Aguadilla, the whole day... Got home, drop dead into my bed... woke up at 8 and so here I am...

Feeling: Deeply sad, deeply dissapointed (again), deeply angry (again), like reviving a vendetta, like throwing a heavy stone lid to a friggin tomb (his, again), like getting a knife and plunging it into a heart a dozen times... (again)... Moody... Mad... Pissed... Insane...

Ahhh! What's the use... I may feel like a radioactive agent of entropy, but I am a friggin goody-goody-doer and so I am incline, in the Real World, to simply let days pass, forgive, and forget... I am so stupid when I want to be stupid... Been stupid for 15+ years out of... true love... out of obssession... out of belief... out of commitment... I always believed he was truly good for me, because whenever he is around he makes my eyes light up... and his eyes light up... and the world dissipates... I believe in dreams and angels and the destiny that we make happen... But who knows... Maybe not this time... Maybe not in this lifetime...

Groundel has been supportive and kind and a true gentleman all along. I thank him deeply for being true to me, to our promise of friendship and of being there no matter what. If he were not around, I would be very lonely. This is not a coffin BUT a mausoleum... and there is plenty of space for both of us. 'Nuff said.

Watching Groundel playing Silent Hill... cool... He rented Avalon, so I may get to see that tomorrow. Too depressed to say anything else...

10-4

I was sooooo bored yesterday that I made up a “scrapbook look” for my office door. I covered almost the whole thing with hearts in different shapes, in the colors red, pink and blue. And made grass, and even a small river… LOL Yes, THAT bored…

Arrived drained to my home, but managed to get up and visit Tril. I needed to go to the pharmacy and so he went with me and then we went back to his house. He was depressed, and I tried to cheer him up to no avail… (sight) Well… He talked and talked and talked… Seems he needed to let out of his chest many things. So I listened and tried REALLY hard to stay quiet and not judge. Then I went home… Groundel had tummy trouble but was surviving it. The pink stuff came in handy. :)

I didn’t even turn on the computer. I was beyond tired and beyond drained. I went to bed and even Roxy tried to make me feel less… stressed… Nevertheless, I couldn’t sleep well. I guess the bad vibes got into me, as I kept tossing and turning… I may be about to get sick, it was raining small droplets and those are the worst… Ah, my luck… my fate…

Today things are very, very slow… The day is murky (which I like) and the office is freezing my bones. But hey, I am alive. I guess that’s what counts…

10-4

Phone call this morning. It was nice to hear an old friend’s voice. Green-eyes used to work with me at HP, and even after I stopped working there she kept contact… Well, she called and it was ok until she started this weird questioning about cats… then she asks me if it is normal for a cat to come back home after she has left the cat in another city… because she wanted to get rid off kitty… and kitty came back scrawny and hungry after 3 days… I was baffled, shocked, you name it… Then she goes on to tell me same thing happen to a friend of hers who tried to get rid off a cat but then kitty came back after a few days… from Añasco to Moca!!! God! Then she complains about femme cat having kitties… and as I mention sterilization she says she ain’t spending money on a cat… and then she mentions they sleep in her car motor… Ok… So a the nice experience of listening to a friendly voice turned into… a gasping, slapping, incredibly unbelievable BAD trip. Then she asks my cats colors, and as I say black she almost screams because, oh my, how can I actually LIVE with 5 black cats? As she hanged up I tried to catch my breath and stabilize my emotions… How can ANYONE be so insensible to a cats’ true needs? Why people believe black cats are so different than the rest? They have no mutations… Just 4 legs and a tail and the same kitty-drive… Then the thing about disposing of them as if they were trash… When they are born in a certain place, no matter where you take them… if the new place is not safe or good for them, they will go back to what they understand is “home”. Distance doesn’t matter. They cannot understand that a human simply doesn’t want them around, period. I was appalled, and felt sad and the thought of the poor kitties being treated that way makes me sick… And the worst thing is that 80% of the people in the island behave this way with the little furry defenseless animals… They treat cats as if they had no pain, no need for love, no need for shelter or companionship… and after showing a bit of humanity they dispose of them as if they were trash when they get bigger and “not so cute”. It angers me. It makes me wanna scream and slap with a shoe all of those who harm poor innocent kitties just because… Ignorance is not an excuse. Supersticion is not an excuse. There is absolutely NO excuse for doing such a thing… And then, people think of themselves as “human”. What a joke.

Visited el Calvo and picked up Tril at his job. Then came back home... Tired, a bit stressed, a lot sad...

10-4

Joe came to Mayaguez last night, and I just "met" his girl. Just met is out of place. I've known Ms.Lightshadow for more than 10 years now. LOL The world is REALLY small. We met at an art class in our local college. And although I speak to no one, I did speak to her. So hear this Joe: The girl is VERY special, she rocks and you better be good to her DAMNIT! :P You two make a great couple. I hope this is "it" for both. Cheers!
And Ms.Lightshadow: There is a GREAT gentleman that would do anything for you, and you only. He's a crazy, smart, witty, funny, caring, thoughtful, outstanding, intelligent guy... Handle with care and appreciate him VERY much. He's worth your time and your heart. Cheers! Good vibes sent both ways!!!

Did some serious shopping yesterday, got 2 business suits and a business pant. Trying to make a better corporate image... sort of. Will not get rid of my red hair, thank-u-very-much...

Hope Tril is not pissed because I could go see him last night. I was REALLY tired and sleepy... I think I fall asleep while speaking to him in the phone... Wellllllllllllll... Shit happens... Nevertheless, will try to see him today.

Nothing else from NeverNeverLand.

10-4

You scored as Drama nerd. Drama nerd 100% Goth 81% Loner 75% Geek 69% Punk/Rebel 50% Ghetto gangsta 50% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 25% Stoner 25% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

Gossip

I am against gossip. I hate gossip and try not to further its ends. Gossip screws up people in every sense of the word. It is just better to go ahead and say things straight to a person’s face. It keeps integrity and in a way it creates trust. If someone has the guts to tell things to your face, that someone can be trusted because will deal with problems in an open way. That’s just my way of thinking… Since sometimes people do not get you have closed ears and closed will for gossip, I just let them talk and ignore them. I may gain the good and the bad of it, but I make no comments. I rather be a tomb. People talk without knowing a person’s problems or conditions or mental status or experiences… For every action there is a reaction and a motive. Taking time to dig for the truth, for facts, without passion, takes a big effort… but in the end it is the best way to get things straight. It can be a messy business… and maybe that’s why gossips were born… they are the easy scapegoat to reality and to frame those who you dislike…

I just saw a beautiful silver cross made of roses. Pretty, pretty, pretty. Me want! Me take! Waaaaaahhhh!

Solving system problems… Seems that in the holidays communication lines got fucked up… Well… To the rescue! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Will try getting the shoes for my aunt tomorrow… and will try to get 3 uniforms-of-sort for work. There was a nice clearance last week, hopefully it is still going… Nothing else is new… Ysterday was sleeping by 6pm. And I’m still tired… I need an energizer engine! Geeesh…

10-4

“If there is a solution to the problem, there is no need to worry. If there is no solution, there is no sense in worrying either.” Dalai Lama

Friggin sleepy. These last 3 days been sleeping 5-6 hours because of insomnia and it sucks… I feel ethereal already… Need to get Lucinda really fast before things start to fade away and I end up tubed! LOL

Yesterday and the day before had to go to Aguadilla to check out a slight problem that is driving me nuts and there’s nothing I can do to solve it because it’s either the electricity or the phone line… Shessshhh, I get fed up of people complaining to me as if I could do a hocus pocus or something…

Talked briefly to Tril yesterday. I am in no talking mood, and had plenty of sleepiness… When I get like that I get so drain that I require too much concentration to just talk… Imagine thinking… No way!

Groundel starts classes today. He resigned his job so he can study full time so he can try to get all the classes needed so he graduates this year. A final big effort. You can do it! We girls can do anything! Ask Barbie! :P He also took the test for the driver’s license… At least he passed the first phase. Now to wait a week or two so he tries the driving test. He needs it.

Lucinda has a very tight crazy schedule… Plans to complicate it even more… But hey, an ultimate push, to see if you finally graduate this year! As I said before, we girls can do anything…

Movie review:
Dawn of the Dead: The original, the only, the unrated, the stupidest… LOL It is plainly funny. I guess that by the time it came out it was a bit scary, but I cannot help but laugh at the zombie dances… I liked it.
Battle Royale: Nice flick. Loved the concept, cruel… but it may come to that… Young people are that savage… disrespectful… So… Go BR!

Drooling over the keyboard… R-U-N2SIN? I’ll be back! Buahahahahahahahah

10-4

I'm a pewty rose...

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
-Persian proverb

Groundel had picked a cute friendly card for me and I spoiled the surprise... I felt so bad... Well... You gotta learn to get things when I'm not around to place little shopping things in my purse, you should know I'll end up checking what I have in my bag of misteries... Anyhow, he gave it to me nevertheless. And I ended up crying nevertheless... Feeling both bad about being such a spoiler, and feeling warm and cozy thanks to the nice simple words. You know you always have an important place in my life and in my heart, silly boy. When I offer friendship, it IS forever.

And now to something completely different...

Yesterday I was plain lazy. I didn't wanna get off bed, and just layed there with 5 kitties sleeping around me. The other two were in the condo, and the last one was isolated so she would not eat or drink (because of today's operation). I woke up at 4PM... Hey, do not sue me, after all I went to sleep at 5AM... And then put a bunch of pics on a CD so I can go someday this week to develop them... Need to update photo albums and scrapbook.

At 7pm decided to try seeing el Calvo, passed by and ALAS! he was there! Plus a big surprise... The man that stubbornly said to me that he would NEVER add any kind of COLOR to his walls... and this he had said for 15 years... painted his inside walls in 5 different tones from coral to brown. I was stupified, zombified... you name it... The house looks extremely good, the color picks up the warmth of the wooden furniture and gives plenty of focal points to the whole house adding drama to the pieces he showcases... Ok, this has been my "Christopher Lowell moment" today... LOL Stayed until 9 and then headed back home.

Lucinda called, finally... and she needed me to get some info on the net, soooo I browsed and send her answers to her email. To bed at 1AM, and when I woke up for potty break I realized the cocks were singing and it was already 6:30AM... Time to get up... Ahhhhhh!!! Back to reality TV... Sucky...

Trilogy left a message, but since I arrived after 10pm I didnt call him. May do so today. I'm still mad at him.

So remember kids... He who wants a rose must respect her thorns... I have many thorns, so whoever wants me has to deal with them and respect them and even admire me for them. A girl than can be naive and sweet yet punch you in the face if you do something wrong both rocks, and is priceless!

10-4

We are gonna see the wizaaaaaaard!!!

Went to Arecibo on Sat, nice little dinner with Groundel and then nice little shopping spree. Since it was already late when I decided to keep drivig over there, we arrived kinda late to Mayaguez. Trilogy had called and left a message… I’m still mad at him, but I tried to be a good sport and called him back to see if he wanted to go to the movies at midnight. And so we did. We watched White Noise, and honestly I was falling asleep… The movie is too slow, and although it has a nice idea it lacks good writing… Gee, like that’s not the trend the last couple of years… Oh, well… Left Trilogy safe and sound in front of his house, and I arrived safe and sound to mine.

The highlight of the night was having a bit of an actual conversation with my beloved old acquaintance Joe. It was amusing to hear his voice on the radio, although the signal over here sucks, and I didn’t really liked the music from 10-11. It definitively improved after 11… but I couldn’t hear much after a while… Joe, dumbass, you do not need to ask for crashing-permissions… You just call and show up. Ok? I hope that this time around you get all that you deserve from lady Lightshadow. As I said, this year you will GLOW in every sense of the word. Yayyyyyyy!!!! Another reason for me to be happy and do the happy dance and hop along with Hannibal and smoke a cigar and say I love it when a plan comes together! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)

Woke up late on Sunday, still… FINALLY went to the local mall to browse Borders. No RPG boxed sets… but there are the novels, so I guess I’ll check which ones I miss so I complete my novels collection… The Anne Rice area was really sad, and the Stephen King area was too fancy. Saw some books on scrapbooking that I want to get later one, as well as some books on sewing… Yes, you read right… Seems I might turn out to be a seamstress by the end of this year, because I am getting some patterns for medieval styles and vampy stuff and I am so tempted on trying that DIY clothingline thinguie… I’ll try that after I actually get a sewing machine… that’s my next big buy, and seems I’ll get it for my birthday…

Browsed the tatoo books, and the cards and ift sections, and the mandatory dvd section… I was laughing so hard when I checked the new releases… now there’s a new book about the cheese… do not wait around for cheese, make your own… It is the continuation (sort of) of the business oriented “Who stole my cheese”, and I cant wait to read it… I found the first one hilarious. I know it is NOT comedy, but I am a business mayor so I find it funny… Sue me later, ok?

So… after the bookstore, then it was the mandatory visit to HT and to Walmart… and then crashed at my aunt’s… Couldn’t help the long hourse there: good food and they were showing the Conan movies back to back. I am a Conan junkie. So it was a nice thing to see. Finally came home, fed my kitties and went online to try paying some bids I won… The system was not allowing anything for a while, so I kept on in my quest for trims and fabrics (I want some in some specific styles/prints… yes, I am experimenting with textures, so what?). And after my final success, here I am.

It is 4am… and I am getting a bit sleepy… I was planning to visit the Observatory, but will leave that for next Sat. I should go to sleep and then try to get the helechos I want for my palms… Yup, still on that quest… And do the week’s clean up, and try to make people do everything I want so my dominatrix title goes on untouched… LOL Whatever… Gotta find Sara… The kitties will be neutered on Tue… See ya!

10-4

3KingsDay and then some mice...

Okkkkkkkk... Wanna burst my bubble? LOL ;P

This week has been... mild... easygoing... so-so... Called my father on the 1st, and been crashing at my auntie's for food and good drinks (I absolutely hate drinking alcohol, BUT her Ponche is something else... THE exception). Also been crashing for small bits at Trilogy's palace of dust. Incredibly odd that I've catch no cold or nothing related to any sickness... Amen... Free days since governmet loves partying, and the new gov gave Friday off... so, a small 5-days vacation... YIPEEEE!!!

Well, started a 1hr-walking-routine, hopefully it will fall between 3-5 days on weekdays. The aim is to lower my sugar, plus any magical bonuses. I may be enticed to go back to the gym by my b-day on April... Who knew...

Will take the GMAT test around Feb or March to see if I can get in the MFA program on the UIA, San German. I guess that it will feed my need for being artsy and creative... Was thinking of going ahead with the PhD on Business... but I am more inclined towards the MFA in Painting and (whispering...) Photography... I think the MFA could help for a career jump towards new horizons... We'll see about that...

Been writing-rewriting-proofwriting my fantasy epics... Creative writing bug has been on for some days now... Also reading some Forgotten realms info-booklets... Has been fun, getting new gaming ideas.

Will see if I can get to the Observatory in Arecibo between today and Tuesday, and maybe get some helechos for my lovely palms... La-la-la...

Feeling: Hopeful, like smiling, smelling the roses and the coffee, breezing

Kittywold: The 8 kitties are happy with their condo and have been creating mayhem as usual. Will get Michita to the vet so she get her operation next Tuesday... Wheeeeeee!

Friends: Coriolis didn't show up as usual, Lucinda called yesterday but I was not home and tried to see el Calvo last night but he was sleeping at 10pm... Trilogy has been with tummy trouble for 3 days, and Groundel has been a corporate slave on Xmas and beyond.

Movies:
Resident Evil 2- Milla is back, better than ever in her female-terminator-like character... Loved the movie. Can't wait for RE3. Wheeeeeeee! Femme power!!!
Gargoyles- STAY AWAY FROM THAT CRAP!!!
Manchurian Candidate- Loved it. A bit predictable but good action-drama.
Shawn of the Dead- Ah... Ok... I admit I didn't wanna see it, but heck... I was bored... Please don't sue me... Besides, it was not so bad. It was better than QOTD at least!


An that has been the latest news on this side of the 3rd planet...

10-4

Pissed, pissing... piss some more

Everyone is mad at me, sorry. I have not been feeling like hanging out with noone lately, and my mood flips from somber to antisocial to anarkist to somber again.

Family is mad at me because I dont look for anyone... Well, maybe I am tired of smiling and behaving like Crazy Glue. If someone wants to speak to me and share some quality time, they know where to find me. So, I have found that my dear sister is only interested in everything about her husband and her hubby's family, and nothing about my aunt or me, so... sorry if I have not been too enthusiastic of visiting her new house to see the new furniture. I mainly do not care much about me, but it bothers me greatly that NO ONE remembers my aunt exists. Especially after SHE has been there to serve and help ALL the rats that makes up my so-called family. My mother and my grandfather used to steal from my aunt... jewelry, adornments, even saws... you name it. Another uncle wanted to take over the house when she divorced because the house needed a "man". To all my aunt has been kind and submissive, and to all I've been the bitch because I do not need a dick to be a "man" and give tough love when needed. So... TO THE PYRE!

Friends are mad at me because they don't find me. I have not been feeling like picking up the phone, and I don't feel like talking, period. If it were for me I would go in a journey to Russia and get lost in the ice-covered mountains. Alone. Coriolis has left many messages, same with Lucinda... even LadyMex... and even Trilogy...Coriolis used his brain and called me up at my aunts, where she answered and passed me the call... thanks auntie... But overall, people, I feel I need to be in a small cave, and mourn there who I am and what I wanna do with my life, sort things out, make some moves, and THEN come out to the Real World and embrace Life... Do you understand? I dont want anyone's opinions biasing me. I dont want anyones advise, I have received too many for nothing. I just want to do what I want, what I feel is right, what I know will make me happy, fucking everyone else's opinion. So, spare and forgive my lack of calling-looking for-greeting-whatever. Don't feel like it, cannot give it.

Even the whole World situation is getting to e. I am a friggin sponge. I feel every pain around me. That's why I wanna be undercover and isolated... I am a sponge and receiving all those bad vibes doesn't improve my psycho self...

Whatever... People, just let me be... Ok? Let me BE.

To Vero: I had EVERY intention of going to meet you, but the whole thing about Mayaguez is tat EVERY corner has history for/with me. That place where you played used to be a place where someone I know worked, where some situations happened, and around the place is where lay 3/4 of the reasons Trilogy and me were not together for 15 years... his friends... his hanging-out places... the bitches that were with him and with Groundel... I hate the area. HATE. And I thought people had forgotten who I was, but they have not. I have an aura that screams out my name thanks to Trilogy... I HATE that too. I feel bad and humilliated whenever I pass by anywhere in Calle Bosque. SO I deeply apologize for not showing up. It was not about you, but about everyone else. I hope you understand. This, mixed up with my bipolarity the past 2 weeks has not been good. I am trying to get well, but I am not. So, here should come an arrow referring you to the rant about me wanting to be isolated in a cave... And I know about how parents think they are straightening you up, without taking in account you do not NEED to straighten up because you are doing NOTHING bad/wrong. I went through that as well... I was a whore because I was always with guys, for more than 8 hours locked up with them in a room... doing roleplaying games... Nothing bad, I have always been a goody-goody girl... but I guess appearances gives parents wrong conclusions. Do not cry on account of that. Get even.

So, back to my bubble-retreat... in the Twilight Zone.

Donations for Tsunami relief...

Donations for Tsunami disaster SURVIVORS
Here is a reliable place in which to give help, World Vision donation's site:
DONATIONS FOR TSUNAMI SURVIVORS click here!!!

If you have any problems accesing that site, try WORLDVISION.org

Or, you may also call toll-free 888-56-CHILD (24453)to make a donation to World Vision's Asia Tsunami Response.

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Begin the New Year giving a gift of Hope and selfless LOVE...

Tsunami... and God

Here is a nice essay about the Tsunami disaster and the role of God… I found that it says many truths, so I am posting it here. The death toll has surpassed 120,000. We should all at least give positive thoughts towards those who died, and those who are struggling to live.


Was God in This Disaster?
Turning to both Judaism and Buddhism for solace, the author meditates on God's role in the tsunami tragedy.
by Rodger Kamenetz

I am trying to connect to this tragedy the best I can. The pictures help a little. I see dead children on the floor, a parent weeping. The little ones look like they are sleeping; it is unimaginable that they are dead. I see a parent holding his dead child. I feel in my body what it is like to hold... that weight. To feel the life gone, and the heaviness of a body that does not have life. It is different from holding a sleeping child, carrying a child to bed for instance. I can feel what this father feels in the photo, can reach in my imagination, and in my memory.

But I can't multiply what I feel by 10,000 or 40,000, or even by ten. We know more than we can feel. And we respond as best we can, I think. This is our situation in a time of instant global communication.

The heart does see from one end of the world to the other, and faster than the internet.

I read that when someone witnessed the huge tidal wave approaching the shore, he thought it was "biblical." The flood story came to his mind, I guess, and behind it the old primitive idea of an angry God, destroying what he once created. Some people still think this way: everything bad that happens is a curse or a punishment and has a reason, even if we don't know what the reason is. I don't buy it.

The children killed didn't have enough time in this life to deserve this death. This kind of disaster opens difficult prospects for the Western imagination. Some would see in it a monstrous demiurge: an all-powerful God who kills innocent children. We hear the bitter words in King Lear: "As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport." Others, seeking to justify God to man, will offer the simple idea that whoever suffers somehow had it coming.

There is a deeper story about suffering in the Talmud. In this story, Moses travels to heaven and sees for himself that Rabbi Akiba is the greatest teacher of Torah. When Moses asks God what Akiba's reward will be, God shows him a vision: Akiba tortured by Romans in the marketplace, his flesh stripped from his body.

Just as it is incomprehensible to us that children, whole families, whole islands could be taken up by a wave and drowned, it is incomprehensible to Moses that a great and good teacher would be "rewarded" with torture.

When Moses asks why, God answers with a riddle, "It arose in thought."

To our own human notion of justice, "it arose in thought" seems cruel and unaccountable. Those who wrote this story must have felt that injustice keenly. But the starkness of this tale shows a kind of maturity of vision we sadly lack in today's religious discourse. God in the story offers no real explanation. There is none at the human level that we could understand. We stand before it stunned and uncomprehending.

At the level of our feelings of right and wrong, we understand there is no explanation for dead children on a beach who were playing and swimming one moment and taken away by a huge wave in the next. I can't accept the answer suggested by the Buddhist idea of group karma, that whatever happens to a group is somehow the result of a previous action of that group, either in this life or in a previous life. I don't accept that explanation in this case.


I don't believe it because this disaster happened to children. They didn't have enough time in this life to deserve this death. And in a previous life? No, that is too abstract for me. The explanation that their acts in a previous life may have warranted this death lacks specificity--and a number of deaths so huge already lacks too much specificity. I need to feel more, not less.
One time I asked the Dalai Lama how he would respond to a parent who had lost a child. And he said--these aren't his exact words--that when you lose a child you are constantly thinking of that child in your imagination. He called the child a "dear one." And he said, "You must know that your 'dear one' does not want you to suffer, to feel so much grief." I found this meditation wholly beautiful. I don't believe in a God who punishes through disaster. The disaster is.

He added that for a Buddhist, suffering is in the nature of things, and so he would try to remind a Buddhist to reflect on that. But, he said, for a Westerner, there would arise the question of meaning. This boils down to the question of Job: Why would a just God allow the innocent to suffer? The question is just as profound for an individual loss as for a mass disaster: It doesn't get more profound, just more inescapable.

I don't believe that a mass disaster, in and of itself, tells us anything about God. I don't believe in a God who punishes through disaster. The disaster is. That is exactly the way I would understand it, without adding my own interpretation, without supplying a meaning or completing the sentence. The disaster is. The tragedy is. And I need to abide with it, and feel it, instead of seeking an answer, because the answers just make me complacent and take me away from the children on the beach, and the father with the dead child in his arms.

There is no God in the disaster.

I think there is God in the response, in the human hearts of those who are feeling and responding to this, the families and neighbors of the victims, and the rest of us, the bystanders, and us, too. The whole world is feeling it.

I used to think that if something unaccountably bad happened to someone, it needed to be compensated by something good. That was my own internal accounting, my own way of repairing my sense of order, of justice. A boy loses his sight, but he becomes a musical genius. A teacher of mine lost his mobility to polio, but he gained the ability to be a blessing to others. One time I said such things in a public talk, and a woman in a wheelchair rolled toward me and said with great seriousness and very slowly, "I would like you to consider that a disability means…absolutely nothing."

I heard her and felt how I had glibly covered over my heart with an easy reaction.

I love what the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of modern Hasidism, said when asked to define equanimity. "If whatever happens you can say, if it's good enough for God, who am I to judge? That's equanimity." And he added, "But that is a very high rung."

It is a very high rung and I cannot say I am standing on it now, and rarely ever. I cannot say that this tsunami is for the good.

It is not for the good, it is not for the bad. It just is.

It is not a blessing, it is not a curse, it just is.

A tectonic plate shifted, and a vast wave spread across the ocean, and took with it many lives.

And now another wave is spreading, and it is also vast, and it spreads through the hearts of those who let themselves feel it.

The disaster is. It happened to a "dear one," someone's "dear one," many dear ones. I open my heart and feel it. The place it touches in me, touches God.


In the New Year,
may your right hand always be stretched out
in friendship,
never in want.
-Irish toast

Draining World

All these days I’ve been completely drained. I get out of work and go home and I doesn’t even have the chance to take off my clothing, I just fall in the bed and enter Lord Morpheus realms… I wake up because of the occasional mandatory jump that two or three cats perform over my head… around 9:00pm… and they do that because they grow anxious and want attention… I’m not even checking my mail at home, I am beyond tired for such an endevour… Groundel plays on the PS, the cats run over the Xmas tree, and nobody calls while there is someone in the house. Trilogy has called everyday this week, but I just did not have the energy to get up from my bed and visit him. I don’t get it… I take a bath by 9pm, and by 10pm I’m back to bed, sound asleep. And it is so difficult to wake up in the morning because I just wanna keep on sleeping… So tired…

At work, Candi is leaving us after 30 years of service. Well, she’s doing a-lot on her own, and the agency in reality is a big pain in the whoohoo. May pass by today to Aguadilla’s site so I can give my farewells… She’s going with Año Viejo jijiji.

Everything else very still. Had a bump with LadyMex and she wants to go to the movies tonight, with her kids… I don’t know if I will be enough alive to do so… I guess I’ll leave Gruendel washing clothing and then go make her happy for 2 hours… I know neither Trilogy nor Groundel will want to accompany me. Cannot blame them. She thinks so little of them that it is plain disgusting. That’s basically one of the reasons I am getting anoyed by her. The other is her ability to complain a lot but not to listen to advises because I am not a mother and I do not know how it’s like… Whatever… It’s too early in the morning to have such a headache…

Coriolis has not visited this side of the Land, and every time he calls he has to go and says he’ll call back and he doesn’t. Hmm… Ok… Whatever…

Got the Xmas gift for kitties, a nice 7 feet tall condo. Should arrive next week. :) That's their 3Kings Day gift...

That’s all folks… for now…

10-4

Tsunami

Tsunami death toll over 40,000 in Asia... Just the most awful way to say goodbye to this screwy year. Mother Nature is pretty mad at us, and still she goes on ignored... Here in this tiny weeeny island we should think about it, because the bells are tolling and sooner than we expect something like that will come our way. No, it's not being in catastrophic mode, but it is called being realistic. Our island no longer has the mountains around the chores to protect it. Civilization has left the beaches bare and naked. Once a tidal wave of more than 20 feet comes in, it won't be stopped unless it reaches the Cordillera Central, if it is that small... Every town that keeps beaches will be drowned, yes... we shall all perish that way. I've always had this love affair with El Faro in Combate, and I always dream there is this wave that comes in and while everyone runs away I run towards the lighthouse... Not a dumb thing because although it may be desperation and desire for shelter, the lighthouse is one big peak in miles across Combate and the surrounding areas... It would be the only actual chance to survive... If the Alien mother ship doesn't beam us up before the tide crashes and kills us. LOL Yup, they won't let their specimens vanish without trace, after all, puertorricans are such a special breed...

I arrived beyond tired to my lovely home and sunk in deep sleep. Kitties woke me up at 8 pm because... er... they had no food... So had to go fetch some at Wal's place and came back before they ripped everything out of rage... Then to bed until today. Don't know why I was so beat. Well... Maybe it was Sara's fault, her flan was delicious but I supposse it skyrocketed my sugar... Whatever. That's a once in 2 years episode.

Today, at my office, may or may not go to Yauco... Depends if someone is going. Yesterday went to Sgerman and fixed things there and made people happy. LOL

Another day, another death, another hope...

10-4

More Pepto, More Pepto!!!!

Pass the Pepto!!! Hurryyyyy!!! More Pepto!!! Argh!!!! Shrine to the Pepto!!! LOL Yup, that's how my Xmas was... 24th and 25th begging for Pepto. That plus in bed with overall body pain due to the Pepto causes, which makes the sugar skyrocket, which didn't help my case... Arrrgh!!! So, a very merry xmas indeed...

On the lighter side, Groundel gave me an undead doll, Captain Bonnie, which looks like an undead Blaze... Loved her. Pewty, pwety, pewty... And a gothic calendar that has all the dates of death of gothic-related people. Trilogy gave me a small framed kitty with the purr's written all over it. And between my aunt and me we bought the Xmas dinner (although I couln't REALLY enjoy it...) Yesterday managed to visit Lucinda, who prepared a cheesecake-sort-of... Yummy! Although cannot eat it on big pieces because it is pure sugar... :( Tried calling my sister but she was not home. And when I finally got home, to bed... I've been too drained to do much these days... My bipolar entities and tummy trouble didn't make things easier... I'm lucky to have people around me to make it all go smoother even if it doesn't seem like it at first sight...

Anyways... Watching a bid for a kitty condo, to see if I get it as 3kings day gift for the kitties. It looks awesome and is 6 feet high. Will put it where the tree is. :)

Gotta run now. Must visit San German and assemble 2 PC's. I'll also see if they have some helechos for sale, so I can put them beneath my little palms, to see if they improve with l;ess direct sunlight... Let's see how the day unwraps...

10-4

Me: Tired, sad, helpless, dead, undead, unliving shall scorn, the mists of Ravenloft have called to me, and I have obeyed. Always the lonesome wanderer, always a slave of sorrow and pain... Betrayed once more... this time by myself.

Everything and everyone: Merry, jolly, going on, celebrating... whatever... let them eat their Holidays up...

I wish to stop feeling... to be the Ice Queen and vanish into the storm... no trace... no memory... just gone...

This is by far the worst Xmas gift I have received in my whole life. But I accept it, I shall smile politely and accept it. I am to fulfill Coriolis prediction after all...

It’s the season to be jolly, sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la… In Perfect… Everyone remembers Everyone, people are kind and thoughtful even with fishes, and there is diabetic angel cake in every corner… But, since there is no Perfect, here we are in the Land of the Lost trying to survive using any or every means possible…

How is this Xmas? Awful. No spirit whatsoever since politics fills the streets and people’s conversations. The idea of peace and love gets buried underneath senseless expenses, as people now translate Merry Xmas into Buy Mindlessly. It’s incredible… It is appalling that a 3-4 yr old kid will end up with a remote controlled car of $120… or clothing from GAP or JC PENNEY… It is plain wrong when you think about it, children destroy the toys they get, o forget about them after 2 days… and their clothing wont fit in 4 months. I don’t get it… People fuss over the wrong things, yet the TRUE meaning of Xmas has died… it was agonizing last year, but somehow managed to survive… This year, WHAM! DEAD! CAPUT! What a shame… Me, I am not a gift fan. I only give a few, and only to the people who are closest to me. And I don’t fall for the expensive train. I give something needed, or practical, or thoughtful. People need to learn the difference between something for show and something that says “You REALLY thought of me!”. I used to make small paintings, but I have no time or patience for that right now… Having 8 cats doesn’t help that case either… LOL Big deal… At least I know that next year things will straighten up in my financial life and I’ll be able to indulge myself and those I love once in a while. For that I am happy.

What else makes me happy? My cats make me very happy. Humans can learn much from them. Also, being able to talk and see and walk makes me quite happy… I have seen so many that lack these blessings… Being alive, able to make decisions, able to do the things that matter to me makes me VERY happy… I have much to do, I have not lived life to the fullest, and that has been the lesson Betsy has taught me with her death: She TRULY lived, and so her death was sad but she did everything she dreamt of… although she had more plans… I have plans, many… And I have postponed TRULY living for so long thanks to the things that one must do… I believe in giving, in helping, in putting others before me… I believe in causes that are almost extinct… I have done my part to keep that flame alive, but I also need to achieve my plans, as soon as possible… If I am to die, I want to die after doing what I was MEANT to do… And I hope it happens that way… So… I am happy I am still alive, so I can do something to make my dreams come true. I am happy I have the few friends I have: Lucinda, Coriolis, Zordak, Groundel… They have been there for me through the good the bad and the Ugly… for more than 10 years. I am very proud of calling them MY FRIENDS… Especially Groundel. He has been more than a friend, always, yet he has been able to put aside feelings for my own happiness. He cares for me in health and sickness, and he is always there to wipe my tears and tell me things will be all right. He has been there with me, making sacrifices, and thrilling on the good times. No one has been there for me as he has, and that weights a-lot in my heart.

It makes me happy going to my auntie’s house and even arguing with her. And it also makes me happy thinking about the family I have in Texas. Working makes me happy, and being able to solve problems and make creative thinguies… Watching the sky meeting the sea at my dear lighthouse makes me happy, as it makes me feel God’s presence all around me… Meeting Coriolis and Joe whenever I go to the Area Metro makes me happy as they fill my life with laughter. Writing, drawing… transmitting my feelings… making those around me happy, sharing all I have with those I love… Dreaming, believing… It all makes me happy. And all of that is without having my happy pill! :)

So… Maybe this Xmas sucks, maybe the environment is not the best, but there are many things that makes me smile and keep hope for a better tomorrow. Thanks to my supporting cast, MERRY XMAS to all, and to all a GOOD life!

10-4

Packed stores equals stay at home cinema session. So, this week’s reviews:

The Princess Diaries 2: Loved it. Julie Andrews rules!!!

Dracula 3000: Finally, something WORST than Queen of the Damned… Do not even pick it up, PLEASE!

Kaena, the Prophecy: Outstanding music, outstanding animation… lame writing… Ok movie to pass the night…

Hero: I liked it, although the storytelling is slow and the movie is predictable… Loved the play on colors.

Blessed: Another movie about a pregnant woman delivering evil…

The Stepford Wives: Nicole Kidman, would you marry me? LOL I just WORSHIP this woman’s ability to be such a chameleon… She looks different in every movie, and every movie she appears on lately is a very well written one… Loved this re-make not-so-re-make…

Aliens, special edition: Revisited Aliens2 for the 2nd time this month, watched most of the 2 hour special ed documentary of the making of… Damn, it was really HELL for those people making this movie… Knowing that special effects were in the face with no digital touch ups (as the technology was not available by then) gives the viewing experience a whole new dimension… I always thought the alien queen was computer-made… WoW!

Well, I could actually go in the mall and found nothing in any clothing section. At least I got something cute: 2 pairs of socks depicting the evil queens from Sleeping Beauty and Snow White… Yay! And it was simply hilarious watching the Best of What Not To Wear last night… Missed the best of Trading Spaces, I forgot they were gonna show it… Oh, well…

Coriolis and Joe met for a techno dance session... PVC hot pants versus pink tutu... Who shall be the champion? Heeeehaaaa LOL Actually, it was business matters but still I couldn't resist making fun of them. It is my duty. :D (Luv ya guys!)

It is Sunday afternoon, the heat is on and I am hungry… gotta visit Auntie Mae for some supper… Jehjehjeh…

10-4

No water at work, so they sent us home... Awwwwww, so sad... :))

Actually very very sad about some turn on events, but hey... Life goes on. Chin up, pride untouched...

I am a warrior.

Yesterday was a baby shower for one of my co-workers… Everyone was surprised I knew how to sing "Arroz con leche", the extended edition… LOL Actually I was the only one who knew all songs… I guess they all thought I had no childhood… :P I thought of Betsy a-lot... :(

And I wished...

I wish things were easy for a change, one gets tired of swimming against the current and fighting alone for the causes that matter…

I wish everyone would make things less complicated, everyone should share love and embrace in brotherhood, and sing along "Cumbaya…"

I wish that people would acknowledge love at all stages and let themselves go of hate… Hate is not worth it… Hate destroys every oportunity of letting your soul smile…

I wish that the people I love most would not disappoint me so often… Just the right amount…

I wish that those I love most had all the time in the world for me… As I have all the time in the world for them…

I wish that fights would stop, and something nice would come to me every day… That would be a grrrrreat change…

I wish I were not taken for granted all the time, just because I am "tough" doesn't mean I have no feelings…

I wish people were not two-face, but genuine and free… and tolerance were the news of the day…

I wish someday I can have a nice, loving family… So I can start traditions, and show my so called wisdom…

So… those are my Xmas wishes… May them come true…

10-4

Well, so much for partying… Yesterday was a conference day at San Germán, and I couldn't go because… Guess what? I was SICK. Damnit! It's all a conspiracy against me having fun or dressing up and going out… I was so pissed about it! Not that I could actually THINK about it until late afternoon… And why I got sick? It's the most stupid thing in the whole world: I was drugged.

Ok, don't think badly about it. It all started on Tuesday night, when Trilogy asked me to pick him up and go eat. So I did. We went to get some pizza, and after a great dinner he went to the powder room and I opened up my purse and my blue pill case to take my diabetes pills. I usually carry my pills and Groundel's pills, plus my depression pills. Well, seems I took one that wasn't mine and one depression pill (which I am supposed to take only once a day and I already took in the morning). Soooo... By the time I left Trilogy in his house I had a headache and extreme sleepiness. I went in, and while he went to get some water I fall completely asleep. An hour and a half later I woke up dazed and confused, my eyes completely sunken. I knew I had to get home or I just would not move for hours. So, I left, driving in what it seems a hazed eternity, went home and fall in my bed without even changing. I woke up at 10 am, when I had the instant urge to throw up. My head was spinning, I was too uncoordinated to move more than 3 feet… Extreme headache/migraine… So basically, got tired of seeing everything spinning and fall asleep again. By 4pm I woke up with headache but at least feeling a bit better… still sleepy but no more dizziness… So, yes… I guess that qualifies as drugged, confused and sick… But not on purpose, and damnit… it was AWFUL!

Trilogy visited for a brief time, late at night. Played with Isis for a bit, stared at the Xmas tree for a bit and then went home… he said he was not going to play at night… he needed to do laundry so he had something to wear to school for today. Whatever. :)

After he went away I logged in to do some Xmas shopping, as it seems that stores around here are just impossible. I rather shop in the net than get pushed and screamed at…

Groundel arrived with a special treat: Hershey's chocolate fudge ice cream and cake… Yummy! That was nice of him. He always tries to cheer me up with food… And it works. :P

Right now at work... I realized I left my office's keys so I had to get the spares at the director's office. Not much to do today… And still feeling sleepy… but at least I am not stepping on clouds or falling over my kitties…

Let's see what else happens…

10-4

The past days have been frugal and ecclectic... Enjoying my lovely kitties, appreciating Roxy and Isis and Set and Crow and Kali...and Michita and Cyric and Kyo... for they give love and innocence and expect nothing but food and water and a clean litter in return... Awwwwwww...

FRIDAY: Long day, very very sad... Found out had a reunion in SJ at 8am... Obviously missed it... I got the message at 8:30 am. No comments... Ahhhhhhh!!! Still dazed and confused because of Betsy's thinguie... Miss her a-lot. No one calls me up at work now... she was the only one that did... Long, long day...

SATURDAY: Made a lame attempt to go to the Mall. Argh! Seems that people turned into lepreachuns or something... I tried to get a parking spot for an hour, and gave up. People were unpolite, with seedy eyes and very angry... I don't get it... It looked like 24th of December at 8pm... Geesh! Get a life, people!!! Sooo, rented 4 movies and hibernated. It was the best bet to keep sanity at bay.
The Kingdom: Ok... Not what I expected, it was a haunted hospital flick that lasts for almost 4 hours... Old movie, set in Dannish land... I liked it. It was well written. The outcome of where the ghost girl was surprised me. Cool crazy foreign movie.
Divine secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood: Why is it that... whenever there is a nut-brain almost psycho person who is hated by 90% of the people around her in the movie... her name is Viv? Cualquier semejanza es pura coincidencia. :D Ok... liked the movie, predictable... dramatic... was not enough to make me cry so it was just ok. Another Beaches-like friendship, mother-daughter, problems-good times chick flick...
Asylum of Darkness: I won't even bother... Enough to say that they show the demon just before the movie really starts... Crappy... Stupid... Waste of money... Doggies poo.
Aliens:Resurrection: Another take on all-time scary Sigourney Weaver. LOL Stupid crappy movie, only thing that saves it is the nice Aliens collaboration as they act flawlessly. :D

SUNDAY: Woke up early to get to the mall to get the kitty litter so my apartment doesn't smell bad in Xmas... Buahahahaha... Got it, ran away from the mall as fast as I could... It was packed, again... and it was only 11 am... GET A LIFE PEOPLEEEEE!!!! So... afternoon watching the last of Aliens and then to my aunt's house to snatch food. Then home to sleep... 3 days without login into the Net... Wow!

MONDAY: Overall blue but happy. Mixed fruit in my brain... LOL Whatever... Got home and was completely drained so slept from 5 to 10. Small interruption at 7 when Trilogy called... His grandma on the father's side was buried at 2pm. RIP. He seemed to miss me... Whatever... Back to sleep... Then logged to check my mail, and then off to bed by 11...

TUESDAY: And still, I feel sleepy... Here I am, at work... Frustrated with some tools that look like hell... Waiting for a friggin ladder to throw a friggin cable... And feeling a bit blue but trying to kick it off.

So this is what I have been up to, and now, I must tune off...

10-4

I was not going to travel to San Juan, so on Wednesday I went to work and so the day passed... But I was feeling bad about not seeing Betsy. I mean, I know that the long travel makes me almost catatonic when I arrive home... but this would be my last chance to see her. Since I was hesitant, I asked Alex to go send a floral arrangement for her... He made the arrangements during the day. Thank you, Alex! :)

During the afternoon, there was the bad news that one of the supervisor's mother died, and they were preparing the buses to take the people to the funeral and to the cementery. It made me think, hey, all these people are going to see the co-worker's mom... And I am not going to see my friend? I got home and got a call from Alex saying he took care of everything. Then he described the floral thinguie and I couldn't help but burst in tears. He got exactly what I had in mind but didn't mention to him... When I hanged up I guess I had my mind made up... Guess that was the boost I needed to go say my farewells to my dear friend...

I was lucky. I didn't want to go alone, and I asked Joe to go with me. He didn't even thought about it, saying yes right away. So, in the morning, instead of driving to work I drove to Carolina to go pick up Joe. He was still sleeping but got ready in a flash and off we went to find the place... I was told my friend was in one place and turned out she was in another... We almost got lost, sort of... I had no idea where we were all the time, I had too many thoughts crowded in my mind. I was just thinking that I would not make it in time, that I would not see her, and that thought was drilling into my mind... We finally made it. I rushed up the stairs and rushed to the funeral chapel. I hear someone say my name but it was so far that I ignored the voice. I even forgot about Joe following me. I just had to see her, and I thought I was too late. But I wasn't. She was still exposed, charmingly surrounded by flowers.

The coffin was pure white, as the satin interior and her clothing. A veil was covering her exposed face, and it gave her an eerie feel... Over the coffin, a huge floral arrangement made of small red rosebuds embraced her. It look beautiful. The lights on the sides, and the overall placement of all caskets was beautiful. Her mother was there, lost in her sorrow... asking her daughter to take her along, asking why her daughter could not even live long enough to at least see her son. It made my heart feel oppressed. I know the history behind Betsy's mom... She's an old lady, frail, constantly sick... and Betsy was her life... I fear this pain may be too much for her... I looked around looking for Tony, but he was not inside the chapel. So I sat for a while, observing... The whole scene was surreal. Yes, I had to go and see for myself because somehow until that moment I didn't really believe it... I hoped that it was a prank, a jest... But no, it wasn't. I did well on travelling from Mayaguez if only to be there for half an hour. Although I was deeply troubled, my mind went blank and a huge sense of relief came over me. They made the call for the mass, and I went out because I did not intend to stay for that. I knew people would get emotional, and I cannot be around that at least not for too long... I am a sponge for vibes and I know when I am getting overflooded. But I wanted to at least see Tony. As I went back into the chapel to ask for him, I felt a hand in my shoulder. At first I did not recognize him, but there he was... Funny, he found me. He smiled as we hugged. I only got to say "I almost didn't make it". And he answered "But you did". And with that I went to Joe and told him I was done, that we could go.

So... Joe spoke of food and we went to get food. He did his job well, as he made me laugh. Although I was not really thinking... But I guess that comes with the events... I don't know if I would have been able to be calm and serene if he had not been there. I arrived hyper and cranky and anxious, and he worked his magic flawlessly. Thank you, Joe. :) Then I left him at his second home.

Driving back home was like an elven reverie... Images of all that happenned in this almost 5 years that I have known Betsy... when I arrived in MIS, her sweet bitchyness with the guys, her giant attitude for a small body frame, her efficiency at work and her efficiency as a mom... Whenever I needed to stay in San Juan for a reunion or conference or whatever, she always offered her house no matter if it was the small apartment at Carolina or the crowded house in Rip Piedras... I was there at her wedding with Tony... Whenever she travelled she gave me pictures of weird places that reminded her of me (like the Salem witches museum)... Jejeje... And she was going to stay at a Cabo Rojo resort to attend my wedding with all her family. She was there to give me advise, to laugh at my jokes, to get upset at me for not being on time, to preach me, to give me the "Evil Eye", to share her food... good times and bad times, she was ALWAYS there. I guess she must be laughing, she finally made me get the toll tickets that I owed her...

A day after, and the change is visible. At least she got the best end of the bargain, she is now in a better place than we are. And it is not a goodbye, but a see you around... In the end, we will all meet again. A hug, a kiss and a smile. Thanks for everything, Betsy. :)

10-4

En Memoria de Besynet Maldonado

"Your brother shall rise again."
(John 11:23)

When I was told Betsy passed away, I didn't know what to say... More than a co-worker, she was my dearest friend...

Then I remembered what Jesus said, when He saw Mary and Martha crying
after the death of their brother, Lazarus:
"Your brother shall rise again."

Know that Betsy is in a place of true peace now,
where there is no more pain, neither sorrow, nor crying.
And, as Jesus told Mary and Martha, you shall see her again.

Paul told the Thessalonians they should not grieve
as those who do not have the hope of eternal life,
that those who "fall asleep" in Jesus shall rise again.

We have this hope.

God is supreme and fully in charge of all things.
Nothing takes Him by surprise.

Our job is to trust the Father's wisdom (Father Knows Best).
He really does have the eternal perspective and oversight on such things
and truly does have our best interests in mind.
"All things work together for good ..." (Romans 8:28)

Take care, little lamb.
Many things about tomorrow we don't understand,
but we know Who holds tomorrow ... and I know He holds your hand.

Your Shepherd dearly loves you, Betsy.
Rest in His arms. Tell him how you feel.
He will comfort you and give you peace.

In His never-ending love...

Recordaré siempre con mucho cariño a esta querida compañera y amiga, que siempre dio más del 100% en todo lo que hacía, que siempre pensaba en los demás primero antes que ella misma. Una excelente profesional, una excelente madre y esposa, una excelente amiga.

Betsy: Nos haces falta... Jamás te olvidaremos. Descansa en paz.

Betsynet, my only friend at work, in San Juan, had some issues while giving birth last week... as of this morning she was diagnosed with brain death. As of today, her baby can go home and is alive and kicking... Her body, waiting for some miracle, or someone to plug off the cable.

This was all a surprise, unplesant of course... Last week was the baby shower but since I was sick I couldn't make it. No one from the office of San Juan told me that she was in the hospital, her so called "colleagues" assumed that perhaps I would use a crystal ball to get the news... I don't even know in which hospital they keep her...

I hope that Tony is strong, I hope he survives as we all know how much he loves her. Now he must be strong for the 3 children that need him. As for Betsy... Her life was short, but fruitful. She did many things, travelled many times, and brought smiles and trust and warmth around her. She was there whenever I needed a helping hand out there in the Metro area, and she was the only "co-worker" whom I dare to call a friend, as she was not a two-face. She carried many roles over her shoulders... I hope that at least the pains stopped. Be at peace, and do not hurry death... let her come gently, as if in a dream...

10-4

Yesterday... Put together the small Xmas tree for my aunt's living room... That's the "come-mierda" one... It turned out AWESOME. Gotta take a pic of the "Innocense" tree, as I baptized it... Last night visited (por fin!!!) al Calvo. Judith appeared so it turned out to be a fun entertaining evening. Laughed a-lot, had to let go of my kitty choker because I almost strangled myself with laughter! :)

Today... Putting the palms together, tied them so the leaves wont bother anyone, or better say so no one keeps pulling them apart... Hmmm... After that hunted for some decorations for my aunt's big Xmas tree. Went to her house, got some cash for getting the musical lights and went back for showtime... Put together the tree, and it is very very happy... Last year it looked lame, this year it really rocks! Yayyyyyy! The long hours paid off... I still have to put the lights around the fence, but that will be next weeks story... One thing at a time. I ain't that young no more... :P

So, since I've been busy I have snapped of the crying game. It's better just to do what I have, no point in waiting around for things to happen... Especially when I know they just won't.

10-4

La Rosa y El Sapo

Había una vez una rosa roja muy hermosa y bella. Que maravilla al saber que era la rosa mas bella del jardín. Sin embargo, se daba cuenta de que la gente la veía de lejos.

Un día se dio cuenta de que al lado de ella siempre había un sapo grande y oscuro y que era por eso que nadie se acercaba a verla de cerca. Indignada ante lo descubierto le ordeno al sapo que se fuera de inmediato; el sapo muy obediente dijo: "Esta bien, si así lo quieres".

Poco tiempo después el sapo paso por donde estaba la rosa y se sorprendió al ver la rosa totalmente marchita, sin hojas y sin pétalos. Le dijo entonces: "Vaya que te ves muy mal. ¿Que te paso?"

La rosa contesto "Es que desde que te fuiste las hormigas me han comido día a día, y nunca pude volver a ser igual".

El sapo solo contesto, "Pues claro, cuando yo estaba aquí me comía a esas hormigas y por eso siempre eras la mas bella del jardín".

Moraleja:

Muchas veces despreciamos a los demás por creer que somos mas que ellos, mas bellos o simplemente que no nos "sirven" para nada..

Dios no hace a nadie para que este sobrando en este mundo, todos tenemos algo especial que hacer, algo que aprender de los demás o algo que enseñar, y nadie debe despreciar a nadie...

No vaya a ser que esa persona nos haga un bien del cual ni siquiera estemos conscientes.

Surrounded by insensitive assholes. What to do? It is destiny, it seems... Why is it that no one has CLASS these days? Or plain common sense? Guilt trips doesnt work on me. And thoughtless behaviour just feeds my anger... Anger at every being that doesn't have a tail and doesn't purrs.

No sleep whatsoever... Mindboggling hops of the brainwaves keeping me awake... Uno mata a cuchillo de palo, el otro mata a cuchillo de estupidez.

... nothing to say... just keep all words that I want to scream buried in my throat... just peeking...

I'm a cold heartbreaker
Fit ta burn and I'll rip
Your heart in two
An I'll leave you lyin' on the bed
I'll be out the door before ya wake
It's nuthin' new ta you
'Cause I think we've seen that movie too

'Cause you could be mine
But you're way out of line
With your bitch slap rappin'
And your cocaine tongue
You get nuthin' done
I said you could be mine

Now holidays come and then they go
It's nothin' new today
Collect another memory
When I come home late at night
Don't ask me where I've been
Just count your stars
I'm home again

'Cause you could be mine
But you're way out of line
With your bitch slap rappin'
And your cocaine tongue
You get nuthin' done
I said you could be mine

You've gone sketchin' too many times
Why don't ya give it a rest
Why
Must you find
Another reason to cry

While you're breakin' down my back n' I been rackin' out my brain
It don't matter how we make it
'Cause it always ends the same
You can push it for more mileage
But your flaps r' wearin' thin
And I could sleep on it 'til mornin'
But this nightmare never ends
Don't forget to call my lawyers
With ridiculous demands
An you can take the pity so far
But it's more than I can stand
'Cause this couchtrip's gettin' older
Tell me how long has it been
'Cause 5 years is forever
An you haven't grown up yet

You could be mine
But you're way out of line
With your bitch slap rappin'
And your cocaine tongue
You get nuthin' done
I said you could be mine
You should be
You could be mine

Yeah !

-Guns'n Roses, "You could be mine"

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in, the city of angel
Lonely as I am, together we cry

I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy
I never worry, now that ain't a lie.

Well, I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way, yeah, yeah, yeah

It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe that I'm all alone
At least I have her love, the city she loves me
Lonely as I am, together we cry

Well, I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
Well, I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way, yeah, yeah, yeah
oh no, no, no, yeah, yeah
love me, I say, yeah yeah

One time

(under the bridge downtown)
(is where I drew some blood)
is where I drew some blood

(under the bridge downtown)
(i could not get enough)
i could not get enough

(under the bridge downtown)
(forgot about my love)
forgot about my love

(under the bridge downtown)
(i gave my life away)
i gave my life away yeah, yeah yeah

(away)
no, no, no, yeah, yeah

(away)
no, no, i say, yeah, yeah

(away)

Here I stay

-Red Hot Chilli Peppers, "Under the bridge"

It takes a lifetime to become the best that we can be
We have not the time or the right to judge each other
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit - one life!
So make sure you like what's in your closet

I am what I am
I don't want praise I don't want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty
And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle
Why not try to see things from a different angle
Your life is a sham
Till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am what I am
and what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It's one life that I want to have a little pride in
My life, and it's not a place I have to hide in
Your life's worth a damn
Till you can shout out
I am what I am
I am what I am
I am what I am

-Gloria Gaynor, "I am what I am"

Thanks to the high A/C setting at my office I arrived in pretty bad shape to my home yesterday, and was in bed for the rest of the night AND today. I couldn't move. And the coughing was pretty bad... So, today couldn't go to work, like they will weep for that fact... I am so unimportant in that hellish place, they don't even notice when I'm not there, unless of course, the server crashes... Npt even in the fire drills they remember me... Gotta repeat the mantra "2 more years, just 2 more years".

Feeling crappy. Reading about ol' Pops made me recall that 2 days ago I also slipped after getting some water from my fridge. Landed on my right knee... And somehow hurt mt left knee. Yup, add that to my overall sickness... I was walking as the crows from Looney Tunes... In a way, it was funny...

Trilogy called, to say "Oh, you are still sick... When am I gonna see you?". Well, pal... Whenever your cojones make you feel like it. I mean, he aint so desperate to see me if he has to think about it, after 7 days. A whole week, and it is so hard to move that body and walk over to my home. Fuck his stupid reasons, somethings are worth swallowing up a bit of pride, especially when it would actually send a message of "Heck, I care". And then comes the mandatory "I'll call you tomorrow"just 2 seconds after finishing the first sentence... And I have absolutely no reason to get upset... When will a REAL man make me fall in love with him? I guess thats the one that will never happen... Men are scarce, the good ones are taken or are gay... And too many women that would do ANYTHING for a piece of even the lowest scum. So... Thats plainly depressing. I am in love with someone who deserves not even a thought from me, for he do absolutely nothing for me... Some things never change... The only one that actually did something for me, like showing he REALLY wanted to see me and be with me was Joe. I don't get what is so difficult about doing that simple thing... The details that never happen are the ones that hurt most.

Anyway... I'm tired, everything aches, got a big headache, my heart is in pieces and I have no cable... It's the pits...

Returned to work today... not a pretty sight... should've taken the whole week off as the doctor ordered, but noooooooo, me and my stupid sense of responsability... E-mail turning out to be the most anoying thing, talking about intranet e-mails... Too many people talking about the same thing except the person who NEEDS the job done, and too many people who are NOT your supervisors telling you what to do... Some enemies created because of honesty, and so... the bitchy legends keep on prospering... My bitchy legends... Ah, a tear of proudness falls from my left eye...

I am feeling still sick, whole body aches, but here I am, standing against the face of adversity... trying to do my job even if no one really appreciates it.

During the past few days I was pretty much confined to my house, so I got to see:
The day after tomorrow... cute movie, heart touching, more of the same but entertaining...
Garfield... A movie with no big script, no big visuals, no big desires I guess... But since it is a fat cat movie I must say I liked it...
Spiderman2... Ok, Sam Raimi rules. Loved the intro, loved the movie, loved the script, loved the visuals, loved the action, loved Doc Oct... I can't belive it is a second part movie that actually sticks to the first one and to the comic books... Awesome.

Besides that... Sleeping, checking emails and more sleep... I still feel as if a thousand horses had stepped all over me... Haven't seen Trilogy ever since last Friday, and he called on Tuesday I think... pretty much all that there is to say about his side... Talked to Coriolis this morning... Another weekends he won't come over... Why expect a miracle... Whatever...

And that's all folks...

Revisited Aliens, and fell in love once more. Granted, it aint as suspense-like as Alien but hey, it's ok... Sigourney Weaver is always scary. :))

Couldn't go to work. Spent the whole morning with deliriums and high fever. The joy... Argh... Whatever... Feeling a bit better now, still coughing and with runny nose but I guess the chicken soup my aunt gave me will make me better... Those old recipes... They are something!

Mr.Flach still alive and kicking. Hope things turn out as he wants, damnit!

My eyes sting... Gotta go back to the shadows where I belong...

This is the happy house -- we're happy here
In the happy house -- oh it's such fun
We've come to play in the happy house
And waste a day in the happy house
It never rains

We've come to scream in the happy house
We're in a dream in the happy house
We're all quite sane
This is the happy house -- we're happy here

There's room for you if you say you do
But don't say no or you'll have to go
We've done no wrong with our blinkers on
It's safe and calm if you sing along

This is the happy house -- we're happy here
in the happy house
To forget ourselves -- and pretend all's well
There is no hell

-Siouxie & the Banshees, "Happy House"

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It´s a black fly in your Chardonnay
It´s a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn´t it ironic . . . don´t you think

It´s like rain on your wedding day
It´s a free ride when you´ve already paid
It´s the good advice that you just didn´t take
Who would ´ve thought . . . it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
Well isn´t this nice . . .
And isn´t it ironic . . . don´t you think

It´s like rain on your wedding day
It´s a free ride when you´ve already paid
It´s the good advice that you just didn´t take
Who would ´ve thought . . . it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything´s okay and everything´s going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything´s gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you´re already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It´s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It´s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn´t it ironic . . . don´t you think
A little too ironic . . . and yeah I really do think . . .

It´s like rain on your wedding day
It´s a free ride when you´ve already paid
It´s the good advice that you just didn´t take
Who would ´ve thought . . . it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

-Alanis Morissette, "Ironic"

I´m broke but I´m happy
I´m poor but I´m kind
I´m short but I´m healthy, yeah
I´m high but I´m grounded
I´m sane but I´m overwhelmed
I´m lost but I´m hopeful baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything´s gonna be fine fine fine
I´ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I´m sober
I´m young and I´m underpaid
I´m tired but I´m working, yeah
I care but I´m restless
I´m here but I´m really gone
I´m wrong and I´m sorry baby

what it all comes down to
Is that everything´s gonna be quite alright
I´ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
What it all comes down to
Is that I haven´t got it all figured out just yet
I´ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other is giving the peace sign

I´m free but I´m focused
I´m green but I´m wise
I´m hard but I´m friendly baby
I´m sad but I´m laughin
I´m brave but I´m chicken shit
I´m sick but I´m pretty baby

What it all boils down to
Is that no one´s really got it figured out just yet
I´ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other is playing the piano
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything´s just fine fine fine
I´ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab . . .

-Alanis Morissette, "Hand in my pocket"

Watched Ju-on:The grudge. Ok... It was entertaining, predictable... The idea was cool, the outcome... More or less...

Watched the last 6 episodes of Xena: Season 4. Need to get Season 5... Xmast wishing. :)

Runny nose, fever, sore throat… Why is it that whenever I have free days I get sick? The world will never know… Well, seems I am kinda stuck here at home… Medicines keep me in Sleepyland and I guess its better that way so I cool off some thoughts and so I get necessary rest. :D

Finally crossed words with Coriolis but he had to hang up fast because he was approaching the speedway… Ok… At least I know he is alive.

Lucinda is alive at well. She wanted me to head towards her home to paint some Dismey stuff on Elmira’s room… Hold that thought, I can’t… I’m sick… No free food… Bummer…

Trilogy spent Thanksgiving day with his best friend Dak. So when I visited him, he was not there. Talked a bit with his uncle, and oddly enough he made sense in some things he told me… It is funny, Cayo studied with me in PreK and Kinder, and years later he sees me in his house dating his nephew… :P God’s sense of humor… So I was mad at Tril, of course… Back to the no leaving messages and going away with femme friends circle… on a marked day in which I expected to do something nice or fun… Spoke with him yesterday, gave him the femme friends speech # 43, and had to go home because I started having a fever and my eyes where killing me… And so, the rest of the story you already know…

Been tossing and turning and having waking dreams… Maybe I’m the next Moadib… LOL May go back to my sleeping lair just as… right now…

Wicked Weekend. Not much happenned, just spending time with kitties and trying to put together a new game and spending time with Trilogy. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So far, so good… Hopefully I won’t jinx the good vibes… Today it’s 22, so we know what that means… Prrrrrrrrrr #1

Read the 2 whole monster compendiums so refreshed myself with the old monsters for gaming. :P Groundel will be using Nuff, a berserker mule and a femme priestess-adventurer. May start by the surroundings of Mirabar, who knows… Tempted to use Ravenloft hard-core… May do so, been a long time.

Elmira’s b-day was on Saturday, and Lucinda forgot to tell me. Grrrrr! Anyway, she may actually do something 4 her later on…

Coriolis… I guess I won’t see him until he ships himself as a Xmas present or something…

Old Joe seems to be having fun, misbehaving as usual… ;)

Feeling: Happy, happy, with alergy… but happy. :D

10-4

Ok... So expect absolutely NOTHING and get absolutely EVERYTHING or at least much MORE than what you ever expected... I'm happy. Pinch me, pinch me!!!

10-4

No work today, we celebrate the Discovery of Puerto Rico... like the Taínos had not already discovered it before Columbus... Whatever!

Bored. Cleaned up the haven in the morning, and just browsing the net in the afternoon. No one has shown signs of being alive... Whatever...

Argument with Trilogy yesterday. The expected biggie about the same-thing-circle... In the end back to the dunno what to do speech... So his hesitating nature keeps growing, my patience keeps thinning (but is still there, miracle!), and life goes on... When I know what's the outcome I'll let you know, kiddies! Yup, even I am bitting my nails with the mystery...

I'm starting to think Roxie is the encarnation of Kyonnenne the First. She is absolutely into me! Love this kittie! She's always following me around and bringing her paw to my arm or face... Cute lass! At least SOMEONE truly likes me for free... :D

New cabinet at work, so did some work-shop cleaning and started putting up my Xmast tree... need more decos for the little guy... Another cutesy moment in my life... Wheeeeeeeeee!

Out

You Are From the Sun

Of all your friends, you're the shining star. You're dramatic - loving attention and the spotlight. You're a totally entertainer and the life of the party. Watch out! The Sun can be stubborn, demanding, and flirty. Overall, you're a great leader and great friend. The very best!

What Planet Are You From?

You are 93% Aries

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

Why live life from dream to dream? The idea is everything, but the effort is worthless. I am tired, tired of doing everything humanly possible, for nothing. I see results, whenever I am the one doing things, or looking for the right people… But no action or results coming form others… I’ve been walking in the clouds for a while, but it has been thanks to my own compromise with myself to make things work and let go of anger and hate and become a Jedi… But it seems I am the only one willing to be a Jedi after all… Pretty words and promises and thoughts are blissful mirages. I am not into words, but actions. I am not into promises, but truth. I am not into changing who I am and what I think, for NO ONE. I am PROUD of who I am, of my code of honor, of my endless faith in goodness, of my dreams and of my actions. There’s absolutely NOTHING I would change from my self, because TRUTH and FAITH and LOVE and COURAGE and ACTION have forged me.

I have been forged by fire and ice, through the good and the bad… And although MY life has not been perfect, it has been HONORABLE and I have given more than my 100% to my friends, to my family, to work and to studying. I have done so far everything that I said that I would do, and I am not stopping. I am an ongoing SOMETHING settling for CHANGE at all times, nothing more nothing less. I cannot and will not be a conformist, especially knowing all I do and wanting to do all I still want to do. If ANYBODY dislikes ANYTHING I do or say or think, from the bottom of my heart: FUCK IT. I am who I am, I know who I am, and I absolutely LOVE who I am. I am not about to change my SELF, body and soul included, just because I could be a hit in the social corner or in any other corner. I do not sell myself short, and I expect things from myself that go beyond the things I expect from people. I am hard with myself, because I have high standards. And I deserve to be surrounded by people who at least can appreciate my standards even if they go way below them.

I can go with the flow, and accept and move on, but do not expect me to try drowning myself in shit because that simply won’t happen. Because of who I am, because before anything or anyone else, I am in love with MYSELF, and I worship MYSELF and I expect great things from the only person that has NEVER failed me… MYSELF. I am my biggest fan, I am my own brigade, I am my own army, I am my own motivation, I am my greatest dream. So I feel sorry for you, the little people, the ones that obey society’s whims and commands without thinking just for the sake of belonging to something. I will always look through the glass that separates us, with contempt and even sadness… But I just can’t and won’t betray who I am for you. No matter how much I feel for you, no matter how deeply I love you… In the end, I love myself the most.

I talked about disappointment before… Yes, it comes from my greatest love as well as from my greatest friend, as well as my greatest hope and as well as from my greatest gamble... Then it goes on with the never-ending ones that are and are not all at the same time. I hate absence. I hate absence especially when it is at your side, in your nose. And then comes the circle of questions that are NONSENSE, which comes from mistrust… When there is no trust, there can be no love. It is a funny thing… Being up front, crystal clear, blunt, simple, straightforward seems to give absolutely no answers to some people… It is almost like they do not listen! They are so focused on their own beliefs and their own fantastic little worlds that when they clash with reality they can only mumble insanely the same words once, twice, and then some… LIGHTEN UP! WAKE UP!

WHAT’s GOING ON?! Whoever truly knows ME knows that I am too honest for my own sake, that I spit the truth either you like it or not. So… No mumbo-jumbo, no tricks, no spells, no illusions… Damnit, DON’T YOU GET IT? No cards up my sleeve, just me and my words and my Shield of Truth and my Sword of Justice… TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! And seems that I bring on such an entertaining show, huh?

No show. I am all I want to be, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. Believe, or not. Trust, or not. Be on my side, or not. There are no middle points. Love me, or not. I am not taking any more shit from anyone. Be, or simply don’t… But then, FACE the CONSEQUENCES, and don’t you WHINE about THEM!

The way of the warrior is cold as steel, is sacrificed, and is despised by many… but it takes comfort on the warmth of the blood that the blade spills, and its core is fueled by honor that many betray. I am a TRUE warrior. I shall never fight you while you turn your back to me, or if you are innocent. But speak with actions of evil, betrayal and deceit, and my sword will not have pity on you. Feelings run deep, but I do excel at my duty… Death before dishonor.

10-4

It is a constant dissapointment... People are... Everyone... In every sense... Friends and foes... Family and strangers... Lovers and enemies... Constant dissapointments...

It is not easy ignoring how dumb and stupid people can be with you... It is not easy smiling so the show goes on in this Big Show called Life. It is best not to think, so things are just done, so actions are taken, and there is no bias towards that...

It is sad how good intentions and truth can be bent at will by those you love most. It is sad when you know you give all you've got and even a bit more, to keep on receiving daggers... It is sad to stand strong at all times even when you feel your wounds have taken the best of you, even if you are bleeding to death... and then you realize you stand strong for the wrong cause or people... It is sad, when all you've got is more time in your hands to built, when you thought you already built...

But isn't it good, isn't it grand, isn't it great... To live the life you like... Even if it hurts you every step of the way... Crystals in the floor from so many shattered mirrors can be such a nuisance...

Still, I stand... I walk... I live... The Show must go On.

10-4

WORK: Yauco, Sabana Grande, San German... fun and tiresome... Learned some Cisco router basics... Refreshed some others...

FAMILY: Quiet

FRIENDS: Missing in action

FEELINGS: Angry, blue, crappy, pissed... The usual?

Morning's hard coffee's cold
Pretending that the days mean more than getting old
Stale headlines others drenched in pride
Marching to their drum with fear standing beside
But if I close my eyes and throw back my head
I can see his face and I hear the words he said
And my memories ache and my senses burn
Did he dream too late will we ever learn

I, I want to testify
My love still lives and breathes
And my soul is screaming why
The thoughts won't let me sleep
Don't let hearts break
And don't let children cry
Before it gets too late
I want to testify

I take what's said as my daily bread
I turn the page and I turn my head
I pick I choose on the evening news
Cause by cause they fight and one by one they lose
Must I live my days in these concrete ways
Will the fire break through this smoky haze
And I swear tonight I'm gonna find that place
It's not the love that dies but the understanding ways

I, I want to testify
My love still lives and breathes
And my soul is screaming why
The thoughts won't let me sleep
Don't let hearts break
And don't let children cry
Before it gets too late
I want to testify

Rip through the wire that screens in my window
Throw open the shade that covers my mind
I'm going to touch I've got to believe
The bell tolls for me

I, I want to testify
My love still lives and breathes
And my soul is screaming why
The thoughts won't let me sleep
Don't let hearts break
And don't let children cry
Before it gets too late
I want to testify

-Melissa Etheridge, "Testify"

Es por culpa de una hembra
Que me estoy volviendo loco.
No puedo vivir sin ella,
Pero con ella tampoco.

Y si de éste mal de amores
Yo me fuera pa la tumba,
A mi no me mandéis flores
Que como dice esta rumba:

Quise cortar la flor
Más tierna del rosal,
Pensando que de amor
No me podría pinchar,
Y mientras me pinchaba
Me enseñó una cosa
Que una rosa es una rosa, es una rosa.

Y cuando abrí la mano
Y la deje caer
Rompieron a sangrar las llagas en mi piel
Y con sus pétalos
Me las curó mimosa
Que una rosa es una rosa, es una rosa.

Pero cuanto más me cura,
Al ratito más me escuece
Porque amar es el empiece
De la palabra AMARGURA.

Una mentira y un credo
Por cada espina del tallo,
Que injertándose en los dedos
Una rosa es un rosario.

Quise cortar la flor
Más tierna del rosal,
Pensando que de amor
No me podría pinchar,
Y mientras me pinchaba
Me enseñó una cosa
Que una rosa es una rosa, es una rosa.

Y cuando abrí la mano
Y la deje caer
Rompieron a sangrar las llagas en mi piel
Y con sus pétalos
Me las curó mimosa
Que una rosa es una rosa, es una rosa.

Una rosa, es una rosa es
Una rosa, es una rosa es.

Quise cortar la flor
Más tierna del rosal,
Pensando que de amor
No me podría pinchar,
Y mientras me pinchaba
Me enseñó una cosa
Que una rosa es una rosa, es una rosa.

Y cuando abrí la mano
Y la deje caer
Rompieron a sangrar las llagas en mi piel
Y con sus pétalos
Me las curó mimosa
Que una rosa es una rosa, es una rosa.

-Mecano, "Una Rosa es una Rosa"

Una noche de resaca
al tratar de despertar
noté que por el ombligo
me empezaba a desinflar...

Que mi cuerpo se arrugaba
como un papel vegetal
e iba pasando, qué curioso,
al estado gaseoso.

Y tras la metamorfosis
me sentí mucho mejor...
era un aire gris oscuro
y con bastante polución...
se notaba en cualquier caso
que era aire de ciudad
que si bien no es el más sano
lo prefiere el ser humano

Aire
soñé por un momento
que era aire
oxígeno, nitrógeno y argón
sin forma definida ni color
fui aire volador

Como yo soy muy consciente
hasta en esta situación
decidí ser consecuente
con mi nueva dimensión
y probé a ser respirado
por la que duerme a mi lado
sin entrar en pormenores
yo sé hacer cosas mejores

Como no me satizfizo
la experiencia sexual
se me inflaron los vapores
me convertí en huracán
di unas tres o cuatro vueltas
y a la quinta me cansé
este cuarto es muy pequeño
para las cosas que sueño

Aire
soñé por un momento que era aire
oxígeno, nitrógeno y argón
sin forma definida ni color
fui aire volador

Y lo siento por mi novia
y el cristal que me cargué
me escapé por la ventana
y en picado me lancé

Pero tuve mala suerte
y cuando iba a remontar
me volví otra vez humano
no faltéis al funeral.

Aire
soñé por un momento que era aire
oxígeno, nitrógeno y argón
sin forma definida ni color
fui aire volador

- Mecano, "Aire"

Que me gaste yo la vida devorando
Cada pensamiento tuyo,
cada paso

Que se borren tus lunares
y aparezcan en reemplazo
dibujados en tu cuerpo cada beso,
cada abrazo.

Y ahora que estas aqui,
yo de nuevo soy feliz
Pude entender que eras para mi.

Dejame quererte tanto,
que te seques con mi llanto
Que se nuble cada cielo
y que llueva hasta hacer charcos.

Dejame besarte tanto,
hasta que quedes sin aliento
Y abrazarte con tal fuerza
que te parta hasta los huesos.

Y ahora que estas aquí,
yo de nuevo soy feliz
Pude entender que eras para mi.

Quiero excederme,
perseguirte,
pretenderte,
Quiero amarte noche y dia
Quiero gastarme la vida.

Quiero amarrarte a mis - sesenta de cintura
llevarte como un tatuaje
quiero perder la cordura.

Quiero excederme,
perseguirte,
pretenderte,
Quiero amarte noche y dia
Quiero gastarme la vida.

Quiero amarrarte a mis - sesenta de cintura
llevarte como un tatuaje
quiero perder la cordura...

-Shakira, "Quiero"

Yesterday was a looooong day. Ended a loan (Yayyy!), and went on a small shopping spree. Got the grrrrreat lovely jacket I always wanted, velvet a furrrrrrr... Today went to see Trilogy, slept for a while and then got some chinese. Slow day, but heck, tomorrow starts working days, and I needed the rest...
Later kiddies...

10-4

Yesterday cleaned up and made a cloud mural in the bathroom. Went to get some celestial stuff in the afternoon with Trilogy as he briefly appeared in my house. That was cool. :) Later on, went with Groundel to get some goodies for the tummy and we hit jackpot... Wrong family order with LOTS of goodies!!! LOL You win some... :D

Went to San Juan today, business no pleasure. Had a reunion... It went ok, and one of the people got some pizza so lunch was served. Ahhhh, the driver left me at my home's gates... And here I am, tired and bored... Got some shoes at ebay, and browsing for some thinguies... Not much going on...

10-4