Dearly Beloved Groundelette:

Ok, so I just don’t want more bull on things, sue me for wanting peace and tranquility… I don’t expect slaves around me, but reciprocity. Translation: I pay light (which skyrocketted last month to 300 bucks…), phone, rent, food… I work until 4:30pm… If you are living your life for free and if you know that you are allowed room to live YOUR life then there is no space for complaints but playing Cinderella and keeping the boss happy. Well, this boss is not happy, and I have had enough. I gambled away my privacy in order to help you, but you follow stupid ideas on matters of whom your loyalty turns to in the end. Your interests demand you stick to your dearly beloved Mauro and family even knowing the use you for their own purposes. It is ironic you speak of not being MY slave, but you are THEIR slave even if their helping you is almost absent. You have a LONG way to learn what REAL friendship is for, and to choose the right people to be around… If you don’t like me or my ways, FUCK IT. But I am crystal clear in my ways and do not lie. Those you try to defend are mere pawns that shrouds themselves in appearances and lies.

Not caring what the world think? Honey, how NAIVE and BRATISH of you! Even when you do not give a fuck on what people think, sometimes you have to play your part in the big theater of LIFE to get what you need. Being mild and passive as you are will make you face many obstacles. You say you are sooooooo experienced and soooooo professional… No one calling you yet, right? Darling, when in Rome do as you are expected in Rome until you have the BELIEFS to truly stand for your own… But trying to gather beliefs to defend your so-called “dearly beloved” friends is uncalled for, and will get you nowhere.

So, since my advises are stupid for you, and since you believe I am not truly a good friend, I demand you take your things and go. Go get the help of those dearly beloved, I set free my personal slave. You have until Sunday to complete taking your things. I am tired of being bitten by the people I try to help. Go get thrashed by life on your own. You NEED the reality check. And by the way, honey, you are my size… so darling, you ARE fat like it or not.

And so concludes entries on Groundelette and Fabio, a big drama that simply sucks.

10-4

Took the day off to go get the car's inspection, make some deposits, check some stuff at the local mall, visit the post office, get a government loan and smile... all in one day... tiresome! Trilogy went with me on daylight so the dogs wouldn't bite me. ;P At night visited a chain store to gather needful stuff and food. Somewhere between the lines I was reminded that eating is part of life... :D I kinda forgot...

Where is Quevedo? The world may never know...

Changed some of the pics on the blog... Hopefully it makes more sense now...

Yesterday was a long day… I need sleep but can’t. After I went away from work I had to make various stops… bring some correspondence to my aunt, then take Groundel to his college, then go to Lucinda’s place to get my pills, then back to Groundel’s college, then grab something to eat on the way back because I was starving… then check some bids which I lose because they ended yesterday and wasn’t home… Grrr… Then FINALLY to bed at midnight… I’m still tired, waking up was not easy today. I was dreaming I was taking a class at my old college and I was arguing with a professor… LOL What an irony, I NEVER argued with them in reality… I think it was The Barbarian… Funny, that’s the absolutely LAST person to argue with, he may take out his two-handed sword and wack your pretty head anytime! Ok… so woke up with a smile in my face (nothing as good as a grrrrrrreat fight even if fake, before breakfast! So I am Aries, and I absolutely fall head over heels for ARES will, sue me! Maybe I should have enlisted in the ARMY or something, I am always planning strategies and seems the art of WAR comes easily to me… Another irony, since I believe so much in the “make Love not War” slogan… Ah, always little bi-polar me…LOL)

Been pretty bored at work… Not much to do… So I’ve been organizing my laptop and getting rid of junk… I also started making some subtle changes in my A&T site, and am building a site dedicated to little old homeland… I am building it as a separate site from the A&T, but it should be linked from there… Want to accomplish this little project… Basically, I should try to travel to a different town or city each weekend so I get pictures of that citie’s main places, parks or historical landmarks, cultural or fun places… Of course, I will begin with the Western area, leaving the rest of the island for later… I think that the West side is always left on the side when it comes to talking about PR in matters of all the attractions it has. So I want to find out each town’s little secrets and let the whole world know about it. My main interest is pictorial, but I’ll try including basic historical highlights, the town’s banner or shield, and the important people born in them… For educational purposes, so any outlander or highlander may experience what it’s like to live in this island and actually see we have NO TRIBES in here (sorry, but seems that people all over the world believe we wear tattered rags that covers just the basics and that we go around being hunting savages or something…), that we are pioneers in TECHNOLOGY (yup, small island has the BIGGEST radiotelescope of the WORLD plus many technologically specialized industries for the pharmaceutical and computer areas), and that our greatest asset is our PEOPLE (most puertoricans have studied, are professionals, are bilingual, and are not as STUPID as the world may think). Of course, outside the educative purpose I want a pictorial guide that any tourist will find appealing. And all this I’ll do for free just because it’s fun… it’s a personal project, a hobby… I want to rediscover my homeland in a way I have not seen it before… Gosh, all this patriotism is making me nauseous! LOL

Hmmm, as a last thought on this matter… It would be fun if Coriolis joined me, after all he bought this amazing and expensive camera to visit the outdoors and he still has not accomplish that idea! Well… not his fault, he’s a corporate slave… But hey, when you decide to have a life, contact me! ;) Maybe we could build this site together, that should be fun.

From what I’ve read Joe’s had used his powers once more and had send a giant lightning bolt towards J… Well, not news really, but she deserves it. I would understand her attitude better if her past relationships had been so meaningful, but they were NOT, so her attitude was appalling. Viewing how he is, I am glad he still talks to me… He hates my guts in many aspects of who I am, but somehow he managed to view me as worth “salvaging”… not letting my ship sink into the never-ending depths of the ocean… I see some parallel lines between J and me in matters of keeping our past in the present, but the differences come from the small detail that I’ve been with my loves for more than 8 years each… I have whole lifetimes to think of, to balance, to grieve for, to try… She had a handful of smoke… Just a thought that popped in my mind… Joe was pretty bipolar with me, but I was pretty bipolar with him… LOL All in all, I’m glad he’s still around to give me a few laughts and some of his completely harsh reality checks on life… Brutally honest yet one of the most thoughtful persons I have met. Somehow I always have this mental image of him waiting in a port, and this blurred gal running towards him, embracing him forever. I think THAT is the one for him, and will always be. Who knows, the world gives many turns, and we ain’t so far from England after all… That would be one of his greatest dreams come true… Ah, why women must be so… complicated… leaning towards stupid? We have our Greatest Love in front of us, and it is when it is lost that we decide to reach for him… And most of the times, that never happens… Depressing, but true.

Out of that bubble, into Disney’s realm… Watched Cinderella last night (for the first time… yup, knew the story, had the LP, knew the songs, just had never seen the actual friggin movie…ok?). So Disney makes all rats alike, all cats alike, all birds alike, all evil ladies with the same face and even hairdo… LOL At least now I can see Shrek again and TRULY understand the jokes that were funny anyway… ;P I’m very into Cheshire Cat, I completely feel attuned with him! Sad it is so hard to get stuff with him on the cover… Anyhow, at least Emily Strange and superhero stuff makes up for the lack of Cheshire around us… :D

Well, I’m supposed to go get Trilogy after work, to take him to the mall to get some needful things for his school… Being with no TV and no internet has been good for him… His feeding his brain feels almost as if he had an expansion chip in his head. LOL Well, it is interesting that now he says he doesn’t believe in ghosts or anything from “afterlife” or religions of any kind… He now thinks that even psychic powers are not real… Well, have to disagree with those thoughts… We have only explored 15% of the human mind, and tha means there’s 85% of misterious forces that any human can develop and actually use. The matter about the afterlife is a bit empty, as I see it it would be completely senseless to believe that you die and that’s it. Plus plain boring. LOL Where’s the opportunity to achieve perfection? Because perfection cannot be reached through one lifetime. It is a process of gathering knowledge and actions throughout years and years, throughout different eras and situations… It doesn’t matter if the belief should be called reincarnation, or just having multiples sides of you at the same time in different universes, or just keeping the concept of Heaven or Hell or Limbo… The important outcome is CHANGE, never-ending transformation that leads towards the perfection which I see as the use of the mind at its 100%… which leads to the seen everything, been everywhere… which leads towards MORE creation… If there were no God, then you would absolutely HAVE to believe that a higher entity with a 100% of capacities and abilities and dreams and actions and achievements BECOMES god and begins another stage of creation on its own… What matters is not the belief in God but the belief in PERFECTION that should be the model for any human behavior. Personally, I believe in God, I believe in His making humans at his own image. Meaning humans have the capacity to become gods as well, if we reach PERFECTION. Meaning creation is endless. And while humans walk towards that goal so very slowly, God keeps on creating other universes and allowing knowledge and guidance and comfort and love to help us as tools towards perfection. If I am insane on believing this, so be it. Believing in no religion is a way of walking backwards… in reality EVERY religion is right. Every religion was born due to certain circunstances in certain historical periods… And all have one main goal: PERFECTION of the soul. The praise of the perfect being God can turn many ways, as we are praising ourself in a perfect stage. And that is not bad, that is great. Different people need different ways of tapping into their self-realization, religion is learned based on where you are born… and then based on what you learn and feel and assimilate and believe… But it all has the same end. And no matter the roads, the end is BEAUTY. And God should be pleased with that.

Ok… I guess that was the deep thought of the week… To be or NOT to be… That is the constant question, the constant choice we have, the constant decision we take… I think we should always be… The world would be a better place if everyone could be…

Next! Back to ranting… LOL Well, Groundel keeps on being as pissed as I am with Groundelette… I am mad because of what she does not do, he is mad because of what she does not ask or let him know. Seems that she and mother keeps their own webspinning of plans and events, and then get shocked when they hear what Groundel plans… sort of… I keep seeing a line there, the divisory line of him being the “laddy that solves things in a hurry when there’s no other choice”, instead of him being treated as a true flesh and blood real brother/son… That has always bothered me, but somehow it’s a matter that feels stingy and stinky on the present. They lack on the “planning things so nothing goes wrong” stage. Groundelette gave absolutely NO follow-up to the matter of the housing places… she has no job still… and if her mother comes to this forsaken island she will loose wellfare and other health benefits and so will only depend on her hubby for support and her hubby earns only a very small amount fron the SS… soooo… Groundelette is supposed to take over on that, if her mom comes here she will have to take care of medical expenses and medicines… and she doesn’t even have a health plan to cover anything… which translates to BIG PROBLEMS if her mom or dad get sick… She was supposed to get a job to get a place so she could also take care of her family issues… but that all faded away because of the giant spell we should call “ever-exhisting Fabio and his clan”. She follows orders, only if very pressed, and still takes no charge of her destiny. She goes to school and she loved it… duh, pretty boys to meet, time to kill, Fabio and clan to meet afterwards… Ah, a life full of oportunities and she takes the ones that gives her NOTHING in return! Instead of taking those opportunities she runs from them. Student counseling gives students tools for getting a job, actually they have a placement section BUT… nothing… And while she keeps on just fllowing pretty boys and Fabio and his clan, she keeps wasting valuable time she should “waste” on jobhunting. She needs to get an attitude, get the proper image, go ask for a job in the right places and give follow-up… She makes no phone calls to any industry… Oh, but she calls her girlfriends or Fabio or her mom everyday… That’s deep jobhunting… Yeah, in five years maybe McD’s will call her… Who knows… Her shyness has been the greatest excuse to do nothing. She is not shy. That’s bull. And her “child-like speech” will also get her nowhere because it helps feed the “this girl has problems” image. She seems not to realize that what she do trying to be playful and cute (or maybe a really lame act of getting attention) has many bad feedback from the people around her. I’ve been asked if she has mental problems, what’s her condition, if she’s “special”, if she has problems… My insisting on her trying to change her behavior and the way she handles herself in public and the way she “sells” herself has COMPLETELY failed. It has been 3 complete months that she has been in my apartment, and no change whatsoever in her attitude or actions. I thought she was outgoing, I though she had real experience working… Fro someone who worked in Victoria’s Secret and in a supermarket she shows she knows nothing of handling customers, handling people, handling her image, handling herself… People treat you as YOU let them treat you, as you let them believe you are. And sadly, here in my hometown that has many many exponential variables… Maybe if she were in Carolina or SanJuan she would not have so many problems, but HERE of all places you MUST sell yourself RIGHT or you will get nowhere.

Three months of preeching her, and she still doesn’t get it. I thought that by watching she would learn, but that has failed too. I am very myself anywhere, everywhere, bitchy, commanding… but I follow the codes I must follow at work. I am assertive and I know that every place requires a different behavior (outside of your own beliefs). I can go out there and get myself any simple job because I look at people in the eye, I know what to say, when to say it, how to give the bait, how to reap the harvest… Although my sentimental life is most of the time sucky, my professional life is good, stable… not peachy but I do have a constant income, I do my job and I do it well. I say what I must if I know I am right, anytime… But I do take care on the words I choose. All she has seen from me is fashion tips and sojourns… She has this “trying to be goth” thing that I really hate because SHE IS NOT GOTH. She doesn’t see beauty in darkness, she doesn’t like the music, she doesn’t like deep thinking, she is very into happy, sparkly, pink bunny fields, she always puts the little girl voice, and I think she just wears black so she thinks she doesn’t look fat because in reality the worst color she can choose for herself taking her looks and skin color… is black… Ah, people! Anyway… Being Goth is a matter of beliefs and lifestyle, not looks. Guess that’s too deep for most people’s understanding…

Out to luch, hungerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

10-4

If I hear one more scream either from PNP or PPD I am gonna flip!!! Helloooooo!!! The funny thing is that the ones creating the mayhem are the non-voters, the kids that cannot go mark with a big X... Fortunately (or unfortunately, depends on perspective) there have been no physical accidents... yup, belief accidents and stupidity are accidents of everyday in or damned paradise island...

Finally got my medication, so no more blurredness in my sight... LOL Only the happy pills left to get... Hopefully I will pay a visit to Lucinda tomorrow night to get them... They are really expensive! Yikes!!! But they are a necessary evil for me, for now... Medicated necessary evil, thank you! Hmph!

Paid a visit to Trilogy today. Since I was in thinking mode due to the lack of happy pills for the last 3 days I kinda was gloomy and doomy... I have so many questions unanswered... I have so many ghosts and doubts... Better to be blindfolded and gaged... I do know that the last couple of weeks have been almost perfect, and that must count for something... He has issues, I have issues... So, until the issues get solved this is the best we can do... not a bad thing, really... It is funny that we are actually dating... we never dated... ;P Maybe that's were the getting to know some facts take life... It is a good change that we are giving each other a position we kinda never did before... I just wish that there were flips and fireworks and special effects that showed and convinced me flawlessly that he is true in all his words and actions... But I do know that convincing me will take a long while, lots of effort and plenty of patience... Hope he thinks we are worth it... Hope he gains my faith in him... Hope he gets out of the shell and into action, grasping a life he left uncontious for so many years now... Only time will tell...

Was in a beyond ogre mood during the morning... I still cannot use my spells to make the broom and the mop due the work by themselves, and the little princess (who is the only who doesn't work and has 70% free time in her life) just sleeps, go "study"(more like goes to check out the cute guys at school), keeps following Fabio's ass, and only do things when you actually point them out to her in a mean way... I am kind and polite, but don't get me on ogre mood BECAUSE it is CERTAIN you will not like the consequences. I hold grudges for long, especially when I see that things are NOT right. Responsability is a word of many deep meanings, and it's about time the little princess LEARNS it. This is the REAL world. Here you must DO things for yourself, you must EARN what you have (be it money or just plain RESPECT). Being with that asswipe of Fabio daily is a definitive no-no... I don't get it, why go to the effort of doing the right thing when she just doesn't give a damn fuck about it? Heck, if I had known she was gonna go to Fabios home EVERYDAY afterschool, and weekends, until sometime in the night, I would not have told her to stay at my home because it is kinda STUPID. Since the guy is gonna be your personal driver and everything, heck, go live with him! You have demonstrated so far you have no self-respect, no true self-esteem, no love for your self, no dignity, and a very skewed sense of right and wrong. Ah, yeah, the niuyorican look doesn't help any case either... I try to shed some light on things, but sometimes it seems there is a dimentional gap that just won't allow it...And I am not alone in these thoughts, her brother agrees. That's one reason besides the arguments with me that has made him so mad lately. We are both getting tired of her shit. If Fabio and pretty boys is all she wants, maybe it is all she's gotta get... 5ta enmienda...

Roxie ventured out of the bathroom, and has stayed underneath the bed the whole day... I guess she was feeling lonely and forgotten... Now at least she hears and sees voices and people... :)

Groundel helped me clean-up the place. He also made a super-delicious berry shake, old Fruizzle style... :) Great way to close Elections Day... ;) He has been helpful and thoughtful all these days. I know it is hard for him to try being nice at least, so kudos to that. Of course, he's playing non-stop... Some things never change...

Feeling... a bit blue, a bit pink, lots of yellow-bricked-roads... But as Gloria Gaynor said "I will survive".

10-4

I try to think about rainbows
When it gets bad
You got to think about something
To keep from going mad
I try to think about big fat roses
When the ship starts going down
But my head is wicked jealous
Don't want to talk about it right now

Long distance
Don't talk about ex-girlfriends
Don't talk about you with out me
Don't talk about your past

In my head
It's only in my head
In my head
It's only in my head

There's just something about you
That gets me in a twist
And sometimes I think
That cupid is just taking the piss
It only takes one word or idea
To send me in real deep
So if you think you're clever
Use the right words when you talk to me

Long distance
Don't talk about ex-girlfriends
Don't talk about you with out me
Don't talk about your past

In my head
It's only in my head
In my head
It's only in my head

I really think I have a problem
I really can't control myself
Why do I get so suspicious?
Do you want someone else?

Cause everybody wants everybody else
Everybody wants everybody else
Everybody wants everybody else

Only in my head...
It's only my head

In my head
It's only in my head
In my head
It's only in my head

Long distance
Don't talk about ex-girlfriends
Don't talk about you with out me
Don't talk about your past

Lets talk about the future
Lets talk about the wedding
Lets talk about Gwen Stefani
Let's talk about how much you like me
And all that

In my head
It's only in my head
In my head
It's only in my head
-NoDoubt, "In my head"

"Another day, another moment that fades away... another minute in which thoughts of you blow my mind away..."

Work... Got there, and five minutes later I already wish I could resign... It is plain simple I am going nowhere in that place, and people just take me for granted on everything... They just wish to step all over those they consider a threat, I know that's the law of the jungle but hey, it's not my fault I am good at what I do... I do my job, and try to go beyond simply doing it... I see my users as "clients" and it is frustrating to me when I cannot deliver excellent service because of another guy's fault... And then I get a speech on how little the big puppeteers let us small rodents know about the Big Plans... Hah! Right... So they want me to think small... I guess I must start acting and thinking small to make them happy... I won't be the one with the consequences, but the users... and consequently the customers... But hey, who cares! Gotta dance at the drummer's beat! One more year...

Watched Snow White for the first time... do not laugh please, thank you... Loved it. Those early Disney movies where raw, full of emotion and definitively not so pink... LOL The only question is: Why is there a golden castle in the clouds at the ending? Did they die at some point? Hmmm...

Then watched Interview with the Vampire for the twenty-something time... the making of... the directors commentary... Ahhhhhh, nothing like giving in to the decadence and moral lessons of Anne Rice... Gimme more, gimme more! :D It would have been so beautiful if they had made the movies as sequels... the Queen of the Damned was such a crappy attempt to keep the legacy... Hopefully someday not so far away the same director and actors and even Anne will show up with decent movie scripts... I know... Wishful thinking...

Lucinda appeared to leave me a doctors prescription and to check out some bids... Another happy e-bayer... Sniff, sniff... Coriolis called but kept it short because I was REALLY hungry and Groundel had already bought food. Dig-in time! Yummy! And Groundelette appeared with an ugly dress almost at 10pm... LOL Her garments got wet and she had to borrow a dress from Fabio's mom... Ugh! I guess it's all for the sake of inhuman eyes... Whatever...

I feel at peace, and walking in the clouds at times... Hmmm... Crazy thing called love... Couldn't see Trilogy today, hopefully will see him tomorrow... if things do not get out of hand on Elections Day...

10-4

Every time I look into your lovely eyes
I see a love that money, just can't buy
One look, from you, I drift, away
I pray, that you, are here, to stay

Anything you want, you got it
Anything you need, you got it
Anything at all, you got it
Baby

Everytime I hold you, I begin to understand
Everything about you, tells me you are my man
I live, (I live) my life, (my life) to be, (to be) with you (with you)
No one, (no one) can do, (can do) the things, (the things) you do (you do)

Anything you want, you got it
Anything you need, you got it
Anything at all, you got it
Baby

Anything you want
Anything you need
Anything at all... Babe

Whoa yeah babe

I'm glad, (I'm glad) to give, (to give) my love, (my love) to you (to you)
I know, (I know) you feel, (you feel) the way, (the way) I do (I do)

Anything you want, you got it
Anything you need, you got it
Anything at all, you got it
Baby

Anything, anything you want baby
Anything you need
Anything at all
Anything at all
Baby, you got it

-Bonnie Raitt, "You got it"
XOXO :)

HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN!
Well, woke up by midday, and got all dressed up as a vampyre fighter-mage. Since Groundel had no disguise, painted his face so he looked pretty much dead. I painted my chest-scar as if it had been bitten, as well as a bit of blood coming from my mouth. It was all just for the fun of the day. We couldn't do much due to rain and the political havoks... Sooooo I just went to my aunt's place and stayed watching a movie. Afterwards visited Trilogy for some trick-or-treating and then off home... I start working tomorrow, so I need to have a good night's sleep, or so. Whatever...

10-4

I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life

Too late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I can't find the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way I feel
Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm
But these cuts I have they need love to help them heal

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

-Elton John, "Don't let the sun get down on me"
To the ones I love beyond life and death...

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make u feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shinin' through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all ya can bear
You can call me up
Because u no I'll be there

And I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

I can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
True colors are shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
-Cyndi Lauper, "True Colors"
To Joe, Zordak, Lucinda and Coriolis

H
ello? - Remember me? - Who's there? - I got your number!
oh no no! - I'm back to haunt you! - No stay away!

It's Friday night so creepy outside
It's thundering and lightning
there's nobody home cuz I'm all alone
it's scary and it's frightening

The sound of shoes
a shadow that moves
something odd is tic-tac-ticking
someone's in here I'm so full of fear
the telephone is ringing!

Now I can see you - Oh no please no
Now I can touch you - Oh god please don't
I'm right here now - Oh please tell me where
hahahahahaha - I'm in a nightmare
you better run I'm back to hunt you down

Halloween in the dead of the night hear me scream
I'm coming, I'm coming
Halloween is the fear that I fight in my dreams
Keep running, Keep running

Just keep running, oh keep on running girl, just keep running

Hell broke out this Friday night zombies passing deadly
my candyman from bounty land is coming here to get me!

Now I can see you - Oh no please no
Now I can touch you - Oh god please don't
I'm right here now - Oh please tell me where
hahahahahaha - I'm in a nightmare
you better run I'm back to hunt you down

Halloween in the dead of the night hear me scream
I'm coming I'm coming
Halloween is the fear that I fight in my dreams
Keep running Keep running

Just keep running, keep on running girl, just keep running

Squeaking and Creaking I move silent in the night hahaha
could be the boy next door you'll never guess my disguise
Chains and children fight
bloodshed and candlelight
You might be the fearsome one at junoir high tonight!

Halloween in the dead of the night hear me scream
I'm coming I'm coming
Halloween is the fear that I fight in my dreams
Keep running Keep running

Halloweeennnn

Just keep running, oh keep on running girl, just keep running

(Scream)
-Aqua, "Halloween"
Well, somehow this shoe fits... LOL

With the fire from the fireworks up above me
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain at hand
You run for cover in the temple of love
You run for another but still the same
For the wind will blow my name across this land

In the temple of love you hide together
Believing pain and fear outside
But someone near you rides the weather
And the tears he cried will rain on walls
As wide as lovers eyes

In the temple of love: Shine like thunder
In the temple of love: Cry like rain
In the temple of love: Hear my calling
In the temple of love: Hear my name

And the devil in black dress watches over
My guardian angel walks away
Life is short and love is always over in the morning
Black wind come carry me far away

With the sunlight died and night above me
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain inside

You run for cover in the temple of love
You run for another it's all the same
For the wind will blow and throw your walls aside
With the fire from the fireworks up above
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain

You run for cover in the temple of love
I shine like thunder cry like rain
And the temple grows old and strong
But the wind blows longer cold and long
And the temple of love will fall before
This black wind calls my name to you no more

In the black sky thunder sweeping
Underground and over water
Sounds of crying weeping will not save
Your faith for bricks and dreams for mortar
All your prayers must seem as nothing
Ninety-six below the wave
When stone is dust and only air remains

In the temple of love: Shine like thunder
In the temple of love: Cry like rain
In the temple of love: Hear the calling
And the temple of love is falling
Down

In the temple of love: Shine like thunder
In the temple of love: Cry like rain
In the temple of love: Hear my calling
In the temple of love: Hear my name

In the black sky thunder sweeping
Underground and over water
Sounds of crying weeping will not save
Your faith for bricks and dreams for mortar
All your prayers must seem as nothing
Ninety-six below the wave
When stone is dust and only air remains
the only haven you can trust

And the devil in black dress watches over
My guardian angel walks away
Life is short and love is always over in the morning
Black wind come carry me far away

With the fire from the fireworks up above
With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain you

You run for cover in the temple of love
I shine like thunder cry like rain
And the temple grows old and strong
But the wind blows longer cold and long
And the temple of love will fall before
This black wind calls my name to you no more

In the temple of love you hide together
Believing pain and fear outside
But someone near you rides the weather
And the tears he cried will rain on walls
As wide as lovers eyes

In the temple of love: Shine like thunder
In the temple of love: Cry like rain
In the temple of love: Hear the calling
And the temple of love is falling
Down

-Sisters of Mercy, "Temple of Love"
To close this show... It kinda sums up how I feel... In a nice way...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, KIDDIES!
10-4

Went with Lucinda to walk around el pueblo and get some stuff she needed for Einstein. I got two ponchos at bargain price, another deal... I am now officially a deal-buster... LOL

Could not see Trilogy on Fri and Sat, have been mostly hibernating and playing around with some software... Today tried to visit el Calvo but my bright idea took me into a caravana Popular, then into a caravana PNP... and reaching my hometown again another caravana Popular... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Groundel feeling bothered by external circunstances, and I understand... I am bothered too... Hopefully things will change soon...

Trilogy went partying last night, but the party was not as good as expected... LOL Oh, well... Asked him why he did not invite me and he said because they went late to Aguadilla... He thinks I follow Burbujita's advice and go to sleep at 9-10pm on a Friday night... Helloooooooo? Fri and Sat are the only days I can actually stay up late because I have no work afterwards, and I do browse the net until the wee hours of the morning... the other days are off limits because I work, you know? Ah, sometimes explaining the logical things takes patience, sometimes I don't get WHY I must explain the basics... Whatever... His friends were playing tonight too, but seemed he was in no mood to go out...

And I was in no mood to go anywhere either, especially after the thing with the caravanas... Grrrrrr... Estoy loca por que llegue ya el próximo viernes, damnit! I absolutely HATE elections time!

The Chicago dvd arrived today, so the afternoon was a bit entertaining. Not much to add...

Off to never-never land...

Today… Well, mostly I just paid some bills, checked the PO and spent some time with Trilogy. There was a costume contest at his school, and of course he got dressed for the occasion… Took a pic of him in his Possessed Mickey the Mage attire, which I posted in my fotolog. That was weird… LOL But I cannot expect any less of him… One day without arguing! Wow! Ok, so there was a full moon, maybe THAT was the reason why… Weird things happen during a full moon… ;) Anyway… Finally got the black shimmery glossy cape I wanted for Halloween. This year I’ll celebrate and go Trick-or-Treating… Letting the kid out to have some fun, after all it is my last day of vacation! :P I hope Coriolis make it to my hometown so we can have a nice game on Sat and/or Sun. Been watching Xena’s season 4, had to buy a remote for the one the dvd had was damaged by my children… Whatever…

About life, feelings and more...

Groundel… Even though he has difficulty controlling his temper, he has been very nice and thoughtful with me so I must give him credit for that. He likes seeing me smiling and happy, and I guess that’s good in a sense… I take for granted many things that he do for me… and it’s not that I do not notice, it’s more that I’m a pampered bitch that thinks everyone must serve me without hesitation just because I’m a goddess… Well, no… Groundel, thank you for the little things you do EVERYDAY no matter if you are angry or sad or tired or pissed at me. You have always been one of my best friends, a good companion and confident… Although we have VERY different ways of seeing things, I am here to bring some light to your shadows, to guide your path and to help you be your BEST. Thank you for your patience and even for your silence… You mean a lot to me.

Coriolis is still in the getting a house and an apartment mode… Hope things work out, in the best interest of both? LOL

Trilogy… Seems to be more thoughtful and focused… Although he can be the epitome of sarcasm, he can still make me smile just because. And that's good. We are not arguing so heatedly lately, and it seems an air of understanding is around… I will try not to jinx it, but heck… It is VERY nice to have him around in my life once more… Time can only tell if our friendship can still blossom, and if anything else should come out of it… Love... Oh, yes... But with the eyes open this time... We'll see... He still hesitates to have me with his friends, and that bothers me. There's still much he has to learn about me... There's time. Everything shall fall into its right place in the end.

Right now I know I cannot be a priority in Trilogy’s life because his priority should be studying. It is the same with Groundel… When they both finish that task, then, and only then, can I start believing in being a priority for either… So, another year must pass… And truth shall be revealed… And time will dance the Last Dance for one and the Forever Dance with the other… Right now I have no outcome, I have no clue on what will happen… I am just enjoying their presence, and watching and learning… I must let them be by themselves so they can grow on their own… I can only be there to witness their growth and their beauty, to give a breath of encouragement and to get my own proof of things… And while they do their own thing, I’ll do mine. I have many plans that need attention, and so they will once again surface… I have myself as center of my life, and from there I am to make my own growth… I believe it is a necessary evil, after all. I must be my own so I can really be someone’s. That’s simple, isn’t it?

I am to watch. I am to learn. I am to grow. I am to bloom. No more stalement, the season changed swiftly towards the greatest season: the season to reap my Self.

10-4

Ok, so I'm feeling romantic today, sue me for that! :D

Let's see... what have I done in these last couple of days? Hmmm... I dyed my hair a light reddish-orangy-pinky colour... Getting used to it. Besides that, I've been hibernating in my house, putting things in order and daydreaming a bit for a change. I'm feeling pink and happy... no happy bunny, thank you. Trilogy has been around, Groundel is not so grumpy and life seems beautiful. Ok... Who abducted me? LOL

10-4

Tus ojos, claro de monte,
como guitarras trovadoras, de San juan
Tus ojos, son mi suplicio
son mi perdon, mi redencion, me despertar

Tus ojos que me arrebata,
son mi locura, son la plena perdicion
tu ojos lo tienen todo
nada me falta porque son mi bendicion

Tus ojos que tienen mi ausencia
como dulce y fresco sereno de mar
tus ojos son mi equilibrio
son mi libertad
mirame, dame fuerza y alivio
mirame, es lo que necesito
mirame, para tenerlo todo,
solo basta quedarme, fundida en tus ojos

Tus ojos, dulce esperanza
remedio y caliz de ese sorbo de tu amor
tus ojos, son mi suplicio
son mi perdon, mi redencion, mi despertar

Tus ojos me llenan el alma
no hay otra riqueza no tengo temor
tus ojos dulces benditos,
son mi devocion

mirame, que es la paz tu mirada
mirame, que mi dicha no alcanza
mirame, que la luz y la calma
que me brindan tus ojos, tranquilizan mi alma

-Gloria Estefan, "Tus ojos"

El amor es un rayo de luz indirecta
una gota de paz,una fe que despierta,
un sumbido en el aira,un punto en la niebla
un perfil,una sombra,una pausa,una espera.

El amor es un suave rumor que se acerca
un timbre a lo lejos,una brisa ligera,una voz en la calma,
un aroma de menta,un despues,un quizas,una vez,una meta.

El amor va brotando entre el aire y el suelo,
y se palpa y se siente y hay quien pueda verlo
y hace que te despiertes y pienses en el
y te llama despacio rozando tu piel.

El amor te hipnotiza,te hace soñar
y sueñas y cedes y te dejas llevar
y te mueve por dentro y te hace ser mas
y te empuja y te puede y te lleva detras.

Y de pronto te alza,te lanza,te quema
hace luz en tu alma,hace fuego en tus venas
y te hace gritar el sentir que te quemas
te disuelve,te evapora,te destruye,te crea.

Y te hace viajar en el filo del tiempo
remontando los siglos de mil universos
y te lleva a la gloria y te entrega a la tierra
y te mira y te ve y piensa y piensa.

Y de pronto el amor es la luz de una llama,
que se empieza a apagar... y se va... y se apaga
es la isla pequeña perdida en la niebla
una gota,un no se,una mancha una mueca

El amor va bajando peldaño a peldaño
con las manos cerradas y el paso cansado
te pregunta quién eres para hacerte saber
que apenas te conoce que ¿qué quieres de él?

El amor te hace burla,se rie de tí
mientras tú sigues quieto, sin saber que decir
y deseas seguirle y decirle que no
que se quede que vuelva que cometa un error

Y el amor desbarata tus grandes ideas,
te destroza te rompe te parte te quiebra
y te hace ser ese que tu no quisieras
y te empuja a ser malo y te deja hecho MIERDA.

Y te arroja de bruces al ultimo infierno
arrancándote el alma,pisándote el cuerpo
y ahogas de ancias de volver a la nada
y de pronto se para... y te ve
y se apiada...

-Yolandita Monge, "El amor"

Todos quieren que me aleje de el
que es de lo peor y no me quiere bien.
Dicen que me envuelve el cerebro
con el fin de enredarse en mi cuerpo.
Debo confesar que cuando el me besa
el mundo da vueltas dentro de mi cabeza
cierro los ojos y siento su aliento
mi sangre quema cualquier pensamiento
y le creo le creo le creo

Le creo cuando dice te quiero
Le creo que su amor sera eterno
Le creo que el es hombre mas bueno
Le creo que la luna es de queso
y si el me diera otro beso
que mas da si me miente
yo le creo

Con los ojos cerrados yo ire tras de el
con los ojos cerrados siempre lo amare
con los ojos cerrados yo confio en el
con los ojos cerrados yo le quiero creer

Con los ojos cerrados ire tras de el
con los ojos cerrados siempre lo amare
con los ojos cerrados yo confio en el
con los ojos cerrados yo le quiero creer
le voy a creer

Ellos dicen que yo no puedo ver
que el amor me ciega cuando estoy con el
no me fijo que no tiene dinero
dicen que el es malo y yo soy su juego

Debo confesar que cuando el me besa
el mundo da vueltas dentro de mi cabeza
cierro los ojos y siento su aliento
mi sangre quema cualquier pensamiento
y le creo le creo le creo

Le creo cuando dice te quiero
Le creo que su amor sera eterno
Le creo que el es hombre mas bueno
Le creo que la luna es de queso
y si el me diera otro beso
que mas da si me miente
yo le creo

Con los ojos cerrados ire tras de el
con los ojos cerrados siempre lo amare
con los ojos cerrados yo confio en el
con los ojos cerrados yo le quiero creer

Con los ojos cerrados ire tras de el
con los ojos cerrados siempre lo amare
con los ojos cerrados yo confio en el
con los ojos cerrados yo le quiero creer
le voy a creer

con los ojos cerrados
con los ojos cerrados

-Gloria Trevi, "Con los ojos cerrados"

Por cruzarme la calle
tuve ya un accidente
y es que no soy cobarde:
voy por la acera de enfrente.
Yo si tengo coraje
y soy muy diferente,
la que quiera atreverse:
que cruce conmigo aqui enfrente

CORO

Que caminen por ahi: las fresas
que caminen por ahi: las ''cuerdas''
que caminen por ahi: las ''feas''
que caminen por ahi: las mensas
que caminen por ahi: barberas y burguesas por ahi
que caminen

que caminen por ahi: las amargadas
que caminen por ahi: las apretadas
que caminen por ahi: las matadas
que caminen por ahi: las aguadas
que caminen por ahi: las castas y calladas por ahi
que caminen

A la que le quede el saco
de lo que he mencionado
siga caminando
del lado equivocado.
Pero todas las fuertes
y las inteligentes
vénganse conmigo
a la banqueta de enfrente.

CORO

Que caminen por ahi: las ''drogas''
que caminen por ahi: ias codas
que caminen por ahi: las tontas
que caminen por ahi: ias ''monjas''
que caminen por ahi: las que hacen la carroña por ahi
que caminen

que caminen por ahi: las tibias
que caminen por ahi: las consentidas
que caminen por ahi: las adictas
que caminen por ahi: las creidas
que caminen por ahi: las frias y santitas por ahi
por ahi que caminen
que caminen por ahi, si
yo por la acera de enfrente
que caminen por ahi si
o por la acera de enfrente!
o camino por aqui si
aqui es la acera de enfrente!

Yo camino por aqui, si
aqui es la acera de enfrente!

-Gloria Trevi, "La acera de enfrente"

Toda la vida coleccionado mil amores
haciendo juegos malabares
Para no amarte en exclusiva.

Toda la vida poniendo trampas al orgullo
tantas historias como estrellas
para no ser esclavo tuyo
Para obtener mi propia música.

Toda la vida descubriendo puertas a escondidas
para escapar de tus heridas
para buscar la aventuras que me liberen de tus besos
Solo por eso, solo por eso.

Toda la vida para olvídate
para perderte y recupérate
y no dormirme en tus sentidos
como un idiota enamorado desmadejado
Aburrido que se conforma.

Toda la vida marcando números secretos
mandando cartas a escondidas
haciendo citas indiscretas
Como un romántico suicida, un suicidas.

Toda la vida sabiendo siempre que me esperas
siempre segura de ti misma
siempre mujer siempre perfecta
y yo buscando mi otra música, mi propia música,
en me música aaah.

Toda la vida pensando siempre en tu egoísmo
y por no ser esclavo tuyo
Soy el esclavo de mi mismo.

Toda la vida tirando amor por por todos lados
dejando beso enganchados
en cada nueva despedida
Y tu al final la mas querida.

Toda la vida.....
Toda la vida.....
Toda La Vida
Toda La Vida

-Emmanuel, "Toda la Vida"

Yup, bored like hell. It has been a long day because it has been SLOW. Watched Spider-Man twice, watched a Xena episode, went to get some stuff for the kitties... took Groundel to the doctor, finally talked to Lucinda... Overall sleepy... Wanted to get a webbed cape or glittery cape for Halloween but it is still too expensive... So, that idea is off-limits until Sat perhaps... Tomorrow will do my hair roots, will get another shade of red (more orangy). That's about all the stirs left for the last week of vacation time... Ah, hopefully the weekend will look-up a bit...

10-4

You came from the darkness. Non-trusting, you most
likely will spend most of your life alone.


Where did you come from?
brought to you by Quizilla



You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla



Your anime hair color is white.


What is your anime hair color?
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You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are most like Raven. Quiet and usually soft
spoken, you don't like crowds and can be
slightly gothic. You try to repress your
emotions for one reason or another but one of
your most powerful emotions is your anger. Your
temper sometimes gets the best of you and when
that happens those in your way would wish they
weren't. You seem somewhat creepy to others and
you earn a few odd stares but who cares? You
aren't an outdoors person and avoid venturing
outside when you can. You are generally the
smart one and maybe not by trying to, the most
cynical and sarcastic of the bunch which can be
good or bad. You don't like anyone invading
your privacy and you don't seem to be all that
social. But for what it's worth you can be
quite handy in a tough situation. You are drawn
to the darkness or night most of the time. You
appear mysterious and/or potentially dangerous
at times and not everyone trusts you right
away.


Which Teen Titans Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


I'm depressed


why is YOUR livejournal annoying?
brought to you by Quizilla


You're Bettie Page!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ok, so THESE have been BUSY days! Some action, FINALLY! LOL ;)

Friday: The day started with the dilemma of a deposit that I made and that was not showing in my bank account… In the end it did show, and although I thought I was late for doing all I wanted to do, I called Trilogy up and we headed towards ill-fated Ponce. We didn’t get lost and we arrived at the Taíno’s ceremonial museum, a.k.a. Tibes. There was a small group of 4 people that were tourists and that had just begun the guided tour, so we joined them. It was a recap of the things I already knew, plus I learned about how Maví and Raíces were brewed by the Taínos… One teaspoon of pure Raíces is used to clean the bloodstream, so imagine how strong that is! Anyway, there are 9 stoned-edged courtyards that were discovered by archeologists. The burial ground is the only one that was placed N-S, the others were placed E-W since their religion was based on praising the Sun god, mainly. There is one courtyard shaped as a sun, and the triangles are very accurate on telling an exact point that happens once a year. It was all very beautiful, as I remembered from elementary school… We visited the small museum that they keep… I recalled many other things… The feds have left almost nothing from all the items that were discovered… For the sake of science we always pay… Then we took a small break at the souvenir store, drank some Raíces and we ended this tour watching the 10-minute movie that they show about the Taínos… Gosh, it’s the same movie that they showed when I was 9 years old… An update should be in process, DAMNIT! Next stop: The Museum of Puerto Rico. Now, trying to get there we REALLY got lost. We passed by other museums and even the Parque de Bombas… LOL We asked a policeman fishy and she gave us directions… So, we spent the rest of the evening admiring paintings and reading their history and making up what the people in the paintings were thinking… LOL I fall in love with a painting in particular. The crucifixion of Christ, but instead of having the body of the Christ hanging from the cross it depicts Jesus as a child, dressed as the Christ, hugging the cross, while standing over 3 male heads, a snake and a skull. It is really powerful and original, and I wish I could find a copy of it… I also had a nervous breakdown because of the “lack of creativity” on the images because ¾ of the paintings ALWAYS had a skull somewhere… I know it means that appearances of physical matters and vanity are not permanent and fade with time… but hey, must EVERYONE use the same allegory? LOL The second painting that I absolutely LOVED is the one showing an old philosopher surrounded by his apprentices… They are writing everything he say, he is dying because he just slit his feet and placed them in water so he has a slow death while he teaches his last lessons to the others… The philosopher was a follower of Plato, and he had been sentenced to death… When the military arrived, he decided to do this and die his way… Cool, huh? Well… After the historical-comemierdistic evening we headed to our hometown. We stopped to eat some calzones and we realized we had a perfect day. When we arrived home we had an argument because of his screaming from the car to a person… saying offensive words… That was the only bad moment of the day, so even if it was a big bang it is an improvement. Trilogy promised to try controlling his vocabulary ESPECIALLY if he’s in my surroundings… We’ll see… And so, Friday finished… I went home and fall to sleep like a rock…

Saturday: Since the wedding was supposed to be today, Groundel’s cousin and aunt and her hubby made it anyway to the island… So, I decided that the least I could do is play the host even if for a short time. So the group was Groundel, Groundelette, Gigik, Vangie and her hubby and PapoSpider and his daughter… and me of course! :) Una de estas cosas no es como las otras… LOL Anyway… We went to the Rincón Lighthouse, even though the day was cloudy and rainy and the end of the political campaigns were all in my hometown (so traffic and people were acting too crazy for my taste). We took some pics, said our hello’s, and then decided we were hungry. So, I had the great idea of going to Aguada to EL Plátano Loco (yup, The Crazy Plantain). It is a local landmark, a famous little restaurant famous because they do EVERYTHING with plantain: from plantain-burger to plantain candy. In order to get there we got REALLY lost because although I knew it was in Aguada I didn’t knew the way and whenever we stopped for directions people would send us in every direction but the right one… LOL We FINALLY made it, and at least we had a GRRRRRRRREAT time in there! I had a plantain-burger, others has an Island (plaintain soup with mofongo in the middle, topped with your choice of meat… that looked yummy!) (I’m a sucker for mofongo, gotta get it next time!). Well, after that we split. Heading towards Mayaguez we had a slight scare because of a group of young stupid people that were arguing and almost started a fight… Police arrived, cars could finally move… Amen… Since it was not too late we decided to rent a few movies and pass the night at home (yup, the street was too unpredictable and with the little scare it was enough excitement for the night). So, we rented Mafalda, Cold Mountain, 50first dates and Ginger Snaps Back. We stayed up until 4am, and then to sleep…

Sunday: Woke up at midday… still tired and sleepy, but after some conferencing with the Circle of Jedis we decided to take Vangi and crew to the Cabo Rojo lighthouse, so they could see the REAL deal. So, we met at the nearest BK and off to the lighthouse we went! LOL We got there, to my surprise the place had Salinas almost everywhere… just one bad way to reach the trail, everything else covered with water… Hmmm… that’s good and that’s bad… At least the flora and fauna are healing, and I guess that’s Nature’s way of protecting herself… Anyway, we hiked up the trail, and arrived at the site. The guests loved it… Duh! It is my absolutely favorite place in the island. And then a little something happened. There we saw this kitty, with yellow and black spots and white tummy and feet… She looked hungry, and one eye seemed to be bad… Yet her fur was shiny and she was very friendly… I fall in love. We played with her, and she followed us most of the trail… So, gave her a hamburger that I had kept in the car and brought her home with me. She’s lovely. I named her Roxy after Chicago’s Roxy Heart. I tried to see if Lucinda wanted to keep her, but she was not home… I had to take my brats off the bathroom so I keep Roxy isolated. :) After all that, I looked for some info for Trilogy and went to see him. He had been depressed the whole afternoon, and still looked sad. I listened to all he had to say, and tried to make him feel better… An almost impossible task. He takes whatever I say too personally, and sometimes I actually MEAN nothing because I am thinking of NOTHING… Damn if I think, damned if I don’t… I hope he can get out of where he lives… It is the only way he can find a little peace… But if he doesn’t get a job, there’s no point in complaining because he won’t have the tools to do ANYTHING at all. He needs to get some stuff for school and his mom had not get him the stuff… but it is as I told him, instead of complaining and being a leech he should get his own stuff… he ain’t no kid no more… At least I made him smile a little… And I didn’t end up crying, so THAT’s a change. LOL And then I went home. Another day, gone.

Monday: Woke up late again… Midday, and I am here… waiting for breakfast. :) And finishing off some ebay deals… Guess today I rest... Gotta find some missing money, hope the kitties did not bury it in the litter! OMG! Grrrrr...

Lucinda: WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Coriolis: DID YOU GET WHAT U WERE GONNA GET? CALL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE And HEY! When are you giving ME your blog's address? Hmph!
Kara: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYYYYYYYYYYYY! She's finally divorced! FINALLY! Amen! :)
AVO: Hugsssssssssssssssssss!

10-4

Ok, so yesterday was a disturbing day... Daylight brought a good swift bundle of memories and amicable talk... Nightlight brought anger, despair, sorrow, truth, and death... Allright, not physical death but perhaps a humble stage of stasis (picture the worm inside a cocoon)... Groundel and I had a big talk. I tried explaining myself as clear as I could... He knows all this time I have always told him what I do, when I do... And he knows I write here things that are in my mind, in my heart and in my dreams. I am not thinking of Groundel as 2nd plate to Trilogy. My logic and my reason says Groundel is my stability. But one thing is missing... That little beat that makes you flip of joy and do crazy things just because... And that little beat is my Trilogy... While my reason goes to Groundel, my feelings/passion/child... name it as you must... goes to Trilogy. I dream of Trilogy. Yet, I have done for Groundel so many things I wouldn't even have think of doing for Trilogy... Because I believed in Groundel and Kymill. I truly did. I gave it all. But then hell broke loose, and although NOT everything has been hell, the events were quite gargantuan... I did my best to handle the issues, but my sadness was growing... And although I may appear to enjoy sadness, I do not. I needed to unlock my old self, I needed to unchain my feelings and my chaos... I was dying. So, here we are... I am not trying the "go back with fill-the-blank game". I just want to be ME. I have been living for everyone else the last 10 years, and in the way I lost ME. I WANT to be ME, to have my deep feelings, to enjoy each day as if it were the last, to breathe, and look into the sky and count the stars again, and fight dragons and fly in the wind... I LOVE ME. And so, a consequence of being ME is the neverending search for Trilogy... HE brings out my passion, my innocense, my dreams... It is not something I do to bother anyone, but to make myself smile. I hate the fact that in the way I am hurting someone I do care much about... But I HAVE to do this. I cannot marry anyone before being CERTAIN that Trilogy and I were not meant to be... And in order to do that we need to share time, and everyday life... we need to be friends again, and then see if everything else falls in place, if things have change for better or for worse... I need time and space and understanding in order to do that. If love is not enough, I will take my passion and pride and go away from Trilogy, forever. But I MUST take one last chance, and BELIEVE in my dream, and see if it works because I just could not go on through life feeling REGRET. And until now, I regret nothing I have done... I don't want to start that now. It prides me to have a clean concience. And so I am doing what I have to do for MY self. Groundel, you must stay within your cocoon if you want to wait for a true decision from me, but at the same time you must keep your self growth by finishing studying and working... do not rot... You have done great so far, and you can do even MORE... but let me go for a while... If I return to you it will be forever... If I don't then you KNOW we will always be family and I will always be your best friend NO MATTER WHAT.

This is the story of 3 people... trying to live in Puerto Rico...
Let's see how things turn when things stop being polite...
and start getting REAL.
All within the boundaries of love...

God have mercy...

10-4

Two long days... In both I have been cleaning up my little rooms at my aunt's house. I have been book-lifting, and throwing away so many useless papers! Dated from 1985... Why one keeps so much stuff that is sooooo useless? Ah, the physical attachment to memories...

Ok, so I did not throw away my Lyoness notebook cover, or the Darkseid Apocalipse Now cover, or the English class "Stickyfingers" essays... those are too priceless... I still keep the great notebook of eyes... LOL That was my "venting" notebook, each time I was angry I drew eyes all over pages and pages and pages... I found some cool stuff, two stray certificates of achievement that I didn't knew I had, a thank-you letter from the wife of my fisrt boss (?) and a whole bunch of keys that I have not idea where they go or what they do... LOL

But the most priceless things I found were in a small bundle of paper. As I ripped away the papers I found a small notebook that reads "A thousand and one uses for a Gilbert" LOL I was laughing so hard... I made it to seven hundred something... And there were the rings we both shared, my skeleton ring and his skeleton-snake ring (yup, those were our engagement rings back then...) And a book with a dedicatory, a picturebook of The Secret Garden in which came a small key and he dedicated to me... Awwwww... But the cutest of things and maybe the one of more value is one paper that has a long dedicatory talking about trust, that he wrote... The paper is a beautiful, glossy certificate... And it was signed by both of us on 1992. And it says that "It is certified that V and G agree to love each other forever, blah blah... and Cupid is the witness to it". I have completely forgotten about that, it was one of the few things that my first boyfriend gave me back then... I had no idea something like that existed... It seems that when we splited I made a "time capsule" of all the things that were ours, and placed them together in a paper cocoon... It was moving to see the bundle and find things as if I were opening a treasure of golden coins... I have forgotten how thoughtful he could be when he wanted to be so... I so often just focus on the bad things that people have done to me... It still amazes me how, after 15 years of knowing each other, after 12 years of ups and downs, we can still look at each other and stir each other's emotions. Some things are beyond reason, beyond logic, beyond time and place... So many people have come between us, so many events and so many fights and misunderstandings... People and family did everything to separate us, to make us hate us... But what is true always win. Truth prevails no matter the odds. And so, just browsing the time capsule of "us" made me smile. A certificate of being a couple... LOL Damn, we were REALLY into us... And we still are...

Anyway... cleaned up, only a small spot in the closet still awaits for my grasp... Buahahahah... I placed my furrrrred stuffed animals in order, sort of. Will clean up the dolls and move things to create a more "designing" look maybe on Mon or Tue. I've done a lot on my so called "vacation". I think its time to go for the "enjoy yourself a little" weekend starting tomorrow...

May go to the movies tomorrow night. On Friday I'll see if I go to Tibes (indios ceremonial museum place), and at evening Trilogy invited me to a small school activity in a restaurant in Joyuda. Ohhh, our first going out activity in 10 years, the tear is coming down my temple... sniff sniff... LOL

I'll see if I can visit the Mayaguez Zoo on Saturday... haven't been there ever since I was in 5th grade! LOL Shame on me, this is my hometown,you know? :D On Sunday will try to visit El Faro, and later on El Calvo... it's been a while... So that's the master plan... Gotta go tomorrow morning to get my small paycheck to see if I can sponsor my plans, and/or if I need help! LOL

On other news, Groundelette will start school next week... YAYYYYYYYYY!!! She did her matricula today. She told us yesterday, that put me in a good mood. :)

Groundel is mad at me, I guess because I have been talking to/seeing Trilogy... Nothing is perfect.

Trilogy has final tests this week, so he's a bit stressed... But he can handle.

No word from Coriolis... I hope he didn't went to work on a strip joint...

Lucinda is also missing in action...

Ahhhhhh... Pretty tired, sleepy... Gotta do like a good kitty and take a catnap.

10-4

Last night I was REALLY annoyed because I did this looong rant and then I had a computer failure so I lost it... I HATE when I get hit by inspiration and then as easy it goes... Hmmm... Right now I only recall small pieces of what I was writing about... Let's see...

Groundelette: Again, matters of attitude that certainly pisses me off... Yes, I have a clan... But my clan is not about taking advantage of me BUT about sharing daily life one bump at a time... Her clan is all about action-suspence-deceit-drama-gossip-moredrama and most importantly, about using HER. I can't believe someone can be SO blind not to see that little BIG fact! I don't see why she calls them friends, ESPECIALLY that Fabio guy... True friends DO NOT act as her friends do. But I guess that until she gets a true friend then she won't know the difference. In the meantime, her following Fabio's ass one way or the other is starting to be irritating. If she doesn't put her life together, then she better be warned that I won't stand that kind of chaos in MY cave. Even her mom said it, that she was suppossed to come over here leaving all her shit in NJ, to start clean and do things for herself and her family. That has not been what I have seen and tasted. What I see and taste is she came here to get Fabio one way or the other, simply because it's been 3 months and she only moved for one week to get a job, and only because I was insisting on it. I gave her all the tools to do EVERYTHING. She hasn't gone to get government aids, she hasn't look for a job on her own, she doesn't even cooks for herself. All she does is wait around the house the whole day, playing in the PS for hours, cleaning once every week, and waiting until there is nobody home so she talks with Fabio or the guy from Ohio. I am VERY upset with this, because she is just "chuleando" and doing nothing more. All that is in her mind is getting a guy, nothing of more substance really... Studying... Ah... I don't think she will stand it when and if it comes... My belief in what she wanted to do at first is completely gone, as I have seen the true colors of things. She waits for her mother to send her money, and she's living the parasite's life. This is the truth. I asked her mother to send no more money. Geee, the woman has almost NOTHING and from that she spares some for her daughter... And her daughter is healthy, kicking, with 2 hands and 2 legs and can work for a living... I was wrong to say groundel was lazy, he just lacks motivation. But his sister, she IS lazy. And I am getting to the end of my rope BECAUSE the LAST thing I tolerate is lazyness... It brings out the WORST of me. So I hope she shapes up, move and do her thing. If not, I will put her ass in a plane, or she'll make her "dream"come true because she will have to go live at Fabio's house. I have been too nice and too kind, but I see no results on that. I guess that Vierna the Bitch is the only one that everyone hates BUT receives results...

With that off my mind, comes the issue of Trilogy and Groundel. First things first...

Trilogy: The one that keeps on wasting precious time, for he still does not see I am giving him a last chance... I am doing the things I must, but I won't get off my house just because of pretty words or promises. He needs consistency on what he wants. He needs to make time EVERYDAY for me, not just when he remembers. He needs to learn to send me emails just because, and call me just because, and invite me places and ask me to hang out with him... If he doesn't do that, then I won't follow his ass. I am beyong that period of time. I want to be the one followed, won, courted... I want to be treated as the woman I am, I want to feel respect and admiration. I simply do not get that from him. So I think it all should be his effort, if HE really wants to be with me... In the meantime, I am busy doing things that affect me directly like straightening out my own life... No men included on that issue.

Groundel: The more he tries the more he bothers me. I am not complicated, I am quite simple BUT it is just the fact that we are too different and there is no true understanding. Sometimes it is just fine that he's around, but when he start getting anoying I just need a breath of fresh air... He still hopes to gain my trust. That is another story... Maybe we still can be good friends... Maybe things can look up. I still don't know, I am not feeling like trusting ANY man around me.

Coriolis: I hope that he doesn't get mad at me. I am not chasing him, just stating some truths on my side and trying to be as supportive as I can. I expect nothing else but his friendship, and that is perfectly fine with me. Sometimes, when I get blue, I think of our past and I get upset about it but I am allowed to have some feelings! I am all about feelings, ain't I? LOL I hope he sees beyond my words and actions, and I trust he does... He is the only one that REALLY knows me. And I love him for that, and for making my life a better hell. :)

Kara: I hope that she gets to grab her ex by the balls and to tear them apart. That guy deserves jail. I would go to the feds and have him arrested. Girl, think about THAT. He needs a reality check.

AVO: Glad to witness that the trouble in paradise is smoothing out. :)

Zordak: Hope he's still with good vision after the alcohol incident... LOL Already missing you, pal! :)

MrFlach: Missing in action... I wonder if the Pet Rocks kidnapped him...

Well... I recall I ranted about feelings and love and stuff, but I ain't feeling so pink today... I was painting the bathroom and have to give it a second hand... So, I'm out of here...

10-4

Yesterday woke up to the beat of the phone... 11:30... A call from work in the starting days of my so-called vacation... But at least it was not to give bad news, but to remind me of a little extra cash that arrived after 4 months... About time, Damnit!

So, I was awake, called the hojalatero and got the news that my baby was alive and kicking... Zordak called at 1:00 and so he arrived later on to give me a lift. Always the gentleman, always funny. The guy never changes, amen to that. My baby was delivered to me in one piece, and even shiny and glowing! I couldn't believe it! It looked amazing! After a whole year, my car looks perfect. I felt I could kiss the hojalatero, but nah... LOL The other funny moment was that the guy asked Groundelette if she was praying or something, because she was looking to the floor and sooooooo quiet! LMFAO!!! Yup, she stared at him the way she does... But hey, it is the truth. She's got to learn to talk at least "socially"... How can she create some "acquaintances" if she always plays the mute? Ok, whatever...

The second funny thing was that the people at the auto body repair thought Zordak was my boyfriend... Oh, well... Guess he looks like the kind of guy that can wreck a car? LOL Or maybe they saw when he arrived with us at the place... Zordak can be a hazard in the streets! Yup, stick to magic, repeat STICK TO MAGIC... TELEPORT! The safe other way to go... Hmmm... Wrong choice of words...

Soooo... then it was off to the glass place so the car glass could be mounted. We waited for 15 minutes, Zordak and I catched up in some local news. Grundelette kept on being quiet... Guess that one will actually initiate a conversation when pigs fly! Anyway... The baby was delivered in my hands for a second time, and it looked like new. The joy had no description. I felt so happy I invited for a round of ale at the local bar! Ok, so actually I invited for a round of ice cream at BR, but hey it's almost the same delight (so I've been told). Zordak made his choice at once and we had to beat the choice out of Groundelette's mouth. Even for ice cream flavor she won't speak up... SHOOT ME! Finally, after 4 years I got a hold on a Mocha Blast... Yes, it's one of those pleasurable cold thinguies that I just love. I definitively enjoyed the moment. :) We had a nice little time at BR. Laughed a-lot.

Whenever Zordak is around is an instant time capsule... or more like time stops and we are back at were we left off. He's one of the few people I can stop seeing for a while but wish I could see everyday, all the time... And I wouldn't get tired of it. I consider him family. He's been there through good and bad times, listening to me, supporting me and bothering me as well. LOL Duh, only true friends are allowed that PRIVILEGE. ;) I know right now his life is "complicated" as he says it, but hey... don't come around twice a year! You can do a once a week at least, lazy ass! :) It is the daily nonsense that we shared for more than 8 years that bonds us forever. Live up to the memory! Besides, we are worth it. :) Zordak is my pride and joy. He was the one everyone picked on, and the one that moved forward and created his own life (besides myself). He is an example of where there is a will, ANYTHING can be done. He built himself by his own hands. I admire that, as he gained my full respect that way. I am VERY PROUD of my mage! Let the whole world know it! :D

Anyway, that was the Kodak Moment of the month. :) From BR we all departed. Was quite tired when I got home, so had a nice little nap and then went online for a while... Seems AVO is sorting things out with the Hottie. I hope so, the lady is got to realize one way or the other that AVO is very true in his ways, and that he is precious. She better not hurt him or I'll hunt her down and exterminate her! Hmph! ;)

Today, Lucinda's hubby passed by to take my baby for a walk... and so, another day without a car... Well, since boredom leads to creativity, I spent the day painting some walls in yellowish green and made a small mural in the living room. I may do the bathroom tomorrow, if I feel like it... Whatever. Lucinda passed by to take me to my baby, and so the quest is almost over. The car is happy inside-out. Now it just need a change of diapers... er... oil... and a change of shoes... er... tires... And that's about it. I am feeling wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee about that. The car had me stressed-out. At least now I know it is still the #1 dependable entity in my life. Yay!

Trilogy called during the afternoon. Today is the official 30 years of Dungeons & Dragons, and all around the world gamers would unite and play the same 3rd edition special module made for this event... Whatever. I love AD&D but I am an old-school 2nd edition fan, plus I believe in making your own stories and not playing something EVERYONE will be playing... Awwwwww... Dissapointed? Peter? Royal? Trilogy? Do not worry, there's eternity to play Dungeons... my way... ;)

LadyMex called too. She's still on the loop of the last time we went to SanGerman... Ahhhh... Like, move on, girl! And she said something of getting together for Halloween... Ahhhh... Like... You believe in making it a "United Nations" day so kids do not celebrate pagan things... I believe in having fun in a day dedicated to horror... FUN. F-U-N. No devil worshipping, no throwing rotten eggs, but FUN. And I kinda get a bit gothic on the special date... So I don't see how we can get together and celebrate without hindering each other's idea of what the day should be... Anyway... We'll see how THAT turns out... I have nothing against LadyMex, it's just that she makes a big deal out of things that do not require much deep thought... I am not complicated. I go with the flow. But the speech of me not knowing how it feels to have kids kinda pisses me off... It's always in the tip of her tongue... Ahhhhh!!! I do have something called COMMON SENSE. Plus, NEWSFLASH dear LadyMex: I was a kid once, years ago. I handled myself pretty well. I can handle kids as well.

Wow, looks like I have been quiet the whole day, huh? Shut me up! Hit me with a brick! LOL

10-4

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- natured, she thought: still it had verylong claws and a great many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect.

`Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'

`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.

`I don't much care where--' said Alice.

`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

`--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.

`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.'

Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. `What sort of people live about here?'

`In that direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, `lives a Hatter: and in that direction,' waving the other paw, `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.

`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'

`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'

-Lewis Carrol, "Alice in Wonderland"

My car looks happy. Finally the outside is clean, glossy and damage-free. Amen! The glass was restored and the evil bump was straightened... Tomorrow to finish things off by repairing the internal issues. I'm glad that plan is coming together. :)

10-4

I walked for 1 1/2 hours today, from the hojalatero to my house... Fun long walk under the sun... I feel like a fried chicken, my skin is actually THERE... I may have got a small insolation, had a fever during the afternoon... At least my sickness is gone? LOL Ah, life...ain't it a bowl of cherries? Jah!

Went to the PO and got a package from China... Yup, my Disney movies came from China and I didn't wanted to break the packaging... LOL Used a razor to open it. Spent the whole afternoon watching Bambi, Sleeping Beauty, Alice in Wonderland, Lion King. Imagine my mood. :) And since I am feeling happy and pink, my dear Coriolis is feeling doomed, gloom and under the sink... Ah... talking lately about how things never change? Yup, it would take a cosmical catastrophy for us to get in the same mood after all... I guess that it is all about the balance of the Universe... Good vs Evil, Law vs Chaos, Blaze vs Coriolis... LOL We balance each other out. That's the trick of our neverending friendship, one is up to pick the other when the other is down, or one is down to drive the other crazy... :D Some Higher puppeteer is having fun with us at all times...

And as I fall asleep, one day my Prince Charming will wake me up with a kiss... And then we'll both send the dwarves to destroy humanity and build a nice sturdy castle so the Elves can decorate it and we can live happily ever after... LOL We are all allowed to dream, ain't we? And my dreams do not give up on perfection, as perfection can only happen when two halves meant for each other become one whole. And I wish that my other half would understand that little fact... But he's so stubborn that in his denying me, my memory has become frozen inside his heart of stone. I know my own little ghosts and my own little truths... I live my own little life as best as I can, and I build my actions on the base of love... inconditional, endless, timeless, true... And so I love as I do... And I am called mad because of that. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I must live up to my title, no? And a mad witch cannot be taken seriously by any man... or humanoid... Or so the Oracle says... So I guess I'll just go deeper in my madness, keep worshipping my cats and just live my present to the fullest as dreamland is an idea that was not made for me...

Yes, sometimes I get bitter about the things some people tell me... It is mostly that my people get me upside-down. My good intentions are easily misrepresented or misunderstood, and soon it all leads to cinders... I have the will and the desire but not the motivation to do certain things...

Trilogy has failed once more. I expected him to connect with me a bit more, but his lack of "reaching me" is leaving me without any will to do anything in his favor. I feel his words have been empty once more, and now with the excuse of having no time because of school... School never stopped me from seeing him daily years ago... So... Ah! I won't even get started there... I am not a toy that you can use or remember on occassion... I need presence, sharing, mind link, essence, thoughts, will, actions... He's getting over the no-studying phase BUT he's still not into the serious commitment attitude and I am too tired of it. Last time he walked with me from his house to my apartment it was a 2 hour walk of non-stop crying for me... Crying... Bitter crying for things he tells me, things he shows me and all in all how much he hurts me carelessly... As always... And from that night a part of me feels dead inside...

Groundel has been doing his normal stuff, working his ass off... Studying... Playing... Nothing different there. At least he is not arguing with anything... And he has been more supportive with his sister... He still hopes to change my mind, but expects the worst. He knows what's in my mind and heart... Time after...

Mixed feelings with some others, but I won't get there. One is banned from me and the other I choose to be banned from him... No more additions to my drama... Enough of that. Although "If I could turn back time, If I could find the way... You'll stay..." It's too late for second chances that in reality are thirds or fourths... I know how a failure causes an impact in relationships... Especially after Groundel failed me... Nothing was the same... So I know how the One feels... He said he never hated me, I guess I know what he meant... But the feeling that is left burns... Nothing is ever the same... He made the wise choice of ending it soon. If we had tried right away, then we would really HATE each other now. I look back and I still don't know why I failed him as I did, why I had no patience whatsoever... I became what I have always preached against. I can say that now, with the "other" point of view, and it saddens me. Thanks to me our lives were both screwed, he was left with the never-ending search and I was left without him. Do not bend your knee before dead gods... Fickle, arrogant, wicked... how much he chooses to ignore me, and how much I love him! He talks about his lonelyness and his emptyness, and all I want to do is go over there and just hold him tight... He tells me what he wants and is just the smallest part of what I want to give him. Do not bend your knee before dead gods... Yeah, thats the mental note I must keep for him... to keep my sanity... to have the strenght to fulfill one of my greatest promises... to help him go through his dark times, so he finds happiness. The greatest nothing that ever happenned to me... Ah, depressed ranting... I must stop watching Disney movies...

The one I choose to stay banned from could be the someone that makes my life happy... But some issues divides us... And it is better to keep our friendship than to hate each other for true... We argue a-lot... But our intense conversations are always worth it. My genius... I wish him happiness...

Love is the greatest deceit created by God so He has fun when He is bored... Love is the thing that means everything to you when you can't have it, and that you take for granted when it's at your side. It is the greatest of joys, and the greatest of dissapointments... Better to feel nothing... But then again, life would be worthless...

Whatever...

10-4

Another long day, basically because I was feeling so sick... Woke up with fever and runny nose... My luck... vacation and sickness goes always hand in hand... Anyway, managed to get on my car and go over to the hojalatero to get an estimate for repairing my car's window. That will be tomorrow's morning deal: First stop go and leave my car at the hojalatero's place, then the second dilemma will be the looooong walk to get to my apartment... and wait for a call in the afternoon so I walk all the way back to get the car... We'll see how that turns out... I'll get the window fixed (better say glued) on Friday, so on Friday night I can leave my car with Lucinda so on Saturday her hubby takes it to his repair place and do the motor... So I hopefully will have my car almost complete by Saturday afternoon... After that, it will be a matter of getting the tires and the marbete by the end of month... And then I can safely say my car will be up to more years of punishment. LOL Yup, this is "Feeding the car's ego" week. He deserves it. He has served me for 6 years and has not failed me... and I have travelled through hell and back! I love my car even if I don't show, we have a bond... My precious, the only thing I truly own, the only thing I can call mine... My own... My preciousssssssssssssssssss...

So, basically that's what I've been up to... Finding ways to fix the car, and doing window shopping so I don't just stay at home buried in my bed (that would make me sicker). Next week I hope I can get to paint my room at my aunt's and put things together over there. Can't even think of it right now, she doesn't like me to go visit when I am sick... Funny, huh? So... Maybe I'll just design something in the living room... Who knows, when I get bored and sick it is a dangerous combination... I get to paint the unpaintable and change the unchangeable... Buahahahahah... Plus the Halloween vein needs blood... It's asking for it... And my gothic tendencies ask for retribution as well... I must obey. :)

Kitties misbehaving, everything else quiet... I'm tired and achy, so I shall write no more. Live long and prosper! ;)

10-4

Been quite a day... Woke up with fever. Sent Groudelette to get me some pills since there was nothing here... Slight scare of no water, but then it came back at 10 or so... Then this thing with Favio... Groundelette should not speak to the guy after being so thoughtless and careless about her! Anyway, took her to the mall, and spent the whole afternoon windowshopping (no money no boloni). Came back and after a while Fabio makes an appearance. Took him into a small trip about the real world... I HOPE he gets the POINTS I tried to make him SEE. If not, next time I won't be so civil or polite, because I WAS polite and only speaking the TRUTH. Anyway, off he goes and Groundelette is left crying... After eating, Groundel got up and went to speak with her... Dunno what he said, at least I heard her laughing and she stopped crying . I stayed away, digging myself in some serious cyber-search for slipcovers for my sofas... The cats have been having too much fun lately :)

Being a mother is a tough, nasty job... DAMNIT

On other news, Zordak appeared last night in my cave. It was absolute FUN. We all had a good time. I wish he would drop by more frequently, his company is really precious to me. One of the few people that always puts me in a good mood no matter what. At least some things never change! :)

Trilogy called today saying that he had been calling my work by mistake for the past 2 days... Hmmm... Ok... Then His father appears drunk and he had to hang up... Yup, things that never change... This one sucks... Oh, well...

No word from Coriolis... Must be wandering in the 5th dimension...

And that's about it... I'm still feeling sick but by now I'm used to it. LOL

10-4

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added: "Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."

The little prince went away, to look again at the roses. "You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world." And the roses were very much embarassed. "You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

And he went back to meet the fox. "Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . ."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

-Antoine de Saint Exupéry, "The Little Prince"

This small book is my favorite book of all times. I read it once each year, and every time it gives insight upon so many things... This part, where the fox gives the lesson of what friendship is, is always my favorite. I dedicate this to my cherished flowers: Lucinda, Coriolis, Groundel, Zordak, Joe and Trilogy. It is the time that I have wasted on you that makes you so important... I love you all. :)

Slow weekend. Have not felt like doing much... Basically hibernated and watched some rented movies... Hidalgo was ok, but horses are not my fav topic for entertainment... Shaolin Soccer was hilarious, reminded me of Ranma 1/2... KillBill2 I really liked, I just LOVE the Bride character (although Umma doesn't really look good or healthy... and from other movies and tv seems the girl is a walking corpse!). Began watching Johny Q on tv but had to go before the movie finished...

Today woke up at 1:30pm... Was raining so I had no option but to play with Fireworks and surf the net for a looooooong while... I sacrificed myself, you know... ;) And here I am... Not sleepy, a bit tired...

Feeling: Confused, psychedout, neglected, forgotten, jealous, contradictory, choice-impaired, random, conglomerate thoughts, contempt, free

Looking: Awesomely ravashingly beautiful

Thinking: About many colorful projects

Wishing: For True Love to be Real instead of such a Dream

Having: Brain damage

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