving Miss V ever since. LOL Oh, well... She had to go get some groceries and make some payments so I went for the very first time to Kohl's... and was VERY unimpressed. After Walmart and other places, we crashed at Starbucks and I had a nice, smooth, invigorating Cappucino. Since the beauty store was on the way home, we stopped so I could get something to refresh my hair's color... And then home, Internet, and bed. :P

Tuesday... I bleached the dark spots in my hair, and colored it RED. Did the laundry, cleaned my living space, and washed my hair. Went with Tricia to see Kingdom of Heaven. Liked the flick. Orlando Bloom looks so different! Much better, if I may add... :D Well, we deserved a Starbucks stop, and this time I got a Cafe Mocha. And so, we headed home. Gruendel called, and then I tried calling Tril but all i got was the damn answering machine. Hmmm... Well... Called Coriolis and that was hitting jackpot. We talked for a while... The house turned out to be a bad idea that didn't fill his void... Well, home is where your heart is... A house is just walls when it has no heart. No shaman needed to reveal that truth... Hope that he gets better... One way or the other... :)

So... It is Wednesday... very early in the morning... I will soon go to sleep... Today I should go with Tricia to a mall to check the local Hot Topic... I am curious but I know it should be the same as in PR, even Sally was divided the same way... Whatever... Visiting HT is always a good thing... :P On Thursday my father should be back, and I think there is an activity because of Tricia's graduation... cannot recall if it's Thu or Friday or both... Whatever. On Saturday I should be taking a flight back to Orlando, where I'll meet with Groundel to have a Magic your Way sort of vacation thingie... I hope I can get the tickets. Fingers crossed! :)

Spoke to Lucinda today, and to my other sis... The kitties ARE depressed... They are eating very little and they are even allowing them to touch them... I hope that they snap out of it... It has been making me sad, knowing they are not around me. I cant believe just how attached I am to my furry little friends... I need Kali to sleep, and Roxy to stalk me, and Isis to watch me and Set to scratch me... Ah... I hope they don't get sick. Especially without me being there. :(

Been doing plenty of thinking and soulsearching. Also plenty of ideas for businesses... I started reading a Webdesign book and I am around the middle of it. The ideas for establishing Webdesign as a business are very sound and help a-lot to visualize what I want and what I need (especially after the ongoing experience I have on it). I am certainly NOT wasting my time, my eyes and ears and mind being very open and being fed with useful stuff... good stuff... possitive stuff. Well, I must admit that THAT is a change. This week has been energizing, and in a way perfect for introspection. Next week will drain me but should be devoted to clean, good FUN!

Well... This kinda sums everything up,huh? LOL At least I am getting a bit sleepy. So I shall leave you all with good vibrations and hopefull bliss...

10-4

Sunday night. Here I am... making a small, fast little post, so all of you little people know that I am alive and kicking. One good thing I've come to realize after these 4 days is that Puerto Rico kicks serious ass in the beach department. Our chores are beautiful even with trash. Our views and streets feel alive and welcoming.

PR may not be an idillic Neverland, but it IS an island of enchantment, and I am very proud of calling it my homeland. So much beauty, so diverse... and it keeps more wonders to discover. I just had to write that... True, in US everything is big and flashy... but in the island everything is REAL, if you know what I mean. We don't need flashyness because our sea, our sunset, our forests, our caverns, our flora and fauna and Taino spirit makes us unique, and beautiful without adornments. That's the fact.

I feel a bit sad. I am doing many things in matters of going places, eating out... But something is missing. Something keeps on being missing... And it aches and makes me unhappy.

Whatever. As a flashy note, my father turns 60 on the 17th. HAPPY BDAY TO YOUUUUUU! And, a small coincidence, Joe turns XX on the 18th. So, HAPPY BDAY BIG GUY!!! I hope that when I get back we can do something to celebrate your adulthood iniciation. Jijiji... :D

Missing mi kitties badly. I had no idea they meant so much to me... My kiddies... :( I wuv them so! Called my aunt, and Groundel, and Tril. That's about it. Oh, and submitted myself to the torture of watching Episode I... No comments please!

Well, one of my half-brothers is going back to study-home early as in 4am, so I better leave this place and go to sleep. Dont want to bother anyone with my addictions...
10-4

Gloria, you're always on the run now
Running after somebody, you gotta get him somehow

I think you've got to slow down before you start
to blow it
I think you're headed for a breakdown, so be
careful not to show it

You really don't remember, was it something that
he said?
Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?
Gloria, don't you think you're fallin'?
If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody
callin'?
You don't have to answer
Leave them hangin' on the line, oh-oh-oh, calling
Gloria
Gloria (Gloria), I think they got your number
(Gloria)
I think they got the alias (Gloria) that you've
been living under (Gloria)
But you really don't remember, was it something
that they said?
Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?

A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, Gloria, how's it gonna go down?

Will you meet him on the main line, or will you
catch him on the rebound?
Will you marry for the money, take a lover in the
afternoon?
Feel your innocence slipping away, don't believe
it's comin' back soon

And you really don't remember, was it something
that he said?
Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?
Gloria, don't you think you're fallin'?
If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody
callin'?
You don't have to answer
Leave them hangin' on the line, oh-oh-oh, calling
Gloria
Gloria (Gloria), I think they got your number
(Gloria)
I think they got the alias (Gloria) that you've
been living under (Gloria)
But you really don't remember, was it something
that they said?
Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?

(Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria)
(Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria) ...
[fade out]

- Laura Branigan, Gloria

In case I must die…

It is never too early or too late to think about it. It should not be a gloomy though, because when you die you stop all pains, yet you keep emotions. This is my cyber-wish list in case I die:

Possessions are nothing. If you must fight for everything, well… enjoy! Only a small catch: Comics go to Trilogy, cards and cd’s go to Coriolis and RPG’s go to Gruendel. My dolls, all of them, go to Lucinda. My clothing to whoever likes goth. My car… sell it and share the split money with my uncle and my aunt. That’s all I have.

Very important for me would be my kitties welfare. I would like my sister to keep Michita, Cyric and Kyonne. Lucinda can keep Kali and Set. My aunt can keep Crow and Isis. Lightshadow can keep Roxy.

You may sell the paintings that survive me, if any. You’ll make me famous. :P

And I guess that’s about it. I am pretty defective, so I don’t think being a donor would help anyone… Just burn me to ashes and make sure that I am stirred to Nature on the top of the Combate’s Lighthouse. And please, let me rest in peace for a while… Be certain I will return as the most unexpected person on Earth…

Ok… Enough nonsense. I was feeling sick last night… Thanks to the moves at work. I had a damn allergy and my eyes felt itchy-tasty. Went to bed early but I still feel the need to sleep. I must go to Aguadilla like in half an hour… will see how I manage to do such a task. Hope that my sis and Lucinda pops up at my house after 4:30 to give them the leys to my lair and show them the 1-2-3 kitty basics. :P Whatever.

I must leave tomorrow around 8am to San Juan. I hope that Coriolis appears at the McDonalds near his house around 11am. I’ll leave my car in his hands… hopefully that ain’t a bad thing… And he should be able to give a lift to the airport. Departure is 3:50pm, arrival in Orlando is around 7:00pm. Vangie is supposed to be there, if all runs as planned. Flight NK592.

On Saturday I’m departing for Texas around 6:00pm, and should be arriving to the Houston Intl Airport by 7:30pm.

Well, I must go now. Work and packing and cleaning and visiting to do, in just 8 hours… I’m getting even more tired by thinking about it! So, stop the thoughs and go into the action! :D

To Joe and LS: I’ll miss you, guys! You are so much fun to be around! Love you both!
To Coriolis: You better be there or I’ll kill you
To Lucinda: Thanks for everything! And watch Roxy and michita, they like to run away!
To my sis: I know I can always count on you. Thanks a-lot! Hugggsss!
To No Name: Thanks for the good vibes! :D
To Groundel: Hope you find answers in your side of the trip Hugggsss!
To Trilogy: Be certain I’ll miss you, lots...

That’s it for now…Von voyage! Fading out…

10-4

OK, LISTEN UP KIDDIES: I shall go in a journey on Thursday 12th afternoon, around 4pm. I will head towards Orlando, Fl and then head towards Texas on Saturday 14th afternoon around 5pm... I shall return to Puerto Rico on the 29th, during the early afternoon around 2:30pm. Any questions?

So, if I do not update this blog in a daily basis, bear with me... It's not an easy task being away from home without Internet... That sounds scary enough... :P

My sister will feed the kitties during the week, and Lucinda shall feed them on weekends. Everyone has a name tag, and hopefully no accidents will happen. I am concerned that they might get depressed when the days pass by, but hopeflly they will keep each other entertained. I love them so! I'll miss my kids... Sniff, sniff

Trilogy is making a final effort. Let's see how real it is this time.

10-4

The weekend went away pretty fast. On Saturday went hunting for a gift for my aunt and then for some hair dye. Spent the rest of the evening and night at home, scrapbooking and answering phone calls. Checked the net late at night, had a nice conversation with a friend and then went to catch some z’s. On Sunday the quest to wrap the gifts was hilarious… Had to use Christmas wrapping, and since I had no tape I used sisal. :P Well, went over to auntie’s, she liked her stuff. Had a grrrrrrrrreat meal, and deliverd Groundel to the house. Had an appointment with Trilogy so went to pick him up. Went on a long drive, then he invited me to dinner. Delivered him, said hello to his sister and his niece, and went home. Arrived in time to watch Spirited Away once more, and then went to sleep. So, as you see, pretty straight forward weekend… And it went away too fast…

Today… I gotta try getting a hold of my sister to see if she feeds my kitties. Gotta fax the house papers first thing in the afternoon… Just got a called of a problem in a pc in Yauco… Must deliver another pc to Aguadilla… And I am damn sleepy… When I get home gotta start packing, and send a message to my family in Texas so they remember to pick me up on Saturday. :P This week will also go away fast… I can feel it…

10-4

Finally… Friday. This has been a LOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG week. I feel like trash, physically and mentally. Working lots to keep things ready for next week (I don’t want MORE stress next week). And since nothing wow was happening the local boss decided to make infrastructure changes relocating everyone… What a way to have a field day! I guess its all in the spirit of Spring, renewal, new hopes, yadda yadda… Me… My back/arm/neck can take nothing more.

Yesterday went to Aguadilla to fix something that took too long so I ended up bringing the pc with me. Had to visit Yauco, too, and at least over there things were more fun. Installed Dragon for a counselor, and since she talks too fast and with too many expressions in her voice I think the Dragon wont help much… But it was funny. I tried not to laugh in her face, but after an hour and a half, sorry… LMFAO!!!

Well, went to get some papers and to check out the changes at the Hormigueros house. Walls are down, cool. Only two things to make it perfect for a reevaluation. Hope this is it. :)

Arrived at 7pm… Quite beat, no desire to move. Did some scrapbooking, checked my mail and the battery went off as I was talking with Falls. Oh, well… That’s my timer for going to sleep and so I did. I still feel tired, I need to get used to sleeping 9 hours… 7 is too little and 8 leave me feeling bad. Problem is: too much to do, too little time… And my friggin brain! That’s the mayor problem. It wont stop moving, planning, pondering,… not even if I close my eyes because my body is in empty… Ah, and nothing seems to work besides working myself to exhaustion so I drop dead in a minute.

Six more days until doomsday! Yup, next Thursday is the liberation from Puerto Rico and all its bullshit for 2 weeks… YAYYYYYYY! I hope things keep moving and that everything will go as planned… or as scheduled (because my plans always gets spoiled!).

Today… I’ll probably go see House of Wax. Need to relax a bit. Tomorrow… need to gather my luggage at my aunt’s and put everything together. Mother’s day is on Sun… Well… Let’s see how things turn out…

Working. Gotta go.

10-4

Face to face
my lovely foe
Mouth to mouth
raining heaven's blows
Hand on heart
tic tac toe
Under the stars
naked as we flow
Cheek to cheek
the bitter sweet
Commit your crime in your deadly time

Commit your crime in your deadly time
It's too divine
I want to bend
I want this bliss but something says I must resist

Another life
another time
We're Siamese twins writhing intertwined
Face to face
no telling lies
The masks they slide to reveal a new disguise

You never can win
it's the state I'm in
This danger thrills and my conflict kills
They say follow your heart
follow it through
But how can you
when you're split in two?

And you'll never know
You'll never know

One more kiss
before we die
Face to face
and dream of flying
Who are you?
who am I?
Wind in wings
two angels falling
To die like this
with a last kiss
It's falsehood's flame
it's a crying shame
Face to face
the passions breathe
I hate to stay but then I hate to leave

And you'll never know
You'll never know . . .

"Face to Face", Siouxie and the Banshees

I tried to make you happy
You know I tried so hard to be
What you hoped that I would be
I gave you what wanted
God couldn't give you what you need
You wanted more from me
Than I could ever be
You wanted heart and soul
But you didn't know, baby

Wild, wild is the wind
That takes me away from you
Cold is the night without your love
To see me through
Wild, wild is the wind
That blows through my heart

Wild is the wind,
Wild is the wind
You got to understand, baby
Wild is the wind

You need someone to hold you
Somebody to be there night and day
Someone to kiss your fears away
I just went on pretending
Too weak, too proud, too tough to say
I couldn't be the one
To make your dreams come true
That's why I had to run
Though I needed you, baby

Wild, wild is the wind
That takes me away from you
Cold is the night without your love
To see me through, baby
Wild, wild is the wind
That blows through my heart tonight
That tears us apart

Wild is the wind,
Wild is the wind
You got to understand, baby
Wild is the wind

Solo

Maybe a better man
Would live and die for you
Baby, a better man would
Never say goodbye to you

Wild, wild is the wind
That takes me away from you
Cold is the night without your love
To see me through, baby
Wild, wild is the wind
That blows through my heart tonight
That tears us apart

Wild is the wind,
Wild is the wind
You got to understand, baby
Wild is the wind

"Wild is The Wind", Bon Jovi

This week has gone fast… Well, almost… At work, all the offices were changed in matters of layout location, so everyone was working as ants moving everything from one place to the other… I had to make sure the computers were moved and installed correctly… Midday came in pretty fast and in the afternoon completed some of the loose ends… Tomorrow will visit Yauco to install a voice command thinguie and then head to Aguadilla to configure a PC. Hopefully I’ll get the papers that I need for Retiro during the night so I can try getting them to that place, even if only faxed, before Friday. :O I wanted to complete the house buying before my travel, but seems that will not be possible. So… At least I know that during the first two weeks of June things will be completed. :) Fingers crossed…

Been scrapbooking. Yes, its fun especially to relax and forget about everything and everyone… Love doing the layouts and bringing a special touch to each page. I had to break up the big scrapbook so now it makes more sense and it is less intimidating in a way… Still working on the one that belongs to Sti’s baby-childhood. Looking for info and trying to be as chronological as I can… want it to be a nice memento for him. :) Then will work on mine, and then will work on the kitties scrapbook. After those three, the focus will be travels, and event coordination book of my works, and the AD&D years covering everything from 1991 to 2000. A scrapbook for New Millenium will come afterwards. :P Let’s see how all develops…

Totally collapsing, need sleep asap.

10-4

Ok, so it is true: The older you get, the faster that days pass by. Translation: Too much to do, too little time no matter how you schedule things. Here goes this week informational on my favorite subject: Me! :P

Friday: Went with Groundel to watch Amytiville Horror. Since he saw the original he could tell me if it was better, the scenes that were changed, yadda yadda. He tells me that the intro strip of the police on the crime scene was part of the news about the true murder case. Also, that the ghost characters were more developed, in the original the spirit just possessed the guy to kill, in this one there was a sound background and it was cool. My opinion: It was an ok movie, although now very original. The killing of natives reminded me of Poltergeist cemetery under the house… The ghosts beside the people were a cross between 6th sense (a little girl that sees dead people, in this case Jodie) and classic horror scenes in bathrooms. Horror from China and Japan kicks this American flick’s ass, but it is ok to pass 1:45 minutes of your life if you have nothing better to do.

Saturday: Woke up a bit late, around 1:00PM. Went searching for a nice pair of black sneakers. Then searching for cheap shirts that just didn’t appear. Ended up going to Almacén Navideño to get some scrapbooks: One for Baby Viv, one for Baby Sti and one for The Kitties. Later on will get one for Travels and one for a portfolio on my events decorating… Yup, will start that business next year if God helps me put the Master Plan together. :) Then attacked the mall… Actually, nothing to be found in there… Visited my aunt, watched some What Not to Wear and Trading Spaces, and then went home to accomplish a deadly mission: Clean-Up. Stayed until 2:00AM on that chore… Yup, THAT bad.

Sunday: Woke up early, finish off some cleaning and layed out a spot for repairing things that kitties had broken upon the last year. Three ceramic items. Bind them together the best I could. After THAT, went with Groundel to Plaza del Caribe. The plan was to get some shorts for the trip, but I found NOTHING at Old Navy, NOTHING at KressX and NOTHING at Marianne… On the way out I looked around in Sears and FINALLY found them… in the most unexpected of places… Go figure! We had lunch at Sizzler (and yes, it is the FIRST time I go there). Fall in love with the seafood salad and the Dorado fish fillet. I am returning to my fishy roots… LOL I remember my uncle used to take me to Joyuda every weekend to eat Chillo Entomatao. I loved THAT. Been so many years… more than 15… Guess fishes are striking back… :) Anyway… Went to visit El Calvo to give him an update on the reaction of the people (they want more), suggested he starts a motivation business, and left. Passed by my aunt’s to get provisions and read the newspaper, and then FINALLY made it home.

Well… I am exhausted! My arm-neck hurts from all the driving… and the cleaning… I am sleepy and an allergy is trying to catch me… Oh, well… Sent a notice to the realtor to see what’s up in the house thingies, and also sent a note to Hechicera to see if we can FINALLY meet to get down to business. LOL Ah, lately the whole thing of just getting a hold on me is very, VERY difficult…The forecast for this ongoing week : Need to meet hechicera, do her logo and get ideas for a site if she still wants it; get realtor’s opinion on her site and finish it off if she wants it; finish Baby Sti scrapbook and start baby Viv scrapbook. I may take a day off because I feel too tired, need to be on the bed for 12-20 hours to get my strength back! :P Ordered some Christopher Lowell books, a book on event planning and a book on web design business. The bookworm is satisfied.

About old acquaintances: I am pretty disappointed on them, but that is almost a permanent spell by now. I do not live so far, I have a phone and email, and they all know where I live but it seems that a simple drop by and say hi is the most difficult task in the world. I understand they have new stuff to do, but if I can manage to take some time to try reaching them I think the favor can be returned. I mean, friendship is two way, not one way. I have plenty of projects ahead of me, and I am running short of time, STILL I think they are important enough to drop my things and go check them if they ask. It’s in plural, so it’s not just a one-person thing. Anthony, Trilogy, Coriolis… What the heck is wrong with you all? The only one with enough excuses not to look for me is Lucinda, and even her calls to give me updates. I wouldn’t complain if you guys were people that I’ve known for a year or two, but DAMN! I know all of you for more than 14 years! I don’t know… Everything changes, but I believe true friends are forever. How about you?

Joe couldn’t travel thanks to money matters and his eyes. LightShadow passed during the week with 2 movies, and she is a very busy girl. Lucinda was shopping (or trying) and may not go to take Einstein to Ponce anymore. Groundel is finally washing his clothes after almost 2 months… LOL

Well, that’s about it. Right now, in my office, starting the day with some insight on what has been done and what is left to do…

10-4