Important decisions are never easy. I weight good versus bad, time versus tears, promises versus actions... It all ends in the same place. I do not want to marry. I thought I did, a year ago... but things have not improved as I expected, and love is almost absent. I say almost, because to have the patience I've had and to do the things I've done I must definitively love even if it's not a passionate storm... It saddens me inmensily, but I need to put myself first even if this is the first time I do so in so many years. I need to go home, like it or not. I need to heal some old wounds, like it or not. I need to take my children with me, and let them help me heal. I cannot just open another door because I feel like it... Whatever is to be, will be. But right now I need ME time, I need to be alone.
I cried today, as always the One makes me cry. He thoughtlessly throws daggers at me without stopping to think that I do feel, that I am doing things for him even if it doesn't seem like it... I need words of encouragement and hope, not bitterness and spurn. Why is that so hard to understand or accept? I need strenght for being me, as I've given all my strenght helping others. I need kindness and whispers, no more fighting... no more questions or doubts... I need a quiet retreat, to breath, to hear my own heart beating... I need rest and calmness and quietness... Give me shelter, soothe my spirit... But do not put more hatred or madness into the cauldron... It's all driving me mad... It's all so insane! Why can't anyone see I am crystal clear... I have nothing to hide, but so much to give! Why is it that I am so easily missunderstood at all times?
The phoenix is consumed by her own fire. The ashes fall into the earth, and so it ends once more.
The smallest of flames fights to burn... Among the ashes, it fights... Among the ashes...
10-4
Monday, September 27, 2004
He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for respect
He deals the crads to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden loaw of a probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance
I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades
I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost
I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
-Sting, "Shape of my Heart"
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for respect
He deals the crads to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden loaw of a probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance
I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades
I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost
I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
-Sting, "Shape of my Heart"
Two paths, and I do not know what to do… I hate this. It is a no-win situation, no matter what I choose, I loose. I’m supposed to take the least bad decision, but either way it hurts… And I feel tied up with chains so thick… In searching answers I’ve come up with more questions. My mind cannot take all this, I am numb to any feeling or emotion BECAUSE I just have so much to think about…
Trilogy called on Saturday afternoon. He was asking what I was gonna do. Then he starts demanding as usual… I cannot handle more arguments with him. I asked him to call Coriolis, my “attorney”. Convinced him to do so, even if he was reluctant. Why call Coriolis? Because he is the only one grounded enough and sane enough to get the truth out of anyone without becoming biased. And Coriolis knows me inside out-upside down. Coriolis knows how-why-when I think or do things, he has paid attention to ME always, he has ALWAYS been there as the truest friend only an elf can be… Watching… Gathering information… Yup, that’s Coriolis… My psychiatrist, counselor, mentor, guidance, advisor, navigator… So… Trilogy called Coriolis and in the evening Coriolis called me. He said Trilogy was being truthful, and that his demands made sense That it was in my hands to accept Trilogy, or simply go on with what I had planned… My choice…
I told Groundel about the whole thing, he was mad, went out to take a 2-hour walk, came back… The silent one as usual. What is going on in his mind, a great mistery. Yesterday he was acting as if nothing happenned… Hello? So, I get no input, no data, no words from him… And it’s driving me crazy… My choice…
I don’t know what to do. The wedding is 4 weeks away, and I have the invitations in my car. I still have not sent them, because I am not sure if this is the right choice. I am not sure if I want to witness Groundel’s attitude for the rest of my life, and I am not sure that I can take more of his taking me for granted… He may love me, but he has a funny way of showing it… and I am feeling nothing from that love. All the things that has happenned during these 7 years we have been together has tested and trialed the love I have, and honestly I no longer know if I have any love left for him. I care deeply, but the deep meaning of love goes beyond time and place… I feel Groundel and me can be the best of friends, but as a couple, we suck. I think a couple should share 90% of thoughts and actions, and should know each other well, and have daily details with one another. But Groundel and me, the “air” of drama is not a love affair, mostly is a fight about his passion for video games or dungeons… And don get me wrong, I LOVE dungeons but… BUT… I should not be third place to games and dungeons. I should be first place to anything at all… And all this time I have been 3rd place, is that going to change just because God bless us and we sign a paper?
Then there’s Trilogy. My first love. My true love. My soulmate. The apple of my eye. The one I waited for, for 15 years… The one that has wasted his life doing nothing productive, following the crowd and not-so-friendly friends… Now he wants me seriously. He started studying by his own will, and he wants to marry me. So he says. And when we talk in the phone or in person there is this neverending charm in the air… overwhelming spell that won’t fade away… I KNOW he loves me, I KNOW he want’s to be with me, I KNOW we made each other so many promises that even throughout the years won’t die… But… There’s always the but. With him I was second place to the crowd, to his friends… Will that change now? Has he learned his lesson? How can I trust his word, when so many times it has been full of hollow promises? I don’t know if I should give him one last chance, for the 20th time… I don’t know if we are worth the trouble… I feel his presence fills my heart, and we have the rapport that Groundel and I will never have… but is it worth throwing away all these last years even if they have NOT been peachy or perfect?
With Groundel I have grown, like it or not. I became the responsible monster, the working freak, the demanding bitch. In the sense of being responsible for other people, for running a house, for having fized and variable expenses every month… We have gone through very very VERY bad times, and survived the rapids… barely… The biggest problem is the matter about trust… Trust was broken, and it is almost impossible to mend it. I have tried, honestly, but no matter how much I try I just cannot forget. And that doesn’t help to mend the other situations… After the BIG FALL, Groundel has tried to straighten up his life, devoting himself to working and studying… He will graduate next year. He’s working his ass off at the warehouse he’s at, hopefully he can get something better when he graduates… I acknowledge that he tries his best, and that so many times it is because of his attitude that things go wrong… He is a natural born pessimist, natural born grumpy anarchist, silent as a rock, stubborn as myself, and with a bad temper that skyrockets whenever anyone looks at him with a serious glance. He takes offense in the slightest joke, he puts himself down all the time, and he thinks he is not enough for me… He loves me, but he doesn’t know how to show it. He’s not about roses or poems or details, or saying I’m beautiful or any of that crap… He’s about getting up early to put fresh bread and fresh milk in my table, and about cleaning the kitty litter and taking out the trash without me asking for it. Love is not something he talks about or shows… He’s about knowing he do, and going on with daily life. And that may be great for some… But not for me. I’m a goddess and I need worship… or I die. I have told him in so many languages… But he still doesn’t get it. And four weeks from our wedding it is scary… He has not get it on 7 years, will he get it now? I honestly think he won’t. He promised so many times to change, but the problem is he is naturally un-friendly, naturally non-detail-oriented, naturally detail-impaired… So what to do about it? I know by now acceptance is no remedy because I get cranky, then mad…
Trilogy makes me mad with his follow-the-crowd attitude… His friends and family hate me. We grew up together, and we allow each other’s thorns to hurt each other’s life. He can hate each other’s guts with the same passion we love each other… The world may fall to pieces, but when we hold each other the world stops and it is all right. Just a hug has such an effect. We are opposites in many things, yet we have some common ground that bonds us… Our fights have been memorable, but our love has been transcending… I just wish that for once he would fight for me… But following his line of though he won’t disrespect Groundel or me. He doesn’t get that I need motivation to act in his favor, I have been after him for more than 10 years, and he has never demonstrated his will to be with me… Now is the time… Now before I say “I do” to someone else… And he still sits and says that it is my call…
A no-win situation. I love Trilogy with all my heart and reason… But if he doesn’t give me a real motive to stop the whole wedding thing, I am going on with it. I wish Trilogy would understand I need more than words. I need action, I need presence, I need to feel it’s true. How? I cannot tell him. But there are many ways, especially for someone as creative as him. If he does nothing, then it is because he didn’t love me at all. I am tired of being the one sacrificing things for my so-called loves. They should show ME how much I’m worth to THEM. Is that so much to expect? Too much to ask for? Ahhh, whatever!
I’ve been told I should just change the date of the wedding… I just think that won’t solve the problem. So I change the date, then what? Same old discussion when the new date arrives… The only sensible thing about changing the date is that I would have the money to do things myself, right now I am still counting on my mother to give me something and I don’t know if she will… So maybe changing for March or April is not such a bad idea. I stop paying my car in Nov, so I can raise the money for the big payments… And nothing else would be lost… The thing is the people coming from the states, that already bought the plane tickets. They cannot change them… So I don’t know… I even thought that I could marry Trilogy in a civil wedding so I can take advantage of my father’s travelling here… but I don’t know… I truly want a catholic ceremony… At least I am certain of that detail… I just have to be certain of my groom!
Did I mention it is a no-win situation? I am upset, tired, sad, cranky, hysterical, bipolar… I feel between the sword and the bottomless abysm. So, do I jump or do I let myself be beheaded? Choices… My never-ending love who has been fickle, or the love of the one who has always been there through good and bad… Passion versus soundness… Heart versus mind… My nature is to go with my heart, but sometimes love just ain’t enough… And sometimes… Love is everything…
10-4
Trilogy called on Saturday afternoon. He was asking what I was gonna do. Then he starts demanding as usual… I cannot handle more arguments with him. I asked him to call Coriolis, my “attorney”. Convinced him to do so, even if he was reluctant. Why call Coriolis? Because he is the only one grounded enough and sane enough to get the truth out of anyone without becoming biased. And Coriolis knows me inside out-upside down. Coriolis knows how-why-when I think or do things, he has paid attention to ME always, he has ALWAYS been there as the truest friend only an elf can be… Watching… Gathering information… Yup, that’s Coriolis… My psychiatrist, counselor, mentor, guidance, advisor, navigator… So… Trilogy called Coriolis and in the evening Coriolis called me. He said Trilogy was being truthful, and that his demands made sense
I told Groundel about the whole thing, he was mad, went out to take a 2-hour walk, came back… The silent one as usual. What is going on in his mind, a great mistery. Yesterday he was acting as if nothing happenned… Hello? So, I get no input, no data, no words from him… And it’s driving me crazy… My choice…
I don’t know what to do. The wedding is 4 weeks away, and I have the invitations in my car. I still have not sent them, because I am not sure if this is the right choice. I am not sure if I want to witness Groundel’s attitude for the rest of my life, and I am not sure that I can take more of his taking me for granted… He may love me, but he has a funny way of showing it… and I am feeling nothing from that love. All the things that has happenned during these 7 years we have been together has tested and trialed the love I have, and honestly I no longer know if I have any love left for him. I care deeply, but the deep meaning of love goes beyond time and place… I feel Groundel and me can be the best of friends, but as a couple, we suck. I think a couple should share 90% of thoughts and actions, and should know each other well, and have daily details with one another. But Groundel and me, the “air” of drama is not a love affair, mostly is a fight about his passion for video games or dungeons… And don get me wrong, I LOVE dungeons but… BUT… I should not be third place to games and dungeons. I should be first place to anything at all… And all this time I have been 3rd place, is that going to change just because God bless us and we sign a paper?
Then there’s Trilogy. My first love. My true love. My soulmate. The apple of my eye. The one I waited for, for 15 years… The one that has wasted his life doing nothing productive, following the crowd and not-so-friendly friends… Now he wants me seriously. He started studying by his own will, and he wants to marry me. So he says. And when we talk in the phone or in person there is this neverending charm in the air… overwhelming spell that won’t fade away… I KNOW he loves me, I KNOW he want’s to be with me, I KNOW we made each other so many promises that even throughout the years won’t die… But… There’s always the but. With him I was second place to the crowd, to his friends… Will that change now? Has he learned his lesson? How can I trust his word, when so many times it has been full of hollow promises? I don’t know if I should give him one last chance, for the 20th time… I don’t know if we are worth the trouble… I feel his presence fills my heart, and we have the rapport that Groundel and I will never have… but is it worth throwing away all these last years even if they have NOT been peachy or perfect?
With Groundel I have grown, like it or not. I became the responsible monster, the working freak, the demanding bitch. In the sense of being responsible for other people, for running a house, for having fized and variable expenses every month… We have gone through very very VERY bad times, and survived the rapids… barely… The biggest problem is the matter about trust… Trust was broken, and it is almost impossible to mend it. I have tried, honestly, but no matter how much I try I just cannot forget. And that doesn’t help to mend the other situations… After the BIG FALL, Groundel has tried to straighten up his life, devoting himself to working and studying… He will graduate next year. He’s working his ass off at the warehouse he’s at, hopefully he can get something better when he graduates… I acknowledge that he tries his best, and that so many times it is because of his attitude that things go wrong… He is a natural born pessimist, natural born grumpy anarchist, silent as a rock, stubborn as myself, and with a bad temper that skyrockets whenever anyone looks at him with a serious glance. He takes offense in the slightest joke, he puts himself down all the time, and he thinks he is not enough for me… He loves me, but he doesn’t know how to show it. He’s not about roses or poems or details, or saying I’m beautiful or any of that crap… He’s about getting up early to put fresh bread and fresh milk in my table, and about cleaning the kitty litter and taking out the trash without me asking for it. Love is not something he talks about or shows… He’s about knowing he do, and going on with daily life. And that may be great for some… But not for me. I’m a goddess and I need worship… or I die. I have told him in so many languages… But he still doesn’t get it. And four weeks from our wedding it is scary… He has not get it on 7 years, will he get it now? I honestly think he won’t. He promised so many times to change, but the problem is he is naturally un-friendly, naturally non-detail-oriented, naturally detail-impaired… So what to do about it? I know by now acceptance is no remedy because I get cranky, then mad…
Trilogy makes me mad with his follow-the-crowd attitude… His friends and family hate me. We grew up together, and we allow each other’s thorns to hurt each other’s life. He can hate each other’s guts with the same passion we love each other… The world may fall to pieces, but when we hold each other the world stops and it is all right. Just a hug has such an effect. We are opposites in many things, yet we have some common ground that bonds us… Our fights have been memorable, but our love has been transcending… I just wish that for once he would fight for me… But following his line of though he won’t disrespect Groundel or me. He doesn’t get that I need motivation to act in his favor, I have been after him for more than 10 years, and he has never demonstrated his will to be with me… Now is the time… Now before I say “I do” to someone else… And he still sits and says that it is my call…
I’ve been told I should just change the date of the wedding… I just think that won’t solve the problem. So I change the date, then what? Same old discussion when the new date arrives… The only sensible thing about changing the date is that I would have the money to do things myself, right now I am still counting on my mother to give me something and I don’t know if she will… So maybe changing for March or April is not such a bad idea. I stop paying my car in Nov, so I can raise the money for the big payments… And nothing else would be lost… The thing is the people coming from the states, that already bought the plane tickets. They cannot change them… So I don’t know… I even thought that I could marry Trilogy in a civil wedding so I can take advantage of my father’s travelling here… but I don’t know… I truly want a catholic ceremony… At least I am certain of that detail…
Did I mention it is a no-win situation?
10-4
Friday, September 24, 2004
Been everywhere, done many things, solved lots of stuff... I'm beat...
Gave my first invitations in Aguadilla. Just 6, but the people were so happy they put me in a happy mood too. At least 4 out of 6 will definitively get costumes. :D That should be fun. Even if only a few people appear, thats the key factor, which I kinda have been overlooking: This is something about fun. Maybe I'll get in the spirit after all, I just need a great Halloween package as reward... been checking the Universal Halloween Nights and this year it extends to Islands and Universal itself. It looks amazing! I hope I can make it there, and I hope no more hurricanes go that way... kinda creepy and annoying. :)
Won the rings bid! Gotta pay that tonight. Little by little... Gotta finish the last invitations, and gotta mail the invitations to the US people. Hopefully, I'll do that tomorrow morning. :)
10-4
Gave my first invitations in Aguadilla. Just 6, but the people were so happy they put me in a happy mood too. At least 4 out of 6 will definitively get costumes. :D That should be fun. Even if only a few people appear, thats the key factor, which I kinda have been overlooking: This is something about fun. Maybe I'll get in the spirit after all, I just need a great Halloween package as reward... been checking the Universal Halloween Nights and this year it extends to Islands and Universal itself. It looks amazing! I hope I can make it there, and I hope no more hurricanes go that way... kinda creepy and annoying. :)
Won the rings bid! Gotta pay that tonight. Little by little... Gotta finish the last invitations, and gotta mail the invitations to the US people. Hopefully, I'll do that tomorrow morning. :)
10-4
Thursday, September 23, 2004
I've got a superEXTRAtoughKALIfragilisticExpialidotius headache. Brain bursting out. Still, done most work that was on hold. Only a few details and everything will be in excellent condition for me to start vacations... That's in 3 weeks, hopefully. :D
Got a date on the post office tomorrow, hope I can get a part time job... need the extra income...
Got a date for the TSA test, hopefully I can pass... That's in October 12... How ironic, huh? It would be a hit to get a job there next year... I would earn more than what I earn now with a 20 hour part time job... Any questions?
Still looking for new horizons. Gotta change this crappy job for something else... Need a new environment, a change on routine, something new and that makes me feel fullfilled... In the good sense of those words, you pervs out there! :P I am determined to get something better by next year. Gotta do so, if I want to start the 2006 with beginning my doctor's degree... Gotta put all financial issues in place, and straighten everything out. Cannot waste time.
When the wedding thinguie is over I'll start the business plan for business #1 in November. Hope to get it put together by December. So I can try giving it a shot on January. We'll see about that...
Lucinda has been busy, have not talked much to her. Coriolis may be mad at me, hope it is not life-threatening. Groundelette has been behaving, and her Fabio seems to be getting miracle shots on his brain... AVO busy and still looking for inteligent life on Earth... Groundel still making me wanna kill him, taking the Living dead theme too seriusly maybe? Ah, lost case. Better to ignore than to spill blood,... Don't feel like thinking too much... The headache is killing ME!!!
At least I ain't as moody as yesterday... I guess that just getting creative is the perfect way to vent things... At least I know I move on in every aspect, hopefully the people around me will follow my footsteps...
10-4
Got a date on the post office tomorrow, hope I can get a part time job... need the extra income...
Got a date for the TSA test, hopefully I can pass... That's in October 12... How ironic, huh? It would be a hit to get a job there next year... I would earn more than what I earn now with a 20 hour part time job... Any questions?
Still looking for new horizons. Gotta change this crappy job for something else... Need a new environment, a change on routine, something new and that makes me feel fullfilled... In the good sense of those words, you pervs out there! :P I am determined to get something better by next year. Gotta do so, if I want to start the 2006 with beginning my doctor's degree... Gotta put all financial issues in place, and straighten everything out. Cannot waste time.
When the wedding thinguie is over I'll start the business plan for business #1 in November. Hope to get it put together by December. So I can try giving it a shot on January. We'll see about that...
Lucinda has been busy, have not talked much to her. Coriolis may be mad at me, hope it is not life-threatening. Groundelette has been behaving, and her Fabio seems to be getting miracle shots on his brain... AVO busy and still looking for inteligent life on Earth... Groundel still making me wanna kill him, taking the Living dead theme too seriusly maybe? Ah, lost case. Better to ignore than to spill blood,... Don't feel like thinking too much... The headache is killing ME!!!
At least I ain't as moody as yesterday... I guess that just getting creative is the perfect way to vent things... At least I know I move on in every aspect, hopefully the people around me will follow my footsteps...
10-4
Lovely way to start the day... same routine, same thing... It is so hard to things without my supervision, without asking me to do them? Seems so. In the beginning it was no bother, but everyday the same crap BOTHERS. I am beyond tired... I'm trying to see anything positive, ANYTHING... but I guess my sight is really bad because I can see absolutely nothing. He never has a smile for me, he is always mad about something, his attitude stinks... And his promises are as empty as I feel. What can I believe, from him? Each day he proves even more that we do not belong. I try to see the bright side, but there's none. Requiem for the dead.
To work now...
To work now...
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Anything for you
Though you're not here
Since you said we're through
It seems like years
Time keeps draggin on and on
And forever's been and gone
Still I can't figure what went wrong
I'd still do anything for you
I'll play your game
You hurt me through and through
But you can have your way
I can pretend each time I see you
That I don't care and I don't need you
And though you'll never see me cryin'
You know inside I feel like dying
And I'd do anything for you
In spite of it all
I've learned so much from you
You made me strong
But don't you ever think that I don't love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don't work out right
And you just have to say goodbye
I hope you find someone to please you
Someone who'll care and never leave you
But if that someone ever hurts you
You just might need a friend to turn to
And I'd do anything for you
I'll give you up
If that's what I should do
To make you happy
I can pretend each time I see you
That I don't care and I don't need you
And though inside I feel like dying
You know you'll never see me crying
Don't you ever think that I don't love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don't work out right
And you just have to say goodbye
-Gloria Estefan, "Anything for you"
Dedicated a long time ago to someone very, very dear to me...
Though you're not here
Since you said we're through
It seems like years
Time keeps draggin on and on
And forever's been and gone
Still I can't figure what went wrong
I'd still do anything for you
I'll play your game
You hurt me through and through
But you can have your way
I can pretend each time I see you
That I don't care and I don't need you
And though you'll never see me cryin'
You know inside I feel like dying
And I'd do anything for you
In spite of it all
I've learned so much from you
You made me strong
But don't you ever think that I don't love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don't work out right
And you just have to say goodbye
I hope you find someone to please you
Someone who'll care and never leave you
But if that someone ever hurts you
You just might need a friend to turn to
And I'd do anything for you
I'll give you up
If that's what I should do
To make you happy
I can pretend each time I see you
That I don't care and I don't need you
And though inside I feel like dying
You know you'll never see me crying
Don't you ever think that I don't love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don't work out right
And you just have to say goodbye
-Gloria Estefan, "Anything for you"
Dedicated a long time ago to someone very, very dear to me...
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
I can hear the heart beating
I can feel the beating fading
I can fade as I hear the call…
Walk as if you were none…
Why is it that skulls crawl from their tomb,
Seek the innocent, feed from their blood
As inner demons ascend in haste
Summoning oblivion and decadence?
Alas! Roam, Beast, into the Darkness
But beware the shining lance that gleams,
The Slayer shall hunt Fiend and Unholy
Patiently it waits for your reckoning.
Come forth, Death, laugh at my face
Feast on the reaps of fruitless harvest
Pick the sour wines of lies and youth
Drink from Mnemousine, call forth Ares
Invoke the Fates and break the loom
Hear the beating, Feel the fading
Hear the call…
Thou shall never cage Nike or Hope
Grim gargoyles watch your sleep
Beware the night, forever awake
I am the Sentinel of Madness born
I am the Messenger of Faith.
I can feel the beating fading
I can fade as I hear the call…
Walk as if you were none…
Why is it that skulls crawl from their tomb,
Seek the innocent, feed from their blood
As inner demons ascend in haste
Summoning oblivion and decadence?
Alas! Roam, Beast, into the Darkness
But beware the shining lance that gleams,
The Slayer shall hunt Fiend and Unholy
Patiently it waits for your reckoning.
Come forth, Death, laugh at my face
Feast on the reaps of fruitless harvest
Pick the sour wines of lies and youth
Drink from Mnemousine, call forth Ares
Invoke the Fates and break the loom
Hear the beating, Feel the fading
Hear the call…
Thou shall never cage Nike or Hope
Grim gargoyles watch your sleep
Beware the night, forever awake
I am the Sentinel of Madness born
I am the Messenger of Faith.
Monday, September 20, 2004
Here I am, myself, my own… Breathing fire, sulfur and stones… Punishment going deep within my veins, the magma slowly destroying what is within the reins zenith of my core… Rage, and bitter torment… Memories tossing the sands of time to my face, each fragment going skin deep, crawling towards the bones to feed from their hollow mask. How sad when you walk through the woods and the ever sentient poison ivy ensnares you without a warning, without mercy or pity! The screams can echo through the lands, but the voice is empty, silent, void… Mirages that appear too real, but they are only what they can be… Drops fall one by one, dripping in unison, eerie music for the marching souls that straighten up and go on following the leader's signal… Pyres burn in every dark corner, yet the darkness spreads engulfing it with its invisible breath… And so, here I am… Myself… My own.
* * *
Saturday: Gaming during the afternoon. LadyMex called about seeing Aurea, so I called Lucinda to see if she could go too. We stopped gaming at 8:30, Coriolis decided not to go with us because he has a child aversion syndrome… So we went to SanGerman and met a El Calvo's home. He was either absent, sleeping or hiding behind a curtain wishing for strangers to shoo away… LOL So, we passed by Aurea's. She was not there. So… Nothing else to do, right? Seemed like it. I went home, Lucinda was doing the same. And so we expected LadyMex to do the same… Next day I get a message from LadyMex… That she thought our journey to San Germán was a pointless waste of gasoline, and to call her if I wanted her to be part of things. ??????? Hellooooooooo? It's not like we all went there out of an astral travel or a wish or teleport spell… Lucinda went there in her car, I did the same. Why the complaining? We didn’t have money to go anywhere else or do anything else, and we were TIRED. So, what's the point of going around or crashing at someone's house if there's no will to do anything else? It all brings me to the great conclusion that it is better to pay for things than get them for free. Because I am in no mood for stupid attitudes, especially since I have no time to spare, I am constantly on the go, I'm constantly solving issues, and then this girl pours her frustration/anger/whatever it was on me… Shit! I am not the one that always has an excuse for everything, ESPECIALLY using the children as her biggest excuse. That speech of child abuse almost made me puke. Hellooo? I guess that things were easier in Mexico after all, no rules there! Geee! And so, a lovely evening with my beloved friends came to a conclusion… The quest for the Holy Grail made more sense…
LadyMex: Ok, let's put things in a simple way… so you understand… We went to Pabon's house. He was not there. Then we went to Aurea's house. She was not there. So… Oh! There is nowhere else to go to find what we were looking for. Home we go. I think it is quite simple. I do not have Pabóns phone number. I do not have Aurea's phone number. Each time I have to ask Pabón the simplest question, I travel all the way to his cave to get the answer, sometimes it takes 5 minutes betwee hello-question-goodbye. So, spare me your pitiful and lame attempt to make me feel guilty about something I am used to do. If people are not in their houses, and you have no money to go to the movies or to eat out, you go home. It's the sensible thing to do. So, why you MUST make a big issue out of it? You are not a martyr. The times of Crusades are over. The times of Chivalry are over. Men have visited the moon, wars keep on happening, a big storm hit us, and you complain about your having to spend 2 dollars on gas? Woman, you need a better psyquiatrist, the one that attends you is doing NOTHING for you. And spare me the "children" speech. I'm tired of it. Finally, you are part of the wedding if you want to. There is no obligation, and I know you are not thrilled about it. So big deal. If you wanna help when we need you, fine. If not, fine. I am used to do things alone, and I know I am NOT alone. Your self-pity and low self-esteem are appalling!
Lucinda: You were right. Go ahead, say it… You know u wanna say it… I'll play deaf while you say it, though…
Besides the friendly showdown, Sunday gave birth to the bi-monthly showdown that we always expect… Had a biggie with Groundel, again. Frustrating. Tiresome. Bothered. Angry. Why his brain cannot acknowledge common sense? It is so hard to do what you must… be a bit normal, for heaven's sake? Stop playing games, literally, 24/7? Grow up? What I have to do, put a nuclear bomb up your ass and send you to Saturn to implode there? Shheeeeeeshhh!!!
Anyway… It's Monday. Had to go to Aguadilla because the system was down… when I arrived it was up… Ok, so the system is male and reaaaaally loves me. LOL Whatever…
Me: I keep on being sad, but that is ok, I'm used to it by now. I definitively expect nothing from no one. I make my own little bubble around myself, it is gloomy and has no colors and I'll stay there forever and ever. My mind, my world, my problem. LOL Not thinking while working, not thinking while surfin', not thinking while sleeping… Better to be Vierna Darguth, Witch of the North, Great Shamaness who is old and wise and lives all alone in the highest mountain peaks of the Spine of the World… Sometimes solitude is the best remedy to every evil…
10-4
* * *
Saturday: Gaming during the afternoon. LadyMex called about seeing Aurea, so I called Lucinda to see if she could go too. We stopped gaming at 8:30, Coriolis decided not to go with us because he has a child aversion syndrome… So we went to SanGerman and met a El Calvo's home. He was either absent, sleeping or hiding behind a curtain wishing for strangers to shoo away… LOL So, we passed by Aurea's. She was not there. So… Nothing else to do, right? Seemed like it. I went home, Lucinda was doing the same. And so we expected LadyMex to do the same… Next day I get a message from LadyMex… That she thought our journey to San Germán was a pointless waste of gasoline, and to call her if I wanted her to be part of things. ??????? Hellooooooooo? It's not like we all went there out of an astral travel or a wish or teleport spell… Lucinda went there in her car, I did the same. Why the complaining? We didn’t have money to go anywhere else or do anything else, and we were TIRED. So, what's the point of going around or crashing at someone's house if there's no will to do anything else? It all brings me to the great conclusion that it is better to pay for things than get them for free. Because I am in no mood for stupid attitudes, especially since I have no time to spare, I am constantly on the go, I'm constantly solving issues, and then this girl pours her frustration/anger/whatever it was on me… Shit! I am not the one that always has an excuse for everything, ESPECIALLY using the children as her biggest excuse. That speech of child abuse almost made me puke. Hellooo? I guess that things were easier in Mexico after all, no rules there! Geee! And so, a lovely evening with my beloved friends came to a conclusion… The quest for the Holy Grail made more sense…
LadyMex: Ok, let's put things in a simple way… so you understand… We went to Pabon's house. He was not there. Then we went to Aurea's house. She was not there. So… Oh! There is nowhere else to go to find what we were looking for. Home we go. I think it is quite simple. I do not have Pabóns phone number. I do not have Aurea's phone number. Each time I have to ask Pabón the simplest question, I travel all the way to his cave to get the answer, sometimes it takes 5 minutes betwee hello-question-goodbye. So, spare me your pitiful and lame attempt to make me feel guilty about something I am used to do. If people are not in their houses, and you have no money to go to the movies or to eat out, you go home. It's the sensible thing to do. So, why you MUST make a big issue out of it? You are not a martyr. The times of Crusades are over. The times of Chivalry are over. Men have visited the moon, wars keep on happening, a big storm hit us, and you complain about your having to spend 2 dollars on gas? Woman, you need a better psyquiatrist, the one that attends you is doing NOTHING for you. And spare me the "children" speech. I'm tired of it. Finally, you are part of the wedding if you want to. There is no obligation, and I know you are not thrilled about it. So big deal. If you wanna help when we need you, fine. If not, fine. I am used to do things alone, and I know I am NOT alone. Your self-pity and low self-esteem are appalling!
Lucinda: You were right. Go ahead, say it… You know u wanna say it… I'll play deaf while you say it, though…
Besides the friendly showdown, Sunday gave birth to the bi-monthly showdown that we always expect… Had a biggie with Groundel, again. Frustrating. Tiresome. Bothered. Angry. Why his brain cannot acknowledge common sense? It is so hard to do what you must… be a bit normal, for heaven's sake? Stop playing games, literally, 24/7? Grow up? What I have to do, put a nuclear bomb up your ass and send you to Saturn to implode there? Shheeeeeeshhh!!!
Anyway… It's Monday. Had to go to Aguadilla because the system was down… when I arrived it was up… Ok, so the system is male and reaaaaally loves me. LOL Whatever…
Me: I keep on being sad, but that is ok, I'm used to it by now. I definitively expect nothing from no one. I make my own little bubble around myself, it is gloomy and has no colors and I'll stay there forever and ever. My mind, my world, my problem. LOL Not thinking while working, not thinking while surfin', not thinking while sleeping… Better to be Vierna Darguth, Witch of the North, Great Shamaness who is old and wise and lives all alone in the highest mountain peaks of the Spine of the World… Sometimes solitude is the best remedy to every evil…
10-4
Saturday, September 18, 2004
| Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan! |
 You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind! |
Well, last night a Coriolis appeared in Mayaguez. He called up and invite us to dinner. We accepted, although we were already having pizza… better for him, we were cheap to spoil. :) We went to this place that may be ok to many but personally I think it is too expensive. I just view that a dinner should be fulfilling but also affordable… Always looking for bargains and deals… I feel bad that he has to pay for everything, no matter if he can, no matter it is his call, no matter he just do so because he likes us. I feel like a CARE child, always asking him to pay whenever he is around, or whenever I go over to Metro area… He knows I do so because I really cannot pay, but hey… I just feel bad. I am supposed to be a professional that can take care of anything, but in reality all I do is pay, pay, pay and keep on paying. I cannot spoil myself. I have too many obligations, so real life has made me… cheap? LOL In matters of money ONLY. At least now I am ok with the rent and phone bill. By November the car’s last payment will fly away, and so I’ll be able to put the other debts "al día". I must just think: One more year. I know that’s all that’s left on the 2 cards and 2 loans… By Nov next year, I’ll be free of the 4 of them, and then I will be able to do the sensible thing and have a savings account and a vacation account. Just one more year… I must focus on the speed of months passing by. And I must also focus on smiling and take things easy at work. A year can go fast, but can be quite a torment when working in the wrong environment…
Me: I feel between crossroads. I feel deeply sad when I should be bursting with joy. I am contempt and I acknowledge my life is not so bad… I just get discouraged because I have to take decisions 24/7, and I can rely on nobody to do the things that must be done. I am the commander in charge, the guidance, the lighthouse that lits the night so boats do not crash… And I guess tha right now the only thing that really scares me is that no one around me has the same ability or capacity to take charge and make things happen. I am tired of being the thinking head of so many, of pushing people towards what is right even if I must appear to be pushy and bossy… I always put the common good before my own good. I have put others lives before my own life. And I do not complain, I LIKE making a difference even if it is at small scale… If I could I would go big scale, but money moves this world, and one against the world is a tought, tiresome job that taxes one’s will… Baby steps. If I can change one life at least, in my lifetime, for the better, then things are worth the bother. I complain, I must admit that. And it sucks. I have all this plans and projects in my brain… And no one to help me do them. And between the trying to achieve my goals, working, helping people and taking care of my kitties the days pass too quickly to count… I am 31, and I feel I have accomplish nothing in my lifetime. Those around me would dissagree. I finished my Master studies two years ago, I finished my two BA’s six years ago, I have more than 8 years of experience working with computers, giving end user service and training… I paint ever since I was 5 years old in any media… I have been working member of diverse clubs at school: English, Spanish, Missionary Works… I was president of the Science Fiction club at college… I have taken training over in continental USA, and have visited sites at the US for work purposes… I excell in my job, and I excell as a student… I know that. I just know I was meant to do something more. And that is my biggest problem. I am too creative to stale being a technician… By now I should be a supervisor, or work at an Advertising company or in the media… Do theater works, do Scenography, publish books, make true the two business I’ve always wanted to create… I was born to be a leader, to create at any level and to awe the world. I feel I am rotting in my job. So many talents, and the go unnoticed… or the oppossite… people knows, and their envy turns them against me. In reality that sucks too, because whoever looks for me for help, I do help. If anyone asks me anything, I answer. If enyone wants to know how to do something I do, I teach. I am not selfish with my knowledge or talents. Damnit, I decorate and do scenographies for activities for free! Just because I like it and it feels good. I just hate that people believe what I do is an obligation of sorts, and that in all my life I have only been thanked 2 times for my creative arts. Two out of more than thirty… Can you believe I made a scenography for a play, and I was not even invited to the play? I saw the finished work on pictures. That was thoughtless and plainly wrong, and a lesson I won’t forget. That’s why I do things when I feel doing them, because I know waiting for thanks or rewards is just wishful thinking… My art is not so plain, it has details and my personal touches. I do it for me. A pity people don’t get it. And I mean my art in painting, writing, designing, marketing… I have many skills… It is frustrating that I must display them for free because in this friggin island no one appreciates a middle class person with outstanding and unique talents... I was born in the wrong era, in the wrong place, in the wrong family... Or perhaps that is the point after, God's’sense of humor and His ability to make us feel helpless and then WHAM! Something big happens… I just KNOW I was meant to do BIG things… How, when and why… That’s the mistery. I just hope that the belief fuels me to keep going, to stand against the crowd if I must, to fight for those who can’t… I am the Lawful Good Paladin after all… with chaotic impulses… Always Blaze…
I feel sad because I have loved with all I have, and I have never received love at that same level of intensity. Things would be easier if I had a mate that stood by my side having the same line of thoughts and the will to fight anything, and the belief that no matter the odds we will make it. But… Ironically enough that person is not even Trilogy. He knows who he is. And he chose a long time ago to have me as a friend, forever. So… It is sad to know the right person for you, to trust him with everything, to know he trusts you with everything, but to know that although we will always be together we will always be appart. He showed me that having feelings is not a bad thing, as I used to be so… dry and commanding… Now I’m smoochie and commanding! LOL
Whatever… I guess that’s why no matter why, I’m always sad. I know my answers after all.
So, I bent my forever thoughts towards Trilogy. What a mistake… A man that will never come forth to claim me… A man who wastes his youth and energy into nothing… A pity… I could have made a difference in his life, if only he had fought for me. But he didn’t. And so, the maiden was never rescued. And so, she stayed with the Darklord. And died.
So, here I stand, with a Darklord that is always punished by the mists with nightmares that twist reality with shadows… Me being an undead paladin… Ravenloft has ways of having fun, doesn’t it? I cannot say if I will make a difference with him, but I know that either the Land releases him, or I will have to vanquish him. Always the warrior, always the priestess. Always myself.
10-4
Me: I feel between crossroads. I feel deeply sad when I should be bursting with joy. I am contempt and I acknowledge my life is not so bad… I just get discouraged because I have to take decisions 24/7, and I can rely on nobody to do the things that must be done. I am the commander in charge, the guidance, the lighthouse that lits the night so boats do not crash… And I guess tha right now the only thing that really scares me is that no one around me has the same ability or capacity to take charge and make things happen. I am tired of being the thinking head of so many, of pushing people towards what is right even if I must appear to be pushy and bossy… I always put the common good before my own good. I have put others lives before my own life. And I do not complain, I LIKE making a difference even if it is at small scale… If I could I would go big scale, but money moves this world, and one against the world is a tought, tiresome job that taxes one’s will… Baby steps. If I can change one life at least, in my lifetime, for the better, then things are worth the bother. I complain, I must admit that
I feel sad because I have loved with all I have, and I have never received love at that same level of intensity. Things would be easier if I had a mate that stood by my side having the same line of thoughts and the will to fight anything, and the belief that no matter the odds we will make it. But… Ironically enough that person is not even Trilogy. He knows who he is. And he chose a long time ago to have me as a friend, forever. So… It is sad to know the right person for you, to trust him with everything, to know he trusts you with everything, but to know that although we will always be together we will always be appart. He showed me that having feelings is not a bad thing, as I used to be so… dry and commanding… Now I’m smoochie and commanding! LOL
Whatever… I guess that’s why no matter why, I’m always sad. I know my answers after all.
So, I bent my forever thoughts towards Trilogy. What a mistake… A man that will never come forth to claim me… A man who wastes his youth and energy into nothing… A pity… I could have made a difference in his life, if only he had fought for me. But he didn’t. And so, the maiden was never rescued. And so, she stayed with the Darklord. And died.
So, here I stand, with a Darklord that is always punished by the mists with nightmares that twist reality with shadows… Me being an undead paladin… Ravenloft has ways of having fun, doesn’t it? I cannot say if I will make a difference with him, but I know that either the Land releases him, or I will have to vanquish him. Always the warrior, always the priestess. Always myself.
10-4
Friday, September 17, 2004
No sé lo que he soñado
en la noche pasada;
triste muy triste debió ser el sueño,
pues despierto la angustia me duraba.
Noté al incorporarme
húmeda la almohada,
y por primera vez sentí al notarlo
de un amargo placer henchirse el alma.
Triste cosa es el sueño
que llanto nos arranca,
mas tengo en mi tristeza una alegría...
sé que aún me quedan lágrimas.
-Gustavo A. Bécquer, RIMA LXVIII
en la noche pasada;
triste muy triste debió ser el sueño,
pues despierto la angustia me duraba.
Noté al incorporarme
húmeda la almohada,
y por primera vez sentí al notarlo
de un amargo placer henchirse el alma.
Triste cosa es el sueño
que llanto nos arranca,
mas tengo en mi tristeza una alegría...
sé que aún me quedan lágrimas.
-Gustavo A. Bécquer, RIMA LXVIII
Friday. No work today either. Light and water are back. Nothing like A/C on a sunny day. The kitties misbehaving as usual.
Coriolis birthday was yesterday. Hail the Evil Priest of Set!!! :)
Not many events to talk about… Trying to gather money for the rent, at least just 2 more payments for the car and THAT will be over, AMEN!!!
Six weeks until the bells toll for me… Creepy, huh?
10-4
Coriolis birthday was yesterday. Hail the Evil Priest of Set!!! :)
Not many events to talk about… Trying to gather money for the rent, at least just 2 more payments for the car and THAT will be over, AMEN!!!
Six weeks until the bells toll for me… Creepy, huh?
10-4
Thursday, September 16, 2004
The worst part of the tropical storm is over. It has been 2 days of chaos at my aunt's house... She complains for everything, fights for everything and has been too nervous and driving me crazy. Well, all of us managed not to kill each other. I am feeling terrible, seems I've got a fever plus some magical bonuses... I just wanna go to the peace & quiet of my home. I hope it didnt get flooded, that would be a greater headache.
Setito has been misbehaving. He has not allowed me to sleep. I'm on the edge of doing kitty sushi... Grrr... Isis has been the oppossite, looking for me beying her lovely loyal self.
Had a fight with Groundelette thanks to her Fabio deals. I am getting sick and tired of a guy that wont eat and wont let her eat, plus that calls me names without knowing me. I have every right to tease him, after all I am not insulting him just bothering him which is enough for me. It is anoying that I pay for the phone yet I am the last one to know it's been used. I have been nice and polite about it, joking around the truth taking people's feelings into consideration BUT I am tired of being goody goody miss Tolerance. I was taught ever since I was small to ASK before taking, even to do so when I wanted juice from the fridge in MY house. I get VERY upset when my ownership is desecrated by disrespectful ignorance. I TRY to understand youth, but it is all simply too appalling. What is so WRONG with young people today? What is so wrong about courtesy and manners and consideration and respect? Example: If I turn off all lights while someone is chatting on the net, what should be the course of action? My mind thinks: She will get that we should ALL go to sleep. Her mind seems to get: Cool! Up all night chatting! At last the Internet is for myself! Yayyy! Hmmm... I understand the feeling of having to wait around for using a ohone or the net... I understand the craving to chat, I used to chat nonstop like 15 years ago... But, but, BUT... Check mails, post blog, chat an hour if you know that the computer you are using is not yours, if you know you must use a phone line which is the only means of communication with the outside world, and finally, go to sleep when everyone else does!
Reality check: I login to browse stuff for the wedding during weekdays, and to check my mail. I stop by 10pm because I have to get up at 6am to go to WORK. Same with Groundel. If I stay on Friday logged on from 5pm to 3am is ok because there is NO work the next day. I have been tolerating lights after 10pm, chat after 12pm, and it's simply not funny. The cats make enough noise to add to it. I am not like Groundel who can sleep in plain sunlight... I need TOTAL DARKNESS to sleep. I mentioned this a few weeks ago... and it fell on deaf ears... Plus I am target of comments about being online from my arrival to my sleep... Hellooooo! If I want to be online 24/7 is MY business, I pay for the phone! And the bill always go over a hundred. So, I stick my tongue out of my mouth to you people! Grow up! And if you cannot take jokes or advises, well, fuck you!
Fabio: An asswipe that feigns ignorance and takes complete advantage of Groundelette's gullible willingness... His so called big problems are laughable. He wants to die but faints at the sight of blood, PLUS he is protestant yet continuously dares God patence stating he wants to die... Don't you know that is no joke, especially to God? Just thinking about it is a sin... And you go to church and act as if you had true faith... Only on the holy days of the week of course Que bueno es predicar la moral en calzoncillos! The same "religious" guy swears all the time and calls every woman even if they have never met him a bitch. Mister, do you KNOW the true meaning of the word BITCH? It is not pretty, it is not nice to call a lady a bitch, and it is completely disrespectful and denigrating to any woman. I am older than you, I can easily spank you, but I fear then you might like it! I joke and have an attitude, but I have been studying all my life, I have a bachelor's degree, a master's degree, training courses, and other studies because I felt like it. I am a professional, and in my job noone can complain about my services. And I may not be an active catholic but I do have a code of honor for which I live, I believe in God and try to make Him smile EVERYDAY. Soooo... What can you say about yourself, puppy? This bitch can take you anytime and destroy you if she wanted to. So I suggest you get the true facts about who you decide to mess with... And take the facts like a MAN. To close, your playing with Groundelette leaves much to say about you, coward. Same about your trying to simply avoid me. What you have to fear? I am truth. And I fear nothing.
Breathe in, breathe out...
Groundelette: I can say Absolutely No Regrets because I am very transparent and I do give many chances. I expect a 21 year old that can think beyond surfaces. So you better grow up and get to that place. "Nuff said.
Breath in, breathe out...
Groundel: I expect YOU to be a MAN as well... Gosh, there seems to be a lack of true men around! I have no place for cowards and I am fed up with having to do things by myself and to simply fight the WORLD all by myself. Especially when I am right. Especially when I give everything to everyone around me, with plenty of love and hope. "Nuff said.
Coriolis: Where in Hell are you, Carmen Sandiego? Damn!
I am pissed, sleepy, mad, angry, and by the complete quorum... simply bitchy.
10-4
Setito has been misbehaving. He has not allowed me to sleep. I'm on the edge of doing kitty sushi... Grrr... Isis has been the oppossite, looking for me beying her lovely loyal self.
Had a fight with Groundelette thanks to her Fabio deals. I am getting sick and tired of a guy that wont eat and wont let her eat, plus that calls me names without knowing me. I have every right to tease him, after all I am not insulting him just bothering him which is enough for me. It is anoying that I pay for the phone yet I am the last one to know it's been used. I have been nice and polite about it, joking around the truth taking people's feelings into consideration BUT I am tired of being goody goody miss Tolerance. I was taught ever since I was small to ASK before taking, even to do so when I wanted juice from the fridge in MY house. I get VERY upset when my ownership is desecrated by disrespectful ignorance. I TRY to understand youth, but it is all simply too appalling. What is so WRONG with young people today? What is so wrong about courtesy and manners and consideration and respect? Example: If I turn off all lights while someone is chatting on the net, what should be the course of action? My mind thinks: She will get that we should ALL go to sleep. Her mind seems to get: Cool! Up all night chatting! At last the Internet is for myself! Yayyy! Hmmm... I understand the feeling of having to wait around for using a ohone or the net... I understand the craving to chat, I used to chat nonstop like 15 years ago... But, but, BUT... Check mails, post blog, chat an hour if you know that the computer you are using is not yours, if you know you must use a phone line which is the only means of communication with the outside world, and finally, go to sleep when everyone else does!
Reality check: I login to browse stuff for the wedding during weekdays, and to check my mail. I stop by 10pm because I have to get up at 6am to go to WORK. Same with Groundel. If I stay on Friday logged on from 5pm to 3am is ok because there is NO work the next day.
Fabio: An asswipe that feigns ignorance and takes complete advantage of Groundelette's gullible willingness... His so called big problems are laughable. He wants to die but faints at the sight of blood, PLUS he is protestant yet continuously dares God patence stating he wants to die... Don't you know that is no joke, especially to God? Just thinking about it is a sin... And you go to church and act as if you had true faith... Only on the holy days of the week of course
Breathe in, breathe out...
Groundelette: I can say Absolutely No Regrets because I am very transparent and I do give many chances. I expect a 21 year old that can think beyond surfaces. So you better grow up and get to that place. "Nuff said.
Breath in, breathe out...
Groundel: I expect YOU to be a MAN as well... Gosh, there seems to be a lack of true men around! I have no place for cowards and I am fed up with having to do things by myself and to simply fight the WORLD all by myself. Especially when I am right. Especially when I give everything to everyone around me, with plenty of love and hope. "Nuff said.
Coriolis: Where in Hell are you, Carmen Sandiego? Damn!
I am pissed, sleepy, mad, angry, and by the complete quorum... simply bitchy.
10-4
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Tropical storm Jeanne will give a slight blink as any good genie would, and will pass quickly and swiftly, leaving much rain on her way. Great, more rain… And the forecast says it will be around 9 inches of rain, so… flood alerts… Gee, we don’t even need tropical storms and there are floods (like last week around the old highway between SanGermán and CaboRojo… Every piece of earth within the isle is saturated with water, so… its almost like a hurricane type 1 –2 will strike us… Jeanne, always making mischief to get her master’s attention… Seems Ivan the Terrible left his genie sealed in the bottle for too long, and she wants revenge! Buahahahah!
No, not in drugs… LOL I am naturally tripping and insine… Kapish?
So… Last night was too tired to do anything, so just had fun browsing the net for the perfect elven ring, and for my aunt’s attire (still going)… Today I went to RUM and solved things quickly… Ah, mostly the big problems there at the pieces in front of the keyboard, and cannot replace those! ;)
Everyone is getting ready for floods and so, its almost as if a hurricane were about to hit. Everyone is alert and cranky and in expectation… Will the Gobe give the day free tomorrow? The world may never know…
I may be going to San Juan on Friday to attend a meeting. God answered my prayers and a client will force the administration to make a travel over to Area Metro, so I can join… I cannot travel that far with my car, it is about to RIP unless it gets some sugar, and I cannot do that until December… Sooooo…. It is all a matter of finding ways to solve little problems and go on.
Enough about natural catastrophes and work… or at least about work. I think Michita still has parasites, so I will have to go through Phase 2 of Attack of the Worms tonight… and exterminate them! (the parasites, NOT the kitties!) :) at least she looks much more alive, reacting and running and prancing happily around the house. Ah, so maternal, running loose with the kiddies… And Cyric FINALLY began to eat solid food, so it’s another headache that ends. He was worrying me, since he would keep on stalking Michita for milk and would not even approach the plates. I had to bribe him into discovering the wonders of a plate that wont move, with milk that wont run away LOL And then it all hit him "Hey… I don’t have to stalk this food!" Poor Cyric, he is a bit of a moron… but he’s cute. The new problem is that both Cyric and Kyonne are getting fond of using the comforter to pee… which makes me want to kill them… but they will get the point of the litter after they lern the meaning of the word NO.
Gotta show Groundelette how to make the centerpieces for the pumpkin charriots. That will be one of the things to do tonight… Need to start putting together the invitations as well. And need to check ebay to see if I got to sell something. Money money money is all you need…
The A/C is too high, getting sleepy and freezing to death. I need to get some earplugs, the noise from the servers is making me deaf.
10-4
No, not in drugs… LOL I am naturally tripping and insine… Kapish?
So… Last night was too tired to do anything, so just had fun browsing the net for the perfect elven ring, and for my aunt’s attire (still going)… Today I went to RUM and solved things quickly… Ah, mostly the big problems there at the pieces in front of the keyboard, and cannot replace those! ;)
Everyone is getting ready for floods and so, its almost as if a hurricane were about to hit. Everyone is alert and cranky and in expectation… Will the Gobe give the day free tomorrow? The world may never know…
I may be going to San Juan on Friday to attend a meeting. God answered my prayers and a client will force the administration to make a travel over to Area Metro, so I can join… I cannot travel that far with my car, it is about to RIP unless it gets some sugar, and I cannot do that until December… Sooooo…. It is all a matter of finding ways to solve little problems and go on.
Enough about natural catastrophes and work… or at least about work. I think Michita still has parasites, so I will have to go through Phase 2 of Attack of the Worms tonight… and exterminate them! (the parasites, NOT the kitties!) :) at least she looks much more alive, reacting and running and prancing happily around the house. Ah, so maternal, running loose with the kiddies… And Cyric FINALLY began to eat solid food, so it’s another headache that ends. He was worrying me, since he would keep on stalking Michita for milk and would not even approach the plates. I had to bribe him into discovering the wonders of a plate that wont move, with milk that wont run away LOL And then it all hit him "Hey… I don’t have to stalk this food!" Poor Cyric, he is a bit of a moron… but he’s cute. The new problem is that both Cyric and Kyonne are getting fond of using the comforter to pee… which makes me want to kill them… but they will get the point of the litter after they lern the meaning of the word NO.
Gotta show Groundelette how to make the centerpieces for the pumpkin charriots. That will be one of the things to do tonight… Need to start putting together the invitations as well. And need to check ebay to see if I got to sell something. Money money money is all you need…
The A/C is too high, getting sleepy and freezing to death. I need to get some earplugs, the noise from the servers is making me deaf.
10-4
Monday, September 13, 2004
Borrowed this questionnaire from Vero... Yup, that bored... ;)
01. Di algo para comenzar: Estoy rodeada de idiotas…
02. ¿Qué hora es?: 7:30PM
03. ¿Qué hora te gustaría que fuese?: 12 AM, Witching Hour Buahahahahahah
04. ¿A qué edad has tenido tu primera relación?: Los extraterrestres me llevaron por muchos meses y no recuerdo nada…
05. Di algo que te gustaría poseer en estos momentos: Una casa con 4 cuartos, family, kittyroom, sala, comedor, cocina, 3 baños, laundry, hunting ground, mini-theater, gaming room, piscina y una Harley. En el patio una hermosa pareja de Rotties muy muy malos, y adentro mis 7 gatos. Ah, y por supuesto, comida en la alacena. LOL
06. ¿A quién sodomizarías en estos momentos?: Hmmm… Lista larga…
07. Di uno de tus fetiches: Bodybuilders con tatuajes de espalda completa y piercings en cejas y nariz… Tipo genio… Miauuuuuuuuuuuuu!
08. ¿Qué estás escuchando en estos momentos?: Bat Out of Hell de Meatloaf
09. Di tres cosas que hagas regularmente: Hacer planes para mi vida, surfear E-bay, escribir
10. ¿A quién le harías sexo oral?: Ewwwwwwwwww
11. ¿Te has desnudado alguna vez en público?: Y darle ese placer a la gente? Nah!
12. ¿De quiénes te gustaría ser el hijo bastardo?: John Lennon, LaoMa
13. Descríbete a tí mismo: Mercurial, creativa, terca, innovadora, soñadora, surreal, egocentrista, narcisista, trabajadora, estofona, perfeccionista, jodona, peleona, dominante
14. Di otra cosa a tu elección: No tengo la culpa de ser diferente
15. Baila SOBRE alguien que esté en tu lista de amigos: Yo no bailo
16. Baila CON alguien que esté en tu lista de amigos una canción a tu elección: eh… Yo no bailo Kapish?
17. ¿Cómo te gustaría que sea tu funeral?: Música movida, ropa negra de encaje, mucha comida.. Estilo funeral de jíbaros… con todo y lechón asao
18. ¿A casa de cuál de tus contactos irías a comer grátis regularmente?: Coriolis… LOL Siempre me invita a comer a Fudrockers :D
19. Sácate un moco y pégaselo a alguno de tus contactos en la punta de la nariz!: LOL Groundelette Look out!
20. ¿En qué pose te sacarías una foto porno?: No creo en el porno
21. ¿De qué canción harías un videoclip y cómo sería éste?: De "Palabras más, palabras menos" de Los Rodríguez… Me imagino pantalla negra con líricas de la cancion flotando etéreamente…
22. ¿Con quién y en dónde te fumarías un porro de marihuana?: No creo en las drogas
23. ¿A quiénes le darías una patada en el culo?: Wow! De gratis? LOL
24. ¿A quién le quemarías la casa?: Que feo. A nadie.
25. ¿A quién decapitarías con una motosierra?: Hmmm… Trilogy, Look Out!
26. ¿Con las cabezas de quién te gustaría decorar tu habitación?: LOL Para hacer mucho vudú…
27. ¿A quién le darías lástima porque no tienes amigos y no eres popular?: A toda la sociedad? Mucha gente piensa eso… Y total, no me interesa tener fan club ni me interesa tener muchos amigos. Los que tengo son exactamente los que necesito, y van a estar ahí siempre.
28. Si fueses una prenda de vestir, qué serías?: Un corsé victoriano violeta
29. Si fueses una criatura inexistente, qué serías?: un ave fénix
30. Di algo para finalizar: Derrota, qué derrota?
:P
01. Di algo para comenzar: Estoy rodeada de idiotas…
02. ¿Qué hora es?: 7:30PM
03. ¿Qué hora te gustaría que fuese?: 12 AM, Witching Hour Buahahahahahah
04. ¿A qué edad has tenido tu primera relación?: Los extraterrestres me llevaron por muchos meses y no recuerdo nada…
05. Di algo que te gustaría poseer en estos momentos: Una casa con 4 cuartos, family, kittyroom, sala, comedor, cocina, 3 baños, laundry, hunting ground, mini-theater, gaming room, piscina y una Harley. En el patio una hermosa pareja de Rotties muy muy malos, y adentro mis 7 gatos. Ah, y por supuesto, comida en la alacena. LOL
06. ¿A quién sodomizarías en estos momentos?: Hmmm… Lista larga…
07. Di uno de tus fetiches: Bodybuilders con tatuajes de espalda completa y piercings en cejas y nariz… Tipo genio… Miauuuuuuuuuuuuu!
08. ¿Qué estás escuchando en estos momentos?: Bat Out of Hell de Meatloaf
09. Di tres cosas que hagas regularmente: Hacer planes para mi vida, surfear E-bay, escribir
10. ¿A quién le harías sexo oral?: Ewwwwwwwwww
11. ¿Te has desnudado alguna vez en público?: Y darle ese placer a la gente? Nah!
12. ¿De quiénes te gustaría ser el hijo bastardo?: John Lennon, LaoMa
13. Descríbete a tí mismo: Mercurial, creativa, terca, innovadora, soñadora, surreal, egocentrista, narcisista, trabajadora, estofona, perfeccionista, jodona, peleona, dominante
14. Di otra cosa a tu elección: No tengo la culpa de ser diferente
15. Baila SOBRE alguien que esté en tu lista de amigos: Yo no bailo
16. Baila CON alguien que esté en tu lista de amigos una canción a tu elección: eh… Yo no bailo Kapish?
17. ¿Cómo te gustaría que sea tu funeral?: Música movida, ropa negra de encaje, mucha comida.. Estilo funeral de jíbaros… con todo y lechón asao
18. ¿A casa de cuál de tus contactos irías a comer grátis regularmente?: Coriolis… LOL Siempre me invita a comer a Fudrockers :D
19. Sácate un moco y pégaselo a alguno de tus contactos en la punta de la nariz!: LOL Groundelette Look out!
20. ¿En qué pose te sacarías una foto porno?: No creo en el porno
21. ¿De qué canción harías un videoclip y cómo sería éste?: De "Palabras más, palabras menos" de Los Rodríguez… Me imagino pantalla negra con líricas de la cancion flotando etéreamente…
22. ¿Con quién y en dónde te fumarías un porro de marihuana?: No creo en las drogas
23. ¿A quiénes le darías una patada en el culo?: Wow! De gratis? LOL
24. ¿A quién le quemarías la casa?: Que feo. A nadie.
25. ¿A quién decapitarías con una motosierra?: Hmmm… Trilogy, Look Out!
26. ¿Con las cabezas de quién te gustaría decorar tu habitación?: LOL Para hacer mucho vudú…
27. ¿A quién le darías lástima porque no tienes amigos y no eres popular?: A toda la sociedad? Mucha gente piensa eso… Y total, no me interesa tener fan club ni me interesa tener muchos amigos. Los que tengo son exactamente los que necesito, y van a estar ahí siempre.
28. Si fueses una prenda de vestir, qué serías?: Un corsé victoriano violeta
29. Si fueses una criatura inexistente, qué serías?: un ave fénix
30. Di algo para finalizar: Derrota, qué derrota?
:P
On Saturday had to go fetch the choker at Ponce. Since I had no money for nothing else, there were specials everywhere, especially at my favorite gothic store… Grrrrrr… So, we went back home, passed by auntie and then some seriuos surfing until 3am.
On Sunday, woke up around 12. Felt like continuing the scrapbook I’m putting together for the wedding. So, did serious scrapbooking until 10:30 PM. Nonstop paper mayhem… I was so concentrated I even skipped lunch! Damn! Well, finised the 1974-1992 part on the grooms side. Now, starting the groom’s family side. I hope I can finish it by this next weekend.
Groundelette has been developing some manual skills doing feathery stuff. She’s starting to get really good at it. Who knows, maybe if she puts her mind to it, she can do that for a living. Handling feathers should come naturally, after all, Fabio falls in that cathegory! LOL ;)
I’m tired, achy, and stressed. Dyed my hair as it was too faded. And no, I couldn’t do my roots. Damnit! People keep saying "but you have roots"… well, duh! But my bleached hair aint faded no more. I never care for roots. Whatever. Besides, I’m doing the roots in 2 weeks. Wanted to allow breathing room for my scalp, don’t want to go for the Stone Cold look yet.
Ah, I was really LMFAO hysterically while reading Vero’s misadventures… So she discovered tangible PROOF that AVO IS GAY!!! I knew it! I knew he would give in to the Dark Side! I knew it was a matter of time! Yayyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! May the light shine forever!!!! Hahahahahahah Tag! You are it!!!
Gotta find the seamstress so the final touches for the bridesmaids are taken care for. And gotta see who can do the friggin cake. Two or three small details, and the 2 big murals and everything should be at least decent. :)
Ahhhh, after all this I will focus on the business plan for the 2 businesses I want to create. One of them gotta make it next year… But that is another story.
10-4
On Sunday, woke up around 12. Felt like continuing the scrapbook I’m putting together for the wedding. So, did serious scrapbooking until 10:30 PM. Nonstop paper mayhem… I was so concentrated I even skipped lunch! Damn! Well, finised the 1974-1992 part on the grooms side. Now, starting the groom’s family side. I hope I can finish it by this next weekend.
Groundelette has been developing some manual skills doing feathery stuff. She’s starting to get really good at it. Who knows, maybe if she puts her mind to it, she can do that for a living. Handling feathers should come naturally, after all, Fabio falls in that cathegory! LOL ;)
I’m tired, achy, and stressed. Dyed my hair as it was too faded. And no, I couldn’t do my roots. Damnit! People keep saying "but you have roots"… well, duh! But my bleached hair aint faded no more. I never care for roots. Whatever. Besides, I’m doing the roots in 2 weeks. Wanted to allow breathing room for my scalp, don’t want to go for the Stone Cold look yet.
Ah, I was really LMFAO hysterically while reading Vero’s misadventures… So she discovered tangible PROOF that AVO IS GAY!!! I knew it! I knew he would give in to the Dark Side! I knew it was a matter of time! Yayyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! May the light shine forever!!!! Hahahahahahah Tag! You are it!!!
Gotta find the seamstress so the final touches for the bridesmaids are taken care for. And gotta see who can do the friggin cake. Two or three small details, and the 2 big murals and everything should be at least decent. :)
Ahhhh, after all this I will focus on the business plan for the 2 businesses I want to create. One of them gotta make it next year… But that is another story.
10-4
Thursday, September 09, 2004
The Greatest Show on Earth open its doors once more, featuring amazing acts and incredible ordeals! Come on in, and discover exotic animals, human plants and walking pillows! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! Lucky for us, the hurricane went west and away from the little island… 2 out of 2… Frances and Ivan are gone, I wonder if this luck will keep going? Puerto Rico is in no shape to withstand a hurricane, yesterday it was raining cats and dogs and there were floods EVERYWHERE. So imagine a hurricane…
Work: The same. Today will be a manifestation because of opposition to the reclassifications… The Union lacks good leaders and it all may flop, but whatever… They’ll do so at midday, and asked everyone to come dressed in black. Awwwwww, my dream comes true!!! Many Jedi’s roaming the place.
Friends: Turmoils on some lands, some people REALLY hate me (Yes!) and others cannot help but praise me (Heheheh). But overall things are quiet, mellow…
Groundelette and her Fabio crush are driving me nuts. Maybe that’s why I have this allergy, so many peaches make me sick? LOL At least they are talking to each other. I hope the asswipe gets to realize what a great gal she is, and makes an effort to try having something more than friendship with her. Under the scope… In the meanwhile been keeping her busy with house chores. Yesterday she did an almost perfect cleanup. Yayyyyyy!!!
Groundel is the same, working, trying to study. He gotta get a student loan to help with wedding expenses and to bring his mommy from NewJersey. We’ll keep that under the scope too…
Coriolis have been with some brainy issues lately. He’s discovered that he is half human after all and that sucks. LOL Anyway, taking into account the “ am alone in the world” “lone wolf" speeches, I would say that perhaps frustration is taking the best of him, … I know how he feels and it is a pity to say this but he had to go through all he has gone trough in matters of love so he discovered he has feelings and should be unafraid to show them. If he had this knowledge so many years ago in a galaxy far away, perhaps WE could have worked things out. But the lone wolf was very stubborn and closed to himself, selfish and intolerant. And still is, but only one thing is different: now he KNOWS he has feelings. Even if it bothered you, I am glad you have been going to that little brainy phase thanks to the unknown named lady. It reminded you that you are alive and that perhaps there are some things more important than logic. :) Oh yes, this is a late reaction to the questions because I was sleeping by the time, and it took me two days to analyze what I could remember. LOL Alzheimer…
HouseHunt: Looking for a bigger place at the same low price, sort of. Gotta be with 3-4 rooms and in a civilized area… no dwelling in the mountains, I’m a city slicker. Got two places, one for 275 and the other for 400… Gonna take a look, but still looking. If I can get the 275 that will be the winner. Lower than what I pay now and 3 rooms. And the 7 kitties will live happily too. :)
Wedding Stuff: Sent message to the bridal party so they know where we are and what needs to be done. Xladydeath has been helping a-lot with the invitations, so they may come out by Saturday. I am halfway with the centerpieces, and expect to have them done by tomorrow night. Gotta get the vases for the flower arrangements, may do so on Saturday since I’m going to Ponce hopefully with the right crew. Gotta get the last necklace, do some mystery shopping and then go to the bridal stuff place. Maybe some sightseeing afterwards, who knows, depends on budget and mood.
That’s about it for now. Peace and break a leg!
10-4
Work: The same. Today will be a manifestation because of opposition to the reclassifications… The Union lacks good leaders and it all may flop, but whatever… They’ll do so at midday, and asked everyone to come dressed in black. Awwwwww, my dream comes true!!! Many Jedi’s roaming the place.
Friends: Turmoils on some lands, some people REALLY hate me (Yes!) and others cannot help but praise me (Heheheh). But overall things are quiet, mellow…
Groundelette and her Fabio crush are driving me nuts. Maybe that’s why I have this allergy, so many peaches make me sick? LOL At least they are talking to each other. I hope the asswipe gets to realize what a great gal she is, and makes an effort to try having something more than friendship with her. Under the scope… In the meanwhile been keeping her busy with house chores. Yesterday she did an almost perfect cleanup. Yayyyyyy!!!
Groundel is the same, working, trying to study. He gotta get a student loan to help with wedding expenses and to bring his mommy from NewJersey. We’ll keep that under the scope too…
Coriolis have been with some brainy issues lately. He’s discovered that he is half human after all and that sucks. LOL Anyway, taking into account the “ am alone in the world” “lone wolf" speeches, I would say that perhaps frustration is taking the best of him, … I know how he feels and it is a pity to say this but he had to go through all he has gone trough in matters of love so he discovered he has feelings and should be unafraid to show them. If he had this knowledge so many years ago in a galaxy far away, perhaps WE could have worked things out. But the lone wolf was very stubborn and closed to himself, selfish and intolerant. And still is, but only one thing is different: now he KNOWS he has feelings. Even if it bothered you, I am glad you have been going to that little brainy phase thanks to the unknown named lady. It reminded you that you are alive and that perhaps there are some things more important than logic. :) Oh yes, this is a late reaction to the questions because I was sleeping by the time, and it took me two days to analyze what I could remember. LOL Alzheimer…
HouseHunt: Looking for a bigger place at the same low price, sort of. Gotta be with 3-4 rooms and in a civilized area… no dwelling in the mountains, I’m a city slicker. Got two places, one for 275 and the other for 400… Gonna take a look, but still looking. If I can get the 275 that will be the winner. Lower than what I pay now and 3 rooms. And the 7 kitties will live happily too. :)
Wedding Stuff: Sent message to the bridal party so they know where we are and what needs to be done.
That’s about it for now. Peace and break a leg!
10-4
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
It seems Hurricane Ivan will allow us to brathe a little and will just go straight ahead to the Dominican republic, Haiti, cuba and even Florida… Rain is in the menu for tomorrow… Damn, Florida is really, REALLY screwed up! Two hurricanes in a row! My honeymoon is supposed to be there, but I dunno… if this hurricane season remains so active, I may have to skip that as well. Better safe than sorry…
I am not so angry but only a bit mad to keep my status as Mad Witch ;) And I am commanding everyone around me so things get done fast and effectively. I made a budget of sorts, and if I manage to survive untill December, next year things may look up in that aspect. I hope my car holds on until January, so I can fix everything it has by then.
Looking for a project/housing for Michi’s family core. Hopefully they will get the 3-room apartment. If not they’ll have to look in Hormigueros project, or check other options.
I love my apartment and I hope to stay there… I may look into the Rio Cristal option and if I like the place and the pricing is lower and makes sense…THEN try to see if we can move there… After all, from studio to 3-roomed house is much better! I need the look-feel of space and order. I hate everything so crowded, even if I do take good advantage of the little space I have. J
Here is a simple questionnaire... Why not?
BASICS…
name = Kymill
piercings = ears, someday nose and bellybutton ;)
tattoos = none for now
height = 5'5
shoe size = 12
boot size= 13
hair color = black, unnanutaral red, unnatural violet, unnatural orange
siblings = edny, tricia, joseluis,luisfelipe
LAST...
movie you rented = hmmm… Pitch Black
movie you bought = not movie, Season 3 Xena
song you listened to = Palabras más, palabras menos (Los Rodríguez)
song that was stuck in your head = theme from Chicago… "They had it coming"
cd you bought = Last Samurai
cd you listened to = Celtic Songs collection
person you've called = edny
person that's called you = coriolis
tv show you've watched = What Not To Wear
person you were thinking of = trilogy
DO...
you have a crush on someone = Crushed? Always.
you wish you could live somewhere else = Yup
you think about suicide = Nope. Applying suicide to others, yup.
you believe in online dating = Not anymore
others find you attractive = Who can resist me? I’m a goddess!
you want more piercings = Yes, yes, yes
you like cleaning = Yes, I’m very tidy.
you like roller coasters = Hell No!
you write in cursive or print = love my cursive writing, beautiful Spanish letters
FOR OR AGAINST...
long distance relationships = been there, done that, didn’t believe, didn’t work
using someone = NEVER, completely against my code of honor
suicide = AGAINST suicide is for losers
killing people = AGAINST let them kill themselves
teenage smoking = AGAINST smoking brings cancer, plus more pollution… we are doomed…
driving drunk = AGAINST start by just drinking being a dumb thing to do…
gay/lesbian relationships = Whatever rocks your boat
soap operas = AGAINST they are always insulting people’s intelligence plus give a completely distorted expectation of life especially to bratty femmes who expect porince charming to chose them after having a thousand and one affairs…
HAVE YOU...
ever cried over a girl = yes
ever cried over a boy = yes
ever lied to someone = No. And sometimes that’s my biggest problem…
ever been in a fist fight = What!
ever been arrested = Never. I am extremely Lawful
WHAT...
shampoo do you use = Head&Shoulders, GenericMatrix
shoes do you wear = Pleasers and HotTopic
are you scared of = People’s Ignorance
NUMBER...
of times I have been in love? = 4
of times I have had my heart broken? = 100+
of hearts I have broken? = 4
of girls I have kissed? = 0
of boys I have kissed? = 6
of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = 2
of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = LOL I wish I could have that kind of promotion…
of scars on my body? = 2
of things in my past that I regret? = ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
pretty – DUH, I am a goddess, remember?
funny - Nope
hot – Sometimes
friendly – Not really.
amusing – Maybe, for elves only
ugly – An ogre would think that… They are plain stupid
loveable – Awwwwwww…
caring – Too much
sweet – and sour…
dorky – Im a techie and a nerd, duh!
PERSON WHO LAST
Slept in your bed: Crowito
Saw you cry: Crowito
Made you cry: Mistrita when she died
You went to the movies with: Groundel, Mike and Michi
Sent you an email: Too much SPAM
HAVE YOU EVER...?
Said "I love you" and meant it?: ALWAYS
Gone out in public in your pajamas: YUP
Cried during a movie: YUP
Ever at anytime owned new kids on the block stuff: I hated Menudo, soy that’s it for boy bands…
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: Oh, years ago, in a galaxy far away! LMFAO!
Been on stage: Yes, both creating and performing. I should have been an actress, scenographer or something…
Been to New York: Hell no!
Canada: Someday
Wished you were the opposite sex: I was in my past life, a male pirate
What time is it now?: Boring afternoon
Apples or bananas?: Hmm… Apples. Bananas have too much sugar…
Blue or red?: RED! FLAMES! FIRE! PASSION! ARIES!
Walmart or target?: If there was a Target in PR, that would be my choice… but being realistic… Walmart
Spring or Fall?: SPRING, BEGINNINGS, REBORN, ARIES.
What are you gonna do after you finish this?: Keep making my list for my so called wedding
What was the last meal? EggRoll and Sphagetti Chef Boyardee…
Are you bored?: DUH
Last noise you heard?: Stupid computer
Last smell you sniffed?: Lemonade
Last time you went out of state/province?: January, to Texas to see Daddy
FRIENDS/LOVE
Do you believe in love at first sight?: No
Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: Adopt? Yes. How many? 6. Adopted so we can play nonstop roleplaying games 24/7 Buahahahahah!
Most important thing to you in a friendship is: TRUST
OTHER INFO
Criminal record?: NONE thankuverymuch
Do you speak any other languages?: English-Spanish… may start with French soon
Last book you read: The Vampire Armand by Anne Rice
Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: My Anne rice book collection, my AD&D collection, my CDs collection, my weird hair extensions collection, my S&M collections, my Living Dead Dolls and Spawn and Xena figures collection, my XenaWP-WonderWoman-V-CaptainHarlock-Scifi Video-DVD collections, my dragon posters and dragon figures and dragon mural, my 7 kitties… need I go on?
Thing you dislike about yourself the most: Growing Up
Worst feeling in the world: Betrayal
Who you love: Family, friends, kitties and dragons
Who you miss: Trilogy
YOU
Nickname(s): kymill, vierna, blaze, deirdre, hivequeen,pompa
Initials: VRC
How old do you look?: 25
How old do you act?: 8?
Glasses/Contacts: both
Braces: no need, perfect teeth…
Do you have any pets?: Isis, Crow, Kyonnene, Kali, set, Michita, Cyric, Kyone2, Mistrita
You get embarrassed: Nope. I know myself too well to be embarassed.
What makes you happy?: Creating
What upsets you?: Injustice and Lies
FINISH THE SENTENCE:
I Love to... stare at myself in any shiny surface
I Miss... Kyonenne and Mistra
I Wish... I studied plastic arts or scenography
I Hope... that someday mankind is destroyed so elves, dwarves and halflings can live in harmony
I'm Annoyed by... pushy ignorant stupid people
I Am... almost perfect
I Want to Be... acnowledged as the powerful entity I am
I Would Never... betray my friends
I'd Rather... surf the Net
I Am Tired of... being a techie
I Will Always be... true to myself, insane, wicked, chaotic, opinionated, sassy, passionate, innocent, dreamer, fighter, seeker… a Dream to some but a Nightmare to others!
HAVE YOU EVER?
Thought you were going to die: Yup
Wanted to Run away: Always
Flunked a grade: Hell no! I’m a nerd, remember?
Skipped a grade: Helloooo!!! Are you deaf?
10-4
I am not so angry but only a bit mad to keep my status as Mad Witch ;) And I am commanding everyone around me so things get done fast and effectively. I made a budget of sorts, and if I manage to survive untill December, next year things may look up in that aspect. I hope my car holds on until January, so I can fix everything it has by then.
Looking for a project/housing for Michi’s family core. Hopefully they will get the 3-room apartment. If not they’ll have to look in Hormigueros project, or check other options.
I love my apartment and I hope to stay there… I may look into the Rio Cristal option and if I like the place and the pricing is lower and makes sense…THEN try to see if we can move there… After all, from studio to 3-roomed house is much better! I need the look-feel of space and order. I hate everything so crowded, even if I do take good advantage of the little space I have. J
Here is a simple questionnaire... Why not?
BASICS…
name = Kymill
piercings = ears, someday nose and bellybutton ;)
tattoos = none for now
height = 5'5
shoe size = 12
boot size= 13
hair color = black, unnanutaral red, unnatural violet, unnatural orange
siblings = edny, tricia, joseluis,luisfelipe
LAST...
movie you rented = hmmm… Pitch Black
movie you bought = not movie, Season 3 Xena
song you listened to = Palabras más, palabras menos (Los Rodríguez)
song that was stuck in your head = theme from Chicago… "They had it coming"
cd you bought = Last Samurai
cd you listened to = Celtic Songs collection
person you've called = edny
person that's called you = coriolis
tv show you've watched = What Not To Wear
person you were thinking of = trilogy
DO...
you have a crush on someone = Crushed? Always.
you wish you could live somewhere else = Yup
you think about suicide = Nope. Applying suicide to others, yup.
you believe in online dating = Not anymore
others find you attractive = Who can resist me? I’m a goddess!
you want more piercings = Yes, yes, yes
you like cleaning = Yes, I’m very tidy.
you like roller coasters = Hell No!
you write in cursive or print = love my cursive writing, beautiful Spanish letters
FOR OR AGAINST...
long distance relationships = been there, done that, didn’t believe, didn’t work
using someone = NEVER, completely against my code of honor
suicide = AGAINST suicide is for losers
killing people = AGAINST let them kill themselves
teenage smoking = AGAINST smoking brings cancer, plus more pollution… we are doomed…
driving drunk = AGAINST start by just drinking being a dumb thing to do…
gay/lesbian relationships = Whatever rocks your boat
soap operas = AGAINST they are always insulting people’s intelligence plus give a completely distorted expectation of life especially to bratty femmes who expect porince charming to chose them after having a thousand and one affairs…
HAVE YOU...
ever cried over a girl = yes
ever cried over a boy = yes
ever lied to someone = No. And sometimes that’s my biggest problem…
ever been in a fist fight = What!
ever been arrested = Never. I am extremely Lawful
WHAT...
shampoo do you use = Head&Shoulders, GenericMatrix
shoes do you wear = Pleasers and HotTopic
are you scared of = People’s Ignorance
NUMBER...
of times I have been in love? = 4
of times I have had my heart broken? = 100+
of hearts I have broken? = 4
of girls I have kissed? = 0
of boys I have kissed? = 6
of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = 2
of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = LOL I wish I could have that kind of promotion…
of scars on my body? = 2
of things in my past that I regret? = ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
pretty – DUH, I am a goddess, remember?
funny - Nope
hot – Sometimes
friendly – Not really.
amusing – Maybe, for elves only
ugly – An ogre would think that… They are plain stupid
loveable – Awwwwwww…
caring – Too much
sweet – and sour…
dorky – Im a techie and a nerd, duh!
PERSON WHO LAST
Slept in your bed: Crowito
Saw you cry: Crowito
Made you cry: Mistrita when she died
You went to the movies with: Groundel, Mike and Michi
Sent you an email: Too much SPAM
HAVE YOU EVER...?
Said "I love you" and meant it?: ALWAYS
Gone out in public in your pajamas: YUP
Cried during a movie: YUP
Ever at anytime owned new kids on the block stuff: I hated Menudo, soy that’s it for boy bands…
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: Oh, years ago, in a galaxy far away! LMFAO!
Been on stage: Yes, both creating and performing. I should have been an actress, scenographer or something…
Been to New York: Hell no!
Canada: Someday
Wished you were the opposite sex: I was in my past life, a male pirate
What time is it now?: Boring afternoon
Apples or bananas?: Hmm… Apples. Bananas have too much sugar…
Blue or red?: RED! FLAMES! FIRE! PASSION! ARIES!
Walmart or target?: If there was a Target in PR, that would be my choice… but being realistic… Walmart
Spring or Fall?: SPRING, BEGINNINGS, REBORN, ARIES.
What are you gonna do after you finish this?: Keep making my list for my so called wedding
What was the last meal? EggRoll and Sphagetti Chef Boyardee…
Are you bored?: DUH
Last noise you heard?: Stupid computer
Last smell you sniffed?: Lemonade
Last time you went out of state/province?: January, to Texas to see Daddy
FRIENDS/LOVE
Do you believe in love at first sight?: No
Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: Adopt? Yes. How many? 6. Adopted so we can play nonstop roleplaying games 24/7 Buahahahahah!
Most important thing to you in a friendship is: TRUST
OTHER INFO
Criminal record?: NONE thankuverymuch
Do you speak any other languages?: English-Spanish… may start with French soon
Last book you read: The Vampire Armand by Anne Rice
Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: My Anne rice book collection, my AD&D collection, my CDs collection, my weird hair extensions collection, my S&M collections, my Living Dead Dolls and Spawn and Xena figures collection, my XenaWP-WonderWoman-V-CaptainHarlock-Scifi Video-DVD collections, my dragon posters and dragon figures and dragon mural, my 7 kitties… need I go on?
Thing you dislike about yourself the most: Growing Up
Worst feeling in the world: Betrayal
Who you love: Family, friends, kitties and dragons
Who you miss: Trilogy
YOU
Nickname(s): kymill, vierna, blaze, deirdre, hivequeen,pompa
Initials: VRC
How old do you look?: 25
How old do you act?: 8?
Glasses/Contacts: both
Braces: no need, perfect teeth…
Do you have any pets?: Isis, Crow, Kyonnene, Kali, set, Michita, Cyric, Kyone2, Mistrita
You get embarrassed: Nope. I know myself too well to be embarassed.
What makes you happy?: Creating
What upsets you?: Injustice and Lies
FINISH THE SENTENCE:
I Love to... stare at myself in any shiny surface
I Miss... Kyonenne and Mistra
I Wish... I studied plastic arts or scenography
I Hope... that someday mankind is destroyed so elves, dwarves and halflings can live in harmony
I'm Annoyed by... pushy ignorant stupid people
I Am... almost perfect
I Want to Be... acnowledged as the powerful entity I am
I Would Never... betray my friends
I'd Rather... surf the Net
I Am Tired of... being a techie
I Will Always be... true to myself, insane, wicked, chaotic, opinionated, sassy, passionate, innocent, dreamer, fighter, seeker… a Dream to some but a Nightmare to others!
HAVE YOU EVER?
Thought you were going to die: Yup
Wanted to Run away: Always
Flunked a grade: Hell no! I’m a nerd, remember?
Skipped a grade: Helloooo!!! Are you deaf?
10-4
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Bridesmaids royal blue & white dresses arrived. They are gorgeous! I am speaking to the seamstress to make boleros for them, with the scarves they came with. And I'm looking for the perfect necklace-earring combos.
Tailcoats are still in process, but should arrive in 2 more weeks.
Groundel is risking a no at the altar... Let's see if his daring pays off.
Trilogy is still in the thinking process and I fear that his little black notebook is in growth... which makes me uneasy, some... His requests are plainly unfair as it all goes to his side, not a 50-50. We'll see what the outcome will be when my scout goes to get the truth. I will trust my scout's decision, even if I don't like it. Hey, it is the voice of my living Jimminy Cricket after all!
Human males... Cannot live with them... thinking of living without them... Maybe I should get me another elf... Nah! :)
AVO has a nice collection of songs in his blog. I hope this buddy gets what he deserves, his heart is solid gold. And yes, get a nice shave, YOU NEED IT MR.BEAR! ;)
Coriolis PROMISED to pass by this weekend... Ahem... We'll see...
Lucinda passed by the other day with Big Orc and Einstein. Pizza Pizza!! Yummy! Although my tummy was not up for it... Vomiting the whole day Thursday and tummy trouble on Friday... Someone wants me to vanish or something? Apendicitis? I hope not! That would be worst than Ivan coming our way! Damnit!
10-4
Tailcoats are still in process, but should arrive in 2 more weeks.
Groundel is risking a no at the altar... Let's see if his daring pays off.
Trilogy is still in the thinking process and I fear that his little black notebook is in growth... which makes me uneasy, some...
Human males... Cannot live with them... thinking of living without them... Maybe I should get me another elf... Nah! :)
AVO has a nice collection of songs in his blog. I hope this buddy gets what he deserves, his heart is solid gold. And yes, get a nice shave, YOU NEED IT MR.BEAR! ;)
Coriolis PROMISED to pass by this weekend...
Lucinda passed by the other day with Big Orc and Einstein. Pizza Pizza!! Yummy! Although my tummy was not up for it... Vomiting the whole day Thursday and tummy trouble on Friday...
10-4
Friday, September 03, 2004
Sometimes good times are just memories that are so far away that they fade into oblivion… I think that there aint much to do, there aint much to say… I am too angry and too ballistic to decide right now, but all my senses are telling me one fact that is irreversible and irrefutable: This is wrong. And my incstinct has never failed me. Groundel is just full of crap. And I am fed up of that crap. I am fed up on having so many responsabilities and so little consideration from everyone around me, especially him. I am fed up with being the “miracle doer” when problems arise, standing all by myself. I am fed up with being patient, and positive, and believing. I am fed up with having to pass as a “pendeja” just because… I am fed up.
Today I scream to the world I AM FED UP!!!!
Today I reclaim my old me, I change my name to Blaze Darkstream and I re-iniate my endless fight against injustice and evil!
Today I stand all over the little people, and embrace whom I am without any fear.
Today I see my true self, and I cry of joy at the realization that the more something changes, the more it stays the same. I have changed much, but the same stays:
I am in love with myself, first.
I am in love with my endless quest for justice.
I enjoy helping everyone, anytime.
I give much more than I have, expecting nothing.
I am a believer of truth, honor, courage, and valor.
I am a believer of faith.
I am a dreamer on a chaotic land.
I am a feminist in a macho-infested world.
I am free to do as I want, as I believe, as I know is right.
I have not been scared, but cautious. I am tired of caution. Aries is not about caution, but action. And I intend to act, no matter what.
I am enraged, yes… I am mad, yes… But since this rage and madness has been lingering for a long time, it is in truth a releasing experience in which I let go of false prophets and ideas. It is time for truth. I am fed up with lies.
I want truth! I am true, to my friends and to my loves, so I demand TRUTH.
In TRUTH shall I rest in peace, and arise as the vengeful spirit I am.
I am fed up with society and conformity.
I am fed up with being taken for granted.
I am fed up with swallowing lies and lies and lies.
I am fed up with staleness.
As William Wallace once screamed before dying and being dismembered: “FREEEEDDOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!”
Quote the raven “Nevermore”
10-4
Today I scream to the world I AM FED UP!!!!
Today I reclaim my old me, I change my name to Blaze Darkstream and I re-iniate my endless fight against injustice and evil!
Today I stand all over the little people, and embrace whom I am without any fear.
Today I see my true self, and I cry of joy at the realization that the more something changes, the more it stays the same. I have changed much, but the same stays:
I am in love with myself, first.
I am in love with my endless quest for justice.
I enjoy helping everyone, anytime.
I give much more than I have, expecting nothing.
I am a believer of truth, honor, courage, and valor.
I am a believer of faith.
I am a dreamer on a chaotic land.
I am a feminist in a macho-infested world.
I am free to do as I want, as I believe, as I know is right.
I have not been scared, but cautious. I am tired of caution. Aries is not about caution, but action. And I intend to act, no matter what.
I am enraged, yes… I am mad, yes… But since this rage and madness has been lingering for a long time, it is in truth a releasing experience in which I let go of false prophets and ideas. It is time for truth. I am fed up with lies.
I want truth! I am true, to my friends and to my loves, so I demand TRUTH.
In TRUTH shall I rest in peace, and arise as the vengeful spirit I am.
I am fed up with society and conformity.
I am fed up with being taken for granted.
I am fed up with swallowing lies and lies and lies.
I am fed up with staleness.
As William Wallace once screamed before dying and being dismembered: “FREEEEDDOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!”
Quote the raven “Nevermore”
10-4
Monday, August 30, 2004
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast
Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise
Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bitter sweet and strange Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast...
True as it can be
Barely even friends Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast
Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise
Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bitter sweet and strange Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast...
Sad... Some things can't change, others can change, others stale... The history of my life... Ah, whatever...
Frances hurricane will leave some winds and rain, but I don't expect much to happen. Acaban de decir que mañana gobierno no trabaja... Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Again, sad... Thinking of what could have been but wasn't...
Thinking of the One...
Thinking of the endless memories...
Thinking of the eternal promises...
Corn pops and milk...
Anarky and world domination...
Flames of Blaze consuming a vampyr...
The Age of Innocense...
16 years have passed, yet some things go beyong human count, beyond the realms of Dreaming, beyond hope...
Nonsense that means everything...
Danger... Dreaming... Lessons... Growth... Pain...
I shall go back to the shadows were I belong...
10-4
Frances hurricane will leave some winds and rain, but I don't expect much to happen. Acaban de decir que mañana gobierno no trabaja... Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Again, sad... Thinking of what could have been but wasn't...
Thinking of the One...
Thinking of the endless memories...
Thinking of the eternal promises...
Corn pops and milk...
Anarky and world domination...
Flames of Blaze consuming a vampyr...
The Age of Innocense...
16 years have passed, yet some things go beyong human count, beyond the realms of Dreaming, beyond hope...
Nonsense that means everything...
Danger... Dreaming... Lessons... Growth... Pain...
I shall go back to the shadows were I belong...
10-4
Saturday, August 28, 2004
7:30 AM The phone rings. I heard nothing. But Groundel did. He picks up and then he starts swearing after he hangs up. I wake up asking what's wrong. He said that this freaking guy called saying something wrong with the system blah blah. I get up to get dressed. He asks why. I said... Ugh... not a joke, we ARE working today. I must go to my office.
LOL He thought the guy was joking! OMG! I ran to my office and fix the small problems. And I am waiting until 10AM so if nothing else is wrong I shall depart... I am here, sitting in my office, bored as hell, VERY sleepy since I was up until 4AM looking for bairgains at ebay for needful stuff for the wedding. I am VERY sleepy, VERY tired... and the day promises to be frigging long! Going to take Groundelette to give more resumes, gonna take Kyo and Michi and Cyric to the vet in the late afternoon. And gotta finish the invitations tonight, plus do some scrapbooking. Yup, long day... Guess I wont be able to watch What Not To Wear tonight (my fav show of this season).
Gotta try to see if frigging Fabio passes by, so he gets some words from me. Asswipe. Groundelette should play pin the tail to the donkey with him. Grrrr...
Gonna try getting 1 of the 3 little thinguies I love so much at HT, my fav spot in the mall... Ok, my ONLY spot in the mall... I surrender! LOL
AVO sent me this hilarious link to a kitty video about a fishy song LMFAO!!!! I spent more than half and hour laughing! Thanks, Joe, needed the good laugh! :)
10-4
LOL He thought the guy was joking! OMG! I ran to my office and fix the small problems. And I am waiting until 10AM so if nothing else is wrong I shall depart... I am here, sitting in my office, bored as hell, VERY sleepy since I was up until 4AM looking for bairgains at ebay for needful stuff for the wedding.
Gotta try to see if frigging Fabio passes by, so he gets some words from me. Asswipe. Groundelette should play pin the tail to the donkey with him. Grrrr...
Gonna try getting 1 of the 3 little thinguies I love so much at HT, my fav spot in the mall... Ok, my ONLY spot in the mall... I surrender! LOL
AVO sent me this hilarious link to a kitty video about a fishy song LMFAO!!!! I spent more than half and hour laughing! Thanks, Joe, needed the good laugh! :)
10-4
Trilogy called today. Says the usual... Some emotion in his voice, but I just cannot believe him. It is as I say, actions speak louder than words. He may have/feel all the love in the world, but love doesnt pay bills, get a house or feed hunger. And he is still his lazyself... Can't expect him to change overnight, can I? He is starting school on the 30th, Tourism... at least that is something... I sincerely hope he can achieve that, so he can put to good use the hagling skills he has, and his vampiric charm. He may have all the good intentions, and he may actually be trying to do something, after the last 15 years... but I simply cannot sit and wait any longer. If he is to be with me, I put our destiny in Fate's hands. All I can do is keep going with my life... Until our lives can truly be joined... Someday.
Coriolis, Missing In Action... AGAIN.
Lucinda... Asleep by now.
10-4
Coriolis, Missing In Action... AGAIN.
Lucinda... Asleep by now.
10-4
Understandable? Reprehensible?
Ah! Ok, so I am trying to understand and reason WHY, WHY, WHY and I repeat WHY men cannot (or will not) make up their minds? Groundelette is having some trouble with her Fabio. Sheeesh, the guy HAS a gf up there in the big land of the American Dream and is uhhhh and ahhhh sighting for her, but he is over here in the Land of the Lost... hanging out with Groundelette all the time, calling her all the time and commanding her as if she were his gf... WTFk?? And if she aint around to answer him or listen to him he gets all emotionally irrationally cranky... Ahhh, but he says she is like a sister to him... Yeah, right! It is convenient for a guy to have a disposable do-it-all around while trying to keep the "faithful" frame with his gf... If the lass can be called that... Fabio is a vain, egotistical, absent minded, dumb, macho-type guy... If you ask me, he is a LOSER! He has PLENTY to learn from life, he thinks he is so important he makes me laugh. And he treats Groundelette like doggy's poo. I say down with the bastard. He doesn't deserve your heart, girl! Castration! Vindication by punishment! He needs a reality check, and oh-boy... Do I feel like giving him just that!
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
THE INCREDIBLY STUPID THINGS MEN DO...
AHHHHH! After reading NoShelll's rant one can only say that men can be the lowest scum alive. Why is it that so much self-sacrifice and faith and trust can be disposed off as simple as disposing off a used Kleenex? Ok... not ALL men are alike, but the few exceptions are halbreeds, not plainly human... or not human at all! Of the men I've know... Coriolis would be an exception because of his elvish ways, and AVO because of his half-gnomish bi-polar ways... But Trilogy was as self-absorved and cowardly unreliable as most men... And even Groundel can fall in that description... He's still working his way out of my humble opinion...
Why is it so hard for most men to simply stick to their logical truth? I mean... If you have something going on with someone, give the all or give nothing... Trust all or nothing... Believe all or simply walk away. Why get involved when they know they have their hearts set in something else... Or maybe just that they follow the crowd stronger than they could ever follow one lonesome love... even if it's the love of all times... the big soulmate... the One! There are many ways to cheat, besides the obvious most common male cheating... Leaving your girl for your friends, putting your girl down, leaving her second-third-fourth-or last place... Cheatig is a state of mind that involves much and always ends with destruction of trust, therefore destruction of faith, therefore destruction of the basis of love... And rebuilding THAT is almost impossible... Almost...
Rebuilding can take forever. It can consume everything, leaving only silence and stillness if not memory and pain... Endless hope can survive, but only in stasis and as an ideal.
Blaze Darkstream and Dorin Singlestar danced forever in the real story. The vampire in him ended up consuming and corrupting Blaze's soul. She received the dark kiss, and although darkness embraced her, the story had a bittersweet ending. The lovers would always belong, in life, unlife... living scourned... Ravenloft is the demiplane that is everywhere and nowhere at the same time... And its rapture is a beautiful, alluring emptiness filled with pulsing warm blood.
Candence and Mascom found each other in different realms, a cat and mouse chase that was neverending... I wonder...
Lyoness laughs at all and goes on, reaping her harvest of despair and madness. Yes, my job is done... The little people shall always feed my deity needs with their nameless actions and innocent deeds... Chaos is orderly misplaced in the worlds after all...
Kill the BEAST! Kill the BEAST!
Why is it so hard for most men to simply stick to their logical truth? I mean... If you have something going on with someone, give the all or give nothing... Trust all or nothing... Believe all or simply walk away. Why get involved when they know they have their hearts set in something else... Or maybe just that they follow the crowd stronger than they could ever follow one lonesome love... even if it's the love of all times... the big soulmate... the One! There are many ways to cheat, besides the obvious most common male cheating... Leaving your girl for your friends, putting your girl down, leaving her second-third-fourth-or last place... Cheatig is a state of mind that involves much and always ends with destruction of trust, therefore destruction of faith, therefore destruction of the basis of love... And rebuilding THAT is almost impossible... Almost...
Rebuilding can take forever. It can consume everything, leaving only silence and stillness if not memory and pain... Endless hope can survive, but only in stasis and as an ideal.
Blaze Darkstream and Dorin Singlestar danced forever in the real story. The vampire in him ended up consuming and corrupting Blaze's soul. She received the dark kiss, and although darkness embraced her, the story had a bittersweet ending. The lovers would always belong, in life, unlife... living scourned... Ravenloft is the demiplane that is everywhere and nowhere at the same time... And its rapture is a beautiful, alluring emptiness filled with pulsing warm blood.
Candence and Mascom found each other in different realms, a cat and mouse chase that was neverending... I wonder...
Lyoness laughs at all and goes on, reaping her harvest of despair and madness. Yes, my job is done... The little people shall always feed my deity needs with their nameless actions and innocent deeds... Chaos is orderly misplaced in the worlds after all...
Kill the BEAST! Kill the BEAST!
The threshold between right and wrong is pain.
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Imagine All the People
Ah! At work, stressed... How strange huh? No system, and seems it will stay like that for a whole day. No comments... Tired, been trying to find a dress for Nilsa and Gladys, but nothing shows up... Seems Royal Blue is a weird color for nice garments... Grrrr...
Whatever...
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Imagine All the People
Ah! At work, stressed... How strange huh? No system, and seems it will stay like that for a whole day. No comments... Tired, been trying to find a dress for Nilsa and Gladys, but nothing shows up... Seems Royal Blue is a weird color for nice garments... Grrrr...
Whatever...
Sunday, August 22, 2004
What a long day... Been trying to sleep, then trying to finish some carriages, then trying to finish some letters, then back again to trying to sleep... Then since I just couldnt I just had to hook in the net... Ahhhh... Headache!
Watching Rose Red for the 6th time... Planning world conquest for the 130th time...
Not much to say today. Still sad about Mistrita... Cyric and Kyonne2 seems ok... and groooooowing...
10-4
Watching Rose Red for the 6th time... Planning world conquest for the 130th time...
Not much to say today. Still sad about Mistrita... Cyric and Kyonne2 seems ok... and groooooowing...
10-4
Friday, August 20, 2004
I am sad for little Mistra. I gave the 3 babies and Michita a wormer to be certain they had no parasites. Turns out they did have, Michita and the boys had only a few. But Mistra was overloaded... She had more than 10 worms. I read that roundworms affect growth and may cause brain damage. So taking out the worms affected her, completely. She started shivering and jumping as a muscle reaction. Then her limbs started to paralyze. She struggled until the end. Her eyes stayed fixed, but I know she was looking... and I know she felt love around her, until the end.
Coriolis has been blue too. Work and everything else... LOL Don't you just HATE when the mix happens, big old Elf?
Lucinda is alive, the kids are ok.
Groundelette got some papers, fulfilled a Mission but still a long way to go to complete the Quest! Do not get discouraged now!
Groundel started college classes... So days are going faster each second...
And I have been working and working and working as the workaholic brat I am...
Hope things get better... Although my only complaint is Mistra's demise... But having her in a comatose state was worst... We humans tend to attach ourselves too much to our furry companions, almost forgetting that sometimes all the love in the world just ain't enough... Ah... Whatever...
Me... Turning into a bunny with the veggie-fruit new addiction. LOL Getting some energy out of vitamins, and feeling much better. The sugar is not so sky-rocketed, still a long way to go to reach the goal BUT in the process. Yes, I am doing something about that, thank-you. :)
Got someone who may be able to do the castle-cake I wanted after all... Yay! And got someone to cover the catering at a very fair price, second Yay! :) Now, I hope that mommy helps out on the money matters by the 30th...
Must sleep... Work 2morrow... Although I may take it easy, as half the people will go to an activity at Hatillo... Whatever...
10-4
Coriolis has been blue too. Work and everything else... LOL Don't you just HATE when the mix happens, big old Elf?
Lucinda is alive, the kids are ok.
Groundelette got some papers, fulfilled a Mission but still a long way to go to complete the Quest! Do not get discouraged now!
Groundel started college classes... So days are going faster each second...
And I have been working and working and working as the workaholic brat I am...
Hope things get better... Although my only complaint is Mistra's demise... But having her in a comatose state was worst... We humans tend to attach ourselves too much to our furry companions, almost forgetting that sometimes all the love in the world just ain't enough... Ah... Whatever...
Me... Turning into a bunny with the veggie-fruit new addiction. LOL Getting some energy out of vitamins, and feeling much better. The sugar is not so sky-rocketed, still a long way to go to reach the goal BUT in the process. Yes, I am doing something about that, thank-you. :)
Got someone who may be able to do the castle-cake I wanted after all... Yay! And got someone to cover the catering at a very fair price, second Yay! :) Now, I hope that mommy helps out on the money matters by the 30th...
Must sleep... Work 2morrow... Although I may take it easy, as half the people will go to an activity at Hatillo... Whatever...
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Thursday, August 19, 2004
Mystrita died yesterday, at 9:00 PM. Poison, brain damage... she was already pretty much gone... Struggling to keep the body alive... Perhaps feeling helplessly trapped in a body that wouldn't respond... The vet couldn't do much... I felt pretty helpless as well... Watching her go was another difficult task... I still can't believe it... Just 2 days ago she was crawling up my arm, cuddling in my neck... Quiet Mystra... The one that was shy, silent, the good girl... And as the song says, only the good die young...
Mystrita June 19 - August 18
May you rest in peace, in Kitty Heaven...
We will meet again.
Give Kyonene my love...
And be certain I love you as much.
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Mystrita June 19 - August 18
May you rest in peace, in Kitty Heaven...
We will meet again.
Give Kyonene my love...
And be certain I love you as much.
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Friday, August 13, 2004
Friday the 13th, so this witch could not miss the chance to write. I'm surrounded with black kitties and got plenty of ill luck to spare! ;)
What I've been doing? Working, working, working... This week I've done enough to go home and just go to sleep. I am so friggin tired!
Groundelette still has no direction or job... Had a talk with her and hopefully she will get one in 2 weeks following my supercalifragilistic plan. Wish her luck, she needs it. Too shy, shy... She needs an injection of Braveheart and Conan and a brew of gomibayas...
Groundel is trying to control his anger, so Hulk doesn't appear to mess things up a little further. Good. So after a week of stormy weathers, the waters are calm, if not completely still.
No sign of Trilogy. RIP
Have same problems with my stupid phone, so cannot login at home... Crappy!!!! Lost an important bid thanks to this... ARGHHHHH!!!!
Anyway... Salutations to everyone... Hey, Joe, I have not forgotten about you!!!! :) And Kara and Vero, I'll get the blogs updates on the weekend... cannot read at work... Shouldn't be writing at all! LOL Oh, well...
Gotta go...
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What I've been doing? Working, working, working... This week I've done enough to go home and just go to sleep. I am so friggin tired!
Groundelette still has no direction or job... Had a talk with her and hopefully she will get one in 2 weeks following my supercalifragilistic plan. Wish her luck, she needs it. Too shy, shy... She needs an injection of Braveheart and Conan and a brew of gomibayas...
Groundel is trying to control his anger, so Hulk doesn't appear to mess things up a little further. Good. So after a week of stormy weathers, the waters are calm, if not completely still.
No sign of Trilogy. RIP
Have same problems with my stupid phone, so cannot login at home... Crappy!!!! Lost an important bid thanks to this... ARGHHHHH!!!!
Anyway... Salutations to everyone... Hey, Joe, I have not forgotten about you!!!! :) And Kara and Vero, I'll get the blogs updates on the weekend... cannot read at work... Shouldn't be writing at all! LOL Oh, well...
Gotta go...
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Saturday, July 31, 2004
Saturday, finally got a break to write. This week went too fast too furious for me... I'm deeply sad but it is ok... I guess... It doesn't really matters.
Michita and the kids are doing great.
Groundel and Groundelette doing great too.
Trilogy as depressed as I am, a bit more disturbing though...
Coriolis as deep as ever in his new alter ego: Buffito!
No work this week... sort of vacation... sort of getting things together...
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Michita and the kids are doing great.
Groundel and Groundelette doing great too.
Trilogy as depressed as I am, a bit more disturbing though...
Coriolis as deep as ever in his new alter ego: Buffito!
No work this week... sort of vacation... sort of getting things together...
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Friday, July 23, 2004
This lunch hour is sooooo lame... Got no money to go eat, and I have a great headache... At least the day is going fast. Went to Aguadilla in the morning, and arrived almost 5 minutes ago... I'm sleepy, tired, and the back pain is increasing by the minute... I need a personal therapist! LOL
Yup, trying to smile in my misery...
Hope that I stop being sick by Sunday. All these free days, and me being in bed being able to do nothing is really ANOYING and NOT HELPING AT ALL!!!! Hope I can do the 2 murals I need next week... And finish the goodies I have been doing for the wedding. At least Groundelette will be my helper of the week... Hmmm, actually it is more like "Finally a 24hr no-pay helper!" Yay!!!!! ;)
Will try getting a gov loan next week. Wish me luck. At least I must get 400, and that will solve one of the problems in the list of 12. Terminaré en la Comercio a este paso... :((
Anyway... The Monsegnor cannot give a mass, so the wedding will be the no-mass edition. Hmm... Ethereal? I wish! So I guess that the flavor for the theme will take place at the reception... Hope things get together after all. And hope I stop being sick by then! God, imagine me being sick that day, or the days after when we get to Universal or Disney! Blah!
Anyway... At work running things smoothly. Not so stressed this week, just in pain. You win some, you loose some... Ah! The balance! :P
Kitties succeeding at potty training. Cyric sleeping at all times, Mystra being a darling with her mommy and Kyonne being true to his name. :) Michita has been practicing great escapes, and the other old four are still not thrilled about them. Whatever!
Gotta go now. Have a great weekend!
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Yup, trying to smile in my misery...
Hope that I stop being sick by Sunday. All these free days, and me being in bed being able to do nothing is really ANOYING and NOT HELPING AT ALL!!!! Hope I can do the 2 murals I need next week... And finish the goodies I have been doing for the wedding. At least Groundelette will be my helper of the week... Hmmm, actually it is more like "Finally a 24hr no-pay helper!" Yay!!!!! ;)
Will try getting a gov loan next week. Wish me luck. At least I must get 400, and that will solve one of the problems in the list of 12. Terminaré en la Comercio a este paso... :((
Anyway... The Monsegnor cannot give a mass, so the wedding will be the no-mass edition. Hmm... Ethereal? I wish! So I guess that the flavor for the theme will take place at the reception... Hope things get together after all. And hope I stop being sick by then! God, imagine me being sick that day, or the days after when we get to Universal or Disney! Blah!
Anyway... At work running things smoothly. Not so stressed this week, just in pain. You win some, you loose some... Ah! The balance! :P
Kitties succeeding at potty training. Cyric sleeping at all times, Mystra being a darling with her mommy and Kyonne being true to his name. :) Michita has been practicing great escapes, and the other old four are still not thrilled about them. Whatever!
Gotta go now. Have a great weekend!
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Thursday, July 22, 2004
Ok... still sick but at least smiling and standing... sort of... Grrr... no money, tired of hot dogs, tired of avena, ahhhhh! Weeelll... trying to get some things sort out in financial matters. At work, in pain still. :(
Alive. This weekend is Groundels B-day on the 25th... Yayyyy! And his sister should be arriving just in time. :)
Kitties are precious!
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Alive. This weekend is Groundels B-day on the 25th... Yayyyy! And his sister should be arriving just in time. :)
Kitties are precious!
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Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Couldn't go work today. I had/have a great headache, fever, seems like the flu with the addition of a 450 of sugar in my diabetes-meter. That turned to a so-nice 220 by nightfall, nevertheless too high... For those who don't know anyone is suppossed to have 80-110 in sugar. So yes, 220 is still high. That's why I am dizzy, couldn't get off my bed until around 6pm. Checked some docs, so 2morrow will visit the ER and the Internalist and the Generalist. Also got a date with the psico on Aug. I need to get in tip-toe shape in matters of health, I can't keep getting sick by the hour. THIS I COMMAND!!!!!
Michita and the kids are happy campers at the bathroom. The kids will soon be introduced properly to the world of the living and unliving...
Groundel is ok and kicking. We went on Saturday to the wedding of one of his friends, DonLuis. We thought we were running late but no... the bride was really running late! An hour and a half late. LOL Yup, there was a nervous groom indeed :) So, after all the events we paid a visit to old landowner Tinita who gave us a loooong chat of 5 hours. After that we went back home. Coriolis was sick, I couldnt call AVO and plans just melt because of SEVERE lack of funds and my continual dizziness... Yeah, my sugar has been high for about 5 days, so what... Still going... Only the good die young anyway... Ok, so that doesn't help my case... Whatever...
Trilogy has been trying 2 find me. I have been unavailable due to constant running here and there.
Waters are lowering, but still, people misunderstand EVERYTHING because they know NOTHING. That really pisses me off. Some stories are too long and too original to tell since anyone could copy it and sell it and gain plenty of money from it... Someday, when I get REALLY bored, I will start writing a clean copy of The Trials and Tortures of Dear Miss V. A completely uncut version. From year one to year thirtysomething. Then people will go uuuuuuuuu and aaaaaaaaa with true rights. Until then it all just deserve a lovely FUCK OFF from my side. I am tired of being questioned when most questions should be launched at the people who surround me. I am tired of taking blames for others actions. I am tired of taking blows for the heck of it. Every move I make, every word I write, every thought I think has a deeper purpose and meaning. And I take nothing back. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have like Madonna said once or many times "Absolutely No Regrets". And as old Billy Joel said once "And she never gives out, and she never gives in... She just changes her mind."
I always stand by my true friends no matter what. So much cannot be said about family, both mine's and Groundel's. It is now that everyone appears, but through the years THAT is not what the story has told. And the true story of Miss V and Mr Groundel is nothing but a blank page on his family's diaries. In his case, he has been his own for more than 3/4 of his life, and no angel by the way. He was too damn lucky I happenned to him. I, who have stood at his side during the worst times of his life, and have taken many blows from him in every sense of the word. I changed him into the good boy he is now, a task that was difficult, painful and hard. So, if I am to reap the harvest it is my right by all means. I have been his friend first, always. And the same applies to Trilogy. And nothing in the whole damn world, heaven or hell can change that. Only we know the true story, the cast, the drama, the lies, the loss, the victory. Trilogy, Groundel and Vierna will be forever their own family, in their own terms. Quote this raven.
EVERYTHING LOUDER THAN EVERYTHING ELSE
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Michita and the kids are happy campers at the bathroom. The kids will soon be introduced properly to the world of the living and unliving...
Groundel is ok and kicking. We went on Saturday to the wedding of one of his friends, DonLuis. We thought we were running late but no... the bride was really running late! An hour and a half late. LOL Yup, there was a nervous groom indeed :) So, after all the events we paid a visit to old landowner Tinita who gave us a loooong chat of 5 hours. After that we went back home. Coriolis was sick, I couldnt call AVO and plans just melt because of SEVERE lack of funds and my continual dizziness... Yeah, my sugar has been high for about 5 days, so what... Still going... Only the good die young anyway... Ok, so that doesn't help my case... Whatever...
Trilogy has been trying 2 find me. I have been unavailable due to constant running here and there.
Waters are lowering, but still, people misunderstand EVERYTHING because they know NOTHING. That really pisses me off. Some stories are too long and too original to tell since anyone could copy it and sell it and gain plenty of money from it... Someday, when I get REALLY bored, I will start writing a clean copy of The Trials and Tortures of Dear Miss V. A completely uncut version. From year one to year thirtysomething. Then people will go uuuuuuuuu and aaaaaaaaa with true rights. Until then it all just deserve a lovely FUCK OFF from my side. I am tired of being questioned when most questions should be launched at the people who surround me. I am tired of taking blames for others actions. I am tired of taking blows for the heck of it. Every move I make, every word I write, every thought I think has a deeper purpose and meaning. And I take nothing back. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have like Madonna said once or many times "Absolutely No Regrets". And as old Billy Joel said once "And she never gives out, and she never gives in... She just changes her mind."
I always stand by my true friends no matter what. So much cannot be said about family, both mine's and Groundel's. It is now that everyone appears, but through the years THAT is not what the story has told. And the true story of Miss V and Mr Groundel is nothing but a blank page on his family's diaries. In his case, he has been his own for more than 3/4 of his life, and no angel by the way. He was too damn lucky I happenned to him. I, who have stood at his side during the worst times of his life, and have taken many blows from him in every sense of the word. I changed him into the good boy he is now, a task that was difficult, painful and hard. So, if I am to reap the harvest it is my right by all means. I have been his friend first, always. And the same applies to Trilogy. And nothing in the whole damn world, heaven or hell can change that. Only we know the true story, the cast, the drama, the lies, the loss, the victory. Trilogy, Groundel and Vierna will be forever their own family, in their own terms. Quote this raven.
EVERYTHING LOUDER THAN EVERYTHING ELSE
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Thursday, July 08, 2004
Ok, Drama Kings and Queens... Newsflash, the wedding is STILL same time same place, no change whatsoever. A reminder: This is a blog, this is an "online diary", a place to rant, to pour out thoughts and feelings that are both crazy and irrational or plainly real. I write so I know a bit more about myself, I've always done so and I will never stop.
So, Ladies and Gentlemen... This is only the beginning.
The best is yet to come...
The show must go on!
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So, Ladies and Gentlemen... This is only the beginning.
The best is yet to come...
The show must go on!
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Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Some snatched up tests from Vero's blog... Here are my outcomes! ;)
You have a ton of friends, perhaps more friends than anyone you know.Nothing to do on Friday night? No problem for you to find the action.You're friendly, easy to know, and you seem to get along with almost everyone.You love to express yourself - and everyone knows a good deal about you.Whether you're giving your opinion or sharing your dreams, you don't keep anything in.
Okkkkk... Well... I am big-mouthed, tell the truth all the time and get in trouble for that... yup, extroverted...
While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time. Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses...You don't give men enough of your time.As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.
Okkkkk... Yup, that last one had to deal with this... ok... everyone had to deal with it! So, I am too responsible at work, and at school... So what? LOL
Maybe you love the undying devotion dogs give you...Or maybe you discovered early on that mouning a horse is *very fun* You are well on the path to beastality - if you're not already there.Don't let your love for animals go too far, or you'll ended up being the one on all fours in jail.
What Sex Crime Will You Be Arrested For?
Okkkkkk... that was simply WEIRD! I hate dogs and stallions! I am a feline lover! Hmph!
Spakings until they're all insane!Yup, you're totally in it for the pain. Handcuffs, whips, hot candle wax. That's the stuff that helps you relax.
What's *Your* Hidden Sexual Talent?
Awwwwwwww... Am I gonna be arrested for that?
You're the shy, silent type. You haven't had much experience at all, and you keep it quiet.You love playing sweet and innocent, but you have naughty fantasies too. Your sweet little tongue is perfect for teasing.You love to get your lovers all excited. But you can't keep letting them down, or you'll be left lonely.
Come out of your shell a little, experiment with new things. You've mastered kissing... it's time to be a little more daring!
What's Your Tongue's Talent?
What! Hmmm... no comments LOL
Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood.You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out.You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat.This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife!
I had no doubts about THAT LOL
You can be best described as: attitude. You've got lots of it - and you love to give it. A guy has to be pretty gusty to hit on you. But if he's your type, you'll warm up... a little.
True, VERY true...
Urbane,Dominant, Flamboyant, Drama Queen, 100% Original, Attention-Whore, Just A Little Snobby, Optimistic and Enthusiastic.
What's Your True Zodiac Sign? Take This Quiz :-)
Hmmm... I'll stick to being Aries, thank you.
No matter what your ehtnic background, you've got a unique look. And your one of a kind beauty makes an imprint in every man's mind. You hardly ever wear the same outfit twice, and your hair is always changing. As a result, your look is always new and fresh - never outdated or stale.
If they say so... I cannot argue with them. ;)
Tests, tests, tests... Time-killers...
|
You Are An Extrovert!Are You An Extrovert or Introvert? Take This Quiz :-) |
You have a ton of friends, perhaps more friends than anyone you know.Nothing to do on Friday night? No problem for you to find the action.You're friendly, easy to know, and you seem to get along with almost everyone.You love to express yourself - and everyone knows a good deal about you.Whether you're giving your opinion or sharing your dreams, you don't keep anything in.
Okkkkk... Well... I am big-mouthed, tell the truth all the time and get in trouble for that... yup, extroverted...
|
You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too BusyWhy Don't You Have a Boyfriend Take This Quiz :-) |
While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time. Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses...You don't give men enough of your time.As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.
Okkkkk... Yup, that last one had to deal with this... ok... everyone had to deal with it! So, I am too responsible at work, and at school... So what? LOL
You'll Be Arrested For Beastiality
Maybe you love the undying devotion dogs give you...Or maybe you discovered early on that mouning a horse is *very fun* You are well on the path to beastality - if you're not already there.Don't let your love for animals go too far, or you'll ended up being the one on all fours in jail.
What Sex Crime Will You Be Arrested For?
Okkkkkk... that was simply WEIRD! I hate dogs and stallions! I am a feline lover! Hmph!
Your Hidden Sexual Talent is Giving Pain!
Spakings until they're all insane!Yup, you're totally in it for the pain. Handcuffs, whips, hot candle wax. That's the stuff that helps you relax.
What's *Your* Hidden Sexual Talent?
Awwwwwwww... Am I gonna be arrested for that?
Your Tongue's Talent is Kissing!
You're the shy, silent type. You haven't had much experience at all, and you keep it quiet.You love playing sweet and innocent, but you have naughty fantasies too. Your sweet little tongue is perfect for teasing.You love to get your lovers all excited. But you can't keep letting them down, or you'll be left lonely.
Come out of your shell a little, experiment with new things. You've mastered kissing... it's time to be a little more daring!
What's Your Tongue's Talent?
What! Hmmm... no comments LOL
|
You Are A Woman!Are You a Girl or Woman? Take This Quiz :-) |
Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood.You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out.You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat.This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife!
I had no doubts about THAT LOL
You can be best described as: attitude. You've got lots of it - and you love to give it. A guy has to be pretty gusty to hit on you. But if he's your type, you'll warm up... a little.
True, VERY true...
Your True Sign Is Leo
Urbane,Dominant, Flamboyant, Drama Queen, 100% Original, Attention-Whore, Just A Little Snobby, Optimistic and Enthusiastic.
What's Your True Zodiac Sign? Take This Quiz :-)
Hmmm... I'll stick to being Aries, thank you.
|
You Are an Exotic Beauty!What Type of Beauty Are You? Take This Quiz :-) |
No matter what your ehtnic background, you've got a unique look. And your one of a kind beauty makes an imprint in every man's mind. You hardly ever wear the same outfit twice, and your hair is always changing. As a result, your look is always new and fresh - never outdated or stale.
If they say so... I cannot argue with them. ;)
Tests, tests, tests... Time-killers...
Beauty tips, by Audrey Hepburn
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of
each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for
helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
Audrey Hepburn wrote this when asked to share her "beauty tips." It was read at her funeral years later.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as
well dance!
HAPPY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN MONTH! ;)
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of
each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for
helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
Audrey Hepburn wrote this when asked to share her "beauty tips." It was read at her funeral years later.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as
well dance!
HAPPY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN MONTH! ;)
Trials, the Times of Trouble have finally arrived to the real world. Hmmm... Deep thinking, quarrels within inner self and the both eternal rivals: heart and thought. All has long consequences, lifetime consequences. Groundel still wants to go ahead with all we planned... I am uncertain. I feel divided and it is tearing me apart. Trilogy wants to be back forever, but the crystal ball features uncertain dark mist swirling on its reins zenith... Right now, it is all making me sick, literally. I don't know what to do still. I just know that it is all 3 months away and that either Trilogy shows me his true colors once and for all, or he looses me.
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Tuesday, June 29, 2004
True Love.
An utopic idea that happens once in a lifetime if you get that lucky.
A dream that blurs and vanishes when you least expect...
A lightning that strikes twice in the same tree, leaving it burnt and dead.
A ghost that dances around you, enthralling you with its magical whispers, and then fades for a while... until you summon it again with your secret chantings... and it comes back for a while...
Not everyone has met True Love. I did. I did once, 14 years ago. It changed my life forever. Through the worst storms we have been there for each other in spirit. Through life we have been the best of friends while pretending to the world we are the worst enemies. Years passed, but our bond is unbreakable even if it seems unreal. We will always be Beauty and the Beast, and although we cannot be together we will NEVER ever be apart...
Whose fault has been our seemingly state of vanishment? Both... none's... Fate fickleness, maybe, jealous of such a devotion among souls? It doesn't matter. We keep faith someday things will be different... So our pledges can be honored... So our dreams can become true... So we truly become one. One beautiful day we will be home.
True Love... The deepest pain, the deepest sorrow, the deepest bond... the greatest gift... the truest reason to live on, and keep believing. Someday... Full circle...
My Trilogy. Forever.
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An utopic idea that happens once in a lifetime if you get that lucky.
A dream that blurs and vanishes when you least expect...
A lightning that strikes twice in the same tree, leaving it burnt and dead.
A ghost that dances around you, enthralling you with its magical whispers, and then fades for a while... until you summon it again with your secret chantings... and it comes back for a while...
Not everyone has met True Love. I did. I did once, 14 years ago. It changed my life forever. Through the worst storms we have been there for each other in spirit. Through life we have been the best of friends while pretending to the world we are the worst enemies. Years passed, but our bond is unbreakable even if it seems unreal. We will always be Beauty and the Beast, and although we cannot be together we will NEVER ever be apart...
Whose fault has been our seemingly state of vanishment? Both... none's... Fate fickleness, maybe, jealous of such a devotion among souls? It doesn't matter. We keep faith someday things will be different... So our pledges can be honored... So our dreams can become true... So we truly become one. One beautiful day we will be home.
True Love... The deepest pain, the deepest sorrow, the deepest bond... the greatest gift... the truest reason to live on, and keep believing. Someday... Full circle...
My Trilogy. Forever.
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Thursday, June 24, 2004
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Feeling: Happy
Thinking: About how to get the tickets for Universal and Disney and Medieval Times and Arabian Nights...
Breathing: Work, A/C, cables... AHHHHH!
Eating: BBQ saice in a bun... I want something cold, DAMNIT!
Loving: Kitties, Michita, Groundel, Alex, Sara, AVO, Zordak and, hell, why not, Trilogy.
Hating: I don't hate. Hate is such a strong, awful word...
Remembering: The Golden Years, my youth... Spelljammer... Endless LA-RPG...
Wishing: For more money, to pay ALL debts and just get my credit fixed to get a wonderful feline lair... Grrrrrrrrrr
So... Hope this weekend I can achieve a little more... Feel tired, and tomorrow must go to a freak reunion. Hopefully I'll get to see Coriolis if he go with me to have lunch. Since my car misbehaved todays morning, I had to ask for work transportation... Sooooo... On saturday I hope I can get my wedding dress to the sewing-lady, then visit Pabon. On Sunday, I'll finish the freakin masks. On Monday I'll take my car to the vet... and pay the rent. On Tuesday I'll go to CR to get some vases, and then to get some willow and baby's breath so I can start the boutonniers. Sooooo... Plenty to do, nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide...
Last night dyed my hair w/ a brand dye... turned out orange-carrot-reddish... Hmm... Don't like it. I prefer the inhuman hue of the vampy red. But that has to wait for next week's weekend! LOL
The three little piggies... kitties... are so cute, cute, cute! Michita has been a Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat mom, and they are always clean and well fed. Gotta get some Ensure for Mich, though... They are gonna drain her!
Well, that's the newsflash for now... Oh, been planning the honeymoon... 14 days, FL, Disney-Universal-yadda yadda... Now it's for real! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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Feeling: Happy
Thinking: About how to get the tickets for Universal and Disney and Medieval Times and Arabian Nights...
Breathing: Work, A/C, cables... AHHHHH!
Eating: BBQ saice in a bun... I want something cold, DAMNIT!
Loving: Kitties, Michita, Groundel, Alex, Sara, AVO, Zordak and, hell, why not, Trilogy.
Hating: I don't hate. Hate is such a strong, awful word...
Remembering: The Golden Years, my youth... Spelljammer... Endless LA-RPG...
Wishing: For more money, to pay ALL debts and just get my credit fixed to get a wonderful feline lair... Grrrrrrrrrr
So... Hope this weekend I can achieve a little more... Feel tired, and tomorrow must go to a freak reunion. Hopefully I'll get to see Coriolis if he go with me to have lunch. Since my car misbehaved todays morning, I had to ask for work transportation... Sooooo... On saturday I hope I can get my wedding dress to the sewing-lady, then visit Pabon. On Sunday, I'll finish the freakin masks. On Monday I'll take my car to the vet... and pay the rent. On Tuesday I'll go to CR to get some vases, and then to get some willow and baby's breath so I can start the boutonniers. Sooooo... Plenty to do, nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide...
Last night dyed my hair w/ a brand dye... turned out orange-carrot-reddish... Hmm... Don't like it. I prefer the inhuman hue of the vampy red. But that has to wait for next week's weekend! LOL
The three little piggies... kitties... are so cute, cute, cute! Michita has been a Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat mom, and they are always clean and well fed. Gotta get some Ensure for Mich, though... They are gonna drain her!
Well, that's the newsflash for now... Oh, been planning the honeymoon... 14 days, FL, Disney-Universal-yadda yadda... Now it's for real! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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Monday, June 21, 2004
The breeze crawls slowly, moving leaves and allowing the ghosts to dance... And so they do. The dance is slow and serene, yet the breeze alows the howl to travel faster than the movements...
The howls speak of the deepest of sorrows...
And then it all stops. The swift wind dies. The leaves fall to the ground, a carpet of moss and corroding nature that pretends to keep the howl mute... The ghosts are gone... Are they?
Every moonless night, the breeze returns... the ghosts dance if only in the shadowy realms of... the twilight zone...
Alas! My ghosts will live on forever!
10-4
The howls speak of the deepest of sorrows...
And then it all stops. The swift wind dies. The leaves fall to the ground, a carpet of moss and corroding nature that pretends to keep the howl mute... The ghosts are gone... Are they?
Every moonless night, the breeze returns... the ghosts dance if only in the shadowy realms of... the twilight zone...
Alas! My ghosts will live on forever!
10-4
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Saturday, June 19, 2004
THIS IS AWESOME!!!! Michita is a Mother of 2 BEAUTIFUL Gothic Kitties!!!
She was calling and calling and calling and would only shut up if I was in the bathroom (where I have her confined). So I layed on the floor and put my hand inside the taxi... It was the only way she would stay quiet. She put her head over my hand. And then I fall asleep. I heard a sound and woke up. A baby kitty was turning at his mommys side, and another one was coming out. It was amazing. Once again, Michita demonstrated she has lightning speed for doing everything! :P
10-4
She was calling and calling and calling and would only shut up if I was in the bathroom (where I have her confined). So I layed on the floor and put my hand inside the taxi... It was the only way she would stay quiet. She put her head over my hand. And then I fall asleep. I heard a sound and woke up. A baby kitty was turning at his mommys side, and another one was coming out. It was amazing. Once again, Michita demonstrated she has lightning speed for doing everything! :P
10-4
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Feelings for the day: Moody. Angry. Exhasperated. Vicious. Killer. Mayhem. Chaos. Entropy. Disorder.
Thoughts for the day: One brain, it has time sharing for all men around the world.
Action of the day: Updates
Concern of the day: I wish someone would really make me feel I am so valuable to him...
Hope of my life: I do believe miracles do happen... Its waiting that dissapoints so much...
I'm just tired, I guess. Pessimistic the whole day, got some of the bad dust of the Snow Queen... so it hardens heart and blurs vision. Whatever. Maybe it's just PMS. Maybe I'm too stressed underneath the happy serenity, maybe it's all an omen...
Gotta sleep. 2 long days coming soon...
10-4
Thoughts for the day: One brain, it has time sharing for all men around the world.
Action of the day: Updates
Concern of the day: I wish someone would really make me feel I am so valuable to him...
Hope of my life: I do believe miracles do happen... Its waiting that dissapoints so much...
I'm just tired, I guess. Pessimistic the whole day, got some of the bad dust of the Snow Queen... so it hardens heart and blurs vision. Whatever. Maybe it's just PMS. Maybe I'm too stressed underneath the happy serenity, maybe it's all an omen...
Gotta sleep. 2 long days coming soon...
10-4
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Loooong day... Coriolis tiró bombazo, para variar... Terminé los 48 antifaces, now just 12 complete masks to go. Yup, having fun... NOT! Monday I'll see the dentist, and on Tuesday I'll visit old Circo to take measurements of the place for the deco... Trilogy called, he was gonna make some cd's for moi, because he felt like it? Hmmm... Whatever.
Michita is doing great. She is very alert, but still no kitties birth... So I guess is 2 more weeks to go? :)
Nothing else on the Yellow Bricked Road.
10-4
Michita is doing great. She is very alert, but still no kitties birth... So I guess is 2 more weeks to go? :)
Nothing else on the Yellow Bricked Road.
10-4
Sunday, June 06, 2004
Scrapbooking a-lot... Got some pages for more scrapbooking mayhem. Hey!!! Popu! Michi! Vero! Coriolis! Lucinda! I need pictures! So, send pictures to me, damnit! SEND THEM NOW! You know the old address... been the same for more than 30 years. ;)
Been gardening too... I got a fever, that must be it...
No work 2morrow and 2sday. Gotta see the eye doc and finish some manualidades, buahahah...
114 Fahrenheit degrees... The wave is coming! I'm melting! I'm melting!
10-4
Been gardening too... I got a fever, that must be it...
No work 2morrow and 2sday. Gotta see the eye doc and finish some manualidades, buahahah...
114 Fahrenheit degrees... The wave is coming! I'm melting! I'm melting!
10-4
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